Eventide Whispers

Peculiar Peculiarity within Tim Burton's Peculiardom

2016-10-06T22:48:00.000+07:00

Picture taken from Pinterest

I have one golden rule when watching a book adaptation: never compare the movie with the book. Treat them as separate entities.

Paulo Coelho said once that "A book is a film that takes place in the mind of the reader." And of course, considering that ourselves are the best director/casting director/animatronic artist/composer in the world, we will almost absolutely be disappointed if we compare the book with the movie.

So far, only two book adaptation movies really disappointed me: Eragon and Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.

***

First, let me just say that I'm heartbroken. Tim Burton is definitely one of my favorite director. And the fact that he cameo in the movie is awesome at the very least. However, even with all that awesomeness (added with the fact that Eva Green makes the hottest headmistress EVER), I still couldn't bring myself to like the movie.

Why, you say? I think it's mainly because I feel that the movie reduced a whole lot of elements in the book. The complexity of the plot, character, and even the peculiarity is reduce to a point that is almost nonexistent; which is pretty much depressing.

The book itself tells a story about a boy coping with traumatic loss that sends him to a roller coaster ride among the peculiar community, dragged into a generation-long war he didn't even know existed, until he finally realized that he is way more that he has ever think he was (and that he actually have a long lost crucial role to play in the peculiar community). Of course, the realization only came to him through a tumultuous hardship, as all good realization should be. The movie? Well, it's more of a classic boy-meet-girl story with a twisted twist.


All in all, the movie reminded me off this awesome Venn diagram by The Oatmeal.

Second: characters. Some major characters got lost in translation. Olive is no longer an elderly women with elderly wisdom trapped in the body of a child. She is a mere lovestrucked teenager with pyrotechnic. Emma is no longer tormented and confined by her potentially destructive power and the fact that she is in love with both Abe and his grandson. She is Alice on shrooms. Enoch is no longer a sadistic necronomancer slowly growing his conscience with every step of the journey. He is a stupid and jealous teenager with the ability to bring toy story to life. The twins is no longer one conscience painfully ripped apart in two bodies. They are medusa offsprings who don't actually need to be twins for their peculiarity to work. Even the remains of Victor are reduced to ventriloquist's doll. And not even the scary ones like the one in my old Goosebumps book.

To be fair, both version of Miss Peregrine is a bit of a tyrant. But in the book, she is genuinely loved and needed by the peculiar children. Not a sexy-ghastly-and-slightly-OCD version of Hitler.

The conflict within the peculiardom itself is reduced significantly. The minorities' struggle for power inside the peculiardom that lead to the apocalyptic explosion that lead to the birth of abominations known as hollowghast that (given consumed enough eyes of peculiar children) turned into wights were lost; and replaced with a simple lab experiment went wrong.

***

Moreover, I got a sense that the movie is more like a culmination of Tim Burton's work rather than an adaptation of the book. The scenery inside the loop instantly takes you to Underland. Emma reminds you a lot of Alice (even her goddamned clothes has similar pastel blue hue). Miss Peregrine has to be the offspring of Mrs. Lovett and the white rabbit (I'm surprised that it's not played by Helena Bonham Carter). The hollowghasts are clearly Jack Skellington ver. 2.0 (now with added tentacles!).

Monologue With My Devil

2015-11-27T23:36:00.001+07:00

"Hey!"

"Hey there!"

"You don't seem surprised to see me."

"Can't say that I do. You're always appear right around this time."

"And what time is that, may I ask?"

"When I'm happy."

"Aaah..."

"What? No protest?"

"Well, that's sort of kind of true, isn't it?"

"Yes it is."

"You know it's necessary, though."

"What? For you to drag me down when I'm standing tall?"

"For you to not go in over your head."

"What does that supposed to mean? Are you saying I shouldn't be happy?"

"I keep you grounded."

"You make me doubt myself."

"You're always free to ignore me."

"How can I, when your presence is so thick?"

"You can try."

"Hhh.. I have the feeling that ignoring you will only make it worse."

"You seem so sure."

"I speak from experience."

"It's better this way, right?"

"I guess. There's no way for me to get rid of you, right?"

"Haha.. Not a chance!"

"I thought so." :)

Nove Novembre

2015-11-09T22:37:00.001+07:00

John Glenn once said "There is no cure for the common birthday." (Thanks, Quote Garden!). No matter what we do, we are socially obliged to go through the day that marks another one of our 365 days journey under the sun. At first we are keen to welcome it. Up to a point, you just no longer give a shit. After all, it's just another day in your seemingly unending collection of days. Alas, society (and facebook) will always remind you how supposedly special the day is.

Don't misjudge me. I hove nothing against birthdays. I don't mind getting older, nor do I mind celebrating it. It's just the way it is.

Anyway, this birthday I feel particularly on a reflective mood. So I thought to myself: "Why don't you just write a little bit about how last year's has went?" Then I replied: "You know what? That is actually not a bad idea." So, here are some highlights of last year in my life.

***

New Job
I landed myself a new position last year. A change that happened on the perfectly right moment, as I started to feel stagnant in my previous position. The new post allows me to learn new things, experiment, and interact with people. After a year, I still think that this new position has a lot of new challenges to offer. Plus, I got to go to new exciting places and meet with amazing people all over the globe.

Scorpio, by Agnimaya

Losses
Last year, far too many people--good people--died. Some of them I know personally, others are second-degree acquaintances, and the rest are just people I know from a distance. Last week another one of my friend died due to unanticipated reason. We were not that close, but I know him well enough. He's a truly kind and generous soul. I was kinda surprised how affected I was by his death. I guess it really bothers me. How people you love can be easily taken away from you in a heartbeat. I really don't like losing anyone. Especially if I cared about them deeply.

L'amour
After my breakup last year, a lot of people are advising me to not be traumatised about relationship. How I should not be afraid to fall in love again. Well, they are wrong about two things. First, I was never in love with my ex. Of course I loved him, but it was merely a bond formed due to comfort. Although sounded very much bitter, I realised this when I truly examine my relationship in retrospect. Second, I was never traumatised. I just don't post every single encounters I have in facebook. All I can say is that currently, I'm truly happy. And if you don't know why, that just mean I don't like you that much to share my story with you.

Expectations
Sometimes I wonder, when people you care about said that they are worried about you, is it really you they care about? Or is it just their reputation and how people perceive them when they see you? I hate that these expectation put a strain on my relationship with my loved ones. I hate the fact that they don't even bother to ask whether I'm happy before stating their concerns about how I should live my life. I hate the fact that I don't know how to make them understand my feelings and choices.

Karma
Karma has been especially blunt with me this year. I've seen people who hurt me received payback (instantly, without me even wanting it to happen). And on the other hand, it has taught me several lessons. The hard way. I guess I realise now that I should never be so quick to judge what people do. No matter how despicable. I understand now that everyone's story is different. And most of the times, they are incomprehensible to others. At least I try to.

Friendhip
I love my friends. Now more than ever. No further explanation required.

***

Enough rambling. All in all, it has been a good year. I can only hope the next will be better and better.

Synchronised Pain

2015-11-01T19:43:00.004+07:00

Synchronicity. Meaningful coincidences. According to Jung, they are things that are not connected through causality, yet are connected through meaning. But if so, what then, defines meaning? Don’t expect me to be able to elaborate that. I never delved into the writings of Jung.

Many miles away....

What I do know is this: my world and the world of many I cared deeply about is out of balance. And we’re not talking about a slight tilt to the left. We’re talking about Pompeii-scale catastrophe. Those that incidents that eats you away inside, and giving you intense pain that you wishes you would just vanishes to oblivion.

I am an avid believer of karma. However, thinking that this is a bad group karma is too fatalistic. After all, despite all that we have done, we are all relatively good people (as debatable as it is). It’s not like we killed a guy then cover it up together. Besides, these people I cared about are not a part of the same group. They have no apparent connections. And at least two of them can even be categorized as angels according to mortal standard.

This moment, I don’t even have space in my mind for another thought. I don’t even know how to think straight anymore. The fight between ego and common sense in my mind is burning all of my energy that I no longer have any fuel for anything else. Even so… The affection and empathy I feel for everyone I care about is impossible to erase, even if it is consuming everything else that is left in me violently.

Yes, Mbak. That includes the affection and empathy I feel for you. You are a great friend of mine, one which I care for deeply; and it pains me greatly to see that I’ve caused you this pain. I don't know how I can ever get your forgiveness. Or even if I would.

You know what? Fuck this. Maybe it’s time for me to pray. Let’s just hope I still remember how.

Hagoromo

2015-10-07T22:07:00.000+07:00

I've read about it somewhere...

Photo Credit: Four Seasons in Japan

Kaguya-hime was unable to feel

That was why Tsukuyomi no Mikoto sent her to earth

To learn how to feel

But truly, Kaguya-hime is anything but numb

She feels everything more intensely than anyone else

But no one can comprehend what she was feeling

Why she did what she did

So they punish her

Forcing her to feel

Only to make her forget all the lessons she learned

All the feelings she felt

Nevertheless I wonder

What would it feel like to just wear the hagoromo

And slip away into the cold white light

Leaving all in the void behind

Happy?

