Everquest Daily Grind: MMORPG Infinity (no beyond)

2008-03-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking a little while ago about how running seems to be one of my latest obsessions... or addiction, if you will. Of course, to me it doesn't quite seem that way, but the strange looks that I am getting from people on the street or in their cars for running on the street in snowy, icy conditions at nosehair-freezing temperatures attests to the fact that OTHERS are certainly thinking that I may be a little... well, you get the point.

Now here is the kicker though... yes, I am running about 4 times a week, so it can certainly be compared to another obsessive hobby that I used to have (namely, EQ) - but that's where the similarities end. Running: between 1-2 hours each session, so at most 8 hours a week of actual running; then count in about 30 minutes each for stretching; on average about 1-2 hours a week maintaining my running blog, reading running news or browsing running items online; 30 minutes a week a emailing my running buddies. So now we have a high end range of ... 12.5 hours a week! Woa, mama!

Actually, not really? It's rather pitifully minimal compared to the 30-50 hours a week I would put into MMOGs during my heydays.

If I actually spent 40-50 hours doing running stuff, I doubt I'd still be alive and kicking. I can't imagine being out and about running for 16 hours a day... I can't even imagine doing that every weekend day, like I used to do with EQ on a regular basis.

So now what do I do with the rest of the time I have? Watching TV (sometimes it's nice to be passively entertained), cooking, reading, browsing junk on the Internet, playing guitar, debating with friends, writing ... the point that I am trying to make here is that I am doing such a variety of activities that won't make me an expert in much, admittedly, but that certainly keeps me more sane and responsive to the external world than sitting in front of the computer every bloody single minute that I have to myself. I still like D&D, I still like the Internet, I still like to try out new games. Just not MMOGs, because of all the computer games I have tried, none have left me as grouchy, mentally checked out and low in feelings of self worth as MMOGs have. The latter is just a god-awful feeling... have you ever felt it?

Let's face it: You are spending 10-20 hours a week on your MMOG of choice? Move along, you likely have little to worry about MMOGs impacting your well-being negatively. 30-50 hours a week? It's time to stop being such a fierce defender of your game existence and insist that it's yo choice to live your life, buddy. After all, you're not ACTUALLY fighting for the last tree on earth. Or trying to find the cure to save the world from Armageddon.

At best, you are only harming yourself. At worst, you are causing some heavy-duty damage on others who rely on you being in this world.

P.S.: And before you start thinking that it is "only" time that is the difference here, think again... time is limited and at the same time pervasive in all aspects of our lives - the length (and sure, the type) of your commitment to a particular aspect of your life and the combination of those commitments shapes who you are as a person.

2008-03-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well, happy belated new year! Not to give the impression that I am a) bored with blogging, b) there are just no new stories about MMOG issues, c) MMOG has overtaken the world like a big brother ... I guess it's just that I am bored with the fact that we as a mass have not gotten any closer to understanding just what is happening to people around us. Although, I have to admit, I found my new favourite term -

pop culture escapism

(or to paraphrase it "nicely",
internal emigration to mass appeal platforms)

Really sums it up nicely for me. Do you have mostly positive or negative feelings associated with pop culture and / or escapism?

A while ago I was interviewed about this blog for a documentary, and although, admittedly, some of my gut reactions definitely results from hurt feelings of vanity ("what? I wasn't interesting enough to be further investigated?"), I cannot help but also feel that some of my ambivalence towards the documentary stems from the fact that the motivations behind the documentary were somewhat obfuscated during the making, leaving me to question whose good it was for in the first place. I guess I wasn't the intended audience as this was clearly for the uninitiated newbie for whom the online gaming world was a shiny ball of vapour. I was hoping for something more. Then again, I seem to be thinking that a lot recently.

2007-11-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

MMOGs and Crime

I guess the recent news about "Baby Grace" (see http://www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?p=41926890 and countless other articles) really was just another instigator in stirring the ever-popular topic of MMOG and really bad behaviour.

