Ethiopian Adoption Adventure

Wooly Hair

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:25:00 +0000

My best friend Bill told me a story yesterday. He was getting his hair cut at a barbershop in Salt Lake City and the barber said to him, “You know, there are two types of people in the world.” Perplexed, Bill tried to think of the two types. Men and women? Christian and not? Rich and poor? The barber said, “Straight haired people and wooly haired people.” If you know my friend Bill, you know that he is African-American. He happened to be in one of the few black barbershops in Utah.

Safe to say, our son or daughter will be of the wooly haired persuasion. Do any of you but Bill know the first thing about wooly hair care? It may be as difficult for us to find a barber for our child in Spokane as it was for Bill in Utah. Said Bill, “Don’t look in the good neighborhoods.”

Bill told me another story. His son, Brendan, who has a white mother and has her color complexion, was at his first day of school a few years ago. Brendan is a bit shy and Bill was worried about him being able to make friends. When Brendan got home, he said he had a great day and had made a new friend, the only black child in the class. “We both have curly hair,” he said. Isn’t it great how simple kids can be?

We heard from adoption agency that there were no referrals last week. I guess after almost 50 referrals in the two previous weeks, it makes sense that they would slow down for a bit. They only have so much capacity since the adoptions have to go through the legal process in Ethiopia and they only have the ability to have about 10 families at a time in country. Breelyn and I are very excited to think how quickly we have moved up the list in the past month. We are getting close to the point when we will expect “The Call” any day. Maybe we should start a pool.

I tried to cook my favorite African dish,Ugali, last week. It did not go well. The chicken stew was not thick enough and was very bland. The corn meal mush was more like rapidly drying cement. My wonderful wife was very sweet and said she liked it. She put the corn meal in the stew like dumplings and enjoyed it that way. We still have a lot of it in the refrigerator. I was supposed to eat it last week while Breelyn was out of town. Probably not going to make it.

I hope all are happy and healthy. We would love to read your comments to this post or any of the others.

Love,

Breelyn and Mike

A rush of referrals

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 23:23:00 +0000

Monday is the day that we get the email from our adoption agency stating how many families received referrals last week and the average wait time. The average referrals received per week has traditionally been about 6. With close to 400 families on the list it seems to move really slowwww.

For the last 2 weeks there have been over 20+ referrals each week. At first I get so excited, I have to text Mike at work "21 referrals last week - we are moving up the list baby." My heart starts to pound faster and Thursday I even worked myself into tears in my taxi on the way to LAX airport thinking about getting the call from the adoption agency saying we had been matched with a baby.

Then there is always that little nagging voice...gosh over 40 referrals in the last 2 weeks - all those Ethiopian families that are experiencing such loss, such grief, making such an agonizing decision to give up a child or children. My heart goes out to them. It hurts for them. Some days my heart hurts because I long to be a mom so bad...but lately my heart hurts for those who have lost their children due to death or poverty. I hope I or we...make you proud.

Tango and black churches

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:08:00 +0000

Mike and I attended a wonderful Tango dinner with about 30 other people from our church on Saturday night. We had a traditional Argentine dinner, listened to tango music and enjoyed some wonderful conversation. Among many wonderful guests, there was an amazing couple we dined with that are in their mid 80's. They have so much spunk...not to mention they are both over 6 feet tall - as are all 3 of their daughters. We were both enthralled with their story telling and the life they have lived. May we be as passionate and positive tomorrow as they are today.

One of the conversations we got into was of course about our decision to adopt and the challenges of bringing a black child to Spokane. We talked about the struggles our church has had in trying to be more diverse. Black couples and singles have joined over the years only to stop coming after a few months...and it is an incredibly welcoming...albeit white environment. It is something that has frustrated the congregation for some time. The church teaches diversity but can't seem to encourage significant diversity - of ethnicity at least.

So I started thinking about black churches. According to some research we have 18 traditionally black churches in Spokane including Calvary Baptist Church which is the oldest traditionally black church in the state of Washington. It started in 1890. Check out http://www.blackpast.org/?q=aaw/calvary-baptist-church-spokane-washington-1890 for more info.

From my recruiting work, I have always known that black churches can be the cornerstone of African American communities. But the question is, how do I get to know people in the church. I don't want to pretend to have the same belief system...I am not baptist, although my grandmother is. Do I just walk back and forth on the side walk and hope someone notices me...do I walk in and say "Hi I am adopting a black child and need a role model...do you know anyone that would fit the bill?" Of course I am teasing about both these options, but it is not easy. I've considered seeing if the church has a group for people our age - get to know other couples with kids potentially... but really it is not easy to develop these relationships. Suggestions?

dinner

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:13:00 +0000

By the way - the Dora wat I cooked last night...fantastic...found some berbere at World market. The Yemiser W'et (spicy lentil soup) was good too. Also made some Ethiopian cabbage, carrots and potatoes with turmeric and cumin - nummy. Injera...not good. Tried the buckwheat recipe and by my second one it was looking beautiful, bubbled up...peeling on the edges - but could not get it out of the pan without it falling apart. I resorted to brown rice which goes wonderfully.

I shall overcome...found a few sites on making an injera starter and a site that sells a electric 16inc grill that is perfect for making injera and is supposedly what many Ethiopians in the US use.

I'm going to order one and will keep you posted on my success. Did find some Teff at the natural food store so have all the right ingredients to make the real stuff...now just need some practice. I also found a site you can order fresh injera from on the Internet....hmmm.

Preventing the spread of HIV to newborns

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Here is a post from a now defunct blog written by an American living in Addis Ababa. "Ferenge Addis Blog" I highly recommend taking some time to read through his postings.

When I tell people what I do it sounds like a string of acronyms. We’re trying to prevent the spread of HIV from infected mothers to their unborn and newborn babies. (Prevention of mother-to-child transmission, or PMTCT)

(If you were hoping for a funny travelogue, feel free to stop here and come back tomorrow.)

It works like this: When mothers come for pre-natal care (called ante-natal care or ANC here), they’re routinely tested for HIV while they’re being tested for anemia and other things. If they’re HIV-positive we can give them prophylactic drugs that will, in most cases, prevent spreading the infection to their babies during birth. The drug is Nevirapine and we give it to the mom at about 34 weeks gestation. Then we give it to the mom during labor, and to the baby within 72 hours of birth. The drug is cheap, it’s accessible, it has a great shelf live. Yet only about 1% of HIV-positive mothers and babies ever get it.

