Expression Has A New Name

Sound of Surprises

2012-02-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

Into the clouds of happiness, you must be flying free,
With new hopes and comfort, when you swim around the sea,
Did you ever realize, a dead fish floating on?
Did you ever really have, time to remember me?

I lie around the same bed, that I used to sleep,
I come across the bitches that I used to trip,
I still think about days, when ‘I’ and ‘you’ were ‘we’,
Did you ever really have, time to remember me?

It was meant to be ended; it turned to be a sad song,
And I kept on asking, where did I go wrong?
All that lives in between, Is the murmuring of breath,
And I kept on asking, why did it take so long?

And sometime how much I miss, the person we used to be,
Sometime, how much life gives to learn, live and see?
And with all those memories that fly away from you,
Did you ever really have, time to remember me?

(Written by: Shwadhin, Feb 8, 2012)

The Final Goodbye

2012-01-30T19:56:00.000-08:00

I could put my heart on hand,
Could let my tears drop on land,
I could close my eyes forever,
But can't forget where I stand.

Lost the dream of living with you,
I have lost my heart and soul,
Questioning where did I go so wrong,
Fucked off enough to loose control.

I can't make you understand,
How it hurts to see you go,
Lonely, insane and paranoid,
Probably I should learn to grow.

Isn't love all about change and care?
Heart does go through wear and tear,
If leaving you is like living you,
Delete the memories that we share.

Those years that kept us alive,
Has no meaning to your callous heart,
Your ego won't let you come to me,
And you are fine with living apart.

With all my heart that takes your name,
I let you go but I will cry,
You will always be my part,
And thanks for bidding that final Goodbye.

(Written by: Shwadhin Sharma, Jan 30th, 2012)

The Illusion

2012-01-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

Sometime you focus so much on what is wrong that you forget what is right. This happens plenty of times in a relationship. I am no stranger to giving up or drowning in a relationship. It has sometime taken out the best of me and sometime the worst of me. I am grateful to everything that happened in my life and grateful to everyone that stuck by me when I needed them and also, when I was never needed to them. Today, I am trying to look what was (and still is) right in my relationship (with everyone) rather than what was/went wrong.

I am not perfect. I will never be. I might ask for perfection when it comes to doing things but in relationship I fail miserably. I want to change the person that loves me as I am. I know my demerits. I know the dark side of me. But I know, I have change over time. I have slowly known the value of everything around me and have started appreciating it as it is. Not that I do not lose my mind now and then but yes, I have changed for better than worst.

Somewhere I read that “Sometimes We Expect More From Others Because We Would Be Willing to Do That Much for Them”. True, I do that always. While doing that, there is a risk that people take me differently. I have given everything for things that I have loved and for things that are not in my list of priority, I totally cut them off. This is not my strength or weakness but just my habit. And again, there is a risk that people take me differently for it. But I know those who love me will love me for everything I do and probably do not need a reason to love me. And for those who want to hate me, they will find a reason to hate me or go away from me for everything.

So many times I felt like giving up on so many different things. I kept on hanging on till I saw a better ending. This just doesn’t happen when it comes to love. I always believed that one should never give up when there is a slightest of doubt of if you love her or not. Ah, not the case this time.

I apologized and it was taken as a proof that I was the one to make mistake. I wrote words to say how much I love and I was blamed that I don’t put anything to my action. Ah, even if I paint the world with my blood, you will still blame me why the colors aren’t that dark red. I came back to you again and again and you took me for granted. I was never perfect for you. Never.

This time, it’s not about how many pieces the heart has turned to. It was always broken and was always shattered. This time, the pieces don’t fit together anymore. You know it’s time to hang on the boot when the small fights that used to increase the sense of attachment increase the sense of guilt. You know it’s time to quit when the fight you are doing for a better relationship seems a ‘fight’ of no sense to your better half. This time I have been knocked down so badly that I don’t even want to backup. The feeling of being misunderstood, the feeling of loneliness despite being two and the feeling of not being needed kills. Don’t they say love is all about disappearing in the world of two by forgetting the outer world? Don’t they say love is being one when the outer world is trying to divide you? How wrong were they?

I know that we not gonna make it any more. But that won’t make me love you less. I know there is no control to this heart that once was your place to live. You got all the freedom to fly and probably live your life you always wanted to. And I have so many questions to answer about. I wasn't good enough but I never thought we will end up for like this. I never thought I will have no courage to come to you and speak up again. But today, I can put a brave face and say that once upon time you were mine. And I was the only thing you ever wanted.

