EX FOSTER KIDS UNITE

aged out?

2012-01-25T09:44:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

Hope you are all well! Beautiful day out again, go out and enjoy it - get your 45 minutes of exercise everyday!!
\
On a sad note I have been talking to kids who just aged out of foster care less than 6 months ago, already, they are heading in shady areas. Sometimes you graduate and get to college but you get there and realize - you are not motivated! Why? because you are normal! Don't get discouraged if you leave and get into college and it does NOT work out on easy street! It may take you a while to figure out what you are great at and what YOU can do, not what your parent, sibling, friend or agency wants you to do or what's the easiest!

Step back if this happens to you
Pull your resources togeather for a team meeting- yes, contact your former agency and ASK if they can do a team meeting to see how they can assist you!

Remember: YOU ARE not A FAILURE in any way!!!!! This is called.......LIFE!! It happens to us all!! question is what are you going to do next?

and if you are fortunate enough to go back home, DONOT allow your family stress to stress you out - you are not a babysitter, caregiver, your job is to be independent and IF you go back home your parent should not be relying on you to bring home the bacon. It is fair to give your parent some of your earnings but if its all, you need to find transitional housing or a room like the YMCA to rent - so you can save until you figure it out...

NEVER give in or give up - success is only a mile away!!
you are loved, needed and blessed to be alive!! smile, somenone may be watching you!!! xo
Tanya

2012-01-21T14:05:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

words for the day: Always move forward, rarely look back and don't ever stop achieving for greatness, love and to help others!

xo Tanya

where would we be without you?

2012-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

ask yourself:
Where would this world be without you? Someone would be less, could see less, could be gone, had you not come along.....the next time you think of hurting yourself or giving up, hold on, hold out, we need you!!
Smile, someone is watching you - you may save or change a life!! lol...

Tanya

To Be Heard | A Documentary

2012-01-12T18:15:00.000-08:00

this is a must see!

life is not always roses...but you can still grow to be a flower!!

To Be Heard | A Documentary

the message is delivered!

2012-01-12T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!
I spoke in Syracuse yesterday! They have an amazing team to work with foster kids and parents!! You are in good hands, always take the help being offered, you can always go back and help someone else!!
I am inspired by the foster youth I spoke to yesterday! They were smart, witty, loving, charming, funny and ready to face life head on with a smile! Thank you for letting me share my story, go out and help others just coming in!! Here is some word of advice.....

No matter what we go thru in life, it can make you stronger, if you stay focued, believe in God or higher power and know that we are all just energy and all things....all things are changing, good bad, etc... in form every second...hold out when hard time comes, pray hard but keep your head high, you are highly blessed and favored!!! We need you in this life to help others, without you someone may not have a great day!!!

Every day you wake - should be a good day, for many will not make it; suicide, depression, murder, death, all very real but YOU are still here! Be grateful for your life. YOur parents are only a vehicle to get you here sometimes- accept it and use it to your advantage!!
Who can you utilize today to help your life go foward after foster care?
1. yourself- trust your instincts
be true to you, love you!
2. friends, counselors: did u make a connection with someone in care, a neighbor, counselor, someone who always had your back - without expecting something other than you doing your best?
3. Faith: know that God and the universe has no "mistakes" he knows you are resilant and able to adjust to anything this life has to offer, so offer YOUR best, even in hard times, help others and love you!
Know that we are all here for Diving purpose, find yours, help others find theirs and live and honest life, stress free by planning your future now....
Remember when hard times hit: NOTHING LAST FOREVER!!! but tuff people, they last thru anything life throws them!!!
Lastly: "WE NEVER GIVE UP!!! failing is not an option you are the best creation in this life, go getem!!! xoxo Tanya
ps. smile, someone is watching you, you may change or save a life!! :)

speaking today!

2012-01-10T12:34:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!
Yes, my computer is down! but that will not stop me! I have a story to deliver to foster parents today and foster kids tommorrow - nothing will stop me from helping change or save a life!!

Have a blessed day, be kind to everyone you meet!!! xo
Tanya

kindness

2012-01-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!!
Being kind is what I would like for us to think about today! To everyone you meet! Yes, even the.... meany...lol...
Kindness is learned as a young child and if you did not have parents or someone to teach you, you could come off as selfish and it may be just BUT it is no excuse to treat another person bad! Always use good manners and kindness, it only brings positive to your life!

When someone is being mean or ill spirited, it is because they started off on a negative!! Perhaps they are just a negative force - that is not your problem- you want to have a good experience when you cross someone's path, you can't do that by being mean! You catch more fly's with honey" they say....lol..

