Everyday's A Halladay

formspring.me

2011-11-14T22:10:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://www.formspring.me/livin4hymn

Changes

2011-11-13T22:45:00.001-07:00

Realized lately that it's been a while since I've written anything here. But then again, I haven't kept up with anything online like I used to, except maybe twitter and facebook...but more-so twitter. I think the main reason is not having internet at home except for spotty wireless at home. I usually just go to campus or use the wifi at the Christian Challenge. Why pay for internet when you can get it free (and legally at that, lol)?

Anyways, guess I'll just use this post as a general update since the last post. If you don't already follow me on twitter or are not friends with me on facebook (and why aren't you? There's a link to my twitter somewhere on this page, so get on that), then you should know I am currently in a long-distance relationship going on almost 1 year now! She's in South Dakota and we'll be celebrating the official 1 year at the end of this month...with a visit from me! This will be the 3rd visit -- we've been trading off every few months -- with maybe one or two more to follow before I make an final lasting visit next summer. Yep, that's right, I'll be heading up to the frozen north.

It's a pretty big deal for me cuz it'll be the biggest move from where I grew up that I've made on my own. I'm kinda nervous about it but it'll be worth it to finally be together with her. I also think maybe starting over in a new place is something I need. I've grown far too comfortable staying in this area and I think I'm starting to grow moss (or maybe I just need a shower). But seriously, I haven't done much or what I've wanted here and part of that is having too much comfort to fall back on. And most of the great people of the Bible had to leave the comfortable behind to embrace the blessing God had planned for them, so here's to embracing a new blessing!

Until that move, I'll be making another shorter one with my sister to a new apartment. I was hoping to stay in the house I'm at until next summer but a few developments have come up since I planned the move to SD. Mostly it just involves my roommates moving on with their lives just as I am with mine. "J" will be heading overseas for (at least) 2 years; "K" just needed to live on his own; "I" will be getting married soon; and "M" is going to be deployed for a year and then hopefully beginning a new career. I'm happy that we're all moving on and have been able to enjoy living together for these 2 years. I thank God for the blessing they've been and I hope I've been just as much of one for them. My only problem is finding a new temporary home with a pretty short warning. I also need to get my car fixed. Luckily I've already got a few good leads on places to live and have a friend who is willing to look at and possible fix my car for free (I'll be paying him back in some way of course).

I'm sure I could say a lot more about all of this, but I don't have the energy and I don't want to waste your time so that's basically the short version of an update on my past year. What have you all been up to? What changes do you need to make or which comforts do you need to leave in order to embrace a blessing?

Do you like roller-coasters?

2011-11-13T17:46:00.001-07:00

I love roller-coasters. Don't get to ride them much but I love the thrill and want to keep trying new ones.

Ask me anything

My Summer Overseas

2010-11-08T04:45:00.000-07:00

**Been meaning to upload this for a while. Sorry for the delay**

Since the beginning of the summer I'd been keeping a written journal and actually kept up with it everyday (well, almost everyday...I started it the day I left and have been keeping it fairly regularly since coming back to the US). The journal itself was a gift from my friend/roommate Jeremy to be used during the summer while I was in Eastern Europe as a way to channel my thoughts and feelings of experiencing a new country and culture as well as what I was learning. I looked forward to that time each day and was told by one of the friends I went with that I was writing A LOT more than he was. Obviously he'd never seen my blogs before! A lot of what I was writing was stuff that can't be shared here for various reasons (some official and some just personal) but half the time I was writing as if someone other than myself would be reading it someday. I guess I was just used to getting my thoughts out in the public for all to see (b/c of this and other blogs along with twitter). Now that I've reached the last pages of that journal I'm trying to decide whether I want to keep up with the written journal or just try to blog semi-regularly here. I suppose I could do both...

Anyways, all that to say there is quite a lot to update y'all on. I'll do my best to keep it relatively concise. First of all this summer was an amazing experience and despite all the journaling I still have trouble expressing it in words. I wish I could have stayed longer because I made a good number of friends while there and yet barely had time to really get to know them. We did, however, get quite a few opportunities to share things about our lives (loves, dreams, belief, fears, hopes) with these friends and that made the time we did get worth it. And there are so many places there I wanted to see but didn't get to because I was sick or incapacitated with my broken leg (more on that in a bit). What is cool though is that I have friends back here that have met most of the same friends and saw the same places and experienced the same things and more that I never came close to. We can share stories and these friends have been giving me deeper insight into things I experienced or explained things I didn't understand. It's been a real blessing, but just talking with them about my summer just makes me want to go back even more. I haven't ruled out a return trip someday though...but it'll have to wait til after I graduate. From there I'll just have to wait and see. Ya, I know I said a lot without really saying anything, but that's basically b/c it's hard to pick out specific moments/stories/friends to talk about. If you want to really know, just ask me (the more specific the question, the better). I can even share pictures/video if you'd like.

The one story that needs telling is the broken leg I alluded to earlier. So, it was the day before my birthday (which is July 4) and I was hanging out with some American friends in a local park in the city I was staying in and in the spirit of all the World Cup action going on we decided to play some soccer before the main reason for all of us Americans coming together (an annual kickball game). All was going great and I thought I was playing pretty well, when me and another guy crash into each other going for the ball. As I'm falling, I hear a "pop" that doesn't bode well, but at first just think maybe it was a joint around my ankle popping b/c I wasn't feeling any pain. No big deal. Then I try to get up and realize, "Oooooh K! Maybe it's a bit more serious than I thought!" My friends help me off the field to a spot to check out my ankle/leg to see how bad it is. We do the whole RICE routine and a few of the guys with some basic medical emergency knowledge try to diagnose it and decide that it's most likely a sprained ankle. So, for the next few days that's how we treat it (even consulting a friend's mom - who is a nurse - over Skype to be sure it's just a sprain). Eventually, I'm even told to start gradually putting more weight on it and such, and if the swelling and stuff goes down it should be ok. Well, a week later it's still just about as swollen as it was, so we realize it's time to see a doctor.

The best option for me was a European/International hospital, so we go there and have it checked out. Turns out, it was a fracture in my lower fibula and I had 2 options on how they could fix it: 1) a cast that would take weeks before I could be back on my feet normally or 2) a surgery in which they would put a metal plate and screws in and I would be up and walking-ish in just about 2 weeks. After talking it over with our groups' higher-ups, my parents, and the insurance people, we finally decide on the surgery. We found out the insurance I had for the summer would actually cover all of the cost of having the surgery there and then some post-op visits and other stuff, as opposed to only a fraction of the cost if I went home earlier than the other guys and had the surgery back in the States, so that was a real blessing. I'd get to finish out the time and not have to pay a cent.

All in all, I'd do it all over again, and if you ever get an opportunity - whether it's for a week(s), month(s), or year(s) - I'd encourage you to take it and make the most of it. You'll not only have an experience of a lifetime, but will also hopefully learn something about yourself and others and get a bigger picture of the world beyond your front door.

Blog Every Week April?