Hey, looking at this blog, you can easily blame me to be biased when it comes to crimes committed by people who play MMOGs. The truth is that I'm rather sick of all the forth and back between gamers, media and non-gamers.

Well, guess what? You're all wrong. I don't think that whether someone is on or offline committing a crime should have any bearing... it's actually more distracting talking about something that happens when you have sheep bleeping in one corner "MMO made XYZ kill ABC!" with the other sheep bleeping in the other corner "MMO doesn't kill people, people kill people!"

Why isn't ANYONE coming out and saying the only solution to this is prevention, and that in order to prevent, researchers and social scientists and law makers HAVE TO look at the behaviour and thinking of those perps. And if their life tends to be spent mostly online, well, that means that anyone should have access to all those files so this can be properly investigated, analysed AND communicated to the greater public. Virtual online worlds are perfect places to collect information, since (unlike real life), all activity, types statements and even audio can and is recorded.

As important, if there are specific behaviour patterns online can be tied to subsequent violence / misdemeanour, the same level of alerts, communications, access to authorities and support should be available online than in real life.

Just because someone lives most of their life online doesn't mean that they should be protected by the game before something bad happens in real life. Just saying.

2007-07-31T10:52:00.001-07:00

Going a bit generalist here for a moment, so bear with me (or just ignore this) ...

I recently spoke to a good friend of mine who was (aside from being a physics post-doc) decided to devote much of her time to a more social cause... after our usual frantic catching-up-on-things, we realized that we were both in the search of a way to make sense of a large amount of unstructured text (or in my case, stories). Traditional social science research tools such as surveys (many of them self-selecting), interviews and observation logs are only one perspective - with the Internet, we suddenly have access to much more qualitative data out there, and most of them are not even solicited but submitted voluntarily.

Standard (free) qualitative software - well, I have done some word frequency analysis, and there are probably ways to do more correlational stuff with the data - still, I'm sure much more could be done if we had software do manipulate these types of data visually. I have found some promising research in this area but here is where the other problem comes up: funding and time. Quite frankly, social studies outside the academic environment (and even within the academic environment) are just not desirable targets for funding, unless its results can be used to further political, economic or other profitable agendas. Who cares if a large number of people find reality miserable and hindering enough to want to constantly escape into a virtual world? Who cares if the majority of women in the world are still actively discouraged and stopped from getting education? Who cares if "laziness" and "criminal tendencies" are still blamed for poor living conditions and poverty? Who care as long as corporations can still make a living selling subpar products to consumers and continue to raise profits by downsizing people and cutting environmental corners?

I realize this has somewhat turned into a full-fledged rant, so I'll stop here. Instead I'll start doing a little prayer every night that some day, at least a few semi-intelligent people will become influential enough to support and create a platform where research studies will be funded based on how much they will improve the well-being of the world at large, both on the scientific and the social side.

2007-05-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Something funny happened on the way away from EQ... I discovered how much there is to do in rl. Not trying to act sarcastic or all-knowing here - I thought I already found out how much there is to living life outside of the online worlds when I started this blog but here we are 3 years later, and it's only become more apparent. I just moved to a new place recently and sometimes I try to imagine how life would be if I was still trying to play MMOGs while doing all the things I'm doing now - I cannot imagine it because - to be frank - it would be impossible.

I find myself further removed from MMOGs than ever before - which isn't ideal for this blog. Sure, it's done a heckload for me but I feel slightly guilty for not being able to keep this going as strongly as I would have liked. There are still so many things that could be done to look into and study the impact of MMOGs on society but wanting to do it and finding the time are worlds apart.

I am posting this in the hopes that someone out here might read this and feel that they still have much to contribute to this area and would like to give it a try. I started this blog 3 years ago with the intention of surfacing these stories and giving readers a chance to reflect and make choices. I have been lucky to exchange emails with quite a few bright, insightful and humble people who were smarter than to fall into the trap of thinking in black&white terms only. And it's made me happy to see that others have gone through the same kind of aha experience I had and decided to take charge of their own lives.