You can help make it a great day: by remaining positive and loving, even when its hard due to life circumstances OR when the person you deal with is not positive! I tend to avoid negative people at all cost - its contagious!!! lol... Smile, the world is watching you, needs you and you are loved!!!

Have a GREAT day, by being kind and loving to all you meet, you may save or change a life!! xo
Tanya

Happy New Year!!

2012-01-01T14:45:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

Happy New Year to all my blog readers!!!! We did it! Another year! WOW!

So you made it into a new year!!
Congratulations for staying strong and NEVER giving up!!

Now is the time for you to reassess what YOU need to do NOW to make THIS year BETTER than last and more productive!!
Take that singing class, write your first poem or script, record that album, start your new business, find your new mate or friends,
find your talent and gifts - and let them guide you to your greatness!!!!

xo
Tanya

what if you were not born?

2011-12-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family! I OFTEN LIKE TO SIT BY THIS LAKE AND REFLECT ON ALL THE GOOD TIMES I HAD WITH MY BABY BROTHER ROB....ENJOY..

I have been VERY busy! I hope your holiday was wonderful, filled with love, helping others...and then presents!! lol..

I , like many of you, have been challenge this year on many issues:
fiance,
No love", "lack of" family,
challenged birth family, (lol)
the law,....got a ticket.....or
legal rulings that just are not fair
or my and the latest; being hit in my car as we sat at a red light, by a drunk driver who only got a ticket- even though her kid was in the car!! And she hit someone else less than 2 hours later in the back...at a red light.....
speaking of unfair!
BUT that is NOT why i write today, I write
to encourage you! We all have the same problems or issues!

When life seems unfair, silly, mean and you think you want to give up - DON"T!!!
WHY?
because you have divine purpose like anyone else: the judge who made a poor decision based on what you know is baloney, the cop who hit you,,..based on a receptionist screaming because you did something simple....like said a curse word in a joke to your friend online....
like the teacher who gave you a C...even though you knew it was an A paper,
like the person that said you would never be anything because you were a foster kid....and now you have a master's!! lol... Life is amazing and YOU belong here as much as anyone! Never give up fighting for your freedom of speech, (try to say something meaningful lol...), your integrity or your honor!!
Always picture the world without you: (if your "lacking money, relationships...that is not important)..
what would your little brother, sister or friend have done without YOU in there lives???
don't be selfish, SOMEONE in this world needs you,
it may be only for a moment or a life time
but YOU are needed! Never think of hurting yourself or anyone else -
you are needed without restrictions...lol...not in jail (where u are still needed but dang , you will have limitations) and besides, God and the universe did not make you to sit idle (do nothing/be nothing) You are here to save or change a life with your gift...find out what that is....WHAT IF YOU WERE NOT BORN? thank the universe/God that you were, now the world may be better because of you! how thoughtful that your parents may not have been able to care for you BUT they let you live!!!! AMAZING!! MY MOM WAS AN ADDICT, I COMMEND HER FOR KNOWING SHE COULD NOT RAISE ME!! MANY WOULD BE DEAD OR WORSE OFF WITHOUT MY BIRTH!! THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE TO VIEW IT, EVEN IN HARD TIME!!!

.for the new year, I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU!!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! THE THOUGHT FOR THE NEW YEAR....HOW TO BUILD A BIGGER, BETTER STRONGER ME!! XO TANYA

Holiday blues..how to not lose YOUR mind when life is crazy!

2011-12-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

R.I.P little brother!

Hi blog family! After two years I am still missing my brother! The pain gets less but I imagine it will never sink in that he is gone so young! Forgive me for not writing, as I am facing many challenges!
Yes,
it has been a while but life and all its curve balls has been calling me!

I am older and wiser but i still have my days when one error could effect me.
There are days when life can be challenging without family and I want you to know it is NOT your imagination - life is ruff - especially without a family!

Even at my age, I still long for a family. I still hope to be adopted one day-- yes, even over 40!!

It is a human factor to want to be loved and to be part of a family unit....this never goes "away"- you only learn to live with the feeling and talk yourself through it daily! lol....hey if you made it this far without family, you can learn to love you enough and surround yourself around people who love and honor you like family!

On another note
the holidays are hear.
This is the highest times for suicide and loneliness.
*Even people with family who may have had conflict, wish they could be home with love ones*

.... I want you to know that even when you feel lonely and the world is against you God will always be by your side, all you have to do is BELIEVE tomorrow will be better than today!
Faith of a muster seed!
I know some of you may have been in group homes all of your life, some may have been in dysfunctional homes but YOU are the master of your destiny by keeping faith and coming up with an alternative plan! Whatever the plan, failure is not an option, giving up is not on the list!!! God did not design you to "give up"!!!