I may never know how to love but I do not know how to hate you. But I am learning how to let go. You meant everything to me but if we can't make it work, it's time to set you free. You were and you will always be the one best thing that I never had. And with you gone, this so called short life looks terribly long with each passing days.

Shwadhin

चाहना

2011-10-25T22:02:00.001-07:00

हजार चाहना थिए,
हर चाहना मा तिम्रो नाम थिए,
तिम्रो प्रेम मा पागल थिए,
तिम्रो प्रेम मा बद्नाम थिए,
नजर भित्र राख्दा राख्दै,
नजर बाट टाढा गयौ,
निकाली दिए आँखा हरु,
यी आँखा को अब के काम थिए।

- स्वाधिन

Life

2011-10-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

It just feels like yesterday when you were by the bed side cuddling me. It just feels like yesterday when I was putting my arms around you tightly just to express how much I missed you when you were not with me. Today, I stand alone and all I have are memories.

Where did I go wrong? Probably, in so many different places. With time I changed. With time, the devil within me just couldn't content with little damage. But with time, I did come closer to you. With time, I started learning that either it's your or it's no one else. I am not perfect. I have made so many mistakes but I never wanted to be like this. The pressure of trying too hard and not getting what I wanted got me down.

Every single moment, I feel like dialing your number and talking with you. But I know that would just hurt you. I could never give you happiness with my presence in your life. And if you think my absence will open up many doors for your happiness, I will keep that chance to make you happy.

Dotted lines

2011-10-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

No matter how much I try to deceive myself, my heart does know that you are the only thing that I ever needed. Lonely, and guilty............just can't run away from my mistakes, can I?

Perspective

2011-04-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say thank you to you for giving me all the love and support. I know you aren’t perfect. I know you may not be the best in this world. I know there might be better women than you. But I know there can never be any better women than you for me. You bestowed me with everything I ever wished. I never come back to say thank you or probably I don’t feel the need to show my gratitude most of the times. But today, here I am, saying you a heartfelt of appreciation for being with me and making me a better human being. I have blossomed with you and under you. Today, I have become better than yesterday. There have been differences many of the times than not but these differences have always shown how hard and how deep we stand for each other. It’s a different thing that we don’t know how to fight, how to discuss or how to put our points across to each other. It’s a different thing that we both have to win in our arguments. But it’s a total different thing that in all these we find ‘us’ living quietly and creating memories for us to remember. We have slowly become one. Thank you for giving me thousands of reasons to smile and a few reasons to frown that make me know that perfect ain’t better. And after a long time, I say it again that it is these little imperfections that makes us so perfect and keeps us so close.

Lastly, in case you have forgotten, let me repeat again. All I need is you. I love you a lot. And thanks for everything.

Sincerely,
Shwadhin Sharma

The waiting game in the changeling’s nation

2011-04-14T04:33:00.000-07:00

As I wait for this wait to be over, my heart races faster than the speed of the light. I know I am wrong to wait for things to come to standstill after a tsunami of events. I may also be wrong to force things to happen rather than wait for them. Whatever it is, I am loosing something called feelings from my heart. All that lies in it is bitterness.

This wait may be a beginning or the beginning of the end for me. I am not here because of my ego. I am not here because I want to win. I am here because I am hurt. The tear flows when people closest to your heart don’t understand you. The heart aches when you can’t share your insecurities to them as for every line you share with them, they develop tons of feelings against you.

I am a boy who always refuses to grow up but time force me to be a man. These last 4 days have made me 4 years older and probably mature by 4 years as well. This has taught me what life is, what ache is, and most importantly what loosing is. Most of the time, I hit pain with a smile but time hits me back with more pain. I subtly refuse to see the problem but time forces me to face it and fight it. And now I see life from a different angle. A man, who used to smile for every silly reason, is now searching for one such reason to smile.

I was searching for my happiness in your smile, my joy in your heart and probably me in your mind. But slowly, I realized, there is no my world in your world. I was dreaming too big for the dream to come true. I probably ended on the wrong side of the river. This side didn’t have the water to quench my thirst but have the waves to swallow me, didn’t have the wind to soak my tears but had the storms to take away my smile and didn’t have the sand to leave my footprint behind but had enough memories to keep me hurting.

