Everyday Reasons

Psst...

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:11:00 +0000

I returned unscathed from my sorority's leadership training weekend and I even learned a few things, met some great people and reconnected with old friends. I also RE-discovered my love of "ropes courses". We went on a week long trip to Nantahala outdoor center in high school and it was pretty awesome. Partly because I spent half the time making out with the hottest guy in our class, and mostly because when given the right circumstances I LOVE all the team building exercises and ropes challenges.

Now the goal is to somehow implement some of the tools I learned into the organization I work for.
How great would it be if all companies/organizations/schools could take even a 1 day retreat and do all those teamwork, trust building, leadership encouraging activities?

Picture your CEO dangling from a ropes course with one of those ridiculous harnesses on, magical I know. Zip line anyone? More than anything I think an experience like this would lessen the tension between departments at my workplace, and make people a little more considerate of their general tone. Currently the tone is self absorbed, not a team player, possessive, defensive and just plain rude.

Clearly I am dreaming. Budget cuts and a whole lot of cynical unhappy campers mean this will never actually happen. But I can still research the possibilities online to get me through the day.

Psst...

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:11:00 +0000

Dear Ridiculous Coworkers...

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:56:00 +0000

Learn how to use a printer. The paper goes in, the paper comes out with writing on it. Fascinating.

Your PhD does not exempt you from returning emails, and your inflated title/salary does not exempt you from exerting even the smallest modicum of professionalism or politeness.

For Christ's sake, you use the same conference line at least 3 times a week for the past few years and you don't have it memorized?! Here is a hint, write it down and keep it next to your phone. I know, I'm a genius.

Lastly, here is a list of things I will not do for you.
get you lunch
make your coffee
fill out your electronic time sheet for you
keep track of your vacation days
babysit
dog sit
house sit
print out your letters because you can't manage to learn 30 year old technology
clean your office
your entire job.

Sincerely,
frustrated and disgusted Z

Big girls.. don't wear flip flops to work?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:52:00 +0000

It is really hard to become a fully fledged grown-up when you work for a nonprofit.
Our dress code is lax at the most, and while technically I am supposed to wear "business casual" Monday through Thursday and jeans on Friday, I think as long as I'm not swinging around a stripper pole in my cubicle wearing a fur coat no one will even notice what I am wearing.

I have been known to wear jeans 2 or even three days a week. Especially when I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks. But let me tell you, I have seen people in my office wearing things I would not wear when getting the mail. Those velcro jesus sandals. Crocs .. don't even get me started on how much I loathe crocs, yes even on your toddler. Cargo shorts, at work I know. I think I may have even spotted a pair of sweatpants in the hallway last winter.

I don't usually write about clothes or my wardrobe, mostly because I don't think its all that interesting. BUT, I am having a serious issue now because I so desire to dress like an adult, but so do not have the financial means to do so. I mean, how do women my age afford to be so put together? I refuse to shop at discount stores because 1. it depresses me and 2. the few times I have been I never find anything half way decent.

Currently, 80% of my wardrobe is J Crew, 10% Banana, and the rest a mish mash of jeans, flip flops, and gym clothes. Simply because that's what seems to be available to me at a somewhat decent price that doesn't fall apart. I don't think its responsible to spend thousands of dollars on clothes when you can't really afford it, and at the same time, everyone wants to look good.

What brought this on? I went to a sorority alumni event last night and for the most part all the women my age looked, well, my age! Not as if they were graduate students. I think I look like a perpetual grad student. Frumpville.

Vegetarianism vs. Bacon

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:38:00 +0000

I recently had lunch with a friend who has been working at an animal rights type of organization for the past few weeks. I spent most of the time with my mouth hanging open in sheer awe at the judgment she faces at this new job simply because she is not a vegan or vegetarian.

It seems some people think with one viewing of Food Inc. we would all cross over to the tofurkey side. It seems these people have never tasted Bacon.

Is it legal to require your employees to eat only vegan or vegetarian food items while they are in the office? Please keep in mind this is a cat rescue organization and I am 120% sure that my friend would not sit at her desk eating a roasted cat. Yes, I just used the phrase roasted cat, twice.

