- Eyes And Ears -

Exploration, Rest & Relaxation

2012-05-04T13:38:00.001-05:00

Over the past few days I have had the wonderful privilege of making memories and capturing joyous moments with some of my dearest friends and loved ones. Below, you will find some of those moments frozen in time and displayed unlimitedly for all to share in our enjoyment.

Due to the fact that school is over for the year, Dara (my girlfriend) was albe to come back to Asheville, NC with me for a few days before returning to her home town. While she has been here, there has been innumerable occasions for laughter, sadness, anxiety, and love. We have explored, gone out to eat together, shopped downtown, visited the Biltmore Estate, gone shooting at a range, and had dinner with the extensions of my family. All in all, the time that we have shared together over the past few days has been refreshing and exhilarating. God has so blessed me with a girlfriend, family, and friends who love me tenderly and compassionately. I feel overwhelmed by the happiness and comfort that I gain when I spend time in their presence.

The first photos you will see are from a Goodwill photo shoot that Dara and I fashioned one afternoon before heading home. (Just so you know, it was supposed to be an ugly photo shoot- so it is intentional that our outfits look hideous) The photos following that will be from our adventures at the Biltmore House.

I hope that you enjoy them as much as we did.

Thanks for reading! I do very much appreciate your loyalty and dedication to listening intently to my heart and mind as ascribed on this blog.

Spanx

At the Request of my Dearest Dara...

2012-04-24T07:48:00.000-05:00

I am writing…

As many of you know, I am in a serious relationship with Dara Robertson, AKA the Love of my Life. Due to the fact that my blog has not been updated in quite some time, she has been slightly to severely disappointed that she can no longer read new material from my ever so interesting mind. Upon hearing of her sadness, I too was troubled and saddened as any good boyfriend would be. It is my goal to change that.

So Dara, this one goes out to you. I love you with all of my heart!

Mornings are always better when they aren’t so scheduled. Today, my roommate Dylan woke up earlier than usual. He could not sleep for some reason. His early rising led to my early rising. Deciding not to go get breakfast because of the accompanied requirement of getting dressed, we concluded that playing a game together would be best. I had an hour and a half to kill anyways.

After the game, I got dressed, looked super fly as usual, and walked out the door. As much as I wanted to go to the cafeteria for breakfast, the leftover cookie from Starbucks last night seemed just as appetizing. As a result, my cookie was then devoured, thus leaving me with still 30 minutes before class. Ahah! Chick-fil-A is open this time of the morning. I might as well go get a biscuit of goodness while I can before I get to eat lunch at 11 or 12 today. SO that is exactly what I did. Now I’m sitting in the computer lab, munching on a chicken biscuit and writing for my beloved.

She has juries today, meaning that she has to sing pretty much perfectly in front of a panel of judges that judge her every note and line. Pretty stressful huh? I feel for her and am praying for her continuously. She is completely capable of rocking their socks way off and then slapping them in the face with them. I know she will do well because she’s just that amazing and her voice is like that of a goddess. I just wish I could be there to see her shine!

Today should be pretty relaxed for the most part. The sad thing is that I still have classes to go to even though we will not be learning jack squat in them –_– so stupid… oh well! After that I get to hang with my best guy friend, and after that I get to hang with my best girlfriend! Super excited!!!! Hopefully her juries go well so that she will be in a fantastic mood and I can get and receive some real good lovin’. PG13 lovin at the most

Well, that’s about all the time I have for now. Hope this brightens your day sweetheart! I love you!!!!

Meet William

2012-03-09T20:15:00.003-06:00

Today, as I was walking around Downtown Asheville, I had the opportunity to make a bench buddy. While taking a load off, I was able to talk to this gentleman and find out a little bit more about him…

William is an 80-something year old man. He recently left his home state of California to make his way to the mountains of Western North Carolina. He hitch-hiked all the way here. Everything that he has was given to him. In fact, I gave him the furry jean jacket he is wearing. All he had with him was a backpack, bought by a couple from Walmart, and a sleeping bag, handed down to him from some guy in a pickup truck. The little speck of food stuck in his beard? Yeah, some lady just brought him a sandwich and 5 grapes. What is more interesting is what was given to him that you can’t see. Under all those layers of clothing, William has a pacemaker sticking out of his chest. William has Congestive Heart Failure and struggles with arryhthmia. He has 4 stents in his chest.

