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<title>Explore What's Next</title>
<link>http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/</link>
<description>"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin</description>
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<title>Explore What's Next Has Moved!</title>
<link>http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/2011/02/explore-whats-next-has-moved.html</link>
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<description>The time has come to say goodbye to the old and bring in the new! All of Explore What's Next, including this blog, can now be found at one site: explorewhatsnext.com! Goodbye old blog, you have served us well! You will find our latest, most recent blog posts at the beautiful new Explore What's Next site. Subscribers to this blog: Please go to the new blog and re-subscribe! Visit us often and tell all your friends!</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://draletta.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83527e90e69e2014e5f7698fc970c-popup" onclick="window.open( this.href, &amp;#39;_blank&amp;#39;, &amp;#39;width=640,height=480,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,toolbar=no,directories=no,location=no,menubar=no,status=no,left=0,top=0&amp;#39; ); return false" style="float: left;"&gt;&lt;img alt="Ewn_logo" class="asset  asset-image at-xid-6a00d83527e90e69e2014e5f7698fc970c" src="http://draletta.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83527e90e69e2014e5f7698fc970c-320wi" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px;" title="Ewn_logo" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;The time has come to say goodbye to the old and bring in the new! &amp;#0160;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;All of Explore What&amp;#39;s Next, including this blog, can now be found at one site: &amp;#0160;&lt;a href="http://explorewhatsnext.com/" target="_blank"&gt;explorewhatsnext.com&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Goodbye old blog, you have served us well!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;You will find our latest, most recent blog posts at the beautiful new &lt;a href="http://explorewhatsnext.com/" target="_blank"&gt;Explore What&amp;#39;s Next&lt;/a&gt; site.&amp;#0160;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;Subscribers to this blog: Please go to &lt;a href="http://explorewhatsnext.com/" target="_blank"&gt;the new blog&lt;/a&gt; and re-subscribe!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size: 14pt;"&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Visit us often and tell all your friends!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>



<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:14:08 -0500</pubDate>

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<title>5 Steps to a New Web Site</title>
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<description>Now we get to the major point of this trip: a new web site for Explore What's Next! How did we get here and what's next? 1) Recognize the need for a new website. I love the design Steve originally came up with four years ago but it became obsolete when Dylan, our new therapist, joined EWN. With the expectation of further growth the need for a new design that would grow with us became acute. 2) Merge the blog with the website design. People compliment the EWN website all the time saying the information on it allowed them to...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;Now we get to the major point of this trip: a new web site for Explore What&amp;#39;s Next! How did we get here and what&amp;#39;s next?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1) Recognize the need for a new website&lt;/strong&gt;. I love the design Steve originally came up with four years ago but it became obsolete when Dylan, our new therapist, joined EWN. With the expectation of further growth the need for a new design that would grow with us became acute.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2) Merge the blog with the website design.&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;#0160;&amp;#0160;People compliment the EWN website all the time saying the information on it allowed them to get a good feel for what Explore What&amp;#39;s Next is and for who I am.&amp;#0160;These days, however, a one stop destination is an advantage for both the reader and the administrator of a business site. Besides, I like the feeling of continuity.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3) Find a good program that will give you maximum control over all aspects of the site.&lt;/strong&gt; Steve recommended Wordpress. I was skeptical for a long time because I used Wordpress before and basically hated it. The Wordpress people got wise and made some much needed changes, making it so much easier to use. The past few days have been spent learning the basics. I still couldn&amp;#39;t set it up without Steve, but I will be able to maintain it day to day.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4) Transfer all info from old sites to the new design. &lt;/strong&gt;This will be partly easy, partly labor intensive but not impossible. Steve and I will be doing the bulk of this work tomorrow. (I hope. Steve says, &amp;quot;Ye of little faith.&amp;quot;) We will have to break down the old site and replace it with the new one under the same &lt;strong&gt;explorewhatsnext.com&lt;/strong&gt; address. The transfer will take a little time. It&amp;#39;s not instant like I thought it would be. Steve and I will be building it over a several hours, page by page.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5) Launch new website &amp;amp; blog.&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;#0160;From the time of launch, this&amp;#0160;Typepad&amp;#0160;blog site, (www. draletta.typepad.com) will be put to bed. It will still be here but you won&amp;#39;t find anything new here. I will put one last post up with directions and a link to go to t&lt;strong&gt;he New Explore What&amp;#39;s Next website and blog at explorewhatsnext.com. T&lt;/strong&gt;he first page of the new website will be the blog so that all the new up-to-the-minute stuff will be right up front. You won&amp;#39;t miss anything.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;That will be an exciting day for me and an historic one for EWN. I can&amp;#39;t wait!&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>