Also, if an organization or company requires a specific work place diet, shouldn't they supplement your income based on the cost of said diet adjustments? Actually this is probably the only reason my workplace doesn't declare such a ridiculous rule. Eating vegetarian and staying healthy is expensive, let alone eating organic, locally grown produce which was also a subject of discussion between my friend and her employer. Of all the things you thought you might be criticized at work, eating a salad from a chain store probably not at the top of your list.

Don't mistake me for a cow slaughtering, rifle toting carnivore, I try my best to buy free range, grass fed etc etc.. but it is expensive! Prepackaged, hormonally injected, flavor enhanced crap is much cheaper.

Score one for Bacon.

* ask me about this when I have kids, and I spend exorbitant amounts of money on gluten free, organic baby food or some such nonsense. I draw the line at cloth diapers.

Pros and Cons of Getting out of Bed This Morning:

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:35:00 +0000

Pros:
Everyday I get up and go to work, live my life, is another day I feel as though I've accomplished a little piece of something
FSU is chipper in the morning about 85% of the time, that's 50% more than yours truly.
He also never ever leaves without saying goodbye.
My work Blackberry brings me good news, like a list of fabulous people agreeing to be on the host committee for our event, including one of my favorite musicians/singer/songwriters. ( No, its not John Mayer although we all know I love him to)
The tourists on the metro today reminded me of my Fletcher family, the southern twang, the genuine politeness, giving up their seats for other people. Refreshing. I miss them.
A visit from our founder at work, nice to be reminded how we all got our jobs in the first place.
Old picture of Gary and I caught my eye before I left the house, thought of funny Gary moments all day. (particularly one boogie board/roof incident and many many Journey sing-alongs)
Georgetown JCrew now has wedding collection for preview.
Got email about fabulous bride-to-be gift I must send a favorite sorority sister who just got engaged.

Cons:
After hitting the snooze button 12 times, I was frantic, unable to shave legs, had to iron my dress, ate a cheese stick for breakfast on way to the metro, and had exceptionally bad hair day.
Did not have time to change kitty litter, yuck.
30 minutes late to doctor's apt, where I had to pee in cup and have blood taken. (the key to the bathroom is attached to a clipboard, picture balancing abnormally large purse, empty pee cup, clipboard, sunglasses and paperwork while opening stall door)
A fellow metro rider sharing approximately 1 foot of space with me insisted on "reading" her GIANT library book while standing in the aisle, why do people insist on reading while standing?
My boss is a complete basket case and invents extremely ridiculous budgetary scenarios, then proceeds to email everyone about them incessantly.

See the good always outweighs the bad.

From couch potato to 10K in 3 months?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:50:00 +0000

Or so we hope.

I happen to be sandwiched biologically between to sisters. The older one has an extraordinarily high tolerance for pain (referred to as running from here on), and the younger one has our father's genes which means she is thin and toned and never gains an ounce, and of course naturally inclined towards running. I think she even enjoys it. She'd never agree if you asked her, but it's true. Older sister decided it would be a fun sisterly bonding experience to run a 10K in October. There's one big problem with this; it's this October as in less than three months from now.

Don't get me wrong, I work out between 2 and 5 times a week, depending on happy hour. I bike, less than 10 miles at a time though. And anyone who happens to be an actual runner can tell you there's a huge difference between the occasional jog around the block and a full on 10K.

The last time I "voluntarily" agreed to run farther than a mile with a group of other people in public it did not end well. Picture a scowling 16 year old, blond pony tail, arms crossed at the starting line... I never made it to the finish line despite my father's best efforts to run along side me cheering me on. I wasn't overweight, I wasn't out of shape, in fact I was in great shape (I'd kill for that body now!) I just hate running. My dad has never been able to accept this fact. Although I think I made if perfectly clear to everyone when I told my coach to go fuck himself that day. Ouch. Teen angst is so embarrassing in hindsight.

But I will prevail. I will conquer the running even if it does make my dad happy. I've been on the run once every two weeks plan until now. Somethings got to change immediately or my sisters are going to have to carry me the last 5 miles.

Ugh. I'll start tomorrow....

DC vs. Florida

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:15:00 +0000

discuss amongst yourselves.

Why I'm still here

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:52:00 +0000

Although I took a brief hiatus from writing, spent a good 2 months job searching and contemplated the idea of moving I decided to stay after all.

Staying with the blog, staying at my job and giving DC (Arlington really) the time it needs to make me feel at home. Why the change of heart? Well I suppose I never really had a change of heart in the first place, just a wave of doubt about the direction of my career and quality of life.