Ah!! That’s why he’s here! He is here to see the doctors at Asheville Cardiology Associates to get his pacemaker checked. Right? ACA is the one of the best in the business and it’s no more than a few miles down the road! NO. William is not here for that. He can’t afford to have any more work done. In fact, the doctors he has seen have all told him that he doesn’t have much longer to live. William is dying.

“I left California a few weeks ago. I didn’t wanna die there… so here I am. Brother, I can’t even get into the shelter down the way. They won’t take me cause they’re afraid I’ll conk out on ‘em. I’ve got my sleepin’ bag though, so I reckon I’ll just sleep out here tonight; but hey, I won’t get cold now with this here jacket! Man, I sure do appreciate it brother.”

Born in East Tennessee, he spent a good many days in Cumberland around the Tennessee River. We got to talking about where I come from and where I’m at now. I found out that we knew a lot of the same roads in Tennessee, so I told him about the small college that I go to around where he grew up. He asked me what I was studying, and I told him I was studying Intercultural Studies so that I can do missions work around the world.

That opened the door for me to ask him if he had any faith and if he believed in Jesus Christ.

“Well, I used to go to church a long time ago… but I don’t go no more. That was some time ago. You know what, I heard about one of the deacons in the church had gone and molested some little girl. I said, ‘if that’s the way they’re gonna act, I don’t want no part of none of that!’ So I said I’d never go back to that church, and I never have been back in church since then.”

I then proceeded to explain to him that, as you know, nobody (in or out of the church) is perfect- that we’re all sinners. I told him that I’m a Christian and I’m not perfect. He agreed that nobody was. I told him that sure, it was wrong for that guy to do what he did, but that being a Christian doesn’t mean you’re never going to screw up again. I assured him that even if he was in church, he would still fail to meet God’s expectations; but God, if we confess our sins, is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God can even forgive that man back in that church he went to so long ago.

I asked him if he was opposed to going to church again. He returned to this thought:

“Well, I ain’t got much time left to live. I’m not sure it would do anythin’ for me. But, nah… I ain’t got a problem goin I guess. Just haven’t done it.”

As a Christian, what would you do next?

I don’t know about you, but all I know is he’ll be in church with me this Sunday.

I miss you buddy.

2012-03-05T23:57:00.002-06:00

This wonderful man allowed the world to love and appreciate the simple things. I have looked up to and learned from him in many ways, as he has been a silent inspiration in my personal life. This simple poem was written by Jimmy Stewart in loving memory of a long time companion.

This is something similar I wrote.
(For my dog, Wrigley)

Your breath was quick and constant;
Your heart could count the time.

You never said you loved me,
Yet you were always mine.

You’d lie up high, there in my lap;
Or down below, beside you sat.

We ran together, played together, rolled together, stayed together.

You were my friend, my love, my companion-

You were my therapist, my doctor, my guardian, my silence, my kleenex, my mentor, my guide, my trainer, my partner in crime, my wingman, my way in, my way out, my way out and about, my comforter, my blanket, my home away from home.

You were my friend, my love, my companion.

Your eyes were strong and sure.
Your heart was warm and pure.

Your legs took us everywhere,
And loved a good detour.

I’d scratch your back and give you some pats,
And you’d never leave me when we took our naps.

I miss your nose. I miss your ears.
I miss your startling, and all your fears.

I miss your wandering without cause.
I miss your fur and all four paws.

But most of all… I miss your voice.
Silent or loud, you spoke to me.

No mutts or hounds, whether bought or found,
Could ever match your love profound.

But now you’re buried in the ground
And when I call, you’re not around.

I can look and search and call all day,
But I know you haven’t run away.

