First of, we all know who Joey Mead is. She is the half-Iranian, half-Filipino model with the British accent, who made waves during the 90s starting from her portrayal of a high-class socialite who preferred street food to expensive French cuisine in an Ad Congress commercial. Her line in that clip was “Manong (older guy), may I buy your balls?“. She was, of course, referring to fish balls, which the old guy was vending on the street.

The Philippines’ Independence day was last month, and this girl provocatively posed ‘nude’ on the cover of Rogue. Nude in quotation marks because she was wearing something… body paint in the country’s red, blue, white and yellow colors.

I am somewhat confused on what the cries of outrage are all about. Is it because the Philippine flag was painted on a nude body? Or is it because the one wearing the flag colors is not ‘wholly’ Filipina? See, there were a lot of turbulent emotions out there, including aghast reactions pointing to strong convictions, including immorality, disrespect of the country’s pride and using sex to sell the concept of nationality.

It is well known that the ONLY thing that will rally the Filipino populace is defense of The National Pride. See how we bristle when we hear of OFWs getting treated like crap in another country? This is commendable in my eyes, as we are aware of this pride, and it’s something that any Filipino shares with other Filipinos.

So, compared to the festering issues that are continuously damaging our National Pride, how could a photo of a nubile lady (with Filipino blood) wearing a painted version of the national flag be an affront to the National Pride? How could it be immoral and outrageous?

We are all naked under our clothes.

Look at the mirror and tell me that’s not ‘just cotton’ covering your naked body. It doesn’t matter what material was used, the fact is…

She is wearing the National Flag, Ladies and Gentlemen, so Let’s ALL Stand up in Salute!!!

• Congratulations Singapore
• I knew it! That show’s Messed up!
• Accidentally Exposing a Game Show’s M.O. (Modus Operandi)
• The Malu Fernandez Controversy: In retrospect
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The secret of words is that an image automatically comes up in a person’s mind as soon as he utters the word or phrase. That image in turn stirs emotion, and incites a reaction. For example, voluptuous could mean several different things to different people; ’soda’ could make someone feel thirsty; and ‘wet’ could be a good thing or a bad thing.

In relationships, the way we convey our message reveals more about how we feel than we think. Hence the phrase ‘reading between the lines’. For example, a girl knows instinctively when her guy is still in love with his ex just by the way he says his ex’s name. In a normal conversation, he usually drops his guard long enough for you to really listen to what he isn’t saying.

Notice how often he mentions his ex? Now, replay the conversation in your mind and take note of how he said her name. Did he hesitate a bit? Did he say “you know my ex, Sheila (pause) … “?

You can say, “there’s a catch in his voice whenever he talks about her”. What happened is that his ex’s name invoked an image in his mind, and he reacted to it. His simple utterance of her name brought up a memory profound enough to affect him, and the listener (you) sensed it immediately.

And, remember, love is just a word unless you feel something when you say it.

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In particular, planning singles’ parties, getting people to talk to each other, preparing the stage for romance and what-not tickle me the most. Event planning is one thing that I, my mom and my sister share. Only, they focus on the food and the decorations, while I focus on the fun activities. After all, once the tedious stuff such as lodging reservations, transportation, club entrance fees, decorations and food plans are set, the real fun begins.

I talked about my ideas for a bachelorette party in another post and mentioned an advertiser, a UK company that sets up the best Hen Weekends in Europe and in other locations. Now, what they do isn’t simply small scale party planning. They are affiliated with several major hotels all over Europe and can plan unique activity-filled days for small or big groups of friends.

The whole party thing seems overwhelmingly complex, but it really just starts with one thing: the willingness to help people. A question that I and other would-be planners should answer is: am I ready to go the extra mile for people to experience the best party ever?

Again, a promising ‘maybe’.

:D

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A reader, Anne (not her real name), recently sent in a question about her guy friend/suitor problem. Like every one who has ever been in that gray area between love and friendship, she is confused and more than a little bit excited at the thought that she could be more than just friends with a long time homie.