Don't ever be so discouraged that you don't realize YOU ARE IT!
Don't ever hurt YOURSELF or ANYONE, life is too short and we ALL have divine purpose, so don't take away another's purpose, they may be the one who saved or changed a life!
Your the reason the stars shine at night
the reason your brother,
sister, lover,
friend, family,
stranger,
has a smile on their face.
You are the reason someone is alive today!
Don't ever forget your ancestors died to make sure you ENJOY this life NOW, today!!!!
I know the holidays are here and it can be sad if you have no one around, I am lucky to have my two kids. I decided to make the holidays a day to go feed the homeless and then enjoy a nice dinner. This year may be all you can do to get out of your funk--HELP OTHERS...help at a food bank for the day!! Trust me you will feel better and be inspired!

Bills may be piling up, your lover gone, the news may be violent, everyone wants to keep up with the Joneses and no one has faith anymore- but you- YOU are the ONE that will change or save a life!
Stay positive, focused and keep anger out of your life, ask God to give you peace, acceptance, and constant change and growth so that you may be of service to others. You are so wonderful have a blessed week and know God is with you at ALL times, even at your darkest hour - have faith and take action to create change! xo Tanya

save the date May 19th....Fosterkidsunite will be awarding The Robert Cooper Memorial scholarship to kids aging out of foster care! Location: Mt. Kisco/NY time:TBA all foster kids, former foster kids, community residents and any other who love to help others are invited to join in, more to come!!

Arsenic Found in Popular Juice Brands | Yahoo! Health

2011-12-01T04:10:00.000-08:00

what you eat today is important! try to eat organic fruits, veggies and meat, I know its costly but in the end we are trying to fight other pollutants in the world right now, the air is toxic. Japan's nuclear explosion HAS hit our air, California the first two weeks!! If you don't have health, you have nothing! Eat to LIve" - Tanya

Arsenic Found in Popular Juice Brands | Yahoo! Health

Oprah said...

2011-11-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

hi blog family!
I like to write my own blog but today i will share something from Oprah's life class! I am sure she does not mind as she is a "life learner" and those who are about life know that learning, support and love are key to life!

Photo: George Burns © Harpo Inc.

Many of us think that our power is a tool or a weapon, but, in fact, power is a state of being, the way you see, hold and handle yourself in the world that then determines your experiences. The external world can only respond to the way you hold and handle yourself internally. If you show up as weak, broken, confused and dazed, the world is going to respond to you that way. If you show up as confident, kind, compassionate and loving, then the world is going to respond to you that way.

This is why we have got to understand that you do not have to do anything to have power. That said, there are some surprises when it comes to your power, ones that, if understood, can improve your ability to tap into it:

1. Power is your birthright. Your power goes back to something very simple.

At the highest spiritual level, you are made in the image and the likeness of the creator—whatever you call that creator—the source of life, the source of all things. You are one with that source—the same source that makes trees, tornadoes, sunshine, the ocean, the mountains, people. You have the same capacity, the same inherent light and the ability to create. This is your birthright. You were born with power. No one can take it away.

2. The only thing that can diminish your power is your belief that you do not have it. Repeat this to yourself. Every day.

3. Gold stars do not affirm your power. The way life is designed, we are programmed, conditioned and educated out of our power because we have been programmed, conditioned and educated to please others, to do what others say and to do what others are doing. Here's my classic story: When I went to school, they used to have a board where, if you did your work well, you got a star. There were gold stars, silver stars, green stars, blue stars, red stars. Now, red stars were not good stars. But at least you got a star. Well, when it came to writing, I could never get that little hook on that a. I just couldn't do it. I don't know why. I always got green stars: great effort, just not perfect. It confirmed my belief that I wasn't good enough because I couldn't do what somebody else could. What I know now is that comparing ourselves to others is an act of self-violence, as is living up to the expectation of others or not listening to your gut. These acts are about other people. These acts are all about external validation. Power is you. Power is standing up as your true self.

4. Power is a habit. Everything we do as human beings is a habit. I've heard that it only takes 40 repetitions to install a habit. Most of us have created a habit of being disempowered: We don't ask for this, don't do that, don't say this, don't say that. Instead, we must create a habit that reinforces our personal power. Part of this requires a daily spiritual practice. We nourish our bodies. We nourish our minds. Do we nourish our spirits? The way to remain connected to, conscious of and in alignment with our power is to remain connected to, conscious of and aligned with our source. That can be through mediation, journaling or stillness. We want to empty the mind as often as possible. We want to listen to that still, small voice that's within.