I once wrote “There's never too late to say 'I am sorry', never too late to say 'I love you' and never too late to say 'Will you be mine?' ”. I was wrong. I should have understood by now that I am no prodigy or omnipotent. I should never come down to my knee and say sorry. In a world where there is no market for my emotions, I shouldn’t have advertised my weaknesses. I should keep silent and count on silences to be my friend. But then if silences mean anything, I could have written a book out of it.

I know if my absence doesn't alter your life, then my presence has no meaning in your life. Also, if you can’t hear what I scream, I wonder if you ever have the right to hear what I’m humming. I pushed, prodded and cajoled you in every step of your life. I guess, it’s time for me to leave you behind and walk away instead of playing this waiting game in the changeling’s nation. As I depart, I leave my parting lines for you.

Camouflage is the world,
Camouflage is the life,
Camouflage is the love,
Camouflage, You.

(Shwadhin, April 12, 2011)

Spare Heart

2011-04-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

Do you have a spare heart?
I need one for mine to replace,
No it’s not your fault,
My love for you ain’t less,
I am just not good enough,
I am quitting this wonderful race,
I gave my last shot for us,
Now don’t you spit on my face.

I knew, love was hard,
I knew, I could fall,
I knew tears may roll,
Beneath the broken wall,
I knew I could be in this wrong place,
I knew the color may not be right,
I knew I may not expand anymore,
I knew you may vanish from my sight.

But I ask you a question,
Was I that bad a man?
Did I never support you?
Was I that hard to understand?
And when I need your call so badly,
You were nowhere to be seen,
You thought I wasn’t worth it,
Wasn’t my heart so clean?

(Shwadhin, April 12, 2011)

Numb

2011-04-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

As if the shadow was creeping in,
A better part of me just vanished away,
I promised to me a thousand time,
But I couldn't stop myself to stay,
A drop of tear fell on my cheek,
Then I knew all I felt wasn't a dream,
I could hear the silence all around,
So how could I not hear my own scream.

I paused but I couldn't fast forward,
I know few of these buttons of life work no more,
I looked myself in mirror so many times,
And I know I have lost everything to adore.

I speak but do they even mean anything?
I walk away but I know what night will bring,
It's hard when I don't understand how I feel,
I am numb but I still could feel the sting.

(Shwadhin, April 4th, 2011)

Paradise

2011-03-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

You don’t even know what you mean to me,
My need, not just my want, you’ve been to me,
I smile and see, life’s living worthwhile,
Whenever you want, you can lean to me.

I always wondered,
If there are more than one moon,
I always wondered,
If I asked love, way too soon,
I was just walking,
And I find this paradise,
You came and conquered,
And I find a reason to rise.

This is my time and I know it now,
You kissing my tongue, what a holy cow,
Give it to me all that you have in heart,
I will be with you, Oh that’s my vow.

Is there a way,
I could thank you more?
You make me alive,
Touching my heart’s core,
I won’t let this distance
Test my resilience,
As I have someone to look at me,
For what I promised before.

Crazy Heart

2011-03-20T22:20:00.000-07:00

Sometime it's hard to be yourself. It's hard to see what's going on, it's hard to see things not falling into places, and mostly, it's hard to see a part of you going away from you when you want it to stay there (for a while if not forever). Not always do you get what you want. Not always do you understand the decision of your heart. Ah, crazy heart.

I don't try to feel things always. I try to understand them. This might be the reason I always make mistakes. But then that's me. And I know whatever I do, wherever I stand and how down I am, I still feel you. I need you as I love you a lot. You are the only thing that colors my life. That too, wonderfully.

People always say I should be like 'him' or 'her'. But I think there is no reason I should be someone else. Simply put, there is no reason I should be someone else when I have something precious in life that no one else have. I have you. That's what makes me so strong, so different and probably much better than anyone else.

All these part of life will be there. All that matters in the end is whether we stick to each other at testing times or not. And I know we will.

Incomplete

2011-03-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

I try to pull it off again,
Somehow I can’t reprise,
The act of loving you,
Just takes me by surprise,
I fail, yes I fail,
And I know I fail too many times,
The dream of you that keeps me alive,
Still hovers in my eyes.

Ashes, sometime the heart is,
Moist, sometime the eyes are,
Tears, sometime they fall down,
You, the only thing that’s so far.