Here’s her question:

• Hello!! I came across you website and I thought I might ask about a particular guy that I’m interested in… Well first off, we’re pretty good friends, although, over the past month we’ve started to get closer. We have just been hanging out more by ourselves rather than hanging out in the group we always hang out in. I’m just wondering if he’s starting to have feelings for me because sometimes he’ll say that he misses me. Also, the last time that we went to the movies alone, he put his arm around me and we cuddled throughout the entire movie. Would a guy do that with a girl he just likes as a friend? Also, sometimes he’ll call me before he goes to sleep. Could I be overanalyzing this?

Anne’s story is a classic friends-to-lovers dilemma. While we would love to have a clear line between love and friendship, there is none. What we do have is that transition period when everything gets so confusing that one seeks outside influence to figure it out.

Here’s my response:

• Hey, Anne. There’s a thing called ‘mutual understanding’ which happens when a friendship reaches that exact point where you are now. It’s like, you’re very good friends and have now been thinking about each other romantically, and every sweet gesture (arms around each other in the movies etc) adds to that.This phase will ONLY be broken (you and your guy friend proceed to the love phase or go back to ‘really just friends’) if…

• 1. One or the other risks asking “What are we?”. This is usually the unspoken question that never gets asked because the “mutual understanding phase” is very comfortable and safe, though open-ended. And,

• 2. One or the other gets in a relationship with a third party. Remember that under the ‘barely lovers, more than friends’ banner, there is no exclusivity. You have not yet committed to a serious relationship and can be open to others coming in.

So how about it, peeps. What do you think?

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For a period, time was a friend, an ally that helped me get over something I’d rather forget, like a relationship given up for the sake of growth or some other BS reason. ‘Time heals all wounds’ is an old cliche that I tell people looking for advice on how to get over their broken relationships.

It’s like every day, we wake up and start anew. It takes more and more effort to remember the things that pushed us to almost give up on life a few days ago. Sleep erases the more destructive things from our minds when we succumb to it, like our spirit’s built-in defense against self-destruction. This is related to my theory of sleeplessness during depression. It’s as if we know that when we sleep, we will forget the more salient stuff about why we’re depressed. For some perverted reason, people need to fuel their anger, which will miraculously disappear if we take care of ourselves a little more.

Time became the enemy for me when I let myself be eaten up by lethargy. I was in a dead-end job that paid me less than the price of peanuts for everything I put out, but I didn’t mind because I was too afraid to venture out. In the process, I let time lull me into a fake sense of comfort, not knowing that the more I let my talent die, the more I lost the urge to cultivate it. And before I knew it, I became an aging geek in denial who realized too late that a rut job is no better than a rut relationship; it sucks up your energy ’til you don’t have any left for anything else.

This diatribe of sorts was influenced in part by an advertiser’s request to choose a watch from their Tag Heuer line and share it with my readers. I chose this pink beauty.

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• On Friendships and Forgetting

If you’ve been chatting for a while and joining a few or all of the free dating sites available in the web, you must know about online personalities. These are the “people” we project online, and while we are still who we are, our online personalities may not be understood or looked upon as accurately as we think, compared to our offline ones.

I am an advocate of the Keepin’-It-Real way of presenting my online personality, so that those who are avid readers of my blog will find that they can talk to me offline in the same way as they do here in this blog’s comment section. Why do I prefer this approach when I have been warned time and time again that while I may be sticking to the ‘real-me’ principle, others may not be?

This is because of one fact and one fact alone: I may have connected with these friends only over the internet, but I will do everything in my power to meet them in real life someday. And, when that happens, I don’t want them to feel cheated of the time they spent talking to a fake online personality.

Aherm. Now, let’s talk about The EB.

What to expect during a one-on-one EB, or what we call “The First Real Date”

• The other person may not be as talkative in real life as in chat. Some of us are more eloquent online, and for good reason. How else are we supposed to interact online, if we don’t type words on our keyboards? ‘Shyness’ online is tantamount to never chatting with anyone. I have observed in the past that the most gregarious people over the net are the most quiet offline. These people are more comfortable typing than actually talking, and you should adjust to that if you want a successful offline date.

• There could be SEX, particularly if you have been having cybersex or been behaving like a real couple, albeit online. For those who don’t know, cybersex is just a techie-fied version of ‘pleasuring one’s self while fantasizing about the other person’. It’s usually done through erotic language and/or naughty use of the webcam. Still think letting your minor roam the net is a good idea?

