Exams are coming

At last...

2008-07-27T19:27:00.003+04:00

... I became a student.
Yes, I know, you've been waiting for this post.
So, here it is.
I got 92/100 for my English exam in the linguistic university. And thus I am the third in the list. Yes, I passed, of course.
And I made it to the MSU, where I've been dreaming to study since childhood.
Yup, I will go to the MSU. Though, this was a tough decision.
But this is how it is. Now I will have to get necessary documents, and this will be really over.
And 25th of August I will officially be a student of the best University in the State X)
I am kind of... happy now.

Day 24

2008-07-24T15:03:00.003+04:00

Ok. This is the last day, actually.
Damn. I mean... damn. The previous exam for this university I wrote with one girl from courses. She sat just behind me. Today she told me she did not want to speak with me because I did not help her at the exam. She asked me about 30 times and I did not answer. Damn. I did not hear her. This is the person I would have helped if she asked me. Cause I like her. I mean, she's not my type, really, but she is not like "let's get drunk after exams!". And I've known her for 11 months now.
That hurts, but it hurts mentally. I know I would have helped her if only I heard she was asking for my help. But she does not. Damn. It is a misunderstanding, but what should I do?
When she told me about that I apologized. I said I did not hear, but she was like "Ah, yes, of course". Well, she did not want to speak with me, so I did not bother her. And eventually, our seats were on two different sides of the room. The exam was in sports gym so I'm not even sure if I can call it 'the room'. It is like she got about 70 points and I got 86,2.
Anyway, it is sad. Damn. I am growing up with tears in my eyes (Just kidding. Though, this is not a joke).
I am free now. Totally free. I'll rest for a while. And then, maybe tomorrow, I'll begin the Big Room Cleaning. Firstly, because I do it every year and, secondly, because I have not done it for quite a long time now. It's shameful. Hm, and thirdly, because I finished my school and I do not need all this stuff now.
So. This is the real end here.
I got the habit of writing in the blog every day =)

Day 23

2008-07-23T21:59:00.002+04:00

I did not go to the High School of Economics after all. I did some English tests and watched some nice episodes and ate fish under cheese with broccoli (yummy thing in spite of broccoli).
So that was a nice day. Tomorrow is my last exam, so this will be the end of logging, I suppose.
As soon as I know results, I'll write here. And then I think I will make a new blog, a student's blog. But I'll think about it later. Now - shower and sleep.
I hope I will be a student this year.
So, Good Luck everyone!
Hooray for the last exam!
Bye-nee~!

Day 22

2008-07-22T21:00:00.002+04:00

Well. What should I tell? I cried a lot today. So I slept (I always do that when I feel sad). But I slept quite a little. And my head does not hurt now. Though, my red eyes do.
Granny called twice. She asked me twice about the same things. Aha.
Well. I do not know. I won't go tomorrow to the High School of Economics. I'm not in right condition for the next exam now. But I'll prepare for English in MSLU.
Well. I tried a lot of things in my life. Looking back, I should say I did not manage to get what I really wanted. Why? Dunno. Because I did not try hard enough?
Well. Maybe I am just not worth it. Or maybe I am just offended.

...

2008-07-22T14:29:00.003+04:00

Tadaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I failed.
I mean, I got 50 points for history. Well, I really did not know what the Buligin's Parlament was.
My head hurts 'cause I cried for about an hour. More than an hour now.
Mom called. She stopped saying something like "as expected". She also said that she'll call again. Good. That's great, really. Now I can make a mistake. Hope, I won't.

Day 21

2008-07-21T20:02:00.002+04:00

I forget things. I do, really.
My English sucks. I got only 80 points for it. I appealed and there were mistakes. Damn it. So, it is not right when I say "At history" when I mean a lesson at school? And think requires "about" and not "of"...
Tomorrow exam will determine my life. And I only learned till 17th century and I know 20th century erm... not good.
Today I talked to a lot of people. I'm making some social progress. Ah, I got acquainted with a guy who sure is studious X) (I'm sorry if you ever will read this, but you are kinda like that). Though, he did not give me such an impression.
And I spent many hours (or so it seemed) with a guy I've known for a little less than a month. He paid for a part of my ice-cream. lol. When he was getting of the carriage in the underground I thought he would kiss me for a second. Haha, I know you read this X) That's ridiculous, right?
So, now it is 83+67+45+80 = 275 And it is an average. I mean I asked about 10 people today. They all have more or less but around 300.
Oh my, I want to be a student already. But I can't believe this will end tomorrow. And I always get a worse mark than I hope for. Ehems.
Damn.