<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 24 Feb 2011 19:25:40 -0500</pubDate>

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<title>The Anxiety of Growing a Successful Business</title>
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<description>Yesterday I met Steve, my business coach, for the first time. Even though we've been working together for almost four years now, we've never met. It took some getting used to actually being in the same room. He's over six feet, I'm... not. Looking at him look at me as we talk instead of yacking blindly on the phone was funny-weird and funny-haha. We kept cracking up the first twenty minutes. Thank God he is very relaxed with himself, casual, and laughs easily. Over the years as we have both grown our businesses, Steve has become a good friend, almost...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;Yesterday I met Steve, my business coach, for the first time. Even though we&amp;#39;ve been working together for almost four years now, we&amp;#39;ve never met. It took some getting used to actually being in the same room. He&amp;#39;s over six feet, I&amp;#39;m... not. Looking at him look at me as we talk instead of yacking blindly on the phone was funny-weird &lt;em&gt;and&lt;/em&gt; funny-haha. We kept cracking up the first twenty minutes.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Thank God he is very relaxed with himself, casual, and laughs easily. Over the years as we have both grown our businesses, Steve has become a good friend, almost a member of the family. In no time at all we had our heads to the grind stone plotting world domination.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Let me explain this business thing. &lt;strong&gt;A professional practice is a service business.&lt;/strong&gt; We are in the business of providing a service. To survive as a business to continue serving is part of our responsibility. It seems easier to see the business side to things when it comes to lawyers&amp;#39; firms or medical practices. Behavioral health practices are a bit different, partly because of the professionals involved and the kind of service we provide.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;People who choose psychology, social work and other behavioral health occupations tend to have warm hearts and thin skins. That&amp;#39;s what makes us good at being empathic therapists. As a species, though, it doesn&amp;#39;t make us terrific business people.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;There are exceptions. Fortunately for me I come from a long line of entrepreneurs (Arg! I can never spell that word without spellcheck correcting me!).&amp;#0160;Creating and growing a business is in my blood. My maternal grandfather had a very successful dental practice. My paternal grandfather was a gentleman farmer with holdings in beef cattle and coffee that he traded with Europe. My mother created a cottage industry with her hand-made crafts before &lt;a href="http://www.etsy.com/category/crochet?ref=fp_ln_crochet" target="_blank"&gt;Etsy&lt;/a&gt;, or the Internet for that matter, was a twinkle in anyone&amp;#39;s eye. Three out of the five kids in my family own businesses. My husband has a growing&amp;#0160;&lt;a href="http://www.ch3biosystems.com/" target="_blank"&gt;biotech &lt;/a&gt;company. My father was the sole proprietor of his psychotherapy practice.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;But I don&amp;#39;t want my Dad&amp;#39;s practice. I want something completely different.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;So here I am with a solid psychotherapy practice that I &lt;em&gt;love&lt;/em&gt; and I now want to grow to the next level.&lt;strong&gt; That&amp;#39;s when I get anxious.&lt;/strong&gt; Having Steve to bounce ideas off of and set me straight regarding my fears is priceless. He&amp;#0160;encourages me to &lt;strong&gt;be creative about growth.&lt;/strong&gt; Organic vs linear. Turtle slow and steady can still be compatible with strategic.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;But first I need to &lt;strong&gt;create a vision of what it is I want to achieve&lt;/strong&gt;, where am I going, what does the destination look like? Do I want to keep things small and contained or larger and spread out? Maintain control or hire people to delegate to? That kind of thing. There are no right or wrong answers. When anxiety creeps up, instead of letting it freeze me out, I ask myself, what is that about? &lt;strong&gt;What is the fear masking?&lt;/strong&gt; The answer rarely has to do with business.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The fear usually springs up when my ambition comes into conflict with that old &lt;a href="http://hubpages.com/hub/corebeliefsandemotions" target="_blank"&gt;core belief&lt;/a&gt;: &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;m not good enough.&amp;quot; &lt;/strong&gt;&amp;#0160;Am I too old? Am I smart enough? Will people still like me if my business grows?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I kinda doubt Donald Trump struggles with any of this.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>



<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 23 Feb 2011 09:42:45 -0500</pubDate>

