Everything Nonsense

1 Week Out: Home Stretch

2015-05-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's almost here! It's almost here!! I can almost taste the piiiizzzzaaaa!

In just one week, I'll be getting on stage in this BEAUTIFUL bikini!!!

I can't believe I'm in the home stretch. It actually kinda sneaked up on me!

Not a whole lot has changed in the last couple of weeks. My coach switched my protein sources, so now I'm just eating tilapia, eggs and protein powder. No more turkey. :(

I'm also on a new 3 day carb cycle of No Carb, No Carb, High Carb. I hate it and I feel exhausted almost all of the time.

Other than that, still plugging away with my 50 minutes of cardio 5 days a week. In case you're wondering what that feels like, it feels like this...

But then I take shameless gym selfies to feel better. :)

Yeah, I can honestly say that the cardio is the worst part for me right now. It just takes FOREVER. But...it works when trying to lean out at the end, so it's a necessary evil.

I spent this morning reflecting on this process over the last few months and how much I accomplished in a relatively short amount of time. I grabbed some photos from Jan 24th when I was 15 weeks out and compared them to the photos I took this morning. Wow....I can't believe the difference!

So on that note, I'm going to rest up and get focused, because next week is going to be ca-raaazy. Can't wait to suck all the water out of my body and slap a tan on it! Let's get this show on the road!

3 Weeks Out: Yep...Now it's Real.

2015-04-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I'm back again! I'm officially the worst blogger ever. I can talk and talk and talk, but the second I sit down to write a blog post, it's nothing but crickets in my brain!

So here we are....THREE WEEKS OUT from the NPC Atlantis Competition. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time! I can't believe it's almost here.

As far as my diet and training go, I've started the dreaded carb cycling.

(insert tears)

It hasn't been quite as bad as last time because I'm working with 1,850 calories. At least I'm not hungry!
(UPDATE: I actually JUST moved to 1,600 calories...so I will probably start to be hungry. lol)

It still depletes my energy, but I'm hangin' in there!

My cardio was just recently bumped to 5 days at 50 minutes. Holy moly....that's a lot. That's 5 days of cardio on top of my 4 lifting days that include their own metabolic conditioning and supplemental work. All of this work while constantly planning, measuring and packing my food while maintaining a full time job......I'M EXHAUSTED.

But...I have my good days....

And I have my bad days....

The key is to just focus on one day at a time and one success at a time. And it helps to get myself excited about the very few fun parts of the process. For example, my bikini!!!!!!!

My best friend/bikini partner/therapist/fashion guru Shana and I went to our first bikini fitting!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!

I'm in LOVE with the fabric I chose and I can't wait to wear it on stage! We are working with Jeri Di Competition Suits and we couldn't be happier!

She really took her time to make sure that she was fitting the bikinis to our bodies in order to really showcase the hard work we've put into it.

These are not the bottoms I'll be wearing. These are just serving the purpose of a pattern so she knows exactly how to cut the fabric for my "real" bottoms.

We'll have another fitting next week where we'll be able to see our bikinis more put together.

So I guess I will move onto progress photos. I'm posting a comparison of this week's photos vs. my photos I posted last- which were my "7 weeks out" photos.

That's pretty much it for now. I am focused/nervous/anxious/excited all at the same time. But, I definitely feel a lot better this time around. Shana and I are soooo excited to get on that stage....but more importantly... get OFF that stage to dive face first into some bread and wine! hahaha

Have a great week, everyone!!!!

7 Weeks Out: Still Going!

2015-03-22T15:04:00.001-07:00

Hi! I'm still here!

I was just thinking the other day, "I haven't blogged in a while. I think it''s been a couple weeks." Then I logged on and realized it's been a month!!!! I'm so sorry!

So...to catch you up to speed, I'm still measuring and prepping my food and working out every single day.

The end.

Haha! There's more to it than that, but I seriously feel like a robot every day repeating the same thing over and over and over again. It can get old really fast.

The most recent development has been that I have started carb cycling. I have a 3 day cycle of no carb day, low carb day and high carb day. I cycle that over and over again and it turns my body into a fat burning machine. It's pretty cool, but it does run me down a bit, so it's not a long term solution for your average person.

Ok, here are this week's progress photos:

Other than being tired, I've been feeling pretty happy. I'm happy with my progress and I'm getting excited for my show. Next week I have an appointment to get measured for my bikini! YIKES!

It's getting REEEEAL!

Ok, it's a Sunday and I'm done with my cardio, so I'm going to relax and hang with my puppy! See you all next week!

11 Weeks Out- Road Trip

2015-02-26T14:31:00.000-08:00

In a matter of two days, I managed to drive to Anaheim, grab a workout, get a body scan, have my computer looked at, go to Disneyland and California Adventure, do my cardio, attend a posing class and drive back to Las Vegas. What a weekend!

I have to say….if you are in the middle of bikini training and you want a weekend getaway, I HIGHLY recommend visiting a fellow bikini competitor. It makes things so much easier and so much more fun!

She won’t look at you weird when you roll up to her house with all this:

She will drink clean cocktails with you at a bar! (It’s just soda water and cucumber….no alcohol)

And of course….she’ll be your workout buddy.

I had so much fun this weekend and although I still stayed on point with my food and workouts, it felt like a much needed break.

On to progress pictures. I lost 2.2 pounds this week which was awesome. I also found out that my body fat % has gone down since January. I went from 20.9% to 19.4%! And I believe I’m starting to see a glimpse of abs. It’s woooooooorking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on that note...I will leave you with this little gem...

12 Weeks Out: Stupid Scale

2015-02-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

The scale and I have gone way back. Sad times, happy times and plenty of angry times.

We've been together through thick and thin....literally.

You always hear people say that the scale doesn't matter and how you feel is what's important...blah blah blah. Yeah, okay.Tell that to my driver's license. IT doesn't ask me how I feel. It only asks how much I weigh.

I spent years glued to the scale. Watching that number and waiting for it to tell me I'm "skinny".

It wasn't until I truly learned about health and fitness that I realized a couple of things.

1. I don't want to be "skinny".

2. The the scale isn't everything.

I mean sure...if you eat cookies and pizza every day and the scale keeps going up....it's probably not muscle. But, if you are strength training and eating clean and the scale isn't saying what you want it to say, chances are you are probably still doing something right. And that is when you need to step off the scale and actually take a look at yourself. How do your clothes fit? How do you actually FEEL?

I had to re-learn this lesson myself over the past few months. When I started this bikini process in October, the goal was for me to lose some fat but to also put on muscle.

So I stepped on the scale and took some "before photos". Boy was I not happy.

But, I needed to document my weight so that I had a starting point. It is what it is.

Since October, I have fallen into the same trap I have fallen into before and that many people fall into all the time. I was following my coaches rules with my eating and working out, but the scale wasn't really moving. Some weeks I would lose a pound or two, other weeks I would gain it back and some weeks no change at all.

It was frustrating. When you are passing on restaurants and happy hours, you want the pounds to immediately fly off the scale!

Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that.

So let's fast forward to this last weekend. I did my weekly weigh-in and I was discouraged. Slightly heavier than last week. Ugh.