Why?

To start with, we never see most pregnant women at the health centers for ante-natal care. We see even fewer of them for delivery. In Ethiopia 94% of women deliver at home.

What to do?

If the women won’t come to the Nevirapine, we’re taking the Nevirapine to the women. We’re training Health Extension workers, who work house-to-house in rural areas, to administer the drug to mothers and babies at the appropriate times. Wish us luck.

See photos here

Dora What?

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:29:00 +0000

Okay - it is my turn to cook Ethiopian tonight. I am making Dora wat, injera, some salad and something with lentils that I haven't figured out yet. Check out this tour of an Ethiopian restaurant.

The Hunger Season

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:21:00 +0000

Here is an interesting article from the BBC regarding decreasing food rations to Ethiopia.

This one answers some interesting questions that come up regarding the ongoing famine in the country - it is from last year - but still pertinent.

Ethiopian History Timeline from BBC

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 16:11:00 +0000

Timeline: Ethiopia
A chronology of key events:

2nd century AD - Kingdom of Axum becomes a regional trading power.

4th century - Coptic Christianity introduced from Egypt.

Obelisks in Axum, once the seat of an ancient kingdom

Restoring Ethiopia's great obelisk
1530-31 - Muslim leader Ahmad Gran conquers much of Ethiopia.

1818-68 - Lij Kasa conquers Amhara, Gojjam, Tigray and Shoa.

1855 - Kasa becomes Emperor Tewodros II.

1868 - Tewodros defeated by a British expeditionary force and commits suicide to avoid capture.

1872 - Tigrayan chieftain becomes Yohannes IV.

1889 - Yohannes IV killed while fighting Mahdist forces and is succeeded by the king of Shoa, who becomes Emperor Menelik II.

1889 - Menelik signs a bilateral friendship treaty with Italy at Wuchale which Italy interprets as giving it a protectorate over Ethiopia. Ethiopia rejects this interpretation, later renounces the treaty and repays a loan.

1889 - Addis Ababa becomes Ethiopia's capital.

Italy invades

1895 - Italy invades Ethiopia.

1896 - Italian forces defeated by the Ethiopians at Adwa; treaty of Wuchale annulled; Italy recognises Ethiopia's independence but retains control over Eritrea.

HAILE SELASSIE

Emperor of Ethiopia and god to the Rastafarian movement
Born in 1892
Became king in 1928, emperor in 1930
Died in 1975

2005: Last emperor
2000: Funeral in pictures
1913 - Menelik dies and is succeeded by his grandson, Lij Iyasu.

1916 - Lij Iyasu deposed and is succeeded by Menelik's daughter, Zawditu, who rules through a regent, Ras Tafari Makonnen.

1930 - Zawditu dies and is succeeded by Ras Tafari Makonnen, who becomes Emperor Haile Selassie I.

1935 - Italy invades Ethiopia.

1936 - Italians capture Addis Ababa, Haile Selassie flees, king of Italy made emperor of Ethiopia; Ethiopia combined with Eritrea and Italian Somaliland to become Italian East Africa.

Haile Selassie's reign

1941 - British and Commonwealth troops, greatly aided by the Ethiopian resistance - the arbegnoch - defeat the Italians, and restore Haile Selassie to his throne.

1952 - United Nations federates Eritrea with Ethiopia.

1962 - Haile Selassie annexes Eritrea, which becomes an Ethiopian province.

1963 - First conference of the Organisation of African Unity held in Addis Ababa.

"Red Terror"

MENGISTU HAILE MARIAM

Thousands were killed under Marxist dictator's "Red Terror"
Born in 1937
Head of state 1974-91
Exiled in Zimbabwe
2006: Convicted, in absentia, of genocide

2003: Red Terror 'hard to forgive'
2006: Mengistu guilty of genocide
1973-74 - An estimated 200,000 people die in Wallo province as a result of famine.

1974 - Haile Selassie overthrown in military coup. General Teferi Benti becomes head of state.

1975 - Haile Selassie dies in mysterious circumstances while in custody.

1977 - Benti killed and replaced by Colonel Mengistu Haile Mariam.

1977-79 - Thousands of government opponents die in "Red Terror" orchestrated by Mengistu; collectivisation of agriculture begins; Tigrayan People's Liberation Front launches war for regional autonomy.

1977 - Somalia invades Ethiopia's Ogaden region.

1978 - Somali forces defeated with massive help from the Soviet Union and Cuba.

1984-85 FAMINE

Almost one million people died after crops failed

On This Day 1984: Europe grants emergency aid
1984-85 - Worst famine in a decade strikes; Western food aid sent; thousands forcibly resettled from Eritrea and Tigre.

1987 - Mengistu elected president under a new constitution.

1988 - Ethiopia and Somalia sign a peace treaty.

After Mengistu

1991 - Ethiopian People's Revolutionary Democratic Front captures Addis Ababa, forcing Mengistu to flee the country; Eritrea establishes its own provisional government pending a referendum on independence.

Mengistu fled after failing to stop rebel advance in 1991
1992 - Haile Selassie's remains discovered under a palace toilet.

1993 - Eritrea becomes independent following referendum.

1994 - New constitution divides Ethiopia into ethnically-based regions.

1995 - Negasso Gidada becomes titular president; Meles Zenawi assumes post of prime minister.

1998 - Ethiopian-Eritrean border dispute erupts into armed clashes.

War with Eritrea

1999 - Ethiopian- Eritrean border clashes turn into a full-scale war.

2000 June - Ethiopia and Eritrea sign a ceasefire agreement which provides for a UN observer force to monitor the truce and supervise the withdrawal of Ethiopian troops from Eritrean territory.

2000 November - Haile Selassie buried in Addis Ababa's Trinity Cathedral.

2000 December - Ethiopia and Eritrea sign a peace agreement in Algeria, ending two years of conflict. The agreement establishes commissions to delineate the disputed border and provides for the exchange of prisoners and the return of displaced people.

WAR WITH ERITREA

Tens of thousands perished in a conflict over disputed borders

Q&A: Horn's bitter border war
2001 24 February - Ethiopia says it has completed its troop withdrawal from Eritrea in accordance with UN-sponsored agreement.

2002 April - Ethiopia, Eritrea accept a new common border, drawn up by an independent commission, though both sides then lay claim to the town of Badme.