5. Power is most accessible in your worst times, not your best. When your plane crashes and you wake up in the middle of the desert with no food and no water, it doesn't matter how much money you have, how much education you have or how many friends you have. The great philosopher Whitney Houston, whom I love, sings a song: I didn't know my own strength. I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble. I never knew my own strength. Very often, when the things that we lean on for strength—the marriage, the money, the image, the name—are gone, that's when we discover our power.

6. It's okay to forget your power. We're all going to have our moments when we get angry, upset, afraid—when we think we just can't do it. But how long do you stay there? How long do you allow the critical voice in your head to condemn you for your choices? How long will you stay in conflict and confusion, or are you able to focus your attention on something greater, grander, bigger, more loving, more powerful? It's about your recovery time. How long do you stay in your humanness before you slip back into your divinity? The ability to make that shift is the sign of being in touch with your power.

* you can read more from Oprah at the link below! thanks Oprah!!

Rangel Career Fair: Monday, November 14 at CCNY | Rep. Rangel

2011-11-10T03:32:00.000-08:00

if your looking for work in NYC area, please view this!

Have a great day and know that you are special and needed!

Rangel Career Fair: Monday, November 14 at CCNY | Rep. Rangel

17-year-old beats the odds and finds a home | year, amanda, last - Colorado Springs Gazette, CO

2011-11-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

It is never too late to be adopted! my friend was adopted at 21!!!

Have faith, work on being the best you and let the universe/God lead you to a new family IF that is in the cards, if not...you will be ok, I have lived this long without one. Having support and contacts is what matters, get to know people, let them know and trust you!!

17-year-old beats the odds and finds a home | year, amanda, last - Colorado Springs Gazette, CO

thinking out of the box

2011-11-09T07:25:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

hope you enjoy this beautiful day, made just for you! I found an old pic from Paris with my kids..that i have posted before..but today,

thought of the day:
I was thinking of the 1st time I went to Paris to model (years ago!), I had only been one other time before to visit..I did not know anyone. I knew my birth grandpa had ties but i did not know anyone, until I got off the plane!
I had just officially "aged out" of foster care, (i signed myself back into a place at 18 because i had no family and no where to go).....
I was at one of the best fashion school's in NYC and had no money to finish, so when someone from the model's club , (a designer) told me to go on faith, I packed my bags with $250 and a plane ticket and went!
I found an agent in less than a week, found friends that took care of me better than any family! And I found that life is a big "lottery" waiting for you to win IF you go out of your comfort zone!!

I realize sometimes you have to step out of "THE BOX" - the traditional way of doing things...to get what you were destined for! Once you step out and look across the room at the box, you will say.....that box is SO small!

Take good chances and try doing things a little different if your not getting results, life has great plans for you if you keep showing up everyday and keep trying....WE NEVER GIVE UP!! XO

TANYA

You are what you eat!

2011-11-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Hi blog family!

It is a gorgeous day outside - I hope you are going to enjoy it after school or your kids get home! Learning to take care of your body- crucial after foster care!
Why?
Well if you lived in a group home - you had lots of food, but i am almost sure it was not the top of the line, meaning, organic.... and if you lived in a foster home, I doubt your foster parents took the time to think about what was dangerous in the cereals you ate.
Not because they were mean, no one knew better!
I was blessed my foster mom was a diabetic and I ate like one, (thankfully) avoiding common problems associated with a southern (old school) diet...lard, butter, pork, fried foods, red meat, especially not organic....starches like white rice....(brown rice ok..)
(pasta and rice and other food items turns into sugar, if you eat mass amounts of it your body can be thrown off key and perhaps develop diabetes. There are many other factors but I just wanted you to be aware of what you eat!
When shopping I ask myself: "was this food in the garden of Eden or the bible? That usually cuts down my bill!! When my kids had to make a choice at home it was yam over potato chips, grapes (organic) over Hershey's... IF YOU ARE NOW A PARENT, DO BETTER THAN YOUR PARENTS COULD BY HAVING YOUR KIDS EAT HEALTHY!
I am sharing an article i got off of Dr. Mercols's site, (please check it out whenever you can, sign up for the emails, very informative on health news latest!). so these are NOT my words below but i thought if I had to borrow information, it was OK as long as one person walks away thinking healthier! Life is to be enjoyed and you cannot enjoy it if YOUR SICK!!! You cannot enjoy all of it...if you DIE EARLY because you chose to eat bad foods... think about your mind and your body - they go together... xo
____________________________________________________________________________

How to Avoid Heat-Induced Toxins in Your Diet

Ideally, you should consume foods that are raw or minimally processed to avoid these types of toxic byproducts—the more raw food, the better. My nutrition plan emphasizes the need for at least one-third of your foods to be consumed raw. Personally, I consume about 80 percent of my food raw, and I find it is one of the most important factors that help keep me healthy.