I sent my progress photos to my coach and to my absolute DELIGHT, he told me that I am "right on schedule" and to "keep it up". What a relief!

So, I decided to pull up my photos from October to compare them to my photos now to see if there's a change. Keep in mind, I currently weigh 2 pounds more than I did in October....but see for yourself why that doesn't matter.

Am I "stage ready"? Absolutely not. I definitely have a ways to go.

But my point is that I have significantly changed in appearance even though that stupid scale was telling me something else.

I'm not here to tell you to throw out your scale. It can be a useful tool to aid in your weight loss goals. But I am telling you to also take photos, measurements or even get a body scan periodically to see where your body fat percentage is. You need to give yourself the whole picture before you go determining your worth based on a silly number.

Ok, that's all I have for now! I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine's Day weekend filled with lots of heart shaped things!

13 Weeks Out: Eating is My Favorite

2015-02-12T21:21:00.001-08:00

This pretty much sums up how I feel every few hours.

Is it time to eat yet?!?!?

And I am legitimately sad when my meal is over!

When you've been doing this bikini thing a while, your life tends to revolve around food.

Whenever I'm invited to do something, my very first thoughts are "Can I take my food?" Or "How long will I be there?" Or "Can I eat right before and then hurry home to my food?"

It can definitely make things difficult and I would be lying if I said it didn't affect my desire to go out. I mean really....sometimes it's just easier to stay home where your food is.

Anyhoo....how about some progress pics?

No big changes yet...but just wait! SO excited for the next couple of months!

On that note...it's time for me to eat again. See ya next week!

14 Weeks Out: Light Switch

2015-02-03T16:39:00.002-08:00

When people see me toting my food around or turning down treats, I am often inclined to explain that I am training for a muscle competition and that I need to prepare/measure/weigh all of my food. What's funny is that probably about 95% of the time the reaction is, "Oh, wow. I could never do that. I don't have the discipline or the willpower." They say this is as if I have been gifted something that they have not.

Here's the thing though. I don't possess more willpower than the next person. I am not free of cravings. I mean...I REALLY love food. I love pizza, wine and yummy desserts. See example below:

The only difference between me and the person saying "I can't" is just that. It's those words..."I can't". As soon as you know that you want something and you are willing to put in the work, nothing will stop you- not even a slice of cake.

It took me a long time to learn this. And I think part of the reason why I'm actually enjoying myself this time around is because I have flipped that switch in my head. It's the switch that says "Time to do work." It no longer phases me to be around people eating my favorite things or drinking wine. You know why? Because those things will all still be there in a few months. And I will have to learn how to enjoy those things in moderation when this is all over.

But right now I have work to do and I have a body to build.

Sorry to get all motivational speaker-y on you! :)

My point is that anyone can do this!

It all comes down to a flip of a switch- the decision to not let yourself down.

And with that...let's post this week's progress pics (taken VERY early on Saturday).

I will post weekly photos even though they will probably all look the same for a while. This really is just for my own benefit to see where I was at various stages. So feel free to skip the photos if you want.

Feel VERY free. haha

Have a great week!

Bikini Competition- Take Two!

2015-01-25T18:31:00.001-08:00

Well....as you can guess by the title, I have actually decided to give this whole bikini competition thing another shot!

May 9th is the date...and I know.... I'm obviously nuts.

There are a few reasons why I wanted to do another one.

I think the obvious one is....umm....yeah, I'd like to look like this again:

But beyond that, I'm excited about making this a better experience!

Last time around, I isolated myself. I didn't go to events. I avoided parties and happy hours. I was lonely. Feeling lonely on top of the mental and physical exhaustion that goes along with bikini training, it made me miserable. I didn't "enjoy the process" like so many bikini competitors say.

This time around, I've been forcing myself to go to events. I went to my company holiday party knowing I couldn't drink or eat. The weirdest thing happened. I actually still had fun! Who knew???

Also, I'm excited to say that Shana, my bikini partner in crime, is going to be competing with me again!!!!!

We are already having SO much fun planning our celebration that night, discussing bikini colors and we are even meeting weekly to work on booty exercises! (Can't work the booty ENOUGH!)

My previous coach, Geoff from Train Insane Gym, agreed to train me long distance.....which is AMAZING! I'm so excited to be doing this with him again. And it has also opened up the door to new friends!

These beauties are training also! Traci and Liz will be competing at Muscle Beach in May. I met them through this process and they are really making it so much more fun! We whine about food and workouts and all things bikini. They crack me up on a daily basis and I'm SO grateful for them!

So I officially started "training" in October to build muscle. I have to say that my coaches at Decibel Crossfit have been so awesome with helping me. They are so supportive and I don't think there are many Crossfit gyms that would be ok with me doing extra work assigned by an outside coach. They truly just want to help me reach my goal and I think that's pretty cool. :)

Since October, I have put on 3.9 pounds of muscle, lost 3.7 pounds of fat and went down 2.7% in body fat!

Pretty soon the best part will begin- the "leaning out" process! That's when I'll get to burn off the layer of fat to see what muscles are hiding in there!

Ok...no delaying it any longer. Here is the first of my weekly progress photos.

Ok....wish me luck on this crazy journey! I'll need it!!!!!!

Quinoa Pizza Crust: Yes, this is real life.

2014-05-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand, I am FINALLY posting my

quinoa pizza recipe!

Just a warning, I will not be winning any awards for presentation in this blog post. But I promise you this is yummy!

I am obsessed with pizza. It's my favorite food in the whole wide world. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to work into a clean diet. In fact, it's impossible.....until now!

This recipe makes two pizzas. They are 100% clean and they are crispy and delicious! Let's get started!

What you'll need:

For the crust:

3/4 cup uncooked quinoa
1/4 cup water
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp minced garlic
Ground pepper to taste

Toppings: You can use whatever you like!!!

Here is what I used:

3 oz shredded chicken
1/4 cup sugar free pasta sauce
1/4 cup low fat mozzarella cheese
1T grated parmesan cheese
Sautéed onions and baby bella mushrooms

Soak 3/4 cup of uncooked quinoa in water for at least 2 hours. I typically soak it overnight.

Scoop out the quinoa with a slotted spoon and drop it into a magic bullet or blender. Add in whatever spices you prefer. I keep it simple with salt, pepper and minced garlic. Add in 1/4 cup water and blend until it's a pancake batter consistency.

Split the batter between two parchment-lined cookie sheets. Spread it out to your desired thickness. Personally, I like to spread it out very thin so that's it's a crispy flatbread. Plus, it makes me feel like I'm eating a huge pizza!

Once you have the batter spread out, bake in the oven at 450 degrees for 13-15 minutes until it's golden brown.

This got a bit more brown than I typically like, but it's still going to be great!

Now get your toppings together!

Peel the parchment paper off the crust and add all of your toppings. Put the pizza under the broiler for about a minute until everything is melty and amazing!

Now it's time to eat!

Enjoy!!!

Healthy Cookie Crisp Cereal

2014-03-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

Hi! I'm in love! I'm in LOVE with Quest bars! These little rectangular miracles have changed my life! If you haven't tried them, stop reading right now and go buy one. SERIOUSLY.