I think I have done as much as I could for now and hopefully will be able to do more in the future, but for now, I'd like to hand over part of the reigns to someone who has more energy and time than me :)

P.S.: Gamerwidow's done a great job compiling and indexing stories they've had on the forums so I'll provide the link here - http://www.gamerwidow.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=368

2007-02-06T14:44:00.000-08:00

Interesting little article ... even more interesting are the comments it's kind of nice to know discussions like these aren't solely dominated by people with one-sided tunnel vision anymore.... My take? Learn how to communicate with each other (and I mean talking beyond the topics like tv, games, celebrities or kids) and focus on being happy in real life and all these issues probably will less likely manifest themselves anyways. Otherwise, don't even try being in a relationship.

2007-02-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

Here is a link to WoW Detox (http://www.wowdetox.com), an anonymous confessional forum.

2007-02-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

From what I have seen, this is one of the rare well-nuanced articles about MMOGs and their impact on rl - in this specific case, it's Second Life and the implications of online affairs - a second life blog entry titled "YOUR CHEATING HEART"

2007-02-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

And the beat goes on...

The mainstream MMOG flavor of the moment is WoW, and many of the stories of those MMOG obsession have centered around that game over the past year.

Now it looks like Sony has a contender on the market: Vanguard, just released on January 30, 2007. That's 3 days only ago. Interestingly enough, I did not find out about it from reading MMOG press releases and lurking on MMOG community boards. No. I found out from partners of former EQ gamers who have already noticed the impact of this new MMOG within 2 days.

2 days? This is going to be interesting - too quick a reaction or a sign of more to come? Who knows... but meanwhile, I will try to obtain the rights to post the stories here.

2007-01-30T13:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the obvious really doesn't hit you in the face until someone else brings it up. I am not a big fan of main media reporting about "MMOG addiction" because either the issues get dumbed down or it is painfully clear that a hidden agenda prevails.

Apparently the "addicted to WoW" has made it to the daily talkies via Tyra Banks which (going back to the obvious) made me realize that I had not thought of searching YouTube for clips MMOG gamers and / or their friends may have made already. So rather than giving you the embedded video for the talkshow segment, here is a link showing the results from my search on "addicted to world of warcraft" and "wow addiction". Look and judge for yourself. Has the time come when partners and friends of out-of-control MMOGers can show what they are going through?

Interestingly enough, searches on everquest did not yield that much.

2007-01-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

First Life - a parody of the Second Life MMOG

And the creator's blog entry

2006-10-21T22:06:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I have stopped posting any stories for a while. No, the stories haven't stopped, I have due to the fact that I have too many other things to do at the moment. I am hoping to be able to pick it up again some time in the future; meanwhile, if someone else would like to post any or write something, email me at eqdailygrind@hotmail.com.

Onto something else: Two recent blog entries ...

View From the Top (October 17, 2006) - The preamble:
"The top of what you ask? The height of World of Warcraft greatness.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine quit playing Warcraft. He was a council member on what is now one of the oldest guilds in the world, the type of position coveted by many of the 7 million people who play the game today, but which only a few ever get.

When he quit, I asked him if he would write a guest blog post about the experience. What follows is a cautionary tale about the pull an escape from reality can have on you."

From Tom's "Practical Philosophy" (October 7, 2006) - Accompanying email extract:
"I was going to write something on MMORPGs in the past, but frankly I just ran out of steam - the whole issue is so embedded in the irrationality of an individual's decisions that it's hard to generalise and come up with common themes, other than the most obvious (and therefore least edifying) ones.

However, I have linked above to something that I vomited out after reading a slightly annoying news article. I have come to reckon that we play online games not just to have fun in being who we want, but in living in a world in which we are free to 'read' others however we will - a place where our bitterness can spill everywhere, our prejudices fly freely, and where nothing can give us food for thought if we don't interpret it as useful."