It may take you awhile to switch over to a less processed diet, but throwing out the most obvious culprits would be a great start.

These would include:

French fries and potato chips

All sodas (both regular and diet, as artificial sweeteners may be more problematic than fructose)

Doughnuts

Healthy Eating Made Easy

Aside from creating potentially toxic byproducts, cooking and processing also depletes the food of valuable micro nutrients, which is another reason for eating as much raw food as possible. This includes protein sources such as eggs. Raw whole eggs from organic, pastured chickens are an incredible source of high-quality nutrients that many are deficient in. Raw milk is another good example of a food that is beneficial in its raw state but becomes harmful after it is pasteurized.

By opting for foods that will benefit your health, such as raw, preferably organic and/or locally-grown vegetables, organic grass-fed meats, healthy oils, raw dairy, nuts and seeds, you can change your health for the better. These are the foods that are truly natural, and quite easy to prepare once you get the hang of it.

For a step-by-step guide to make the transition to a healthier diet as simple and smooth as possible, simply follow the advice in my optimized nutrition plan.

Remember, eating fresh whole foods is the "secret" to getting healthier, losing weight and really enjoying your food. It's unfortunate that so many are under the mistaken belief that it's "next to impossible" to create a meal without processed foods. Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough tackle this issue head-on in their book Real Food Has Curves, which is a great starting point to "relearn" the basics of how to enjoy and prepare real food.

Once you get used to it, you'll find you can whip up a healthful meal from scratch in the same amount of time it would have taken you to drive down the street to pick up fast food. The main difference will be greater satisfaction, both physically and mentally, and perhaps even financially, as processed foods typically end up being more expensive than cooking from scratch.

checking back in

2011-11-01T10:11:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

So glad to have our power back on in my town!! I know their are often times when we want to "black out" and forget about all the negative that has happenend as well as all the work we must continue daily JUST to survive!!!
I encourage you today to get your head back in the game! Life throws us ALL curves, its how u catch them that matter! Yes it would be nice to have the best mit for catching but sometimes you only have your bare hands, and while it will sting to catch a flying ball.....it can be done!

If you survived foster care half your battle is over, the other half is "plugging back in" to life...after being out of it so long!
How do you do this?
1. stay focused on YOUR goals and what it takes to achieve them; ie more schooling, contacts, $..
2. know YOUR moral code; what do YOU live by? does it include integrity and honor?
3. learn to enjoy silence! it will be your best friend AND help you follow your "instinct" in any situation! go to a quaker meeting house in your area at 11am...learn to sit in silence for 45 minutes, listening to what God or the Universe has to tell you...we are usually TOO busy talking and responding to hear anything!!
4. Love yourself enough to be proud you made it thru and while this won't be your last test...YOu know you are made to be a winner!!! don't let your experience in foster care harden you or make you angry, learn to help others in foster care. You have some gift waiting to be shared with others in care...start a journal, mentor to a foster kid, give them a job or internship, teach them how to make jewelry or write a book....SHARE what you know and how you make it thru!!!
Remember: we are all here to SAVE or CHANGE a life!!! smile, someone is watching you and you may help them have a great day just by smiling!!! xo Tanya

help when needed..

2011-10-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

its been a minute, life is happening as we speak! Happy holloween!
I have been without power for 3 days! Just got it back today! I often thought in the dark of people who live in 3rd world countries and often have no lights, no food and no water! I have a great respect for them when I experience these things and I realize, we have it good, even when we think we have it bad, in NY!

I want to encourage you today to keep thinking and moving forward for your children's sake and NEVER give up!! below is a pool of resources IF you are having a hard time right now. No one can ruin you but YOU! We make our own choices! Make a choice today to be drama free, love life, live life and share all you can to help make this world better! I have more things coming your way soon, know that i think of all foster and former foster kids daily. I have great ideas that i know could change the system, give me time and you will hear from me natinally! much love,

Tanya

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1- 800-273-TALK (1- 800-273-8255) (For the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889))
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) (For the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, TTY: Please use your local relay service number)
Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
(For the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, TTY: 1-800-787-SAFE) (1-800-787-7233))
National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-RUN-AWAY (1-800-726-2929)
(For the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, TTY: 1-800-621-0394)
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) (For the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, TTY: 1-800-826-7653 [message] or use your local relay service number)

i got this from oprahs site please share, you are safer knowing, than not knowing!