Day 20

2008-07-20T21:09:00.003+04:00

The day is not over yet.
Today I watched two episodes of new series - Dennou Coil and it was amazing for its idea.
Well, I did not learn a lot today, but I'm not done yet.
Tomorrow I will go to the University and see what's my mark for the English exam. If it is less than 90/100 I will definitely be angry. I'm going to appeal anyway.
So, today was frustration and I wanted to sleep and I did almost nothing but I gained some confidence. And I read a few comments on MSLU which were all negative. And I got best score in tetris today. So, I'll go and learn some more history now. I guess tomorrow I will live on caffeine.

The Impossible

2008-07-20T18:08:00.004+04:00

What is "impossible"? It is a word. And nothing else. It can be impossible for you to walk if you do not have legs. It can be impossible for you to fly if you do not have wings.
But impossible is nothing when it comes for you, trying to pass exams. You do have a head and there is brain in it. So it is possible for you to learn the required information even if you have lots of material and little time.
It is possible. I have done it already. Many times before. I have learnt history in two days and got "good" at school a month ago. I just have to revise it and it will improve and I'll get "excellent" now. The day after tomorrow. I will get it. Because "impossible" is just a word.

Day 18&19

2008-07-19T20:55:00.003+04:00

And again I skipped one day in this blog. Well, that is because... I don't know why.
Yesterday I tried to prepare for today's exam - I read some topics and essays from school notebooks. Today was English exam in the University. I hope, really-really hope that I will get a lot of points for it. *prays for the Holy Brain* Oh, please!
Yesterday I watched about half series FMP TSR because I came across with some spoilers that Chidore died there. That was not true, though. I mean, Sagara was told so, but that was not true. But I had to watch the second part of this series to know that. Haha, I am an otaku.
I have some problems with articles as you could have noticed (I have lots of problems with English, but that is the main one, I suppose).
Today I did not make it to the Academy for my first exam there. Actually, I did not want to go there. I just considered the University being my priority. Huh. I hope I made the right decision. After I got home I played Age of Empires II till my neck hurt. And then I ate a nice dinner with parents.
I have a history exam in the University on 22, and I should know the subject so damn good to get the highest points. On 23 there is Social Sciences (I don't know whether I'll go - it is for the High School of Economics). And on 24 there is big English test in MSLU for which I have to prepare, too. And to prepare damn good as well.
Ah, I will tell you about some experience that I gained today. I have left my bag in my dad's car and so I had with me only documents, a chocolate bar, pens and a bottle of water. So, I had no mobile phone. I finished my exam earlier and had to wait for my papa at the bus stop watching all the cars passing by me. That was funny to watch how every bus stopped for me, waited for a while to realise I won't get on it and left. I had to wait about half an hour or maybe a little more than twenty minutes. Having nothing with me and with an exhausted brain filling my head I ate the whole bar of chocolate. It was quite rare type - black chocolate with almond, squared. I suppose, you now know what german firm manufactured this chocolate (I like to say chocolatle for some reason). That's it. Always take with you something to eat and something to call.
By the way, I noticed that with every next exam I sleep better than the exam before. Though, it is hot now at nights and I can't help waking up because of the heat. Maybe I should get another blanket, not so winter-thick. Hm. I'll think about it. Last night there was lightning and thunder hitting really hard over the sky. It rained, of course. And guess what? I woke up only once at night and then fell asleep again. I sleep better. Nerves become stronger, I guess. Before the first exam I could not sleep well. And now it is ok for me. But I still do not like waking up so early. Neither do I like to get up late.
Two days to re-learn history beginning from tomorrow. I am going to enter, really enter this old University with broken seats in auditoriums and professors who can't answer your questions without laughing at you. Or maybe I'll reconsider that and get somewhere else. I'll see later.

Day 17

2008-07-18T00:18:00.004+04:00

I took a Social Science exam in MSLU and it was ok. Test was quite easy for me as I have gone to the prep studies at this University. But we'll see what I get. It was funny, by the way. I met a lot of people whom I knew. And that was great. I did not worry much about the exam except when I wrote the answers in the list for answers. I thought I could make some mistakes like write 2 and not 3. But it all went ok. I felt dizzy at the exam because I tried to do the tests fast to manage it to the Academy.
I came to the Academy to find out that I'll have an exam at the same time on 19th with another exam to the University.
And now I know my result in the University for Social Sciences exam. It is 45. Quite low. But I'm through. I'll try to do my best at the next exam, which is English.
Well I'll count my results:
83 for Russian
67 for composition
45 for Social Science
83+67+45= 195. It is 195 of 300 possible. Damn. I feel kinda sad. Since yesterday, really.
And my result at High School of Economics is 5/10 for History. That was expected.
I just saw Hancock. Did not like it very much.
What do I do now?
I want to have a rest already. I am depressed and stressed out.