Not only are these little gems yummy by themselves, they are so versatile! You can microwave them or bake them. You can even roll them out into a crust and make a dessert pizza! The options are endless!!!

Today I decided to experiment with a Quest Bar Cereal recipe I found. When I was a kid, I reeeally wanted my Mom to buy Cookie Crisp Cereal, but she wouldn't have it. Something about having cookies for breakfast didn't sit well with her. Now that I'm an adult I can honestly say, "Thank you, Mommy, for not feeding me that garbage!" :)

Let's get started!

You'll need one Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Quest Bar.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Cut the Quest Bar into strips.

Then cut each strip into 4 cubes.

Spread the Quest Bar pieces onto a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Place them in the oven and set the timer for 4 minutes.

Once 4 minutes are up, take them out, flip each piece over and put them back in the oven for 4 more minutes.

After those 4 minutes are up, take them out and let them cool.

A splash of almond milk and you have yourself a super healthy and YUMMY Cookie Crisp Cereal!

The Aftermath

2014-01-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!

I figured since I thoroughly documented my bikini competition, I should probably let you know how life is now that it's all over.

Well, I'm going to be honest. It hasn't been great.

About two weeks after the competition, A.B. and I attended the most amazing wedding in England followed by a week's long adventure in Paris, France. All in all, we were on vacation for about three weeks. At first, I was careful about what I ate and I was obsessive about how my abs were looking, how my jeans were fitting, etc. Then I quickly dove into vacation mode. I was all about, "I deserve this!" and "I have soooo earned it!" It was a lot of fun and I ate crepe after crepe after crepe.

That's where the fun pretty much stopped.

Once we were home, we were set on getting right back on plan. I mean...c'mon. This will be SO much easier than my competition carb cycling, right?? So, we ate clean the first week and nursed our crazy sore muscles from being back in the gym after such a long break.

However, once the weekend came, that sneaky "You deserve this" voice crept back in. Before we knew it, the pizza was ordered and the beer and wine was flowing. Ugh! Who am I???

All the bad eating has caught up with me. No more lines in my tummy and my back looks far less defined. Also, paranoia has set in. I have actually been embarrassed to go to the gym. EMBARRASSED. At first I felt like all eyes were on me and imaginary whispers of "What happened to her?" were being spread around.

Now, do I think people are ACTUALLY looking at me and thinking that? Absolutely not. I'm obviously crazy.

I've learned that this bikini competition can make you nuts. You spend MONTHS obsessing over every bite of food and every inch of your body for this ONE day! And the stage body is not one you can maintain. You immediately lose your leanness once you get water back in you and if you go off the deep end like I did, you can make things even worse.

So before you start thinking that I've completely fallen off the wagon, rest assured that my clothes all still fit and nothing major has really happened. I've also already leaned up a little bit since I've been back on plan. My point is that I feel like this competition has given me a distorted view of myself. And now I am struggling to learn how to do this in moderation. I've proven I can eat perfectly for months at a time for an end goal, but most people can't maintain that longterm. And really, who would want to? I know I don't. But now I'm working to lose the pounds I gained on vacation, which means packing and measuring my food 100% of the time until I get there.

This has been a tough lesson. I'm going to a big birthday party this weekend. The old me would have said, "Well, I can try to lose the weight next week" so that I could drink and indulge at the party. But then next week comes and new weekend plans pop up...and before I know it I've gained MORE weight by Valentine's Day. The bottom line is that the competition is over, but the lifestyle isn't. Will I get cheat days back? Of course! But not until I've worked off my very long vacation. As my coach puts it, I've basically cashed in my cheat meals for a while.

That's a tough pill to swallow.

So, what's next for me?

In my initial craziness of feeling like I had gained a hundred pounds, I was ready to sign up for another competition. I guess I thought of it as a "do-over". Then I realized that's ridiculous. That's not teaching myself anything. I'm going to have to learn how to live normally and maintain a healthy level of fitness while still living my life. I have to learn moderation and by continuously signing up for competition after competition....I won't learn anything that way.

Does that mean I'll never do another competition? I have no idea, but I can say that I don't have any immediate plans of doing one at the moment.

Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long post, but I felt like I needed to get that out....even just for myself. I've been really beating myself up over the last couple of weeks and feeling like I've let everyone down. So, in case you weren't sure, I'm not perfect and I have the same shameful cravings as the next person. It's a constant battle and it probably won't ever go away. If it does, I'll let you know.

Ok, it's time to heat up my ground turkey! Thanks for reading! :)

I DID IT.

2013-12-16T22:43:00.000-08:00

I reached my goal and I could not be more proud of myself!!!!

The two questions I have been getting asked the most are:

1.“So, how was it???

2. “Did you place??”

Well, I can easily answer question #2.

Nope. :)

As far as #1 goes, I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. So, if you’re up for it and if you have some time, read on. If you are just interested in the photos, that’s ok too. :)

The week started out with crazy amounts of cardio and even included a couple of cardio sessions wearing a garbage bag.

Yes, I’m serious:

My best buddy Shana came to town on Thursday night which kicked off this insane weekend.

Friday, December 13^th:

The day before my competition started out with an 8:00 am tan.

A very….very…VERY scary tan. (see below)

This was to be expected, so I was cool with it. After that, I raced home to bake sweet potatoes chips. This was a carb loading day, so I had to eat a bunch of carbs every 2 hours. And not just any carbs- complex carbs that I was positive wouldn’t bloat me. So, that meant sweet potatoes. They actually weren’t too bad. I just sliced them up, sprayed them with zero calorie olive oil spray, seasoned them with paprika, black pepper, cayenne pepper and chili powder and baked them at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes. But, besides the baking, I was scrambling around trying to pack for the weekend. The plan was to get everything packed up, run to Target for a few last minute items and then get to Culver City to check in to our hotel. After a lot of running around, we hit the road. Target was interesting considering I looked unnaturally dark and I was in pajamas but I ~~am sure~~ hope they’ve all seen worse.

We got to Culver City, got checked in and I had a couple of hours to just relax before our athlete meeting at 6:30 pm.

When we got to the hotel where the meeting was to take place, the lobby was crawling with tanned, muscle-ey people. There were some serious characters. My favorites were the girls in the tight bodycon dresses and heels who were dressed like they were hittin’ the club later. I looked down at my workout tank, jeans and boots and wondered if I missed the memo where we were told to dress like we were trying to land a date.

Anyway, the whole process was very chaotic. There was no clear signage of where we were supposed to go or what we were supposed to do. It was all very messy and only added to my already unsettled nerves. I had my coach, my fellow Train Insane Bikini Girls and Shana with me and we all just felt very lost and annoyed. Finally, we got all the proper paperwork filled out, we got our heights measured (incorrectly….unless we have all shrunk) and paid all of our necessary fees. When we were done, I went up to my team’s hotel room for my next scary dark tan…minus my face.

Once my tanning was done, I went back to my hotel room, packed up my suitcase for the competition and went to bed.

Saturday, December 14^th aka COMPETITION DAY!!!!

