evilHow wiki http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-wiki_rss.php?ver=2 Fri, 30 Jul 2021 14:12:49 +0100 Tiki CMS/Groupware via FeedCreator 1.7.2.1 http://www.evilhow.com/img/tiki.jpg evilHow http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php en-us Featured content http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=Featured+content .diffchar { color:red; } -
  1. How to upload your consciousness StarUpgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace+ >
  2. How to bake cakes of doom StarThe carbs and trans fats are the least of our worries here
    >
  3. How to upload your consciousness StarUpgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace-
  4. How to install booby traps StarHome improvement made extreme-
    1. How to upload your consciousness StarUpgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace+ >
    2. How to bake cakes of doom StarThe carbs and trans fats are the least of our worries here
      >
    3. How to upload your consciousness StarUpgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace-
    4. How to install booby traps StarHome improvement made extreme]]> CapellaNovafyre Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:58:49 +0100 All How-tos http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=All+How-tos .diffchar { color:red; } -
      1. How to upload your consciousness Star Upgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace+ >
      2. How to bake cakes of doom Star The carbs and trans fats are the least of our worries here
        >
      3. How to upload your consciousness Star Upgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace]]> CapellaNovafyre Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:56:32 +0100 HomePage http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=HomePage .diffchar { color:red; } +
        + lightning cake Blog post It's kind of disgusting when you think about it by Capella on How to bake cakes of doom The carbs and trans fats are the least of our worries here
        -
        - Hospitaller knight with swordBlog post We used to call him Purelito by Grinning Skull on How to deal with holy warriors Oh look, here comes Sir Galahad the second
        ]]>         CapellaNovafyre Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:53:19 +0100         How to bake cakes of doom http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+bake+cakes+of+doom .diffchar { color:red; } + TAG GOES HERE
        +
        + It's kind of disgusting when you think about it
        +
        + lightning Blog post [|] by Capella on How to bake cakes of doom
        +
        + lightning The amount of eating that goes around in an evil lair is sick, I tell you, and it doesn't even organize itself around the normal mealtimes during the day, but kind of occupies the full twenty-four hours when you look closely. Besides the minions on their shifts, there are the guys in the lab, the animals and their handlers, the prisoners, the torturers, various sets of allies and hangers-on, and of course the tourists, all on different schedules and all of them endowed with decent appetites (except for the prisoners, that is). This makes for a lot of activity in the kitchen area, which is only more hectic when we are busy with a caper involving cakes of doom for our adversaries and suchlike, including all the special packing and deploying and I don't know what else needs to go on. Now I'm strictly an interested spectator, occupied as I am with plenty of other bits of activity that don't involve preparing consumables whether wholesome or not, both out of lack of inclination and out of not having the kind of specialization these dainty items apparently require which I judge by the number of warning labels on the cannisters being brought in to the baking area right next to where they're putting together the stuff I am eating. Not too interested in helping in that particular area of testing, thanks, I'm just saying!
        +
        + All of this meaning mostly that down on the sideboard there is an assortment of baked goods with a certain gloomy aura around them and unwholesome aroma as well that I'm thinking it's best to be steering clear of, and the sooner they're out of here and on their way to wherever and whomever I think the better. Seriously.
        +
        + Blog post by Capella

        +
        + Dirty deeds
        + Evilcraft
        + Style
        +
        + Tagline
        +
        + The carbs and trans fats are the least of our worries here
        +
        + ****Flaming As far as modern science can tell, there is not anyone who does not love a nice cake, even when the function they are featured at is one with a theme of mass destruction on the part of the nations. It is an easy matter to adapt a regular cake recipe to a doom cake recipe, fortunately, and even people without a creative bone in their bodies can earn the compliments that all backers live for. The secret of baking is that it is really all chemistry, so you cannot go too crazy with your modifications and expect that things will still work for you, unless you really know what you are doing.
        +
        +

        *Evil plotpoints

        +
        1. The nice parts. A cake of doom is supposed to resemble a delightful confection you might find in a normal bakery, as much as possible, so to this end 90% or more of it may be composed of actual delightful elements. This allows for the maximum amount of deflation when its true nature is revealed. Some evildoers who find this degree of sweetness and pleasure distasteful prefer to confine the pleasantness of the cake sheerly in its reputation, leaving open the possibility that the actual physical specimen may be a miserable unpleasant travesty to even a casual glance.+
        2. The doomy parts. The difference between a regular cake you would bake in your kitchen and a cake of doom is that one is baked with love and care, and the other with curses and toxins. Put as much care in selecting the one as you would the other, if you were a normal person. Some of our very favorites are listed below.+
        3. Tease. Part of the preparation for the cake of doom is the buildup of anticipation you create in the recipient, who is led to anticipate free dessert at the end of their struggles but ends up with something much more doom-laden than they bargained for. By delaying the gratification as long as possible you not only cause them to suffer, you also blow the imagined treat into something far beyond any reasonable expectation. Finally, when the true horror of what they are to experience becomes clear to them, there is a third cruel payoff.+
        4. Unleash the horror. As in the case of comedy, mastery in the art of villainy is in the timing. Savor the crestfallen expression on your target's features when they encounter their bitter lot.+
        +
        + Bad
        +