2006-09-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

Here is an email that was sent to me a while back:

"A friend whose spouse was addicted body and soul to the online games you discuss piqued my interest in your site. I don’t know much about said games, but I know “Second Life” is one of them. The fact that BBC is actually renting out a virtual island in a game and a well-known band is giving a virtual show strikes me as surreal.

Here’s the link to the BBC Article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/5253782.stm"

2006-09-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

real-life me < online me?

I've always had a feeling that the curiousity about trying out a new identity (or identities) might be closely connected to the feeling of self-worth and ultimately, self-love. I never really theorized about this much, however, until yesterday, after watching some Internet psychologist talk about this. So - is it true, do we really create these virtual identities of ourselves because we think that our real-life manifestation is, pardon, simply too crappy?

Well, ok, so there may be a "doh" reflex coming straight out of your mouth. But really, spend some time thinking about these questions...

Given a chance to save a life, would you save that of your virtual self or your physical-world self?

If you had won the lottery (say, 21 billion jackpot), would you prefer receiving it online or in real-life? Where would you enjoy spending it the most?

In your death, would you believe a eulogy about you to be better in the real or the virtual realm?

2006-08-04T04:35:00.000-07:00

Here is an email I received recently - I posted the email and name at the poster's request:

"Thank you very much for creating the Everquest Daily Grind blog. Like
alot of the stories that you posted, I too was an Everquest addict. I
wasted almost two of my college years becoming a zombie in front of
the monitor and came to myself before failing out all together. Since
then I have held a steady job, built up a savings account, avoided
video games entirely for a year, and about to get married to a
wonderful woman. The problem I am finding is the roots of my
addiction is still intact and sometimes feel it tugging at me. After
reading some of the harrowing accounts of married couples on your
blog, I feel that I can better resist and ignore the tug.

Once again, thank you and best regards."
- Raed Noor

2006-06-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

"i ... have been married for 9 months. my husband is a total addict. i am also 3 months pregnant. it's hard for me because every night my husband plays for 5-6 hours and on the weekend he probably plays 6-10 hours.
every time i ask him to stop playing he get very angry and defensive and tells me not to control him. he tells me to be independent and do things on my own. he says that we don't have to do everything together. i don't want to do everything with him, but it would be nice to have a meaningful conversation once in awhile, and spend time together after work since we both work all day. he does not have much interest in the baby so far, and i am worried that after it is born, he will remain the same and play the game while i am struggling to work and take care of the baby. i feel that he is selfish and puts his own interests first. the past couple of night i have laid in bed crying because i feel like we have a dysfunctional marriage and i am very unhappy about it. i feel like i married the wrong person and i think about divorce. it is scary but if this is how he is going to live his life then i cannot put up with it. there is no compromising with him, and it is driving me insane."

2006-05-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

The following post is not anonymous, at the poster's request. Thank you!

"I just found your amazing blog yesterday. I have been reading it like an addict. I wanted to share my story, which needless to say is still in progress.

I am a documentary film maker. In January my business partner proposed the idea of making a movie about MMORPGs. I thought it was a good idea. I had just read the New York Times article, Ogre to Slay: Outsource to China about game farming. I was fascinated by the economies and social networks that were being created in these games. While I had played a bit of Starcraft and Diablo's 1 and 2, I was not an avid gamer. I knew to make this movie I would have to discover what made gamers tick. I decided to join the multitudes in WoW and see what it was all about.

At first I had really lofty ambitions. I recorded myself playing the early stages of the game, much like Morgan Spurlock in Supersize Me. I thought I was going to use my journey through the game as the underlying story of my film. How wrong I was. For the first week, I made dutiful video journal entries several times a day. After a few days I learned one of my best friends from high school was playing on a different server, so I started over again to play with him. By the second week of playing I had stopped shaving, I had started smoking marijuana to ease the long hours of tedium, and I had stopped making video entries. I think I stopped making the video about myself, because I was too embarrassed by what I was becoming. By week three I was hopelessly addicted to both weed and wow. Judging from my high school friend's experience, the two go hand in hand for many people.