2003 April - Independent boundary commission rules that the disputed town of Badme lies in Eritrea. Ethiopia says the ruling is unacceptable.

2004 January-February - Nearly 200 killed in ethnic clashes in isolated western region of Gambella. Tens of thousands flee area.

2004 March - Start of resettlement programme to move more than two million people away from parched, over-worked highlands.

2004 November - Ethiopia says it accepts "in priniciple" a boundary commission's ruling on its border with Eritrea. But a protracted stalemate over the disputed town of Badme continues.

2005 March - US-based Human Rights Watch accuses army of "widespread murder, rape and torture" against Gambella region's ethnic Anuak people. Military angrily rejects charge.

2005 April - First section of Axum obelisk, looted by Italy in 1937, is returned to Ethiopia from Rome.

Disputed poll

2005 May - Third multi-party elections: Protests over alleged fraud precipitate violent protests in which around 40 people are shot dead.

2005 August-September - Election re-runs in more than 30 seats: Officials say the ruling party gains enough seats to form a government.

Many were killed in post-election protests in 2005

2006: Report says Ethiopian protesters 'massacred'
2005: High stakes in stand-off
2005 November - 46 protesters die in fresh clashes over May's elections. Thousands of people, including opposition politicians and newspaper editors, are detained.

2005 December - International commission, based in The Hague, rules that Eritrea broke international law when it attacked Ethiopia in 1998.

More than 80 people, including journalists and many opposition leaders, are charged with treason and genocide over November's deadly clashes.

2006 May - Six political parties and armed groups form an opposition alliance, the Alliance for Freedom and Democracy, at a meeting in the Netherlands.

Several bomb blasts hit Addis Ababa. No organisation claims responsibility.

2006 August - Several hundred people are feared to have died and thousands are left homeless as floods hits the north, south and east.

Somalia tensions

2006 September - Ethiopia denies that its troops have crossed into Somalia to support the transitional government in Baidoa.

2006 October - UN Secretary General Kofi Annan urges Eritrea to pull back the troops it has moved into the buffer zone on the Ethiopian border. The UN says the incursion is a major ceasefire violation.

CAMPAIGN IN SOMALIA

Ethiopian forces helped to oust Somalia's Islamists

Timeline: Ethiopia and Somalia
War of words between Ethiopia and Islamists controlling much of Somalia. Prime Minister Meles says Ethiopia was "technically" at war with the Islamists because they had declared holy war on his country.

2006 November - UN report says several countries - including Ethiopia - have been violating a 1992 arms embargo on Somalia by supplying arms to the interim government there. Ethiopia's arch enemy Eritrea is accused of supplying the rival Islamist administration.

Ethiopia and Eritrea reject a proposal put forward by an independent boundary commission as a way around a four-year impasse over the demarcation of their shared border.

Mengistu trial

2006 December - Exiled former dictator Mengistu Haile Mariam is convicted, in absentia, of genocide at the end of a 12-year trial. In January 2007 he is sentenced to life in prison.

Ethiopia confirms it is battling Islamic militia in Somalia. In fierce fighting, Ethiopian aircraft, tanks and artillery support forces of the Somali transitional government. The Islamists are routed.

2007 February - Around 50,000 Somalis have crossed into Ethiopia in the past six months to flee instability at home, the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) reports.

2007

March - A group of British embassy workers and their Ethiopian guides are kidnapped in the northern Afar region bordering on Eritrea. They are eventually released in Eritrea.

2007 April - Gunmen attack a Chinese-owned oil facility in the south-east Somali region, killing 74 people working there.

2007 June - Opposition leaders are given life sentences over mass protests that followed elections in 2005, but are later pardoned.

2007 September - Ethiopia celebrates the start of a new millennium according to the calendar of the Coptic Orthodox Church.

War could resume between Ethiopia and Eritrea over their border conflict, warns United Nations special envoy to the Horn of Africa, Kjell Bondevik.

2007 November - Ethiopia rejects border line demarcated by international boundary commission. Eritrea accepts it.

2008 May - Ethiopia's Supreme Court sentences former ruler Mengistu Haile Mariam - in absentia - to death.

2008 June - Peace agreement signed between Somali government and rebels provides for withdrawal of Ethiopian troops within 120 days.

2008 July - UN Security Council votes unanimously to end UN peacekeeping mission monitoring disputed border between Ethiopia and Eritrea.

2008 September - Celebrations held to mark completion of reassembly of 1700-year-old Axum Obelisk, looted in 1937 during the Italian conquest and returned by Italy in three parts after 2005.

2008 December - Police re-arrest key opposition leader Birtukan Medeksa, who was jailed for her role in the opposition protests after the 2005 polls, and freed under a government pardon in 2007.

Somalia pullout

2009 January - Parliament passes bill banning foreign agencies from work related to human rights or conflict resolution, as well as severely restricting foreign funding for local agencies, in move seen as effort to clamp down on unwanted foreign interference.

Ethiopia completes withdrawal of all its forces from Somalia.

The term "Ethiopia" origins

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:06:00 +0000

Last night as I was reading my history of Ethiopia book I read an interesting tidbit...

Ethiopia comes from a Greek term that means "burnt faces" and was once used to describe all of Africa. Over time it came to describe what is presently known as Ethiopia.

Ethiopia Program update from adoption agency

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:29:00 +0000

This information about the CHSFS Ethiopia Program is current as of June 19, 09:

2009 Placements:
110 children into 102 families
(including 8 waiting children into 7 families)

Children Referred:
92 children to 76 families

Children Waiting (WIC):
6 children

Families Waiting: 381

....those whose dossier was accepted in May just received referrals. Ours was accepted in August.

Ethiopian recipes

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:54:00 +0000

So the hubby made a delicious dish last night that was curryish, with chicken, onions and boiled eggs. I thought it was great. We have decided to make a different Ethiopian dish at least once a week. So I am searching for different websites with recipes. Here are a two that may be helpful:

Ethiopia - Meal from African studies at UPENN
Ethiopiarecipes.net - the injera is under the pancake sections great website with some terms, pictures, names of wines etc.

Our growing bookself

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:45:00 +0000

Here is a list of what is on our growing bookshelf for adoption related resources. As Mike and I read them, we will post reviews. If you have read them or have other suggestions- please comment - we love hearing from you!