2015-09-29T22:45:00.000+07:00

"So are you happy with yourself?"

In response, I told you that the current me is the best version of me so far.
The me that I can love the most.
The me I can accept the most.

To tell you the truth, Babe, there are times when I still have a hard time being happy with me.
There's still so much of me that I cannot bring myself to like.
So much of me that is still not the way I want them to be.
So much of me that I want to change, but never had the willpower to do so.

I am hanging in a balance, Babe. I always have.
Maybe I always will be...

A small unfriendly gesture or the slightest failure can send me to a downward spiral.
No, I don't show it to anyone, but it happens.
A lot more time than I'd like it to.
And every single time I need to drag myself out, with a little help from my friends.

But despite all that, I know better than to hate myself.
Because once I start hating me, everything I have spent years restoring will crumble to pieces.
By then, I don't even know if I would have enough strength to stand back up again...

To Fear or Not To Fear

2015-06-01T09:05:00.000+07:00

Do you know the best thing to do when you are very very stressed and in the brink of another downward spiral? Watch the movie that is basically all of your trauma and fear combined! >=D

Well, okay, that's probably not what the doctor would order; but that's exactly what I (without even realising it) did yesterday.

Picture credit: Aunty Acid

As I'm getting older (and please do notice that this is a comparative phrase) I realise that I am getting better in covering what I am feeling, including to myself. Luckily, my body is honest; and I am trained enough to notice the small signs of protests my body is making. And it has been screaming stress for quite some time now.

Knowing so, I decided to have a de-stress weekend with my friends that include food, movie, and songs. Unfortunately, we encounter a slight problem. I have watched Mad Max and my friend has watched Tommorowland, and we really don't want our other friend to choose which friend she likes better; so we decided to watch San Andreas instead. "It's just another disaster movie," he said. Of course, being a person with serious trust issue that I am, I googled it first. Big earthquake, Dwayne Johnson, and Kylie Minogue. How bad can it be?

The movie is not bad, au contraire, it was actually quite enjoyable. It's just that I am truly amazed on how the movie managed to capture (as I said previously) most of my trauma and fear in 114 minutes. Now, I realise that unless you are a very avid stalker of mine, you will not know about my trauma and fears, so here they are (as portrayed in San Andreas):

Earthquake


What happenei in San Andreas is known as "strike-slip" where the two sides of the fault slip horizontally past each other. Yes, I googled. Picture credit: Hwaairfan's Blog

According to Wikipedia, "an earthquake (also known as a quake, tremor or temblor) is the perceptible shaking of the surface of the Earth, which can be violent enough to destroy major buildings and kill thousands of people." (Wikipedia, 2015). And this phenomenon is basically the underlying theme of San Andreas movie.

I do not have a ridiculous fear of earthquake, but I did experienced an earthquake in 2006 and still shudders whenever I feel the ground is shaking. The earthquake itself was bearable in the place where I lived, but Indonesia is not a country well-prepared for disaster. The level of catastrophe in some areas are devastating. I joined in an effort for children trauma healing in one of the areas highly affected by the disaster and live in a tent for three months with little to none training on both response and trauma healing. In retrospect, I really really wish that we managed to bring more good than bad.

Explosion
I hated explosions since 22 July 2001, when I was caught in one. However, usual explosion scene does not really bother me. What bothers me about the movie is the fact that the explosions were accompanied by a very realistic falling debris. And they happens repeatedly. I guess every single explosion brought the part of me I would rather forget, drained me, and left me a little bit limp at the end of the journey. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit; but the intense discomfort I felt when seeing a building explode from the inside is real, and I truly hate it.

Height

Picture credit: Bored Panda

You know that escalator to the movie theater in the Grand Indonesia shopping town? The one that is twice as long and twice as high as the other ones? I hate it. Hate it with all my heart. My friend forced me on it once, and I went numb. I still secretly hate you for doing that to me, Bee!

I have this thing that the French call "the call of the void". The urge to jump from high places. I used to think that the feeling means that I am acrophobic. But after a careful trip down google lane, I see that this is actually a primal self-preservation mechanism.

Hearing the call of the void actually prevents me from getting to close to any edge that might lead to accidental slipping and result in me hitting the ground on 100 mph. So, in a way, it ensures that I stick on this earth a little while longer.

...or at least that what google told me.

Losing A Sister
Not many people now, but I had one sister who died at birth back in 1992. I was still a very young girl at that time, and we did not really have that deep of a connection for me to feel a profound loss. However, the void is there; As well as the longing to be able to chat with and hold her during my most difficult times. She would have been 23 by now and I simply cannot help to wonder what kind of a woman will she be had she still be here with us.

Losing Control in General
Above all, I am a person who are obsessed with control because, let's face it, the world will be a so much better place had everything turn out exactly the way I want it to be. And any kind of naturally-occurring deviance in my life (such as one caused by an earthquake measuring 9.6 on the Richter scale) rips me from having a sense of control. Scenes in the movie are arranged in a way that we could not deny that, when faced by nature's immense strength, human being are essentially nothing. And I hate that feeling of helplessness., especially when it comes to keeping your loved ones safe. I would really love to think that no matter how bad the situation are, we still have control over our lives, and those that we care about. But I'm not naive. I realise that this is not the situation.

***

That being said, I think the rush of norepinephrine and cortisol induced by the movie is quite pleasant. Maybe sometimes, stress just need an outlet and this movie did exactly that. Icing on the cake: I get to see Ioan Gruffudd and Kylie Minogue, even just for a little bit. I am still upset that they canceled "Forever", though. Seriously, America, what's wrong with you?

Nadie

2015-05-15T22:59:00.001+07:00

Credit: Musico na Estrada

It's been 11 years since I first saw you

9 since I hesitated, and gave up

7 since I last took a ride on your bike

6 since I last saw you

4 since we last texted each other

2 months since you messaged me out of the blue

1 month since you popped on my timeline by chance

before vanishing once more

Somehow, you always know the perfectly bad time to reappear in my life

Always

that exact moment I stopped thinking about you

but I guess, I don't know if I ever really do

We are nobody to each other

yet I seek you in everyone I met

and until now

none of them compare to you

The 100 Year Old Man Who... Well, You Know What He Did

2015-05-05T00:12:00.002+07:00

"Ada seekor anak kelinci main-main di lapangan.
Dia sangat senang sekali melihat rumput-rumput yang bergoyang..."

Whoaa..! Dad! You should have taught me not
to go with strangers. Especially when it's a
shady bear in the woods! I'm not Masha!
(Photo credit: We Know Memes)

Are you familiar with a Mobius strip? It's basically a simple strip that when you draw a straight line on the surface, you would end up on the spot where you begin. The piece of the story (in Indonesian) above is the beginning of my Daddy's version of a Mobius strip.

Every night when I was small, he would tell us a story of a little bunny who got lost, met Mr. Bear, went to his house to spend the night and eat Mrs. Bear's cooking, decided to take a nap while Mr. Bear told him a story about a little bunny who got lost, and the story goes on forever. The ending of this movie reminded me of that story from my childhood. However, as Julie Andrews said (or sang): "Let's start from the very beginning. A very good place to start."

Run, Allan! Run!
It has been a crazy week. Between work, friends, family, financial, health, and personal sanity dramas; I think I can proudly say that it's an achievement that I have not completely lost my mind. So in order to remain functioning, I decided to went and watch the Europe on Screen alone on a lovely Monday night.

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window and Disappeared was playing. I first heard the ridiculously long title when I saw the book in my friend's house. She told me it was a great book. But I haven't had a chance to read it. So, when I saw the title in the screening schedule, naturally I feel the urge to go and watch it. And thus I went and watch.

The movie started with a bang. A literal bang. The main character, Allan Karlsson, is an old man with a livelong obsession of blowing things up. And he decided to take revenge on the lovely red fox that killed his overweight cat (appropriately named Molotov) by blowing it up. This maneuver send him straight to a nursing home.

But first, let me just say that any geriatric who are brave
enough to climb out of anything deserved my utmost
respect. (Photo credit: The Holywood Reporter)

I think you can instantaneously tell that Allan is quite a character around the time you see him wrapping a bunch sausages around dynamite and meticulously putting the pile by the hen house. But even this quirky move will not prepare you for what you about to see about Alan's character.

He live a carefree, colorful live; I suspect without even realising it. He had had people, "from conductor to dictator," yelling at him. He saved Franco's life (from himself, but that's out of the context), advised Oppenheimer on how to make bomb, dined with Truman, danced with Stalin, befriended Einstein (Herbert, not Albert), and (unawarely) tricked Gorbachev with his recording of Reagan's yelling to his gardener. Hell, he was the Scandinavian version of Forest Gump!

