EOM: The MarriageLease

Social Networking on The MarriageLease.com

noreply@blogger.com (Mark) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:57:00 +0000

I wanted to share something with the readers which only emphasize how common the marriage lease idea really is. As part of our strategy around building Communities, we are building a Social Network around The MarriageLease™.

The idea isn't to make it a "dating site" per se but rather a community where people can network around the concepts on marriage. They can agree, disagree, and sometimes agree to disagree but the end result is discussion.

I'm sure there will be the occasional girl meets guy who both think TML is a good idea. This will certainly be a new twist on relationships. This could simply be a meeting site for those who do not believe in full committal relationships for the long term. Hey, there’s an idea.

Stay tuned for Social Networking on TML!

Mark

Lease with an option to buy by Shadow Phoenix

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 01:25:00 +0000

Here's another interesting view on a marriage lease and associated finances. Shadow Pheonix's idea proposes that your individual assets merge over time depending on the success of the marriage. There's also some thought on what happens with the finances incase of a divorce prior to the time when the assets are completley and permanently combined.

Read more about this idea at: http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Leased_20Marriage

-J

Till Death Do You Part - Sembe’s Weblog

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 20:48:00 +0000

An interesting spin on the financial side of things as they relate to what Sembe calls a "5 year renewable contract". While Mark & I think that the MarriageLease should only be renewed once and then be a truly forever contract, Sembe proposes an interesting concept that could be part of an actual marriage lease.

Read more about Sembe's idea here: http://sembe.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/till-death-do-you-part/#comment-3

-J

New Site!EOM: Evolution of Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:45:00 +0000

Hi everyone, we're excited to announce that a new site has just gone live. It's called EOM:Evolution of Marriage and it's a place that will allow us to explore other subjects (beyond the marriage lease) in the Evolution of Marriage including same sex marriage, staying single and having a family, divorce, relationship support and more. Check it out at http://www.evolutionofmarriage.blogspot.com/

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Marriage Leases The Future of Wedded Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 14:53:00 +0000

Check out this article by Michelle Williams where she concludes: "In today's throwaway society, why not lease our spouses? Sooner or later, odds are we're going to get rid of them anyway, at least this way, it will be done with a lot less drama.In today's throwaway society, why not lease our spouses? Sooner or later, odds are we're going to get rid of them anyway, at least this way, it will be done with a lot less drama."

Read the full article here: Marriage Leases by Michelle Williams

But what about the Romance? (Part 3, Finale)

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:51:00 +0000

The MarriageLease™ Romance

Enter The MarriageLease. All of a sudden, The Forever Factor is not a factor because in this arrangement, forever is not a given and is explicitly eliminated from the equation.

You see, with The MarriageLease, there is a predefined and agreed to execution date for, well, basically for a prenuptial agreement. From the beginning, from the moment you both say “I do” you are fully aware that in 4, 5 or 7 years you will both be officially divorced from each other.

You will be Single.

Solitaire.

You will be alone in this world and not have a partner to lean on, take care of you when you are ill or help you make those tough choices that will forever impact your life. Most of all, you’ll feel really uncomfortable. You don’t realize it at the time, but by now you are accustomed to each other.

And you’ll become single without the typical ugliness involved with today’s divorces because you’ve already agreed to the arrangement as part of The MarriageLease.

This marriage will not be taken for granted. It is not going to last forever. You both have already agreed to the final outcome.

And you want it to last forever, don’t you? (At this point, imagine yourself on a couch and a fat man with a hairy beard oscillating a coin on a chain asking you that question. Yes it’s a bad thought but best you not to see a shrink to begin with. And yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition.)

Well then, you better keep working on it and ensure that you and your partner are completely and absolutely committed to the marriage. Committed to work on making this marriage last well beyond The MarriageLease. The jokes for what happens (or doesn’t happen) after the wedding night will no longer apply. These things will continue to happen if you want the marriage to work.

Seriously, isn’t this what marriage counselors all over the world tell the couples going through therapy as they desperately try to avoid divorce? Don’t they try and make you understand that you must work at the ‘relationship’? You must seek to understand each other and compromise in order to ‘make it work’. Even that statement has the “work” word.