• Photos may not be accurate. While we’d like to believe that photographs reflect the truth, there are certain computer softwares created just to beautify photos that are normally bland. But at the same time, I do believe that beauty is always based on personality. The best thing about internet dating is you meet the personality first (provided you both believe in keeping everything real). One girl once told me “but he seemed so handsome online” and I gave her a bristling wake up call. If you judge a book by its cover, an online relationship (or any relationship at that) might not be for you.

• The flame could burn out. This isn’t unusual. The way you connected over the net may have been real, but after you meet offline, there’s that possibility of never thinking of each other romantically again. Why does this happen? Online interaction is basically just friendship, and going beyond that means you want something more than just friendship. Chemistry could happen or it could not, and there’s no assurance that clicking so well online will lead to a fruitful relationship.

Nonetheless, we can keep on chatting, searching and hoping that we will find the ‘one’ through this never never land called The Internet. After all, love does grow in the weirdest places.

None Found

EyeBall (EB) is a term coined to describe two or more people meeting offline for the first time, following a period of chatting online. The mere mention of this word takes me back to the time when I attended several EBs in a week. In fact, some of the best dating memories I will keep with me forever are from EBs.

While it is the prerogative of any chatting couple or groups to have their EB any time, a Grand EB is a completely different thing. It’s a massive event that needs proper planning, a lot of sponsors and several weeks of preparation.

Here’s a simple guide I prepared to help you organize your own Grand EB with minimum hassle.

Finding sponsors. The key to choosing who to approach to fund your event is knowing the demographics of your online community members, i.e. common factors such as age, ethnicity, interests and hobbies etc. The questions to ask yourself before writing a sponsorship request, include:

• Does this company offer a product that my members will like?
• Will this company benefit in the long run after this initial introduction to my group?
• Does this company NEED more publicity? Do they have a new product that they are launching soon?
• Does this company have a history of event sponsorship? Are they open to partnership requests?

Let me illustrate the next steps with an example.

• I am throwing a party for my community in a particular dating site. I know that my members have established certain relationships with each other, and are looking to explore new levels of connection e.g. real dates. The venue will be a spacious function room in a cozy hotel where singles can either dance or simply sit around to talk. To be partly sponsored by the hotel itself (one that could offer accommodations at a discount to my members).

• I will then look for a good artist who will provide romantic ambiance through music. My choice is a violinist (like my friend Diwa) because of the soulful sound of any music created using a violin. He can meet potential clients within my group, couples who may get married someday, or men who may need music to properly propose to a girl they met in the party.

• Food will be sponsored in part by an independent caterer who specializes in date food, innovative finger food, like hors d’oeuvres, that doesn’t take much effort to eat while talking to another person.

• And, because I know that some members have already broken the friendship barrier and are already dating online, it is highly advisable that I partner with a company specializing in safe sex products like condoms. This is particularly applicable in Sex EB’s (to be discussed in another post, so you’d better subscribe *wink*)

None Found

The Ram is the symbol of Aries, the pack leader and the promoter of any organization. He is steadfast and dependable, energetic and strong. This tattoo signifies his greatness (and initiative to be the leader at all times).

This is Taurus, The Bull. No less unmovable than Aries when he makes a stand but will set aside everything for his loved ones. He is clannish and endearing, and mostly tame as long as you don’t wave the red flag.

Gemini is the most complex sign, if you don’t know where to look for vulnerability in his personality. He binds you in words and mischief, he jokes with you til your quest to find ‘the real him’ is completely diverted

Cancer is the sensitive Zodiac personality and that trait is particularly symbolized in this tattoo… The complexity is gently hidden and shows up only in moods, while a gentle wave comes out every once in a while to tickle you.

Leo is majestic and proud, and this tattoo’s representation does him justice. He is a simple guy with simple wants… EVERYTHING. Bigger than big, grander than grand… he doesn’t mince on his dreams and his efforts to take the world by the balls.

Virgo is sensitive too, only if it’s practical to be sensitive. He won’t sacrifice pragmatic reasoning just because he’s feeling emotional. He will do what needs to be done and then deal with the emotional issues after. He’s the perfect employee, but watch him run out when the party gets too lewd for his taste.