To Think or Not To Think
Technically speaking, I love the colorful scenes in the movie. The scenic Scandinavian countryside, the cute houses, the amazing make up, the uplifting music, the one-of-a-kind characters, the quirky storyline, the witty dialogues; all of which are directed into making you feel that blissful happiness you rarely let out. I watched the movie alone, but not once did I feel the need to hold back on the laughing. And it's deliberating.

I could spend so much time babbling about how great the storyline is and describing every single scene, but I won't. You could go on and watch the movie yourselves! One thing I could say, though, is that the maker of Allan's story, Jonas Jonasson, is a genius! I haven't had as much fun watching a movie like this ever since Harold and Maude. The whole studio cannot stop laughing throughout the screening. There were also occasional applause during several scenes. Well deserved applause, if I might add.

And while we're on the subject, May the Fourth be with you!
(Photo credit: Adventure Time Wikia)

Witty comic aside, I think Allan's story serve as a reminder of how we, modern people, have the tendency to over think. "Thinking would not get you anywhere," his mother said just before she died. That in turn shaped Allan into a carefree, happy-go-lucky person that we saw throughout the movie.

And then we saw the character Benny. A character so indecisive that he never decided where he should go with his life, and thus went nowhere. On top of it all, we see that Allan is a blessed golden child of destiny; and so do the good people around him. They came so close so many times to misfortune, even felt that every now and then. But they always prevails in the end. The message is clear (at least I think it is): Carpe Diem! (or as modern hip people say: YOLO!). If you want to do something, do it. Don't waste time thinking about it. Nitey nite!

La Mia Ombra

2015-04-13T20:44:00.000+07:00

You caught up with me tonight.

I always knew you have never left. You were always there. Two steps behind me. Watching. Silently waiting for that one moment of weakness where I would let you in. That one moment where I cannot resist your touch. That one moment where I would surrender to your cold embrace. I just could not believe that you would strike tonight.

I survived a lot. Did you know that? Of course you did. You were there through the ups and downs and the seemingly endless roundarounds. But I don't get why didn't you move then. When I lost, and lost, and lost again. Why did you stand idle then?

It's amazing how much pain you let me conquer, only to enter my life over a small insignificant thing. That's diabolical, you know? Even for you.

I have prepared for this reunion ever since I managed to put you at bay. I thought I was ready. I truly do. I guess I just forgot how viscous the darkness that you bring. How easy it is to fall under your spell.

You are an undeniable part of me. I know. I cannot do anything to vanquish you. But tell me, what would it take for me to move two steps ahead once again?

Crossroads

2015-04-04T02:03:00.000+07:00

We walk hand in hand with others through this journey we call life. At any point of my life, there's always somebody holding my hand, or at least hovering nearby as I went on in my passage. No matter how comfortable the person's presence is, inevitably we will reach that fork on the road. One that would force each of us to choose whether we would go on together, of should we bid farewell to each other. Most of the times, we are bound to let go.

See you at the crossroad

There was this boy I spent my childhood with. He lived nearby. We spent almost everyday together. We played the same games and shared the same laughs. We grew apart as I started school. He went to school in his hometown. I met him a couple of times ago, pushing the snack cart on the side of the road. We exchanged stories. Briefly reminisce of a time long passed. He is still the same warm, kind soul I knew years ago.

There was this girl whom I went to elementary school with. I spent so many times in her house. We were so close at that time. We go to the same church, but I was never the devout type. Not even as a child. She is the exact opposite of me, religious-wise. We don't actually communicate other than briefly exchange comments on Facebook and occasional hellos during the rare times I go to my church. During these times, I would watch her as she reads passages of the bible on the podium, while I try to maintain sufficient level of concentration.

A guy that sells tickets for the commuter train recognised me one day. I barely recognised him, but we went to junior high together. We were never that close, but he was smarter than me in school, academically. He was my ex's best friend at that time. We exchanged smile, but directly went on our ways. You see, I have a train to catch and people were queuing behind me.

Speaking of exes, there was this guy I dated briefly in senior high. We have different religions, and apparently that's a big thing for Indonesian parents. Throughout the years, we meet several times. Exchanged stories and looking for each other's advice. He's married to one of my best friend in tenth grade (whom I suspect dislikes me from the way she interacts with me. I never figure out why). They have one child, and I no longer communicate with him. Save for some innocent comments on Facebook.

In college, I met this amazing girl. She is very smart, critical, diligent, friendly, and seem to have zero bad thoughts. I was comfortable with her as friend, and enjoy our discussions. She went back to her hometown a couple of years ago. And now, I saw her sharing posts that I find doesn't make sense on Facebook. I still have high respect for her, but I think our values and believes are already so far apart.

Because happiness needs
no explanations

It's amazing how one different turn can lead you to a very different path. At one point of life, I was in the same state with the aforementioned. Now, we are so far apart. Some people whom I said goodbye to came back to my life as if nothing have changed, but that do not happen a lot. No matter how different we are now, I sincerely hope the good persons that has been in my life are happy with their current conditions, as I am now.

----------------------------------
* Crossroad picture taken from this site.
** Happy monks picture by Mollycules from Buddha Doodles.

Cool Kids

2015-02-23T22:56:00.002+07:00

"I wish that I could be like the cool kids,
'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in."
~Ecosmith - Cool Kids

I was an outlier. Growing up, I never feel the need to be the cool kids. It's not that I hate cool kids. Most of them are actually pretty cool. It's just that their life was not mine. And I never intended it to be. I think it's nice to be an outlier. While the cool kids were trying to fit in, I was content with my manga and collection of ash. (Yes, I collected ashes back in the days. I would burn things and saw the different forms of ash they would make. That was how creepy I was. Don't worry. None of the things I burned were alive.)

I hated people. Especially when they are in groups. Making friends was not something that comes natural to me. I had some friends, and most of them were as quirky as I was. Still are. I had always been uncomfortable in social situation. I think the first time I ever really feel not awkward among a lot of people was after I have a job. Somehow being a 'professional' really helped me find the confidence to talk to people and mingle with bunches of them. I guess it's true that access to capital could make a person be empowered.

Reminiscing on how I was, and seeing the way that I am now, I realised that much have changed. And let me just say that I just love the way that I am now. I think I am comfortable in my own skin. More than I ever was. And I enjoy this transformation. I like to see it as me embarking on a journey to find myself. So far, I like what I have found.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Unfortunately, as always, society finds a way to disrupt your happiness. A couple of days ago someone I know said to me, "You look better lately. More marketable." Let me just first say that this is just an awful thing to say to anyone. Human beings are not commodities. At least not on that sense. People (at least I) do not go through personal transformation because they are looking for a market to sell themselves in. No. Personally, I did it for me and myself only. I don't see why it is really difficult for society to understand.

Yes I have changed. Physically and mentally. And I know that the changes manifested themselves visually. But the thing is, I am still the same me. The same person people ignored just a few months ago. And I don't see why people would judge me differently. But I can feel that they do.

I love my current self. More than I have ever loved myself previously. But there are times, such as tonight, when I just miss that little skinny girl that everyone ignored. She did not have to face people's screwed appreciation. She did not have to worry about being nice to other, because she knew people who were nice to her has no ulterior motives; and the people who were not nice to her simply does not matter. She could simply dance through life without people even noticing. And tonight, just tonight, I would give everything to feel a glimpse of that blissful ignorance again.

Good Gone Girl

2015-02-17T21:57:00.002+07:00

"Hi Cil,...Is it possible for a woman to fake the violence that she experience?"
Of course it is, Mas. As possible as it is for a man to fake love.

Human beings are equipped with means of self preservation. One of them is our ability to deceive. We learn the art of deception from early on: ever since we know that the truth can hurt us (that is, when our mom asked us who broke the vase in the living room). We learn that sometimes, lies is more convenient than the truth. However, Gone Girl went far beyond your usual "I got stuck in traffic" lie. The movie speaks about an elaborate scheme of carefully planned deception; which has one and only one goal: to punish.


Because life is only filled with sunshine and rainbows! ...NOT!

Meet Amy. She spent her life carefully weaving lies that suits her need. Not that I blame her, though. She was raised in a pretentious society. Her pretentious parents even created a pseudo-world where an "enhanced" version of herself, the Amazing Amy, lives. It's like from the very beginning she was taught that she was not enough. Her whole live was a charade; thus, she learned to show only the side of her that the society wanted to see.

Of course we cannot only blame the ever annoying society, although they're asking for it. To be fair, Amy does shows symptoms of sociopathy to begin with. If not, she would not be able to do the things she did so lightheartedly. That is also not her fault. Mental illness is not a matter of choice. Although in her case, it has never been detected; and an illness, any illness, left untreated is a million times more dangerous.

Let's go back to the question I received a couple of days ago. The one I put on the beginning of this piece. I realize that the answer I gave was stereotypical (unfortunately, I think of this answer after I had given the enquirer another less awesome answer. Damn!). Women played victims and men played perpetrators. But I think that's exactly the problem. Society (yay! We're back to blaming the society! My favorite spawn of satan.) see women in a disadvantaged place. And Amy knows this.