After all the recent changes at work, staff leaving, new projects, promotion I feel like I just can't leave. I interviewed at a couple of places but I don't think my heart was in it. I still believe in the mission of my organization, I love most of the people (most but not all) and I do get to meet all kinds of fabulously well-connected and famous people at our upcoming events. Not to mention I can walk to my office in less than 10 minutes.

I have so many great things to look forward to, leadership academy for my sorority in September, loads of alumni association events, L.A. in October, Vegas in November...
If only I could get my workaholic FSU to take a day off everything would be as close to perfect as possible.

Preparing for my comeback tour

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:34:00 +0000

was that a poorly executed Michael Jackson joke? Sorry. I had nightmares last night that MJ's head was attached to FSU's body. Don't even get me started on the roller coaster of emotions I have about that situation... mostly disgust at the way people react. I heard a woman interviewed saying this was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She didn't know him, never met him. Really? Your life must be totally amazing if the worst thing that ever happened to you is that a complete stranger died and everyone made a spectacle out of it. Come on CNN show some real news. Hate me if you want, but I think his life was much sadder than his death. Doesn't it seem like he just suffered immensely for decades anyway? My psychology degree has been rearing it's ugly head these days.

So back to the subject at hand, I am attempting to resurrect this lonely neglected little blog over the next few days. A lot has happened since we were last together. I got a promotion, I bought a bike! I started running (mostly because my sisters and I signed up for a 10K in October) and I am now the VP of my sorority's DC/Maryland alumni association.

Also my very best friend moved away again, my most favorite coworker left for bigger and better things, like an office with a window, oh and we got a cat. Sookie, yes after the character in True Blood. She is part Siamese, the prettiest cat I've ever seen and also a serious bitch with a penchant for scratching people.

What's new with you?

So long, Farewell

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 00:32:00 +0000

I am taking a hiatus from this blog. I haven't been writing much lately, and certainly nothing of interest anyhow. It seems I've gotten to the point where everything I have to say or write about is either too personal or to hurtful to publish in a public way.

See you soon...

I miss having spring break

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:53:00 +0000

Board meetings are hell, and preparing for them is more hell. I am so thankful this week has come to an end and I would write a real post.. but since I did not have time to eat lunch today I feel I may come off as more crazy than usual.

My mind is in power point/bullet point format from the past 5 days.
- going to leadership academy for my sorority in September and could not be more excited!!! I for one absolutely love outdoorsy things and camp-like living arrangements. I am particularly looking forward to any ropes course they might throw our way, it will be like Nantahala all over again circa 9th grade.
- I am only $95 dollars away from my fundraising goal for the CF walk!
- Cannot wait for the street festival this weekend, the Cherry Blossom festival is my secret reason for wanting to move here in the first place
- More than anything I can't wait to be in Florida for a long weekend, spend time with some of my favorite sorority sisters, and dear lord go out in downtown Orlando. I do realize how pathetic it is that I miss that.

Why are men so creepy?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:35:00 +0000

I went out for a girls night last night, I had been looking forward to sushi and catching up with two of my oldest friends all day. After a somewhat lengthy metro ride I arrived at Dupont before them and was waiting outside the south exit for about 10 minutes, feeling guilty about not having any cash to give the homeless man (who was not the creepy one by the way)... when I noticed a very creepy looking older man staring at me from across the breezeway. At first I just thought he was odd, and then all of a sudden I looked down and realized that not only were his pants unzipped, but his unmentionable was out there for the world to see, and aimed directly at me. I immediately ran to theother side of the building and thankfully my friends showed up at that very moment so I escaped staring dinglehopper man. I decided to move forward and not dwell on the fact that some dirty stranger had just exposed himself to me and about 3 other people standing nearby.

So after a chance encounter with John Adams daughter, saki bombs, sushi and a cab ride to Tryst for delicious desserts and drinks, I was waiting at Woodley Park metro for the train and was approached by yet another weirdo. This man, about 30, wearing a sweater and jeans, and black leather gloves (?) said,"excuse me, do you have any chapstick? My lips are really chapped." What the hell? Correct me if I'm wrong but you absolutely cannot ask a stranger for chapstick! He then proceeded to stare at me and follow me onto the train until I switched which was made even more irritating by the fact that I actually did have chapstick and really needed to use it but was afraid he would talk to me again.