While I was playing WoW, I was also supposed to be finding people to interview for the documentary. I placed adds in local casting papers and web pages. I got many responses that ranged from people who had met and fallen in love to people who had become hopelessly addicted. They were all very exciting leads, but I was playing WoW so much I took forever replying to the people who had written. I let all of the great leads slip through my fingers as I sprinted to LvL 40 to get my mount. Soon enough I was doing nothing for my movie and everything for my character.

My business partner began to wonder why I had nothing to show for my efforts besides a Priestess in WoW. At first I lied to him, and would tell him I did things I had not done. It felt like the only thing I was doing well was playing WoW. It was the only time I was happy. I tried writing some of the experts that I wanted to interview, but I would get total writer’s block after a few sentences. I felt like I would fail at anything besides WoW. I didn’t send one email to a potential subject for several weeks.

My partner is also my best friend. I couldn’t continue to lie to him without feeling really guilty and afraid I might lose his trust forever. Finally I told him the truth: I was failing us. I tried to get out of my rut, but that is when I realized I was severely depressed. I couldn’t wake up in the morning. I couldn’t speak to outsiders about my life. I found myself getting high at 10 in the morning and getting lost in WoW for the next 10 hours every day. My partner was very patient with me, because he saw how down I was. I am not sure I would have climbed out of my whole without a kick in the pants.

As luck would have it I got a major kick in the pants. My company got an intern. But this wasn’t just any intern. He had been a camper of mine at summer camp several years before, and he had really looked up to me. I guess it was vanity that saved me. I couldn’t bear him seeing me in that state. I wanted him to think I was a success and that he wasn’t wasting his time with some stoner gamer who was severely depressed. About a week before he started I did the first sane thing I had done in a long time, I went to the doctor confessed my addictions and depression. He immediately prescribed me an anti-depressant. It was the first time in my life I ever took one of them. I must say they work quite well, even if I hate the side effects. My urges to play WoW dropped immediately. I stopped getting high 3 or 4 times a day. When my intern arrived I took another big step. I started commuting to my partner’s apartment to work every day. Being in actual face to face contact with my friends and peers was very good for me. While two months ago I had been unable to send one email in two weeks, one day last week I sent 24 originally composed emails. The interviews subjects have been pouring in.

I still play WoW several days a week, but I have much less patience for the game. I am totally burnt out after playing one instance. I do not play more than 2 or 3 hours in a day. I have also begun role playing much more. I find role playing to be much more fun, creative, and fulfilling. I think it helps me separate the game fantasy from my real life. At least for now I am in control of my WoW urges.

In my copious research on MMO’s I have found countless divergent stories. The flip side of my story is that I have totally reconnected with my old high school friend. I think MMO’s are an amazing for keeping in touch over long distance. I have spoken to someone who plays nightly with their mother and brother across the country. They are closer now then they ever were. I have found some one else who plays one night a week with his in-laws. It has given him a chance to forge a strong friendship with his father in-law that he did not have before. I have found another family that plays together with their 6 year old child to teach him financial management, cooperation, and goal setting. I know of another woman who uses WoW to take her mind the chronic pain she felt as a result of a spinal injury. These are all really good things that happen in MMO’s.

One of the most telling stories I have discovered is that of an addict, a heroine addict. He used Star Wars Galaxies to overcome his addiction while his friends failed to do the same with rehab and methadone clinics. He was able to find new friends in the game who were not forcing him into unhealthy situations. In the end he credits these games with saving his life, and he is not other only one who used these games in that way. If I had to choose between a video game addiction and a heroine addiction, I would choose the games any day. I know there are people who would say not to fight one addiction with another, but many times it is a choice between life and death. While he played games constantly while he was getting off heroine, now he has his gaming and his life under control.