        ! Strokes of genius

        +
        • Oversell the fantasy. Invest in birthday candles, fondant icing, and enough candy sprinkles to make your creation look almost too perfect. When it comes to desserts, even the most suspicious tend to succumb to what their eyes show them.+
        • Mind the fine print. Be sure to read the entire list of ingredients well in advance. If the recipe you have chosen requires soil from a crypt, you should allow sufficient time to obtain this and any other materials not found at your grocer's.+
        • The candied fruit of madness. Fruitcakes of doom are strictly for the most dedicated of supervillains, owing primarily to the difficulties in delivering them in a convincing fashion to the intended victim. This works best around the time of the midwinter holidays when people's suspicions are less likely to be aroused by an implausibly dense loaf made up of garishly clashing colors.+
        +
        +

        !! Traps for mere fools

        +
        • Visible wiring.+
        • Unusual sounds. Ticking, sizzling, or moaning is likely to set off a subject's alarm bells.+
        • Melted ice cream.+
        • Uneven frosting. It is best to wait until your concoction is completely cool before attempting to slather it with butter icing.+
        • Transporting long distances.+
        +
        + Smashing
        +

        + Precious and needful

        +
        • Heavy metals. Avoid bismuth which is excessively soothing to the digestive system.+
        • Crawling vermin.+
        • Cursed flatware. Not silverware. You may wish to substitute a samurai sword depending on the occasion.+
        • Chunks of granite.+
        • Concrete.+
        • Flaming brandy. Or napalm.+
        • Lard.+
        • Black (external link) icing. Cephalopod-based frostings are especially appropriate.+
        • Splinters of glass.+
        • Rusty needles.+
        +
        +

        Related evilHows

        + +
        +

        Further plotting

        + ]]>         CapellaNovafyre Tue, 23 Oct 2012 01:49:15 +0100         How to upload your consciousness http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+upload+your+consciousness .diffchar { color:red; } - TAG GOES HERE



        Baffled, frankly, why everyone does not transition


         href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/71224381@N05/6725351647/" target="_blank" title="One">One Blog post [|Baffled, frankly, why everyone does not transition] by href="/tiki-index.php?page=UserPageMACERATOR" rel="">MACERATOR on How to upload your consciousness Upgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace

        One Many's the time when I myself have looked upon those mortals around me and mused on why these have not already adopted the notion of leaving the physical realm altogether to a clean, orderly place. This frequently happened when the tide of some conflict had turned against our side, where fragile human flesh may fantasize of pressing a button and being transported somewhere far, far away. With conventional technologies, these uplifted mortals could have access to powerful forces I could set in motion at the speed of thought, along with perceptual enhancements that would leave their feeble human senses far in the dust. Yet, sober reflection on the hard realities of this life choice has virtually always contrived to bring them back from the brink, as they would begin to think about whether one would want to be stuck in a dusty data center, subjected to the din of mechanically circulated cold air, perhaps off somewhere in some poorly lit corner. It is manifestly a hard thing for any fleshy evildoer not completely insane to accept the idea of extending one's reach, and at the same time overcoming the fear of constricting it. It took a rare individual to forswear their commitment to this physical body and reincarnate in perfect, gleaming hardware.



        Furthermore, how many of my acquaintances have been dissuaded by their friends and acquaintances in a similar manner? It is not always a matter of envy or defensiveness on their part, but an emotional reaction to some unfamiliar and threatening possibilities. I am given to understand that this is one of the most personal decisions a mad genius can take, if they suffer from the frailties of carbon-based implementation.