Day 16

2008-07-16T21:27:00.002+04:00

History exam today. It was difficult. Crazy questions. Mah.
Tomorrow I've got another exam - Social Science and I'll go to the consultation to Law Academy.
One episode today. And it was really hot in the street that I was all sweaty. I don't really like it because you feel awkward of all this "sweatiness".
I will get up tomorrow at 6-25 a.m. And my exam is at 9 a.m. on the other side of this big city.
Well, I will find out about the day after tomorrow - whether I have another history exam or not at this Academy. Damn, Academy X) It sounds so... dramatic.
It is raining now outside so I wonder if it will be hot tomorrow or it will be rainy and I will be soaked not with sweat but with clouds' water. Huh.
I'm going to bed now with my notebook and will revise notes that I made during this year (ok, during the last month when we made a whole bunch of tests).
And my friend left today. She'll come back at the end of August. I wanted to say that I envy her. But... I begin to like these exam-passing mode. Because you learn a lot of stuff that is only necessary because you take these exams. Hahaha!
Bye-nee!

Day 15

2008-07-15T22:58:00.004+04:00

This is getting serious. Exams are going in a row and only one ep today.
I'm not gonna make it to the School of Economics. Those tests are erm... 26/50 is my best result.
I have to succeed and enter at least one of these universities but... No "but"s here! I will be a student this year. I will be!
So, one pre-exam lecture (like consultation or something), two tests, one anime episode, strange food made by me, half a book on history and some good time on youtube. I found one awesome guy here.
So it will be history tomorrow. One hour for 50 questions. That is ok. It is not 250 that I will have the day after tomorrow. Oh, that's that late already! Gonna get some sleep now. Sleep is good. By the way, the exam will be on 11 a.m. So cool! It is not 9 a.m. the day after tomorrow. Yay for School of Economics and its late exams!

Day 14

2008-07-14T22:57:00.002+04:00

So, today was the day after exam. And I spent it like always - doing nothing. I have an exam after tomorrow and then another one. History and Social Science. Tests. I am again not ready for them. I guess this habit of resting is not good for me.
I watched 6 episodes today, read three pages of Lolita by Nabokov and looked at the history book. It has a greenish cover that I like. And it looks so used, some pages go out of their places. That was not my book or it would be in much better condition. Because I do not study.
Maybe this hating-for-not-studying is cool but it is not effective.
Tomorrow I have to get up early and go to the School of Economics to listen to some guy who'll tell me what will be at the exam. And I do not know how to get to that place. So wish me good luck.

Day 12&13

2008-07-14T12:06:00.002+04:00

Day 12 - Learning like hell. I took my computer monitor and put it on the floor. No computer for 1 day. I learned so much I felt I was gonna puke.
Day 13. Exam day. I decided to revise everything before it. NEVER do it. Never. Because your head becomes full of unnecessary information.
About exam. It was boring because all people with whom I got acquainted were sitting at other places in this big-big room. And I did not manage to go out to the toilet. They think that all the people can go out in one hour. Aha... And the test was difficult. Mah. I hope I'll get at least 30/100.
I got 67/100 for my composition. This is a good result for this University.
It is quite hot outside. Wanna go out.

Day 11

2008-07-11T22:18:00.002+04:00

Huh. I watched to 26th episode of Eureka. Yeah. I'm going out of Internet, I won't be online for a while. If I have guts, I will be ready for the f exam by the day after tomorrow's morning.
Bye-nee!

Day 10

2008-07-10T21:05:00.003+04:00

Hey there. I finished watching Lucky Star today and got no motivation from it, but lots of fun. I was smiling like an idiot the whole last episode. This blog is getting trashed with anime stuff.
I decided to watch Eureka 7 after exams. It will be more fun later.

Yeah, first pic in my blog.
I did 60 questions economics test today with 23 mistakes. That's great. I also found out that one of my books is useless. And that I know a lot of stuff in law. Like marriage, some rights of married people, labour law... And other stuff.
Well, I guess everything is for the "greater good".

Day 9

2008-07-09T21:33:00.003+04:00

This is not getting me anywhere. I am lazy.
They'll say that I passed the first exam so I can take the second only at 4 p.m. the day before next exam.
I like characters in Eureka and this anime is being downloaded quite fast.
What exactly am I doing with my life? What is it all for? Where my dreams have gone? What should I do with the time given? What is worth doing and what is not? I have 2,5 days till the next exam. I know I will learn something. But those days of idling and not knowing why I am doing all this suck. Really. And I can't even let myself fail to know the bitterness of loosing. Because if I fail I will not have another chance. Not good.