2010-04-08T02:17:00.000-06:00

Last year in April I participated in a little thing called Blog Every Day (in) April aka BEDA inspired by a blogging author you may or may not have heard of named Maureen Johnson. I didn't feel like doing that this year just b/c (check out last year's if you'd like) it's a little exhausting to keep up with everyday. This year some people I know are doing it, but there are also people doing it video style (Vlog Every Day April or VEDA) and some of the not so dedicated are doing Vlog Every Week (in ) April (VEWA). I've felt like blogging recently but not everyday, b/c it would mostly be the same thing just about every day which would get boring, so I'm gonna try blogging at least once a week making this (BEWA...I feel like I need an "RE"...feel free to suggest something in the comments). It'll also be practice for this summer when my team will have to blog once a week anyways even if I won't necessarily be the one writing it.

Speaking of this summer, I'm really excited that I get the opportunity to go with a few friends as part of a project in a Former Soviet Republic where we'll be studying the language and culture and doing a few other things in our spare time. It's getting closer to when we leave (May 23rd), so I'm really starting to feel that it's really happening. One of the things I'm anxious about though is the financial aspect. I trust that God will provide what I need one way or another but right now I'm only at halfway to what I need to be at. We had to send out support letters (some of you may have gotten one) and the official due date for people to send any support in was the 1st of this month. I know a few have been sent and have yet to have come in, but it still leaves me well short of the goal. No one in the past has not gone on this project b/c of a lack of funds so it's not something I should worry about, but I guess I'm just wondering where it's going to come from. Philippians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So I guess that's something I need to work on.

And speaking of things I need to work on. I really need to be guarding my heart emotionally. You could say that's been a weak point for me for most of my life. I consider myself a romantic and that means my heart is easily stirred by a song I hear, a part of a book I'm reading (right now that just happens to be Pride & Prejudice & Zombies), a movie I've seen or the most recent wedding of a friend I've been to. And you may have noticed I happen to hit on this subject at least once a blog. BTW, if that's getting to be tedious to you readers, please let me know. I try not to get all whiney or gooey and such about it, but it's usually what's on my mind a lot, and blogs are partly to get out what's on one's mind, right? The issue I'm facing right now is that the object of my emotions is someone that's been a friend for about quite a few years now. The only reason I haven't pursued anything is that around the time I first knew her word got out that I liked her and her response made it clear that she would rather be friends. I've honored that since then but have begun to wonder if things could be different now that we've known each other this long. What do you think? Is it worth at least giving a shot?

Status of Doctor Who watching: Still at the same point in the classic series, but I have now seen the start of the 11th Doctor! I was weary at first b/c the early promotional pics had a very Twilight-esque feel to them but having now seen Matt Smith in action I can say I am fairly pleased and the previews for the season have piqued my interest even more. The only things I'm wary of now are his catchphrase ("Geronimo!" 10's catchphrase was a little more original which is why I liked it more).
Verse of the Moment: Philippians 4:6-7, and since it's related, Proverbs 4:23

Vaguely back in the saddle and heading out

2010-03-09T01:37:00.002-07:00

Oi, it's been a while since I've blogged...anywhere. I blame twitter...and then move on.

The two things I really want to blog about I can't say much about. One is just personal for now and the other is something I can't say too much about for safety reasons*. In a way they are kind of related which is kind of nice. Makes for an easy transition in this blog.

Almost every other time I blog it seems I mention (vaguely) some girl that I like and this time is no different. This is, however, probably the longest I've gone without tweeting or blogging about something like this, mostly because I'd like to think I've developed a bit more self-control about how much I share online, but I'm allowed a little indulgence every now and then. It's all about moderation, right? I've decided that since I've already told my sister who I like I can at least say something about it to the rest of y'all. I'm not going to divulge any names (including that of the guy my sister said she likes...we made a pact that involves dismemberment if either party tells), but I just want to vaguely blog about this more as a release.

Looking back, I realize that I liked her since the earliest memory I have of knowing who she was. At the time it was just a simple crush, and I'm sure I had a few crushes at the time and I had more interaction with those others, so she got pushed out off the radar. I'm not sure what brought her back onto my radar, but it was probably around when I heard her talk about something** she is passionate about. I admired her passion about it and it was something that I'd had on my mind/heart for a while as well. I'm sure it was more than just coincidence, but I need to remember the wise words of The Oceanic Six's song, "Mr. Eko"***: Don't mistake coincidence for fate. I'm not saying it isn't but I just want to be cautious with my heart in case she isn't the one****.

Anyways, since the time she's been back on my radar I've tried been looking for ways to pursue her. At first I just left a flower where she'd see it, but I never left any indication that it was me*****. I've also just been looking for any hints that maybe she likes me as well, but results are inconclusive at the time. In other words, there have been a few things that I could have read into but were most likely nothing special. I just need to find a way to say what I think when I'm around her or see her or even something that just reminds me of her. A friend recently told me to just go for it, but even though I've been a bit bolder about other things recently, I still can't get past my insecurity about how to pursue her. Right now, I'm just praying for open doors and continuing to strive to be the person I hope she's looking for. By that last part I don't mean I'm trying to change who I am for her. I'm just trying to focus on improving a higher relationship: one with my Savior******. So....yah, that's about enough vagueness/rambling about that for now.

Now for the other thing I wanted to blog about. If you've seen my status updates on Facebook or if you follow me on twitter you've probably seen me mention that I'll be going overseas this summer. This is something that's been on my heart for a while and something I've been seeking God's will about for a while. It started as a seed planted back at a summer camp during my middle school years and has been growing into something bigger ever since. This isn't just a see the world thing, even though I've wanted that for a while. I'm the type that is comfortable with just staying where I'm at and enjoying that as much as possible. The thing is that 1) most things worth talking about happen when we break out of the comfortable and take a risk, 2) the life I've been given isn't supposed to be an easy one *******, and 3) the Great Commission isn't just fulfilled at home, it involves some amount of "going".

I know you're all wondering where it is that I'll be going, but all I can say is that it is a former Soviet Republic in Eastern Europe. More than anything I'm hoping for friends (or even strangers) to be praying for me and the guys I'm going with as we prepare to go and then once we're there to continue praying for us********. If anyone would like to help out financially (tax deductible donation), let me know (it'll have to get in by April 1st, just FYI) and I can let you know how. For now we're just coming together as a team and starting to learn/practice things that we'll need. As the weeks get closer I'm getting more excited, but right now it almost doesn't feel real, and it probably won't until just before we head out. I'll be leaving around the end of May, and if anyone wants to be there to see me off or when I come back I'll give more specific dates when I know the details.

BTW, if you're wondering how the two things are related, I'm not gonna say here. Sorry. Always leave 'em guessing, I say.

