Pathfinder's Quest: Unleashing the Potential Within

Through the Lens of Determination: A Journey of Sacrifice, Struggle, and Divine Providence

2023-06-25T06:41:00.000-04:00

In the tapestry of life, some moments are captured through the lens of a camera, freezing them in time as a testament to our resilience and unwavering pursuit of our dreams. In this extraordinary tale, I invite you to step into the frame and witness a story that embodies sacrifice, struggle, and the unwavering faith that fuels our aspirations. Join me as I recount a deeply personal journey, immortalized by a photograph that symbolizes the pivotal moment when I embraced the path less traveled, slashing through the grass to gather the funds needed for my educational journey. Through determination, the loving support of my parents, and the guiding hand of divine providence, this is a tale that transcends the ordinary and inspires the extraordinary.

The Photograph that Changed Everything

Within the folds of time, a decade ago as at the time of putting this together, the photograph to the left above encapsulates the turning point in my life. It depicts a young individual, armed with resilience and unwavering determination, accompanying elderly individuals to the fields, slashing grass under the scorching sun. This image symbolizes the depths of my commitment to gathering the funds necessary to write qualifying examinations and secure admission into the university. It is a powerful reminder of the sacrifices I made and the indomitable spirit that propelled me forward.

Carving a Path of Determination

With the photograph etched in my mind, I embarked on a path of determination and unwavering resolve. Each swing of the grass-slashing tool was a declaration that I refused to be limited by financial constraints. Through sweat and perseverance, I gathered the resources needed to write the qualifying examinations, knowing that success would open the doors to the university and a future filled with infinite possibilities.

A Parent's Unconditional Support

Behind every determined individual stands the unwavering support of loved ones. In this chapter, I unveil the pivotal role played by my parents in my educational journey. Witness their selfless sacrifice as they stood by my side, providing both emotional and financial support. Together, we weathered the storms of uncertainty, knowing that their love and belief in my potential would propel me toward success.

Divine Providence Unveiled

As I ventured into the realm of higher education, I discovered that the path I had chosen was not one walked alone. The tapestry of divine providence unfolded before me, weaving a remarkable story of unexpected blessings and opportunities. Scholarships, grants, and mentors appeared at precisely the right moment, assuring me that I was on the path destined for greatness. It was as if a higher power was orchestrating my journey, guiding me toward a future brimming with promise.

Gratitude and Beyond

Today, I stand at the precipice of achievement, gratitude overflowing in my heart. I reflect upon the photograph that captured the essence of my unwavering determination and the sacrifices made along the way. It serves as a constant reminder of the extraordinary heights we can reach when armed with determination, supported by loved ones, and guided by divine providence. As I look toward the future, I am filled with a sense of purpose and a deep desire to pay forward the love and support that propelled me to where I stand today.

Writing Our Own Narrative

This captivating journey immortalized through the lens of a photograph, serves as an inspiration for all those who face seemingly insurmountable obstacles on their own paths. It is a testament to the power of determination, sacrifice, and divine intervention in shaping our destinies. Let this story embolden young individuals to embrace their own unique journeys, knowing that within each frame lies the potential for greatness. As we navigate life's challenges, may we continue to write our own narratives, carving paths of determination and resilience, guided by the unwavering faith that propels us toward our dreams.

We value your thoughts and insights. Please share your comments and contribute to today's topic by leaving a comment below. You can also send your contributions or questions to micheal.eygp@gmail.com. Please, share to encourage someone today! Thank you.

2023-06-25T04:32:00.001-04:00

YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER EVERY DAY, SO DON'T GIVE UP TODAY

Unlocking the Power of Consistency: The Pathway to Achieving Success

2023-06-25T01:34:00.004-04:00

In today's fast-paced world, we often find ourselves seeking instant gratification and quick results. However, the true essence of success lies in a quality that is often overlooked: consistency. Consistency is the secret ingredient that can transform your dreams into reality, bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be. In this article, we will explore the profound impact of consistency on your journey to success and discover practical strategies to cultivate this powerful habit.

The Power of Consistency:

As Irving Berlin once said, "The toughest thing about success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success." Consistency plays a pivotal role in sustaining success and propelling you toward new heights. It is the unwavering commitment to your goals and the persistent effort you put in, day in and day out. Just as a slow and steady pace wins the race, being fast and consistent can yield even greater results.

Overcoming Challenges:

Consistency is not always easy. It requires discipline, perseverance, and the ability to push through obstacles. Successful individuals, like James Clear, understand that emotions and motivation can fluctuate, but true achievers don't let these fluctuations determine their actions. They find a way to show up consistently, embracing the daily practice necessary to achieve their goals. By developing resilience and staying focused, you can overcome challenges and maintain momentum.

Building Trust and Confidence:

Consistency is not just about achieving external success; it also influences your internal growth. When you consistently follow through on your commitments, it builds trust and confidence within yourself and others. As Anthony Robbins suggests, practicing confidence consistently, just like tying your shoelaces, strengthens your belief in your abilities. By being reliable and dependable, you become someone who can be trusted and respected.

Creating Lasting Habits:

Consistency is not a one-time effort but a habit that needs to be cultivated. It involves developing routines, setting priorities, and managing your time effectively. By making consistency a part of your daily life, you establish a solid foundation for long-term success. Whether it's committing to regular exercise, consistent learning, or dedicated work habits, small actions performed consistently can yield remarkable results over time.

Harnessing the Power of Consistency:

To harness the power of consistency, start by setting clear goals and defining your vision. Break down your goals into actionable steps and create a plan to follow consistently. Track your progress, celebrate milestones, and make adjustments along the way. Surround yourself with a supportive network of like-minded individuals who share your commitment to consistency. Remember, success is not an overnight phenomenon, but a culmination of daily efforts and incremental improvements.

Conclusion:

Consistency is the jewel worth wearing on your journey to success. It serves as the bridge that connects your aspirations to their realization. By embracing consistency, you unlock the potential within you and create a path toward extraordinary achievements. Stay focused, persevere through challenges, and keep pushing forward. Success is your birthright, and consistency is the key to claiming it.

So, make consistency your ally, and let it guide you toward the life you envision. Stay committed, stay consistent, and watch as your dreams transform into a remarkable reality.

Beyond Small Talk: Courtship Conversations That Lay the Path to a Happy Marriage

2023-06-25T01:24:00.004-04:00

Courtship is a crucial period in a relationship that sets the foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. It is during this time that couples have the opportunity to engage in effective communication and establish a strong connection. In today's society, where the divorce rate is high, investing time and effort into open and honest communication during courtship is essential. This article aims to provide a comprehensive list of topics to discuss during courtship, promoting transparency, understanding, and preparation for a harmonious future home.

Past, Present, and Future:

Openly sharing your past experiences, both positive and negative, allows your partner to understand and empathize with your journey. Discuss childhood memories, places you've been, and life-changing experiences. Additionally, explore each other's dreams, goals, and aspirations for the future, ensuring alignment and a shared vision.

Finances:

Financial compatibility is crucial for a stable and secure home. Discuss budgeting, bookkeeping, and how to handle household finances. Decide together whether to maintain separate or joint accounts, and explore various approaches such as pooling incomes, dividing responsibilities, or maintaining a percentage-based contribution. Address categories of spending, debt management, credit card usage, savings goals, and potential investments.

Relational Dynamics:

Explore the balance between work and family life, including discussions on overtime work, part-time jobs, and the importance of quality time together. Understand how to handle disagreements, decision-making processes, and the roles of fathers, mothers, and in-laws in the relationship. Discuss boundaries, seeking counsel, resolving conflicts, and the importance of mutual support and service to each other.

Children:

Discuss your desires and plans regarding the number of children, their names, and whether to use birth control or let God determine the timing of conception. Explore parenting styles, discipline methods, and how to handle situations where one spouse disagrees with the other's decision. Consider the involvement of grandparents, sports activities, education options, and the role of Scripture in their upbringing.

Church and Faith:

Align your beliefs and practices regarding church attendance, time commitments, and involvement in church activities. Discuss doctrinal beliefs, including important biblical teachings such as salvation, baptism, and spiritual gifts. Address the role of prayer, Scripture memorization, and family worship in your spiritual journey.

Time Management and Leisure:

Understand each other's preferences regarding morning or night routines, punctuality, and allocation of time for work and leisure activities. Discuss reading habits, movie choices, television viewing, and the use of leisure time. Consider how to strike a balance between personal interests and quality time as a couple and family.

Medical and Health:

Share your perspectives on medical practices, including traditional and alternative approaches. Discuss prenatal care, birth options, and preferences for holistic or conventional healthcare. Explore diet preferences, exercise routines, and how to prioritize health and well-being within your family.

