so I’m like, “oh, sweet. This will be cute for a HS grad.” and I get to work.

Well, you know what happened. I mean, this blog post is titled “My Pinterest Fail.” Without adieu, here are my versions of the rainbow pinwheel cookies:

and these were the best of the batch. Most were a brownish green. Screw you, perfectly swirled and sprinkled stock photo cookies!

However, I made the best of the situation- I used the rest of the uncolored sugar cookie dough and made fruit pizza, which was a big hit at the festivities.

As for the “rainbow” pinwheel cookies? They still tasted delicious and totally worth the tinted teeth they gave me.

The Highlights

1. Freaking finishing it.
2. Realizing push-ups aren’t as hard as I thought.
3. Being able to keep up.
4. Seeing my arms and legs get more toned.
5. As of last Saturday, I lost over 9 inches total from my arms, legs, waist, and hips.
6. Body fat when down about 3%.

The Lowlights

1. Diamond jumps. and Power Jumps. Basically anything with the word jump in it.
2. Both recovery workouts. They sucked. And not in a “this is hard” way. In a “I freaking hate this workout and it blows” way.
3. More workouts per week= infinity more stinky laundry to do
4. I didn’t really lose weight (this is mostly due to diet)

Would I do it again? Probably. But I have been restless this week because I know it’s almost over. I MISS ZUMBA.

What’s Next?

I think I’m going to start bootcamp again. It’s a local group a personal trainer does and it is men and women of all ages and sizes, just working their asses off for an hour, Monday-Thursdays. I am going to try to go 2-3x per week.

Other things I’m looking forward to:

Shin splints FTW.

• Resuming the greatest Zumba class in the world on Saturdays
• Possibly Insanity: The Asylum (and volume 2) down the road. I think I will miss Shaun T too much if I don’t!
• Doing a modified TurboFire plan
• Possibly get rid of my inner, outer, and all over-er shin splints.

I also am going to continue to shape up my nutrition/diet. That needs the most work. I wrote myself a complete meal plan and have followed it every day. Insanity has definitely taught me that preparation is key. If I write it down, I’m a lot more likely to do it!

Going forward, for right now, I’m thinking my exercise schedule will be something like:

• Zumba/TurboFire/Insanity 1-2x per week
• Bootcamp: 2-3x per week
• Jog: 1-2x per week
• Yoga: 1-2x per week

But, I might take an extra day off once Insanity officially ends. My knees and shins will probably thank me.

photo credit: @superamit via photopin cc

First, he gives this amazing interview:

THEN, he graces one of my favorite newscasters, Anderson Cooper, with an interview where he goes into the incompetence of the 911 operators and also lets us know that that Big Mac never left his hands (I get it, I’m a quarter pounder lover myself).

McDonald’s never got in the way of any American Heroes saving lives, that’s all I’m saying.

I’m so glad those women are safe, and Charles believed that Amanda Berry needed help and didn’t even hesitate to help her. Love it.

Apparently McDonald’s took notice too, saying they will be in touch.

If Charles Ramsey doesn’t deserve free Big Macs for life, I don’t know who does.

He says, “Oh really? Prove it. Is 101.3 the Fox on your radio station favorites?” And BOOM it was. I can’t really explain why I love the Steve Miller Band or ZZ Top so much:

except for the fact that it’s just a group of guys, rocking out, loving the music they are playing. Bands nowadays (not all; since I do love me some Lumineers and Black Keys) are sometimes more into it for the fame.

When Billy Gibbons is whaling on a guitar on stage, you know that he is in it for that exact moment. Not the girls or the drugs or whatever. And that’s why I love it. It helps you connect to it in some way.

And it’s really good for jamming out to in your car or the gym. Instant badass booster. Thanks Dad!

On this morning, I watched an infomercial on the Nutribullet (which couldn’t have come at a better time, because my MagicBullet has been on its last legs). Then, a TotalGym commercial comes on. Well, I can’t change it because it’s Chuck Norris and ever since Walker, Texas Ranger went off the air, I just don’t get enough Master Norris in my life.

Anyway, I was looking up reviews on the Nutribullet, Chuck drops a bombshell on me. He has a son. Named Dakota. Dakota Norris.

I feel like Dakota Norris could kick my ass and I wouldn’t even know what was happening. He climbs that rope like a feral spider monkey.

I feel like I own Master Norris an apology. How did I not know? It is now my duty to educate the world about Dakota Norris, in case his wild kid strength turns into the amazing, lethal superpowers of his father.

Don’t let the bloggers fool you. Drinking a glass of water when you’re hungry does not work. Here’s a tip that actually works: it’s best to just give into your original craving, so you don’t also eat granola bars, cheese, and eggs along the way to eating what you wanted in the first place. Taco Bueno Nacho “salad,” here I come.

As I was diving into some Cheetos a few days ago, H grabbed the bag and gave me some concerned spiel about how I shouldn’t eat them because I “work so hard at my Insanity”. It was super cute and it helped me not eat anything for a whole 30 minutes.

Then he’s reminding me about all the healthy alternatives in our pantry and I’m like,

“Yeah Phil, take the back golf course entrance. T-Pain is filming a music video in the intersection at the end of the street… yeah…I think it’s called Booty Working? Butt Work? Something like that.”

So what do I hate most about my baby, whom I can’t really blame anything on?

Power Jumps.

This gal who has a much better stomach than me demonstrates:

I don’t even want to know what I look like doing “power jumps”. I’m thinking they are about half as high and my back is hunched like I live at Notre Dame.

I also hate Shanita from the DVDs, seriously, you’re going to stop every time the camera comes to you? That is really your only time to work hard. If you do Insanity, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, just know that Shanita sucks:

Besides doing Insanity, I have been busy fostering my hippie alter ego by bartering with some landscaping companies to get help for my garden. It needs an intervention, bad. I didn’t know so many different types of weeds could grow in one area. Or that dying bushes somehow still manage to get taller. HELP. WILL MAKE PRETTY WEBSITES FOR PRETTY LANDSCAPING.

I’ve also been planning my trip to Omaha for Big Omaha during the second week in May. After I decided on the hotel, I immediately looked at the photos and evaluated whether or not I’ll be able to do Insanity there.

Maybe it is taking over my life. SEND WATER. AND LANDSCAPERS.

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