Almost forgot the Doctor Who and "verse of the moment"

Status of Doctor Who watching: All caught up with the last of David Tennant's run as the Doctor, eagerly awaiting the new season with Matt Smith, and the last episodes of the classic series I saw was The Aztecs. I'm also caught up on The Adventures of Sarah Jane (spin-off).
Verse of the Moment: Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

Footnotes (because I like to copy things other bloggers do):

* Not so much my safety as that of others.
** I say "something" not b/c I don't remember what it was, but b/c I'm usually vague about stuff, and that makes it easier for others to relate to this feeling. Or at least that's my excuse.
*** Available now at DFTBArecords.com if you like pop/dance type music and the TV show LOST
**** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrUMmU6fxK0 (at least I know her name, but I think guys can relate to this song sometimes)
***** I can be a romantic but sometimes I need to think these things through a bit more or else it could come off more creepy than sweet/romantic.
****** Like that saying goes: "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." I believe this could be another reason she came back on my radar.
******* That doesn't mean we aren't given the tools to be able to succeed or any help along the way, though.
******** There'll be a team blog for anyone who wants to updates while we're over there. I'm fairly certain that's the right link. I'll change it if not.

formspring.me

2009-12-01T22:28:00.001-07:00

What do you want for Christmas (both if you could have anything and "reasonable" ideas)?

anything: new laptop and wireless internet at home, and maybe a new car for my sister (and maybe me, better camera...and since we're saying "ANYthing", a TARDIS :-p

reasonable: pants, books to read, and music (either iTunes gift card or cds...Michael Buble's newest is on my wish list), and a USB memory thing.

Ask me anything

5 Good Things

2009-10-06T21:56:00.000-06:00

From the title it sounds like this is going to be one of those "tagging" blogs where people challenge you to do this and then pass it on. Ok, well in a way I guess it is, but I'm not going to officially tag anyone, but if you like the idea, feel free to do it in your own blog, or just in the comments. Basically I got the idea from a friend: When life is overwhelming...name 5 things that are good, things you are thankful for. They can be small or large...but they have to be something you are glad for.

Things aren't quite overwhelming yet, but they're getting there. Anyways, here's my 5:

1) I got to take my roomie, Isaac, to Chico's Tacos for his first time. If you've never heard of Chico's it's a family owned chain of Mexican fast food restaurants in El Paso, TX. I really wish they'd at least expand to Las Cruces if no where else. It was nice to go, though, because my sister and I hadn't been in a while and kinda missed it. Hopefully, next time (when we'll be taking along another friend: Peyton and probably his g/f) Isaac will get the signature tacos instead of a cheeseburger.

2) I finally got my other roommate's printer installed on my computer so I can print stuff out when I need to, since I can't print from the school computers when I'm not a student. This means that:

3) I can finally turn in an application that required a cover letter. I've had the cover letter ready for a while but didn't get to print it out before Mom and Dad left.

4) My roommates are awesome people (including Mike who is currently in Iraq somewhere), and I love how we're constantly encouraging, helping, and just generally having awesome times together (for proof of that check this out...I wish I could share the group of photos that came from).

5) I have an awesome God who is constantly watching over me, leading me, and providing for me, often in ways I would never have expected.

I feel like saying more, but for now I'll just leave it at this.

Doctor Who status: haven't gotten further in the classics yet, but I felt it worth reporting that the newer series now has a new Title graphic (that will start with the 11th Doctor's run), which has met with mixed reviews. If you're a Doctor Who fan, what do you think? Or even if you're an unbiased non-fan, what do you think?

VOTM (Verse of the Moment): Psalm 55:22 (NIV) Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.

Forget tomorrow or yesterday, just concentrate on today

2009-10-04T02:15:00.000-06:00

I kinda feel like I need an excuse for not having blogged in a long while. But as someone who will eventually become a teacher, I think that unless it's an emergency, it's not really worth telling. So I'll just admit I'm probably not ever going to be consistent with this and just move on.

Consistency and dedication though are two things in my life that I really need to work on, though. Not just in this blog, but in my spiritual walk, my friendships, and my path to a career, among other areas.. I think it's been a problem I've had most of my life. When I put effort and discipline into something I do a pretty good job, but I have never been one who keeps it up for too long or long enough to make a difference to me or to others.

It's not that I haven't cared about any of these things. I don't know what the root of it is really. I just know it needs to change. And it's probably not gonna be something I can change on my own. In fact, doing it on my own (or trying to) is probably part of the problem. I need to rely on God and others a bit more. Of course that doesn't mean I just pass off all the work. It just means I need to share it, and not worry so much. If I stumble with the dedication/consistency once that shouldn't be cause to give up, but rather just find the motivation to pick right back up the next time and leave the past in the past. Like Dory in Finding Nemo says, "Just keep swimming", right?

I won't make a promise to keep this up more regularly, but I will at least start with just not giving up on it. Maybe I'll tweet less, and save up those groups of 140 characters for "macro-blogging" instead of "micro-blogs" :-p

Oh, and while I'm hear I guess I'll give a short update on life, bullet style:
- Still working at the Pan Am, but hopefully with more opportunities to work now that it appears I've moved up to Level 2
- It seems like the search/process of getting another job (better/regular hours) is hitting roadblocks at every turn, though I know that I need to put more effort/dedication into it than I have been lately.
- I'm learning more about God almost daily through semi-regular time in the Word, through my roommates, through things as random as Beast Wars and random blessings, and just other people.
- The lack of regular access to things I'm used to like cable, internet, food, and even sometimes just people/friends is humbling and kinda disheartening at times. I've adjusted well to some of that, but other times it gets me kinda down.

Last but not least, you should know I finished Beast Wars at least a month or so ago, moved on to Beast Machines, and have since (with the help of Netflix) moved onto the original Doctor Who episodes from the beginning. I'll be spacing them out with movies I have yet to see, so it may take a while. I may also need to upgrade my membership though, if I can afford it, since it seems the basic one is only 2 a month or something like that. So, I'll try and end these with where I'm at there. And to get back to the theme of consistency/dedication I'll also end with a verse from the Bible I've either been trying to memorize or/and one that's stood out to me recently for one reason or another.

Status of DW watching: The Beginning (An Unearthly Child, The Daleks, and whatever the name of the 3rd story was)
Verse of the moment: Matthew 6:34 (NIV) - Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.

Passing the time til a real post

2009-09-11T19:06:00.000-06:00

I promise an actual blog soon, but for now here's a survey that's been making its way around a few friends' blogs/vlogs.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 11:30

2. How do you like your steak?: medium well.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Night at the Museum 2 (at the dollar theatre in El Paso)...or Rocky Horror Picture Show if you count outdoors downtown behind the Plaza Theatre as "the cinema"

4. What is your favorite TV show? that's not fair to ask for just one...so, some of my favs (in no particular order...and these are the ones that are still on the air): Dr. Who, NCIS, Numbers, Smallville, Heroes, Chuck, The Office, Glee, Lost, Degrassi

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Pretty much near a beach, or a place with a close enough forest/mountains (or some combo of all of those would be perfect).

6. What did you have for breakfast? generic "Apple Jacks"

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian, Mexican...and occasionally some Asian (not gonna be country specific)

8. What foods do you dislike? Olives, potato salad, asparagus, and mushrooms (though if I don't feel them or don't notice them, I'm ok)

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Jack in the Box and Arby's for fast food. Anything else, my tastes are too varied, but home cooked meals are better than restaurant meals more often than not.