Political and Cultural Views:

Address political alignment and decision-making within the context of marriage. Explore cultural values, ethics, and beliefs that may impact your relationship and future family life. Foster an environment of respect and understanding for each other's backgrounds and perspectives.

Dreams and Goals:

Discuss your individual and shared dreams and aspirations beyond marriage. Explore desired accomplishments, career goals, travel plans, and the vision you have for your family, home, and lifestyle. Encourage and support each other's ambitions while ensuring alignment and mutual support.

Conclusion:

Engaging in effective communication during courtship is essential for building a solid foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. By openly discussing various topics such as finances, relationships, children, faith, and personal values, couples can establish a deep understanding and ensure compatibility in key areas of life. Remember, open and honest communication, coupled with prayer and a shared commitment to growth, will strengthen your relationship and pave the way for a harmonious and thriving future home. May your courtship be a time of growth, understanding, and preparation for the beautiful journey of marriage that lies ahead.

Remember, "A family that prays together stays together." So, make prayer a daily habit and allow it to guide and strengthen your relationship as you navigate the joys and challenges of courtship.

Wishing you all the best in your journey toward a blessed and fulfilling marriage!

Behind the Iron Gates: Cracking the Code of a Guarded Heart

2023-06-25T01:14:00.001-04:00

In the realm of human emotions, there exists a phenomenon known as a "guarded heart." It is a condition where an individual shields themselves from emotional vulnerability, constructing formidable walls to protect their fragile core. The reasons behind a guarded heart are varied and deeply personal, often stemming from past hurts, betrayals, or traumatic experiences. Join us as we embark on a captivating journey that unravels the enigma of a guarded heart, delving into the depths of one person's story.

A Guarded Heart

A guarded heart is a fortress of emotional defense, built over time to shield oneself from potential pain and disappointment. It manifests as an emotional detachment, a fear of vulnerability, and a reluctance to open up to others. The walls that encase a guarded heart are constructed meticulously, brick by brick, layer by layer, crafted from past wounds and self-preservation. These walls serve as a defense mechanism, ensuring that no one can penetrate the depths of their emotions without earning their trust.

In the mystical town of Veridora, nestled deep within a lush forest, resided a woman named Aurora. Enchanting and enigmatic, she possessed a guarded heart that puzzled those who sought to unravel its secrets. Her heart had become an impenetrable fortress, fortified by past betrayals and shattered dreams. But one man, the daring adventurer named Gabriel, was determined to unravel the enigma and capture Aurora's heart.

The Enigmatic Encounter

On a moonlit evening, Gabriel stumbled upon an ancient manuscript that spoke of a hidden treasure, guarded by a heart that had known both love and pain. Driven by curiosity and an insatiable thirst for adventure, he set out on a quest to discover the truth behind the legend. Guided by the whispers of the forest, Gabriel found himself standing before Aurora's formidable gates.

Gabriel approached Aurora with intrigue and respect, recognizing the intricate patterns etched upon her heart. He understood that her guarded nature was a testament to her strength and resilience. With each encounter, he carefully chipped away at the walls she had meticulously built, unraveling the layers of her story.

Through shared experiences and profound conversations, Gabriel discovered the fragments of Aurora's past that had shaped her guarded heart. He listened intently to her tales of love lost and promises are broken, offering a safe space for her to reveal the scars she carried. Gabriel's ability to empathize and understand created a bridge of trust between them. As Gabriel's genuine affection and unwavering presence seeped into Aurora's soul, the iron gates of her heart trembled. She realized that vulnerability was not a weakness but a source of profound connection. Gabriel, too, bared his own vulnerabilities, forging a bond based on trust and mutual understanding.

With each shared adventure, Gabriel showed Aurora the beauty that lay beyond her guarded heart. He gently urged her to embrace the risks that love entailed, assuring her that he would stand by her side through every storm. Their connection blossomed as they learned to navigate the complexities of their intertwined hearts.

One fateful day, as the sun painted the sky with hues of gold, Aurora's heart finally surrendered its secrets. The iron gates that once stood as barriers crumbled, revealing the treasure within—a heart brimming with love, tenderness, and the capacity to trust once again. Gabriel, the courageous seeker, had unlocked the depths of Aurora's soul.

Together, Gabriel and Aurora embarked on a journey unlike any other. Their love, forged through trials and vulnerabilities, shone brightly as a testament to the power of perseverance and understanding. Aurora's guarded heart had been liberated, allowing her to experience a love that transcended the realms of imagination.

Their story, whispered among the trees and passed down through generations, serves as a reminder that within the most guarded of hearts lies a treasure worth pursuing. It teaches us to approach such hearts with patience, compassion, and an unwavering belief in the transformative power of love. And in the end, it is through vulnerability and understanding that the true essence of a person can be unveiled, igniting a love story that captures the imagination and stirs the soul.

Conclusion:

The journey of a guarded heart is a profound one, filled with complexities and depths yet to be discovered. Through the tale of Aurora and Gabriel, we have witnessed the transformative power of vulnerability and understanding in breaking down the walls that shield our hearts. Their story serves as a timeless reminder to approach guarded hearts with patience, compassion, and an unwavering belief in love's ability to heal and transcend. May we be inspired to embark on our own journeys of unlocking the enigmas that lie within, embracing vulnerability, and paving the way for profound connections and lasting love.

We value your thoughts and insights. Please share your comments and contribute to today's topic by leaving a comment below. You can also send your contributions or questions to micheal.eygp@gmail.com. Your input is greatly appreciated. Thank you

5 Steps to Seriously Improve Your Networking Skills

2018-02-26T03:22:00.000-05:00

No matter what profession you’re in, networking is the fuel that accelerates success. Not only is it useful for learning directly from individuals you meet, but the benefits of association and growing your own authority are just as powerful.

For some of us, the word networking can leave a bad taste in our mouths. Many of us aren’t sure where to start, what to say when we connect with someone or how to maintain that relationship. Although I truly believe there’s an art and science to networking and building authentic relationships, I’m going to distill what I’ve learned over the past few years. So, here is my no-BS guide to networking.

Stage 1: Mindset

Before you think about networking, remove the word "working" from your system. We hear people talking about putting on their "networking game," and I can't help but wonder how many showers they'll need to take afterward to rid themselves of the inauthenticity. It's likely that the people you're trying to reach get approached by dozens, if not hundreds, of people just like you; and it's not difficult for them to weed out the people who are "putting on a face."

The best networking comes from genuine relationships, not a business card exchange. No matter whom you’re trying to build a relationship with, treating that person as a friend rather than a business contact will take you much further with the relationship. So, think about how you would approach a potential friend. Find something you have in common with, keep it light, make jokes, and above all, show that you care.

Stage 2: The destination

Doing something for the sake of doing it is rarely a good idea, nor is it a good use of your time. It’s the old analogy of having a fully gassed car without a final destination to head toward.

As many of you may already know, I’m a big believer in goal setting and focusing on pouring energy into accomplishing the stated goal. What is your dream job? How do you envision your future? What do you need to be doing to be the most fulfilled, happy and driven version of you? Write down what your goal is for five years from now. Then write down what goal you need to hit one year from now in order to get you closer to your five-year goal. Finally, write down what goal you need to hit 90 days from now in order to get you closer to your one-year goal.

For example: Let’s say your goal is to make $1 million in five years. You would need a vehicle, whether that is your own business, investments or something financially viable to get you to your destination. In this case, your goal one year from now might be to have your business launched and to hit $5,000 per month in sales.

So, what would you need to do in the next 90 days in order to hit $5,000 per month in your new business, one year from now? It might be finding the right partner with a complementary skill sets, or acquiring your first paying customer in the next 90 days.

5-year goal: Make $1 million
1-year goal: Hit $5,000/month ($60,000 per year) in sales with new business
90-day goal: Get your first paying customer

Now, it’s time to write down your goals. Yes, physically write them!

Stage 3: The map

Now that you have your final destination for five years from now, including focused, short-term goals to get you there, design your map. Keith Ferrazzi has a powerful strategy called the Networking Action Plan (NAP), which he explains in Never Eat Alone, to connect your networking strategy with your goals.

Step 1 is to write down your goals and final destination (which you completed in Stage 2). Step 2 is to look at the three goals you have written down. Then, next to each of your goals, write down three people who will either kickstart or accelerate your goal. These could be people you are already connected with, who are second-degree connections from you, or people you have no connections to.