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahdotcom/In-Need-of-Assistance_1#ixzz1cOrvqhwE

enjoying the simple things

2011-10-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!
today is very easy.
How often do you get to enjoy the simple things in life after foster care?
Put down the worry and breath!
Nothing is worth stressing over,
example: even if i was going homeless, if i did not have the rent money or a job - stressing would NOT change the fact that i will lose my home....only ACTION will change the situation.

Perhaps you would have to go to a shelter or sleep on a friends couch BUT this is still not the worse! If you are breathing, have sound mind, sound judgement and use of your limbs (basic ones), I say you have endless possibilities!! Our ancestors went thru 50x worse than we are experiencing (slavery/Holocaust/potato famine etc..)...
Hold your head high and never be defeated!
As long as you have today.....smile, be happy and plan for a better future!!
If anyone just aged out of foster care please contact me or leave me your email -
thanks
xo Tanya

finding your gift to survive economic times

2011-10-19T03:56:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

I often say we ALL have a special gift we were born with! I believe that "gift" is a spare tool God gives us (or the universe if your not religious) to get ourselves or others thru something. Our "gift" (writing, singing, dancing, preaching, counseling, making art/inventions etc....serve as a great way to survive if you were laid off a job or having trouble because you did not receive the proper education or life experiences.. Example: What would Richard Prior, Steve Harvey, Mariah Carey, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Niki Minaj or Dr. Ben Carson be doing HAD THEY NOT found their gift?
There would be many lost, hopeless or dead souls/people! Why? Because I have heard people say that a "song, person or thought from that "inspired them" or made them want to go on in hard times!
You were born with divine purpose! What is that purpose! Chances are if you went thru foster care and no one ever discovered it....you still can. YOur gift is WHATEVER YOU DO 10x better than anyone else, with or without schooling!! Dr. Ben Carson as a kid probably had a love for healing, Lady Gaga expressed herself thru music, Mozart created genius music...Freud had theorys in his head for a reason!! Micheal Jackson danced and inspired others ...
I challenge you today to find out what your gift is....
sit down and write how many times someone in the group home or after said YOU were talented in something...organizing, making things, keeping peace, singing, dancing, whatever.... think how many complements you often recieve for doing this "gift" that always gets YOU noticed?
Go, sing your heart out, write a book, make selective jewelry, provide a service the world needs!
Times are hard for many who lost their jobs, and cannot find anything after a year of looking, actively... sometimes being unemployed, can lead you to your gift!

1. find your gift: singing, dancing, promoting, radio voice, organizing people, teaching, inventing, working with kids, disabled, mentally challenged, (perhaps you could start the 1st "special needs" babysitting service...
Example:you would start with trade school for child care (to get certified), perhaps you would save $50 go to local police station and get your fingerprints checked to show you are ok to work with kids (these are examples)... perhaps you could advertise in your local paper that you are available...
2. assess HOW it will make you money and help others...(singing...find out all the local spots that will let you sing for hat donations or pay....if your good, everyone will want to hear you sing, they will tell others...try to book weddings, barmitza's, talent contest etc...get a permit to sing in the subway..

GO FIND your own work!!!
Make a business plan (look up how to on google or youtube)
Go to sites like Vistaprint.com make your business cards for less $, get clients by doing research on WHO needs your services..phone book still works!! target your audience: social workers, residents, businesses etc....
Now life always throws a curvball, but what will YOU do with it and HOW will you use your talents to get you thru hard economic times? You can do it, You are NOT hear by accident! YOu have divine purpose, find out what IT is... It is never too late, start your new life...TODAY, right now, decide who YOU will be, what you stand for and how you will get paid, legally with your morals...in this society...you deserve ALL this world and life has to offer, don't settle don't lay down, stand up and fight for your god given right to be great!!
xo
Tanya

I think we can make it

2011-10-01T14:09:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

When times are ruff, and you will be challenged, hold your head high, breath and know that ...this to shall pass!
Whatever you are going thru is NEVER that bad, it aint over until the last breath, so live life with joy, even when times are ruff, smile at everyone, even when they don't deserve one, say something kind, you may save or change a life! xo

You are loved and needed!! xo
Tanya

FOR ALL MY RUSSIAN ORPHANS AND THOSE WHO WERE IN FOSTER CARE......