So the weirdos were out in D.C. full force last night, and apparently they were attracted to me. Maybe I won't be riding the metro alone at night for awhile.

Suck it Economy

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:55:00 +0000

Today I woke up in a panic, which started off as a violent reaction to the dog doing his usual morning routine of barking and whining like a small child and then progressed into anxiety over the fact that we can never ever take vacation at the same time because our dog is overly needy and annoying and ended in a full blown sob-fest about how we can never seem to do more than break even financially.

What if FSU's company goes under and he loses his job? What happens when I have to start paying back those student loans next year? What if I continue to make sub-par salary for the rest of my life? How am I going to afford a car. This was all exacerbated by the fact that we found a great neighborhood we'd love to live in on our run yesterday, but after looking up the property assessments and market values, I fell into a deep spiral of self-loathing (which should possibly be directed at Northern VA) because we could never afford to by a house here. Maybe a small shed.

Basically I am having a large helping of financial anxiety, with a side of I wish the dog would shut the hell up.

The truth doesn't always set you free

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:41:00 +0000

Allow me to substitute my carefully written and heart wrenching post about why you should donate to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation through my Great Strides Walk page here: GreatStrides. It's tax deductible just do it. You'll feel good about yourself I promise.

Instead of writing that post, or completing the pile of work on my desk, I will share with you a small tidbit of the whirlwind that has been my mind for the past few days.

The truth always comes out, slowly in some cases, maybe over a span of 25 years even, but it always comes out. Ever so gradually my sisters and I are piecing together the time line of events and "relationships" our father had that led us all to this point. I am saving the details for our literary collaboration I am secretly thinking of entitling "The Destruction of the Father" (its no coincidence that Little Sister and I ended up at this exhibit yesterday). However, this betrayal of our trust runs much deeper than anyone was willing to admit previously. The lies men will stick with are astonishing. It seems as though they truly think they will get away with something until 5 minutes after they have been caught.

My struggle becomes more difficult as I realize that my dad is not the person I thought he was, I no longer feel as though I know him. It would be impossible for me to love him any less, but I can't help but feel a great sense of disappointment and despair for the havoc this will reek on my own relationship, my ability to trust. He is not after all a bad person, but perhaps a selfish and unfeeling person. In my eyes he has been leading two lives for the past 25 years, and even before then. Now he should prepare himself for those two neatly compartmentalized worlds to collide because nothing will ever be the same for any of us. I refuse to keep anymore secrets.

Should I beg for money?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:00:00 +0000

remind me to finish this later...
there is a noble cause I swear

Do you want to quit your job and run away?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:11:00 +0000

Well I do. Especially right now. I really have this sudden rush of anxiety... an overwhelming need to just walk out of my office. What is that about?

Could be my total lack of motivation to get any of the 1 million things done that are on my plate. Could be my low salary, or the fact that the office is empty today, or that I hate being an assistant.

Could just be that it's Friday.

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:14:00 +0000

I don't know how other people's relationships look from the inside out, and I am a big believer that how someone treats you in public or in front of your friends matters just as much as the way they treat you when you're alone, but I don't think I've ever had a functionally normal relationship until now. I can't remember loving someone I didn't have knock-down drag out fights with, emotional and verbal battles... I had to fight for every inch.

Here's the thing, I've been fighting this inner struggle, trying to figure out what's bothering me. And it came to me today finally. We always fought, yelled, made each other angry, pushed each others buttons, got jealous, made the other person want to scream and yell. We being the other relationships I look back on with a mixture of fondness and awe. Yes, I love Gary, and I love JP, and I've never been a big believer in one person for everyone. Although I'm starting to wonder about that one... maybe I didn't believe before because I hadn't found that person until FSU?

What is ridiculous about this scenario is that being the emotional and dramatic (over dramatic?) person I am, I think I thrived on that. The arguments, the disappointment, the pain, the making up. Maybe I'm a masochist. It turns out there's nothing missing between FSU and I, he just doesn't give me a reason to be angry, he doesn't give me reason to doubt, to cry, he never hurts me. Nobody is perfect, but learning to adjust my volatile and intense personality to someone who treats me so well is surprisingly difficult. The hard part about finding the person you want to be with forever, the one person who makes you feel whole and special and loved, is accepting the idea in the first place. You see there isn't anything to fight about! How strange.