I wish beside me you’d come and lay,
Or come and find me, sit and stay.

You’re not here anymore, but that’s okay.
I’ll always miss and love you anyway.

You were my friend, my love, my companion.

I Miss You.

The Mocking Ore

2012-03-01T15:44:00.000-06:00

Streaking stripes arrest my gaze.
They lie stagnant; motionless; silent.
Bleached blocks fill their chasms with void space.
Tall walls of brick build boundaries to contain the great nothing.
Triplet tunnels table-torn mine relief from The Mocking Ore.

“Fill me. Fight me!
Leave me or line me.
Stain me. Sign me!
Flee me or find thee!”

-this is the tone that rings from the mouth of The Mocking Ore.

To My Old Door Mat

2012-02-27T13:29:00.003-06:00

You are severely unappreciated.
Your folds and crevasses are now worn and lumpy.
Your original crisp form is now crimped and creased.

You have been stepped on, scuffed up and sullied by the nasties of this world. You’ve been pushed into corners and trapped against walls by the harsh door you are so eternally married to. You are torn and tattered; your hairs are mangled now. You are stained by mud and drowned in water on a regular basis. Boarding restrictions do not provide you any protection from the cruelty of time and nature.

You are beaten down every day, but you have no legs to walk away. You remain. You serve all who enter into your abode and wish them well as they leave without ever acknowledging your hospitality.

Thanks for always being there for me, old friend.

I do not deserve you.

On Being Used

2012-02-27T10:17:00.000-06:00

At what point do I draw the line?
When can I say “enough is enough?”

I am too unselfish. I am used
I am too forgiving. I am taken advantage of.

I am my father’s child.
What would he do?
When would he call it quits, pull up anchor and leave?

I am my Father’s child.
What would He do?
When would self-sacrifice and servitude turn to suffering self-inflicted?

I am at an impasse.

Satire about Satire?

2012-02-26T01:55:00.001-06:00

Is it possible to write a successful essay or narrative (anything really) concluding that satire is incapable of effectively establishing an argument?

Hmmmm…

Your Smell Lingers (unwanted)

2012-02-25T23:41:00.000-06:00

your smell fills my mind with disgust. it squeezes my throat till I cough, wishing to forget your revolting memory. i cant cleanse the room; i cant rid my heart of your smell.

i cant spit you out. i cant cover you up with a fine fragrance. you linger here- unwanted and relentless. my mind says ignore you, but my body cannot do so. i cant rid this place of your stench, your odor, your memory.

my face contorts into complex shapes attempting to accurately depict the disgust and disdain which is rendered by such foul breathing air. covering my face is futile. preventing breath prevents smelling your smelly smell, but preventing breath prevents life. i do not wish to live with your smell, but i do wish to live…

what a dreadful burden to bear.

you dont deserve to enter into the shelter of my nostrils. nobody deserves to smell your smell.

leave me.

No Harbor in the Sky

2012-02-25T16:13:00.000-06:00

Whisked up in the winds of Spring, I am lifted.
Carried along by the leaves strung across the sky,
The breeze chills my naked cheeks.
Flying away, it reveals the warmth freely gifted by rays of sunlight.

The trees are far below me now.
Scattered bushes identify as freckles on the surface of the earth.
Fields of roses blush its fair complexion.
They hide scars left behind by rivers of tears that once streamed down its face.

Birds above are now feathered friends gliding beside me on this free journey.
Their presence is reassuring and inspiring.
Here and there, they stay long enough only to wish me well.
They grace me with fluttering ecstasies then return to their private endeavors.

Tossed into the dense heart of the clouds, my hasty breath is kindly taken from me.
Moisture collects and nestles on my neck and hands.
Swimming in the air is much less involved.
Resistance gives way to my flailing arms.

The need to breathe is present no more.
I am prostrate to nothing and feel the absence of pressure.
Released, I relinquish my worries.
The backstroke is better here in the sea of blue.

Breathe easy.

Float along and make land where you may.
I will remain without direction in this one-man vessel.
My harbor is no longer necessary.
I will not be tied down.

