Extraordinary Success Education

Let's Express Some ENTHUSIASM !!!

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:26:00 +0000

“Generating enthusiasm (from the Greek en theos -- with God) intellectually is challenging because God or spirit can only be experienced, not understood.”

Robert White

Long time readers of Extraordinary Minutes know that I’m a big fan of enthusiasm being fully expressed. It engages your body, mind and spirit and puts you in the ideal resource state for living an extraordinary life.

I did a radio interview about leadership recently and was asked about leading during a time of economic contraction. My theme included the need for more “cheerleading” by leaders and I was challenged by the host’s limiting belief that “not everyone is wired to be a cheerleader.”

I was probably more abrupt than he expected from a guest when I said, “how the leader is wired may be a reality but it is insufficient as an excuse. Leading is as much about energy as anything else and sharing your enthusiasm for your role, your family, your community or nation – YOUR LIFE – is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. Plus sometimes it’s an obligation of leadership.”

Please share your perspective on enthusiasm and even any favorite excuses for “being cool” by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Special holiday price reduction! Order "Living an Extraordinary Life" before December 10, 2010 and pay only $15.95 each including shipping and handling. Or, order the “Eight Power Principles” Home Study Program at the special price of $210 and receive the book as a bonus gift. ORDER NOW!

Generating enthusiasm intellectually is challenging because spirit can only be experienced, not understood.

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:44:00 +0000

“Generating enthusiasm (from the Greek en theos -- with God) intellectually is challenging because God or spirit can only be experienced, not understood.”

Robert White

Long time readers of Extraordinary Minutes know that I’m a big fan of enthusiasm being fully expressed. It engages your body, mind and spirit and puts you in the ideal resource state for living an extraordinary life.

I did a radio interview about leadership recently and was asked about leading during a time of economic contraction. My theme included the need for more “cheerleading” by leaders and I was challenged by the host’s limiting belief that “not everyone is wired to be a cheerleader.”

I was probably more abrupt than he expected from a guest when I said, “how the leader is wired may be a reality but it is insufficient as an excuse. Leading is a much about energy as anything else and sharing your enthusiasm for your role, your family, your community or nation – YOUR LIFE – is one of the greatest gifts you can give anyone. Plus sometimes it’s an obligation of leadership.”

Please share your perspective on enthusiasm and even any favorite excuses for “being cool” by leaving a comment on this blog.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Special holiday price reduction! Order "Living an Extraordinary Life" before December 10, 2010 and pay only $15.95 each including shipping and handling. Or, order the “Eight Power Principles” Home Study Program at the special price of $210 and receive the book as a bonus gift. ORDER NOW!

Robert White is a skilled and powerful executive coach, professional leadership trainer and public speaker who works with people and organizations that want more success, joy and fulfillment. He is an experienced serial entrepreneur, author of a best-selling book, traveler (visitor to 33 countries and resident in 3), father to eight children and committed to doing his part in ending child abuse and neglect.

To retain Robert, talk about any of this or anything else, or just say hello, you can call Robert White direct at (303) 993-4640 or e-mail him at Robert@ExtraordinaryPeople.com.

Gratitude in Words and Deeds

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 17:22:00 +0000

“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.”

Theodore Roosevelt

I’m hearing from friends and clients worldwide that they are facing economic challenges beyond anything they’ve ever experienced. It’s a tough time for many of us.

As we celebrate the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving, perhaps this is an excellent time to remind ourselves to express gratitude for our many blessings. Even though there are more than enough stresses in our busy lives, we are blessed beyond measure.

Ultimately we are social beings. Our families, friends and colleagues support and nourish us so find a time over the next few days to say “Thank You. Thank you for the gift you are in my life.” And, following President Roosevelt’s counsel, find a family in need or a local charity to support with your hands or by opening your wallet!

My friend the late John Denver wrote (and sang) following his experience of one of our seminars...

The gift you are, like the very first breath of spring
The gift you are, all the joy that love can bring
The gift you are, all of our dreams come true
The gift you are, the gift of you

You and your support are a gift to me and I am profoundly grateful. Thank you!

With love and respect,

Robert

Do you Hold People Accountable for Keeping Commitments or Communicating Directly and Honestly?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 20:25:00 +0000

“When I hold you accountable with direct, even seemingly brutal honesty, I’m being a true friend, a great boss or a committed parent.” Robert White

A challenge for many people is either holding people – family, colleagues, vendors – accountable for their commitments OR communicating directly and honestly...OR BOTH!