There is still something to be said about feeling the most alive when your heart is breaking, but maybe it's less about feeling alive and more about a heightened sense of awareness.. of the way you feel, the things you want from someone else, the connection you have to another person. More than anything each of my relationships has taught me something about myself, and how people in love relate to each other. With Gary, I never felt more desperate for proof of love or cared more strongly for one person at the same time before. We fought often and made-up often, it was the same with JP. I'm not sure if I ever actually doubted their feelings for me but I always pushed them, tested them, maybe just to see if they cared enough to stick around. Obviously this is a recipe for disaster. If you spend enough time convincing someone they shouldn't be with you then they will eventually believe you and walk away.

You've got to let that one perfect person that found you against all odds love you the way that comes naturally to them. I'm still learning this. Don't push them away, don't test their feelings, just trust. This is much harder than you would think.

~Z

The life of an assistant: know when to say no

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:08:00 +0000

In the past few months I have been put in some pretty uncomfortable positions at work. Welcome to the world of any position that involves the word "assistant". I've been sent on beverage runs, lunch runs, personal errands (while being paid via the organization), and countless other ridiculous scenarios. I put my foot down about the babysitting. I do not watch other people's children.

I've learned something about myself. I am not cut out to be an assistant. I also don't ever want my own assistant. Also, I've got to decide between loyalty and moving on to something different, and hopefully better. The problem here is that I love the mission, most of the staff, and the idealism behind the organization... but it all seems to be falling apart. How do you know when it's time to leave?

When your boss offers you a promotion, and then takes it back the next day because of budget constraints? I think so. When staff meetings start to feel like group therapy sessions? I think so.

How about when everyone else you really like starts leaving. ding ding ding. time to leave. Oh the stories I will tell when I am not longer employed at said organization. I could write a textbook entitled "How Not To Run a Nonprofit: A case study of asinine management practices".

~Z

the wonderful world of furloughs

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:59:00 +0000

The organization I work for has instituted mandatory Furloughs every other Friday. This means two things, 1. 10% pay cut 2. I get to have lunch with a friend, do laundry, homework, and watch Grey's Anatomy in my PJ's.

Ok it means a lot of things, mostly upsetting and negative things, but I am trying to see the silver lining here. Strange for a person like me I know. Also strange for a person like me is that at the last two very intense and heated staff meetings I have said not one word. I am no longer the girl who stands up and says what everyone else is thinking. It's quite a relief actually. Let them speak up if it's so important. I have heard rumor of other organizations going through this same kind of drama, but I have no concrete evidence...

I am definitely tired of being taken advantage of at work. I have taken on the responsibilities of 3 people at this point, and I am probably the lowest paid staff member in the organization. I'm 3 months away from my masters degree, and I can only stand being treated like a moron for so long.

All this stress at work has me dreaming the weirdest stuff at night. A week ago I dreamed that a 1920's safari guy was wandering around our office shooting people in their cubicles. It was very representative of my feelings towards the layoffs and such. Last night though, I had a dream that FSU proposed, but it was with a very teeny tiny ring, and yellow gold to boot ( I hate yellow gold rings) but I was elated and said yes and didn't even care.

Does this mean I'm shallow for noticing the ring, or not shallow because I didn't care? Or more shallow because in this country's state of economic disaster all I can think about is getting engaged? Ponder that for me if you will.

~Z

I don't have time for Therapy

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:44:00 +0000

At this very moment (6:20pm, still at work yay) I am sitting at my desk with a splitting headache, willing myself to do this Human Resources assignment I have due over the weekend, full well knowing I won't until 1 hour before its due, because who can concentrate in this environment. (the one in my head, not actually surrounding me)

I am trying to teach myself to be patient, with other people, with myself, with the unraveling of my life. My family. I am hoping that it's not just me and 25 is the normal age to realize that your family is completely fucked up and that everything you always blamed yourself for as a little kid/teenager was not actually all your fault. My personal life as far as my relationship and my friendships has never been better, everything else is sort of in the shitter. My family is completely ridiculous, and it's not just about my dad and then subsequently my mom keeping secrets from us, its all these small things that I blocked out or never realized that have all come flooding into my field of vision at this very point in my life. Probably triggered by the event of finding out I have a younger sister I never knew about I'm sure. I can't think of the word I should call that.