I am sailing free.

Oh I Wish...

2012-02-02T08:46:00.002-06:00

Oh, I wish I could just live my life by doing what I am passionate about! I feel like I could get so much more accomplished if all I had to do was this:

Eat
Sleep
Pray
Read my Bible
Take photos
Write
Hang out with my girlfriend
Hang out with friends and/or family

Yep… that would be a pretty sweet life. I know its completely unrealistic for now, but it never hurt anyone to wish for something better; let’s just face it- we have to do a lot of boring, meaningless, or time consuming things that we would rather not have to do. I am not looking for comments saying, “yeah, well that’s life and you need to get used to it or get over it.” I already know that I just feel like wishing for more (or in this case, less) today.

I haven’t been keeping up with my photography as much as I would hope to because I am currently lending my camera to a friend who is taking a photography class. Oh well. As long as I get to use it every now and again…. it may in fact make me appreciate the joy that it brings me if I can’t do it as much as I’m used to. With that being said, here are a few photos that I was able to take over the last few days.

How We See Us vs. How God Sees Us

2012-02-01T03:05:00.002-06:00

Our eyes are limited. They see the here and now. They see the tangible and physical. They allow us to view the world around us in an incomplete way, and as a result, the way we view ourselves is unnatural. We can try to prepare ourselves so that we look our best in our own eyes and in the eyes of those around us, but we do not know our true beauty.

If we cannot see all that we are as creations of God, we can never fully understand the love and care that He has for us. We may think that we are ugly, beautiful, cool, lame, smart, dumb, or somewhere in between, but in reality we have yet to see the magnificent glory in which God has made us.

Psalm 139

New King James Version (NKJV)

God’s Perfect Knowledge of Man

For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

139 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
²You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
³You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
⁵You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

⁷Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
⁹If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
¹²Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

¹³For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139&version=NKJV

This Is My Property! Keep Off!

2012-01-31T11:50:00.001-06:00

This mulch is my mulch.
It is dark, deep… thick.
My mulch smells, looks and covers better.
Keep Off

This soil is my soil.
It is fine, fertile… rich.
My soil grows more, better and faster.
Keep Off

This grass is my grass.
It is crisp, clean… fresh.
My grass is greener, cooler and softer.
Keep Off

This rock is my rock.
It is smooth, shiny… pure.
My rock is bigger, harder and stronger.
Keep Off