The alarm went off at 3:30 am so that I could throw on some pajama pants and flip flops and head over to my team’s hotel room for makeup and tanning touchups at 4:00 am. As far as eating goes, our coach had us switch to simple carbs which entailed rice cakes with raspberry jam. YUMMMY!!! It was wonderful except for the fact that we had basically been cut off from drinking water since noon the day before. Sooo….we were pretty thirsty. We were only allowed to have a sip of water here and there.

At 8:00 am we had to head to the venue for another meeting to get the rundown on what we’re supposed to do on stage. At that point, I felt like I was going to throw up. I was thinking, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” That was also when I discovered that the stage was carpeted. I had been practicing on wood floors. Super.

We went back to the hotel to gather up everything we were going to need for the competition. Once we were all in our bikinis, we started taking some photos. :) My coach was happy with how I was leaning out and so was I!!!! I’m not kidding…I was looking in the mirror and couldn’t believe I had abs. So crazy!

We left for the competition at 10:00am. When we got there, we were not allowed to go back to the dressing rooms just yet. This was a VERY big show (400 competitors) and they didn’t have room for all the girls to be back there at once. The plan was to let the bikini girls back there once the figure girls had finished competing. We decided to just hang out in the audience. I found my Mommy and sister and of course, my amazing boyfriend. :) I was so happy to see all of them! My Mom and sister drove all the way out from Las Vegas that morning just to see me compete!

Once the auditorium started really filling up and it got more and more crowded, I got more and more anxious. I was starting to almost panic. It was just so overwhelming. There were people everywhere, I was second guessing my makeup, I was nervous and unsure about my poses because I had no time to practice, people were trying to talk to me, I was trying to make sure I was sticking to my carb loading schedule…..it was just too much all at once. Shana had gotten her tan and makeup done by someone else so she showed up later than I did. When she got there, she took one look at me and knew I was about to lose it. That’s when we grabbed our suitcases and went outside. We followed the building around to a parking lot and found a quiet area on a walkway where we could sit down and just relax. That saved me!

My fellow TI bikini girl Hannah came back there with us and our coach had us working on “pumping up”. We did lots of lunges and other butt/leg moves. We did some band work to pump up our arms.

Once we had properly glued (and I do mean GLUE) our suit bottoms onto our bodies, we went backstage to wait our turn.

I can honestly say that I was absolutely terrified to go on stage. I was standing back there and all the girls seemed so excited. Not me. I knew I had to squash my fear because otherwise I was going to embarrass myself. So, when I heard them call my number, I took a deep breath and 100% faked that I was excited and confident. I did not sacrifice my social life for 5 ½ months just to choke on stage. I hit all my poses and made sure to hold each one so that I could get plenty of pictures. Then I took my place next to the other girls already on stage and just smiled away at the audience.

Once we got off of the stage, I felt a little better. I went out and found my Mom, Sister and Nate. I gave them all huge hugs and I even cried. They all told me how great I did and it felt good to have it behind me.

My coach and the other girls left to go have lunch. Shana, Nate and I decided to go back to our hotel room to regroup. The thing is…this competition wasn’t over. That was just the pre-judging. The finals show was later on that night, so I was supposed to go back and do it all over again. Once in the room, I started crying. I didn’t want to go back. I was tired of being in my gross tan and stage makeup. I didn’t look like me and I was tired of feeling insecure and…well….just “not pretty”. All I wanted to do was take a shower, wash off all of my tan and makeup, put on a cute outfit and go out to dinner with my best friend and boyfriend. I even got to the point of calling my coach to tell him that I don’t want to go back.

Well, that wasn’t an option. He said, “You’ve got people coming to see you. You’ve gotta come back.”

So that settled that.

I then continued to cry. That’s when Shana…my best friend…SAVED THE DAY. She busted out her train case and started working on my face. It’s not like it was bad. It just wasn’t me. She toned down my eyes a bit, gave me a bit of rosiness on my cheeks to help offset the orangey-ness, and we changed my lip color to something more muted. I finally felt like myself again….or at least a closer version of myself. I felt pretty and I was ready to try this whole thing again.

We staked our claim on a corner of the dressing room backstage, laid out a blanket, popped open some wine and started having a little bit of fun while we waited.

I hit the stage for the second time and I did my routine once more. I’m sure my posing wasn’t as spot on as the morning show, but I don’t care. I just wanted to finish it.

When I got off the stage, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I found Nate and gave him a huge hug. I just kept saying, “It’s over! It’s over!”

We didn’t get out of the venue until close to midnight. Shana and I changed into cute outfits and we were ready to go out! Unfortunately, Culver City doesn’t have much of a nightlife..sooo…we went to In-N-Out. We took our food back to the hotel where we indulged in burgers, fries and wine!

The next morning I took a look at my stomach to see if I had inflicted any damage. So far so good!

So…to answer the question, “How was it?”…I would say that I absolutely accomplished my goal. I am so proud of the body that I worked hard for. All the missed nights out, hours in the gym, the actual blood, sweat and tears…it was all completely worth it. I feel amazing!!!! The event itself was a bit of a nightmare and I’m not sure that I’m interested in doing another one. We’ll see. Never say “never” I guess.

And as far as the question about whether or not I placed? Well, honestly, I already knew going into this that I probably wouldn’t place. There are a lot of politics involved and to me, winning a trophy wasn’t the goal. My goal was to get myself in the best shape possible, get on a stage and get some amazing photos. So, I did exactly that and I couldn’t be happier about it. :)

This experience not only gave me a new body, it gave me a new outlook on life, food and fitness. I never want to be the old me again. I love being fit and toned and having muscles. I love getting dressed in the morning and holding my head up high. I have confidence that I didn’t have before and I have proven to myself that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. This was the hardest challenge I have taken on and I did it. I proved to myself that I follow through with my promises and I have the drive to finish what I start. And along the way, I really hope that I have inspired others to do the same. I know it sounds cheesy, but ANYONE can do this! I don’t have magical powers that make me stronger than anyone else or have more willpower than anyone else. I made a decision to change my life and I did it.

Many more photos will come later. I only have a few for now. I’ll be receiving a disc in the mail with all of my images, so I’ll get some of those posted later.

I want to thank my coach, Geoff Etherson with Train Insane Gym for not only training me, but for making me believe that I could do this. I never pictured this for myself or believed that I could look like one of “those girls”. Geoff told me what to do and I did it. We may not have always agreed and I may have run crying to my boyfriend when I felt like Geoff didn’t have a soul LOL

(I’m kidding….kinda)

But he truly cares about me and the other bikini girls and worked SO hard to make sure we reached our goals!

I want to thank my fellow Train Insane Bikini Girls Natasha and Hannah! WE DID IT!!!! I loved our group texts where we would whine about our horrible lives and try to decipher whatever Geoff posted for us for the week. Haha And thank you, Hannah, for signing up for this crazy circus. I never would have done it if you hadn’t gotten the ball rolling.