Examples of who your top 3 could be include mentors or advisors, clients who will advocate for you, investors who believe in your vision, team members who may be co-founders or key hires, a boss or manager who could propel you to a raise or strategic position within your organization or superconnectors that will connect you with any of the above, to build your network.

If you’re looking to start a company, the three people could be a potential partner, an investor and a potential client. For a best-selling book, the three could be your agent, promotional partners or editor.

It’s important to invest some time doing thorough research to be confident that the three people are essential in helping you accomplish your goals faster.

Stage 4: Building a human connection

Hw do you foster a real connection when you speak with someone -- whether it’s on Skype or on the phone or in-person? Personally, I think it boils down to these factors:

Ask insightful questions (to get the other person thinking). You can know a lot about a person by the quality of the questions he or she asks. Tony Robbins often shares that the quality of your questions correlates to the quality of your life.
Ask better questions, receive better answers. Peter Thiel challenges us to ask ourselves: “How do we accomplish our 10-year goals in six months?” By asking better questions when you’re speaking with someone, you not only put yourself in a category of someone that thinks differently, but you force the other person to think in a new way that helps him or her grow.
Pay attention (as if your life depended on it). This may come naturally for some people, or be extremely difficult for others. In our smartphone era, paying attention is a demanded “skill” many of us lack. How many times have you spoken with someone who is constantly fidgeting, looking around or interrupting your every sentence? By simplying maintaining eye contact, listening attentively and responding with relevant questions, you’re separating yourself from the rest of the pack and are well on your way to fostering a genuine relationship.

Listen. Ask good questions. Repeat.

Stage 5: Superconnecting

The fastest way to grow your own network is to introduce two people who can benefit from each another. As simple as this strategy sounds, it's one you hardly see most people do. When’s the last time someone deliberately went out of his or her way to introduce you to someone after listening to your struggles? If you’re the rare breed that has experienced this, you’ve met a superconnector.

With over three billion people online today, it’s increasingly difficult to separate the fog from the light, and the role of superconnectors will become increasingly important to make that distinction. Here are few of the most powerful ways to become a superconnector yourself.

Don’t keep score. This is by far the key difference between superconnectors and everyone else. Superconnectors have an abundance mentality, and they’re always willing to give, connect and share.
Make friends, not “contacts.” In other words, value quality over quantity. Put away your business cards, and form genuine friendships with people you meet. I force myself to never talk about business in the first encounter with someone, unless I have to. It’s 10 times more valuable to develop connections with five quality people at an event than 50 “contacts” whose names you won't remember.
Connect other superconnectors. Do you know two connectors who could benefit from meeting? Have they already met? Introducing two superconnectors will be the easiest connection you make because: They are naturally friendly and most likely will have friends in common. And you'll not only help others further their goals, but will come to mind for them, for future potential connections that will benefit you.
Interview people. This may be one of the fastest ways to grow your network, if done strategically. You could do this in the context of a research paper, book or, my personal favorite, a podcast. I’ve been fortunate enough to connect with the likes of Eric Ries, Adam Braun, Jason Fried, Gary Vaynerchuk and others who would have been difficult to connect with had I not started #SKIM Live.
Follow-up. This is the missing step we all forget to do. But following up to see how the introduction went, or randomly following up a few months later with no agenda will not only help you maintain your connections, but foster the relationship to a different level. In a world of take take take, being able to show that you care about someone as a friend will put you in a whole different category with any of your connections.

Can you think of someone you need to follow up with right now?

2017-09-13T14:05:00.000-04:00

The hardest prison to escape from is your mind

TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

2017-09-12T16:32:00.001-04:00

Courtship can actually be very challenging, a lot of singles started with the hope of getting married but ended with both parties going their separate ways for one reason or the other. The following tips will help you to have a successful courtship in addition to the dos and don’ts of Christian courtship.

LOVE:

Even though it takes more than love to sustain a relationship, Love is still very key in sustaining a relationship, true love stands the test of time, any relationship built on material things without true love will surely collapse. If a guy truly loves you as a lady, He will not want to defile you before your wedding night. Don’t marry someone you don’t love, no matter the persuasion, Love transcends beauty or any other facial qualities. Let love be the bedrock of your relationship.

FORGIVENESS:

No matter how much you both love each other, times will come when you will offend each other or have some forms of disagreement over issues that may lead to one party feeling offended, you must learn to forgive each other. Don’t hold grudges against your partner, be open to discuss and settle your differences. Don’t hold on to past mistakes and errors. Always forgive each other. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness, hatred, suspicion and lack of trust which are all killers of relationship.

TRUST:

Trust is very vital in sustaining a courtship, if you can’t trust each other there is no point moving along. Without trust there will be gross suspicion capable of destroying the relationship. Some ladies have made up their mind never to trust any guy again in their life due to past disappointments; if you carry that notion into your new relationship then you can be sure of getting nowhere. The fact is that you should not even think of marrying someone you can’t trust. So learn to trust your partner. Many of our assumptions are not always right! The fact that you called her and she did not pick the call is not to conclude that she’s seeing another man or maybe she deliberately did not want to pick your calls. Be considerate and always put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

UNDERSTANDING:

As earlier mentioned, one of the things courtship period does is to allow the two parties understand each other. Remember you both have different minds, so you can’t think alike, it calls for proper understanding to actually flow together. Learn to be patient with each other and not overreact too quickly, take things gently and with understanding. Most of the things that cause trouble or misunderstanding in courtship are just simple things.

COMMUNICATION:

Without effective communication there will be lots of assumptions and misunderstanding. You both must be able to express yourself in a way that you both will understand, talk plainly not in parables! Don’t assume your partner knows what you are thinking when you never told him/her, don’t assume he/she should know what you are passing through if you’ve never told him/her. Talk about your plans and visions, talk, talk, talk! Also remember that your body language is also part of communication, your partners is also reading the expressions on your face. When you say sorry, does your body language say so too?

BOUNDARIES:

Christian liberty is not freedom to commit sin, you must at the beginning of the courtship and as you go along set boundaries to guide your relationship as Christians, your boundaries determine your no-go areas. If you don’t set boundaries soon you will discover you are romancing and doing a lot of contrary things to God’s standard of holiness. Never engage in sex until you are married, petting, kissing and romancing are manifestations of lustful desires!

PRAYER:

Even in marriage it is said that the family that prays together stays together. Prayer is very vital in a relationship as well as reading scriptures and your devotion to God. Learn to pray together, the bible says if two of you shall agree as touching anything, it will be done. There are forces of darkness that may be militating against your life or your future home, you need to destroy their plans in fervent prayers. You need to commit everything, to God in prayers. Jesus said watch and pray!

DO’S IN CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

Most of the things earlier mentioned are things you need to be doing during courtship starting from praying together, discussing your future and so on, all these are vital to the success of the courtship and your home as well. I’ve also included in this write up some things that you need to discuss during courtship.

DON’TS IN CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

These are some things you need to avoid in other to have a successful Christian courtship.

Do not be exclusive in relating with each other all the time.

Do not plan to isolate yourselves in dark or solitary places where you can easily be tempted, why should the two of you be praying alone in a dark room?

Do not give in to your passion and abuse your bodies for sexual sins – avoid petting, necking, fondling, kissing, sex – Gal. 5:6, 1 Thess. 4:3-7. Remember true love waits.

Do not watch sexually explicit movies, porn movies, or x rated films together or alone.Mind what you wear, don’t tempt each other, don’t say after all he’s your fiancée and he is a child of God and then use that as a license to appear semi-nude, or wear transparent clothes or dress with no underwear while he’s around. Guys likewise should mind what they wear.Don’t let your good be evil spoken of (Rom.14:16). Avoid sleeping in the same room or on the same bed during visitation or on a tour. A brother said he can sleep on the same bed with a sister and nothing will happen, then I asked even if nothing happens then what are you trying to prove? Are you proving you have a PhD in Holiness or what? Can you be holy by your self-will without God’s grace? Friend, run away from every appearance of evil, otherwise the news of your fall will fill the air soon. Be wise!Don’t plan to have a very long courtship! Courtship takes a lot of commitment, so don’t even start it if you know you will not have the time to be committed to the relationship because the price of relationship is commitment.Courtship is not a period of gathering for a one-in-town wedding celebration that you can’t afford.