Adoption/Multiracial Adoption:
I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla - Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious world, Marguerite A. Wright

Black Baby White Hands - A view from the crib, Jaiya John

Outsiders Within, Writing on Transracial Adoption, Edited by Jane Jeong Trenka, Julia Chinyere Oparah and Sun Yung Shin

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge

LifeBooks - Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child, Beth O'Malley

In Their Parent' Voices - Reflections on Raising Transracial Adoptees, Rita J. Simon & Rhonda M. Roorda

There is no me without you - One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Her Country's Children, Melissa Fay Greene

Adoption Parenting - Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections, Jean Macleod & Sheena Macrae

Parenting:
Complete Baby & Childcare - Everything you need to know for the first five years, Dr. Miriam Stoppard

New Traditions - Redefining Celebrations for Today's Family, Susan Abel Lieberman

The Everything Toddler Activities Book - Games and Projects that entertain and Educate, Joni Levine

Love & Logic - More Ideas about Parenting with Less Stress, Jim Fay, Charles Fay & Foster Cline

Love & Logic - Taking the Stress Out of Raising Great Kids, Jim Fay, Charles Fay & Foster Cline

Love & Logic - Discipline with Love and Logic, Jim Fay, Charles Fay & Foster Cline

Love & Logic - Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants, Jim Fay, Charles Fay & Foster Cline

Love & Logic - From Innocence to Entitlement, Jim Fay, Charles Fay & Foster Cline

Parenting with Love & Logic, Foster Cline and Jim Fay

Raising Baby Green, Dr. Alan Greene

DVD - Where do the Children Play?

Baby Bargains, Denise & Alan Fields

Children's Books on Adoption:
Sesame Street - We're Different, We're the Same and We're All Wonderful - Random House

Black is Brown is Tan, Arnold Adoff

Who Are My Real Parents?, D.L. Fuller

Global Babies, Global Fund for Children

Rosie's Family - An Adoption Story, Lori Rosove

Children's Stories from or about Ethiopia:
The Perfect Orange - A tale from Ethiopia, Frank P. Araujo

Fire on the Mountain - Jane Kurtz

A Saint and His Lion - The Story of Tekla of Ethiopia, Elaine Murray Stone

Water Hole Waiting, Jane Kurtz and Christoper Kurtz

Books, Music & Resources about/from Africa
Held at a Distance - My rediscovery of Ethiopia, Rebecca Haile

CD - African Lullaby - Ellipsis Arts

CD - African Dreams - Lullabies and Cradle Songs from the Motherland - Ellipsis Arts

CD - The Life of Childhood - Amharic Kids Songs, Hiwot Mamo

Magazine - Adoptive Families

http://www.abshirokids.com/

DVD - Amharic the EZ Way http://www.amharic.com/

DVD - The Amharic Language Multimedia Series http://www.amharic.com/

Ethiopia The Unknown Land - A Cultural and Historical Guide, Stuart Munro-Hay

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Here is an interesting video I found from an old post on another blog. This is the author of a book on my "to read" list - There is no me without you... I own it but haven't read it yet.

She speaks to the enormity of the orphan issue in Africa - but more directly to the needed solutions. But as is often the case, having talked at length with people who have worked in African nations - it isn't that easy. It isn't just about rich nations giving the poorer nations a fair wage, which is important. It isn't just about the drug companies giving the African countries full access to HIV medicines, which is crucial.

There is more complexity to these issues. There are centuries old customs, beliefs and norms that also make it hard for some nations to progress in their medical care and improvements in infrastructure. There are underlying prejudices against differing groups within countries that make working together for the betterment of the country difficult. Even in Ethiopia, the land of beautiful scenery and ever smiling and pleasant people - these issues exist. We want to idealize a nation or blame another nation for not doing more...but the truth is some weaving of the two.

My question...that I usually just ask myself, so what can I do? If the issue is so complex, so ingrained and so pervasive - what can I do? No answer to share yet. Right now I am educating myself about the issues, I am committing to knowing the full history of Ethiopia and Africa to share with our family, I am giving of my time and money to organizations that I feel are making an impact on the ground level. I am doing something...rather than just shake my head and say it is too much or it is too far away. As one famous person said..."baby steps to the door."

June 29, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:24:00 +0000

I still have a grin on my face. Thank you, darling, for telling the world!

Wednesday night, I am cooking Doro Alicea, a traditional Ethiopian dish. Most Ethiopian food is very spicy, which does not work for my wonderful wife’s digestive system. Doro Alicea is a chicken dish with onions, spiced butter and eggs. Should be fun. I look forward to telling you all how it turns out.

One of the things I was most interested in talking with other families about this weekend was their experience while in Ethiopia. We have a lot to prepare for. Obviously having a baby at home will be incredible, but the two weeks or so we will be in country will be an amazing experience. Everything from the air quality, the poverty, the amazing people, being in a country where we will be almost certainly the only white people to the great coffee they have in the guest house was great to hear and will be great to experience.

The kids were so beautiful. Every one of them was just amazing. They were for the most part all happy and well adjusted. It was hard to leave, and not just because we had a five-hour drive to get home.

I have finally started reading baby books. It is all very interesting. I had no idea that it was recommended that mothers breast feed their babies for at least a year. You have to give your baby “tummy time” because if you don’t their heads may form in an abnormal shape since they sleep exclusively on their backs. There are so many more things I am learning about this. Eventually I will get around to the biggest question we have...circumcision.

Until next week, I love you all very much.

Adoption thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:38:00 +0000

Here is a looong...but important post by a fellow, no longer active blogger Swerl. I think it is thoughtful and well worth the read...what do you think about what she has to say?

What I Think I Know about Adoption

"Family Expansion" is the favored term within the adoption community for the desire to add children to your family. The desire for family expansion through the process of adoption (as apposed to pregnancy, surrogacy, etc.) has as many motivating factors as there are adoptive families.

A few include:

Infertility
A desire for a child of a specific gender
A religious conviction to adopt
A desire for siblings for children already in the family
A desire for a child without the risk of pregnancy and childbirth

Family expansion can refer to a single parent or a couple, gay or straight, with biological children, previously adopted children or no previous children at all.

Self-interest is at the core of family expansion. You are adding a child because you feel it is a benefit FOR YOUR FAMILY.

Another motivation can impact the thinking of family expansion through adoption: that of "saving" a child. This is especially true in cases of INTERNATIONAL adoption. One should be careful in the examination of one's motivations and intellectual honesty before ascribing too much weight to this reason for adopting.