It's so incomplete,
To hear you but not have you,
I feel like a piece of shit,
To tear you but not have you,
Ah life's so unfair,
And I know how much I care,
To have you and to hold you tight,
To tell you that things are all right
....................
..................
(I want this poem to remain incomplete. Something are good incomplete. Like I, without you)

Prescriptions of Love

2011-03-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

I was looking at the sky,
I was thinking of the moon,
I was asking it to myself,
If I was late or way too soon?
I swindled my luck many times,
I took the road to hell,
I give a try to live my life,
And so many times I fail.

I was wilted, a little dry,
Dejected, deceived, faltered and shy,
I forgot to drive back home,
Until you came and give it a try,
You stayed, and I learned life,
You stayed, and I learned to thrive
I learned to fall down,
I learned to stand up,
I learned to express,
And I learned to love.

You came and I knew,
If there’s love, it should be you,
You said, I believed,
I died, I lived,
Opened my eyes,
And I can see,
Who I am now,
From what I used to be.

Oh your prescriptions of love,
Oh your presence,
Tender touch,
Devine existence,
Now each moment,
Is glowed with glory,
Here I am,
Telling you this story.

Why?

2011-03-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

Why do I have to choose between you and life?
Why can’t I get everything and anything right?
Why can’t I tell you that we can make it?
Why can’t I tell, in you I see my light?

Why do I fail, to know what you mean to me?
Why am I here, down on the floor crying on my knee?
Why can’t I leave everything behind and walk to you?
Why can’t I defeat the feeling of I and be ‘we’?

The spectrum of feelings
Burns me like fire,
I play with life,
And life’s a liar,
It lit up my today,
It shows me a dream,
It ain’t show the way,
And alone I scream.

Why can’t I fight,
The feeling of death?
And clutch the hope of,
Holding my breath,
Why can’t I win,
The feeling of loss?
And reach to you,
Who is waiting me across,
Why can't I tell you,
To wait for a while?
Smile in pressures,
And not wait for your exile,
Why can't I enjoy,
The music of heart?
Feel like you'r mine,
Beautiful part.

Burden

2011-03-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

Fallen down like I will never be able to stand up,
Pushed behind like I would never back myself,
Lost in dark, never to be found again,
Amazing failures, driving me insane.

Did you enjoy the sound of my broken heart?
Did you like the way I am falling apart?
Can you still see a dream of you in my eye?
Or do you think my love for you is still a lie?

Jaded, and you thought I was all faded,
Burden, I don’t know why you said it
But I wish I could still borrow,
Your heart at least for tomorrow.

The feeling of you in me will never be dying,
But you put your foot, where my heart was lying,
I just wanted you to stay and lean on me,
But well, the eyes are sore and they are crying.

Do you miss the moment we shared?
Don’t you miss the way I cared?
And I can’t pretend I am cool,
Without you, it all looks weird.

I will be a fool to let you go,
Without you, how can I even grow?
I am not dead yet baby,
I am just walking slow,
A little low,
A little low.

Burried Alive

2011-02-28T15:04:00.000-08:00

What is most important in life isn’t living but loving. I emailed her with this opening statement a while ago and here I am screaming at myself. True, I have no one at whom I can scream or show my anger. I am alone in this room with my blog in front of me. This darkness has never captivated me but I have some kind of strong connection and relationship with it. I can’t run or hide away from it. Not for a long, at least.

I saw so many dreams. Indeed, I changed many of my dreams for her. She did it too. Probably, we didn’t have the courage to accept each other’s honesty. We were never meant to be together. The burden of flying with each other’s expectation crashed us hard. Not that I am tired of trying again but just that never has any of our try brought any changes on us. I am tired of trying for failure.

It hurts. It hurts even more when I go to the mirror and see yourself as my reflection. I hate everything that I do now. I hate the way my songs has your words and your tunes and my heart still wants to hear your steps. Nothing will change for me. Not the way I love you, not the way I care for you and not the way my heart still pumps your name. But few things will change forever. We were ‘us’ and now we are apart. I can’t take it anymore and you clearly told me this relationship is but a burden for you.

Let’s applause for defying all the odds till this time and finally, giving people a reason to laugh on us. Our relationship changes color in one day and we are the biggest camouflaging couple. I will fall down many times before I could change my dreams again. I will fall down many times before I could chase my dreams again. I will falter many times as I start my new way.