This land is my land.
Keep Off

A Night Like Many Others

2012-01-30T02:48:00.000-06:00

My body is tired. My frame is sore. I am worn out from a day both good and bad. My bed is warm, almost too warm: warm enough to feel like my breathing is slyly being restricted. My hands are dry, but I’m too lazy and too broke to buy lotion… besides, lotion isn’t manly. My neck hurts, and the pillow I’m using isn’t worth the 30 dollars I paid for it. Shifting to my side feels better, but I don’t like looking at the wall beside me and my legs keep rubbing and getting stuck together. There is an eyelash in my eye, just present enough to make me feel it, but not annoying enough to get up and get it out. I’m slightly hungry. The one slice of pizza that was my evening’s dinner obviously wasn’t going to be enough, but it was late and I didn’t feel like driving somewhere just to feel full. Every noise is amplified and the silence in between the night’s rumblings pierce my thoughts. I am laying on my back with my eyes wide open. Thoughts are playing wack-a-mole with my brain. I can’t think of anything besides how noisy the silence is. My ears are ringing. My eyes are wishing that the ugly shadows and light patterns stamped on the wall would morph or move at least so that I could have something interesting to look at. They seem so constant and dull. I am listening to myself swallow; picturing the saliva squirm down my throat to an empty stomach. My breathing is annoying. I hear the slight whistle produced by the tiny hairs in my nose. I do not breathe through my mouth out of fear that my freshly brushed teeth will turn to morning breath by the time morning comes around. I am looking at the clock. I am wondering how electricity works. I am puzzled as to why the two little dots separating the hours from the minutes are always blinking. Tonight is today already. I still think of today as tomorrow though because I haven’t been asleep yet. I wonder if I think about one thing right before I fall asleep if I’ll be able to dream about it. That will never work… I think about way too many things. I couldn’t possibly control what I’m thinking right before I go to sleep. My roommate rustles in the bed not too far away. He is sleeping like a little baby only dreams of sleeping. Why can’t I sleep? My eyes are heavy, that means I’m tired right? My mind tells me otherwise. I’m thirsty. Water is all I have. Water is from the sink. Eww. No. Not sink water this late at night. It could never be cold enough. I am feeling my hair start to mess up already. No telling what it will look like in the morning. I wish wigs were normal to use; that way I wouldn’t have to worry about fixing my hair in the morning even though I showered at night. A jar of peanut butter is beside me, but I have no spoon. Still hungry. Still thirsty. I feel like using my finger to scoop it out, but eating peanut butter will just make me more thirsty and I have nothing tasty to drink. I wish I was in heaven. Then I wouldn’t be thirsty. I wouldn’t be hungry either. I would never get tired and have nights like this. This would not be my norm, and that would be wonderful. I swallowed again. I am listening to my heart beat. I am remembering when I was a kid. I used to be so afraid of my heart beat as it sounded with my head against my pillow. It always sounded like leaves rustling right outside my window, as if footsteps were crunching them as some stranger was walking around out there. I miss being a kid. having a beard is not all it’s cracked up to be. it keeps scratching my shoulder right when I get comfortable. My feet are always cold when I try to sleep. That is so distracting… Trying to sleep is harder than falling asleep. I wish they were equally easy. Why does my brain catch the little things so much? Great, now my eye is twitching. Check the clock, 4 minutes has passed. That sucks. My pillow is hot on both sides now, and that is exhausting to find out. Light gets brighter as the sun comes up and when light gets brighter, it gets harder to fall asleep. I have to at least try. I am trying. I have been trying. I feel like a little kid being punished, and not being able to go to sleep. Why do I only hear the air vents at night? They’re never this annoying. Mmmm… peanut butter. I feel like drinking milk. My lips are now chapped. and the corners of my mouth are sticking together because of the saliva that has been coating them. That’s kinda gross, and kinda fun to play with. I wonder if I’ll end up being one of those old people who always has a little bit of spittle in the corners of their lips. Thats disgusting. My baseball coach had that and he was only in his 40′s. My eyes hurt now, they’re not just heavy. Im closing them because it is too painful to keep them open. Maybe through eye pain I’ll finally be able to sleep.
Goodnight.

Hating Hypocrites

2012-01-30T00:21:00.000-06:00

In my life to hate hypocrites is to be hypocritical. If I were to hate all hypocrites, I would have to hate myself.

Ironic huh?

Running from Nothing

2012-01-28T19:51:00.000-06:00

scrambling, scurrying, always hurrying.
nothing to see.

looking, worrying, constantly wondering-
who’s watching me?

panicking, stressing, knowing nothing
pleasing, jumping, huffing and puffing

laying down, I’m playing dead
hoping it all will pass overhead
kicking, screaming, clawing the sky
wild haymakers blindly fly

sprinting, sweating, gasping, panting
tripping, falling, bruising, scraping
hopping, ducking, weaving, racing
wildly running, but no one’s chasing

exerting energy just to see
all im doing is running from me

Trending- Individuality

2012-01-12T12:45:00.000-06:00

He says, she says

I think I’m best

You say, I say

I’ll do it that way

Your way’s my way

So mine’s not my way

We like to be like

All they say’s right

My life’s my life

It’s not your right

To say what’s not right

And give me your strife

I say my say

My say’s my way

Do as you may

And we’ll go our way

I am writing...

2011-12-30T21:54:00.001-06:00

I am writing to you. Yes.