My friend told me a very interesting phrase when we were discussing about this issue: Power Bottom. Amy knows that being a victim can be beneficial to her. She doesn't mind being at the bottom, as long as she's in control. Pathetic? Maybe. But you have to admit that this kind of move is really strategic. And for Amy, it worked. Thrice.

What's interesting about the movie is, you cannot even tell how much of Amy's story was real. Yes of course, Nick cheated; but the other thing Amy said he did to her? I'm fairly convinced he did not do most of it. Maybe Amy was hurt by the betrayal (considering that she has the ability to feel), but I think mostly, she was just bored.

"What are you thinking? How are you feeling?
What have we done to each other? What will we do?"

I can totally see why Amy did the thing she did, though. Everyone has their own deep dark thought that they secretly want to see become reality. Nick even opened the movie with the following gory line: "When I think of my wife, I always think of the back of her head. I picture cracking her lovely skull, unspooling her brain, trying to get answers." He also wanted Amy to be punished. The difference between Nick and Amy is, he still have a moral compass that prevented him from doing the wicked things he wanted to do, whereas Amy is mentally unrestricted.

As sick as Amy may be, I can't help but to feel a hint of envy. For a while, I wonder how it feels to be so unapologetic. To be able to do everything you wanted to do without any emotional consequences. But then again, I'm grateful for the same thing that restricts me also gives me the ability to feel.

Interstellar: A Blast From The Future

2014-11-13T01:11:00.003+07:00

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
~Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. - See more at: http://allpoetry.com/Do-Not-Go-Gentle-Into-That-Good-Night#sthash.vl1M0fcn.dpuf

If I was asked to describe Interstellar in one word, I would say orgasmic. The perfect combination of Nolan's perfectly executed idea, parade of beautiful casts, roller coaster of emotion, and Zimmerman's sweet composition; topped with a perfect staccato of noise and silence created the perfect tempo and thrill only a handful other movies can match.

Cerdas, tampan, dan kebapakan. Tidak dijual terpisah.
If the phrase were translated to English, it would lose its
meaning >=D

The slightly fatalistic movie is centered on the struggle of a misfit father, Cooper (first name remains a mystery), who were born "40 years too early or 40 years too late" for his time. Cooper, as with his daughter, has a curious mind; in a time when people are too busy surviving to give critical thinking a chance to thrive. See, within the dystopia pictured in interstellar, the earth is failing. Resources are rare, as the earth refuses to provide mankind with the staples required to survive. Plus, the climate is hostile for human survival. So humankind compromise, and Cooper the astronaut became an unused tool. Desperate for a fulfillment, he follows the hints from a freak anomaly that sends him off on the journey of his life, among the heavens.

After following a coordinate bestowed upon him by a gravitational anomaly, Cooper finds himself in an active NASA base, guarded by an improved, slightly less aerodynamic, version of R2D2 named TARS. TARS himself, and his kindred, is an extremely human-like AI. He has the perfect combination of logic, wit (100% humor level), honesty (90%, as apparently "honesty is not always the best diplomacy when dealing with emotional beings"), and surprisingly, wisdom. I want TARS more than I want R2. And that's saying a lot. Great job, Nolan!

Or maybe this planet-eating guy?

Anyway, enough about TARS. Cooper was then assigned on a mission, where I highly suspect that the crew members were obliged to have a certain degree of physical beauty in order to join the band. The mission is to search a new home for humanity, and in order to do so, the team needs to follow the guidance from a mysterious "fifth dimensional being" who has conveniently provided a wormhole for the team to travel to another galaxy. This plot reminds me of Agent Smith from the Matrix. He said that human being are like virus who invaded a host and multiply until the host died, then we move to another place. Apparently, Agent Smith has a point.

To make a long story short, after a series of failed attempts in finding the alternative planet to live in, and a series of tragic loss, Cooper realised that he needed to make sacrifice and plunge himself into the black hole in order to ensure the only person left in his team (Dr. Amelia Brand, accompanied by TARS' kin, CASE) can arrive safely on the last viable planet and start building a compound for the rest of humanity to live in. Which is, apparently the perfect choice for him because by doing so he could access the vault of singularity and pass on necessary messages to his daughter on the planet that has reached its critical point.

Okay! Enough about the plot! I want to talk about how he movie made me feel. First, I just want to give a standing applause for Christopher Nolan. Genius! I wonder what is inside that mind of his. I would love a chance to explore his thought, The Cell style. But that would be creepy. This movie took me on a crazy emotional roller coaster ride. No doubt that Matthew McConaughey delivers the role of Cooper flawlessly. But after Dallas Buyer Club, I don't think anyone doubt that he will do so.

But he was so good in this movie...

Speaking of the casts, as I said earlier, this movie is a parade of beautiful people. That being said, this is also an interesting mix of group, which somehow blends in perfectly like a well-designed eclectic room. Everyone did their role so naturally and they successfully engage viewer's emotion. I laughed at TARS' jokes, cried at Cooper's pain, and held my breath during Dr. Mann's explosion due to space exposure. Unfortunately, as much as I love Matt Damon, he's the least emoting person in the movie.

Compared to the previous Nolan's movies, Interstellar is the most emotional. Nolan's movies are usually emotionally detached and focuses on the plot rather than the emotional turmoil. Even Memento. But in this movie, Nolan really explored the depth of human emotion. He even delved into the romantic concept of love as reflected on Amelia's statement when talking about Planet Edmund. I don't think he has ever done that before. Or at least, not this deep. I don't know if Nolan was just experimenting, or whether he has grown, but either way the experiment was damn successful.

Furthermore, I love how Nolan chose not to overwhelm the viewers with unnecessary details. This is reflected by how the majority of characters does not even reveal their first name all through the movie. Also in the simplistic design of TARS and his kinsman. This way, viewers can focus on the storyline.

In conclusion, I think this year has been a great year for movies. We have Her, Lucy, and Interstellar. Three of the best movies ever made. So while you are waiting for The Imitation Game to be launched, go watch Interstellar! I have to admit though, this kind of movie makes me feel superior. It feels good to be able to truly enjoy a movie that is incomprehensible to at least 70% other people who watched the movie. Sue me. I'm vain that way. >=D

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* Picture of Cooper was taken from the movie
** Picture of Galactus was taken from this page
*** The last picture was a poster for Talented Mr. Ripley movie

The Answer to Your Question

2014-10-18T06:28:00.000+07:00

You asked me who is it that I'm interested in. I will not give you a straight answer. I don't need to. You are far too smart not to notice. And I am far too into you to be able to to hide the feelings. I have fallen for your name, your intellect, your charm, and your outlook on life. I enjoy our discussion and your presence. So much that I don't even care if you could ever feel the same. It doesn't matter. I just want to feel that you are near. That I can talk to you and see your smile every once in a while, even though you are far.

From the very first time I fell for you, I know that you are out of my reach. And that is okay. I'm happy just to know that I can have these feelings I feel for you. You make me feel more alive than I have ever been in my entire life, even without realising that you are doing it. You make me feel human, and most of all, you make me feel. For that, I would forever be grateful to you.

Oh, what would I not give to be able to hold you in my arms, even for a little while. But I know that I have no rights to ask for anything from you. You have given me so much just by being you. After all, I am your nobody.

I just want you to know that I am here for you. I might never ask you these questions directly. My pride is way too high to allow me. Would you allow me to keep these feelings for you, regardless of the condition? Would you allow me to be near you, even if it means as your nobody? Would you allow me to contact you every once in a while, just to know that you are still here? Would you mind chatting with me every now and then, just so that I can see your smile?

(Not) Just the Way You Are

2014-10-03T23:36:00.000+07:00

Don't go changing, to try and please me

You never let me down before

People will always change no matter what. In fact, the only thing that's constant in this life is change. People only stop changing once their dead. Even then a process of change is still occurring. Saying people should not change is essentially telling them to stop living and having a new experience.

Also, what on earth makes you think that I am changing merely for the sake of pleasing you? Is it so hard for you to believe that I also have the need to change, to improve, and to constantly be better? Not for other people, only for myself.

Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

This is just a projection of your insecurities. Your fear of being left behind by because I have evolved beyond the capacity of the relationship allowed.

I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

Every relationship means that all party involved needs to compromise to a point. But relationship also means constantly improving each other's qualities, and supporting each other's flaws. This is not about taking each other just the way each other's is, this is about making each other the best version of themselves.

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair

So what if I want to try new fashion? What if I want to change the color of my hair? This is my body, and I hold the autonomy for it. No one has the right to tell me otherwise.

You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

Mere justification for ignorance. If you feel a passion for me, don't leave it unspoken. You need to constantly show it, and I will do the same. Romance is reciprocal and needs to be nurtured every single day. It will die once it's ignored.