But it's not just that, its everything I couldn't remember for a long time. I have these periods of memory that are blank for me: that year in Germany; mostly blank, almost 3 years of undergrad; mostly blank, all of middle school; pretty much completely blank. Now I am starting to remember things, or someone will remind me because you see the other people who were with me during these times, they remember everything which is helpful because it's a little terrifying not to remember things you have said or done.

I have a bachelor's in psych. I know the basics. I know this is a coping mechanism, a defense mechanism. I just never realized I needed it. There was no abuse of any kind in my family, nothing you would notice from the inside looking out. My parents are generally caring and good people. They are selfish though. Very selfish. How do you achieve the perfect balance between giving your child everything they ever wanted, spoiling them rotten, and making them feel as though they deserve nothing and are eternal disappointments no matter what they do? Seems easy enough to me, but I am not yet a parent. I have yet to meet someone who's parents struck that perfect balance.

I know every parent makes mistakes but you never expect yours to make the catastrophic ones.
The irony of it all is that the person I want to talk to the most in my family is my younger sister, the one I've only known for 5 months. Who can understand better than her? And I am so grateful that she's who she is, and proof that you don't have to have a good father to turn out to be a wonderful and successful person.

People react in different ways when I tell them about my little sister, and how I found out about her, but most of all they say things like, "Oh that happens more than you think, that happens in a lot of families". That's great, but this is my family. And let me feel however I want about it.

On a day to day basis I am waiting for the breakdown, the meltdown, the loss of ability to get out of bed. It hasn't come, but every single time I sit down to write, blog, journal, notepad... all I can write about is this. So maybe I am in the midst of it. This is all the breakdown I can afford to have right now. I hope its not all a blank spot in my memory in a few years. I want to remember everything so I can learn whatever lesson I am supposed to learn.

In the meantime I don't want to be coddled, I hate that. Don't tell me you are here for me or that you understand, or whatever touchy feely cliche crap you come up with. I don't care. I write about it because it's cathartic, and not because I want your pity. Plus, I don't have time to go to therapy.

~Z

Assistant = life sucks

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:28:00 +0000

Someone should stop me from standing on my chair in the middle of my cubicle and yelling
FUCK YOU ALL!

or maybe don't stop me.

I am tired of being taken advantage of, treated like a moron, being called the wrong name, and doing 3 peoples jobs for less money than you can imagine. Dammit. I am not a personal assistant. I have a degree, almost a masters and I am smarter than you.

How fitting is my horoscope today?

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:02:00 +0000

"Although you may realize how much work there is to do, the conjunction of the willful Sun and bountiful Jupiter in your sign encourages you to say yes to almost anything. You won't likely consider the sacrifices you'll need to make, nor will the obstacles scare you off. You're sure that the goal is obtainable and you know that it's important enough that you'll do whatever is necessary. Just remember that Mercury is still retrograde and everything could take longer than you think."

~Z
awesome.

The things we do for birth control

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:04:00 +0000

Today I feel physically and emotionally exhausted. This email response to my very understanding and patient best friend is all I can muster in terms of posting. These days my favorite thing to do is sleep. Enjoy.

Dear Teeny,

Yes I am yours wed after work =). I am having a hellatious day. I had to go see hoohah doctor this morning. Couldn't find the stupid office, encountered several worthless unhelpful people along the way, while freezing because I don't have any decently attractive warm shoes. Once I found it I sat in the waiting room for 30 minutes. Went through the usual procedure, then opted to get blood taken for some reason unbeknownst to me, 4 vials of it to be exact, because you need 70 pints of blood to test for all the things I know I don't have. Oh but first the phlebotomist (sp?) poked around on my left arm for 15 minutes, then switched to the right arm (must be all the drug use that made my left arm veins nonviable). At which point I promptly started seeing dark spots and when she was done passed out and had a juice box forced on me before I could leave. Then I walked 1.2 miles while my nose burned from the cold (or was it that drug use I mentioned before) to work where I, along with the rest of the staff, just took a 10% pay cut. I LOVE MY JOB!AWESOME DAY!
I miss you! (and having friend time in general)

The things we do for birth control
~Z

I spoke too soon.

Everydayreasons@gmail.com (Z) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:13:00 +0000

holy god. Maybe I should not have said bring it on. Take it back!
we are well on our way to a 10% unemployment rate. Please don't let me be one of them.

love and deferred student loan payments
~Z