Before tobacco became cigarettes it was considered a powerful medicine by native people across all of the Americas. I have no doubt that many people would have credited it with saving their lives. Tobacco is not good or evil and neither are MMO’s. They both have their dangers, but they both have their benefits as well. It is all about how you use them. The movie I am making will tell both these stories. In the end MMOs are not going away. They are growing. They might very well represent the future of our society. That is why I am making this movie. I want to present a balanced view of MMO’s so people can decide for themselves whether or not to get involved.

I want to interview people who let MMO’s control their lives. Any number of stories on this forum communicate how powerful and dangerous these games are. If you would like to share your story to help others steer clear of game addiction, please get in contact with me. You can reach me at brauer@purewestmedia.com. If you have any questions about my company please visit my web page at www.pwdocs.com. This forum demonstrates the dangers of MMO’s like no other. It has really opened my eyes and changed the way I plan on making my film."

and more specifics about his request to interview people for his documentary:

"Looking at your blog has made me take gaming addiction way more seriously. I always knew it was real and problematic, but I never realized the scale of the problem until I read your blog. Also I realized that gaming addiction recovery was a phenomenon that a lot of people were experiencing. I knew I always wanted to talk about gaming addiction, but now I want to include much more about the subject.

I guess you can include my email in the post. I really want people to contact me if they are willing to be interviewed about their experience with addiction. I would especially like to find some one who is just beginning the process of quitting. I want to follow their story as they grapple with addiction."

2006-05-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I'm kind of in awe: Carl Sagan's son referring to eqdailygrind? Surreal. Incidentally (or not?), his sci-fi novel published in 2006 is called "Everfree".

And here's an interesting term I peaked off of the twoplustwo forum: Poopsock.

2006-05-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

"Dear eqdailygrind,

This is my story:

I am a student attending ... who has always been an industrious and ambitious person. Unfortunately, my boyfriend introduced me to Everquest and I played this with him because we could spend 'quality' time with each other. It was highly addictive, and I found myself skipping class to play and gain that extra level. It occupied all my time, and I couldn't do any chores in the house, all I did was eat and play. Studies were pushed to the night before the exam, and my academics slowed down. I started dropping classes and I was subject for dismissal, which means you can get kicked out of school. My hopes and dreams were smashed. Several times I tried to quit but my boyfriend wouldn't let me. I was angry that he introduced me to MMORPG in the first place, and now he won't even let me quit until we reached the maximum level. But I think deleting the character doesn't work, because the game haunts you. All I could think about was playing. Finally, I came to a point where I thought, is my future really worth gaming all my life? Do I intend to sit in front of the computer all day, at my parent's home, until I'm in my 30s? No. So I told my boyfriend, I will break up with him if he doesn't quit, and we decided to work it out. Now, I have successfully quitted Everquest and my boyfriend plays much rarely. The key is to realize that gaming is AN ADDICTION. You need to sit down and realize it's not YOU who's playing anymore, it's the ADDICTION talking, the ADDICTION playing. I have succeeded, and you can too."

2006-05-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

"Well, after playing 2 years. I finally did it. I quit WoW. I deleted my characters, my WoW, and my subscription. My friends asked me why I deleted all of the characters, and I told them the sad truth. I had to. The game is addicting, and it is hard to pull away from, even for the short bit that I did recently to quit. If I didn't delete them, I would reinstall, and resubscribe to pay my money to Blizzard. Docking in 60 hours a week of the game, while I was still in highschool, I realised, atleast for a moment, was way too much. So I immediatly pulled the plug while I had the clarity. Now I can go out every weekend, see my friends more, and actually do my schoolwork. And I can say that I do this, without really meaning 'Yeah, I went to the movies once last month... or maybe it was the month before that.'"

Finally free of this technological Heroine"

2006-04-24T11:50:00.000-07:00

"my husband ... plays Everquest. He stopped for a while before we were married (I threatened to leave) I thought this was a video game? It seems that all his free time is wrapped up in it.
I just want to cry.
Can you offer any help or information. He gets livid when I suggest time constraints or quitting. We had a baby 7 months ago and he sits her on his lap while he plays and calls this his quality time. Are we forcing him into this world? As a former participant was it the lack of a satisfying reality that caused your retreat to a virtual world?"