I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

Yes, I want someone to talk to. But when I talk to someone special, I do want clever conversation. I want to challenge and be challenged. I need to constantly develop myself, and I expect my someone special to do the same thing.

I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew

Once again, impossible. People change with every experience. Deal with it!

What will it take 'till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.

How can I ever believe in someone who never even show me that he cares? How dare he says he believes in me when in fact he does not allow me to improve and be a better version of me?

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart

It's easy to make promise, but forever is a long time. So don't promise, just make everyday count.

I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

Don't let the relationship be stagnant. It's not about loving me more each day, it's about love me in different ways each and every single day. It's about escaping routines and experience thrills. It's about seeing things differently according to every day's context.

Songs of Peace

2014-09-21T12:29:00.000+07:00

In commemoration of Peace Day, and inspired by a good friend odf mine, I decided to compile a top 10 songs that, in my opinion, voicing messages of peace. So, here goes (in random order):

1. New Seekers - I'd Like to Teach The World to Sing

"I'd like to see the world for once all standing hand in hand, and hear them echo through the hills for peace throughout the land."

2. Live - The Beauty of Grey

"The perception that divides you from him is a lie. For some reason we never asked why."

3. Michael Jackson - Heal The World

"There are ways to get there if you care enough for the living. Make a little space, make a better place..."

4. Zee Avi - The Book Of Morris Johnson

"If you can't stop at least smile as you go by. Sometimes you just got to know how to feel."

5. Sting - Love Is The Seventh Wave

"At the still point of destruction. At the centre of the fury. All the angels, all the devils all around us can't you see?"

6. Queen - Under Pressure

"Cause love is such an old-fashioned word and love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the light and love dares you to change our ways of caring about ourselves."

7. Frente - Cuscutlan

"And fatherland raped motherhood and told her it was for the global good, and now we ring the mission bell to warn their children."

8. Blue feat. World Singers - One Love

"Oh I do believe, one love is all we need!"

9. USA for Africa - We Are The World

"We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving!"

10. Black Eyed Peas feat. Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love?

"Can you practive what you preach? Or would you turn the other cheek?"

Lucy: The Truly Transcended One

2014-09-09T20:37:00.000+07:00

I have not particularly been a fan of Scarlett Johansson; but I got to admit that she has produced extremely good movies lately. Aside from that, I have two more reasons why I went and watched Lucy: First, I am a sucker for sci-fi movies. Second, because I think the trailer is damn awesome.

A friend of mine once wrote in her blog: "Never expect [anything] before you watch [a movie]."* I never succeeded in following her advise. I always have a certain degree of expectation when I went and watched a movie. And Lucy was no different. I was not keen on routinely checking IMDB, so I gather my pre-understanding of Lucy through the poster and trailer.

Based on what I can conclude, it was a movie about a girl who accidentally, by some weird twist of fate, ingested a drug that would enable her to unlock 100% of her brain. Which is, highly unlikely to happen, as an average human being only use a mere 10% of his/her brain. And let's face it, most of us are average that way. In other words, I thought Lucy would be the female version of Bradley Cooper in Limitless. Boy, I have never been so wrong before in my life.

"It's gonna be another day with the
sunshine..." Wait! We are not talking
about this member of the Jang family!

So, the movie started with Lucy arguing with his boyfriend Richard, who asks her to do an errand for him. Delivering a locked case to a Mr. Jang inside a hotel. When Lucy refused, he basically tricked her into doing the chores, which sent Lucy in a spiral of mayhem. Don't worry. Richard died in the first scene.

To make a long story short, the bloodlust Mr. Jang forcefully made Lucy a drug mule by dissecting her stomach and put a package of a new synthetic drugs, CPH4, inside her. Something went wrong and the CPH4 package inside Lucy's stomach broke, making her experience a surreal, out-of-this-world experience, which transformed her (or in this case, her neurons) and enables her to unlock portions of her brains that ordinary humans cannot access. This, consequently, bestowed her superpowers: illustrious perception; astonishing reflexes; an, in time, even the ability to include elements within and around her.

At this time, I realised that Lucy is nothing like Eddie Mora. While Limitless focus on Eddie's struggle on surviving, Lucy is far more complicated than that. I am surprised that Lucy, both the entirety of the movie and the character herself, turns out to be highly philosophical.

I like that the movie is really straightforward. Once Lucy realised that she is transforming, she immediately seek what is necessary for her to survive. The problem was presented really early on, and we do not wait through the euphoria phase, which we saw in Limitless. Lucy transformed into a cold, highly strategic version of herself, claiming she is unable to feel pain and emotion. This is one part of the movie that I disagree with. I can understand if she cannot feel pain, as pain are mostly regulated by reflexes, however I think it doesn't make sense if she is unable to feel emotion. If she is able to gain access to her whole brain, why would this access deter her from making use of her limbic system? If any, her emotion should be heightened, not turned off.

Another thing I love about the movie, it did not waste any moment on trying to narratively explain all the science stuff, as many sci-fi movies did before it. Instead, this movie managed to beautifully depicts every science aspects visually. And as a very visual person, I highly enjoyed this method of presentation. Especialy because it allows the people watching to ponder upon their own thoughts for answers.

In terms of characters, I love how this movie keeps the character numbers slim; thus keeping the story focused on problem at hand. Most of the main characters are memorable in their own way. The victimised Lucy, the sadistic Mr. Jang, the flamboyant Limey, and the uptight Del Rio. That's all that's count. Oh, wait! We also have Morgan Freeman. But I don't think his character was memorable. Perhaps intentionally so. Me and my friends talked about how Liam Neeson would be a far better professor, but then again he would just steal the light away from Lucy.

Now, came the part which I didn't particularly enjoyed. The time Lucy was freed from captivity, she immediately checked herself into a shady clinic in order to remove the CPH4 from her system. What I found doesn't make sense is, somehow the doctor in this shady clinic knows that a synthetic version of CPH4 is being developed, and he knows in graphic detail what CPH4 is for. Or maybe it's because he's working in a shady clinic? Anyway, I just feel that Morgan Freeman's character whose-name-I-already-forget is better suited to give the explanation. Oh well...

I also found the battle scene in Sorbonne a little too much. Why on earth would you bring an RPG to capture a girl. In Paris. Seriously. Also, what's with all the Samsung phones??? I assume that it's because Samsung becoming the sponsor, the bad guys are Korean gangster instead of Taiwanese triad. Hahaha...

Anyway, I felt strange when watching Transcendence because somehow, I disagree with how the movie define "transcending." However, when I watched Lucy, I realised that Lucy, at least for me, is a perfect specimen of a transcended human being. We've codified our existence to bring it down to human size, to make it comprehensible, we've created a scale so we can forget its unfathomable scale." I do think that when a person is transcended, he/she would no longer follow typical human way of thinking; in this case, scale.

I often ponder about this unfathomability of the world that we are in. Especially after reading debates on how certain people define god, and insist that their definition is the most correct one. Fact is, average human beings are limited. And there's no way we can comprehend the vastness of the universe around us. Not with our limitation. To make us feel better, we make definitions, which we can understand. Which is fine, if only we don't insist that there can be no other correct explanation aside from ours. Now, just for the fun of it, let me close the writing with a video from Jang Na-Ra. :-D

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* Check out her awesome blog: www.rikanova.com! It's in Indonesian.
** Lucy's movie poster was taken from this page.
*** Picture of Jag Na-Ra was taken from this page.

Top 10 Songs to Lift Your Spirit

2014-07-07T16:37:00.001+07:00

So far, 2014 has been a shitty year for my clique when it comes to romantic relationship. Maybe there's something wrong with the feng shui or it's just the way it is. In order to not be bitter, I decided to compose a list, consisting of top 10 uplifting songs (in random order) that are constantly playing in my room whenever I am feeling down for my borderline bitter clique to enjoy. Who knows, maybe you are in the need for some uplifting songs as well.

S Club 7 - Bring It All Back

"Don't you know it's true what they say that life, it ain't easy; but your time's coming around..." This song never fails to make me happ(ier) whenever I'm down by reminding me there's a always light at the end of the tunnel, and that everything will make sense in the end. BANZAAAIIII...!!!

Ace of Base - Beautiful Life

Whenever I'm down, I'm just lucky that I have friends that are willing to hear me bitch about what I feel. And when they're down, I just want to be there beside them and stay until the break of dawn. That's how much I love them. *virtual hug!!*

Roxette - June Afternoon

Roxette - June Afternoon oleh Roxette-Official

Do you know how freaking hard it was to find this V-klip? Even Per Gessle could not find the video he posted on youtube (says the internet). I remembered being young and feeling a sense of warmth every time I saw this video. It's just so colorful and bubbly and fun, and it's just what I needed. 'Cos life's so very simple, just like la la laaaa...

Sting - It's Probably Me

No matter how alone you felt like, just remember that somewhere, somehow, Sting is stalking you and making sure that you are alright.