This is a key consciousness and skill set that everyone in a leadership role absolutely must gain a level of mastery and then consistently and powerfully “do it.” No denial. No excuses. No delay.

My experience with myself and with my executive coaching clients conclusively proves that the source of this reluctance to holding people accountable and telling the truth is rooted in dysfunctional belief systems and projections. It is “old stuff” that may have been useful or at least understandable in our history but no longer serves us.

Clearing the past is a challenging, necessary and ultimately freeing exercise in living an extraordinary life and creating extraordinary results.

Please share your perspective on accountability and truth telling by posting a comment.

With love and respect,
Robert

P. S. Robert’s book “Living an Extraordinary Life” is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

The Circle of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 17:39:00 +0000

“Look around you. The trees, flowers, birds, every animal and insect; every living thing. It’s miraculous. And it is all going to die. You will too, and so will all of those you love. The time will come when you will have to say good-bye to people. You don't know when. It could be tomorrow or next week. Yet, we live as if it will never happen. We get angry with our children or our partner, then leave for the day or longer, forgetting that if something terrible were to befall them, our last words would have been words of resentment and frustration, not love. And we would have to find a way to live with that.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White

I acknowledge this is a bold statement. I meant it when I wrote it and still do. Your responses are actively solicited -- comment below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Who Comes First ... You or The Tribe?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 16:00:00 +0000

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay the privilege of owning yourself.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

I was going to write this but Nietzsche beat me to it. (It’s an old, tired line but I couldn’t resist using it.)

Observing my children go through their adolescent years – each in their own, unique way – served as a constant reminder that a key aspect of our journey through life is learning to own ourselves, to develop into a truly independent being. They’ve fortunately been great examples of that maturing process and I am so very proud of each of them.

My strong belief is that only by being truly independent, can we connect powerfully and purposely to others. Attempting to be “part of” something bigger while secretly wanting approval and to somehow complete ourselves is a fool’s errand.

It’s my intention that these weekly missives contribute to readers’ continuing growth and development. If you agree, please forward this message to your network and suggest they subscribe.

Feedback is always welcome--please comment below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Robert’s book “Living an Extraordinary Life” is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

Grey Twilight or Glorious Triumph: It's Your Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:32:00 +0000

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt

While I’m not a fan of Teddy’s politics, I so admire his zest for life and he said it so well in this quote.

I feel so blessed to work with clients committed to “dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs.” Their clarity, courage and commitment inspire me and bring me hope for the future of our planet.
Please share the “mighty things” that you are committed to by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Conflict: Do You Run or Hide?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 15:30:00 +0000

“Only in the center of the storm is it calm. But it takes courage to go there.”

Tom Crum from “Journey to Center”

I organize my quotes by subject and I just realized that almost all of my selections on the important subject of conflict are from master teacher and author Tom Crum.

This is one of those quotes that deserves re-reading, some reflection and reading it again. Tom’s metaphors for much of his work come from his dedicated practice of Aikido, the Japanese martial art that is often translated as “the way of harmonious spirit.” He’s like a ten thousandth degree black belt or something like that.

It is counter-intuitive and just plain scary to go to “the center of the storm.” Yet truly that’s where lasting solutions to conflict lie.

What’s your latest conflict … or are you avoiding one? Let us know by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Can You Sit Quietly?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 15:11:00 +0000

"All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."

Blaise Pascal

This is one of my personal favorite quotes. And, as always, it attracts me because I so clearly need to follow its wise counsel.

Whether through prayer or meditation or a walk in the woods or along the beach, it is so important to regularly make time for listening to God or our inner voice.

What’s your practice? Living an extraordinary life requires one.

With love and respect,

Robert

Should Leaving a Relationship Require Severance Pay?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 15:49:00 +0000

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

Bob Ettinger

It felt like a good day to “lighten up” and I’m appreciative of Bob Ettinger’s wit and wisdom about intimate relationships.

One of my young adult children “got dumped” by a first love earlier this year – I’m definitely not naming names here. The pain was obvious and though I felt privileged to be included in some honest sharing, I also was frustrated that I couldn’t offer much more than “time heals.”

The aspect of Buddhism that is most interesting to me is the emphasis on compassion. Whether it is ending a relationship, firing an employee or dealing with an overstressed waitperson or flight attendant, let’s all work to be more compassionate. It’s one of the ways we can all contribute to a world that works for all. Your stories are welcomed by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Since We "Shall not pass this way again" .....