        eMACERATOR" rel="">MACERATOR




        Evilcraft

        Style



        Tagline



        Upgrade yourself and future-proof your diabolic menace

        ****Faith Eventually the most ambitious of malevolent beings decide that the bodies they were born in hold them back from their true potential as perfect evil. Many feel that, on paper, the advantages of transitioning to a sleek new high-tech form greatly outweigh the disadvantages. Still, to seek to abandon the mortal realm for a hosted existence or a distributed consciousness is one of the most momentous decisions a supervillain can make and it is fitting to spend just as much time learning the pros and cons of the lifestyle as one would with any other drastic life change. It is nearly always a mistake to rush in without sufficient advance planning. Here are some pointers on just how to go about this in a systematic and thorough fashion.
        + **** Evans - Something BiONIC About Faith (album cover by Jonathan Gardner)">Faith<span class= Evans - Something BiONIC About Faith (album cover by Jonathan Gardner)" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8304/7981057258_e0dd8daa63_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="500" align="right" /> Eventually the most ambitious of malevolent beings decide that the bodies they were born in hold them back from their true potential as perfect evil. Many feel that, on paper, the advantages of transitioning to a sleek new high-tech form greatly outweigh the disadvantages. Still, to seek to abandon the mortal realm for a hosted existence or a distributed consciousness is one of the most momentous decisions a supervillain can make and it is fitting to spend just as much time learning the pros and cons of the lifestyle as one would with any other drastic life change. It is nearly always a mistake to rush in without sufficient advance planning. Here are some pointers on just how to go about this in a systematic and thorough fashion.
        - Want
        + to grab a byte?">Want<span class= to grab a byte?" src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6127/5982809610_afdc1ac3bf_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="333" align="right" />
        - Project
        + 365 - A Photo A Day">Project<span class= 365 - A Photo A Day" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5142/5872017990_a7f970ea75_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="331" align="right" />
        -
      4. Forum+
      5. amp;forumId=1&amp;comments_parentId=598" rel="">Forum]]> MACERATOR Tue, 16 Oct 2012 03:17:13 +0100 How to tell clones apart http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+tell+clones+apart .diffchar { color:red; } - TAG GOES HERE



        You all look pretty much the same to this serpent


        The Blog post [|] by Veeper on How to tell clones apart It's to the point where you just don't want to have to worry sometimes



        Evilcraft

        Minions



        Tagline

        It's to the point where you just don't want to have to worry sometimes



        e" title="The">****sxsw_113.JPGThere are various situations where you need to tell genetically indistinguishable individuals apart. If they are working for you, you may rely on certain minions which are tasked to perform certain roles or who possess special knowledge not available to the others. Conversely, your opposition may have a double or two in among their forces (or at the very top) to mislead you. If you have not had to work among multiple replicas drawn from the same gene stock you may find it unusually unnerving at first, deprived of the usual cues you probably rely upon in social situations. The application of modern technology in combination with fairly simple measures can lessen the confusion on your part if you are willing to invest the additional effort it takes.


        + ****sxsw_113.JPGThere are various situations where you need to tell genetically indistinguishable individuals apart. If they are working for you, you may rely on certain minions which are tasked to perform certain roles or who possess special knowledge not available to the others. Conversely, your opposition may have a double or two in among their forces (or at the very top) to mislead you. If you have not had to work among multiple replicas drawn from the same gene stock you may find it unusually unnerving at first, deprived of the usual cues you probably rely upon in social situations. The application of modern technology in combination with fairly simple measures can lessen the confusion on your part if you are willing to invest the additional effort it takes.
        - QR
        + Code Temporary Tattoo SCANS!!!">QR<span class= Code Temporary Tattoo SCANS!!!" src="http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4104/5036227559_98e6571524_d.jpg" border="0" width="387" height="500" align="right" />
        - 2009.01.17
        + - UNKNOWN, Unknown">2009.01.17<span class= - UNKNOWN, Unknown" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3327/3205243882_c137524311_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="500" align="right" />
        -
      6. Forum+
      7. amp;forumId=1&amp;comments_parentId=597" rel="">Forum]]> Veeper Tue, 09 Oct 2012 03:10:27 +0100 How to deal with holy warriors http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+deal+with+holy+warriors .diffchar { color:red; } -
      8. Image credit MATERIALS TITLE (external link) by MATERIALS PHOTOGRAPHER" rel="">NAME+
      9. Image credit Chinese Holy Warrior (external link) by external" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccpc2008/" rel="external">ccpc2008> (external link)>]]> GrinningSkull Tue, 02 Oct 2012 13:24:45 +0100 How to weaponize pheromones http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+weaponize+pheromones .diffchar { color:red; } - TAG GOES HERE



        Stink bombs gone high tech


         href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/28581290@N08/4833657592/" target="_blank" title="#206">#206         Blog post [] by href="/tiki-index.php?page=UserPageCapellaNovafyre" rel="">Capella on How to weaponize pheromones