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<title>What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?</title>
<link>http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/2011/02/what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up.html</link>
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<description>Once again I find myself in need of taking my own advice. When I'm coaching people who feel stuck in their careers I ask them to do a pretty classic exercise. Visualize what you are doing a year or two from now. Fill the vision with details. That's important. Some create a vision board with photos and words that describe their vision. What are you wearing? What does the work environment look like, feel like, smell like? Who else is there? What are they like? What are you doing? What tasks are the things you love and what are things...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;Once again I find myself in need of taking my own advice.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;When I&amp;#39;m coaching people who feel stuck in their careers I ask them to do a pretty classic exercise. Visualize what you are doing a year or two from now. Fill the vision with details. That&amp;#39;s important. Some create a vision board with photos and words that describe their vision. What are you wearing? What does the work environment look like, feel like, smell like? Who else is there? What are they like? What are you doing? What tasks are the things you love and what are things you don&amp;#39;t like so much? How does the rest of your life, family, need for base income to pay the bills, hobbies, fit in?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;We play around with this vision until it feels good. Then we deconstruct from there to create the path to success.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Somewhere along the achievement highway I passed my own vision. I didn&amp;#39;t even realize it until &lt;a href="http://www.smacksmog.com/" target="_blank"&gt;Steve&lt;/a&gt; pointed it out to me.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#39;s kind like those dumb commercials, &amp;quot;Now that you&amp;#39;ve won the Superbowl, what are you going to do now!?&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;It&amp;#39;s not enough to say &amp;#39;I want to write a book&amp;#39; or &amp;#39;I want EWN to continue to be successful.&amp;#39; I need to fill in the details. Decisions need to be made, priorities set. That&amp;#39;s a big part of why I&amp;#39;m here in California, going through my own personal business retreat: To figure out what I want to be when I grow up.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;What a great place to be six weeks away from my 57th birthday.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>



<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Tue, 22 Feb 2011 11:12:34 -0500</pubDate>

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<title>Mindfulness vs Technology</title>
<link>http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/2011/02/mindfulness-vs-technology.html</link>
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<description>On the long flight from New York to LA my plane was outfitted with individual monitors. With the swipe of a credit card you would have your choice of television programs, movies, games like poker, Bejeweled, solitaire, chess, maps to track the plane's progress, weather reports, music, talk radio programming... My first reaction to seeing the screens, which were not guaranteed when I made my reservation, was "Oh boy! This flight is going to be fun!" Once settled in my seat I looked up to a blank monitor. Mine was the only screen on the entire plane not working! Nooooo!...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;On the long flight from New York to LA my plane was outfitted with individual monitors. With the swipe of a credit card you would have your choice of television programs, movies, games like poker, Bejeweled, solitaire, chess, maps to track the plane&amp;#39;s progress, weather reports, music, talk radio programming...&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My first reaction to seeing the screens, which were not guaranteed when I made my reservation, was &amp;quot;Oh boy! This flight is going to be fun!&amp;quot; Once settled in my seat I looked up to a blank monitor. Mine was the only screen on the entire plane not working!&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Nooooo!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My reaction was a little intense for a minute. My body went into full fight mode. &lt;em&gt;Could I sue the airline? Demand an upgrade to first class?&lt;/em&gt; The degree of frustration was a wee bit alarming. Where was this coming from?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Our society is so conflicted, now more than ever, it seems. Mindfulness is preached as the soothing balm to the pressures of every day life. Yet we are made to feel we will miss something of life and death importance if we don&amp;#39;t have a mobile phone that can search for the latest restaurant while we simultaneously talk over dinner plans with our spouse.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Now I love my gadgets, I do. I love that I can listen to heart thumping music as I run, look up the exact location of &lt;a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?client=safari&amp;amp;rls=en&amp;amp;q=bahrain&amp;amp;oe=UTF-8&amp;amp;um=1&amp;amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;amp;hq=&amp;amp;hnear=Bahrain&amp;amp;gl=us&amp;amp;ei=so9iTY6HD5K6sQPIjtnCCA&amp;amp;sa=X&amp;amp;oi=geocode_result&amp;amp;ct=title&amp;amp;resnum=1&amp;amp;ved=0CCwQ8gEwAA" target="_blank"&gt;Bahrain&lt;/a&gt;, and check my calendar from one handy device. Do not even think that I am advocating going gadget-less.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I just think I am not alone in struggling with t&lt;strong&gt;he proper balance&lt;/strong&gt; between using these wonderful tools and giving in too much, allowing them to use me. When I lost the solitaire app on my iPod I resisted the urge to re-install it because I spent too much time on that thing. I&amp;#39;m still going through withdrawal. What is the anti-dote to too much technology?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/dp/0807012394/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&amp;amp;ie=UTF8&amp;amp;qid=1298306606&amp;amp;sr=1-4" target="_blank"&gt;Mindfulness&lt;/a&gt; is an ability. It is the ability to open the entire body, all the senses that are available to us, mind, body and spirit to the miracle of Being. Right now in this moment I am witnessing the sunrise over the San Gabriel mountains. The sunlight slants into the East facing window. Everyone in the house is asleep; it is quiet. Once in a while a birdie sings. I made coffee. The taste and smell of it lingers. The air is cool on my cheek. Restful, I am content.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;A voice in me says, &amp;quot;You should do this more.&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;The child in us loves the distractions, the toy-ness of our gadgets, the call to get gratification &lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;now!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;#0160;&amp;#0160;It takes a strong adult to remember to step away and focus on what our spirit longs for: Our full, un-distracted, attention.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>