10. Favorite dressing? Italian

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 98 Nissan Altima (Though I worry sometimes how much longer it'll hold up)

12. What are your favourite clothes? I normally wear t-shirts and jeans or some variation, but I love to dress up nice with a tie and fancy shoes when appropriate.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? England, Russia, Europe, Australia, Israel

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? For the most part I'm a "half-full" kinda guy, but what's with this 1/2 business? It should be just empty or full :-p
15. Where would you want to retire? Colorado has always appealed to me

16. Favorite time of day? from afternoon til bed-time

17. Where were you born? El Paso, TX, USA

18. What is your favourite sport to watch? Basketball and volleyball

22. Bird watcher? I probably don't know the names, but I like to watch them from time to time.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? As one of the founders of @thenightowls I think the answer is pretty obvious

24. Do you have any pets? For most of my life we've had at least 1 dog and 1 cat. Currently, in the house I'm in there are no pets, but the parents still have the cat we've had for the past 16 or so years. I miss having a dog

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I have a bike again, finally. Also, I'm finally learning useful things on guitar (like tuning and switching between chords)

26. What did you want to be when you were little? As a kid, I really don't remember what I wanted to be...probably some kind of sports star, but my asthma kinda held me back from that. Not to say I didn't try a few sports though.

27. What is your best childhood memory? What I can remember of living in Germany.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? I like cats, but I'm better around dogs...or at least they seem to like me more than any cat ever has.

29. Are you married? No.

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yep, but did you know that until recently passengers in the backseat in TX weren't required by law to wear theirs?

31. Been in a car accident? Yep, only one was traumatic enough to talk about. None were caused by me.

32. Any pet peeves? I can't think of specific ones, but my sister is the cause of a few :-p

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? pineapple, sausage and pepperoni

34. Favorite Flower? I'm a fan of the rose (any color), but most flowers will catch my eye

35. Favorite ice cream? cookies and cream or cookie dough *drooling just thinking about those*

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? I believe I already answered that earlier, but I also should add Papa John's and Little Ceasars (pizza), as well as In and Out Burger (even though the closest one is in AZ)

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None

38. From whom did you get your last email? I have 2 emails. The most recent on yahoo was from Pepsi, but the most recent on Gmail was a youtube reply from my collab-mate Beth

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Well, for one, i don't have a credit card (probably a good thing) and secondly, i wouldn't even if i did. I has a monie smartz. (I'm just going to keep the answer Lucy - my other collab-mate - gave)

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Left a flower for someone, but that's all I'm saying ;-)

41. Like your job? I wish I had one with better pay right now, but getting to work games and concerts is a pretty sweet gig for now!

42. Broccoli? Yes, especially with butter or cheese (kinda takes away from the healthiness, but shh!)

43. What was your favorite vacation? I've liked quite a few of my vacations but going out to Houston/Galveston was pretty great just b/c I got to 1) see where my dad grew up, 2) swim at my third coast (1st was Pacific, 2nd Atlantic, and the Gulf of Mexico counts as the 3rd), and 3) hang out with my good friend and fellow @thenightowls founder, Casey

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? more like "persons" really. 8 to be exact: Amanda (sis), Nate, Isaac (roommate), Megan, Monica, Alex (or Alexis?), Garret, and Liz.
45. What are you listening to right now? People talking, coughing, and typing in one of the campus computer labs.

Joy (and spiritual connections to cartoons)

2009-08-25T17:12:00.008-06:00

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with." -Mark Twain

Proverbs 17:22

Proverbs 15:15

Psalm 86:4

All of the above in a way relate to me today. The first was quoted by a friend on twitter, and the verses were mentioned in a devotional about joy that I read today. Looking back on the day so far (and to some extent, this past week) I realized how true each of those statements are.

In relation to the Twain quote, I overheard a conversation between two friends of mine today. It revolved around the recent news of the one friend's recent engagement and how he proposed. I had heard last week that it might happen soon, and then hearing that it went well made me smile inside. Joy like that is something you just can't keep to yourself. You want to share that with anyone who will listen! But I suppose the devil just loves to strike when great things are happening b/c soon after that, I got to thinking of how I'm still alone and keep getting crushed by crushes, and I realized the truth of the first part of the Twain quote.

Not to be outdone though, God brought the joy back with run-ins with a friend who probably doesn't even realize how much they lifted up my day with just their presence. When He does things like that, He reminds me of how Silverbolt is with Black Aracnia on "Beast Wars" (it would have been impossible to get through this w/o at least one refernce, haha). If you don't get the reference. Basically, Silverbolt is a Maximal (good guys) with a hero-complex and the heart of the ultimate gentleman and Black Aracnia is a Predacon (bad guys) who was originally supposed to be a good guy and has been wooed/swayed to the good side by Silverbolt. He knows just when to swoop in at the right moment to save her from danger, even when she shows hints of her bad self. That just jump out to anyone who knows the Good News of how God reached out to us when we were yet living in sin and wooed us to the "good side"? (see what I meant the other day about spiritual connections to Beast Wars? haha).

So anyways, I just wanted to "divide" this post on joy with you all b/c good news is always worth sharing. Oh and in other good news, I talked with my roommate last night and he's going to sell/give me his old bike after he just got a new one. I can't tell you all how much I've missed having a bike to ride! This is gonna be great!

And now I must leave b/c I hear the marching band starting their annual Concert on the Green!

Beast Wars update: Season 3, Episode 6

Back in the Land of Enchantment

2009-08-22T15:37:00.003-06:00

I thought about vlogging an update on youtube because I think it would help me with public speaking which I have a difficult time with occasionally, and also because I've picked up a few more subscribers and feel like I should keep them entertained or up to date if they care. I think I would ramble too much though and I don't have access to editing software for now so it would go on too long, I'm sure. Also, I finally got moved in with my friends a couple of weeks ago, and it's hard to find a place/time in the house to vlog quietly. The last vlog I did had to be from my car which kinda weird.

Speaking of that last vlog, it wasn't even for my personal channel on YT. If you hadn't heard yet, I'm part of a new collab channel called SnailMates with my friends Beth and Lucy. It basically started when Beth asked her friends on twitter if anyone wanted to receive letters (snail mail style) from her and both Lucy and I said sure. Then, I think it was Lucy who suggested the collab idea. Unlike just about every other collab channel on youtube, our main way of talking to each other would be in letters/postcards. We'll read the letters on the channel and respond to them then or in another letter. We've been talking on twitter and reading each other's blogs for the better part of this year now, and I think this will help us get closer as friends, especially since Lucy is separated from Beth and I by the whole Pacific Ocean and a hemisphere. Beth is in Alabama and is a HS friend of my sister although I never met/knew her then. But anyways, I hope you'll check that out, it should be fun.

Okay, enough promoting. I basically just wanted to let anyone who cares know that I finally moved back up to Las Cruces after a year and half in El Paso. Mom is almost all packed up to head to Houston with my dad in a few weeks, and Amanda should be coming back up to Cruces soon as well. Both of us are gonna be taking a break from school to work and save up to go back. She's only got a semester left when she does, which I'm proud of her since it's taken me longer to get out of here and I'm still not done (and still in undergrad status). I'm kinda disheartened though as well because it feels like I'll never get through with this school thing and it's mostly my fault, though most of the time I just blame one stupid class that I hate more and more every time I think about it, and really wish they'd drop it as a requirement. Rawr!!

