Exploring Self

Creating the Mess

2020-05-10T07:36:00.005+05:00

We all create many complications around us, some of them make their way through it, but most of them make themselves entangled in it, these complications are like swamps under our feet, the more we wrestle it more we are trapped in it, Those who remained calm and hold Savior's hand, make their way through it, and those who show their keenness and jerk the only way for their survivor will make their life hell......!

My life was running smoothly like a laminar flow of water, that creates satisfaction in my mind and subconscious, but its the rule of life that everything never happens the same, many ups and downs come in one life,

Sometimes you have to let life upside down...

So you can learn, how to live right side up...

My life was going at its maximum speed, I was enjoying every moment of my life, and every dawn brought a new surprise and thrill for me, you can say that I was a new girl every day,

I had many friends most of them were belong to the middle class, and I belonged to the same class, as we know, every society is a mixture of elites and mediocrity, so some of the elites were also there. Her name was .....hmmm... we didn't know ...first...!because she never told us her full name, she used to call herself "AR cat ", we all were so curious to explore the secret behind her name, but we couldn't find that first... She belonged to an elite-class family, her Father was a businessman and they had many cotton factories, so in short, she had a good family background, we never saw her using the local language in front of us, It wasn't like she use any foreign language like English or something else, she used to speak a very unique language, a mixture of English+Urdu+Punjabi = colorful Pinglish .......hehe!

As she belonged to a superior class family, so she got some extra protocols from teachers and class fellows, every new day she used to create a new word in her Pinglish dictionary, she was a very unique item of our class,

In the month of Ramzan, she used to absent from class, the very first time when she was absent for the first time, she wrote an application to the class teacher her application was:

Respected Mam,

I beg to say that I am at Sparrow fast, this is my very first time in such a crucial Sparrow fast, its 7'o clock and I am suffering from dehydration and thirst and my body is also heating up, so, please. grant me a leave for one week so I can recover my health soon,

I shall be very grateful to you for this act of favor.

Yours obediently,

AR cat,

It took three days to understand what did the word sparrow fast actually mean, we all were guessing it might be some sort of new place where she has gone for a picnic or some refreshment and unfortunately, there she was struck by dehydration and fever, we all were praying for her health, after three days AR came back to school we all were so happy that our prayers brought fruit and she has recovered her health so fast, Now this was the time..that for which we all were curious about, what did this place look like, her answer put me in a great shock and then I couldn't control my laugh .......it was not a place .... she was fasting .....the damn "Chiri Roza" ..........hehe.....!

Introducing AR here is not because she had her unique Pinglish but, she had a great role in bringing me out of the hell that I created stupidly, this was the point where a sharp turn came in right front of me while I was my max. speed, couldn't control myself and got injured....

To be continued...

Punishment OR Trail.....?

2020-05-07T07:25:00.004+05:00

It took too long for me to understand the difference between "punishment" and "To have Experimented", literally saying it took really long, about...... 5 years of the harsh journey. Still, it didn't go in vain I got a precious thing out of it. I understood the true meaning of "Trail".

"Punishment and Trail are the two ropes hanging in the air..... while you're falling to your death......
If the fear of death caught you, then nobody can save you from death because you have chosen the rope of punishment which is dilapidated. Still, if you believe in the Entity close enough to your Aorta, then the string of trail will instinctively come into your fist that'll swing you to your Fate."

Then suddenly, all of my troubles turned into a delicious pancake which I ate with a great desire...hmmm!
I can't forget that taste.......!!!!
Please give me a sec... Let me enjoy that taste again, which promptly came into my subconscious mind.......yummy...!

Excuse me! I can't control myself when I imagine that feeling, that was amazing...... anyway let's come back to work...

It was the time when I entered a new world with mystic powers. I was discovering a new secret with every passing moment. Everything was just like a dreamland where I could fulfil my every desire. I was feeling new mystic power in me. My senses were at their peak level, I fell into love with many things around me, the smell of soil in the rain and of flour while kneading the dough, and most of them, I liked the noise of the silence ........... All was going quite well, but then I made a horrible mistake .......

One day, while coming home, I saw a boy almost my age. At first look I was literally shocked, he was just like Prince Charles whom girls of that age often make a part of their conversations, he had a good height, sweet dressing, killing smile with bright eyes.. his nose was sharp and beautiful, thin lips with the newly grown beard and moustaches fine hair cut with the black stone ring in his finger, black watch, blue jeans, black leather jacket, light brown leather shoes and was riding on a Motorbike, I noticed all this in just 2 to 3 seconds,,,,,, seems crazy....ha??......well...! It was just fiction to make you believe that I had mystic senses....! hehehe....!

My life was going at its max. Speed, but suddenly a sharp turn came............at that point, I was so rapid that I couldn't control myself and got injured.........!!!!

To be continued.......

Note: Interlinked with previous posts, so stay tuned.......

Starting the Journey

2020-05-04T04:00:00.007+05:00

I always used to think that,

" what if I die now? then what would be the purpose of my life remained? Nothing!".

Most of the time I was suffering from the most threatening disease I think "Self Pity", I used to think "I am alone, no one can understand me, I am the only one whom everyone is abominating", literally saying this was the most crucial time of my life "Fighting Myself".

My name is YOU and I'm the strong girl in my circle. Why I'm saying the strong? well, there is a reason behind it, there was a time when I was caught with the curse of Self Pity, this was that time when I entered the most beautiful part of life "The Teenage", I was 15 and was entering a new world, a new angle of the world, I was growing, My body was upgrading itself, It was an amazing feeling, people say a human can have up to six senses but at that, I could feel unlimited senses I was feeling everything, everything means everything, I could feel the Rhythm of my long hair swinging in the cool whiff of the morning, that cool breeze rose my feelings,

" The Cool whiff kisses My Face

The cool sensation raises the Goosebumps.

The sweet taste of the Sun rising fills my breath"

At that time I felt like, I am a pelican that can dive into the deep sea at any time to fill up my hunger because I could see the goldfish swimming around, I was unaware of the incoming threat, which changed my whole life from heaven to hell,

To be continued...

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