DO NOT IGNORE WARNING SIGNALS!!! So many Christians are regretting their marriage today or already have a broken home because they ignore warning signals during their courtship. When we make mistakes in choices as believers, God in His infinite mercies have a way of bringing us back to the right track especially when we are sincere and faithful to Him, during such moments He finds a way of letting you know that you are in a wrong relationship capable of ruining your future, this He can do through dreams, or constant fear any time you think about your spouse to be or through any other means.. if after you have prayed rigorously about it in order to be sure that the fear or revelation is not from the devil and the experience still keep coming then you have to quit the relationship. Some sisters, despite the fact that they can see that the guy they are engaged to is wayward yet they still follow stupidly probably because they felt if they disengage they might not get another person again or for some selfish reasons, same goes for guys.

Don’t let her facial beauty or long (artificial) hair becloud you of warning signals. You know within you that something is wrong, but you are allowing your head to rule your heart, the end result will be a disaster! Call it a quit. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Although it may be painful, you just have to do it and that is the reason why it is good to pray well and be very careful when choosing a life partner so that you don’t end up with heartbreak each time.

UNDERSTANDING CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

2017-09-12T16:18:00.000-04:00

The time of courtship is a time to discover God together; it’s a time of robbing your visions together, a time of knowing your family members and relations, a time to study each other’s culture, a time to study your differences (gender, family background, temperament, personal goals, and cultural differences).

It is a time of planning, not just the wedding, but the home, how your home will look like, planning your career/profession, and aspirations both spiritually and physically, it’s a period of setting goals.

It’s a period of discussing your finances, in-laws, responsibilities etc (see suggested topics for discussion during courtship in this article) and sex (but be careful not to fall into immorality while discussing sex, it’s better deferred to when the wedding day is close, books on sex in marriage can help but be careful not to go into sex before marriage as your body chemistry might be activated during this period especially when you are with your intended spouse! So watch!). Note: the relationship should be temporarily suspended if you both fall into sex and report yourselves to your pastor/guidance! Don’t continue in sin.

Courtship entails the unifying of your spirits as you study the bible together, pray and fast, learn the scriptures together, visit church programs, you must agree on bible doctrines e.g. Spirit baptism, water baptism, heaven and hell, faith, holiness, etc. visit your spiritual mentors together, read Christian literature.

It also entails unifying your minds together as you try to understand each other’s view on issues, what excite you may irritate your partner, it’s a period you understand what your partner values and trying to see from each other’s point of view. It’s a time to listen to each other and not being domineering.

It’s a time to look into the future together and also start buying things in readiness for the wedding and the home.

CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP

2017-09-12T16:16:00.002-04:00

Christian Courtship is simply the time gap between when a Christian lady says yes to a marriage proposal from a Christian brother.

In as much as you can’t go to the altar the following day of the marriage proposal, it therefore means that the period in between must be well utilized, failure of which a lot of marriages have suffered serious setbacks and breakage.

So what are you supposed to be doing between the period both of you formally agreed to be married and when you eventually get married (note: you are not married until you are married)

The period of courtship is not just the period to tell your fiancé/e I love you one million times a day or a time to be moving from one restaurant to another or just looking at each other’s faces and just planning for the wedding day alone, courtship is far more serious than that. Courtship is a period to really find out whether the two of you are meant for each other, a time to agree. The bible says can two walk together except they be agreed. A time to verify that the yes you said at the beginning is truly yes.

Note that set of rules must be agreed upon to guide your courtship, otherwise, you will be like a ship on a high sea without a compass and without an anchor. Rules are very important, write them down and follow them to the letter; the two of you must help each other to stand!

COURTSHIP ON CAMPUS

2017-09-12T16:09:00.000-04:00

Adewunmi & I

A lady told me they were advised in school never to date/court a fellow student but rather set their goals high on a working class man. She got confused, as she had heard me say many times that I met my husband in school.
I've been counseling some singles who are courting on campus as well and most, if not all the relationships ended up messy. How then have I been able to scale through?
Don't use anybody's relationship as a yardstick for yours, let the Lord guide you. That I met my husband in school does not mean you will meet yours there as well, you can't make your marital decision based on someone else's experience, we are all different.
God knows when and where you are to meet your spouse, yours is to walk with him, be sensitive to his leading and learn to obey him.
I did not go to school to get engaged. I went there to study and graduate in flying colours. Working class guys had proposed before I gained admission, they weren't God's will for me. I wasn't a naive, romance seeking teenager when I met hubby, I was already a mature woman, I was 24. I entered school late because my parents were too poor to send me to school. My teenage years was used hawking, working and learning crafts to survive.
I had a burning vision before I entered school and was pursuing it with vigour. I started my ministry on campus, organized programmes and was preaching before I met hubby. I had made up my mind not to have sex before marriage. I loved the Lord with all my heart and served him with all my strength...
I had read good books on relationships and was preparing myself to have a great marriage in future. All in all, I was a mature woman, I think that is what God saw before sending hubby my way. He knew I wouldn't take things for granted, I was mature enough to handle it and he wants me to have a man whom I could be friends with as my husband. He knew I am going to be teaching people how to have a great marriage. He knew I needed a man who will love me like Christ loves the church, develop intimate friendship with me and help me become all he designed me to be. He packaged all I need to be successful in my spouse and send him to my school. We are happily married today.
God deals with you based on the condition of your heart not your attitude or outward appearance. He will only give you what you can handle. If you will abuse the relationship by romancing and having sex instead of facing your studies, he won't send the guy/lady to you on campus.
I didn't hide my courtship in school. Everyone knew we were courting yet, were were among the best students in our departments. I was always with my books: reading, studying, attending fellowships, leading in my department, scoring high in all my courses, yet in full blown courtship!
I will advise you not to go to school look for a partner, go there to acquire your degree, diploma or certificate. Face your studies squarely.
Serve the Lord with all your heart. If the Lord knows you need to meet your partner for reasons best known to Him, He will send them to you, if not, avoid distractions, give your education your best while praying for a good life partner.
In His own precious and appointed time, he will surely bring your partner your way for "He makes all things beautiful in his time...." Eccl.3:11. Wait for his time, follow his leading, obey him and do His will. When the right time comes He will surely bring your partner your way. You will not miss it maritally in Jesus name. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017

TEN IMPORTANT FACT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU APPLY FOR A JOB

2017-09-12T15:54:00.000-04:00

FACT 1

*1. Waiting to be done with NYSC before you begin to seriously apply for a job is one of the greatest mistakes you ever want to make.*

This is one mistake many of us make or are about to make. You may nearly slap yourself if you wait till then. In fact before you finish NYSC you should have applied for at least 20 jobs and attended at least 2 interviews, that’s the mindset of a serious job seeker. Except you have a job waiting for you somewhere.
FACT 2

*2. If you made a 2:2 or third class, you are in a more competitive market and so you may need a super strategy to standout.*

This is because the job market is saturated and so one way many employers try to streamline the number of applicants is by stating that they need 2:1 or first class only.
This should not be a source of worry but should be a reason why you have to up your game. You need to go for additional training that are relevant (mark the word relevant), add some more skill, make your CV on point and all your applications superb! You can’t have a 2:2 and you are applying with different first class and 2:1 and you won’t do something different. You just have to stand out to improve your chances. Also you should apply in more places to increase your chances.

I will tell us two real life stories. Are we following?
Have you heard of this man called Tony Elumelu? I heard a story about him. Tony Elumelu graduated with a 2:2. His first banking job. The requirement was a first class or 2:2. But he still applied. Tony Elumelu applied but added a cover note, explaining why he felt he was still qualified despite graduating with a 2:2. Guess what? He was hired!
I tell you the story of a friend of mine. The person is with a top multinational company right now. She made a 2:2, but contacted me before applying for the job. I gave her some advice, helped her with a "wow" CV and prepared her for the interview. The day she went for the interview, all the interviewers kept commending her CV that they forgot to look at her grade. She was moved to the next stage of the interview. By this time, they had dropped some candidates. She was called again for a second interview, this time around with the top managers. She was scared. Again, they started praising her CV. Asking her questions and commending her. At the tail end, that was when one of them saw the grade. They were like, you mean you finished with a 2:2? She said yes. Then she explained why. Because she was honest and had already won their hearts, guess what! Weeks later, she was called to resume work!
This again is a fact many graduates and job seekers don't know!
FACT 3

*3. You don’t always need to know anyone to enter a company*

I don't know where most young people got this mindset from. They just conclude that all jobs can only be gotten by connection. I want to ask you a question. If you owned a company and you want that company to really grow. As in, you really want it to move forward. Say the truth would you like to hire all your employee based on connection? Wouldn't you want to use common sense to ensure that you have 1..2..3..4 who are really really qualified? Because if all workers were by connection it means the company will crumble. It means they are not looking for skill. And you know what that means.. the company will fall!!!