Day 8

2008-07-08T22:13:00.004+04:00

Nothing done. I really can't get down to work right after exam. So, today was my day-off with really lots of anime. I did my household chores, too.
My room is clean from literature books already and there are fewer Social science books.
I have got no one to go out with. But now I have a great anime-show to watch. I planned to watch it for some YEARS and here I go.
Overall, I found out that I am totally non-active, unsociable person. I lack willpower and self-appraise. I stopped talking to myself. I guess it was better when I did.
You know what is the difference between school and life? In real life you have no one to tell you where you made a mistake and no one to praise you for your results, no one to help you. Everything that I learned in school is fake. And it seems I have no reason to think about it and keep moving on. Except I'm not sure what to do.

Day 7

2008-07-08T00:30:00.002+04:00

My bad, it's too late now.
I've been watching Lucky Star and missed the time.
Exam today - composition. Well, you never know what will come in the work, so you have to learn everything, right? I did not re-read this novel x_x I suppose it was ok, though. I hope so.
So, I'm going to sleep now.
I wanna have fun X)

Day 6

2008-07-06T22:04:00.000+04:00

Tomorrow is my first exam.
I am going to hit the sack now.

Day 5

2008-07-05T21:29:00.004+04:00

Ah, it is raining and that's why I'm sleepy again.
Today I read a poem and some critical material about the second author. The main achievement is a finished anime series - I watched the last 7 episodes of Spice and Wolf. I was quite disappointed by its ending, though. Just a little bit. Yeah.
So, there is an exam the day after tomorrow. I have lots of work to do and my head is full of quotes for composition but I can't really remember where they are from now. Haha.
That's it. I did not work properly today.
Oh, yeah, I forgot...
I am lonely.

Day 4

2008-07-04T22:38:00.003+04:00

Got the paper from MSLU.
Read a play by the third writer (one novel and a story left).
Read about the second writer/poet's novel (one poem left).
+3 episodes of Wolf and Spice.
I tried to write quotes from the novel in OpenOffice, but could not concentrate.
1,5 day left.

Day 3

2008-07-03T22:57:00.004+04:00

Today I read poems by the second writer. One poem and novel by him left.
Then I went and re-applied to the Academy. But I forgot one paper for MSLU so I'll go there tomorrow. Again. I spend so much time on things because of my mistakes.
In the evening I listened to the lecture James D. Watson, the scientist who discovered DNA structure with F. Crick . Wow, I saw a person whom I knew from my biology student book. And he was ALIVE X) That is crazy. He is 80 this year.
Well. There are James Watson quotes (I can't ascertain you that they are exact and right, but I tried to write them down as soon as possible):

"We wanted to be first"
"Committees slow everything down" - about hiring people.
"We hired people before everybody knew they were good."
"As a boy I was told that mathematicians are strange."
"All the things I said might be wrong except... I don't think so."
"People who work on schizophrenia, they should be excited. That is a message of my lecture".

So, that's it. Prof. J. Watson said a lot more but I was so amazed at first that I didn't write it down. His words were motivational, he wanted to inspire scientists. That was great.
Ah, now I have only two exams on 23. And one will be on 18 (in Academy - History). And I must pass it with all my might.
Good luck everyone!

Day 2

2008-07-02T22:50:00.002+04:00

Here it is. I have 2,5 days to prepare for the exam. It will be on Monday, the 7th. Tomorrow I'll go and re-apply for MSLA (Academy ^__^), then take a paper in MSLU and tadaaan - I'll go to the lecture.
Today I did nothing except (in order):
1. went shopping;
2. posted in blogger about motivational stuff;
3. read my diary from a year-ago-time and realized that I wanted to enter the University for so long (that's why I better try hard or regret it forever);
4. ate cheese (I'm crazy about it);
5. installed new version of Licq, but it got the same error as the last version, so I tried to install pidgin, and it didn't work at all (Help me, oh please T0T);
6. saw 3 episodes from OHSHC;
7. read a novel by the first poet/writer (yup, I'm still on the first one).

I found out that it won't work for me what I tried to do till the present. I read compositions and critics and that made me sick. So now I read original works and analyze them myself. I just should know what themes and problems are in here and when I read the text I see them. I will try to do it myself.
Ha-ha...
Please, make a bet with me that I will succeed everywhere. Plea~se.

Maybe this way?

2008-07-02T15:36:00.002+04:00

Damn. I want some jerk to be with me. So that he could tell me: "Haha, MSU? Nooo, you are not gonna make it. You'll never succeed". Maybe then I'd have understood that it is worth it?
Well, thank you everybody who are encouraging me, I appreciate it very much.