Speaking of dinosaurs (didn't see that coming, did you?), I'm loving living in the new place with my friends from school/Christian Challenge ministry. It's the first time I've lived with people I knew beforehand and who are not family. I mention dinosaurs because before school started back up, we didn't have much to do during the day so we started watching the Beast Wars Transformers cartoon from the 90s, and quote it or make refernce to it at least once a day. We've even converted new fans when friends stop by. My favorite (almost spelled that "favourite"...darn you British and Aussie friends! :-p j/k) thing to do is imitate Megatron who has a habit of adding "yes" or "no" to the beginning and ending of his sentences. *wrings hands like evil villians tend to do when plotting* That will suit me just wonderfully, yes. And my roommates, Isaac and Jeremy, have picked up Optimas Primal's phrase "Well, that's just prime!"....Okay so it might just be fun to us as a kind of inside joke thing, but it's cool to have that bond already as roommates.

Another thing I love about my roommates is how we can have great and random spiritual talks throughout the day and just generally encourage one another daily, even through the little things. This is gonna be a good thing. I just hope I can get a more steady job than working events for the Pan Am Center so that I can contribute more financially other than rent and utilites. Thankfully because there are 5 of us (one is going to be gone for a while on deployment to Iraq) it's not much all split up.

I'm also glad to be back up here to be able to see and keep up with friends I've been missing while I was down in El Paso. I've felt out of the loop and not as close to these people since I've been away. While I was gone though, I made a ton of new friends online through youtube and twitter, and now I just need to find the balance of time spent with both. Yes, that will be quite difficult (there I go again, lol).

There's more I wanted to talk about but I'll probably just tweet more of that kind of stuff throughout the day or try to update this more than once a month.

And just for the fun of it, I'll end this with where I'm at in watching through Beast Wars.

Beast Wars status: Season 2, Episode 11

On the outside looking in

2009-07-16T05:58:00.002-06:00

A few blogs/vlogs/tweets/convos-with-friends recently have got me thinking. It's a feeling/thought that creeps in every now and then and kinda brings me down. It happens when I realize I've made some new friends (more than just acquaintances) but over time our conversations become less frequent. Or I notice that within the group of friends I seem to be the outsider. The one who talks to them or is there to hang out sometimes but isn't included in other activities.This has happend both on and off-line and whenever I notice it I get down.

But I know that part of it is my own doing. I let those feelings fester inside to the point that I sometimes get bitter or upset, thinking I'm not really liked, just tolerated or something like that. I don't speak up, or make my presence known. I sit on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun, being too shy to join in. I'll be some sort of mix of the introvert silently wishing to be talked to or included and the extrovert willing to joke around or lend a helping hand or an open ear/shoulder. I'll stay in and do nothing/waste time not interacting w/ anyone, not b/c I don't like them but b/c I have some sort of social anxiety thing where I feel like I'd be bothering them or that I wouldn't know what to talk about. I'll overthink what I should do and then end up doing nothing but feeling alone.

I know (deep down) that these friends do like me the way I am and wouldn't shun me if I try to join in. Yet I still notice cliques. I notice that they talk to each other but don't include me either b/c they don't quite know me enough or b/c over time they grew closer and I was kinda pushed to the outside. Or I just didn't join in, so I was kinda just forgotten.

I don't want anyone to feel they have to include me b/c of pity or b/c I'm whining about this (though I wouldn't complain if you did, haha). I know I need to make more effort first. I need to join in and at least try to be included. Or I need to not get all mopey/lonely/angsty when I'm not included.

Not sure how to end this, so I'll bring back something I did during BEDA:

Today was awesome b/c
1) This
2) alanlastufka officially released his album he did with Tom Milsom, "Taking Leave" and did a midnight release party on BlogTV (something I joking suggested as a way for those of us not going to the midnight HBP release to still be able to enjoy the night) while everyone else was watching the new Harry Potter movie. During said show, he previewed the music video for the song "Can't" hours before everyone else got to see it. Btw, you should go to dftba.com (or Amazon or iTunes) and buy the album yourself (Alan's donating 25% of his profits to kiva.org)

Location:still El Paso
Mood: melancholy
Music:Dr Horrible soundtrack

2009-05-30T17:14:00.001-06:00

Never left, I was just taking a break

2009-05-03T22:09:00.004-06:00

That title could apply to a few things. I at first just meant leaving this blog for livejournal. I only took a break b/c I didn't feel like cross-posting everyday for a month. Well at least not cross-posting in two other blogs. In case you didn't know I was blogging everyday for the month of April. I chose to that on my new livejournal account because I thought it would be a good way to get more involved with the friends I had there who were also doing this Blog Every Day in April (BEDA) thing. I was cross-posting on another site for a while but that site was related to the person (Maureen Johnson) who started/inspired this thing that didn't exist until a week or two before April.

Anyways, if you didn't know any of that or don't particularly care, that's ok. Just thought I'd share. If you didn't see the notices about the blogs on facebook or twitter, feel free to click on the 1st link and browse through the month or even older posts. Feel free to comment as well. You should be able to leave a comment "annonymously" if you don't have an LJ account or an OpenID account. If you hadn't heard from me in a while those blogs might help you know what's been going on with me.

Speaking of not having heard from or talked to me in a while I know there's a few of you in Las Cruces/@ NMSU that I haven't seen in a while. Which brings me to the 2nd connotation of the title. To anyone wondering, I haven't graduated yet, and I'll still be coming back to finish my degree, but I am currently taking a break from school to work and save up.

I've also been living down in El Paso with my family for the past year (almost to the day I think), but now that my Dad has a new job in Houston we'll have to leave this house. Amanda and I won't be following Mom and Dad down there (Dad's already there getting settled in and working, and Mom will be joining him this summer). The two of us will be moving back up to Cruces when Mom leaves. I have a few friends that I'll be living with (and I'm looking forward to that), but as far as I know Amanda doesn't know who she'll be living with, so if you've got a room or are looking for a roommate, let her know (girls only, sorry guys).

So, that should just about catch you up with what I've been up to and what's going on. If you have any other questions let me know and I'll be happy to answer 'em, or at least try to, haha.

So, there's this girl...

2009-03-30T01:06:00.003-06:00

...and she likes to write. I found out about her through John Green and other Nerdfighters. I've read her blogs and follow her on twitter. If her stories are as fun to read as her blogs I'll probably enjoy them once I finally get a chance to read one. "So who is she?" you may be asking. Well, you may or may not have heard of her, but her name is Maureen Johnson.