So because they know this, they can't keep giving all the jobs by connection. There is a place for skill, for those who are truly qualified. So the big question is..Are you among the few qualified?
FACT 4

*4. Getting into a company or organization is one thing, how you get in is another thing.*

This point is very crucial, please follow carefully!

The route via which you enter a company goes a long way to determine your salary, your future prospects in that company, your promotion or even the benefits you will be entitled to.

Its one thing to be working in shell or Mobil or Total, but the big question is how did you enter? You entered as what?

Have you heard of any of the following terms: Graduate Management Trainee, Technical Trainee, Contract Staff, Intern, Outsourcing?

Let me explain further taking the routes I mentioned above one after the other.

Do you know that the best way to enter a multinational company (MNC) as a young graduate is either as an intern or a graduate trainee.

Let me explain. An *intern* is not yet employed. He/she will be paid, but is being trained to work. If they find you competent they can now fully recruit you to become a trainee.

Now if you must enter a company and you want to enjoy the highest benefits, try your best to enter the Management Trainee programme.

Those who eventually become MDs and Head of Departments are those who enter as *Graduate Trainees*.

They are the ones the company likes to send abroad to do one course or the other. They are the ones with the fatter salary. They are the big boys and girls. This is why they are usually few!

The truth is not every one can enter as a graduate trainee, but aspire to do so, there is no harm in aiming big!

A *technical trainee* is usually for all the technical work. They usually like to take HND and OND for these roles. They believe they have the technical knowledge

The only thing is that, they are not paid as much as the Graduate Management Trainee

Then for *contract staff*, that one your salary is smaller. You are on contract and so your contract can end anytime, and you end up jobless again
*Outsourcing* - The company hires another company to do something for them. so you are working with company A, Shell hired company A on contract. so shell will pay your Company, then your company will pay you.
so you see, i am in shell, i am in shell...The right question is how did you enter shell? And whats your role in shell?
FACT 5

*5. When applying for a job in which you were given an email address to forward your CV, there are seven points you need to note.*

I. Your CV should be in pdf format- it should not be in word because it can scatter when opened on the other end. Except you were specifically told to send it that way.
II. You should ALWAYS attach a cover letter. Listen to me they may not say it but it’s a secret why they screen candidates out (it should be in pdf too)
III. You must have a subject and the subject should state the position you are applying for.
IV. Your email must not be empty! It’s a sin, many make that mistake. Your email should have a catchy and stimulating body which is similar but more straight forward and direct like the cover letter
V. Your application must have a complementary close (and optionally a picture which you insert through your email complementary close setting)
VI. You must do a proper search of that company and the role you are applying for.
VII. Try to use a computer not a phone. The greatest error you want to make is having the employer see things like “sent from my blackberry Z10” or “sent from my tecnoc8”. That shows how lazy you are and how you can’t make the extra effort of applying with professionalism

I have seen a lot of graduates err in this regard. They keep saying they have applied everywhere but they never get called. It is because your application was shabby and not pleasant to your employer.
Fact 6
*Cc vs Bcc*

-How many of us have seen this stuff in our emails?
-who knows what they are used for?
Okay, let me explain.

Cc stands for "carbon copy." Anyone you add to the cc: field of a message receives a copy of that message when you send it. All other recipients of that message can see that person you designated as a cc: recipient.

Bcc: stands for "blind carbon copy." Anyone you add to the bcc: field of a message receives a copy of that message when you send it. But, bcc: recipients are invisible to all the other recipients of the message including other bcc: recipients.

Now what is the importance of this knowledge of Cc and Bcc?

Sometimes if you are being referred by someone to apply for a job, you may sometimes need to put the person that referred you in copy to further strengthen your chances. Its more like a referral.

If you want the person you send the application, to know who referred you, you use Cc, if you want to code it you use BBC.
FACT 7

*7. Most of the available jobs are not usually advertised*
No matter how thoroughly you search for job openings on online job portals, job agencies, newspapers ads or even on the company's website - whatever jobs you find that way is only 15 percent of what's available. only 15 percent!!!

That's because 85 percent of jobs are never publicized. This is absolutely true, and done for good reasons.

The employers try to avoid the painful and costly process of sorting through the thousands of mostly crappy applications that follow any publicized job opening, so they would rather use other means of hiring the right people that don't require public advertisement.

The fact that you don't see any job openings doesn't mean a company is not hiring. So you can connect directly and can convince the company that your are the right person. You will be hired whether or not any job was advertised.

Again I must say... This doesn't mean jobs are not advertised at all.

Now there are three key people whom, if your CV can just get to them, they have the power to get you employed.

1. Heads of the department, unit or team in which you wish to work
2. The HR Manager
3. The CEO, MD or founder of the company

How then can your CV get to them? There is what they can targeted emailing.
FACT 8

*8. Doing a Masters immediately after NYSC is very dangerous for some categories of people!*

I know some people want to add something to their 2:2 or to their courses because they may not have studied some kind of courses that are very well appreciated in Nigeria
-But Masters immediately after NYSC is not for everybody.
i. If your family is broke and waiting for you to come and help them out
You would rather take that job, start looking for certifications, then you can sponsor yourself for masters.
ii. If you are like 24 and above, doing a masters immediately may not be advisable. By the time you are done they tell you not more than 26 years old (so you have no job experience, and you have lost on the age side)
-If you must do masters, do your calculations and consultations well. Don’t be a copy copy! Don’t follow crowd. Understand why you want to do it.
FACT 9

*9. Some of your CVs never get read by the employers*
Some companies use what is called an optimization software to scan through thousands of CVs looking for keywords. Any CV that doesn't have some keywords they are looking for get trashed.
Only after they finish optimization does a human being now start looking at the CVs remaining one by one.
Finally... FACT 10

*10. Getting a job is a full time job!*

Allow this point to sink into your head! If you are unemployed right now, you need to employ yourself into a new job called - GETTING A JOB

When something very important to you gets missing in your house, how do you search for it please?

You check under the table, inside your room, the toilet, u call ur uncle, u turn everywhere upside down!

is that correct?
So why is it that when its time to look for a job we do it with some lackadaisical attitude?

My dear, Nigeria is hard! To get a job, you have to be violent about it. You have to attend seminars, ask questions, apply here and there..as in let it be serious!

You don't get a job by watching Africa Magic

You don't get a job by going to cinema house every weekend

You don't get a job by knowing all the telemundo series.

No way! Getting a job is serious business.

Sentiment apart,

Every recent graduate in the business of getting a job in this era needs:

1. A Good smart phone (no matter how cheap)
2. A good monthly data plan (not all this 100 naira per month subscription) plus good Internet connection.
3. Access to power supply for minimum 2 hours daily.
4. Network with "correct" groups.
5. A laptop once in a while (could be your own, your neighbors own or you go to cyber Cafe).

Shell or Nestlé or whoever won't hear you were broke and so you couldn't come online to see their post for a vacancy that suited you.

MOTIVATION

2017-08-17T07:25:00.000-04:00

So how do management motivate staff? Let’s look at some classic management theories.

One of the most important pieces of work for any student of management is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Abraham Maslow developed the Hierarchy of Needs model in the USA in 1940-50s.The theory remains valid today for understanding human motivation, management training, and personal development. His view is that employers are responsible for providing a workplace environment that encourages and enables employees to fulfil their own unique potential.

Our most basic needs are instinctive, having evolved over many thousands of years. Individuals have levels of need which have to be satisfied in order, starting from the bottom with Biological and moving up to Self-actualisation .

The Hierarchy of Needs helps to explain how these needs motivate us, and states that we must satisfy each level of need in turn, starting with the one which deals with the most obvious needs for survival itself.

Only once the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied do we become concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personal development.

Conversely, if the things that satisfy our lower order needs are taken away, we are no longer concerned about the maintenance of our higher order needs.

The needs are defined as;-

Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc.
Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc.
Social, Belongingness and Love needs – work group, family, affection, relationships, etc.
Esteem needs – self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc.
Self-Actualization needs – realising personal potential, self-fulfilment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

So this would translate in business as:

You can’t expect people to respond well to an enhanced benefits package, say offering them a better office (level 4) when their basic financial compensation is not enough to pay the family bills (level 1)

You can’t motivate someone to achieve a performance target (level 4) when they’re having family problems (level 3).

You can’t expect someone to be an effective team member (level 3) when they have nowhere to live because they fell behind with mortgage payments (level 2).

Maslow’s theory is a simple model, a guide which requires some interpretation, but is extremely useful and applicable for understanding, explaining and managing human behaviour.

The basic interpretation of Maslow’s theory suggests that that once a need is satisfied the person moves onto the next, and to some extent this is correct. But it must be borne in mind that people and motivation are complex.