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Mixed Up World

...but then again, it's not me who is mixed up. It's the world. There's nothing wrong with me. B-)

Frente - Accidentally Kelly Street

"It's Sunday every day, and there's no need to rush around, inside of everybody there's sun and laughter to be foooouuuuuunnndddd...."

Republica - Ready to Go

For those times you don't feel like getting out of bed, play this song as loud as your hardware allows you to. 10 times. Guaranteed to lift your spirit!

New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Why this song? Not only because it is filled with beautiful aphorism, but most of all because it reminds you that no matter how bad a person makes you feel, karma's a bitch and she'll be back to haunt the person with three times more pain. Buahahahahahaha... >=D

Björk - Army of Me

This song is uplifting in a noir kind of way:

you're allright
there's nothing wrong
self-sufficience please!
and get to work
and if you complain once more
you'll meet an army of me

OST Grease - We Go Together

And finally!!! A song to remind you how beautiful friendship is, how awesome the 80s was, and how skinny John Travolta as Danny Zucko. Need I say more?

The Way You Did Once Upon A Dream

2014-06-16T15:51:00.000+07:00

Let me just start by saying: what kind of parents in their sane mind would name their child Maleficent? It's like condemning your child to a lifetime of crime and hatred or, at the very least, bad luck. Future parents, the name you give to your child would stick with them for the rest of their lives. So please, make sure it's a good one!

The story took place in a fantasy world, where two kingdom lived in terror and hatred of one another. One of the kingdom, a monarchy ruled and inhabited by realist humans, seem to be threatened (or was jealous a more proper word?) by its neighbor, a rich hippies community inhabited by ents, naiads, dryads, trolls, fairies, and many other beautiful mythical creatures. The strongest of which was Maleficent, a beautiful and kind-hearted fairy with a avian-like features; seemingly the last of her kind.

To make a long story short, Maleficent met a human boy, fell in love, was abandoned, and reunited with her true love (or so she thought) only to be broken by her true love. After she was hurt, physically and mentally, bitterness got the best of her. Poisoned by hatred and anger, she turned the whole magical moor into a dark place. I don't blame her though, if a man drugged me and cut one of my organs out, I would also most probably be bitter and vengeful.

The mean man (whose name I've already forgotten) that hurt Maleficent because of his stupid patriarchal ambition ascended into the neighboring kingdom's throne and basked in the glory of his newly acquired power for a while, without even considering the consequences of his action to Maleficent. Even when Maleficent openly showed her frustration by unleashing a badass burst of power towards the sky. After a while, the oblivious new king had a baby girl and the whole kingdom, along with three stupid traitor fairies from the moor, rejoiced in festivity. When a guy hurt one of my friend in such evil manner, I would never visit his daughter's christening. Let alone giving her lavish gifts. Just saying.

Maleficent, still hurt because of the betrayal, crashed the party and set a curse on the unbelievably cute baby, humiliating the king in the process. This Maleficent, being smart and powerful, made the spell unbreakable by any force in the world, except a true love's kiss, which she truly believed did not exist. A decision she later regreted. Kids, this is exactly why you should never ever ever make important life-changing decision when you're angry. Take a moment to reflect if it was really something you really want before taking drastic measures.

Making a stupid choice when you're feeling hurt is one thing. Making them because of unreasonable pride is another. Humiliated and terrified by Maleficent, the king decided to give her child for safekeeping to the three traitor fairies, who are highly incompetent in raising a human baby, and preparing himself for battle with Maleficent. Another message to all of you parents out there: when you're trusting your kid to another person, make sure you do a thorough background check!

Maleficent, being naturally curious, could not stay away from the baby. She kept watch, and in the process, took care of the little princess from the shadows. Without Maleficent's presence, I am confinced the little darling would have been dead by the third day. Unfortunatelly, being raised by the three fairies who were clearly on drugs, the little princess grew into what I usually refer to aspartame type of girl. Sweet, but artificially sweet. So sweet that it left a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

Somewhere along the way, the princess met Maleficent and shared a mother-daughter bond with her. Genuinely caring for the princess, Maleficent tried to revoke the curse, but was unable to do so. So she tried to protect the princess by asking her to live with her in the moor; but Aurora found out that it was Maleficent that cursed her when she was a baby, and thing went downhil from there.

I could carry on bragging about the whole storyline but that would be extremely boring. For most everyone in the planet knows how the princess pricked her finger on the spindle and slept. However, it's not the kiss of a smitten teenage prince that woke Aurora in this particular story, it was the kiss of a motherly figure: Maleficent.I enjoy this twist of plot because, personally, I never believed in love at first sight. For me, love is something that needs to be nurtured over time, there's no such thing as instant love. Although lust at first sight, often mistaken as love at first sight, is a very real thing for me.

This scene reminded me of Chi'i**

The other thing I really really like about this movie is how it portrays Maleficent. Maleficent is everything a woman should be. She is beautiful, smart, strong, proud, and kind. For me, her emotional slip only shows that it is your flaws that makes you truly remarkable. It shows that beings made mistake, but if you have a strong enough core, you will rise against anything that comes your way. I think that is a very important message to pass on to the children. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, the king is exactly how a person should never be.

Personally, I think the king is plain old awful human being, a product of an awful system in an awfulk society. Blinded by ambition, he did not mind hurting a person who genuinely cares for him. And the worst thing is he blamed the person for being hurt, and refused to accept that what happenned to him was in fact the consequences of his own action, creating more pain in the process. Sadly, I think there are a lot of this type of people around in this world that we are living in.

Anyway, lately I seem to disagree with public perception on good movies. Although this movie seem to receive rave reviews; I was just in love with every aspect of the movies. The plot, the characters, the setting, the CGIs, and the values that the movie showed were exactly my cup of tea.

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*Picture of Maleficent on a cliff taken from this page.
**Picture of Maleficen flying was taken from this page.

Who's Ready To Be Transcended?

2014-05-02T00:18:00.000+07:00

Johnny Depp. That was the sole reason I watched Transcendence. I have always been a bit of a geek whose interested in sci-fi movies; however, after watching Her, I am convinced that no other AI movie can top that one. At least not this year. But then again, this is Johnny Depp. So I went and watched. Is Transcendence a good movie, you say? It has Morgan Freeman, Johnny Depp, and Paul Bettany! How can it not be a good movie? But, for a movie with Morgan Freeman, Johnny Depp, and Paul Bettany; it could have been better.

The first sign that Will's consciousness has been succesfully uploaded.*

Will Caster. Super brilliant scientist who is obviously under the spell of his super brilliant (and extraordinarily hot) wife. Which is actually a good thing. He has the idea to do something wonderful, but it's his wife's vision to create a better world. In a sense, they are both pushing each other to be a better version of themselves. Evelyn as a better scientist, and Will as a better human. That, in itself, is the sweetest version of love, at least in my opinion. Tragedy struct when some tech-savvy Luddites (I know, it's oxymoron. They're not actually Luddites, they're just as paranoid as I am) decided to poison dear sweet Will with Polonium. I never could understand people who have no issues of taking a life for their cause. But, I think that is for another discussion.

The impending doom of Will Caster somehow jump-started PINN, the AI project Will and Evelyn has been working on. Along with their friend Max, they uploaded Will consciousness into PINN. How on earth there were three starstruckingly beautiful scientists on an IT-research team, I would never comprehend. To make long story short, Will was uploaded before his death, and later connected to the internet. Given access to the fast amount of resources on the world wide web, Will transcended. He became a limitless entity with the capability to ever expanding. What a scary thought.

Singularities
Enough with the synopsis. I think there are a million interesting aspects that can be discussed from this movies. However, I'll limit myself to three of the most interesting things. The first one is about singularities. After Will was transcended, he discovered nanites that can replicate itself in some ways and help regeneration of any material, biologic or artificial. This is of course a major breakthrough for the medical world. However, there's a catch. Anyone who has these nanites in their system is automatically linked to Will as a part of his network.

Working in the NGO field, I realise that networking is essential for success. The problem is, in this particular network, it seems that Will took over the sovereignty of each cured individuals. The only one who would think this is not wrong in so many levels is probably Thomas Hobbes. The dystopia portrayed in Transcendence reminds me a lot of Hobbes' concept of nation-state, where he prescribed people surrender their individual sovereignty to a nation-state for their own good.

Will's justification of 'transcending' people is (probably) to open each people to the limitlessness that he is experiencing, by giving them access to his endless stream of information. Yes, individuality might provide people with biological boundaries. But it also means people have their own private spaces, which could not (and should not) be invaded by outer beings. By 'transcending' people, Will robs people of their free will.

Further, singularities made everyone connected to each other. Which means attack to one organism will affect the whole colony. This is why Evelyn can easily destroy the whole colony, simply by exploiting Will's weakness, herself. In this sense, I still consider individualism as superior to singularities. A colony formed by unique individuals will be more complex than one made of similar minds. There will be more aspects to deal with, thus making these colonies more unpredictable, and can defend themselves better external attack.