Я думаю, что мы можем сделать это Привет семья blog! Когда времена - ерш, и Вам будут бросать вызов, держать вашу голову высоко, дыхание и знать, что ... это к должно пройти! Независимо от того, что Вы идете через, НИКОГДА НЕ то, что плохо, это aint, законченный до последнего дыхания, так живут жизнью от радости, даже когда времена - ерш, улыбнитесь каждому, даже когда они не заслуживают один, говорят кое-что вид, Вы можете спасти или изменить жизнь! xo Вы любимы и нуждавшийся!! xo Танья

getting back to the basics in a chaotic world

2011-09-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!!
these cupcakes look good right, especially the one on the left with all the "stuff"...news flash, the one on the right is just as good, if not better because it is basic, one less thing to worry about being fattening...keep reading..

It has been a while, lost 6 friends under 47 years old the last two months!! R.I.P: Tommy, Ann, Rob Jr., Dr. Engle, D's little sis, and Danielle....

Made me remember what is really important in this life and ask myself a series of questions:
what am I really here for?
How can I grow after life in foster care?
How can I help others in care?
If I died tomorrow, what legacy have I imprint have I left?

In a world full of chaos it is easy to get lost and become a "yes" person--even to the wrong people, places and things in life. It is easy to become a "worry wart"-especially after foster care!

The economy is out of whack, people have LOST their minds, (killing babies, wives, husbands for insurance, drug use, tax frauds like Madoff), the PEOPLE in the WORLD have "lost their minds so to speak!! WHY?
The are trying to KEEP UP with the "Jones"...instead of working with what they have!!

What does this have to do with foster care, aging out?
When you left there were many issues you DID not have to face, many family topics, relationships, survival skills.
I started this blog so that you could face those issues on your own, on your terms. So that you know, you are NOT in the twilight-you are in this world to learn lessons and move on.
You don't have time to worry about what Good or bad happened to so and so....Deal with (not worry) YOU! What issues do I need to face that keep coming up in my life after foster care?
What can I do to get help with my income/budget: (therapy, talk with a social worker, attend support groups?)
What will make ME a BETTER person that enjoys THIS life!
Better to ALL mankind, better than my parents, what will lead me to the greatness I am?
These are the questions you should be asking yourself in this chaotic world.
NOT getting nervous or worried.
Whatever ground work you lay, it will be.
If you do not know how to save money....you may be broke!
If you do not know how to communicate with ALL people, you will have problems with your coworkers, boss and friends!
If you do not know what makes YOU happy and unhappy, you will stay miserable!
Learn what makes you tick, why you are unique, why you were put on this beautiful earth! There is divine purpose for EVERYONE...
Most important ...know the basics of life: survival of the fittest....
1. keep your mind strong and sharp by reading, writing, exercising and meditating/praying for guidance, strength to always DO the RIGHT thing, even when others love the wrong! Don't follow these celebrity's, they are out for a buck and WILL not care if you go wrong...
2. Love: find friends, a mate, someone to truly accept and love you for who you are. Love is amazing, it can be a great remedy for past pain! Learn to love you, if you don't know one else can!! You are the best invention since Swiss cheese!! lol...
Love can also soften you up after years of not letting anyone near your heart..
3. Learn to Lol...Laugh out loud...at yourself!!
who cares if you got it wrong..or didn't get it!.do it again tomorrow!!!
If you are not dead, you can start all over!!
This is the beauty of life, until its your time, you can do better the next day!!
Laughing cures the blues, I think it is the best medicine for depression or anger...throw on a Martin re-run CD and you will be laughing...
Nothing in life, is that serious and if it is, you can't change it so learn to breath and laugh!
4. Exercise, meditate (to keep your mind pure from all the garbage going in from fb, YouTube, friends, associates, negative people, TV...)..eat to live, not because there if food! When you shop ask yourself: was this in the garden of Eden?
You will save SO much on grocery bill AND be healthier eating more veggies and smaller portions of meat (if any)..
Your mind and your body have to be right if you want to keep away from the world chaos; pollution is there, bad people, situations WILL test you BUT if you keep your mind and body healthy....it will have less of an impact on YOU as a person.

Remember: When the building is built with a sound structure, nothing can tear it down!! Concentrate on the whole you and how to be better and more efficient! It should not matter what is going on in the next house, worry about how to sustain YOUR house!! Appreciage you and ALL you have (not what you don't have)..
Aging out of foster care is easy, just turn 18 or 21....like I said at my last speech, it is sustaining yourself IN the mist of a storm--- that will be your real test!! You were built for endurance, look at your ancestors!