So while people do move up or down the hierarchy depending on their current circumstances, most people’s motivational mind set at any point will include elements of all of the motivational drivers.

For example, self-actualizers (level 5) are still motivated to eat (level 1) and socialise (level 3). Homeless people whose main focus is feeding themselves (level 1) and finding shelter for the night (level 2) can also be concerned with social relationships (level 3) and how their friends might perceive them (level 4).

Maslow’s work and ideas extend beyond the Hierarchy of Needs. His concept of self-actualisation still relates to today’s employers and organisations .The challenge they face is to provide real meaning, purpose and personal development for their employees lives.

Maslow saw that even the most junior employees have a basic human need and a right to strive for self-actualisation, just as much as directors and owners do.
Today’s successful organisations and employers are those who genuinely care about their employee’s personal growth towards self-actualisation and who encourage and enable them.

They understand that sustainable success is built on a serious commitment to helping people identify, pursue and reach their personal potential. And that when they achieve their potential, or grow towards it, they become more effective and valuable as employees.

They recognise that personal growth, whether through a hobby, or special talent, or a new experience, produces new transferable skills and attributes, that can be useful in their work.

TEAM LEADERSHIP

2017-08-17T06:49:00.002-04:00

There are very many theories and models of leadership, leadership philosophies and leadership styles.

When we look at Team Leadership, Management and Motivation you will learn about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Adair’s Action Centred Leadership. We also consider how important money is in the management of motivation.

Team Leadership.

There are very many theories and models of leadership, leadership philosophies and leadership styles.

Let’s consider Action Centred Leadership.

Action Centred Leadership – John Adair – A model for team leadership and management

John Adair (born 1934) developed his Action Centred Leadership (ACL) model while lecturing at Sandhurst Royal Military Academy and as assistant director and head of leadership department at The Industrial Society, during the 1960 and 1970s

The ACL model is Adair’s best known work, in which there are three elements, which are;-

Achieving the Task

Developing the Team

Developing Individuals

They are mutually dependent, as well as being separately essential to the overall leadership role.

Adair set out these core functions of leadership, vital to the ACL model:

Planning – seeking information, defining tasks, setting aims.
Initiating – briefing, task allocation, setting standards.
Controlling – maintaining standards, ensuring progress, ongoing decision-making.
Supporting – individuals’ contributions, encouraging, team spirit, reconciling, encouraging morale.
Informing – clarifying tasks and plans, updating, receiving feedback and interpreting.
Evaluating – feasibility of ideas, performance, enabling self-assessment.

Adair promotes a ’50:50 rule’ – the view that 50% of motivation lies with the individual and 50% comes from external factors, among them leadership from another. He also suggests that 50% of team building success comes from the team and 50% from the leader.

Successful managers and leaders focus on all three areas of the Action Centred Leadership model, to get results, build morale, improve quality and productivity, and develop their team.

The three parts of Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership model are commonly represented by three overlapping circles, which is a trademark belonging to John Adair. It is one of the most recognizable and iconic symbols within management theory.

John Adair’s Action-Centred Leadership model is represented by Adair’s ‘three circles’ diagram, which illustrates Adair’s three core management responsibilities:

achieving the task
managing the team or group
managing individuals

Responsibilities of a manager for achieving the task are:

define the task -identify aims and objectives for the group, purpose, and direction
identify and obtain resources, people, processes, systems and tools
create the plan to achieve the task – deliverables, measures, timescales, strategy and tactics
clarify responsibilities, objectives, accountabilities and targets
set priorities ,standards, quality, time and reporting parameters
control and maintain activities against parameters
monitor and maintain overall performance against plan
report on progress towards the group’s aim
review, re-assess, adjust plan, methods and targets as necessary
evaluate success

Responsibilities of a manager for the group are

establish, agree and communicate standards of performance and behaviour
establish style, culture, approach of the group – soft skill elements. Encourage suggestions
monitor and maintain discipline, ethics, integrity and focus on objectives
anticipate and resolve group conflict, struggles or disagreements, and grievances
assess and change as necessary the balance and composition of the group
develop team-working, cooperation, morale and team-spirit
develop the collective maturity and capability of the group – progressively increase group freedom and authority
encourage the team towards objectives and aims – motivate the group and provide a collective sense of purpose
identify, develop and agree team- and project-leadership roles within group
enable, facilitate and ensure effective internal and external group communications
identify and meet group training needs
give feedback to the group on overall progress; consult with, and seek feedback and input from the group.
Responsibilities as a manager for each individual are:
understand the team members as individuals – personality, skills, strengths, needs, aims and fears
assist and support individuals – plans, problems, challenges, highs and lows
identify and agree appropriate individual responsibilities and objectives
give recognition and praise to individuals – acknowledge effort and good work, feedback and encourage.
where appropriate reward individuals with extra responsibility, advancement and status
identify, develop and utilise each individual’s capabilities and strengths
train and develop individual team members, review performance
develop individual freedom and authority

WHAT SOFT SKILLS ARE EMPLOYERS LOOKING FOR IN A CANDIDATE

2017-06-14T06:40:00.001-04:00

The answer depends on the position obviously, but apart from any Job Specific skills and basic literacy and numeracy there are other intangible soft skills that do make some candidates better prospective employees than others.

Many employers specify hard skills only in their job specification but when it comes to interview they will be taking them as a given, and looking to confirm the presence of soft skills that make an employment interaction work well.

And while you can’t necessarily learn a good attitude, you can pay attention to how your soft skills are perceived by the recruiter, and you can improve some of your soft skills.

These are the soft skills most employers would prefer their employees to have;-

Common sense. The thing with common sense is it is not that common. It is necessary though, for the smooth running of a business, unless you want to supervise everyone all the time.
Self-starter. You want to know that people are motivated to make things happen and won’t just sit waiting for the next instruction.
Initiative. When they see a problem and a solution they will speak up.
Strong work ethic. They don’t expect an easy ride, something for nothing, and are prepared to work for their rewards
Honesty. They won’t cheat you
Integrity. They have consistency of character and act according to exemplary values, beliefs and principles.
Social intelligence. The skill of understanding and managing other people.
Emotional intelligence. The skill of understanding and managing emotions.
High energy and positive attitude. They will work hard and well.
Team player and /or leader. That they can work with other people and lead if appropriate.

The reason they look for these skills is that people who have them are more likely to be the solution to a problem rather than take up management time and make life difficult for those around them.

Most experienced managers have had their share of problems with difficult employees. So employers are open to considering less qualified candidates with excellent personal skills.

You need to be aware of the importance of these critical soft skills and how you can use them to leverage your application .Work them into your cover letter and demonstrate them in job interviews. Ensure you have examples of them in your prepared answers for behaviour based interview questions.

For example

“Tell me about a time when you have demonstrated Common sense “

“Tell me about a time when you have demonstrated you are a self-starter “

etc

Highlighting these skills and using them as examples of how you work, may even make up for any hard skill deficiencies, as long as you have the necessary JobSspecific skills

So your task is to persuade potential employers that you are a person with lots of common sense, are self-motivated, honest, hardworking, and a positive person who can demonstrate they are ready and willing to become a high performing employee.

LIFE TONIC

2017-06-14T06:22:00.000-04:00

Don't give up! it only takes longer, you will surely embrace success!

FOR COUPLES AND THOSE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED

2017-06-14T06:21:00.000-04:00

FOR OUR MEN:
Carry your wife to the bed when she sleeps off in the sitting room, make her feel like a baby at times. The truth is, every woman wants to be treated like a 2yrs old girl at times, that's why women behave childish or silly at times.
You may have an argument with your wife and the next thing is that you will see her putting her bags outside the house, it doesn't mean she is asking for a divorce, she is just being childish, she simply wants you to hold her, look her in the eyes and say "I am sorry for the argument".

That's women for you. Every brother needs to study in the university of women before getting married, read books about them, learn what the Bible says about them and you will hardly have a problem with them.
Though there may still be some challenges, because you're both from different background and your imperfections are bound to stand.
So, read books about marriage, an ideal home, child upbringing, importance of marriage and the likes. Don't just jump into marriage with an empty head about matrimony, you will have problems.

How many men can tolerate their wives nagging let alone shouting? It's said that, you should be quiet when your spouse is angry, when one person is fire, the other person should be water.
Brothers, when your wife steps on your feet intentionally or mistakenly, don't let your eyes turn red, just smile at her, if she did it intentionally, she is just playing with you, if she did it mistakenly, its not her fault. So why shout at her over every small mistake?