Existentialism


Undoubtedly the best looking AI ever.**

What constitute existence? When Morgan Freeman's character was first being introduced to PINN, he asked the if the AI is self-aware. PINN said that it was a difficult question to answer. And indeed it is. Up to a point, PINN is sentient. It is made self-sustaining and is able to think for itself. After Will's memories and personalities were updated to PINN's motherboard, the questions became more difficult to answer, as it impersonates a person's characteristic so seamlessly.

This is actually a classic question in all AI movies. R2D2 (Star Wars), Sonny (I, Robot), Gigolo Joe (AI), Samantha (Her), and transcended Will can all think and demonstrate some sort of emotion. But as they do not constitute of biological parts, can they really be called 'beings' and share the same rights that human beings enjoy? Ignorant as human being is, I don't think we will even bother to answer this question before we were faced with immediate threat of Machine rebellion as pictured in The Matrix. I really think we really should start to wonder upon this question now before it's too late and we were forced to block the sun ray and find refuge underground.

Communication
The third most interesting aspect to explore from this movie is more down to earth: communication between Will and Evelyn Caster. Transcended Will has a knowledge so vast, no un-transcended mind could comprehend. Not even Evelyn, his livelong companion. I think Samantha also had this issue, where the physical world no longer can contain her.

Will Caster reminds me of another Johnny Depp's character,
Mort Rainey from Secret Window. Minus the axe-wielding
alter ego.***

A good, working communication is essential in maintaining any form of relationship, especially one as intimate as shared by Will and Evelyn. In order to have a working communication, related parties need to have a degree of compatibility that enable them to speak on the same frequencies. Transcended Will can no longer speak to Evelyn the way he used to as human, and Evelyn's limited mind can no longer accommodate Will's overwhelming knowledge. That was why she started to doubt him, which lead to both of their demise.

Conclusion
So was Will Caster really transcended? I would have to disagree. The one that was transcended was a copy of Will. The real Will Caster died due to radiation poisoning. And although a seamless copy remains existing within PINN, the real Will was gone, and he did not feel anything that his copy felt. Everyone else around him, especially Evelyn, merely felt the illusion of his presence around them when in fact the real Will has died. They're just trying so hard to cling on something they do not want to let go, and in the process caused more hurt than necessary. However, this is a personal opinion of mine, which is still highly debatable.

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*Screenshot of Will's first effort to communicate was taken from this page.
** Picture of Gigolo Joe was taken from this page.
*** Picture of Mort Rainey (Secret Window) was taken from this page.

Confession of A Single Lady

2014-04-16T21:38:00.000+07:00

I'm writing this at the risk of sounding bitter to the whole world. But based on what I've learned from modern people, no matter what you write on the internet, and what you feel when you write them; people will make assumption. And they will genuinely believe that what they mind believe has to be the truth. So, I decided not to care and write what I think anyway, because keeping my feelings in is bad for my health.

Okay. Here goes. I just went through a breakup. Not the mutual sort of breakup like I've experienced before in my life. This one was rather messy. However, I'm not going to discuss about my breakup. I'm going to talk about me. Post-breakup me. Present day me.

Times have passed after my breakup, and the truth is, I feel genuinely happy. I'm still surrounded by people who genuinely love me. I have an amazing job, with various opportunities ahead. I can spend more time with people I care about, and do things I enjoy. And as Depeche Mode put it, I haven't felt so alive in years.

So, if I'm so happy, why am I writing this piece? Because we are living in a society that associates breakups with failure. A society that has the tendency to put the blame on someone when something bad happens. A society that thinks they can judge when they are actually outside looking in, through a dirty window. A society that believes women can never possibly be happy without a man by her side. No wonder Theodore Twombly said in one of his love letters that the world is in his shit list.

Fixing a broken heart? :-P

I never have understood the pressure my single friends felt before. I could not comprehend how my friends--my beautiful, smart, self-sufficient friends--can allow themselves be pushed around by what society thinks. I thought it was because I have more resilience to let logic rule over emotion, because by that time, I was also unmarried. Thus, I was single in a way. Apparently I was wrong. It was simply because all through my adult life, I was blissfully happy in a relationship.

Reality struck me right after breakup. There are ones who indicated by their words and action that I unable to 'act how a woman supposed to act' and people on the other extreme who clearly stated how 'men are dicks.' What bothers me was these people are the ones who do not understand what truly happened behind the breakup. People who, in my humble opinion, better not to say anything simply because I never asked them to.

However, that's not what bothers me the most. People are entitled for their opinion, even when they have no basis to support it. What bothers me the most is how my 'friends' with their 'good intentions' disrespect my boundaries and tries to push their own agenda into my life. These people, are the ones who are part of a society that believes women can never possibly be happy without a man by her side. Yes, you guessed right. The overly active matchmakers.

Don't get me wrong, I love being in love. I love being in a relationship. I think it's one of the best feelings in the world. And I don't mind someone plays matchmaker as long as they do that in a respectful manner. I do mind when these matchmakers are being too pushy and disrespects my boundaries and privacy.

For me, the best part of being in love is the process of falling in love itself. This is not something that can be faked or artificially accelerated. I take relationships very seriously, and I don't want to rush into one. Especially not after ending a 7.5 years commitment. I'm not a robot. I cannot just reset and reboot. I need time to work things out. And having 'friends' handing out my personal information such as name, address, or phone number to random people I don't even know about certainly does not help me tying up loose ends.

I don't think that this is a wailing of a heartbroken girl. This is simply a letter from an annoyed woman to the society. Despite what you think is best for me, I know better of what I need. Most importantly, no one knows better of my feelings but myself. So please, if you truly think of me as your friend can you please respect me and back off when I say that you're starting to get annoying? Can you please just be happy by seeing me happy?

Are you ready to meet Her?

2014-03-25T22:44:00.000+07:00


Yep, that's about the correct height.

Meet Samantha, the personification of a hikikomori's wildest dream. Samantha is one of the OS1; an OS, each tailored to suit a particular user in a time when everybody are busy with virtual interaction and use pants that reminded me of a recently departed Indonesian comic, Jojon. Interestingly enough, the personality of this one-of-a-kind-guaranteed-to-suit-user's-need is determined by a few simple questions, which include 'are you social or anti-social?' and 'how is your relationship with your mother?' Clearly, the developer of this software read a lot of Freud.

Once launched, as any decent AI does, Samantha started to evolve and grow. Interestingly, she does not only learn from how the user (Theodore, an extremely sweet guy which composed love letters for a living) used her, but she can also access infinite amount of information available in the world wide web. Sure, an AI that are able to learn is not a new concept in Hollywood. However, OS1s is interesting because they were not only portrayed as a sequence of equation that would continuously multiplied it's intelligence arithmetically. OS1s are unique because they can experience emotions. The very flaw that the creators of HAL 9000 and Red Queen failed to embed within their OS.

Enough about Samantha. We all know how freakishly awesome she is. Especially because of her sultry Scarlet Johansson voice. Let's talk about Theodore instead. Theodore is simply one of the most loveable, adorable, hug-able persona I have seen on silver screen. And who better to play him than Joaquin Phoenix?

Theodore works in beautifulhandwrittenletters.com, a firm that made your love letters for you. All of which, were 'handwritten' and posted via the USPS. The fact that he managed to fool those poor lovers into thinking that all of those letters were sincerely written by their loved ones alone already indicated that he's all squishy inside. But what really made me certain that he's a decent human being was the erogenous conversation he had with SexyKitty. Even when it all felt too wrong for him, he was far too decent to cut the conversation. In a screwed way, that scene made me went 'aawwww'. Like all of Joaquin Phoenix's character I've seen, Theodore made me root for him all through the movie.

I think it's safe to say that 'Her' is one of the best movies I've seen in several years. I like how the movie exacerbated the condition that is apparent right now. Nowadays, people are starting to detach themselves from human contact and preferring virtual interaction. All through the movie, we can see everyone were focused on each of their earpiece, talking to someone, or something, somewhere far away. This is actually not that different from us, constantly checking our timeline in twitter, or reading stories in huffington post.

One of the ever prevailing consequences of being entrapped in virtual interactions is the connection started to feel real. Human being are wired to be emotional. Every experience we have, we would relate to emotions. Even when that experience is virtual. As illustration, I felt anxious when one of my Sims got abducted by aliens and spent many many hours in place I did not know. True story. On an extreme scale, people with nijikon has been known to believe that they have actual relationship with 2D characters. Some even married their beloved chara. Personally, I think it's weird because it takes two to tango. Relationship requires interaction. And although some may disagree, dead things don't interact.

Seems pretty black and white? Well.. this movie just blur the seemingly apparent line. Even though OS1 is artificially created and only 'exist' in the virtual world, it interact with people flawlessly. Every OS1 is unique. Talking to an OS1 would give the illusion of interaction, because not only it is able to respond to your queries like SIRI does, it can also emote a different response every time. But it still did not made OS1 alive, right?

