Let me just put it out there: I have disliked Tosh.0 from the start.

I find him nothing but mean-spirited, getting cheap laughs from teasing just about everyone he can. Many people think that since he is an “equal opportunity basher” his comedy is OK. I, however, find it is NOT funny to slam anybody or anything just to get “laughs.” He rips on blacks, stupid teens, fat people, the poor, ugly, etc. This time, though, he has simply gone TOO far.

Wednesday, I awoke and did my usual AM internet rounds to Yahoo!, Discovery News and then, finally, Facebook. I found out that this picture had been put up on his website, inviting his followers to write “funny” captions.

I was horrified that the picture was there. I was even MORE horrified by a handful of the hateful comments (out of 2,000 of them) like :

Beneath all of that skin is a beautiful vagina, waiting to be fucked….and waiting….and waiting

She’ll get picked up soon, I see a garbage truck coming.

Quick get me to occupy Wall Street, I hear they are raping people down there.

Never mind the rape and slut-shaming jokes, but the very worst thing was HOW they got this picture. It belongs to fat activist and artist Substantia Jones, and is a part of her Adipositivity Project.

This just makes my blood boil.

HOW DARE THEY!!!!

Society once again take something worthy — something that tries to normalize fat bodies and build us up — into yet another way to beat us down and torment us. Normally, Substantia welcomes the sharing of her photos. “Folks sharing Adipositivity photos,” Jones said, “as is regularly done all over Facebook and Tumblr, aids in the purpose of getting body positive images in front of as many eyes as possible. We dig that. But to steal someone else’s copyrighted material in order to use it in purveying bigotry and hate for profit? Not cool.”

The person in the picture is a very brave woman. A PERSON, not some thing to be mocked. Her name is Janie Martinez and, according to Jones, the photo is ”conveying the bliss of being completely happy with your physical self, and boldly so, even in a world filled with ridicule.” Apparently Tosh.0 and his hate lackeys have missed the point.  They have also used a copyrighted image without permission.

Thanks to the many Fat Acceptance groups on Facebook, and elsewhere, word got around. Activists such as Marilyn Wann,  Ragen Chastain, and myself, as well as activist groups like Rolls not Trolls jumped into action. Five hours after I saw, and was sickened by, the original post, Comedy Central took the page down. Now this is the page that had over 1,200 fat bashing comments on a copyrighted picture.

Apparently, sticking up to the bullies DOES work! If you want to help take action like this in the future,  and you have a Facebook account (who doesn’t anymore), please leave us a message here and we will add you to the Rolls not Trolls group. There, I and many others, strive to be a word of sanity on the internet, leaving fat positive comments and actual FACTS on most, if not all, of the ZOMG OBESITY PANIC! articles out there.

Trigger warning: Discussion of a child whose mother tried to make him lose weight and the people who most recently made him lose weight.

Last November, the never-ending panic over childhood obesity was fueled further by the story of an 8 year-old Cleveland, Ohio boy who was taken away from his mother and placed into protective care by the Department of Children and Family Services because he weighed over 200 pounds. Medical experts who examined the child said his weight was not the result of a medical condition, but of poor diet. The mother, who said she was actively trying to decrease his weight to no avail, fought to keep her son and failed.

Following the story, it seemed everyone in the medical community and the media had an opinion on whether fat children should be taken away from their parents. While many agreed with the decision the DCFS made, many also thought it was wrong (although not for entirely altruistic reasons).

Well, just last week, that same third grade boy was returned to his mother after his weight decreased to 166 pounds (173 at the time the article was written). DCFS agreed to close their case and the mother’s lawyer was pleased, saying,

We are happy the county terminated protective services. We think the case was ill-advised. Our plan was to get him out of the system as soon as possible. This whole thing has been about his weight with no concern to his emotional state.

That’s something that a lot of us in this community always stress when it comes to fat shaming.