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 05:45:00 +0000

"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness or abilities that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

William Penn

Many people are experiencing really challenging times right now and it occurs to me that we should all take note of Penn’s words and, more importantly, act on them. Our friends, relatives, colleagues and the bigger world need our caring and committed participation.

Shortly after my friend John Denver’s untimely death, our mutual friend Judy Hill shared the following with me:

"The first time I heard John Denver sing in person was in front of the old Aspen post office in 1970. He was standing hidden inside a cardboard freezer carton he had painted to look like a juke box. You could put a donation in the slot to Touchstone, the free local mental health clinic and choose your song. He and his guitar would go into action!"

I learned later that at that time, John wasn't famous, wasn't rich and was simply doing what he could for a cause he believed in – building a new clinic. In his case, doing what he could was to SING ... and in so doing, he made his unique contribution. In the 11 years of our friendship, again and again I witnessed him "doing what he could." The John Denver concerts we sponsored for The Adoption Exchange, the Aspen Camp for the Deaf, Give Kids the World and the One World One People Foundation were only possible because of John's willingness to greatly discount his fee and then do all the advance promotional work without charge.

He was and is a powerful influence and model of love in action for my life ... and for many others. Please share your commitments to share what you can by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Of Course "You're Right!"

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 15:46:00 +0000

“Our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments are, simply put, our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments. They are not universal truths.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life” by Robert White

I received some feedback in my recent reader survey that objected to my practice of not commenting whenever I quote myself. So here goes...

Our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments are, simply put, our attitudes, opinions, beliefs and judgments. They are not universal truths.

Alright, I admit I’m being a bit snarky here but I really did say what I wanted to say when I wrote the book. (available signed and inscribed at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com)

This thought is connected to one of the most commented on chapters in “Living an Extraordinary Life,” the one about our overwhelming need to “be right.” It’s a relationship and team accomplishment killer which gets in the way of success at every level.

Complaints and comments welcome by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Robert’s book is now available for only $9.99 on Kindle http://tinyurl.com/29u8265 and for almost every digital reader (iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, etc.) including your computer at http://tinyurl.com/2azpjqq

Inscribed and signed hard copies are always available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com.

A Leap in the Dark

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 23:06:00 +0000

"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success."

Henry David Thoreau

Our thinking mind—at least the conscious part—is the source of our uniqueness as a human being. It can also be our enemy when confronted with risk, especially the risks we know we must take in order to achieve extraordinary results.

I read Seth Godin’s blog regularly (http://sethgodin.typepad.com/) and he often refers to the negative effects possible when we act out of our “lizard brain.” You know, that reptilian monster overly concerned with survival and seemingly oblivious to our purpose, vision, values and goals.

My biggest risks taken have led to incredible satisfaction, joy and success: moving from Green Bay to Milwaukee, New York, San Francisco, Tokyo, Denver, Aspen, back to Tokyo then Hong Kong and back to the USA. Changing careers at 27. Getting married (all right, that didn’t turn out too well) and having children (that turned out very well). All of that represented a “leap in the dark” and required that I quiet my lizard brain.

My seminar and executive coaching experience is that at some level we all know “what’s next” for us in our personal, professional and community involvement lives. What often stops us is fear of the dark.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and perhaps how you bring light to the subject by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Genius or Hard Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:00:00 +0000

“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.”

Joseph Joubert

Recently I’ve been reading a lot about marketing in the 21st Century. Included are contrasting opinions on that plain old four letter word ….. work!

In his book “The Four-Hour Workweek” Timothy Ferris essentially lobbies against work. In a Success Magazine audio interview, wine guy (and huge marketing success story) Gary Vaynerchuk says the opposite: that only long days and lots of them will bring success.

Who’s right? Like one of my favorite philosophers, Forrest Gump, famously said, “a little of both?”

Certainly we can benefit from Ferriss’s counsel to focus only on high value added activities and delegate the rest. That said, I really have never seen an example of extraordinary success that did not include lots of hard work. If you’re doing what you love and are 100% committed to, it might not seem like work, but the hours and days necessary for great results are still required.

As always, your feedback (if you can fit it in while working hard …. or not) is welcome by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

How's Your Stuff?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:27:00 +0000

"He had somehow lost that human touch, and he gradually dried up. What he had done in his life had perhaps haunted him."

From Quantum of Solace by Ian Fleming

Executives with whom I’ve had the privilege to coach for performance often comment that the initial work we do on “completing their past” is key to the extraordinary results they create later in the relationship.

