Excentric World

Leash-free

David Fidelman — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:28 +0000

POOCH CORRECT NEWS: The town of Hillsboro, Oregon has built a leash-free dog park named for Hondo, a police dog killed ten years ago chasing a suspect. A fire hydrant was painted as an American flag, as a further tribute to him. The hydrant had to be removed after a number of people complained that dogs did not respect the flag, refusing to salute and by doing what they normally do on fire hydrants. HAUTE CUISINE NEWS: Tim Janus, of New York City, has won the world burrito-eating championship by eating 10-3/4 eighteen-ounce burritos in 12 minutes. Other competitors included...

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Horoscopes for November 30-December 6, 2014

Staff — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:27 +0000

ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Two new moons have been found around Pluto, the planet astrologers want demoted to a star. Pisces will support Pluto by mooning everyone Dec 23rd. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) You’ll learn of Festivus, dash out to find an undecorated aluminum pole and spaghetti, practice wrestling and airing your grievances. You’ve never been so happy. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) December is traditionally a month for celebrating friends and family members home. Your family, resembling the Grizwalds, will hit the casinos for days. CANCER (June 21 – July 22) You’ll start wearing a...

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The Politics of Drinking

Joel Mann — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:27 +0000

Bourbon is required to contain at least 50% corn and must be aged in a new, charred, American oak barrel. In 1516, Bavaria passed a law called the Reinheitsgebot allowing only 3 ingredients in the production of beer. One of my favorites: to this day, the Vatican has given its blessing to consume as much bock or doublebock beer as you wish. There are basically three major influences on the development of beverages in history: the local raw materials used in production; natural barriers between regions that isolate people and plant species; and the never ending influence of those in...

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Other Characteristics of a Counter

Brendon Marks — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:26 +0000

After reading my recent column about being a “counter,” many people have found it necessary to confess that they are also. I have not actually counted how many, but as I suspected, there are more out there than you would imagine. Some have disagreed with my opinion that it was genetic or hereditary, because other family members classify them as being weird. None reported their family has gone to the extreme of keeping them hidden away when company arrives, but introductions may be cut short if you start to say, “It’s nice to meet you. You know, you’re the seventh...

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Tennessee is Bigfoot Country

Lush Gumball — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:26 +0000

Q: Tennessee is known for many things, from Nashville’s Country Music and Tennessee Whiskey to the beautiful fall foliage of the Appalachian Mountains. But unknown to many is the fact Tennessee is Bigfoot Country. In the County of Monroe and the town of Madisonville, claims of Bigfoot exist. A book describes the Tennessee Bigfoot, their mating habits and rituals. Are there photos to back up these claims? A: None that we know of. It seems they have not socially evolved enough to sit for a family portrait. Q: According to some, we live on the earth’s crust, while there...

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Horoscopes for November 16-22, 2014

Staff — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:25 +0000

ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Once again, things will take a turn for the worse in November. And, once again, you will blame everything on a co-worker, a neighbor, a relative or a pet. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Your Halloween costume was such a big hit at the office party, you will think it fun to wear it once a month. Others will think cross-dressing is more disturbing. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You will find that the older you get, the more you want to take a nap in the late afternoon. For most government workers,...

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Ruined for Good

Doug Rabbit Sutherland — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:25 +0000

There’s something to be said, I think, For living in a place That’s been completely ruined by The lofty human race. Take trees. Yes, trees! Please take them all! Their worth is under par! Once gone there’d be no leaves to rake Or sap upon my car. And birds. Yes, birds! Just beaky nerds! They’re dirty, loud, and mean! I’d love to walk in silence on A sidewalk that stays clean. And, flowers! What a crock they are! Without their lurid blooms, No allergies, or killer bees, Or sweet and cloying fumes. I’ve had enough of all this stuff. And,...

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Government Solutions

Staff — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:24 +0000

cur-mudg-eon (cur-muj’un), n. [origin unknown] 1. archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered, churlish old man. 2. modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner. “Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.” — Otto von Bismark “When George Washington threw the dollar across the Rappahannock River, he didn’t realize he was establishing a precedent for government spending.” — Harold Coffin “The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.” — Milton Friedman “Now more...

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Wines for Thanksgiving

Joel Mann — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:24 +0000

I always enjoy the autumn season. The summer heat is finally gone. The harvest has come in, bringing with it all the abundance of nature. After a long summer season of light and simple flavors to avoid weighing one down, the hearty foods and robust spices come out to satisfy the palate as the days get shorter and colder. The quintessential expression of the season is my favorite holiday of the year, Thanksgiving. The traditional turkey dinner can be challenging to match wines with as the popular varieties Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Chardonnay are not typically the best fit. So,...

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Horoscopes for November 9-15, 2014

Staff — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:36:23 +0000

ARIES (March 21 – April 19) You’ll learn of Festivus, dash out to find an undecorated aluminum pole and spaghetti, practice wrestling and airing your grievances. You’ve never been so happy. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) December is traditionally a month for celebrating friends and family members home. Your family, resembling the Grizwalds, will hit the casinos for days. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) You’ll start wearing a large silver cross around your neck after Christmas. Everyone will think you found religion. Little will they know, you just found the cross. CANCER (June 21 – July 22) Chanukah, Christmas,...

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