Libra’s balance is accurately shown in this tattoo. That he weighs things for benefits and disadvantages can be annoying, but someone’s got to do it, and they’re good at presenting both sides of a coin.

Scorpio wields magnetic power over everyone who dares to come close enough to feel his sting. His innocent face can go from soft to granite in seconds, while you are left in the dust wanting him all the more.

Sagittarius will never let you rest… laughing. They seem like the busiest people with so many stuff to do during the day, and then you realize that they spent just about a few hours just kidding around with you.
They will make the best promises and wait ’til you follow their lead before dropping hints that they weren’t going anywhere after all.

Capricorn tattoo expresses the same discipline that a person born under this sign practices on a daily basis. Every nuance is carefully implemented and each has a purpose. What results is a balance between social and home life, and between personal and business.

Aquarius! This is my favorite of favorites among the zodiac tattoos! The two figures represent water pouring from the proverbial Aquarius maiden’s jar, indicating temperament, tolerance and moderation. They do look like powerful waves, but at the same time, they seem like giant scythes to me. Maybe it’s just me. Such a strong representation for one of the tamest signs of the zodiac.

Pisces. This tattoo represents Pisces accurately, as do other figures like the fishes going in separate directions. There’s a conflict going on inside every Pisces. A conflict that only he or she can explain. It has a lot to do with his belief of the ideal and the cynical truth that he is so sensitive to. The best part of this sign is its ability to take the opposing factors and manipulate them towards getting his goals. He’s like a double agent, working both sides of the force to his advantage.

Many many thanks to tattoo fashion for the images. Although they use these symbols for henna tattoos, I’m sure they will look better if rendered in ink. :D

For More Information on Zodiac Personalities of Men and Women, Kindly Visit My Zodiac Sensing Pages

• Flower Choices and Zodiac Signs
• Jewelry and the Girls of Astrology
• You ask, I Answer No.4: Thought-Provoking Love Questions
• You ask, I Answer no. 1: Free Compatibility Reports
• Pisces Pisces Love That Almost Made It: Free Zodiac Compatibility

Behind the success of WomanSavers.com is Stephany Alexander, a dating expert who gives constructive advice to women who got burned by their relationships with men they met online (and offline). She asked me to advertise their services further, and obviously, it gives me great pleasure to do so.

I’ve been to that site a few times since I discovered it, typing some friends’ names in the search box and finding out who’s been naughty. The report-a-guy areas are wonderful, and there ARE cat fights (the guy’s supporters vs. complaining women), but the purpose of the site is noble. The very best guys you could meet online receive sterling recommendations (and a few ‘c’est domage” tears), while the sneaky, deceitful, perverted men are rated poorly by the women unfortunate enough to date them.

I pointed some of my guy friends to that site and asked them if they felt a little pang of fear as they typed in their names or chat aliases on the search bar. Most said “no, of course not, I’m just trying to humor you”, but they admitted to feeling anxious that one of their ex-girlfriends could have reported them. Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do…..?

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I am going to use a hen party model that an advertiser specializes on, they call it Hen Weekends, and they operate in the UK. At first I thought a pole dancing school theme for a bachelorette party won’t work here in the Philippines but then again, why not? It’s an all-girl night out and soon enough people here will catch the trend.

The wildest girls’ night out party I attended was a few years back. It took a lot of planning but the party itself didn’t follow the program we set up. First off, they decided to scrimp on the stripper budget. And then, they asked me to do the choosing.

Girl Friend: Woobie, we decided that you should go out and hire a male dancer for the party.
Woobie: Oh no, I already volunteered to cook the pica-pica.
Girl Friend: You don’t understand, sis. This isn’t a request. It’s a dare.

So off I went looking for a male dancer who will agree to dance for a pitifully small amount of money. The pros were expensive and for good reason, they’re really hot and can dance. Since the budget was limited, I decided to prioritize those who can put on a good show, never mind the good looks (tightwads can’t be choosy).

I was surprised to find many guys willing to strip for a roomful of giggling girls, and many were eager to show the merchandise before i paid down payment! Meeting one who fits the criteria, I prepared for the criticisms I will receive from the budget-loving girls.

They snorted and rolled their eyes up until the ‘dance number’. During which they screamed and clapped, and had a good time over all. Oh yeah, it was a Full Monty.

:D

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