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I got up on Tuesday after a long night of no sleep, feeling worn out and fuzzier than usual. I literally had problems reading recipes. Nonetheless, I made an orange cake and a banana cake and slapped them together with some chocolate orange frosting and since I had no time for a crumb layer, iced the whole thing in yellow and then stuck it in the fridge. While the kids played, I was busy sculpting zombies out of the leftover fondant packets that my sister left us. I only had green and orange, so I used food coloring to change things up a bit.

When the kids were in bed, I iced George. My icing bag lasted just long enough to get the outline done and then it burst. Yay. I used a sandwich bag with the corner cut out to fill in the remaining spaces and then smoothed them with a spoon. It didn’t turn out half bad!

To get George’s face right, I traced him onto a piece of paper, cut the main shape out and used a pin to draw it in the icing. Then I cut away each section and traced the remaining shapes onto the cake and then outlined them with black icing.

Finally, the zombies were placed. I used pins to hold them in place, but by morning, they had slid down the cake, leaving an interesting trail of black goo .. . er, I mean icing.

Needless to say, the birthday boy was thoroughly excited when he saw the cake he’d dreamed up in real life! While I think George turned out fine, I really am not that thrilled with the zombies, but the boys loved them, so it’s all good.

I think he looks just like Dominic. What do you think?

In the first few weeks after we came home, Dante was the one who brought me water so I didn’t have to get up and made sure I had blankets and everything I needed. He wouldn’t even ask, he would notice that my water bottle was near empty and he’d run off to fill it. Seriously, this kid is awesome! He knows how to take care of a woman. Someday, he’ll make someone a very good husband, I suspect.

The one thing that has definitely changed, however, is that he is acting out a bit more. He doesn’t listen quite as well these days. He wrecks more things, bringing back his old nickname of Dante the Destroyer, and his eating habits are even pickier than usual. I told my parents about my frustration and they suggested spending more time with him . . . maybe he needs more attention. In retrospect, it makes perfect sense! He just got bumped up to middle child and though he doesn’t take it out on the baby, he is taking it out a bit more on us. After all, I’m constantly with Dominic, since I babywear most of the time and breastfeed a lot, so even when I’m with Dante, it’s with the baby.

I’m going to start passing the little one to Irving for an hour or so a couple times a week so I can spend some one on one time with each of the older boys and we’ll see if that helps! Overall, though, I’m amazed at how well Dante has adjusted to his little brother and how great he is caring for him. If Dominic wakes up crying in his bouncy seat while I’m washing dishes or something, Dante will pick him up and take him over to the armchair where the boys play computer games and will sit him there in the corner and sit beside him so he won’t fall and show him Starfall or funny videos on YouTube.

Dante’s birthday is coming up on the 16th and he is very excited about the cake. Several months ago, he decided he wanted a Zombies vs. Plants cake. We looked at a few online and I figured I could do it. Sculpt the zombies and plants from fondant and my sister even brought down her fondant stuff when she came so we could make and freeze some zombies. We never did anything because A) the baby took up most of our time and B) I was not really up to doing a lot.

It’s just as well we didn’t do anything, though, because now Dante is seriously into Curious George. So when I asked him what cake he wanted to check again, he told me he wanted Curious George. That’s easy for me! Curious George is simple to draw, so I figure a round cake with a cute monkey . . . simple. And then he added another bit.

“Mama, on my cake, I want a BIG George and little bitty zombies. Because George had a bad dream about zombies, but he was so big, he just picked them up and squished them.”

Ok. Curious George nightmare cake with squished zombies, coming up!

Found on Facebook.

Ah, the joys of having big brothers who like to dress you up like a superhero!

A year or so ago, when my friends were doing the hcg diet, they asked me to join them. I was the fattest of them, after all, so why wouldn’t I join them on a diet? Well, as soon as I started thinking about dieting, the old feelings from when I was anorexic came rushing back and I knew that cutting back to 500 calories would NOT work for me mentally or emotionally. It would end up in a relapse, dropping to absolutely nothing again. So I didn’t diet. Then I had a good excuse because I found out I was pregnant with Dominic!

For me, exercise has to be the main focus of any weight loss program, but food is still a vital part of it. Instead of severely dieting, I find that I am better at changing my eating habits. Cutting out sugar is the biggest one. Avoiding white carbs is another. A commenter suggested I cut out wheat and while I don’t eat much of it, I don’t think I’m quite ready to take that step in a country where alternatives are scarce or very expensive. Since Irving is joining me in this journey, it’s far easier to plan family meals that are super healthy.