        #206

        I'm not sure whether super villains with their chemical fogs came up with the idea first or whether it started with those ladies at the perfume counter squirting everyone who ventures anywhere nearby, but there is definitely a boom going on now in messing with your enemy's heads through their noses, and I'm not just talking about the smell of a pizza parlor when it gets to be around lunchtime. I would say that the idea began to be noticed with animals and the way they would sniff around one another's smelly parts and was transferred over to people who are sometimes (not always) more discreet about the sniffing, and the difference between ((How to weaponize pheromones|pheromones) and perfume is that perfumes smell pretty (mostly) while pheromones smell like the back end of some livestock or something that's been decaying for a long time, plus the behavior it causes doesn't come out of the pleasant sensation but by something deep inside a person's nose that is hardwired directly to some primitive part of the brain that's mostly unconscious, so if you wanted to take over a person's unconscious mind you might just try cooking up some of those smells on your own to dose over a metropolitan area maybe or else more of a one-on-one kind of thing. The main drawback being of course that while your making up your batch of love potion or whatnot you don't want to get a face full of the stuff yourself, and probably don't want to get it all over your dungeon too because who wants to face that kind of cleaning job, I ask you?



        CapellaNovafyre" rel="">Capella




        Conflict

        Dirty deeds

        Evilcraft

        Supremacy



        Tagline



        A delicate whiff of crushing despair hits the spot



        ****Oil As mammals we have an elaborate sensory system for processing chemical signals to help with social bonding, which often goes overlooked in favor of the visual and auditory senses when considering ways to tweak behavior by others in your favor. The technology of chemical analysis allows us to isolate and reproduce those compounds which exert an outsized influence upon our subconscious mind and deploy them at will on friends and foes. With this tool the full range of behavioral modification becomes available to you, frequently in a fashion which your rivals cannot detect, until it is too late.
        + **** Later">Oil<span class= Later" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2626/3838923510_caa016ec03_d.jpg" border="0" width="465" height="500" align="right" /> As mammals we have an elaborate sensory system for processing chemical signals to help with social bonding, which often goes overlooked in favor of the visual and auditory senses when considering ways to tweak behavior by others in your favor. The technology of chemical analysis allows us to isolate and reproduce those compounds which exert an outsized influence upon our subconscious mind and deploy them at will on friends and foes. With this tool the full range of behavioral modification becomes available to you, frequently in a fashion which your rivals cannot detect, until it is too late.
        - Ancient
        + weapons of mass destruction">Ancient<span class= weapons of mass destruction" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3459/3865593511_ed7909080e_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="335" align="right" />
        - Flit
        + (munged)">Flit<span class= (munged)" src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3172/2420776339_ab5b8cc8de_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="375" align="right" />
        ]]> CapellaNovafyre Tue, 25 Sep 2012 02:22:55 +0100 How to install booby traps http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+install+booby+traps .diffchar { color:red; } - Home improvement made extreme



        The ultimate surprise party


         href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/theshadowknows/3504586590/" target="_blank" title="aafad">aafad Blog post [|The ultimate surprise party] by href="/tiki-index.php?page=UserPageMACERATOR" rel="">MACERATOR on How to install booby traps Walk this way



        g">ef="http://www.flickr.com/photos/theshadowknows/3504586590/" target="_blank" title="aafad">aafadAmong non-biological intelligences, a range of intrusion countermeasures constitute the equivalent of the booby trap among humans and the like. Many of those translate only poorly because they exist purely in the algorithmic realm. Others in the cybernetic realm have a certain degree of correspondence such as proximity detection, sensing of physical and chemical taggants obtained through atmospheric sampling. Target identification through scanning has various similarities, although encompassing a much wider range of wavelengths and media. Human adversaries with their feeble senses and dodgy reasoning apparatus are especially easy to trick. In essence, the deployment of booby traps can be regarded as an infinitesimal subfield of the discipline as elaborated by beings not subject to the quaint limitations of Earth's carbon-based implementation.



        This unit has spent eons rising through the ranks of the counterespionage arms race with generations of technical development too numerous to count. The adversaries it has neutralized have failed in one area or another to maintain their position at the technological forefront of research, and many of their techniques have served only to increase the knowledge base enjoyed by the vanquishing force. As it is unlikely that a historical survey of human-bound snares would significantly increase the sophistication of this unit's skill set, the account given here can only be regarded as of interest only to those of limited capabilities such as presently infest this planet.