Unlike the first story, the followup didn’t generate the rabid, sensational headlines we saw last year, which got me wondering why. Of course, one reason I thought of is that, well, the DCFS and the Cleveland courts got what they wanted: the boy lost weight. Now the county is paying for family healthy cooking classes, a big brother assignment with Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America, and he’s received a free membership to the local Y. Maybe they consider that another possible casualty of the childhood obesity epidemic has been saved.

But the cynic in me thought of another reason: a lot of people can’t comprehend that taking fat children away from their parents is emotionally, physically and mentally devastating, and maybe, just maybe, that all kids aren’t fat because they can’t stop putting down the Twinkies and give up playing video games.

Despite medical experts claiming the boy’s weight was a result of dietary choices, I doubt most kids that young reach 200 pounds strictly because of eating. And if the mother claimed that she did try several techniques to get him to lose weight, and all of them failed, wouldn’t that set off alarm bells that something else may be going on inside his body besides too much sugar, salt, fat, etc.?

But when it comes to fat children, anti-obesity experts and mouthpieces refuse to hear those alarm bells. It’s more simplistic for them to just say junkfood, fast food and no physical activity is the cause behind every big kid in the world. The genetics factor is usually ignored or argued that it can be fought. The income level factor, while gradually being understood, is also argued that it can be fought if access to better transportation, healthier foods, and community activities like cooking classes and urban gardens are created and promoted.

As we all know, that is easier said than done, especially when the money is thrown, not at improving overall health and nutrition, but strictly at public weight loss initiatives. And again, as we all know, that mindset really hasn’t worked either, thanks to some public backlash against First Lady Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign and a failed attempt by the state of Arkansas to reduce the BMI of their children.

It’s extremely tiresome and disheartening to see families torn apart by fat bigotry and fat shame. It’s infuriating that Social Service offices, who are already overworked with cases of actual abuse and neglect, now have to play weight police to remove children from functional homes. Children who are assumed to be neglected simply because of waist size, spurred by local governments that have fallen for the anti-obesity rhetoric.

It’s so frustrating that the media has nothing better to do than to fan the flames of anti-obesity hysteria and give air, and internet, time to fearmongers, yet ignore voices of those who say that weight obsession is unhealthy.

About three weeks ago, I bought a new-to-me bicycle at a local resale shop. It’s a Schwinn 21 Speed Mountain bike. It’s a higher-end model, one with the shocks on both the front and rear axles and gear changers in the handle bars. It’s a sweet bike, and I’m looking forward to riding it.

When I bought it, it had two flat tires, and one of the tires had to be completely replaced because it was in that bad shape. Also, as it is a 21 speed (and the highest speed bike I’d ever owned before was a 10 speed), the hubby and I decided to take it to the nearest bike shop that does repairs and have it checked out. While Conall checked it out when we bought it (checked the gear change mechanism, brakes, the chain to make sure it wasn’t about to break, that type of thing), he hasn’t had a bike since the 1970s, and that was a 10 speed as well.

The bike was so inexpensive we figured that even if we had to invest $400 for it to be in tip top shape, I’d still be getting an awesome deal. And if we overlooked a major problem that would be too expensive to repair, we weren’t out anything.

So, a week after I bought the bike, I called the bike shop to see about taking it in. The bike shop had a two-week wait, and they could schedule me for an appointment for May 17, last Thursday. Of course, I made the appointment.

On Wednesday, Conall and I took the bike to the shop.

As soon as we walked in, we were greeted, which was nice. The young man at the front counter then engaged Conall in a discussion of the bike. Every time I said something, he ignored me. At one point he even talked over me so he could ask Conall a question, the answer of which I was already telling him. It wasn’t until the employee (referred to from now on as DE, for Douchebag Employee) saw that the appointment was in my name that he started to talk to me, and that was at the very end of the encounter.

After we left the building, I asked Conall if I had imagined the employee ignoring me or not. Conall said I had not, and then offered up, “You don’t have the type of body they expect to see in a bike shop.”

“That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t at least give me the courtesy of listening to me!” Conall completely agreed with me that the employee was rude and dismissive.