But I know it’s hard to forget you, your face, your words, your touch, your tears and your childish joys. I will treasure them till I live. I know it will be equally difficult for you to forget how I used to push you for everything with or without your will, how I used to guide you, suggest you and how I used to cry when you used to go away. Today too, I wouldn’t shy to say that it’s hard to let you go. It’s harder to see my tears coming down and the feeling of loneliness is making me hapless. I have literally lost my ground, lost my words and lost my everything. All I have are memories and in all these memories you rule and you surround. You.

I don't know where I go from here or if I ever have the will to go ahead. My only friend is this blog where I vent my anger, my joys, my tears and my feelings. And the most wonderful thing is it listens me and doesn't leave me.

That's life. You live it broken sometime. You leave it broken many times. I hope you get the best of life. Keep smiling. Keep smiling baby.

Thank you,
Shwadhin

I lost you

2011-02-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

I know things are getting worst,
I just don’t know how worst,
I know I am being hurt,
I just don’t know how much,
I know you are going far away from me,
I just don’t know how far,
And I know my words are disappearing quietly,
But I hear the sounds of my broken heart,
I know the tears in your eyes aren’t stopping
And I know I am the reason behind it,
I know I hang up the phone so many times,
Now I feel that might be our last talk,
I know I said goodbye so many times,
But I feel that might just be our last one,
I know I used to have hope when I had nothing,
And now when I have everything, I lost my hope,
I know so many moments took my breath away,
But I feel this might be the last breath I am taking,
I know so many of these things,
But I just don’t know who I am and where I am.
I lost you.

I lost you on every fight.
I lost you on questions I put forward.
I lost you in every care I showed you.
I lost you.

Serendipity

2011-02-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time,
The sky was all I could see,
Growing up,
There is now you in me,
I have spread,
My wings to reach to you,
I take a vow,
I will put up all I could do,
I missed out,
So many smiles that you made,
I missed out,
So many of your speeding breath.

I take the blame,
Those tears should have never fallen,
I let you down,
That heart should have never swollen,
But here I am,
I am no more a hollow man,
I feel so good,
Growing up on your land,
I will fill it with joy,
Shall walk you all the way,
I will be your words,
When you have nothing to say,
I will simply treasure,
This beautiful proximity,
And I live my life,
In this pleasing serendipity.

Happy Valentine.

2011-02-13T14:37:00.000-08:00

I am self centric, egoistic, determined, aggressive, and most of the times irritating. She is self centric, egoistic, determined, aggressive and many of times irritating. We complement each other perfectly in that sense. I am social but private and selfish, I care about us and only ‘us’, and all I need is her. She is social, friendly and generous, she cares about everyone, and all she need is me and the people around. We are totally opposite in that sense. But we are together. Does it make sense? No? Not to me too. Yes we are together. Is it important? More than life. For both of us.

This is not a love story. This is a life’s story. Two life coming together to be one, leaving everything behind. I don’t know how I fall for her but then who can tell when beauty sweeps your feet. She did and now I can’t imagine my life without her. We fight so much that sometime I fail to remember when the last time we were not fighting was. We cry so much that I fail to understand when the last time we were smiling. We fail to remember and understand much of these things. But there is this one thing we never forget and fail to understand and that is, to be with each other almost every single second of our day.

Sometime, we hang up the phone as if we don’t need each other. Sometime we promise not to come back again to see each other. And in all these ‘sometimes’ I mistake the noise of the wind as her foot step, the sound of the wind chime as the ring on my phone by her, and the drop of the waters on my shoulder as her touch. In all those dark hours of our fight, l still mistake to see every beauty that I feel as the beauty of her. Though I say her I don’t need her anymore, I secretly wish that she stays with me by giving me a tight hug.

On this day of valentine, I would like to wish her through my words. They say valentine is a day where you make your better half feel so special. And I believe that every day is a valentine for me as she makes me feel special every single day. I owe this to you: My Heart filled with love. Come, Grab it.

There are times when you stop. You see. You feel. And then you feel a need to change yourself for better and a need to adjust yourself for her. You leave behind your perfections to adore her stupidity and laugh your ass off. You have to do it once in a while if not always.

I realize time has changed so much. Life has got few different colors some of which I may not like but I wouldn’t mind having them. The story of the life has also changed. Sometime sweetly and sometime sourly. And so has the story of this heart. I had a heart. Now I have two. In case one fails, the other will keep me alive. Thank you for joining this bandwagon. Thank you for making me complete. I always believed that love is the only medicine that can cure me. Now I believe that YOUR love is the only medicine that can cure me.

