This is a Polaroid that my sister took of my parents and I the day before I left.

Here I am dancing with a Garifun in Belize, about four months after leaving Canada. I went with my friend Julie to renew our visas and we ended up travelling for quite a while throughout Belize. It was great. The weird look on my face here is because I seriously don`t dance and this guy just WOULD NOT leave me alone and the girls I was with basically pushed me up and then took a photo of me.

I spent about a year volunteering in a local hospital, Hermano Pedro. This little girl was “my” kid, Marialos. She was abandoned at birth. Here she was four years old and blind, with cerebral palsy. A very sweet little thing. With so much time in the hospital, they would let me take her out and we would go listen to music (which she LOVED) and walk through the market. The wheelchair she usually used was just awkward on the cobbled streets, so I got a suti and carried her around in it. That same suti is actually used now with Dante!

I`ve worked in a lot of bars, but Reilly`s Irish Tavern was the best. I spent a total of two years though. Here`s a shot of me crocheting . . . I made bags to sell when the bar was empty.

Another shot of the bar.

Talk about feeling old, this little guy is now all grown up . . . well, he`s like six now and really tall. I met his mom through my friend Jung-Ha, they lived in the same house. We used to borrow Jarvis and take him around the town. He was the sweetest baby ever and I am still in contact with his mom via email and on Facebook.

For a while, I taught English in an English school and surprisingly, most of the students were Korean. For the most part, they were just my students, but Jung Ha and I ended up being absolute best friends. When I had no food, she fed me and we spent every day together . . . she is still a very good friend and we stay in touch through email.

So, that`s my life before kids . . . and even before Irving . . .which was really only about 6 months of living in Antigua.

After a delicious dinner of California burgers, we headed to the Parque Central where a band was playing rock classics in Spanish. You have no idea how unnerving it is to listen to Beatles hits in Spanish! The tune is the same, but the words are so not.

The park was FULL of tourists. All the Americans wanted to celebrate the Fourth of July and a group of them had gathered quite the arsenal of firecrackers and bombas. It was really noisy, but everyone was having a blast. Irving and I stood there and watched groups of young people laughing and talking about how cool Guatemala was, how neat the market was, etc. And I felt sad and old.

I love my family. I love my life. Living in Guatemala with my hubby and boys is great . . . most of the time. But when I see young people so carefree and having fun, not having to worry about getting back before the babysitter falls asleep and so wide-eyed and amazed at this new culture and people, it makes me feel old. I almost (ALMOST) wish I could go back to that life, travelling and enjoying just hanging out at night, doing whatever I want . . . but mostly I wish I`d just enjoyed that time a little more.

Because there was a time when I was new to Guatemala and everything, even riding a chicken bus was exciting. Learning a new language, staying out in the park all night for celebrations like last night, all that was fun and new, but I really don`t think I enjoyed it as much as I should have. I didn`t realize how much I`d miss it someday and I spent far too much time stressed out and unhappy!

If there is one thing I can pass on to my boys, I want them to know that they should enjoy life. Not just because it ends so soon, but because, before the end, you go through many stages and you don`t want to miss out on the best each one has to bring. So, now, I plan to fully enjoy this stage, with my babies still little and fascinated with the world and in love with their mama . . . because pretty soon, this part will be past too and I don`t want to look back and regret not living it to the fullest.

I never realized how attatched I´ve become to my blogs . . . it´s a little disturbing! I´m SO nervous about changing my blog, even though it is really for the better. The thought of having a different look scares me and I´m a little worried that my readers won´t like the new design . . .

Can you imagine, if I´m stressed out over a template change, how awful it must be to actually sell your blog? I think it´s safe to say I won´t be doing that anytime soon!

Any thoughts on what should be included in a new design? If you aren´t familiar with At Home Mom, you might want to take a look before the old design disappears into the annals of history!

“Feet don´t go in the popcorn.”
“Suffocating your brother is NOT ok!”
“Careful, don´t fall out the window.”
“Cornflakes don´t belong in your nose.”
“Cornflakes don´t belong in your ear.”
“They don´t belong in your brother´s nose or ear, EITHER!”
“What is Barney doing in the sink?”
“Don´t spit in your brother´s face, please.”
“YAY! You had a poo!”

Stuff no one tells you about becoming a mom. You WILL start to spout bizarre phrases.

That has changed.

He very recently discovered soccer and now spends about two or three hours per day (spread out, of course) kicking a ball around. If there isn´t a ball to be found, an empty water bottle works just fine! His main interest is managing the ball with his feet.

But when he´s tired out or sick, anything goes. . . .

I guess next year´s birthday cake will be a soccer ball. At 13 months, Dante already handles the ball as well as Dorian! Maybe we´ll have an athlete in the family after all.

After having eaten about five packets between them, the boys got bored of crackers. I´m pretty sure this is why we have mice . . . they must think they´ve reached the Promised Land!

And slept the whole night through.

Amazing! I think Dante did wake up once, because Irving came home around 4 am and I noticed that the water was moved, so I think he gave him more water. But I didn´t hear a darn thing and just slept like a log. I think it´s been about 3 years since I slept that long in a single night!

Strangely enough, I am still tired . . .

Just a quick disclaimer, that picture is from a month ago. He actually sleeps at the bottom of the playpen now because he´s figured out how to escape the bassinet part!

But we have a problem. He´s working for two weeks, gone every day. Which means it is up to yours truly to maintain the house in a livable state. Now, normally, I do try to clean once a day. I sweep, maybe even mop and wipe down the counters, wash dishes, etc. But my theory is that the place is going to be messed up again in five seconds, so why not wait until the evening and do it all at once? Pretty sound, right?

Not so much.

Because today my brother-in-law appeared in my doorway. He had something of Irving´s and wanted to return it and get a couple of movies from our collection. And of all Irving´s siblings, he´s the most judgmental. I could practically see him recoil as he surveyed the room and took in the spilled coffee and cornflakes on the floor, the cup of half-eaten yogurt perched on the arm of the couch, the pile of dishes in the sink (which actually looks worse than it is because one side is clean dishes just draining), the crumbs on the countertop, crumpled chocolate bar wrappers on my desk . . . and I started to imagine him going back to his house and telling them, “It´s no wonder the baby is sick . . . have you SEEN what those poor children live like?” :S

So, right after he left, I jumped up from my blogs and swept, put away the toys and half-eaten food that seems to multiply in my home, dumped more dishes in the sink (who knew there could be so many spoons and forks hidden in the couch cushions?) and then mopped the place. I haven´t yet tackled the counter or the dishes, but those are next on the list. And it really doesn´t matter, because I´m quite sure he won´t be popping back into this horribly contaminated house anytime soon.