As a man learn to ignore some things, don't be petty. Some men are feminist; Do "hide and seek" with your wife, sing poems for your wife in the garden or inside the house, even if she is teasing you.
Assist her in the house chores, pound yam, fetch water, don't make her look like your maid. Bathe together, wake her up for prayers, swim with her if it's available, cook together, teach her how to cook if she doesn't know how to cook. Cooking is not the ticket to Paradise. It's not only a feminine duty.
Use blind folds to cover her eyes and tickle her, scare her at times, call her from work/ school, text her, write "I love you" in a small note and put it under her pillow or in her purse or in her bathroom or in her cosmetics box or inside her cupboard. Kiss her always, cuddle her, pamper her and play with her hair. Always tell her, she's beautiful and that you're happy to have her as your partner.

All these are part of being romantic...When a woman tells you that you are not romantic. It means you are not doing all these things, its not the romance in the bedroom she is talking about. That's why, you brothers have to study "women's language" it's a 10 year course.

FOR LADIES:

It is part of your duty to be romantic too. Your shyness shouldn't get to your marital life and that doesn't mean you should be shy to express your love to your husband.

Send sweet text messages to your husband at work, sometimes even if you are in the room discussing with your husband, still be chatting with him on social media (Facebook, Whatsapp, Viber, Imo, bbm etc) even though he is right in front of you, it's fun and romantic! Discuss how lovely he is on your facebook timeline, this will trip him a lot.
You should be chatting with your husband, not other men on social media networks.

Buy flowers for him. When eating, give him the biggest meat. At times, bake cake for him to surprise him. Ladies, use your soft voice to sing for him, be creative, a poem like (twinkle, twinkle lovely spouse, how I wonder what you are, up above my world so high, like a diamond in my heart).
Sing poems for him, no shyness is allowed. Don't just be welcoming your husband with an angry face because there is no money in the house, God is our provider. Don't welcome your husband with your body smelling maggi, don't only play with your husband when he receives his salary.

Welcome him with a warm hug always, and when he is going to work, pray to God to keep him safe and for him to be successful. Support him, advise him, wipe his tears, be grateful to him, it's not easy to be a man, when you see his faith waxing cold, encourage him, don't threaten him that you will seek for divorce, don't compare him with other men, buy him gifts, wash his clothes, sing for him, praise him in a way that he wouldn't think of an alternative, be the best cook, wash his car if u have the time, dress him up, pamper him when he is sick.

Wake him with a peck and don't complain about his snoring habit.
Let kiss be the messenger between you. Read books on intimacy, don't learn it from what you see in movies..
Most of what you see there are not real. Call your husband pet names. Though you can also call him by his name even if he is 30yrs older than you, as far as he is comfortable with it.

Remember that, God said, men are the protectors and maintainers of women. So respect him and honour him even if he is younger than you. Marriage isn't a bed of roses but a bed of sacrifice. It's said that, there is nothing better for two people who love each other than marriage.
To fall in love is a disease and its cure is to marry the person one is in love with. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance and you find out you still care for that person.

Finally, married men, divide your nights into 3: one for yourself (sleeping), one for your wife and one for your Lord.. That's the best night one can ever have.

LOVE MAKING IS ONLY FOR MARRIED PEOPLE. IF U CAN'T HOLD BACK, PLZ GET MARRIED.
I WISH YOU LOVE.

FRANKLY SPEAKING BY MUYIWA AFOLABI– THE LEADERSHIP WITHIN.

2017-06-14T06:00:00.001-04:00

Leadership is not exclusively about positions of power and authority, leadership is much more about influence. It is your ability to connect with others and secure their buy-in regarding your vision, conviction, or advocacy in life. It is about drawing the attention of the people that matter or those involved to something important, useful, and relevant.

Many people today don’t realize they are leaders as they usually suppose leadership is in positions and appointments. Many don’t think they can influence anyone or anything. Many primarily see themselves as subjugates, onlookers, or supporters of anything they see or identify with. Many don’t really know everyone is a leader. You see, all humans are born as kings, you are not created by the almighty to just exist and pass through this world without impact or influence. You are on an assignment, you are here to achieve a purpose and deliver good to humanity.

The almighty definitely does not waste resources, hence he wouldn’t waste his time and creativity investing so much into you for nothing. You are not on this earth to exist, eat, procreate, and die off one day. If that’s all there is to you, I’m afraid other creatures can do that as well. There is therefore a superior purpose to your being human than eating, existing, surviving, and procreating. You are definitely made for more. There is something powerful, relevant, and critical to humanity, especially those around you, that your maker deposited in you and only you can most efficiently deliver to better a lot of those around you and in fact your generation.

Many have heard this remark several times and today it may not be that inspiring or motivating but your feelings and disposition to this fact do not refute the reality that you are more than just another number making up the 7 billion humans on Earth, your life is very important to humanity and your maker will demand accountability; beyond for a life of morality, you’ll also account for your assignment and gifts and purpose on the day of reckoning. Your talents, be it five, two, or just one is your makers investment in you and he would surely ask one day how you used it and profited humanity with it.

That talent, that gift, that natural ability; your passion, conviction, and persuasions on matters of life and humanity, have you buried them?

That special humanitarian need that the almighty tailor-made you for, is it still suffering? That humanitarian gap, the correct answers to the needs of mankind, the needs of men, the needs of women, the needs of children, the needs of families, the needs of marriage, societies, the need for equality, fairness, protection, preservation, creativity, reorientation, spirituality, and all the world is still in dire need of and your maker designed you to answer, are you answering?

Have you buried your natural gifts and talents under the soil of that desperate need for survival, social rivalry, materialism, perceptions, prestige, opinions of men, or greed?

Is the whole of your life today centered around making more money to outdo your rivals and competitors in materialism? Are you investing anything in your purpose and your reason for being in this world?

Without your school certificates, qualifications, and your employment identity card, how would you describe who you are, how would you introduce yourself in destiny?

Is your self-definition achievement based? Do you introduce yourself by what you are and what you’ve achieved? Without the job without the business please who are you?

If you can’t introduce yourself based on your assignment and the agenda you’re here to push on earth, you are yet to manifest leadership. Your maker is not going to demand of you your certificates and qualifications and official positions on the day of reckoning, but surely, he’ll ask about your gifts and talents and calling as these are the things He personally invested in you for your purpose and assignment on earth. What are you doing for humanity? Who is blessed and glad you are alive? Who is thanking God daily for your life? Who is grateful to God that you exist? Who and what are you positively influencing for good?

Do you sincerely care about the needs and pains and hurt of others in this world or your personal needs and comfort are your priority? Then you’re definitely not a leader. Leadership is the ability to influence humanity positively based on your calling, talents, gifts, and design. Position and titles without influence are not leadership, it's pure vanity.

For you to truly enjoy your stay in this world and enjoy real peace in the midst of all the pain, hurt, and hardship, you must locate your place and fulfill your assignment. Having such peace that people around you can’t understand especially in the midst of crisis is found in the place of your purpose. Tension, agitation, fear, insecurity, and panic characterize the life of anyone misplaced in this world. They are the signs that follow those who are not in their place in this life.

You are naturally designed to lead, your being human is the proof you’re created to have dominion. The kingly nature in every human is proven through the desire to control everything and everyone. That natural inclination to dominate and control people and situations is proof you’re a king. Other creatures don’t have it, they just want to survive. Being a natural king makes you a natural leader. This implies there’s an aspect in life, a side to humanity you’re expected to dominate and influence. That aspect is actually your kingdom, your domain as a natural king, if you’re not dominating the area of life you’re custom-made to influence positively in life, you’re failing your kingly nature hence you’re not leading in life.

This hence is probably the reason for your frustration and many worries in life, the life you live is not designed for you; it’s a life type less or different from yours hence you’re misplaced and I’m afraid you can hardly be happy no matter how rich you are as in this life it is possible to fail successfully.

Ladies and gentlemen, how do you manifest your leadership from within? How do you operate and influence from your place of purpose and design? Kindly follow these steps:

Your Creator’s Priorities. If you believe in the concept of the higher being, if you believe in God, if you believe all things that we see and the whole universe is not a product of chaos but finely designed and articulated by an intelligent super-being the majority of humans call God, you must hence find out his priorities.

I think this is embedded in our conscience as humans. The knowledge of good and evil; not judging from the perspective of our personal feelings but the consequence on all concerned should lead us to His priorities. Love is better than hate. Generosity is superior to greed. Giving life is better than taking a life. I’m persuaded our maker’s priority is to love humanity, preserve the earth and all inhabitants, fairness, and justice, and do good to all. Within all this, you should connect with your leadership essence and your place in this world. Your deepest convictions. Anything about humanity that touches you emotionally either in passion, pain, or positive obsession is a pointer to your throne of influence and leadership on earth, go after it.