<category>My Self-Esteem</category>

<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 21 Feb 2011 11:32:29 -0500</pubDate>

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<title>5 Tips to Deal with Pre-Trip Anxiety</title>
<link>http://draletta.typepad.com/explorewhatsnext/2011/02/5-tips-to-deal-with-pre-trip-anxiety.html</link>
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<description>People generally fall into one of two camps. There are those who begin packing a week before a trip, give at least two neighbors keys to the house, just in case, and leave for the airport six hours in advance. Then there's the rest of us. Because my husband, who is driving us to the airport, is of the former camp, we left the house two and a half hours before departure time. A judicious compromise since our airport is just fifteen minutes away. Because he will be staying behind, I do not have to worry about house plants or...</description>
<content:encoded>&lt;p&gt;People generally fall into one of two camps. There are those who begin packing a week before a trip, give at least two neighbors keys to the house, just in case, and leave for the airport six hours in advance.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Then there&amp;#39;s the rest of us.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Because my husband, who is driving us to the airport, is of the former camp, we left the house two and a half hours before departure time. A judicious compromise since our airport is just fifteen minutes away. Because he will be staying behind, I do not have to worry about house plants or dog sitters. Late last night, that left packing, loading my iPod and getting a good night&amp;#39;s sleep.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Did I leave too much for the last minute?&amp;#0160;I tried not to panic, remember to breathe and think it through. Instead of choking over what I haven&amp;#39;t done, what&lt;em&gt; have&lt;/em&gt; I done to lower my pre-trip jitters?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1) Planned an itinerary.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This is a special trip for me. It is a workman&amp;#39;s holiday since the big incentive for it is to meet and work with &lt;a href="http://www.smacksmog.com/" target="_blank"&gt;Stephen O&amp;#39;Bryan of Smack Smog&lt;/a&gt;. Steve is my marketing and business coach based in Southern California. Steve and I have worked together for three years and yet we have never met! Much of the success of Explore What&amp;#39;s Next is due to Steve. He is brilliant. Over the phone and through emails, we have become good friends as well as business collaborators.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;A few months ago we started to update and merge the EWN website with the blog. The upgrade was needed because EWN has grown. With the addition of Dylan Broggio, LCSW, and the intention of inviting more exceptional therapists to join the practice, the old design using only my name has become outdated.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Here was an opportunity to get together for a week to hammer out the new design, discuss every aspect of the business and update the business plan. The decision to make the trip to L.A. was made easier since my sister and her family lives close by.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Steve and I had many pre-trip discussions of what our meeting schedule would look like and what our objectives were for the trip. I did the same with my sister. That way I have a good sense of what to expect without feeling over-scheduled or rigid about it.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2) Have a packing list. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Having a list that I keep in my computer files has really helped me keep calm. Some things change from trip to trip but there is always a core of stuff that is always needed no matter where I go. Toothbrush, chargers for iPod and phone, pajamas and a fun, distracting book (a good romance or mystery will do) are among some of the things that are always on the list.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3) Bring the comfort of home on the plane. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My carry-on has food (a peanut butter sandwich, an apple, orange, carrots and chocolate), my iPod is loaded with music, podcasts and games. There are a few DVDs to play my laptop (Despicable Me and Glee).&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I plan way ahead of time what I will wear on the plane to maximize comfort but not look like I just rolled out of bed. &amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4) Review fear of flying techniques. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I love the articles provided by &lt;a href="http://www.fearofflying.com/" target="_blank"&gt;Captain Bunn on the SOAR website&lt;/a&gt;. Remembering the science of flying and reviewing self-soothing techniques helps me keep the old fear of flying I used to have from creeping back up too badly.&amp;#0160;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5) Let it go. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Now that I am at the airport, sitting at the gate typing this post, I am content. The worst is over. There is no use worrying about what I didn’t pack, or what didn’t get done before I left home. It&amp;#39;s not like I&amp;#39;m going to the Moon.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;I’m pretty sure they have shampoo in California.&lt;/p&gt;</content:encoded>



<dc:creator>Dr. Aletta</dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 20 Feb 2011 16:00:01 -0500</pubDate>

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