This is no joke, it requires work. It’s just that, when we’re young and dreaming of marriages, families with 2½ kids and white picket fences with spot running around and a tire swing hanging from the old oak tree that no one person ever told us the reality of the situation: you must work at the marriage in order for the marriage to work.

So what about the kids? Well, if you’re that unsure about the marriage, try not to have kids before the lease is over and you’ve decided to stay together. Just some wise words… ;)

The MarriageLease ensures that both of you know, from the beginning, that this marriage will not work unless you both consciously decide to make it work. And, for many of us, making it work means working at keeping romance in the relationship. However you define romance is up to you and your partner. Regardless, you need to keep the romance in your marriage and keep working so your relationship lasts well beyond The MarriageLease.

The MarriageLease, like a prenuptial agreement, is not for everyone. Only you can consider if this is the right option for your marriage.

-J

But what about the Romance? (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:13:00 +0000

The Marriage Romance & The Forever Factor

Once married, many people seem to think that this means you will be together forever. In fact, this belief is so strongly a part of our culture that we ignore the divorce rates that are telling us otherwise. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimate that if current trends continue, 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce (see actual statistics at http://www.divorcerate.org/). What are we thinking?

There are countless numbers of jokes that highlight the effect of forever in a marriage. There’s this one where the man gets his last you know what on the night before his wedding because his wife won’t have to do it again after the ceremony and then there’s the one where the wife is complaining about the husband never taking her out on a date or doing anything romantic since they’ve been married.

Why do these jokes exist? Because we’re funny people? Maybe. Are they based on reality? Well, yes. For many, they are based on reality and make fun of what typically happens in a marriage. Why would one partner stop trying to make things romantic and generally stop trying after marriage? Well, it’s simple. If marriage is supposed to be forever why should I need to keep trying? We’re married now, you are stuck with me “for better or worse” so suck it up buddy! I actually heard the argument from the wife to the husband say, “Hey, you need to be nice to me because I’m still your wife!” Shouldn’t marriage be a product of love, not love a product of marriage?

Can you see the irony in this? It just doesn’t make any sense but aligns completely with human nature. I don’t think it has to be this way. In fact, we believe there must be a better way and The MarriageLease may just be that better way.

In the final part of this series we’ll explore The MarriageLease Romance

But what about the Romance? (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:14:00 +0000

Some people have asked the question “But what about the romance?” when discussing the MarriageLease™. In this 3 part article I’ll explore this question and my perspective on “Romance” and its relationship to marriage and finally, exactly what does the MarriageLease™ imply for the Romance.

Do you have Romance in your relationship today?

I think the title could’ve been “Does ANYBODY really have any romance after the 2nd year of marriage bliss?” I’m not sure what having or not having a MarriageLease has to do with having or not having romance. When marriages began a few thousand years ago, were they about the romance? Or was it about the land, and cows... lots of cows. Love, I would clearly state, grew between the tribal couples over the years. How can we expect to talk about marriage when the people who created it to begin with didn’t even consider romance as a needed factor?

Let’s fast forward to the now. Do you have romance in your relationship today? If so, why? If not, why not? Of course, a few of you might just be that lucky that you have naturally romantic tendencies between you, but the rest of us are not that lucky. I would call this the honeymoon period. It’s also affectionately known (by Mark’s wife) as the period that goes away quickly, way before the guy even notices that it’s gone.

If you are experiencing a romantic relationship, odds are that you have romance because someone, or in the best situations, both of you are trying and making the time for romance (aka off the wall sex or maybe sunset walks on the beach holding hands) along with the planning and creative thinking necessary to make romance (aka, time after off the wall sex is over and the sun has set) work for you. If you are not experiencing romance (meaning sex and walks on the beach at least a few times a month) in your relationship I would bet that at least one of you is not making this a priority in your life and for your relationship. This holds true regardless of your relationship status being married, dating, committed or in a MarriageLease. Mark would like to add that “he would bet a MarriageLease would increase the amount of sex because the marriage will end at a given point of time. It’s like writing a paper when you’re a procrastinator. At D-Day, you’ll be typing away like mad."