The reason I'm writing about her is that beginning this Wednesday she will be starting what she has dubbed "Blog Every Day in April" or BEDA for short, as a sorta build-up for the release of her book Suite Scarlett in paperback on May 1st. If you want to follow this you can read the entries on blog or in the blogs section of her newly created Ning site. As soon as she announced this a few days ago on twitter people were already asking if they could join her in this venture. "of course!" she said. Quite a few people have already commited to joining her including Alex Day (aka Nerimon on youtube) who instead of blogging everyday (which he basically already does...a few times a day, actually) in April will vlog (video log) everyday on his personal channel.

At first I thought I could never commit to doing that, but after giving it some thought I 1) remembered that I did the "8 days of happyness" thing a while back and actually enjoyed it and 2) realised this might be just the thing to break me back into blogging more often so that I don't only come by to post entries that are mostly whining or just too long. This may also just help break me of my over-tweeting problem.

So I invite anyone who reads this to join in with BEDA (or VEDA like Alex if making videos is more your thing), or at least follow along with me or any other BEDAers (especially Maureen) for moral support b/c I know somedays I/we won't feel like writing anything.

DFTBA (Don't Forget To Be Awesome...or Dorks Form the Best Alliances...or Darn Fowl That Bring Ailment)

p.s. I'm cross-posting this on other sites but will only be posting the BEDA entries on my livejournal account or on the ning site mentioned above (search for Sean H.)

So, It's almost that time again

2009-01-30T18:14:00.002-07:00

**Fair warning ahead of time. This is probably gonna be pretty long, or at least longer than my normal posts, so if you don't mind that, then read on! :-p**

Seeing as "the love month" is just around the corner, I thought I'd write about some thoughts I had this morning. Granted the thoughts came together better this morning despite my lack of sleep, but when the thoughts were coming I happened to be no where near a computer. I was on the way to my dentist appointment. Nevertheless, I'll try and make this as coherent as it was then (though knowing my head isn't all that coherent, but oh well :-p).

So, it started as a conversation of sorts with God. Love/like/whatever has been on my mind this week in various ways but it was mostly in my head and to myself minus the vagueness from my posts earlier this week and a few conversations with friends. But the One I wasn't taking any of these thoughts to was God. Then, this morning he initiated the "convo" by sending a blog across my path -- one that I might have just skipped over any other day, and still almost did after starting to read it. It was basically two guys reflecting on how they knew they'd found "the one". Now, don't misunderstand where I'm going with this. I'm not ready for marriage yet and am not gonna say that I've found/met my "one". But it was more the conclusions that each of them reached that I think were what God wanted me to see. Guy #1's "a-ha" revelations included the following:

"I truly couldn’t love Toya until I first loved the Lord. I had to stop looking at my life, and start looking at life through God's eyes and how He sees me. It was then that I realized who I was and who I would serve. It was like my eyes were opened."
"Toya was hidden in Christ and I had to find her by first going through Christ. A lot of women are trying to find a mate; the man is supposed to his [sic] mate. And when he has to go through Christ to find her, the Lord can bless it and give him favor. I didn’t find my wife or obtain favor until I was truly living for the Lord." (sorry, for some reason this text wants to be bold and LJ isn't letting me change that)
This is basically what one of my friends was telling me earlier this week, and when you hear basically the same thing from two or more unrelated sources it's usually something you should take notice of, right? And speaking of that, here is what Guy #2 had to say about when he asked God who his wife would be:

"When I asked God, He answered me immediately. He said, 'Carmen'. It was as if He had been waiting for me to ask. 'How did I know it was God?' you may ask? It’s just like when my mom calls me on the phone. I don’t have to check the caller ID to figure out who I’m talking to. Because I’m in relationship with her I know her voice. And even if we were in a noisy, crowded room, I would still recognize her voice above all others because I’ve spent years with her. Her voice is familiar to me.

The same is true of God. When you spend time with Him you get to know Him and how He speaks as it relates to you. Not only did God speak it, but He also confirmed it through the mouths of three others. It was made more than clear that Carmen was His choice for me."

So, again this convicts me that I need to be in conversation with God (through prayer and reading His Word and even through those who also know and follow Him). I have been making an effort to improve in this lately and I've noticed the difference so that is good. There's always room for improvement in this area though, no matter where I'm at.

Then at the end of his section Guy #2 gives his advice to guys and, really, it's all good but I'll just give ya a bit of the part I liked best. I think it applies to any guy in a relationship, not just marriage. Plus it kinda leads into the next part of my convo with God.

"My brothers, your standard of perfection will never measure up to God’s. Some of you are afraid to trust Him with choosing a mate for you because you know He does not have the same hang ups that you do. When you realize the weight of a husband’s role, you will not want to make that choice based on your own intellect. The husband is called to love. Love is service. Love will carry the weight, and keep believing when everything looks hopeless. Love will not give up when your wife wants to. Love will be patient with her as she is transforming, and will be kind to her even when she’s not. Love seeks no glory but will take the back seat and let her shine. Love will keep you faithful even when it's being thrown at you. The level of spirituality in your household is directly proportionate to your faith in God. "

So this stuck with me and while I was on the way to the dentist I started thinking about how these things about love basically come from how God loves us. He initiates and leads the pursuit of us. He is patient and waits for us to come to Him, while still showing his love for us even when we don't come or take a while to come around. He doesn't give up on us even when most of us would. He is kind to us even though most of the time we don't deserve it. In a way He also doesn't spoil us by giving us everything we ask for, because in the end He knows what's best for us and will ultimately bring us joy and closer to Him. Those were the thoughts that went through my head on that short drive. I basically answered back thanking Him for revealing that to me and just prayed that I can live up to that standard of love.

So, ya that's basically all I wanted to say. Thoughts? Questions? Agree? Disagree? (I'm basically saying I want to interact with whoever reads these....stop lurking! :-p I don't bite)

Day 8: The Last Day(?)

2009-01-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

So the rules of this meme were to do this for 8 days and then tag 8 of your friends to keep it going. I may continue this in my own way by stating a few things that made me happy when I do regular entries, especially if it's a day that wasn't very great overall. It can really help to look back and find the great moments or just the little things that made me happy each day. Yesterday was one of those days when I really just wanted to complain about the problems after getting my wisdom tooth removed, but doing this meme helped find the things to be thankful for. So thanks to

miner_beth

for tagging me! =) Now on to the good stuff:

1) Went back to the dentist this morning to fix the problem that was worrying me yesterday. This time he stitched up the site and it's been healing much better today.
2) Shopping for more soft/cold stuff to eat that wouldn't irritate the missing tooth area (ice cream, applesauce, fruit cups, and pasta salad)
3) Season 5 of Lost began tonight! Lots of "What!???!!!" moments and a few new mysteries to ponder....basically the things that make it worth watching and so addicting.
4) An unexpected conversation.
5) Walking through a little bit of someone's past.
6) Having the house to myself for a little while tonight, even though I didn't take much advantage of it.