(P.S. Don’t ever do this during the holidays again)

I want to thank Shana Dahan for not only saving me during the competition, but for helping me keep it together in general throughout the whole process. We always had the dream of looking so amazing that we would be able to run in bikinis. Well, Shana, I think we’re there. Although, I have no intention of actually running in my bikini. Lol

Most of all, I have to thank my love, Nate. I could do an entire post about how there’s no way I could have accomplished this without him. He was so patient with me during all of my breakdowns when I was hating the process. He sacrificed along with me and didn’t eat bad foods and didn’t drink. He measured and packed my food daily. He was my rock and my support 100% of the time and I know I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him. I love you so much, Nate. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It’s finally over and now we can go on vacation!!!!!

Of course I want to thank every single one of you who reached out to me via email or Facebook or through my blog. Thank you for your support! It means so much! Competition training can feel very isolating and it helps to know that people are cheering you on.

I don’t know what’s next for me…but that’s okay. I just want to relax for a while!

On that note, I’ll wrap this up. Thanks, everyone! I’ll post more pics as I get them!!!

1 Week Out: Slooooowly Approaching the Finish Line!

2013-12-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

And when I say "slowly"...I really mean it.

That's me....pulling a sled....with weight on it...in the rain. Haha...never a dull moment at Train Insane Gym!

This week I managed to accomplish two-a-day cardios. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But, after an emotional meltdown midweek, I made a decision to cut the whining and finish my work.

My alarm would go off at 4 a.m. I would hop out of bed, change my clothes and get to the gym. After work, I would change again, get in my car and head back to the gym. I did that schedule three times this week and it was EXHAUSTING. And I'm just talking about my cardio. I still had plenty of other work to do on top of that (see above photo).

This week really tested me on many levels. FYI..when you are carb cycling for as long as I have, your brain stops functioning normally. I misplaced or left things in various places so many times this week. I'm forgetful and clumsy. Ugh..I can't wait to be on a normal balanced diet again.

But, here I am. It's now Sunday and I'm still alive. This week is still going to be tough. Monday through Thursday I will be doing two-a-day cardios, as well as additional work to tighten things up.

I'm hoping that the excitement of it being my last week will be enough to get me through!

My last week...wow...can you believe it? It feels like forever ago that I started all of this!

I started my training July 1st, but I didn't take photos. I have no idea why. But, just to give you some sort of comparison, I pulled up my photos from September 1st and compared them to my photos from this weekend. I am blown away with the progress in just three months!!!!!

I'm so excited and nervous to get on the stage next weekend. I'm excited for it to all be over, but I also just can't wait to see what my 5 1/2 months of hard work has produced!

I will for sure have a huge blog post from my competition. Whether you like it or not, I will be wallpapering this page with photos. LOL

Until then, I hope you all have a great week! See ya on the other side!

2 Weeks Out: Are We There Yet???

2013-12-02T22:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

Here's how I spent mine.....

Yummmm...ground turkey and Sriracha! That's new! :-/

I'm just going to spare you my whiny rant about why I'm annoyed that I'm training for a bikini competition during all of my favorite holidays.

I'll spare you that so I can move onto my whiny rant about all the cardio I have to do now! UGH!!!

I was already doing 5 days a week of 1 hour cardio sessions on top of my 4 days of lifting..etc.

NOW...my coach has informed me that 3 of those cardio days need to be two-a-days.

Two times a day...I need to do a one hour cardio session. Oh..and I still need to do my normal workouts 4 days this week. Oh...and I still need to work my full time job, measure and pack all of my food ALL the time, and last but not least...I was told to make sure I'm getting 8 hours of sleep a night.

Hi...umm...I don't know what calendar my coach is looking at but the last time I checked, there were only 24 hours in a day.

I'm also pretty positive that he enjoys telling me how horrible each week is going to be.

(Yes, Geoff...you know it's true. You LOVE seeing the look of horror on my face.)

*sigh*

I just need to remind myself that I only have 12 more days of this.

12 more days...12 more days...12 more days...

In other news, I get to shave all of my arm hair off for the first time in my life this week. That should be interesting. And I booked the first of a few tanning sessions next week.

By the end of next week, I will be a dark, hairless redhead with an obscene amount of makeup wearing a shiny bikini and heels I would normally never be caught dead in.

Who. Am. I.

Ok...time for progress photos!

I went to Vegas over the weekend for my hair appointment, so my sister had the task of taking my pics. It was 45 degrees outside and I'm fairly certain her neighbors were able to watch this play out.

But really...let's be honest...I said goodbye to my modesty when I signed up for this whole competition thing.

I'm pretty happy with my progress so far and so is my coach, which is great!

That means all of this torture WILL pay off.

Well, I'm off to bed! Have a great week, everyone!

3 Weeks Out: I Think I've Got This

2013-11-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Saturday, everyone! I am sooooo happy that today's workout is over and tomorrow is my rest day! And as if that wasn't enough to rejoice about...today is my high carb day!

I had a much better week this week and I'm feeling very positive. I'm finally feeling like I'm approaching the finish line and I'm so happy with my progress!!!!

As far as my workouts went, I had to do 5 days of 1 hour cardio sessions. One hour really feels like forever when you're glued to a row machine. Ugh. I also had to do all my usual lifting. My coach wants me focusing on my lower body and abs right now as my "extra" work beyond my lifting and cardio. My food is still the same. Still doing the carb cycling thing. It's fine. I'm used to that now. And as long as my body keeps changing, my coach isn't going to change my food. Hooray!

We took measurements today and all my measurements went down from last week. I'm also down another 2 pounds on the scale. All of this is great news and I'm right where I need to be for my 3 weeks out point. :)

Ok..time for progress pics! Here ya go!

I saw some significant progress in my back in just one week! Here's last week vs. this week:

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! Have a slice of pecan pie just for me! :)

4 Weeks Out: I'm supposed to wear what???

2013-11-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I know.

And in case you aren't sure what you're looking at it, that is the BACK of my bikini bottoms. LOL

All I can say is thank goodness I'll have adhesive to stick everything in place!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. It's not that I haven't had the time.

I mean...it's true that I practically live at the gym, but I've had plenty of time on the weekends to do blog updates. The truth is, every time I sit down to write, all I want to say was how I'm so sick of this training. Who wants to read that? Whenever I read other bikini competitor blogs, it's all about how great they feel and how awesome their training is going and blah blah blah. Well, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just more of whiner. It sucked not being able to drink champagne at my sister Jenn's bachelorette party. I was so sad to not be able to go out to dinner with my love on our anniversary. And this weekend, I'm missing my nephew's birthday in Vegas because I can't afford to be away from my gym at this point. At least once a week I cry for one reason or another. I even cried in the bathroom at the gym this morning because I was having a hard time with one of my lifts. I've turned into this emotional basket case and I'm just so over it.

Ok, that is the end of my rant. I will say that I do have my good days here and there. It's awesome to put on clothes that were too tight last year only to realize that they are way too big this year! I never wake up feeling bloated or gross or guilty about what I ate the night before. I feel like I walk with my head a little higher and that in itself is a great feeling. :)

I'm not posting the negative stuff for you to feel bad for me. I know that this is my choice and I am free to quit at anytime. I am posting the negative stuff because it's real and it's what's going on in my head. I think it's only fair to show a complete picture of this process. It's not all cute tanks, FB check-ins and yummy protein shakes. It's a constant emotional and mental battle and sometimes you just want to curl up in a ball and not leave your bed.

