-       A long time ago, you had to be very careful when meeting a new person – He might be an enemy, waiting to hurt you. So, you’d grab his hand; check if he was holding a weapon, a rock or a knife. If his hand was empty, you were friends. That’s how we started shaking hands when we meet someone.

DEMONSTRATION OF HOW TO SHAKE HANDS:

This is what you do. It may seem simple, but you have to get it just right.

Hold out your right hand, even if you are left-handed. The other person will do the same automatically. It works nearly every time! Don’t hold out your hand too soon or you will seem nervous. If you wait too long, you will seem unfriendly. Then you fit your hand to theirs – not too loose, not too tight. Don’t hold your fingers loose and limp, and don’t just take your fingers into your hand. Hold their entire hand, fingers and palm all the way to where you thumbs meet and cross over each other. Then squeeze firmly, not too hard, and shake once or twice.

And for the finale, just in case the little ones are getting overly excited about their new handshake, share this with them:

Remember that having good manners means that you NEVER CORRECT SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE GOOD MANNERS. It will embarrass them and make them feel badly. Just stay silent and hope they will copy you.

When you have them riveted on the idea of a handshake, you can fine tune their handshake in a fun way. Try this demonstration using creative props e.g. a rubber glove filled with a bit of water and tied at the end; a big salad fork; a big ski glove or a work glove. If you happen to have Halloween items such as a monster hand, skeleton hand, or an alien hand, so much the better.

Here is the banter:

When you shake hands with someone, you’ll know if it’s a good handshake or a bad one. There are some wrong ways to shake hands. You’ll understand better if we act these out.

-       When you shake hands with a limp hand, it’s like holding a wet rubber glove (or slimy skeleton hand) –YUK!

-       When you shake hands with someone who is crushing your hand, it’s like shaking a monster’s hand – OUCH!

-       When you shake hands with just the fingers of someone’s hand, (salad fork tip) it feels WEIRD!

MOTION / DURATION

Shaking hands with a really strong up and down movement feels uncomfortable, be so don’t distract the person you are meeting by shaking too much. 2 or 3 smooth up and downs are plenty. Then let go. The range of motion up and down is 2 or 3 inches. If you don’t shake your hand enough, it seems like you don’t care.

SECOND HANDSHAKE

Shaking hands when you meet is great, but a goodbye handshake is very nice too. Even if the conversation has been awkward or confrontational, a second handshake can tell the person that you still like them.

If you want your child to have an easier time getting along with classmates and teachers, a little etiquette will accomplish amazing results. It sets the bedrock of empathy, appreciation and acceptance. The positive attention your son or daughter gives to others will become a habit that lasts a lifetime.

Now, I truly doubt that your children will be nagging you to learn etiquette!

You: OK kids, you’ve been bugging me for weeks and the big day is here! Let’s finally learn some etiquette!

Children: Yaaaaay!

If this is a conversation that would NEVER happen at your house, you are with good company. The best way to get your child’s attention is to notice what he talks about when he describes a social situation; Then give him some tools to help.

Here’s a light-hearted script of how it might go:

You: Do you feel a bit nervous in new situations? Like the first day of school?

Child: Yes, I barfed in the car.

You: What does it feel like when you are  nervous? (the list might include blushing, feeling sick to your stomach, sweaty palms, dry mouth etc.)

Child: I guess I was nervous.

You: We all get these feelings. Why do we feel this way?

Possible answers – We don’t want to be embarrassed. We want to say and do the right thing and fit in.

How do manners help? Manners give you  tips that you can use in new or awkward situations. They make sense. They smooth out all the little tense moments you run into – like saying hello, goodbye or talking to others. You don’t have to figure out what to do and say all the time. You just think of your manners.

Child: I sure would like a friend. Tell me more, wise parent. What a fantastic Mom you are!!!

Drop this conversation at the right place and time – timing can be crucial – and you will get through. They do want to know how to get along and you are the person to help them!