Consider:

1. If the money you spent on an adoption was diverted to food aid, etc., more children could be helped.
2. If all the money you would spend RAISING a child (including college tuition, etc.) were devoted to sponsoring children, more good would be done for children.
3. In "saving" a child, you are also "robbing" the child of an indigenous culture, language and extended family.
4. Some allege that -- especially in the case of infants -- it is the DEMAND for babies which is driving the supply. This dynamic can easily lead to unethical practices, including "buying" babies (agents of adoption paying money to the families of those who offer children for adoption), stealing babies or unduly pressuring mothers to surrender their children for adoption.
5. International adoption can help restrictive governments uphold bad policies and prevent the development of forward thinking policies regarding family planning, reproductive rights, women's rights and child welfare. Adoption helps China from modifying its "One Child" policy, for example. Korea continues to marginalize single mothers, using international adoption as an outlet for these "shameful" children. Other countries allow their brutalized poor to turn to adoption, rather than make efforts to keep birth families intact.
6. Many of the children "saved" are the easiest to place, while the most traumatized, older children, the children more likely to have lost both of their parents, for example, are nearly impossible to be placed.

Still, the idea of "saving" a child is a powerful notion. Before you even adopt, many may commend you for being "bighearted" or "generous", when, in fact, you are being self-motivated (not in a bad way, you simply want a child!)

How to answer this "commendation" from family and friends is often one of the first schisms between how those deep within the adoption culture views things, compared to those outside of this culture. Some people get angry. Some simply say if told that their child will be "lucky"; "No, we're the lucky ones."

Being consciously self-motivated is probably a healthy outlook. Adoption parenting is not easy, and you will probably be more engaged over the long-haul if adoption is something you are doing for your own gratification than out of a sense of charity. There are other ways not buying into this pattern of thought will make you a better parent. Traumatized adult adoptees are quite forthcoming about the damage it does, hearing things like, "If it wasn't for us, you'd be starving... a child prostitute... a drug addict... dead." Usually, these comments are made in the throes of a massive fight, probably when the adopted child was a teen... and richly deserved getting scolded. Still, without the pernicious notion that the child was "saved", such comments wouldn't roll off the tongue so easily in heated situations.

Thinking critically about what adopted child would fit best in your family (even if the family is just a single would-be parent) will help make the best "fit", and give the family the best opportunity for happiness for all involved.

A few things to consider about the child:

1. Country of origin
2. Gender
3. Age
4. Race
5. Religion

Are you interested in a sibling group?
A child with special needs?

Again, it's good to be honest, because to be a positive influence on your adopted child, you will need to embrace all aspects of that child's history and do your utmost to instill pride in your child. So, if you don't like Chinese culture, or if you are uncomfortable around black people, for two examples, you need to be self-aware enough to face these facts and plan your family's expansion accordingly. A far worse crime than admitting these predispositions is adopting children of a different racial, national or cultural background, then, out of discomfort or disinterest, failing to help you child connect with these crucial aspects of his or her identity.

Such failures only bear their bitter fruit as the child matures and feels alienated from those who look like him or her, or, even worse, has internalized a sense of anger or hatred towards himself for being "different". As adult adoptees attempt to fill in these blanks themselves, they can grow resentful towards their adoptive parents. Adoptive parents can feel threatened by the aggressive exploration of this denied identity, and relationships can become strained.

ETHICAL ADOPTIONS

Another important consideration is to ensure that your adoption is ethical.

Some countries, including the United States, Canada, Australia and most European countries have joined such countries as China, India, Colombia, Philippines, Mexico, Poland, Thailand, Brazil and Moldova have joined the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-country Adoption is an international treaty that seeks to prevent corruption in the adoption process for signatory countries by:

1) Ensuring that inter-country adoptions take place in the best interests of children; and
2) Preventing the abduction, exploitation, sale, or trafficking of children.

As a result, all of the adoption agencies within the United States are regulated according to these standards. In a perfect world, this means that even when adoptions occur from non-signatory countries, such as South Korea, Kazakhstan, Ethiopia or Russia, these programs are held to the same high standard as adoptions between signatory countries.

Unfortunately, being a signatory country does not guarantee that the goals stated above are met. Such was the case with the Guatemala program. Currently, although Guatemala is a signatory country, their program showed many signs of problems and abuses. Currently, many countries have suspended adoptions from Guatemala. The United States is proceeding on a case-by-case basis, with strict oversight.

Guatemala has failed to regulate notaries processing adoption or the foster care that occurs between relinquishment and adoption. As a result, some foster care allowed for the physical abuse of kids. The conflicts of interest that existed (and still exits) for notaries dealing directly with relinquishing families and adoptive families created an environment ripe for pay-offs, bribes, baby buying and even baby stealing. The situation has gotten so bad the United States government now demands a DNA match between supposed birthmothers and the children they are relinquishing, due to the "numerous cases in which impostors who were not the children's actual birth mothers attempted to relinquish rights to children who were not theirs."

Imagine finding out, or even SUSPECTING that your child was STOLEN from his or her mother's arms? Such horror is a reason why EVERYONE involved in adoption must go to superhuman efforts to make sure that all adoptions remain legal, all processes remain transparent and all actions are taken for the benefit of the children.
A good agency in the US does not guarantee a "clean" adoption.

The US State Dept. advises:

"Even if a U.S. adoption agency has an unblemished record with such offices, however, and even if the agency itself is operating completely with the best intentions, the lack of oversight and regulation over the other actors in the Guatemalan adoption process make it extremely difficult for even the most ethical agency to be completely certain that everything has been done in accordance with the law and in the best interests of all the parties."

Of course, it is easy to substitute ANY country for "Guatemala", which means that ANY international adoption program has the potential for the kind of corruption that trades paltry amounts of money for the devastation and abuse of children.

Another option for many countries is PRIVATE ADOPTION, in which you hire an attorney or other advocate in a country to directly pursue an adoption through that nation's courts. I don't know much about this process, but would love to find out more from those who've gone this route.

I'd like to end this post with a question -- how, as waiting adoptive parents, do you ensure ethical adoptions the world over?

Next, I plan to discuss first families, poverty and adoption.

Posted by Swerl

Making connections

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:50:00 +0000

Yesterday Mike and I traveled to Seattle to meet with about 20 other families in Washington that had adopted or were in process of adopting from Ethiopia. What an amazing experience.