Random Ramblings of Creative Thought

2011-12-11T19:25:00.002-06:00

Sucked into an endless vortex of empty space. Nothing to grab on to, nothing to slow you down. Inertia uninhibited. Pulled onward by an unstoppable force in seemingly no direction. The comfort of sound does not grace your ears or soothe your terror. You feel no touch reaching out for you. You see no structure, no form, no concept or idea to reassure you that wherever you are going is indeed out there. Led blindly by an invisible guide to a place unknown.

To kick, to scream, to wail to cry- these are all viable options; all of these are yet futile. You struggle against an unseen oppressor. You fight an untouchable torment. Acceptance- this is truly profitable. Immediate fear and lasting pain… Ultimate peace and total knowledge in uncertainty.

Close your eyes and go.

Yay For New Photos

2011-11-27T22:04:00.002-06:00

All new photos guys! The first bunch will be from my Canon T50 film camera, the ones starting in color will be from my Nikon D3000.

Enjoy, ask questions, and comment on what you like or don’t like. (note that the film got slightly messed up in the production process… stupid CVS)

What's a guy to do?

2011-11-24T23:48:00.001-06:00

I feel as though there are tons of things for me to think on and make decisions about right now. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t even know if I really feel like writing this post, but I am going to do it anyways because I know that from now till Sunday I will not have internet access.

just as a random thought, i recently viewed a website that never used capital letters. i thought i’d give that a try just to see how it felt. something about it seemed simplistic, and calming; yet another part of it seemed somewhat confusing and arrogant. this is my attempt to decide whether or not i like it. be prepared, this could cause a very noticeable change within my blog posts hehe

I want to leave it up to you, my readers. Please let me know in the comments below if not using capital letters is a good or bad idea, and why. because this blog is for both you and me, i greatly appreciate your feedback and input into how i manage it. THANKS!

Here is a random photo! Yay!

These are some of the yummy rolls that I had the privilege to eat today for Thanksgiving. I am very thankful for them!

Ugh… I don’t feel like writing anymore. I want to not be tired so that I can enjoy blogging. I want to have my new phone, which is the *Blackberry Bold 9930* by the way. I want to have Wi-Fi tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that. I want a lot of things. I don’t want to have to make all of the decisions that I need to. I don’t want to deal with issues that will cause stress and most likely financial obligations. I want to stop writing and go to sleep, but not really.

I want to be in Costa Rica or Cozumel, Mexico or Jamaica.

I want to cry and I know why but I don’t why I haven’t addressed it.

I want to talk with my best friend. You know who you are- but don’t think it is to vent or anything… I just miss you. I would say text or call me, but it is just as easy for me to do that, so I think I will. I love you!

I just realized that I never stopped writing, so I’m going to do that now.

But just as a closing note, please don’t take this as me needing to be consoled or given sympathy. That is not what this is about. In fact, it is too random for such an action. This is just me writing the things I would verbally say instead of writing the things that I mentally want to say. My verbal diction is much less sophisticated, but I’m ok with that. I like surprising people with my level of intelligence. It’s fun.

Thanks for reading guys. It means a lot to know all of you enjoy the things I say. Sorry for the lack of “substance” in this post. I guess its substance is a small and unorganized glance into my daily shallow thoughts.

BOOM.

Done.

Back to Proverbs

2011-11-17T08:45:00.001-06:00

It has been quite a while since I last spoke about Proverbs within the series Righteousness vs. Wickedness. I thought that today would be a good day to return to this topic. Why? — well, why not? Every day is a good day to study God’s Word. Looking back at the last Proverbs post, I ended with verse 2. As a result, I will start this one with verse 13…

Just kidding, verse 3. Here we go!

3. The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3)

This verse is pretty straightforward. Despite its simplicity, I find the message it delivers to be very amusing. Here in this one line, we find guidance and destruction. If you want to have a sense of direction, develop your integrity and allow it to manifest itself in your life in a way that will be evident to others. Just in case you are wondering what integrity is, I took the liberty of using dictionary.com to provide you with a proper definition.

integrity (ɪnˈtɛɡrɪtɪ)

— n
1.	adherence to moral principles; honesty
2.	the quality of being unimpaired; soundness
3.	unity; wholeness

In the King James Version, integrity can be compared to righteousness (see Prov. 13:6). As listed in its definition, to have integrity is to adhere to moral principles; to be honest, sound, and whole. As Christians, this concept of morals is conceived from the teachings outlined throughout scripture. It is also directed by the teaching of the Holy Spirit. Those seeking to have integrity or to be righteous will be guided by the Holy Spirit. This is clearly asserted in the beginning of verse 3.