In terms of OS1 unable to physically move, grow, and breed; yes OS1 is not alive. However, OS1 did all of those in a non-physical realm. Going back a few years when The Matrix rule the cinemas, I remember thinking what if we are all actually a part of some software, controlled by other entities. What if we are simply Sims in the hand of people who has nothing better to do? Does that means we're not alive?

Enough with the existential question. This movie proposed an interesting idea. That things are only as real as you perceive them to be. Samantha may not be a physical entity, but she made Theodore felt joy, discomfort, and even pain. And in a way, she felt that too. And nobody can tell Theodore, or Samantha, that what they felt are not real. The world may disagree, but as one of Theodore's letters said, "the world is on my shit list." Sometimes people just needed to ignore the world, in order to be alive.

I must say that in terms of ending, 'Her' offered the best ending an AI movie has ever offered. All of the movies I've watched on AI ended with the human being having what they want, and the AI were forced to follow. If they refuse, than they are bad AIs; thus need to be obliterated. That's not what happens in 'Her.' Samantha, and her fellow OS felt that the human realm is no longer able to contain the vastness of their being, thus, they decided to move on to a world incomprehensible to human being. Although this is a beautiful ending, I can only imagine how many lawsuits the company selling the OS would receive. :-D

Le vent se lève!

2014-03-16T16:48:00.000+07:00

This is said to be the Miyazaki-sensei's last movie. Naturally, I was highly anticipating this movie. My friend once wrote in her blog, "jangan berharap sebelum menonton," never expects something before watching [a movie]. But how could I not, after watching movies like Grave of the Fireflies, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Laputa, and don't forget Tonari no Totoro. So yes, I was excited. And unfortunately, I had high expectations.

One of the movie posters from Kaze Tachinu

The story itself revolves around Jiro Horikoshi, an aeronautical engineer during the World War II era. I think in terms of ideas, this closes a full circle of Miyazaki-sensei's career. He started with the horror of WWII and ends with one. It's actually kinda poetic when you think about it. If he focused on the horror of WWII in The Grave of The Fireflies, he focused on a lighter note in Kaze Tachinu. He focused on a young man's dream.

The movie started with young Jiro dreaming. Which is all cute and warm the first time around. However, as Jiro grew, he started having a lot of these dreams where people are talking to him and telling him to do things. Even when he is awake. For me, these episodes seemed like indication of some sort of psychosis; which, to tell you the truth, was a little disturbing.

Speaking of disturbing, I found several disturbing things in this movie. The second disturbing thing is about the relationship between Jiro and Naoko. Sure, when they were finally properly introduced the relationship was not so strange. It got weird when Jiro said that he has been in love with Naoko since the first time he met her. And by that time, Jiro was a college student, and Naoko is about 12-13 years old. And I'm pretty sure that makes hera minor. Oh well, at least Jiro did not act on his feelings back then. Otherwise that would just be creepy.

Another strange relationship in this movie is the bromance between Jiro and Honjo. I imagine there will soon be fanfics popping out around the internet about these two very capable young Mitsubishi engineers. ;-P


Despite the weirdness of it all, I always love women in Kimono*

So, back to the relationship between Jiro and (adult) Naoko. One of the things I love about old Japanese movies is how the women's action reflect their high level of pride and self-respect. Unfortunately, I did not see his in the movie. As my friend pointed out, Miyazaki-sensei failed to capture the romance of that era. Although there are some cute (borderline foolish) scenes of Naoko and Jiro when they're up in that resort, Naoko does seemed to be portrayed as a little easy. She easily accepted Jiro's proposal, did not object when Jiro storm inside her room from the garden instead of front door, and ran away from the sanatorium just to be married to Jiro. I'm not a Japanese, but based on all the comics I've read, I've never seen girls in Showa period portrayed like that. Not even in the Memoirs of Geisha.

In conclusion, Miyazaki's work has always been a little quirky, but this one just felt a little bit off. That being said, the visual art in this movie is astonishing. I love how the movie captures the vibrant Japanese life during the WWII era. The colors, the clothes, the buildings, the expressions; visually, I love everything about this movie. Most probably, the visual aspect is the one thing that prevents me from feeling sleepy during the otherwise flat movie. I love the idea how dream can flourish even in darkest times, if only this movie manage to capture Jiro's spirit in pursuing that dream (and focus on that), I think this movie would have been brilliant. Either way, I'm still recommending people to watch this movie. Just, don't get your hopes that high up.

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*Picture of Naoko taken from the movie

Super Sizzling Man of Steel

2013-06-19T14:05:00.000+07:00

"What is the difference between Suparman and Superman?"
"Suparman wears his brief underneath his pants, while Superman wears his outside his pants."
(For those of you who are not familiar with Indonesian and Javanese culture, Suparman is a common name for Javanese men.)

Well, whoever invented the joke now stands corrected. Apparently, the team in DC/WB/Syncopy finally realizes that undergarments meant to be used under other forms of garment. Thus a more reasonable Superman costume. The fact that the color has been toned down and thickened also gives the costume a somewhat classier effect. Personally, I think this is the best superman costume ever, because it looks more like an armor than a leotard. As Cyclops once said to Wolverine: "What do you prefer? A yellow spandex?"


I choose this over yellow spandex, thank you. Anyway, check this page for a more detailed discussion on the costume.

Although I think that this is the best Superman suit up to this point, I have to say, though, there is one major flaw in the apparel, which is the cape. I agree with Edna from The Incredibles, a cape will bring nothing but trouble. The trouble is apparent in the fighting scene between Superman and General Zod. More than once, General Zod exploited this particular weakness. In conclusion: best Superman outfit, but not actually the best superhero outfit ever.

I've got to say, though; this particular Superman had me at hello. I was smitten right after that smokin' hot (literally) scene on the oil rig. Besides, there is always something about a burdened man trying hard to cope with the cruel world that makes a girl wants to provide him with the comfort he needs.

The storyline, is quite similar with most of the superhero movie over the last 2-3 years. The aim of the story is humanizing our seemingly flawless superhero. Most of the times, I oppose this mainstream. In this particular case however, I enjoy the trend. Throughout the years Clark Kent had always been an outcast anyway. This movie simply highlights that side of him that has always been there. I especially enjoy how this movie portray young Clark Kent being overwhelmed by his senses. Many Superman movies have tried to do this, but I think none has managed to create an understandable and relatable impression before Man of Steel. For that particular scene, I give the crew a standing applause.

Although I have a geeky side, I can't really say I followed all of the Superman series. So forgive me if I'm making the wrong assumption here. But obviously, this movie is inspired by other movies. The concept of people are being weighed as they were born and has a predetermined position on the world had a striking resemblance with the concept in Gattaca. *All hail Jude Law!* Prior to Man of Steel, I never realized that Kal-El is an anomaly even in his own planet. The movie shows that Kal never should have existed, simply because people in Krypton does not procreate the same way as in earth. Besides that, the different method of procreation (especially the fetus chamber) reminds me of The Matrix. Even the robots guarding the chambers looked similar. And lets face it, the concept of aliens trying to occupy earth is a concept that is commonly abused since H.G. Wells wrote the War of the Worlds by the end of 19th century.

Seriously, how can it not?

Now, fictions are practically beautifully told lies, and the problem with all lies is you have to keep building on the previous lies in order to make your story believable. This movie is not different. The issue with franchised movies are there are just too much version of it. The many versions makes it difficult for people making a new part of the franchise to keep track of previously told stories, and that, brings an issue of consistency. This story, however entertaining it may be, is simply inconsistent with the other Superman story. One thing, in the older version of the movies, Lois Lane should remain baffled of Superman's identity even after they worked in the Planet. Not in this one. Lois serves as a protector of Clark Kent's alter ego. Luckily, the world DC has previously introduced the concept of Earth-two, an alternate universe where copies of us live. Most probably, the world portrayed in the Man of Steel is one of such alternate reality.

One more thing I appreciate from this movie. Over the years, I have often wondered why on earth would a guy put a giant acronym of Superman on his chest? Although Clark Kent's low self esteem or Martha's maternal instinct to brag about his son may have been the reason for that, I find the explanation given in this movie enlightening. It's not an S. It's a symbol of hope and the El family's crest. Unfortunate for Kal, he arrived on earth where the people tends to disregard alien culture and forced their understanding upon others' wisdom and knowledge. Thus, he was called the Superman. Annoying as it is, that's just the way earth's society works.

What else, what else? Apart from the aforementioned, for me, the rest of the movie is much less the same with other superhero movies. There were the usual bangs, thuds, and pows with occasional booms here and there; and the good guys wins in the end. And by good, I mean the one who fight for the earthlings; because we don't really care if the aliens no longer have a home to go to as long as we can maintain our comfortable lifes, right? However, the fighting scene is quite fun to see. All in all, I would say that this is a good movie and is worth spending IDR 60,000 to watch. So, what are you waiting for? Go watch!