And now for the 8 friends. I'm gonna have to tag a few people not on LJ cuz I don't have 8 friends yet on here, and 2 of the ones I do have already did this. So, I tag

genevieve

caseadillas

serenamina

(Liz and Casey I know I technically already tagged y'all in the Nerdfightastic vid, but just play along :-p), Chris Sanchez, Aubree Marlow,Sara Dodson, Mary MC, and Trevor Smith. Have fun with it and I hope brings out the best in your days like it did with mine =)

Days 5-7

2009-01-21T16:32:00.003-07:00

#8 will come later tonight. For now here's the last few days (forgot to copy/paste from LJ...I blame Skype :-p)

Day 5
ok, by now I'm sure ya know the rules....onto the good stuff:

1) Breakfast for dinner
2) Peace that passes all understanding :-)
3) Sharing embarrassing pics online and making someone's day
4) Watching "We Are Marshall" with the family
5) Gunther...nuff said

6) Cardinals going to the Superbowl
7) Telepathy
8) JuNu...again, nuff said

Day 6
1) "FTM (For the Meh)" even tho it got rejected by the Urban Dictionary editors. (maybe I should try merriam-websters next?
2) Having a bunch of new snacks in the house, just cuz Mom felt like it.
3) Pork chops, cranberry stuffing, and yams.
4) John Green on BlogTV, especially the reading of his piece from 21 Proms, and planning a Nerdfighter Morp (that I will wear a pink tux to if it ever happens)
5) Distracting myself from thoughts about tomorrow morning any way possible.
6) Being made fun of in a youtube video. You know you've made when jokes are made about you on the webs :-p
7) Undead Journal, lol. zombies taking over, FTW!

Day 7
1) I got a longer entry in the dream journal today...nevermind that it wasn't the best dream :-p Plus it showed I've got some strong feelings about this.
2) The tooth extraction wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. For one, the anesthesia didn't wear off in the middle.
3) I didn't miss the Inauguration. He gave a great speech. Now to see what he actually can accomplish.
4) I was sorted into Gryffindor today, though I wonder if I might have been in a different house because I was undecided on a few of the answers. Not disappointed tho =)
5) Pudding, bananas and PB&J were the only food I had today. Not the best selection but not horrible =)
6) I got someone started on twitter b/c of my guest spot on the collab channel (Nerdfightastic).

Day 4

2009-01-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
Tag eight people to do the same.

1.) Taking pictures and a short walk (mom couldn't take too much of a hike, plus it was gettin cold by the time we got there) in the Franklin Mtns. just b/c it was a nice day. :-)
2.) Watching "The Notebook" and other shows/movies with people in 4 separate cities and 3 states. :-D
3.) Peanut-butter and crackers for "lunch" and tuna sandwich w/ ramen for dinner *nom nom*
4.) JULIA NUNES CD CAME IN THE MAIL!! =)
5.) Found out I like a band (Our Lady Peace) that I'd heard of but never really listened to, all b/c of a lyric tweet :-)
6.) Emoticons and internet phrases (FTW) :-p cuz I'm a goofball/geek/dork/nerdfighter like that.
7.) Good dreams to write about in my newly started dream journal. (should try and write more details including feelings felt rather than just the basic details tho)

Day 3

2009-01-17T02:54:00.001-07:00

For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
Tag eight people to do the same.

1.) did a guest vlogging spot on a collab channel on youtube that I'm a fan of (and online friends with 5 of the 7)
2.) blogtv chat with one of those 7....2x in one evening
3.) shepherd's pie at the Moose Lodge in Chaparral
4.) "huuuuuahhhh"
5.) finding new music/musicians from the recommendations of various friends
6.) not being sure when the day is technically over cuz some of the happiness crossed days

Day 2

2009-01-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
Tag eight people to do the same.

1.) New episodes of Smallville (even tho the 1st 1/4th had audio sync problems) and The Office.
2.) Planning for tomorrow.
3.) Thinking about putting a package together.
4.) Inside jokes.
5.) Relating to positive ljsecrets and song lyrics.
6.) De-cluttering the garage.
7.) Rereading skype chats

8 Days of Happiness: Day 1

2009-01-15T01:35:00.002-07:00

I was tagged by my friend, miner_beth (aka Beth Savoy), to do this. The rules are that everyday for 8 days you list things that made you happy that day. Then at the end of the 8 days, you are supposed to tag people to do the same. So here I go:

1.) AWANA kids
2.) $5 pizza
3.) Twitter chat's with friends about "Mtv's Made", "American Idol", and poetry/grammer.
4.) New shirt (proceeds go to help sending the evangelist doing the revival at our church to the mission field)
5.) Lost recap episode

If ya don't wanna wait for me to tag ya, start it on your own or just comment below on what made you happy today. =) here's to finding the happy moments in any day!

An update mixed with a bit of nerdfighterlike

2009-01-08T00:57:00.005-07:00

I've gotten pretty bad at regular updates. but I won't promise to update more b/c promises are to be used for more important stuff, like being there for family/friends, or that person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. On that later subject...actually I'll save that for the end b/c there isn't much definite on that front. So I'll start with things a bit more definite.

After more than a year's searching and applying and hearing nothing back I definitely have at least one job again. It's one I had for 3 years, and ended 3 years ago only b/c I was not a full-time student that last semester and I'd worn out the waiver. Then I found out recently that I could re-apply as a non-student (if only I'd known that then, haha). So, I did, and on Wednesday I came in to basically update necessary paperwork. In about a week or so I should be officially confirmed to begin working again as Event Staff at the Pan Am Center! An added bonus is that I'll be earning about $1 and a half more per hour than when I last worked there. Granted, the increase in the minimum wage is partly to do with that, but it was still nice to see. It's the most per hour I've ever had, so I'm happy.

Notice at the beginning of that last paragraph I said "at least one job." That is because I'm also in the process of getting all the requirements met for another job which would be subbing with Las Cruces Public Schools. I still need to do some observations and other little things so I should have some word on that in the next few weeks. I'm more anxious to start that job than the Pan Am job only because it will be the first job related to what I hope to do once I graduate from this school. Which brings me to my next subject...

Am I ever going to graduate? That's the basic question I've been getting from myself and others. I've already been here longer than I should. I want to place the blame on a class or something else, but I've been talking about "the blame game" with a friend and reminding myself that the only thing/person I can blame is myself. I frustrate myself (and my family), but this situation is also starting to make me wonder 1) if this is really my calling? and 2) if it's not, what should I be doing/pursuing? I mean, I'm 25, almost 26 and I'm still single and in school when I thought that by now I'd at least have graduated and started my career, and at least be working towards fixing the single part. I don't even have a "permanent address" b/c I've had to move back in with my parents. But again, I have only myself to blame.

Which I guess vaguely brings me back to the teaser at the beginning and the 2nd half of the title. I saved that for last b/c it's basically just a crush that's grown from a recent friendship. I know, I know! How many times have I talked or hinted at something similar over the course of these posts, only to have nothing come of it? Too many, and it's been like this with me going all the way back to jr. high. I just want to finally strike up that friendship that leads to finding my best friend. I always fall fast, no matter how much I tell myself I want it to just happen slowly, developing from getting to know them better as just a friend. But I'm starting to believe that it is okay to be attracted to each other and still explore the friendship w/o committing to any "relationship status" (that might fall under "it's complicated" on facebook, haha). What do you think? How have you or would you go about something like this? What's worked and/or not worked for you? (I been thinking I need to start making these posts more interactive, so there's your interactivity :-p) .