Leadership Identity – Once you connect with your deepest convictions, don’t keep it to yourself, develop a model for manifestation and influence. Conceive a strategy for manifestation. Do something about it. The whole creation is eagerly waiting for your manifestation at your place of influence. Let the world know you for something.

Say and Do. Don’t just speak, advocate, campaign, canvass and speak up for something, you must practice what you teach and preach and present and represent as well. Don’t just say things, People are better influenced through proof not just by talk. Talk is cheap. Don’t ask of others what you’ve not sacrificed. You must lead by example. Don’t ask what you’ve not given or can’t give.

Whatever you choose to do, wherever you choose to lead, anything you spend your life and time on, on earth must have the capacity to outlive you. After you pass on, the good work must continue. Any investment, job, career, or sacrifice that will go to the grave with you is perhaps not a worthy one. Let your mark on earth and humanity have eternal value. Leave glorious eternal footprints in the sand of time.

Ladies and gentlemen, you’re indeed a king, with an area to dominate, there is a leader within you, it's time you manifest.

By Muyiwa Afolabi - http://www.muyiwaafolabi.com/

LIFE TONIC

2016-11-30T02:47:00.003-05:00

Don't give up! it only takes longer, you will surely embrace success!

LIFE TONIC

2016-11-30T02:33:00.001-05:00

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely

LIFE TONIC

2016-11-30T02:30:00.001-05:00

The hardest prison to escape from is your mind

LIFE TONIC

2016-11-30T02:11:00.000-05:00

Your success in life is strongly on what you hear, what you do, what you see and how you do them. And this can be achieved if you have the right set of people around you.

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

2016-11-30T02:09:00.000-05:00

Man was created by God into the world neither to exist solely nor be self-dependent, instead, he was created to be in one relationship in one way or another. Nobody can boldly step out and say he can live a complete life existing as a lone ranger. ironically, he can still live life in the literal sense of the word, but he cannot live to make life worth more living. This situation can be likened to cooking. To cook any type of meal, you need a recipe and the recipe is the list of all the ingredients you will need to make your meal an actual meal. The ingredient already exist, you don't need to create or form them, all you need is to get them, follow the right procedures and viola! Your meal is ready. The meal is like the outcome of the relationship; the recipe is more like common sense and wisdom;while the ingredients are people. we all need right people around us to make us better. We need right people to make our meal a delectable one. It is a known fact that one tree can never make a forest and no man is an island of knowledge.

Being part of a relationship can also either be tedious or easy. It can either be energy sapping or enjoyable. it can only give back what you put into it. An omelet is only as good as the eggs. When you use healthy and fresh eggs, your omelet tastes yummy but when the eggs are rotten, just one bit will cause your omelet to be the write-off. So, it is actually Garbage in , Garbage out as widely used in the computer world.

A Relationship can also be likened to the art of dance. There is always a dance floor,music is on and you are just there dancing. Imagine you dancing alone with the music on, how will you feel? Of course , you may think that you are enjoying your relationship but you wouldn't know what you are missing until you get yourself a partner. The scripture says, one will chase one thousand but two will chase ten thousand. Hmm, how awesome will it be if you have a right person beside you?

In conclusion, the people around you determine your level of achievement. Watch the people around you, are they influencing positively or negatively? check your life are where you are supposed to be? If not, you had better be involved with a new right set of people. Get yourself acquainted with good people, hear the positive comment, see a positve vision, and get them done by working so hard and praying.

Remember! your success in life is strongly on what you hear, what you do, what you see and how you do them. And this can be achieved if you have the right set of people around you.

BE FOCUSED, DETERMINED, PRAYERFUL AND DREAM BIG

GOD BLESS YOU

PROCRASTINATION- THE GREATEST HINDRANCE TO SUCCESS

2016-09-30T14:46:00.002-04:00

One of the greatest enemies of progress is Procrastination. Procrastination simply put is a psychological behavior that everyone has to one degree or the other. It is a friend to failure and Has led so many people down its path. It is the act of delaying, postponing, putting off especially habitually or intentionally. To some people it could be minor, while to some people it is source of considerable stress and anxiety. The degree at which different procrastinators procrastinate varies. Some people will leave undone some very important things relating to their career, life and even their future all in the name of “ I am busy right now, I will do it later” procrastination.

There are several behavioural characteristics of procrastination.

It leads to manipulation of some important things. What you need to do at the right time and left undone, by the time you start to rush to them, it can never be as you ought to do them. You will start manipulating your ways to get those things done before stipulated time.Procrastination.

It leads to failure. Most especially among we students. Many students have fine,well-planned personal timetable,but do not follow them just because of procrastination. Procrastination will discourage them from doing the assignment as at when due, go to classes on time, write a note in class and even go to the Library to read. It will keep telling them, ”why can’t you do it later, you still have more time” Hmnnnn, if you give your time to procrastination, you will end up with a regret of your action.

Note this, God bless everyone he created with a particular gift, 24 hours every day of your life. How are you using your own gift? The unused time of yesterday cannot be added to today’s time. if you did not use your yesterday judiciously, you cannot reuse or correct it today, you can only make the best use of your today. Avoid Procrastination, it kills, it delays, it waste time, it’s devastating and it’s deadly.

The major reason why people procrastinate

Fear of how to get started, if I do it now, people will know am capable. Hmnnn, why can’t you screw up and see the benefit you will obtain from doing it. There is nothing one do in life that one will not benefit from, whether good or bad. You will always learn from that thing. Start now and get it done.
The desire to have everything done perfectly. Rome was not built in the day. Perfection is not a day work. Start from somewhere, the journey of a thousand mile start with a step, get started, avoid procrastination.
Avoidance. A situation whereby you don’t want to do a particular thing at a particular time just because of the presence of some people. You don’t want to read with some set of people, you then procrastinate .
Hardened heart. To some people, their heart is so hardened that, even when they know the right thing to do, they will never do it until probably when they find it difficult to do such thing again.
Time management. Inefficient time management is a major factor why people procrastinate. If you cannot use your time effectively, procrastination is inevitable for you.
Fear of failure. This is common among student. The course you are supposed to offer now, just because the course is difficult, you shift your evil days forward. Procrastination.

Overcoming Procrastination

You need to be;

Prayerful
Hardworking
Determined

Benefit of overcoming Procrastination

Efficient time management:- When you overcome procrastination, you make the best use of your time. You do the right thing at the right time
Rest of mind:- by the time you avoid procrastination, you have peace of mind. You would have done things the normal time they ought to be done

THE POWER OF CONSISTENCY

2016-09-14T19:25:00.001-04:00

"In life, slow and steady wins the race, fast and consistence win more than the slow and steady."

"Consistency plays a major role in bridging the gap between you and your success."

"The toughest thing about success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in this business. You’ve got to keep on working that talent. Someday I’ll reach for it and it won’t be there."
Irving Berlin

"One way to develop faith and confidence is simply to practice using it. If I were to ask you whether you’re confident that you can tie your own shoes, I’m sure you could tell me with perfect confidence that you can. Why? Only because you’ve done it thousands of times! So practice confidence by using it consistently, and you’ll be amazed at the dividends it reaps in every area of your life."
Anthony Robbins

"Really successful people feel the same boredom and the same lack of motivation that everyone else feels. They don’t have some magic pill that makes them feel ready and inspired every day. But the difference is that the people who stick with their goals don’t let their emotions determine their actions. Top performers still find a way to show up, to work through the boredom, and to embrace the daily practice that is required to achieve their goals."
James Clear

"Consistency is a jewel, but too much jewelry is vulgar."

Evan Esar

"Consistency: It's the jewel worth wearing; It's the anchor worth weighing; It's the thread worth weaving; It's a battle worth winning."

Charles Swindol

"Do it again and again. Consistency makes the rain drops to create holes in the rock. Whatever is difficult can be done easily with regular attendance, attention and action." Israelmore Ayivo

"Let there be consistency in whatever you do and whatever you say. If what you think and say is mismatching with what you do, you can't really be trusted." Israelmore Ayivor

"Success isn't always about greatness, its about consistency. consistent, hardwork gains success. greatness will come...success isn't overnight. its when everyday you get a little better than the day before.it will add up"

Dwayne Johnson

One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo132601.html?src=t_consistency

One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest. Maya Angelou
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mayaangelo132601.html?src=t_consistency

Stay focused, you will soon get there. Success is your birthright, so you must have it.

God bless you.