So, moving on...I'm four weeks out and I can't even believe I'm getting close to the end. I feel like I've been training for this competition for a hundred years. When it's all said and done, I will have been doing this for about 6 months. Longest 6 months of my life! :)

I have pretty much nailed down all the details. Bikini has arrived, shoes have arrived, makeup and tanning scheduled, hotel booked...etc. I really just need to work on my posing. Poor A.B. having to watch me practice posing in my 4 inch heels in our dining room. For some reason, he seems to not mind. lol

Here are this week's photos. I took them VERY early this morning and realized later that maybe I should have at least smiled. Oh well, I'll smile next week. lol

One view I never post is my back...mainly because I don't know how I feel about plastering my butt on the internet. Anyway, I decided to crop my booty out for the time being. I'm sure my butt will make an appearance at some point. I'm just really proud of the progress I've made in my back! So, just to show you...here is a September picture versus this morning's picture. :)

Thanks again to everyone who reads this and continues to encourage me. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I soooooo appreciate the support.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

7 Weeks Out: Dealing With Meanies

2013-10-27T22:01:00.001-07:00

Why, hello!

I'm sorry it's been a couple of weeks since I've posted. Or maybe no one is really reading this and therefore I'm apologizing to myself. In any event, I will want to look back on this time in my life and see how this whole nutty experience went down. So for that, I need to make sure I keep up on this blog!

As far as my diet and workouts go, the calories have decreased and the workload has increased.

So saying that training for a bikini competition is hard is probably the biggest understatement ever.

It's a constant, 24/7 challenge. If I'm not physically prepping my food, I'm thinking about my next meal or my next day's numbers. If I'm not working out at the moment, I'm planning out what my next day's workout is going to be. There really isn't a moment in my day that does not revolve around planning food, prepping food or working out. The only time I'm really not doing any of those things is when I'm sleeping. I would say that I'm not doing those things while I'm at work...but since that's where I eat a bulk of my meals, I don't really get a break from it there either.

As much as I'm complaining, I did know it would be like this and I did sign up for it.

So... every day I put my big girl panties on, grab my packed lunch and gym bag and I push through.

What I didn't expect are the negative reactions I have gotten from some people.

I want to be clear. For the most part, I have gotten nothing but overwhelming support from my friends, family and of course my amazing boyfriend. I especially love all of my fellow Train Insane gym peeps. They definitely help keep me going!

But what's funny is that there are some people who have gone the opposite way.

Whether it's making fun of my food, making comments about how dumb this whole thing is, or making it a point to literally shove bad food in my face to taunt me with it....I'll never understand why they think that's okay.

Jealousy? Insecurity? Maybe both, perhaps?

All I know is that I have enough of my own challenges to face, so dealing with people like that is exhausting.

Anyhoo, that's my rant for the week.

And for all of the positive people in my life, I just want to say how I much I appreciate you! All of the encouragement and support- you have no idea how much it helps! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!

Ok, enough talking. On to progress photos!

So, A.B. and I have had the most difficult time trying to get consistent lighting in our house. So today, I gave up and took some poorly lit, slightly blurry pics in my mirror. And since my first progress photos were taken this way, I thought it only fitting to compare the two.

So, here they are- 15 Weeks Out versus my current picture at 7 Weeks Out. I'm happy that my waist is shrinking, stomach is flattening out and also happy that I'm building up my booty! Thank GOODness this is working.

That's all for now. I'll be ordering my bikini next week! Yikes! I can't believe we're almost into November and I'm starting to see the finish line. So crazy!

Bye for now!

9 Weeks Out: Carb OBSESSED!

2013-10-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hi folks! I'm back again with another progress report. I'm sorry I've been a little M.I.A. the past couple weeks. I was sick and then I was out of town..blah..blah..blah.

But, I never slacked.... not even a little bit!

I was recently asked by a gym member, "So, how are things going? Is it getting easier?"

It's weird. When I first started this process, I thought the food was the hardest part. I was sad on the weekends because I couldn't eat this or couldn't eat that. Boo-hoo...poor me! Haha!

But now? Now I feel like the training is the hardest part!

Our work has drastically increased and it is so hard for me to fit it all in on top of my full time job.

So, I told her, "No...it's definitely getting harder."

And as far as my current diet goes, we have started the dreaded "carb cycling". So, Day #1 is no carbs, high protein, high fat. Day #2 is half of my normal carbs, high protein, high fat. Day #3 is high carbs, high protein, low fat....and I keep cycling that pattern for now.

It's all more specific than that, but that's a general overview.

Let me tell you...not only are carbs fun to eat...they actually make you happy and make you feel better. My workouts feel so much harder lately. I am easily winded and I don't feel as strong. It sucks. And I find myself always thinking about the next carbs I get to eat. For example, yesterday was a no carb day and I told A.B. last night, "I can't wait to go to bed, because when I wake up, I get to have oatmeal!!!"

Yep...this is what I have been reduced to.

And what's even worse...this too will get harder. Pretty soon our calories will be cut down and my "no carb" days may increase as well. Oh..and if all that isn't enough to kill my spirit, I'm positive my workouts will increase.

But..I have to constantly remind myself that I signed up for this. I knew it was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also going to be SO worth it in the end!

So here are some progress photos. I decided to post some comparison shots. Aside from the fact that I desperately need a tan in order to see any sort of muscle tone, I'm pretty happy that I'm slimming down!!!

It's important for me to see progress. On a day to day basis, I just go, go, go..and I don't pay attention to how my body is looking, When I get to see that it's actually paying off, it really helps keep me motivated! :)

So that's it for now. I think I should be seeing more drastic results over the next few weeks now that our carb cycling has begun. I can't wait to see what version of hell my coach has in store for us. :)

Bye for now!

12 Weeks Out: The Secret to Great Abs- Better Lighting

2013-09-25T20:16:00.005-07:00

Here I am...at the "12 Weeks Out" point. I can't believe it!

Luckily, my coach has not changed my food yet. I do, however, have a lot more work in the gym.

I'm finding that my days seem to be going by a lot faster...probably because my time in the gym has increased so much. I feel like I'm always on the go.

This is a good thing, because I seriously cannot wait to get on that stage...and then get off that stage for a glass of wine!

So, let's talk about my progress photos.

I work hard all week long and I actually get excited to wake up on Sunday morning to take my progress photos.

I usually wake up around 7 and start the coffee. I give A.B. a chance to wake up...which doesn't happen. So usually, I end up bursting into our room yelling, "Ready to take some pics??"

He loves it....probably.

So, in an effort to try to give me more consistent photos, A.B. pinned up some fabric on the wall of our guest bedroom and set up a tripod. I was very excited about this...until I saw this week's photos:

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my photos.

It's just that I was SURE that I had more progress this week. I looked at these photos and I felt like I had accomplished nothing over the past 3 weeks.

So yeah, I was frustrated. I didn't even want to post them.

Then a funny thing happened.

On Monday morning, I woke up for work, took my shower and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed something different.

Umm.... ABS???? Where did these come from???

I felt so much better! It's these little moments that make all of this worth it. It's the best reward and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next!