What a friend refers to as the “normally neurotic” person …. in other words, you and me …. tend to carry with us the unnecessary burdens of past blame, shame, regret, guilt and even success. We attempt to launch ourselves into a future freely chosen; yet we’re weighted down with all that – time for a technical term here – “stuff.”

Our past hopefully includes experiences that provide great memories and lead to greater wisdom. Anything else—especially that “stuff”—should be looked at as just that, the past, and just let it go.

Please share your stories of “stuff let go” and what it meant to creating a better future by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Do You Have Reasons or Results?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:11:00 +0000

“People who take responsibility for all they create are able to quickly sort truth from fiction in their lives, and in the communication they're receiving from those around them, by using the simple litmus test of “based on results.” Wishing and hoping, reasons and excuses will never tell you the truth. If you say you intend to have a happy marriage, have you got one? If you say you want to earn a degree from a good university, have you done it? If you say you want ten million dollars, do you have it? If you don't have what you say you want, then how come?

You've either got the results you say you want, or you have reasons to explain why not. Developing a rigorous and honest relationship with results moves you powerfully toward creating your extraordinary life.”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White

Wow! That guy can really communicate! You can bust my ego and bring me back to humility by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

Who Believes in You?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 03:03:00 +0000

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s get some acknowledgements out there immediately: Alan, Bob and Judith, John and Mike, Julia, Kathy, Dan, another Mike, Jim (2 of them!), Tami, David, Chris (2 more!), Kevin, Lance, Karen, Ron, Bill, Rick, Kate, Herb, Wilson and Joyce … THANK YOU! For believing in me and for being true friends.

So who do you need to thank? And who needs to thank you because of the belief in them that you often express?

Gratitude and celebration welcome by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Have You Put a Dollar in the Change Machine?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 22:10:00 +0000

“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.”

George Carlin

I’ve been pretty serious in recent Extraordinary Minutes so these words from the dearly missed George Carlin seem appropriate. Of course, like so much of his humor, he always made us think about the human condition.

True and meaningful, useful, even transformational change is easily talked about yet one of the most difficult challenges in our lives. We hold on to old identities, structures and attitudes ferociously. We vigorously defend what has never worked for us. Even more insidiously, we defend what has worked for us in the past and is no longer adequate to current circumstances and future possibilities.

All right—I know I’ve taken this light-hearted quote and become very serious about it. You can complain or comment below! And please share with your friends!

With love and respect,

Robert

How Do You Grow Old?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 06:31:00 +0000

"Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul."

Samuel Ullman

Examples abound of “mature” folks who inspire and delight us; who add to our lives in countless ways.

The differentiator is often simple enthusiasm—for the opportunities, challenges, people, places, everything in their lives.

It’s a choice we all face many times daily and choosing to be enthusiastic and to look for circumstances that create enthusiasm is key to living an extraordinary life.

And let me know how you express your enthusiasm by commenting below!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. Congratulations to those who "got through" and ordered my home study program "Eight Principles" with the special $100 reduction in price (normal retail $195) and apologies to those who attempted to order it and couldn't "get through." We haven't figured out why the e mail link worked for some and not others -- so we've extended the offer one week and ask that you e mail me direct, tell me you want the program and I'll personally take care of everything: robert@extraordinarypeople.com

Leadership and Creativity

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 07:43:00 +0000

“There are two ways of being creative. One can sing and dance. Or one can create an environment in which singers and dancers flourish.”

Warren Bennis

Professor Bennis is one of my favorite authorities on leadership—I’ve stolen material from him unashamedly which I consider to be the highest compliment I can pay to a thought leader.

I’ve founded and led two training industry success stories: Lifespring and ARC International. Looking back, I feel a lot of pride and a little regret. Regret that I was not able to build companies that last, that continue to serve people and employ great staff. Pride that our seminars positively impacted the lives of over one million graduates.

It’s a longer story than what fits in this format however one leadership strength that played out in my companies was that I did everything I could to “create an environment” wherein our trainers, consultants, enrollment staff and administrators could flourish—and they did.

In your family, your company, your community, you have that opportunity. Are the people around you dancing? Your thoughts are encouraged--share them by commenting below.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. To celebrate the many thoughtful responses to my recent reader survey, there's a special offer until July 30th on my "Eight Principles" home study program. Eight CDs plus an Owner's Manual, this powerful program normally sells for $195, for the next ten days just $95 including shipping and handling. Just e mail sales@extraordinarypeople.com and we'll send you a PayPal invoice you can pay with any credit or debit card.