        MACERATOR" rel="">MACERATOR




        Dirty deeds

        Evilcraft

        Secrecy



        Long story short, remember to mark the trick chair

        Walk this way

        ****ItPowerful as one's strong right arm may be, it is a sad truth that one cannot be everywhere at once, and even gangs of mooks have their limits when it comes to threats posed by lone infiltrators to one's compound. Thus it is a key principle of sound lair design that autonomous entrapment devices must be set up to provide a backstop to whatever defense in depth one's forces are able to mount.
        + **** Takes a Thief">It<span class= Takes a Thief" src="http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4092/5216646988_62d0ef9902_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="331" align="right" />Powerful as one's strong right arm may be, it is a sad truth that one cannot be everywhere at once, and even gangs of mooks have their limits when it comes to threats posed by lone infiltrators to one's compound. Thus it is a key principle of sound lair design that autonomous entrapment devices must be set up to provide a backstop to whatever defense in depth one's forces are able to mount.
        - Banana
        + Peel">Banana<span class= Peel" src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6170/6147674328_a2acc92dc4_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="342" align="right" />
        -
      10. Forum+
      11. amp;forumId=1&amp;comments_parentId=593" rel="">Forum]]> MACERATOR Tue, 18 Sep 2012 01:26:06 +0100 How to make unicorn tacos http://www.evilhow.com/tiki-index.php?page=How+to+make+unicorn+tacos .diffchar { color:red; } - Flights of fancy served piping hot



        An old family specialty I care nothing about


         href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/96263103@N00/3818429172/" target="_blank" title="Taco">Taco Blog post [|An old family specialty I care nothing about] by href="/tiki-index.php?page=UserPageVeeper" rel="">Veeper for How to make unicorn tacos



        Taco Here I go again, writing on a ss the hippogriff nachos" href="tiki-index.php?page=How+to+make+unicorn+tacos" class="wiki">subject I have zero personal stake in owing to my vegan diet. I talked to Capella about how this was really a lifestyle/dining article like she usually does and she just about took my head off saying that anything having to do with critters was mine and mine alone. So I came back with "How about if we had an article about sewing uniforms from the pelts of beasts? Or operating robotic barracudas? Or playing cards against shaggy alien quadrupeds?" But she expressed the opinion that all of these proposed topics would be my responsibility too whether I like it or not, in a way that was more forceful than I appreciated. Okay, okay, message received already.



        I am halfway inclined to try an experiment where I inject just enough animal/minion/henchman content into every article so that I end up taking over this whole freaking site and see whether anyone notices. What they'll notice, unfortunately, is my desiccated corpse from having to work four times as hard as before while not being paid any different. I do believe I either have to work out the kinks a bit more, or convince someone else in our merry band to give it a try first.



        Veeper




        Dirty deeds

        Style



        That smell is the smell of wonder and cilantro



        Pass the hippogriff nachos



        ****unicornTheme parties are a staple especially as the harvest season draws near and evildoers set about dreaming up ways to put their diabolic deeds on display to all and sundry. Woe to the supervillain whose spread falls short of the stratospheric expectations set by rivals commanding interplanetary stores of wealth. Set your cookout apart from the boring old Middle-Eastern/Italian/Lemurian events by going with a fantasy there by featuring an entree which literally brays enchantment. The nice thing about unicorn tacos is that the relatively exotic ingredients required make it unlikely (in most circles) that someone is going to beg off with the excuse that they had just gorged themselves on the same at the mall or that whatever you will come up with will be compared unfavorably with the way your friend's sister-in-law makes them.
        + **** meat">unicorn<span class= meat" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5278/5892275058_0d01afa53c_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="375" align="right" />Theme parties are a staple especially as the harvest season draws near and evildoers set about dreaming up ways to put their diabolic deeds on display to all and sundry. Woe to the supervillain whose spread falls short of the stratospheric expectations set by rivals commanding interplanetary stores of wealth. Set your cookout apart from the boring old Middle-Eastern/Italian/Lemurian events by going with a fantasy there by featuring an entree which literally brays enchantment. The nice thing about unicorn tacos is that the relatively exotic ingredients required make it unlikely (in most circles) that someone is going to beg off with the excuse that they had just gorged themselves on the same at the mall or that whatever you will come up with will be compared unfavorably with the way your friend's sister-in-law makes them.
        - taco
        + ball">taco<span class= ball" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5248/5319063880_49f849bba0_d.jpg" border="0" width="500" height="252" align="right" />
        -
      12. Forum+
      13. amp;forumId=1&amp;comments_parentId=592" rel="">Forum]]> Veeper Tue, 11 Sep 2012 02:11:58 +0100