All in all, not a bad week. I learned a couple of things:

1. I need better lighting in my guest bedroom.

2. My body changes on a daily basis. I need to not get hung up on one photo.

So, that's it for now. I'm currently suffering from a bad cold and it's keeping me from my training. Not good. So, I'm going to pop some Nyquil and call it a night!

13 Weeks Out: This Calls For a Season Change

2013-09-17T14:59:00.002-07:00

This last week seemed to fly by for once, which was nice! The temperature dropped a touch and it seemed like Southern California was flirting with the idea of Fall.

Alas, that was short lived and we were back in the 90's by the weekend. Boooo... :(

I have found that the busier I am with activities that I love, the less of a chance I have to feel sad about missing out on food-filled summer activities. So, I thought about it and came up with a couple things that I love just as much as food and wine.

First- I love crafts and decorating.

Second- I LOVE Fall and I can't wait for it to get here!

Since Fall is the gateway to all sorts of fun holidays, these two loves of mine go hand in hand.

It's only September and we have at least another month of this warm weather nonsense; therefore, I did what any normal bikini competition girl who hasn't had bread/cheese/wine in over a month would do.

I cranked up my A/C and spent my weekend decorating for Halloween.

I even completed a Pinterest craft!

Check out my Halloween wreath that took FOREVER and made a huge mess.

It's so cute though. The mess was totally worth it! I didn't think about yummy food once! If anyone is interested, here's the link to the Paper Plates Wreath Tutorial.

I didn't stop there. I worked on our kitchen, dining room and living room as well. I had so much fun! Here's a peak at our dining room table.

As far as competition prep goes, my workouts have increased a bit more, but it hasn't been too bad. I'm getting used to it and I feel really good.

Of course, next week starts the dreaded "12 Weeks Out" point and apparently that's when it gets REALLY hard. My calories will start being cut and my workload will increase. What a combo!

All I can do is stay focused and take one week at a time, right?

Here are this week's photos. Not much of a change, but that's ok. One thing I've learned is that it's not easy to see change from week to week. I'm thinking in two weeks, I'll post comparison photos to see my progress.

So, that's it for now! I'm hoping that I can find more Halloween projects to keep me busy over the next few weeks. If not, Christmas will be at my house in no time! :)

Have a great week!

14 Weeks Out

2013-09-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

I survived yet another week thanks to Katy Perry's song "Roar" and my love of peanut butter!

If I think about the fact that I'm not competing until winter, while it's currently 100 degrees outside, it seems far too daunting. So, taking it one week at a time and setting small goals makes it feel much more attainable.

This week I was assigned more work in the gym.....working on shoulders and biceps in addition to all of my normal stuff. Now that my workload has started to change/increase, I'm definitely feeling more focused.

My coach reviewed my food this week...which made me NERVOUS. The good....no...FANTASTIC news is that I don't have to cut out my peanut butter!!! Typically when you love a food so much, it's usually bad for you. Luckily, my natural peanut butter (carefully measured out and within my plan) is healthy AND amazing!

The only thing he wanted me to change is to cut all dairy, which for me is just yogurt. No biggie. I only use it in my protein shake and I can easily swap it for unsweetened almond milk.

The other change I made this week is that I have finally surrendered to the idea that I will be working out 7 days a week for the next few months.

*sigh*

It's okay though. I was cramming too much into my 4 lifting days and I feel like it was probably working against me. Now that I'm doing my extra cardio on my non lifting days, I feel much more energized!

On a non-gym related note, my curling wand AND microwave mysteriously broke this week. Both items decided to just stop heating up. Crazy, right? It's like they were conspiring against me. As if training for a competition isn't hard enough, I now have to deal with cold food and bad hair??

Well, the joke's on them because we had another microwave stored in our garage and I just had a new curling wand delivered via Amazon. Take that, universe!

So, as promised, here is another progress photo. I don't see a drastic change this week, but I also didn't cut dairy until Thursday. I'm hoping to see that pay off a little more over the next couple of weeks.

On that note, I'd better get changed to go for my 30 minute run! Then A.B. and I have a Disneyland date tonight! Yay!

Have a great weekend everyone!

15 Weeks Out

2013-09-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

I am 15 weeks out from my first ever bikini competition.

At this point, it's all very surreal to me. I don't think it has REALLY hit me that in a few months I am going to put on a tiny bikini and clear heels and parade across a stage.

That. Sounds. TERRIFYING.

So, in the meantime, I have put it out of my head and I have just tried to focus on one day at a time.

So, how has it been going? Well, at first it wasn't bad at all. Normal meal plan, normal workouts with a little bit of extra rowing (on a row machine) after my workouts. Nothing too difficult.

The last couple weeks have been a bit tougher. We were told we could no longer have processed food (with the exception of limited protein powder post workout) and we could no longer have carbonated beverages. (I've never been a soda drinker, but when I took on this bikini challenge, I suddenly discovered Cherry Coke Zero and kinda fell in love with the poisonous substance.) So really, my days consist of ground turkey, egg whites, oatmeal, spinach, green beans...you get the idea.We have also had to do 3 x 30 min cardio sessions each week on top of our normal workouts and our rowing. It's been a bazillion degrees outside and I have been running in it. Not fun.

I had one particularly difficult day. I ran 3.5 miles in 90+ degree heat, followed by lifting, followed by our metcon which, among other things, included 1.5 miles of running, followed by my 5 min rowing. When I finished my rowing, I put my head down and started crying. I couldn't explain WHY I was crying. I just felt defeated. It was such a difficult day and all I could think was, "This is my life for the next 4 months and it's only going to get harder."

I overdid it.

That was my low point. After a much needed pep talk from one of my girls at the gym, I felt better.

Overall, this has been a good experience so far. I have my moments of sadness when I think about all of the things I have to miss out on over the next few months. But, aside from that, I feel really good. I'm starting to see slight changes in my body and I know that it's only going to get more and more noticeable over the next few weeks. I'm excited to see what my body can do!

Oh, also, I've learned a couple of things during this process.

1. Bikini Comp Prep makes you VERY creative with food. I have ground up my oats and mixed it with 1T of natural peanut butter and 1T of honey to trick myself into thinking I'm eating cookie dough for breakfast.

2. Bikini Comp Prep makes you VERY stingy with food. I looked at A.B. like he was completely crazy when he asked me for a bite of my protein pancakes. "I'm sorry, you want a bite of what? YOU can have REGULAR pancakes!!!!"

Haha...in A.B.'s defense, he has been eating clean along with me and has been my biggest supporter.

I could not do this without him!!!

It's a learning experience and I'm trying to keep myself as sane as possible. I am going to do everything I can to not become an angry, carb-obsessed fitness nut. I will remind myself every day that this is my choice and this is something I want for myself. I have a goal and an end in sight and I just have to take it one day at a time.

This post is longer than I anticipated.

Ok, let's wrap this up....

Starting this week, I'm going to start posting progress photos. Due to poor lighting and lack of equipment, I'm limited to Iphone shots in my bedroom mirror. So, let's not judge me on presentation. The point of this is to keep me accountable. If I know that at the end of each week I have to post a picture of my stomach on the internet, I'm probably going to stay pretty motivated. That's the idea anyway.