The second half of the verse begins with another noun, perverseness. The definition of the adjective perverse is listed for you below.

perverse (pəˈvɜːs)

— *adj*
1.	deliberately deviating from what is regarded as normal, good,or proper
2.	persistently holding to what is wrong
3.	wayward or contrary; obstinate; cantankerous

Therefore, perverseness is the quality or state of being perverse. The perverseness of transgressors (sinners) is the deliberate disregard or deviation from that which is true and good. To be perverse is the complete opposite of what it means to have integrity. Likewise, the result of perverseness is contrasting to the result of displaying integrity. For those who are perverse, the end result will be destruction. The guidance spawned from integrity will lead us on a path that will keep us from destruction. The interesting thing about these results is the time in which we may see them.

In the modern North American day that I live, I am taught to expect results now. I live in a fast-paced society that wants to reap the benefits of its actions immediately. In the case of this verse, only one type of action guarantees results within this lifetime. If you can’t see which one that is, it is action guided by integrity. What is the guaranteed result? Guidance. On the other hand, if you would prefer to not reap the benefits of having integrity now, you’re welcome to try perverseness! You may very well never experience the destruction which is guaranteed in this passage until your death; but do not be misinformed… eventually you will be destroyed.

This whole passage makes me giggle. Integrity and guidance go hand-in-hand. The Holy Spirit and Word guide us so that we can display righteous integrity, and then our integrity guides us throughout the extent of our lives. In light of the American mindset that drives a good number of our decisions, the obvious choice would be to strive for integrity. It is guaranteed to pay off now, and to do so very well.

Should you choose perverseness, I will not need to discuss how to go about being perverse. It comes naturally. Should you choose integrity, you will have to try a bit harder than the others. Because you are human, acting and living with integrity will go against everything your sinful nature tells you to do. Thankfully, you have another aspect of your being that battles against that sinful nature. This is the Holy Spirt which is accompanied by the Word of God. The two are inseparable, as described by scripture.

1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)

God = The Holy Spirit = The Word

11. Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against Thee. (Psalm 119:11)

The Word of God is written on the hearts of man.

9. Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

The Holy Spirit lives inside of you in order to provide peace and guidance.

Having and displaying integrity is easy and hard. It is easy in that we know who to look to and where to look for guidance in our actions. The hard part is allowing ourselves to be instructed in the Word of God and to let the Holy Spirit correct us as we make mistakes. If we do this, however, our lives will line up with the will of the Lord. This will is true, good, whole, honest, and sound. Look back at the definition of integrity. See if God’s will lines up with it.

8. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you to integrity, and allow integrity to guide you in your walk with Christ and others.

Christian "Brain Damage"

2011-11-12T23:44:00.001-06:00

I would like to talk to you for a while about what I believe all Christians experience at some point in their life. It is a phrase I call “Christian Brain Damage.”

Before I go into further detail, please watch this short clip. It is an excerpt from one of Bill Cosby’s comedic videos “Himself,” made in 1983. In this section of the film, Cosby describes some of the difficulties he has with his children.

Although all good metaphors break down at some point, I believe that Cosby has caught on to a very simple problem that most people go through. As he described in the video, his children do not do what he asks them to do. In fact, they do what he asks them not to do even though they know they are not supposed to do it. He refers to this as “brain damage.” His kids do the very thing he asks them not to do and when he asks them why they did it, all they can say is “I dunno!” — Brain Damage.

I have been reflecting on my life and actions in the past few days and I have come to the conclusion that I have Christian Brain Damage. I constantly do things God has said are not healthy for me. They might be things he has commanded me not to do and I have done, or they may be things that he has asked me to do and I have not done. I fail God in this way every single day, and all I can ever say when God reminds me about it is “I dunno!” — Brain Damage.