Oh and if you're wondering what in the world "nerdfighterlike" is, do a quick googling of the word or "nerdfighter" or look up the vlogbrothers on YouTube, or even nerdfighters.com. That should give you a general sense of what I'm talking about. And that's all I'll say about that for now. So, anyways, hope 2009 is going well for you. It's a time of uncertaintly, but it helps to know where your hope lies, which is what is worth focusing on. Despite what I've talked about here, my hope lies beyond a future career or any relationship and I am thankful for that, b/c I can trust it will last longer than either of those other things.

=) Best wishes!

Obama's "Way to go, Brownie!" Moment?

2008-12-10T21:33:00.005-07:00

I've already said to a few people, but not on here yet, that I disagree with Obama choosing Hilary over Bill Richardson for Sec. of State. Oh well...moving on. I'm not qualified enough to make any serious comments about that. I do, however, think I can give my opinion about his choice (and back-up choice) for Sec. of Education, if only because it affects the field I am going to be working in. The following is being passed around the blogosphere and I felt it was worth reposting myself. I will continue to look into and keep up with story as more information comes even if I don't post it here. I ask that you do the same whether you agree with this post or not. Without further ado:

By Greg Palast
for the Huffington Post

Has Barack Obama forgotten, "Way-to-go, Brownie"? Michael Brown was that guy from the Arabian Horse Association appointed by George Bush to run the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Brownie, not knowing the south shore of Lake Pontchartrain from the south end of a horse, let New Orleans drown. Bush's response was to give his buddy Brownie a "way to go!" thumbs up.

We thought Obama would go a very different way. You'd think the studious Senator from Illinois would avoid repeating the Bush regime's horror show of unqualified appointments, of picking politicos over professionals.

But here we go again. Trial balloons lofted in the Washington Post suggest President-elect Obama is about to select Joel Klein as Secretary of Education. If not Klein, then draft-choice number two is Arne Duncan, Obama's backyard basketball buddy in Chicago.

Say it ain't so, President O.

Let's begin with Joel Klein. Klein is a top notch anti-trust lawyer. What he isn't is an educator. Klein is as qualified to run the Department of Education as Dick Cheney is to dance in Swan Lake. While I've never seen Cheney in a tutu, I have seen Klein fumble about the stage as Chancellor of the New York City school system.

Klein, who lacks even six minutes experience in the field, was handed management of New York's schools by that political Jack-in-the-Box, Mayor Michael Bloomberg. The billionaire mayor is one of those businessmen-turned-politicians who think lawyers and speculators can make school districts operate like businesses.

Klein has indeed run city schools like a business - if the business is General Motors. Klein has flopped. Half the city's kids don't graduate.

Klein is out of control. Not knowing a damn thing about education, rather than rely on those who actually work in the field (only two of his two dozen deputies have degrees in education), Klein pays high-priced consultants to tell him what to do. He's blown a third of a billion dollars on consultant "accountability" projects plus $80 million for an IBM computer data storage system that doesn't work.

What the heck was the $80 million junk computer software for? Testing. Klein is test crazy. He has swallowed hook, line and sinker George Bush's idea that testing students can replace teaching them. The madly expensive testing program and consultant-fee spree are paid for by yanking teachers from the classroom.

Ironically, though not surprisingly, test scores under Klein have flat-lined. Scores would have fallen lower, notes author Jane Hirschmann, but Klein "moved the cut line," that is, lowered the level required to pass. In other words, Klein cheats on the tests.

Nevertheless, media poobahs have fallen in love with Klein, especially Republican pundits. The New York Times' David Brooks is championing Klein, hoping that media hype for Klein will push Obama to keep Bush schools policies in place, trumping the electorate's choice for change.

Brooks and other Republicans (hey, didn't those guys lose?) are pushing Klein as a way for Obama to prove he can reach across the aisle to Republicans like Bloomberg. (Oh yes, Bloomberg's no longer in the GOP, having jumped from the party this year when the brand name went sour.)

Choosing Klein, says Brooks, would display Obama's independence from the teacher's union. But after years of Bush kicking teachers in the teeth, appointing a Bush acolyte like Klein would not indicate independence from teachers but their betrayal.

Hoops versus Hope

The anti-union establishment has a second stringer on the bench waiting in case Klein is nixed: Arne Duncan. Duncan, another lawyer playing at education, was appointed by Chicago's Boss Daley to head that city's train-wreck of a school system. Think of Duncan as "Klein Lite."

What's Duncan's connection to the President-elect? Duncan was once captain of Harvard's basketball team and still plays backyard round-ball with his Hyde Park neighbor Obama.

But Michelle has put a limit on their friendship: Obama was one of the only state senators from Chicago to refuse to send his children into Duncan's public schools. My information is that the Obamas sent their daughters to the elite Laboratory School where Klein-Duncan teach-to-the-test pedagogy is dismissed as damaging and nutty.

Mr. Obama, if you can't trust your kids to Arne Duncan, why hand him ours?

Lawyer Duncan is proud to have raised test scores by firing every teacher in low-scoring schools. Which schools? There's Collins High in the Lawndale ghetto with children from homeless shelters and drug-poisoned 'hoods. They don't do well on tests. So Chicago fired all the teachers. They brought in new ones - then fired all of them too: the teachers' reward for volunteering to work in a poor neighborhood.

It's no coincidence that the nation's worst school systems are run by non-experts like Klein and Duncan.

Obama certainly knows this. I know he knows because he's chosen, as head of his Education Department transition team, one of the most highly respected educators in the United States: Professor Linda Darling-Hammond of Stanford University.

So here we have the ludicrous scene of the President-elect asking this recognized authority, Dr. Darling-Hammond, to vet the qualifications of amateurs Klein and Duncan. It's as if Obama were to ask Michael Jordan, "Say, you wouldn't happen to know anyone who can play basketball, would you?"

Classroom Class War

It's not just Klein's and Duncan's empty credentials which scare me: it's the ill philosophy behind the Bush-brand education theories they promote. "Teach-to-the-test" (which goes under such pre-packaged teaching brands as "Success for All") forces teachers to limit classroom time to pounding in rote low-end skills, easily measured on standardized tests. The transparent purpose is to create the future class of worker-drones. Add in some computer training and - voila! - millions trained on the cheap to function, not think. Analytical thinking skills, creative skills, questioning skills will be left to the privileged at the Laboratory School and Phillips Andover Academy.

We hope for better from the daddy of Sasha and Malia.

Educationally, the world is swamping us. The economic and social levees are bursting. We cannot afford another Way-to-go Brownie in charge of rescuing our children.

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Greg Palast is the father of school-aged twins and the author of, "No Child's Behind Left," included in his New York Times bestseller, Armed Madhouse. Palast is a Nation Institute Puffin Foundation Fellow for investigative reporting. Get a signed copy of Armed Madhouse for the holidays for a tax-deductible contribution to the Palast Investigative Fund at www.PalastInvestigativeFund.org

Subscribe to Palast's reports at www.GregPalast.com

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