Honestly, if I’d not already waited two weeks to have my bike fixed, I would have taken the bike out with me. I was so angry.

Everywhere on the internet, fat people see the “advice” to just start moving, start exercising. Just get off your lazy butts and you’d lose all the extra weight and be miraculously healthy (whether or not you’re ill to begin with). Many people like to tell us fatties that we just have to employ some self-discipline, both in not eating the donuts and in exercising daily. Then everything would be awesome for us! We would be healthy! And more important, we would be at a socially acceptable size and they wouldn’t mind looking at us anymore! No, wait, it’s about the health! Really!

The problem comes when the fat person actually, you know, exercises.  Especially when they commit the crime of exercising in public while fat.

Anecdotally, I’ve been more abused when I’ve gone out exercising in public than I have been when doing any other activity (other than eating in public, that is). I’ve heard about people who have had things thrown at them out of cars because they exercised in public while fat.

A couple of years ago, I heard a story about a friend of a friend who, when told by his doctor that he had to lose weight, went out and bought a really good bike and all the accessories to go with it (brand new, not from a resale shop like I just did). On his very first ride, he had some idiots in a car try to run him off the road, all the while yelling at him that he was too disgusting to ride his bike and that he should lose weight before he did anything like ride a bike in public! The man was so humiliated, he sold the bike and all of the gear and never rode again.

I know what I’m opening myself up for.  Since my first ride is still in the future (I don’t have a helmet yet), I have the opportunity to practice my comebacks to idiots who try to stop me from exercising.

But I really was not expecting to be completely dismissed when I brought my bike into the shop to make sure it was in tip top shape.

When I went to pick up the bike a couple days later, I spoke the the store manager and complained about how I’d been treated. DE, who treated me so shabbily, was on the other register and that almost made me lose my nerve. I really don’t like confrontations.

I pushed through my anxiety and complained anyway. I explained how angry I’d been that I’d been treated like this, and that it wasn’t only me who saw it, but my husband as well. I told the manager that the only reason I left the bike there was because I waited two weeks for the appointment.

At first, DE tried to say it had to be another employee because there was another employee who looked like him. I showed DE the repair form and asked him if that was his handwriting. He admitted it was his handwriting. And then, without being asked, DE surprised me and apologized for treating me that way, promising he would never treat me like that again.

I accepted his apology, and thanked him for it.

The manager then took half off my bill for the repairs, which I had not asked for and even tried to argue against. After all, they did the work, they should be paid for it.

The apology and discount was nice. However, I’d much rather have paid full price for the repairs and not have been totally ignored and made to feel as if I didn’t exist, just because I am fat.

It occurred to me that perhaps we need an introduction page for our little community for those who fall into our clutches without expectations, including our various policies that are scattered throughout our vast archives.

We’ve had a few people pop in who blurt out random bigotry and/or ignorance, and it may help the dimmer among us to stay focused if we installed some sort of How To manual to set expectations.

Let’s start with the name: why Fierce, Freethinking Fatties?

What’s so great about being a Fatty, anyway? And isn’t Fierce just another word for asshole? And who wants to be Freethinking, considering considering this.

Well, the thing is, as a fat person, I am personally sick of the crap society thinks that I deserve to endure because of my size. If unhealthy lifestyle choices gives us license to be complete and utter assholes to others, then sign me up for the Temperance Movement because you drunk bastards are all sorts of recklessness, self-destruction and death.

But as a society, we generally respect the right of others to get drunk, so long as they aren’t driving or bugging me. Some of the biggest fat hating assholes I know are also some of the biggest alcoholics I know, and at some point you and I are going to have to pay for his liver replacement.

We don’t analyze how many drinks the drunkest people at the bar are. We don’t steal furtive glances at the barflies along the stools. We don’t have 4-part documentaries sponsored by HBO, the CDC, the NIH, the First Lady, the United Nations, NATO, the Bilderberg Group and the ghost of Jack LaLanne (or his teetotaling equivalent). We don’t have First Ladies going on Celebrity Rehab and talking about what an inspiration Amy Fisher is.