Our staple these days? A simple pasta salad with olive oil and lime juice and plenty of veggies that is just under 300 calories per serving. I dump it on top of lettuce, add ham or chicken or tuna and fresh veggies like tomatoes and cucumbers and it is a different meal each day. There is a big bowl of it in the fridge, so I don’t have to stress about preparing supper each evening. It’s very useful, filling and healthy.

Every morning, I make green smoothies with homemade yogurt and a little milk, spinach, bananas and strawberries. We usually have an egg or two if that doesn’t fill us up. Lunch or supper is the pasta salad with whatever protein we choose and the other meal is usually chicken with veggies or vegetable soup. Snacks are popcorn or fruit. It’s great to live in Guatemala because we have access to tons of fresh fruit and veggies and they are very affordable. My weekly trip to the market for produce usually runs us around $7-10.

I’ve also been scouring blogs and websites for meal ideas to help keep us on track. SparkPeople is the main site I use for tracking weight and food and exercise, but I love their recipe section. We made some black bean brownies today and they are DELICIOUS.

A blog that has been very inspiring is 100 Wartime Recipes. It’s the journey of one woman as she eats on wartime rations for a year to lose weight. She’s lost 55 lbs so far this time around, but what I love is that she has done this before, fell off the wagon and is now back and trying again. While it’s inspirational to see someone lose a ton of weight in one go, I know I have tried and failed before and it is MORE inspiring to see someone with the same issues I have make it to her goals. Plus, she has a gazillion (ok, 100) awesome recipes on her blog. I like her method, not necessarily counting every calorie, but focusing on healthy eating that tends to be low cal and low fat.

Other awesome sites for diet recipes and ideas include:

3 Fat Chicks on a Diet

Cooking Light

Eating Well

We recently discovered the program “I Used to be Fat” which follows teens who leave high school large and try to lose weight before heading to college in the fall. The program gives them a trainer and they have a meal plan and they work their BUTTS off . . .we’re talking 4-6 hours of working out every day. It’s very inspiring!

Obviously we can’t spend 4-6 hours a day working out when we have kids and all, but there was something interesting about this show. All of the trainers seem to focus on the emotional side of things and it’s something I never considered when trying to lose weight before. Everyone has a reason they are fat. It’s probably different for each person. After watching the show, Irving and I started talking about why we keep eating when we know it’s not good for us and eating the wrong food.

My reasons? I self-medicate with food. When I’m tired, I eat. When I’m down in the dumps or depressed, I eat. When I’m angry and feel like blowing up at my kids, I eat. BAD way to go. And yet, without fixing that, how am I ever going to get rid of the weight and keep it off? That’s the tough part.

When I was younger, I was far more creative. When I was depressed, instead of eating, I would draw or paint, or sculpt. I wrote. I did things that exercised my brain and those are things I don’t really do anymore. Of course, I write, but almost exclusively for other people or to earn money on Squidoo. It’s not the same as being truly creative. Drawing, while I love it and have a sketchpad and a book for drawing that my baby sister gave me when I left Canada, is something that no longer comes naturally to me. In order to eliminate the need to scarf down sweets when I’m angry or down, I think it’s important to begin drawing and creating again first. Then, instead of stewing and obsessing over food I can’t have, there will be a plan in place for coping. It’s an area that neither Irving nor I had considered before.

I’m determined not to lose the advantage this last pregnancy has given me. It’s far easier to start from this point than when I was 35+ lbs heavier! I’m setting smaller goals and looking for functional ways to lose the weight. Eating is a big issue, but if Irving and I are on the same page, we can do it. He wants to lose weight, too! We are even thinking of possibly hiring a friend of his who is a personal trainer to help us get going. Maybe. That’s still not set. First we’ll try motivating each other.

Why do I want to lose weight? The reasons get stronger every day. My number one reason is that I don’t want my kids to grow up and say, “Yeah, I lost my mom when she was 40 to diabetes/heart attack/insert-weight-related-death-here.” I hear that a lot and it hit me recently that it could be one of my kids saying that in a decade. How awful would that be? I want to be here to meet my grandkids and watch my children blossom and take on the world.

My second reason is that I want to do more. I want to travel with the boys and not be all, “Oh, let’s not hike that mountain in the Alps . . . I’m too out of shape.” Seriously? I don’t want to hold my kids back and I do want to experience all that life has to offer, which means I need to be fit again.

And of course, it would be nice to fit into cute clothes again. But that comes after the health reasons and the enjoyment of life. So, Irving and I are working together to start getting fit again. We’ll be eating healthier (no more sandwiches for every meal) and working out (the boys love Zumba and dance videos) and walking a lot more (another fun family activity). Since we can’t exactly leave the boys at home while we go off to do all this, we’ll be working out at home quite a bit and taking them for walks and hikes. This way the whole family benefits and hopefully they will be inspired to stay healthy as they grow up, too, and completely avoid the issues we are facing.