Excellence 2.0 (www.excellence2.com)

States and Stages - Growing old vs. growing up

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:11:14 PST

Developmental psychologists and anthropologists often view life as a series of developmental stages. These stages can be characterized as turning points where opportunities or pivotal moments present themselves - opportunities for growth. The stages are chronological: 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. Generally, folks in their 20s may come to view life and answer life's questions from a different perspective from folks in their 30s; folks in their 60s may come to view life and answer life's questions from a perspective different from folks in their 40s etc. Much depends on the difference between "growing old" and "growing up." undefined undefined

Do you use protection?

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:48:37 PST

As adults, many of us view our world - at work, at home, at play and in relationship - from a defensive posture. Our defensiveness takes the form of seeing our world with a veil in front of it - a protection - that attempts to shield us from experiencing the wounding, hurt and pain of childhood. Protectors are the inner parts of us - voices, judges, critics, authority figures - whose role is to keep us in a comfort zone so we won't experience hurt, shame or fear. Protectors are those inner parts of us that initially arise when we look "inside" ourselves. Our protectors have no idea we're adults so they operate as though we are still children who need protection from continued hurt and pain.

Before you call me bad, wrong or stupid...

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:58:45 PST

One of the major causes of disconnects between and among people - at work, at home, at play and in relationship - is our tendency to not only make observations of their behavior, but to dive into immediate judgmental evaluations about their character. When we observe another and immediately affix a label to them, based on a behavior, we move away from seeing the wholeness and totality of that person.

Self-(non)Help

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:48:28 PST

Who among us has not been on some type of self-help journey or exploration at one point or another yet still bemoans the fact that we're honestly not experiencing true and real inner peace, balance or harmony in our lives, or the change and transformation we've been seeking? Is the opposite true? We seem to be experiencing a sort of internal agitation, or antagonism that says, "Heck, the more I read, attend lectures, seminars and workshops, meditate and chant, pray and say affirmations, the less I seem to be getting anywhere." What's really going on here?

Touching up your photo - and reality

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 14:58:12 PST

A news item this week points to the French government's campaign requiring all photos appearing in advertisements, on product labels and on campaign posters to show a warning if they feature a photograph that's been digitally enhanced. What abut my image? What image do I want folks to have of me and is that image my True, Real and Authentic Self? Or, am I altering and enhancing my own image to persuade the world that I am who I'm not?

It is the economy - and let's not be stupid!

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:31:45 PST

On a practical and spiritual plane, economics is about taking care of our communities - the "household" of the world. Unfortunately, in current times, economics has become more about fulfilling individual desires and wants to the detriment of, and at the expense of, the community - a purely selfish, ego-driven drive for personal greed and grandeur - a highly distorted and unhealthy view of economics - except for those, of course, who are reaping the benefits.

Authoring someone else's life

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:56:30 PST

Hardly a moment passes before the reputed behavior of a mainstream personality - actor/actress, politician, religious leader, sports figure, writer/artist/musician, corporate executive, etc. - or that of someone in our personal stream - spouse/partner, parent, child, in-law, relative, friend, neighbor, boss, co-worker, etc. - crosses our radar. And hardly a moment passes before many of us are quick to respond with a knee-jerk reaction � a judgment - that reflects our need to tell that person not only that he is bad or wrong, but how he should be (or should have been) behaving. We don our counseling or psychotherapist's hat and begin to "author" that person's life by critiquing their values, beliefs, premises, choices, and behaviors and then moving to create, for them, the type of life they should be leading, according to "me."

Are You Overusing Email?

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:17:16 PST

Many managers and team members find it incredibly easy to 'fire off' that email, and by doing so get that item off their to-do list and on to someone else's. Fine, but do you overuse email, especially in situations where email is not the ideal medium?

Behaving Badly - Would I do That?

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:19:16 PST

In the past ten days, we've experienced an athlete, an entertainer and a politician openly engage in angry or uncivil behavior. The one common denominator in these three events? A demonstrated lack of people skills and disrespect. These three episodes are indicative of this country's move towards an increasingly, deepening dark mood that results in overt anger, resentment, rage and verbal abuse.

Buying and Selling Friendship

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 05:43:37 PST

It's not enough that so many relationships at work, at home and at play are disintegrating, losing their connectivity, intimacy and depth of likability. Now folks have the opportunity to create new relationships, poof!, by buying and selling "friendship." uSocial, an Australian marketing company will save you the time and trouble of creating friendships by "buying" you a few thousand friends and buddies. So, need to feel like a somebody by being the friend of someone who's popular, or need to have someone like you, or have no friends, just ante up! Money talks and it says: "buy or sell your friendship!"