We weren't too excited to get up at the crack of dawn and drive over for the 1pm potluck (Saturday night tickets to Pink Martini - which was beyond fantastic - kept us in town the evening before) but we woke up at 6am on Sunday, walked the dogs, packed some light snacks and headed west. We listened to an old Dick Francis book which kept us occupied and the 5 hour drive zipped by.

The best part was the people and the children. We met around 10 or 15 kids who had been adopted. I kid you not...every single one of them...beautiful. The adults were all fabulous too. One couple had just returned from Ethiopia 2 weeks ago, another 2 years ago and was in process again. We listened to stories of travel, descriptions of the Addis Ababa (capital of Ethiopia), ratings of local hotels, hints on where to find the best pint, how to deal with daily power outages and where to find free wifi. We asked questions about the children's' health issues, their attachment once home, caring for their skin and hair, finding a good barber, weight gain/lose when leaving the orphanage and so many other just silly little questions we had been dying to ask someone.

The best part for me was watching Mike. He sat at the kids table making playdough snakes with a little girl. He chased plastic eggs another little cutie was throwing. Mostly, as his style...he watched and absorbed. But the whole time he had this huge grin on his face and he wouldn't stop hugging me!!

It really did re-affirm our decision with adoption, with Ethiopia and with our agency CHSFS. We heard about how respected this agency is in Ethiopia, how much they give back to the community and just what a class act from start to finish.

I think today we are both dragging a bit, Xedo our puppy, had an early morning barkfest which hasn't helped. But the trip was so worth it. Thank you to Kimberly and Susi for organizing and thank you to all the families who attended for opening up about your experiences - we are so grateful.

Don't faint

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:13:00 +0000

Yes...I am writing a blog post. It has been a long time...embarrassingly long time. But please understand 1. we have no excuse and 2. sometimes it is easier to not think about the long long wait for our baby or babies. Our homestudy has expired it has been so long. We can't find our social worker at the moment and I have turned to facebook and google to hunt her down. Ah technology.

Okay this is just a warm up, a tickler if you will, back into the blogging world. I'm worm out from my first paragraph. Need to pace myself. Didn't hurt too much though. More to come...

7 things about myself

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:22:00 +0000

So I was recently tagged by a fellow Ethiopian Adoption blogger Rana to share 7 things about myself. You ready?

1. I'm a band geek who never went to band camp (do you know the movie reference?) I love gadgets, could care less about most fashion trends (unless they make me look good) and say goofy things...often.

2. One of the favorite parts of my work days, in the home office, is when my dog Bella snuggles up under my desk, I tuck my toes under her like a furry pair of slippers, and she snores like a drunken sailor. I especially love when she chases squirrels in her dreams and her paws start moving. I usually cheer her on...but sometimes I root for the squirrel.

3. I think I am more observant than most. I can drive by a tree and notice it's color, shape, texture, movement, shade production and how the sun filters through it. I do the same thing with families I see...I notice a father and son for an instant as I drive by and depict what their interaction is, what the emotions where, how old they were etc.

4. I still struggle with thinking that reading a book is the same as listening to a book...shhhh don't tell me husband.

5. I try to do my best at EVERYTHING I do...whether it be my job or putting away clean glasses in the cupboard (organized for easy use of course) But sometimes I think it is a curse because I expect others to do their best at everything they do...even small things and get dissapointed when they don't, which isn't always warranted.

6. My weirdest 2 jobs were dressing up in a Fred Flintsone costume to sell potato chips at a grocery store and working on a call campaign to try and block California from initiating a public spaces smoking ban - when I have never smoked a cigarrette in my life. Funny enough they were both odd jobs through my uncle Ira.

7. My favorite things about my husband are his eyes, his legs, his hair, how sweet he is when I inevitably wake him up with my cold feet in the middle of the night, how much he loves our dog Bella, the way his hair looks when he first wakes up in the morning, that he lets me be me, how excited he gets when he is watching sports, that he views spending time on our relationship as important as spending time on hockey, how proud he gets of himself when he cooks something good, how he comes into my office and does a little dance...often...even though I roll my eyes and tell him to go away, that he understand my need to do my best at all times and doesn't crack when I push him to do the same, his crazy humor...most of the time, and finally the prospect of being a family, of raising children, of seeing him roll around on the floor with them, play ball with them, coach them, take 16 zillion pictures of them, help them with their homework, cook dinner with them and at the end of the day kiss them good night and tuck them into bed.

Adoption Do's and Don'ts

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:20:00 +0000

Here is a post I snagged from another fellow Ethiopian adoption blogger that I think warrants reprinting and personalizing for us. We understand that people don't "mean" anything bad by saying these things. We will love you anyway. But a bit of understanding around how these comments are perceived may help everyone.

WHAT NOT TO SAY

"You are such a great person for rescuing a child"
While most think this is a complement - which everybody loves - this one is undeserved. We are not saving a child. They are a gift for us. They have been torn from their home, family, country, language, culture and history. Who knows what trauma they may have suffered. Most important they didn't choose for this to happen. Children deserve loving homes. We are not better people because we want them as our children - we want a family and this is the route we have chosen. We certainly don't expect any gratitude from them - especially in their teenage years! If we were truly rescuing a child or altruistic in anyway we would donate all our money to orphanages or dedicate our life's work to reducing poverty and HIV in Ethiopia so that these children could grow up with their birth families.

"Why not adopt from Russia (or China - Domestic)"
We did a tremendous amount of research on international and domestic adoption. We have made our decision and we ask that you respect it. Providing stories of people who have adopted domestically and received beautiful babies within weeks of applying and sharing the latest way we could get pregnant and have real kids - implies that you don't respect our decision. Along the same lines we don't want kids that can "pass" as our own. This isn't about projecting the image that we have a "normal" family. Adoption is normal. Looking the same is not what makes a family strong or a home full of love.

"Now that you are adopting you will get pregnant"
This has no scientific basis. The rates of pregnancy are no different for women who adopt or who don't adopt. Women feel this implies that the reason they couldn't get pregnant was psychological or stress related, is that what you mean? It also implies that adoption is the 2nd best option - if you can't get pregnant. Many people, like us, just don't agree. Adoption is another way to build a family. Some even feel it is a better way to build a family.

"He is adopted"
No...he was adopted. Do we need to always qualify how he became a part of our family? Now he is our son...not adopted son.

"You will be like Angelina Jolie"
Well in the looks department - you are right, Breelyn is a dead ringer for Angelina. But the similarities stop there. We did not make a major life decision based on a celebrity trend. Are women who get pregnant like Britney Spears? Of course not. Celebrity adoptions make good news but really have nothing to do with us.

