Remember when airlines could sell themselves by conjuring up distant notions of either elegance, or liberation? There was a time when passengers flew because air travel was perceived to be exotic (Pan Am), or stylish (Braniff), or simply liberating (Southwest). During this era (roughly 1965-1985) the airline industry took full advantage of human nature by producing ads that typified beautiful people traveling to lovely places, and having wonderful fun along the way, all of it aided by the lucky work of handsome pilots and perpetually sexy “stewardesses.”

Well, with all apologies to Donald Bain (author of the iconic “Coffee, Tea or Me?“), you won’t be getting any of that here, today.

In the words of the immortal but unsexy Bob Dylan, “the times they are a-changin.” Which is not to say that airline advertising in the modern era isn’t fun; there has just been this cultural shift which, for the life of me, I can’t explain:

First up video: Southwest Airlines “showcases” its male employees in an ad designed to illustrate just how different an airline it is:

Next, Virgin Atlantic, in typical British style, pushes the boundaries of wacky humor, Bee Gee worship, and public sensibilities in an ad designed to convince you that you really do want that upgrade:

Finally, in a slightly more dated ad (1990’s; Braathens SAFE was absorbed into SAS Scandinavian in 2004), this Norwegian airline shows us that air travel can definitely perk up the romantic side of married life:

OK, I’ll relent: If you’re really despairing of those long-ago days of exotically romantic travel by air, I’ll leave you with this link for a recent ad by Korean Air that is the most beautiful, sexy and memorable work of airline advertising that I’ve ever seen. (Why can’t an American airline produce ads like this?)

Although most of the media attention has drifted away from Haiti over the past month, as new quakes have occurred in both Chile and Turkey, the situation in Haiti remains dire even by third world standards:

•  The death toll will top 300,000; 1.3 million people remain homeless and half of these are without shelter of any kind; sanitation and safe water supplies are critical needs everywhere.
•  Haitian children are some of the quake’s most tragic victims: Hundreds of thousands of kids have been killed, injured, orphaned, separated from their families, or left without roofs over their heads or schools to attend.
•  The 2010 Atlantic hurricane season commences in June, and is sure to wreak further havoc upon an already wretched situation.

Airline people are the salt of the earth for being among the first to say “Let’s get on the plane; let’s go; let’s help.” Now it’s my turn. Please, if you have a moment, look at the photos and read the first-person account of a medical first responder. Then, send me. Together, we can do a lot. Thank you.

(On Twitter? Please go here and retweet to your network. Thx)

Which airline is it? Here are some clues:

•  Citing terrorism concerns, a too-controlling flight attendant told Battelle that use of iChat with a laptop camera was a breach of aircraft security.
•  As “proof,” the FA trotted out an un-updated, pre-wifi policy manual declaring prohibitions against two-way air/ground communications by passengers.
•  This airline is SO serious about controlling wi-fi chat aboard its aircraft that it configures routers to block packets from Skype, Google Voice, and other popular services, but apparently didn’t think about Macs and iChat.

Figure it out yet? I thought you would. In the meantime, I’ll let John Battelle tell his own story. Please have a look; it’s a good read.

What to make of this, as a customer service phenomenon? Is it a typical case of 1) onboard bad-attitude, 2) poor service implementation or training, 3) rush to market with an incomplete product, or 4) some combination of all three? Is it really possible that United Airlines sees video chat as a potentially more sinister terrorist tool than say, email or text-messaging from a laptop while in flight?

Honestly, I think that this event is just a foreshadowing of more customer annoyance to come; i.e., yet another “unbundling” of a service that flyers expect to be free. My guess is that United is planning a “two-tier” wi-fi offering in its onboard services. Low-cost wi-fi for basic web browsing and email; premium wi-fi for video chat, and probably other interactive apps as well. (Gaming, anyone?)

I’m sure United didn’t want to be last out of the gates with wi-fi, but turned off telephony while its revenue wizards figure out how to over-control it, meter it, and then charge exorbitantly for its use. That iChat & Macs weren’t blocked was probably just an unintended oversight during roll-out of the service.

Hey, we can’t have those pesky Mac users creating a perception that certain things will be free, can we?

Dave relates an almost unending stream of emails, phone calls, and contacts with United, including a later meeting with no less than three inept VPs of the company, who assured Dave that changes in customer service policy were coming, but then were either unable or unwilling to describe just what those changes were or are. (Typical United: They’ve laid off thousands of customer-facing employees and mechanics, but they’ve got a surplus of well-paid executives available to face off with a lone Canadian guitar player.)

For more entertaining and witty insights into Dave’s ill-fated journey with United, the making of UBG Song 3, and Dave’s humble rise to social media/social responsibility stardom, please take time to read his wonderfully-written blog post accompanying Song 3’s debut.

For now though, just enjoy the message-music, which takes the form of bluegrass this time around. For this final UBG song, Dave enlisted a couple of powerhouse “roots” music performers: Jerry Douglas of Nashville is probably the most accomplished player of the dobro guitar to be found anywhere; Ray Legere is one of Canada’s premier acoustic and bluegrass artists on fiddle, guitar, and mandolin.

(And don’t leave early: The music peaks at the end with a dance-off that includes the sublime Ms. Irlweg, tap-dancing as only a well-trained United customer service rep can!)

Enjoy!

While airlines like to promote free tickets with their mileage programs, the award that many even semi-regular clients want is an upgrade. These are the very awards that are getting harder to get.

At a time when flying has increasingly become an ordeal, an upgrade can often make the difference between a very pleasant and a miserable, cramped experience. Personally, give me a good book and an occasional glass of wine and I find flying in business class a mini-vacation.

Over the years, I’ve often had to waitlist upgrades for clients at the time of booking; generally, with enough advance notice, they clear. At least they used to.

These days, I have had clients waitlist 10 months in advance with no luck. Even elite fliers with 100,000 mile a year haven’t been upgraded on flights with over 40 business class seats left at the time of booking. Especially on transatlantic and transpacific flights.

Now this doesn’t mean upgrades never happen. But they’re a lot harder to count on getting. So what’s happened?
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