'Pie in the Sky' ... or Reality?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:06:00 +0000

“Once we have experienced the unity and interconnectedness of all things, love is no longer the commandment, but the natural expression of our own essence. It will no longer appear as an action required of us, but as the way of being of transpersonal existence. I’m aware that this might sound a bit pie-in-the-sky for some people. Nevertheless, coexistence worthy of our humanity will remain impossible as long as we fail to experience this reality.”

Willigis Jaeger

The best comment I can make about this quote is to suggest that you read it again … and perhaps a third time. In the busy-ness of life it is of value to simply sit with some thoughts and consider that beyond our jobs, our families and trips to the market, we are here on this planet for a higher purpose.

There! I said it! Let the comments flow!

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. To celebrate the many thoughtful responses to my recent reader survey, there's a special offer until July 30th on my "Eight Principles" home study program. Eight CDs plus an Owner's Manual, this powerful program normally sells for $195, for the next ten days just $95 including shipping and handling. Just e mail sales@extraordinarypeople.com and we'll send you a PayPal invoice you can pay with any credit or debit card.

Truth and Consequences

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:51:00 +0000

”The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.”

Gloria Steinem

The language is a little “raw” however the woman knows how to make a point.

About a million years ago a formative experience in my life was attending the Mind Dynamics seminar and eventually becoming President of the company. One of many learnings from MDI founder and my teacher, the late Alexander Everett, was that “awareness is a bitch.”

I know, I know …. more inappropriate language.

One of our many choices in life is whether we are willing, on a moment to moment basis, to tell the truth about our current reality. After any possible irritating moment, the truth will, in fact, set you free.

When coaching leaders, I notice that one of the ways I best serve them is when I help them see their truth, their organization’s current reality. It is, as daughter Alicia says, “way fun.”

What’s your truth for the moment? Let us know with your comments below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Perspective is Everything!

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:44:00 +0000

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

This unattributed little story is a departure from my “quote plus comment” pattern. I really liked the story and thought you’d enjoy it.

It points out that our perspective is just that—our perspective. What we see when watching others is dependent on the clarity of the window through which we look.

Comments are welcome below!

With love and respect,

Robert

Mad a Few Mistakes Lately?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:44:00 +0000

“Everything we enjoy in society is a direct result of the accumulated learning derived from millions of mistakes. No mistakes, no progress. Yet we still look at making a mistake as embarrassing, wrong, an act bordering on sin. If you’re making mistakes, it means you’re doing new things, taking risks, stretching yourself. You’re growing, learning. And isn't the journey, the experience, not the destination, what life is all about?”

from “Living an Extraordinary Life”
by Robert White

My practice is to refrain from commenting on quotes from my book! Of course, you can comment below.

Signed and inscribed copies of the book for yourself or as a welcomed gift are available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com

And, the Kindle edition is available from Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/23trcay

With love and respect,

Robert

Can You Be Mad, Sad, Glad or Afraid?

noreply@blogger.com (Robert White) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:27:00 +0000

“One loses the capacity to grieve as a child grieves, or to rage as a child rages: hotly, despairingly, with tears of passion. One grows up, one becomes civilized, on learns one’s manners, and consequently can no longer manage these two functions—sorrow and anger—adequately.”

Anita Brookner

The old saying “we teach what we most need to learn” is often cited in training and executive coaching circles. It’s certainly true for me in this subject I keep coming back to in these weekly offerings: learning to recapture and expand as a responsible adult my ability to express what I really feel.

I usually reference my mentor Bob Wright of the Wright Institute in Chicago when exploring the value of becoming more literate in the language of feelings. This week I’ll reference my children, Emily and Levi. Recently we’ve been in conversation about their desire to contact their birth mother for the first time—and it may happen this summer.

A useful question when exploring feelings is “are you mad, sad, glad or afraid?” When I apply it to myself around these recent conversations I notice that what surfaces is my old anger about their birth mom’s behavior; my sadness at some of the pain they’ve endured; my joy erupting as I notice how they are maturing and growing as young adults; and my fear that the possible encounter will not go well for them.

The learning point for me—and I offer it to you for consideration—is that when we heighten our awareness about what we are feeling, when we ask that question about being mad, sad, glad or afraid, the answers are often complex and immensely valuable in our journey toward living an extraordinary life. Comments please.

With love and respect,

Robert

P. S. My “seminar in a box,” an 8 CD plus Owner’s Manual program about building a life of meaning and abundance is available at http://www.ExtraordinaryBook.com