"What happened to his real mother?"
Once our child is adopted, we are his real parent - in the eyes of the law, any higher power, and hopefully you. His birth family will always be a part of his identity. We want him to grow up being able to speak freely about his adoption and birth parents - we will work hard to foster this. But make no mistake - we are his real parents. We are committed to being keepers of his history and when he is ready he can share it as he sees fit.

"She has 2 grandchildren and 1 adopted grandson"
While we are quite sure our parents will correct you on this one immediately - just for the record "she has 3 grandchildren." Pointing out that a child is adopted will just make it seem like they are somehow less related or an add-on part of the family.

WHAT TO SAY

Do ask questions about the process, about our excitement/fear and about our preparation as new parents.

Do celebrate the joy our child will bring to our family and community.

Do speak positively about our child's culture and heritage.

Do share you worry and concern in an honest, heartfelt way that doesn't question our decisions.

Do treat us like you would treat any other expectant parents. We are incredibly excited. But do understand that we struggle with the waiting and uncertainty of when we will get our referral. Sometimes we may not show our excitement as much because of that. But it is there!!

"Our Own"

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:37:00 +0000

I was just reading an article about national adoption day. People were leaving their thoughts on the article and I was amazed at how many people were commenting on families adopting "other" children. How there are so many American children to adopt and we should take care of "our own" before caring about other countries kids. People chastising couples/families for international adoption. I get so angry about the ignorance on this topic and the xenophobia.

As I mentioned in an earlier entry, this has been one of the most frustrating questions we get from well-wishers "haven't you considered domestic adoption?" The sarcastic side of me wants to say "gosh, we never thought of that, thanks for such a great suggestion. In all of our struggles, discussions, research, meetings with social workers, meetings with adoption agencies, meetings with doctors, on our journey to having a family - we plum forgot to look at that option!" But what always comes out instead is "yes, we did look at that option, but it wasn't right for us." Then what comes next is usually some version of a story about someone they know who signed up for domestic adoption and within 3 weeks had a newborn (Caucasian) at home and how they lived happily ever after.

Ugghhh. Okay the reality is that does happen on rare occasions -usually through a church or some type of connection to the birthmother, but more often in domestic adoption people go onto long lists of waiting families. They write passionate letters to birth mothers hoping they will pick them. Then begins the long legal court battle with story after story of birth parents coming back for their children or other relatives fighting for custody even after the adopted parents have cared for the baby for months. What also turned us off here in the states was that different babies cost different amounts - white baby girls are the highest in demand and the most expensive, black baby boys are the least in demand and the least expensive. Isn't that sick, sick, sick. This doesn't take into account the higher proportion of alcohol and drug exposed babies in the U.S. Frustrated with the lack of domestic adoptions - criticize the system and domestic policies - not those adopting.

As first time parents we felt it was better to go the international route - for the most part it is more dependable and predictable, although it is of course not without it's unexpected hurdles. A child is a child to us. We take the responsibility of honoring our future child's country of origin very seriously - but they will be no less an American then a child born here and they will be no less our child then one we could have adopted domestically.

I guess these are the opportunies for growth that we are given. The times when life allows us another chance to be kind when we want to scream, to smile when we want to scowl, to breathe deep and pause instead of quickly answering to make a point. In fact I think I will go do some deep breathing now...

NY times adoption story

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:02:00 +0000

Here is a fun story I forgot to post earlier this summer...

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/us/20070603_ADOPT_FEATURE/index.html

Junkposse

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:11:00 +0000

As I was reading one of my favorite Ethiopian adoption blogs. I came across these cool handmade necklaces. They have them for different common adoption countries. The proceeds for the Africa ones go to help a family that is adopting from Ethiopia. Check out the pics.

I am struggling a little lately. It is so fun watching my friends get pregnant and have babies - I am so happy for them. But I am wishing the experience could begin for us. The wait is beginning to drag and it is just starting. I am not a patient person - Mike can verify that! For something like this...to be a "mommy" it is even worse.

For now, maybe I can get a necklace, keep it close and remind me of the joys (and challenges) to come.

Our new president...random thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:02:00 +0000

Well now that the craziness of the election has died down, I can finally reflect on what this means for us as future parents of black children (I'm rooting for 2 these days). I spent election night in a hotel room...working till after the announcement was made. I did catch Obama's speech live. I think it was one of the most amazing speeches I have every seen.

The next morning as I ran to catch my plane, I grabbed the USA today with the huge headline "Obama Wins" - I figure we will frame it. Everyone seems so taken by the historic moment that an African American was finally elected president. I don't disagree - I do get a little tired of the discussion around race. In my opinion he was hands down the best candidate. I want to understand the impact this has on blacks here in America and around the world, but I also feel that at times it is as if all the attention is saying he was elected in spite of his race - which was just not a factor for me. Will he forever be referred to as the first African American president of America or will he someday be referred to as just B. Obama president. Will we move beyond race when discussing his presidency?

I don't think we can stop talking about race. Racism is not dead in this country. I just feel that there is a point when it needs to stop being the center of conversation in relation to our next president.

As a parent, I'm sure I will be acutely aware of racial comments and inequalities - real and imagined, subtle or overt. That will be part of our role in raising healthy, emotionally strong and self assured black children. But the challenge is the fine line or gray line between being defined by something and being informed about something. Maybe I am naive at this point and need a better understanding of the struggles our children will face. I have read the books and developed our plans - but in my heart still feel it is more about who you are at the core of your being than the color of your skin. We plan on informing our child (children) about Ethiopian history, African history, slavery and civil rights here in the US. I guess I want our children to understand the history and the legacy it leaves, but I don't want them to be defined by it - even if others will expect them to be. Then again maybe that is unhealthy to want that. Maybe that shows a lack of true understanding on my part about the struggles our children will face in developing their own identities.

For now, I am happy about the election results. I am happy about this historic moment. Most of all I am happy that for once we can look forward to 4 years of strong leadership by an intelligent, thoughtful and inspiring president.

New Resources for Adopted Ethiopian Children

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 02:28:00 +0000

In our newsletter from the adoption agency we are using, I am constantly amazed by the informaiton they provide. I thought we had already found and bought all the books for Ethiopian children. Boy was I excited to see all these great new products. Check these out...