In part 2 of this 3-part series we’ll explore The Marriage Romance & The Forever Factor

-J

Article asks “Marriage – Can it survive?”

noreply@blogger.com (Julian) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:25:00 +0000

Here’s some excerpts from an article entitled “Marriage – Can it survive?” that we found at YikesKids.com (http://www.yikeskids.com/yikes/hottopics/hottopics9.htm). The article discusses the options of marriage vs. marriage lease.

“As in any good and effective partnership, it is imperative that one communicates with the other in honest and open fashion. We need to renew our love vows by falling in love with our partner each day. We need to share our feelings, thoughts and long term visions with one another. The commitment cannot be taken for granted. We should not be afraid of being absorbed by our partners. Love should not be a leash and collar, curtailing our desires. The love of two people should form a synergism of something greater than their individual love.”

At The MarriageLease we completely agree with the statements in the above paragraph. We are also realistically looking at the dismal divorce statistics (in essence of full disclosure, I’m one of these statistics and my friend Mark is not – he is continuing to successfully work at making his marriage a success). We believe that some of us are impacted by The Forever Factor and that we need to be reminded that we should not take this other person for granted.

“Leasing your partner makes perfect sense, if you believe that a marriage has to become stale over time. If you believe that a marriage has to deteriorate over time, then you negotiate the end before it begins - leasing. If you believe that marriage is an antiquated concept and that in time you will probably cheat on or replace your spouse, then you want a short term lease."

At The MarriageLease we do not believe that a marriage “has to become stale over time.” In fact, we firmly believe that a marriage should remain full of excitement, passion and romance - if it is what you desire. We also firmly believe that both partners should be clear that being marriage does not mean that either one of you or both of you are therefore entitled to forever without making an effort.

In fact, we agree with the premise of Gus Appignanesi, the author of the article quoted above, that a marriage requires work, probably hard work at times in order to remain exciting and develop into a true long-lasting romance. A marriage should be a relationship worth cherishing as you become, together, old and gray.

We want more people to be together through the nice times and easy times as well as the not so nice and the tough times so you can end up in a lifelong partnership with your true soul mate.

The MarriageLease, like a prenuptial agreement, is not for everyone. Only you can consider if this is the right option for your marriage.

-Julian

We're not the only ones thinking about this...

noreply@blogger.com (Mark) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 22:53:00 +0000

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/131205/marriage_leases.html

There are a few things about Michelle William's article which I don't agree with off the bat. For instance, I don't think that once you go through the lease, let's say for 6 years, you should have an option to lease again. At that point, the couple should really know if they want to stay together.

Offering another option to lease only says that "Look dear, I'm STILL not sure if I want to be with you for the long haul. How about another lease?" I guess it could work. What do you think?

Another topic is what happens if one person wants "out" from the lease before the contracted time? Or what if one partner screws up? I think those situations would be in the lease contract with some kind of penalty if both partners agree to it before hand.

Hey, this topic may not be new, but for actually putting something together and making it happen, there are a lot of things to think about.

What are your thoughts?

www.themarriagelease.com

noreply@blogger.com (Mark) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:08:00 +0000

I think all the indicators are pointing that marriages are coming and, well, going at a rate too high to notice. Let's call it what it is. We're at a point that maybe we, as a society, should look at the reality of our situation.

TheMarriageLease.com does just that. This company is the first of its kind in creating a MarriageLease(TM) solution for couples who want to "try before they buy".

So why not a trial period? It's much different being married than engaged so we cannot simply call the engagement an adequate trial period. I would describe the engagement phase a ramp that speeds up the courting of the couple. Think of it like a rollercoaster cart going down a skateboard ramp, and a lot more unstable. As it speeds up to marriage, some couples can stay with it and get married. Other couples get nervous as it gets too great in speed and crash and burn.

Now we get to the marriage. This is where the real test begins so why not a trial period.

Visit the site and comment on the concept, the site, or if you're interested fill out the form.

Thanks!
Mark
Founder