2006-04-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

A new email from the one who brought you "I don't really. I just play it." (thanks!)

[Some of the comments contain profanity - you are hereby warned...]

"I sent an email about WoW to my best friend and my little brother, because I like to keep in contact with crazy things that I dredge up. It concerns some 'player justification' about playing MMORPGs after the famous death of Snowly. There are plenty of addicts stories that I know of - including especially your excellent blog! - but what I want to find out more about is what players say about continuing to play even thought they know of the problems to do with the games, in order that I may construct my essay.
Also in this email is stuff about the recent ambushed funeral controversy. I thought about cutting it out because I am pretty sure you'll know all about it, but there's an offchance it may add to your understanding of the issue. Or you may not even know about it. If the latter is the case, I am sorry for introducing you to this rather questionable example of online life.

This is the text of the email I sent:

Remember when the person behind the character 'Snowly' died playing World of Warcraft? Have just found this interesting blog post about it:

However, I don't see this as a reason to bash these games. Clearly the addictive nature of these games are a risk from a productivity and health perspective, but I think that the sense of responsibility and teamwork that is built by the games exceeds this cost...
http://joi.ito.com/archives/2005/11/04/funeral_in_world_of_warcraft.html

I found that page because I was looking out for the recent 'ambushed funeral'
controversy. Here is what happened:
http://cvirus.foolab.org/?p=33
"Apparently, some dude dies in real life who is a popular World of Warcraft player. The people in the game think it would be nice to have a memorial for the player so they log into his account, take the character to a lake, and set it up for everyone to come pay their respects.
"A bunch of dudes decide this would be a great time to ambush everyone so they run over a hill, kill the dead guy’s character, and then wipe out everyone who was there to show their respects. They filmed the whole thing and put it on the net for everyone to see.
"Here’s the Video … ITS FUCKEN HILARIOUS :D LOOOOOOOOOL :D"

Some comments from that page:
"that was the fucking best video ever. those funeral bitches got pw000ned like the n00bs they are. fuck them and fuck their dead video game friend. my condolences to the real dead person though."
"That video rocked. The MMO community is the worst in gaming, and I’m not referring to the guys who raided. They rock for teaching those MMO-obsessed no-lifers a hard lesson about how video games and real life should never mix, and all people who feel the least bit of sympathy for the morons who had their little boohoo sob story broken up need to get off of the internet once in awhile."
"hahaha, i think tis the funniest goddam thing iv ever seen. how pathetic really aswell.. holding a virtual funeral. yes i feel for the victim but really… how
nerdish can u get.."

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=212276
"See, I'm an actual WoW player and i'm in two halves about this. One half of me says that it was cruel, disrespectful and completely distasteful - someone died after all! I've seen the aftermath of this and everything, there's an even bigger file around. The memorial took place after the ambush happened again anyway. One the other hand, i thought it was superb, especially the video we just saw and its editting. I'd be lying if i said i didn't at least chuckle. If i knew someone who had died in the game and there was a memorial, i'd definitely attend, no doubt, just as a sign of respect for something that they were clearly passionate about before their passing. But game or no game, people have completely overlooked the fact that someone actually died in real life...that's the saddest part about it."

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?s=313557dbfa5adbd8aab43be72942e2ea&t=255837
"IIRC part of the motivation for the attack was that the horde repeatedly requested that the alliance not interfere. People who pvp and grief and stuff really can't resist attacking someone who is begging them not to."

What this last post says is that "it's hard not to crash a virtual funeral when you've been asked not to do it". Just like "it's hard not to break the law against murder when people keep reminding you"."

2006-04-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

New email, short'n sweet: "Reading your blog inspired me. I logged onto my main character and tabulated the total time played in terms of 40 hour work weeks. I've spent 5 months of 40 hours/wk playing my main character in WoW. I just deleted all my characters, gold, game files, and destroyed the CDs."