Zufan and the Flower Zufan and the Flower is written in Amharic, English, French & Spanish to teach kids lessons of family love and that running from problems only makes things worse. As an added benefit, this book helps introduce children to new languages.

AbshiroKids Feedel Poster - Ethiopian Alphabet Poster Alphabets are fundamental in learning any language and a proven method to Connect Our Kids to their heritage and culture.

AbshiroKids Activity Placemat– Let's Learn Amharic Colorful and packed with activities on both side to teach your kids Amharic, while having fun - an entertaining way to Connect Our Kids to their heritage and culture

Kaldi and the Dancing Goats – The Legend of Ethiopian Coffee Wonderfully written and full-color illustrated kids' story on how coffee was fist discovered in Ethiopia, and how it spread far and beyond Ethiopia, all around the world.

The Life of Childhood™This wonderful CD/Songbook Combo is a collection of 26 Ethiopian Children's Songs that you will discover to be an excellent way to expose your kids to the Amharic language, while entertaining them.

Tsehai Loves Learning - Selam Tsehai Puppet and animated, early childhood education DVD series presented entirely in Amharic with English subtitle .

HIV positive adoption in Ethiopia

noreply@blogger.com (Breelyn and Mike) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:54:00 +0000

Here is an interesting story about the growing trend of adopting HIV positive children. When we travel to Ethiopia I hope to visit and bring supplies to the HIV positive orphanage in Addis Ababa.

Americans adopting HIV-positive kids from Ethiopia
By ANITA POWELL – Sep 1, 2008

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia (AP) — Solomon Henderson inherited just three things from his birth parents, who left him at an Ethiopian orphanage when he was 1 year old: a picture of Jesus, a plastic crucifix and HIV.

As one of some 14,000 Ethiopian children born with the virus every year, Solomon's prospects for survival — much less adoption — were grim. But Erin Henderson's heart stirred when she saw him, and she decided, on the spot, to adopt him.

"They told me that they weren't sure he would live through the weekend," Henderson said by e-mail from her home in rural Wyoming, where she lives with her husband and 11 children, two of whom are HIV-positive adoptees from Ethiopia.

Solomon, now an active 2-year-old with chubby cheeks and a shy smile, is part of a small but growing movement: Americans adopting HIV-positive children from abroad.

Figures from U.S.-based Adoption Advocates International, the agency that arranges the majority of HIV-positive adoptions in Ethiopia, show a clear and steady rise, from two such adoptions in 2005, four in 2006, 13 in 2007, and 38 either completed or pending this year.
The U.S. Embassy corroborates the trend, although its numbers are slightly different because it counts adoptions according to fiscal year. So far this year, the embassy said, Americans have adopted 25 HIV-positive children from Ethiopia, up from seven the year before.

Ethiopia is at the forefront of the trend, in part because it is a well-established adoption hub. But countries including China, Ghana, Haiti and Russia also have seen increases, although the numbers remain small — fewer than five children in each country this year, according to U.S. adoption agencies that work with HIV-positive children. The figures could be higher, however, as many nations do not ask if a departing child has HIV.

The motivations are wide-ranging — some parents say they were driven by religion or a desire for social change, or that the disease is more manageable than ever before. Others, like Julie Hehn, gave more personal reasons.

"I was just scrolling through these pictures, and I saw the photo of Tsegenet, and I said, 'Oh my God, that's my daughter,'" said Hehn, a 53-year-old elementary school teacher from Edmonds, Wash.

Hehn said she was not looking for an HIV-positive child when she decided to adopt from Ethiopia.

"I fell in love with Tsegenet and it just happens she's HIV-positive," said Hehn, who has 27 children, 19 of them adopted from Ethiopia and five adopted from the U.S.
At a recent goodbye party at an orphanage in Addis Ababa, a 9-year-old girl who was heading to the United States with her adoptive family gave a shy smile as her friends ate doughnuts and sang farewell songs.

The children — all of whom have HIV or AIDS and are looking for new families — belted out an Ethiopian hymn called "No one is ashamed of you."

Ethiopian adoptions to the United States peaked at 1,255 in 2007, and the adoption of HIV-positive children is growing in step, according to U.S. government figures. American adoptions in Ethiopia have steadily risen from 135 in 2003, to 289 in 2004 to 440 in 2005 to 731 in 2006.
So far, none of the children adopted through Adoption Advocates International in Ethiopia since 2005 has died. The oldest is now 13 years old.

Margaret Fleming, the founder of Chances By Choice, an international HIV-positive adoption advocacy group that connects parents with HIV-positive children and adoption agencies, said her group also has overseen adoptions of children from Haiti, Guatemala and Russia.
Fleming said her group has helped bring about 52 international HIV-positive adoptions since 2002 from assorted adoption agencies and countries, including Ethiopia.

Fleming, who has three HIV-positive children in her own brood of 12 children, said she wanted to make a difference in the world.

"I feel like I'm on the cutting edge of making an impact on this epidemic," Fleming, 72, said by telephone from her office in Chicago. "It's given us a chance to be ambassadors, and our children to be ambassadors."

Over the past decade, HIV has become a manageable, chronic disease, rather than a death sentence. Some children, like Solomon, require daily medication that can cost between $700 and $1,500 a month, though all parents planning to adopt children with HIV are required to carry health insurance, so costs are usually less.

Others, like Tsegenet Hehn, have been told by doctors that the low levels of the virus in their blood mean they don't need any medication.

"She doesn't get sick any more than my other children," said Hehn, who said another daughter, who has a condition that makes her react violently to wheat and gluten products, requires more care than Tsegenet does.

U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt said HIV-positive adoptees pose no public health threat in America. Congress is set to repeal legislation that requires those with HIV to get waivers to enter the U.S. For adopted children with HIV, the waiver requirement can increase the nine- to 12-month adoption process by about two weeks.

"The American people are compassionate people," Leavitt told the AP on a visit to the Ethiopian capital, Addis Ababa. "I applaud their compassion and I'm delighted to know they're doing so."
But parents overwhelmingly say the reward is theirs.

"I have learned so much from Tsegenet," Hehn said. "I have learned to be more patient and kind through Tsegenet."

Like some parents interviewed, Hehn says she insists on being open with everyone about her daughter's condition.

"I'm a teacher. I want to educate everybody I can educate," she said. "And I believe it is the only way we can erase the stigma. I am not going to tell her that there is not one part of her that is not beautiful and wonderful and pure."