You are a winner
You are kind
Gracious,
loving
and NEEDED by this universe, go save or change a life with your smile today!
xo Tanya

Forever Families Through Adoption, Inc. | Who We Are

2011-09-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

Forever Families Through Adoption, Inc. | Who We Are

looking for you after foster care!

2011-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

hope everyone is settled into school schedules! Stay focused on you and your kids, they are the future!

Topic for the day:
looking for you!!!

After leaving foster care do you feel you are always looking for help or someone to "change or save your day?
Don't sweat it, allot of people right now appear to be looking for a "savior or Hero" ....unfortunately.....only YOU can save YOURSELF!!
I had a friend that said she wants a boyfriend that can "help" her financially and mentally, she said she is tired of "being alone"...NOT me, I love MY time!! When the right mate comes along, I will know!! I am not sitting around waiting!
NEWS FLASH!!!
learn to love YOU, enjoy YOU, spend time with YOU and ENJOY IT!!!

If you just broke up with someone or have not had a date in a while....why can't you do something "proactive" when you feel this loneliness?

Go bowling,
walking,
take a trip,
go out with your girls or boys??
There is no reason you should be waiting for SOMEONE else to "save your day!! Prince charming is on vacation and Cinderella lost her shoe again!!!
When you grow up in foster care it is hard to learn to enjoy anything (because it may be taken away), must less you! I understand this BUT.....remember you are trying to live a quality life after foster care, this requires hard work, mentally and physically.
Mentally you will always have to challenge yourself NOT to think like a foster kid; anxious, Nervous or worried about what's next...those days of wondering what will happen next.... are over, (you can lol)...
your life is on YOU now and that is good when you know how to please YOU!!
Learn to take chances, get new friends that are DOER"S in life....not people who stand by and watch life pass them by!
Find a job that you can move up in....even if it means McDonald and working your way up to manager!!
Look for things new to do you were never able to do: take a vacation to Paris or California...whatever is thousands of miles away from the only place you know!
Get a book that tells you how to improve your life;; Anthony Robbins, The secret by Rhonda Byrne, Napoleon Hill...anything that helps improve you!!
I challenge you to start enjoying life NOW, don't wait till you get to "Heaven"...this is Heaven here on earth and YOU deserve ALL it has to offer but you must GO AFTER IT.
Look for yourself, get to know YOU;
what you like, what you CAN do NOW. Access what you need to change in YOUR life to be a better person...
Stop looking for others to "make your day", no man, woman or child will save you and make your life better, only YOU will!!
You are divine and should be doing the best, eating the best, living the best life and educating your mind enough to share what you do know with others in foster care!
Best thing I learned about myself after foster care:
You are your best and own Hero, go save your day!!
You are blessed and loved,
xo
Tanya

Summer End

2011-09-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family!

I am back! Power is restored and so am I!!!
I hope this has been a wonderful summer for all of you!
School is about to be back in session! This is good, keeps the kids busy with a goal...of finishing!! lol..
two thoughts today:

If you are home an unemployed, ask yourself, what am I doing today, to make for a better year?

If you have kids challenge them to always ask this question monthly, it is the only way to NOT become comfortable with where you are at as a person in life. You always want to do bettter, be stronger, live longer and wiser than yesterday and you DON"T want to make the mistakes our parents made! (for those who were placed in foster care due to parents neglect, abuse abandonment etc..) We are trying to build a stronger next generation!
The greatest minds are ALWAYS growing, learning, thinking and Listening to advice that can help them become better people inside and out!
See what you or your kids may need to have a better year: find new postive friends, learn to accept motherly/friendly hugs, learn to think positive, learn NOT to worry, eat to live, start working out by walking, read more books, practice learning a language on youtube, sign up for peace or job corp to get out and travel and meet new people?
There are many things we all can be doing daily to stay learning. Remember life is a lesson and learning helps you grow as a person.
If you grew up in a group home without family structure, retrain your brain to do things different - IF they did not work..
GETTING RID OF OLD DEFENSE MECHANISMS WE USED TO AVOID PAIN
for example moving around from place to place you may be GREAT at meeting people and adjusting to different homes, BUT you are able to drop people TOO easy...(an argument with a friend, instead of calling them you could wait forever and be fine with that--that was ok when you had to move around, I think its a defence mechanism we build up so that we wont be hurt someone is leaving again...
BUT in a good relationship (mate or friend) there will be awkward days and IF that friend or mate is worth it, you must take the step and repair it, or you will lose the friend or mate... We must re-learn how to get close to others, not be distant and trust that if they leave, life moves forward and its ok!!