2006-04-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

"... mine and my husbands story is almost identical to the March 14th post. We both found it incredibly eerie that I happened to run across this post and how closely it resembles our own story.

We have been married 10years. My husband has always been a gamer, I did not realize how much so when we got married as he didnt have a computer or playstation of his own while we dated. We shared an interest in Arcade games having grown up in a time when they were comming into their own. It was a fun thing for us to do together on dates. Both of us had the original cartrige Atari games in our home growing up and spent more than our fair share of allowances in Arcades. (hehe, anyway...I digress)

We got married and within about 6months had purchased our own computer. It was almost instantly a problem in our relationship. I tried nagging and begging for time with him which sometimes worked better that other times. As time went on we have had three beautiful children and he was missing so much with them and with me. I also was a child of divorce and did not consider that an option for us. His gaming did not effect his work for the most part so we were financial secure.

In 2004 he noticed that Star Wars had come out with an online game and that I had somewhat of an interest in that. He went and purchased it for both of us and we started playing together. At first I was a casual player and still resented much of the time he was spending on the game. Then at some point between the online chat and finnally moving my character up to a level where I could have some fun and making some credits to spend I got hooked. I really felt like if I cant beat'em join'em and started playing excessively.

Eventually I was approached by another character and we started an online affair. We created toons on another server so we could be alone and on that server I started meeting new people. I felt more of a freedom on this new server because I knew that no one there knew I was married in real life and it wouldn't get back to my husband. I fell into a cycle of meeting people and engaging in online sexual chat with them. I had all sorts of justifications for my behavior "he should have never gotten me involved in this game" "he has had his own struggles with porn on line in the past." Whatever I could think of to make myself feel better about it. One of the people I met asked me if I was married in real life and I was honest and said yes. He saw that I was following on a path that he had traveled on and was still trying to get off of and warned me that what I was doing could lead to me losing my husband and my children. His wife had just left him and taken his two girls with her. You know, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but until this incredibly insightful and bold person spoke that truth that directly to me, I just hadn't thought through the possible consequences of my actions.

I knew I couldn't stop on my own and wasn't sure where to turn, I had so isolated myself from most of my friends durring this time. I ended up going to a councelor who of corse told me I had to tell my husband what I had been doing. It took me six weeks to finally agree to do so, that was this past January and a week before our 10th anniversary. I just thought, if he wants to spend 10more years with me then I want him to do so with the full knowledge of what I had been doing, and if it meant the end of our marriage, then I would have to accept that consequence as well. My husband was more gracious than I deserved and we have been working on restoring our relationship since that time.

He has not been willing to admit to his own addiction though and has continued playing. We had quit playing the StarWars game for two months then one night a couple of weeks ago we watched one of the Star Wars movies with my son and it was a total 'trigger' for me. I told him how much I missed it, and of course he missed playing with me. He said do you think you could play without flirting, I said I think so. So we reloaded the game and I was oh so wrong, I went right back to my old style of flirting. I told him and this time he was a bit more angry, but glad I had told him so quickly.

When I read him the March 14th post last night the story rang so true with him. What she said about her husband being with the family but only a shadow of himself, he said, you know, lets see what happens in the house with no computer games for three months. This was an incredibly HUGE statement for him to make. I dont know if we will make it three months, we actually decided to go to a Celebrate Recovery group to get some support for our addiction. Last night was our first class and we felt a little silly sitting next to drug addicts whose lives have been devistated with their addictions, but we truly feel if we dont take some serious steps, our family would become another statistic.

To people that don't get addicted to gaming, I am sure it seems silly, I mean it is just a game. But, for people that have been effected by it, the effects are as damaging as any other addiction. We both had parents with addictive personalities and this is not the first area in our own lives where we have shown weakness to addictions. It is time for us to say enough is enough and get healthier coping mechanisms that we can pass on to our own children. Thank you for listening to my ramblings, this turned out to be much longer than I had planned. I wish you the best of luck on your study and will be looking for ways to help people in our own area."

2006-03-31T13:13:00.000-08:00

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