So here I am in my fancy sports bra and even fancier pajama shorts. This is a far cry from my tanned "after" photos for my gym, but whatever. This is just me...no makeup or great lighting or spray tan.

I have nowhere to go but up! :)

I can't believe I just posted those. But, I'm doing a lot of things I can't believe, so I'm going with it.

Have a great Labor Day weekend!!!

Crock Pot Yogurt

2013-08-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

Prepare to have your life changed.

That is....if you spend a lot of money on yogurt on a weekly basis like I do.

This recipe is nothing new. I found it on Pinterest and I just had to try it out. AB and I fly through large yogurt containers every other day and it's costing us a fortune!

Now that we've mastered this yogurt experiment, I had to share the news!

Here's what you need:

1/2 Gallon of milk-This can be whole milk, nonfat, 2%...whatever you prefer. I use 2% milk.
Crock pot
1/2 Cup of plain natural yogurt
One or two heavy bath towels
Colander
Paper Towels
Large bowl (large enough for the colander to sit over it)

Let's get started!

One thing to note: You will only need to purchase the plain yogurt once. Once you have made your first batch, you can save a 1/2 cup of your crock pot yogurt and use that as your "starter" for your next batch.

You have endless options with this. Throw it in your protein shake, add fruit, honey...use your imagination!

Enjoy!

Ridiculous!

2013-07-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Back before I decided to do this bikini competition, a few friends and I signed up for the R.O.C. Race (Ridiculous Obstacle Course Race).
Having never participated in this event, I didn't know much about it.
All I knew were two things:

1. It was a 5K made up of ridiculous obstacle courses.
2. People wear costumes.

You had me at "ridiculous".

Sign me up!

Of course, the next logical step was to name our team. We cleverly decided on "R.O.C. Me Amadeus!"

We were pretty proud of ourselves on that one..and even more so when we decided on homemade shirts, rainbow tutus, socks and colonial wigs!

This plan had success written all over it.

Behold the full ensemble!

Since I'm a sucker for a theme, I didn't just stop with the costume items. I went above and beyond...

Nails!

I also took a stab at copying a fun rainbow eyeshadow image that I googled!

Not bad, right???

I even managed to talk A.B. into the whole get-up!

Check out his pretty wig! He fancy.

No colonial wig is complete without a colorful bow!

After we got all dolled up, we headed out to the event!

Now...before you look through the photos of the actual event,

I want to apologize for the obnoxious watermark located smack-dab in the middle of each photo.

You see...there is something else that is ridiculous about this event.

They had photographers throughout the entire course taking photos of the participants, which was great! We didn't have to worry about bringing waterproof cameras and we knew the pictures would be really fun!

What's insane is that if you want to download just ONE photo (and I'm not even talking about the hi-res option) it is $11.99! That's right! $11.99 for ONE photo!

That means if I wanted to purchase all of the photos that they had of all the members of our group, I'd be looking at over $500.00.

The only way I'm paying over $500.00 for photos is if I'm wearing a wedding dress in them.

So, ladies and gentleman, here are the watermarked...and FREE images!

When it was all over, we were soaked and we were grimy!

But, at the R.O.C. Race, they've thought of everything....including one huge foam shower to get cleaned up!

This was SURPRISINGLY refreshing!

Once we were cleaned up, I sadly looked upon the line of food trucks and the beer carts. I knew I couldn't stay.

I admit...it HURT to walk away!

This won't be the last event that has food I have to say "no" to, so I just shrugged, took off my wig and called it a day.

By the time I got home, I was starving. My sadness quickly faded when I whipped up this bikini comp-friendly brunch for myself!

A chicken, egg, spinach, salsa scramble with a whole wheat tortilla! Yummm!!!

So that's it! That was my ridiculous weekend! It was a lot of fun and I'm definitely doing it again next year!

Thanks to my fellow "R.O.C. Me Amadeus" teammates for being such great sports and for not being "too cool" to wear wigs and tutus!

Can't wait to top it next year!!!!!

ROC ON!

Finding My New "Happy"

2013-07-08T22:05:00.002-07:00

Me at 5:00 a.m. with LOTS of black coffee.

I survived two things over the weekend:

-My first holiday on my strict bikini meal plan.

-My first road trip to Vegas on my strict bikini meal plan.

For those of you who don't know, I am from Las Vegas, so most of my immediate family still live there.

Aside from my family members, there is one other very important person who lives there...

My hair stylist.

Because of this, I visit Las Vegas precisely every 7 weeks.

That's right. I go to Vegas to get my hair done every 7 weeks. She's THAT good.

To avoid traffic, A.B. and I decided to leave on Saturday morning at 5 a.m. to make it in time for our 10:00 a.m. hair appointment. (She cuts A.B.'s hair too!)

So, with a little over 24 hours to plan for, we knew we needed to break down and purchase a cooler for our Vegas adventures. We headed over to Target and picked up this baby....

Then the measuring, calculating and packing took place.

It's crazy to see how much food one has to pack for just a 24 hour period!

Anyway, the reason I titled this post "Finding My New 'Happy'" is because I found myself feeling very sad as I approached the weekend.

I was sad because I couldn't eat this....or drink that.

A.B. and I wouldn't be able to go out to dinner or kick back with a pizza when we got home from our trip.

And as I realized that all my happiness was wrapped up in food,

I felt embarrassed.

Seriously, Dawnya? Seriously? You rely THAT MUCH on food to make you happy??

Suddenly, the road to my bikini competition became even longer and I started feeling overwhelmed with my decision.

So, bad mood and all, I stocked up on black coffee and we hit the road for Vegas.

I made it to my appointment and already felt better being a fresh redhead again!

After my appointment, I met up with my girls, Shana and Edwina, for some MUCH needed thrifting therapy! We talked about fitness and eating healthy and the challenges we're all facing.

I can't even tell you how comforting it is to spend time with people who are living the same lifestyle you are. You don't have to explain why you're pulling a tupperware container of chicken out of your purse or why you need to get home to your food after a few hours because it's time to eat again.

Such a relief...and definitely something I needed.

Practically got a new wardrobe for $40. I LOVE thrifting!!!!

After thrifting, A.B. and I headed back to my sister's where I spent the entire evening hanging out with her and my two nephews. It was so great and I loved every second of it!!!!

The next morning we hit the road and made sure to stop at our favorite gas station.

(My favorite because it's super clean and I love the name!)

Ok, so...to wrap up this long post, I'll tell you what I realized when it was all over.

Not only did I survive my weekend...I LOVED my weekend.

I loved my weekend... even though I had to sit and eat oatmeal while my hair was being dyed, ate chicken and spinach out of a container at Starbucks, had to pull the car off the freeway to dig a fork out of my trunk just because it was "time to eat". I managed to pull all of this off and STILL have a great time!

It's the people you love and spending time with them that matter.

Yes, I miss pizza and of course I miss wine. It's not like I'm an alien.

But ultimately, those aren't the things that make me happy and I'm so glad my Vegas trip happened when it did, because I needed this lesson right from the start.

My bikini competition will have many more challenges.

But, in my opinion, I think I won this round...

and I KNOW I found my new "happy".