When facing this fact, I am drawn back to the Word, where a fellow child of God was also experiencing Christian Brain Damage. Check out Romans 7:15-25

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

In these passages, the Apostle Paul is speaking to us regarding the constant struggle that he has with his sinful nature and his ability to do that which the Lord has called him to do. His life is far from perfect and he often feels this sense of Christian Brain Damage which has been caused by the evil that is within us all. He feels regret and remorse for his actions, and when he is confronted by his Father, Paul is thoroughly humbled.

The difference between the brain damage that Bill Cosby describes and that which we as Christians experience is seen in the father’s response. In his video, Cosby demonstrates frustration, anger, and even a disconnection with his kids in the light of their so called “brain damage.” He finds it exhausting, painful, and annoying to deal with. This, thankfully, is not how our Heavenly Father handles our Christian Brain Damage. Our Father is never exhausted by our failures. He is always willing to show mercy even when we manage to screw up every single day of our lives. Sometimes all we can say is “I dunno,” but God understands us. He says that if we confess our sins, He will always be faithful to forgive us. He gently and lovingly reminds us of His will, and righteously instructs us with wisdom and care.

As Christians, we all demonstrate signs of Christian Brain Damage (some more than others), but we are more than blessed to have a Father who is merciful unto us and who gives us grace when we least expect it. I know that I will continue to struggle with this, but thanks be to God, who delivers me (daily) through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Nobody Around- #Boredom

2011-10-23T14:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I came back from fall break (early). This was a pretty stupid idea, considering everyone was on fall break just like I was. Right now, they are out squeezing the last rays of sun from the fall break weekend, and guess where I’m at…. That’s right. I’m back at the dorm. Do you know who else is at the dorm?

NOBODY!

So I am here by myself, and I am super bored. What can I do to make the time pass by? Take some photos, of course! Ooh ooh, and then I can post them on my blog and write about it! Yeah! That’ll pass the time!

Since I can’t play pool by myself very well, I decided to play around with the pool accessories to see if anything I saw would make a good photo. Some shots failed. Some turned out making me smile. Here they are:

With the exception of cropping and one B&W edit, the photos are all as they were taken. Hope you enjoyed looking at them. I love how the table itself and all of the balls are all worn out. The dents in the cue ball makes it look like craters in the moon. Pretty cool eh?

Well……..

That took 30 minutes off the clock. I suppose I’ll StumbleUpon now.

Adios!

Skylar

A New Approach

2011-10-22T18:57:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine, aka Brittney, recently recommended that I try a few new things with my photography. First off, she said that I should start posting my RAW images that are unedited. Secondly, she said that I should try new perspectives.

I thought I’d try both… posting RAW images alone will force me to get better exposures the first time, making editing easier in the long run. I also plan on carrying around my camera wherever I go. I want to begin taking photos in every location that I find myself, thereby increasing my skill with choosing manual settings in the moment. I mostly won’t be as concerned with what I am taking photos of as much as how I am taking the photo. I am sure this will make me take some unusual shots with new perspectives. The goal is to take a photo as soon as I remember to do so, without choice of a perfect model or object to shoot.

Anywho…

I came upon this really cool VW on the way home and I decided to stop and get some shots. I got some with my T50 as well, but those haven’t been developed. Here is what I took with my Nikon-

(There’s a pretty flower for you too… Oh! Just FYI- these are in compressed jpeg because NEF images are too large to be uploaded on this blog)

As always, feedback is appreciated! Don’t tell me about the third shot which is under-exposed. I can see that I thought it was still a cool image which is salvageable if I bump up the exposure and lift some of the shadows. With clouds at sunset it was hard to get the white balance right so that the sky wasn’t super blown out and to maintain the color in the surroundings. Oh well!

I like this. It’s fun to publish my mistakes. Hope it is encouraging to you to know that not all photography blogs are perfect or great at all times.

Love,

Skylar