Thanks for enlarging my heart and letting me embrace love. Happy Valentine.

Parting the ways

2011-01-31T08:17:00.000-08:00

A day in life comes when you suddenly realize that life isn't what you think. You fight to survive and keep hopes floating. But it doesn't work.

It's time to say goodbye to this blog. To all the people who supported this blog by visiting it, I say a big thank you. But this is where it ends. A part of me will die with this blog. I might be opening up a new blog or a website in the years to come but only time will tell anything more about it.

Jan 31, 2011. Here is the end. Feb 1, 2011 will give a change to my expressions.

Over and Out

2011-01-28T12:23:00.000-08:00

When everything looks so fucked up,
And the sky, doesn't look like the roof with love,
When the heart fails to make me realize I'm alive,
And the tears of my eyes hardly stop,
When the flowers seem astonishingly ugly,
And you don’t know where is right and where is left,
When the heat of your body seems to fire the log,
And my love for you, seems so inept.

At all those time, my god leaves me alone,
My loves goes for a ride, never to come back home,
Why can’t I believe in love and smile for a while,
Why can’t I live in you and not be fragile,
My sublime life is but a void without you,
But it was coming, and I had the clue,
I waited for love but I had no chance,
And I still love you, though a bitter romance.

This is my heart and once it was yours,
We had our ego and it had no cures,
It’s hard to believe but I will let you go,
What I will be missing, I think I know,
You were the one, and you will always remain,
Ask yourself, what did you gain.

(Shwadhin, Jan 28, 2011)

Failure

2011-01-16T21:52:00.000-08:00

I just lost my words,
I just lost my way,
I just lost a reason to smile
Or to stay.

I just lost my hope,
I just lost my sky,
I wish I could stop it,
I wish I know why.

I am not a moon,
Not as good as you.
But I have a heart,
That it cries is true.

I am not a flower,
Nor do I have a thorn.
Never thought in life,
That I will walk alone.

Oh, how hard is this failure?
Oh why is it so cruel?
My heart was your kingdom,
And you're the one to rule.

I always saw a dream,
Where you were my only queen,
And now when you are gone,
Nothing’s left to win.

(Shwadhin, Jan 17, 2011)

Back to Basics

2011-01-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

It’s been the 'week' that hasn’t been mine in anyway. I have lost the courage to stand up and fight. I have lost the courage to hold people’s tears and apologize. I have lost the courage to call back and say how much I love you. It’s been week that has made me weaker and fragile.

It’s not that I never learned the lesson. I did and I tried to pick the pieces and solve the puzzle. I tried but what I wanted to achieve was miles away from me. Blame on me as I am good in nothing. Not in love. Not in living life.

My mum used to say me that my ego will burn me someday. I realize that she was right. My sister always says why I want to be isolated and different. I wish I know the reason behind it. My father never asked me a question as he knew he will not get the answer he wants to hear. They were all perfect. It was me who was the odd man out. I kept on searching happiness rather than being happy with what I have.

Am I that bad that I don’t know how to live life? Am I that bad that I have started losing everyone? Am I that bad that I want to lose everyone? May be I am. I truly have forgotten how to enjoy life. I have forgotten what it means to be with your loved one and how to have them with me forever. I no more have the patience to hear arguments. And mostly, I enjoy the silence of my room as this is the only place that hears my all problem, my all frustrations and my all arguments. My obsession with myself continues.

I am losing hope. I am losing life. It's time for me to get back to the basics of lie before I lose my everything. Truly said by somebody that life is a bitch that bites you in your own game. My problem was, I didn’t even start my part of the game.

Goodbye, everyone.

Life

2011-01-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

Just behind the doors that you slammed,
There was a heart that crashed,
Just behind your footsteps that left me,
Were my dreams smashed,
Just inside the tears that dropped,
There was a smile that was lost,
It was all broken inside,
It wasn’t just a matter of trust.

You didn’t understand me,
And I wish I could appreciate your view,
What’s the use of this love then?
Why can’t we start it fresh and new?

You got a wing,
Why don’t you fly?
I will carry on our story,
I promise, I wouldn’t cry,
I wish this road never had an end,
I wish when I fall, you could lend me your hand.

And I can never pull it off
This second story of life,
The first half started with you,
And it ended on the edge of knife.

This ain’t an end,
You will live in me,
And I will put a smile,
For the world to see.