The Last Gasp of Summer.....and Stillness

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:57:10 PST

Summer is finally winding down, commonly accompanied by some degree of going, doing or partying. Labor Day might also serve as an introduction into the seasons of Fall and Winter, where Mother Nature takes a break for stillness and silence, a time to experience inner and outer peace. So, perhaps in the midst of all the activity that accompanies this holiday weekend, we might make an effort to find some time to "go inside" and just be with ourselves.

"Better a diamond with a flaw, than a pebble without" - Confucius

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 06:43:42 PST

The way to our truest, deepest and authentic self is via the road of darkness, the road that leads not to perfection, but to wholeness. In truth, there is no point at which we can say, "This is perfection." Perfection, being a "10," is an ego-driven, mental idea. We think that being a "10" means that I have no flaws, no imperfections. Perfection excludes negative realities - an impossibility (no matter how hard our mind wants to convince us otherwise). We strive for perfection hoping to remove or mask our defects, our flaws. In essence, perfection means denying our self.

Unhappy at work? Look Inside First

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:05:31 PST

Just about every month, there�s a new research report detailing the seemingly higher and higher degree of worker dissatisfaction. Whether it�s a Gallup poll or a Conference Board report, the results are strikingly similar � workers are becoming more and more dissatisfied with their work. While the majority of �reasons� for dissatisfaction usually point to elements of the workplace itself such as: management style, task design, work role, environmental conditions or opportunities for growth, few if any, of these reports ever point to the possibility that the employee himself or herself may be a major contributing factor to their own dissatisfaction.

What's new?

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:12:54 PST

In addition to Swine flu, the N1H1 virus and the other myriad illnesses and maladies folks suffer from these days is another � neophilia � defined by Merriam-Webster as "love of or enthusiasm for what is new or novel." Most folks have some element of neophilia in their personality and some degree of neophilia makes the economy run and spurs innovation, but it seems that more and more folks are suffering from an incurable and deadly strain of the "need for something new" disease.

Violence � when we lose touch with our soul

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 08:46:28 PST

All violence � overt, subtle, verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, etc. � is about one issue, and one issue only � power. Generally, violence manifests in three ways: our actions, our words and our thoughts. At work, at home, at play and in relationship, people tend towards violence when they feel threatened and powerless. A threat can be real or perceived. Folks resort to violence as an inappropriate way to re-establish their own sense of power over someone or something they perceive as a threat.

Living in the gutter - why change is so challenging

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 09:32:38 PST

Daily we're bombarded with new books, news, and research about why folks behave irrationally - even when they "know" their behavior is not rational, why affirmations don't lead to change, why change is so difficult when the brain is supposed to be so "plastic," etc. Why is true and lasting change and transformation so challenging? Here's one perspective. See how it works for you.

"Our workplace is like a family" - that's the problem

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 06:19:58 PST

What's the first organization you joined? Little League, a local children's group, a theatre troupe, childhood soccer or sports team, Boy/Girl Scouts, school, church...? Well, actually, the first organization we all joined is our family. And in this organizational setting, we learned how to "be" - how to act, react and interact with authority figures, peers, and outsiders and how to create roles for ourselves - knowledge and skills we would later bring to our world, and the world of work.

The Power of Negative Thinking

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:31:06 PST

Millions of folks have spent millions of hours and dollars (over and above the workshops, DVDs, and books) to have counselors, coaches, and therapists support them in their efforts to "think positive." Many of today's self-help proponents, spiritual gurus and cognitive therapists suggest that simply turning a negative thought into a positive one will result in a greater sense of happiness, satisfaction and well-be-ing. In fact, what I would like to offer is that "negative thinking" may be one of the most direct avenues to the experience of well being.

The face of reality

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:42:19 PST

If you put 200 people, diverse in as many ways as possible, in a theatre and then project the world going by in real time, no doubt these 200 folks will have 200 different opinions, reactions, observations, judgments, or takes on what they're viewing. Why?

So you think you can lead

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:43:43 PST

In today's face-paced, challenging, often-ambiguous and uncertain economic climate, where stress is rampant and anxiety and fear seem to be the emotions of choice driving many leaders' behaviors, more and more leaders seem to be losing touch with their employees, fostering a climate of poor morale, dis-engagement, stress, overt or silent anger and resentment.