Because while we are horrified that fat people cost us $73 billion in productivity (even though it’s patently false), we don’t even give a damn if alcohol costs us $161 billion in productivity.

This is what we call a folk devil. When there’s a panic about some moral issue that is supposedly rending the very fabric of our nation, be it women, minorities, immigrants, drug addicts, sexual liberation, juvenile delinquents, Heavy Metal and whatever else Rush is against now.

If the reason for panic (health and social costs) is not applied to comparable “problems,” then there’s something else driving the stagecoach, people.

In this case, society’s response to the obesity panic is largely fueled by a cultural contempt for the personification of gluttony and sloth (in this case, fat bodies), which have their roots in our Puritan foundation.

But in the past 120 years, the nation has adopted slimmer and slimmer ideals of beauty, beginning with Lillian Russell, the 200-pound actress, singer, and sex symbol from the 1890s

Culminating in Twiggy, the 91-pound model and sex symbol from the 1960s.

The 1960s saw the modern incarnation of diet culture, which has become an $80 billion dollar industry with ZERO results.

So, we, the Fierce, Freethinking Fatties, are done buying into all of this crap, and we are looking to change the way society looks at us, and treats us, and we will not rest until the panic comes to an end.

Our contribution toward that end is this blog, which provides Fresh, Daily Content, Monday through Friday, and TOTALLY FREE access to our vast archive, which was a headache to navigate up to now.

First and foremost, take a moment to acquaint yourself with our tabs above, which include the following sections:

• Diet Talk — Many people who are involved in the Fat Acceptance movement have spent a lifetime dieting in the pursuit of thinness and have zero interest in you and your fool proof way to melt away the pounds. They’ve heard it, they’ve tried it, they’ve tossed the book. But we believe that the subject of weight loss and dieting must be addressed directly, both from a medical and cultural standpoint. So, how do we balance these two communities? How do we allow people to talk about dieting, including their own experience, without irritating the crap out of everyone? Apart from the Ratings system we developed, our Diet Talk page is intended to set the groundwork for productive, proselytism-free discussion.
• Fatties — Who’s behind this impressive monstrosity?
• Hall of FFFFame — Past Fatties whose contributions we’ll always appreciate.
• Join Us — All of our Fatties started out just like you, wondering if they had the moxie to write for FFFs, and it turns out they all did. Here’s where to find out the simple process for joining our team.
• Let It Out — You need a place to vent and we’ve got a comment board. Let loose, my friend.
• Philosophy — What inspired all of this?
• Ratings — We developed our Ratings system to deal with the various experiences and interests of our community. Some people have a history of eating disorders, while others just don’t care about health news. At a glance, you’ll be able to know what general topics the post contains with an at-a-glance color-coded rating buttons. This page also grants you access to our archives, organized by the ratings. Want to read about eating disorders or health news? This is where to search our archives for the subjects of interest.
• Themes — Each day, we feature a different theme for our posts. For instance, today is TMI Tuesday, because there’s a crapload of information in this post. You can read a summary of all the themes, or submit your own, as well as search the archive by theme.

Feel free to comment on any posts from the past, as our posts are always live.

However, be forewarned: if you have a problem with us and intend to write some sort of sharp, incisive attack on us for being stoopid fatties, let me save you some time.

We’ve had one persistent troll who has crapped in the punchbowl for everyone. This became the first time we had to use the unofficial policy known as the Asshole Rule. In an attempt to prevent censorship, we tell people that if you’re being an intentional asshole and five people tag you an asshole in a comment, then your comment is removed. If you have three comments removed, then you earn a permaban.

Thanks to modern technology, certain trolls like to use IP proxies to bypass our ban, which ultimately led to our latest policy, the Clear and Present Asshole Rule. Should you type out your epithets one hairy knuckle at a time, sparing no vulgar cliché, and I, as Chief Fatty, deem you a clear and present asshole, then I delete your comment immediately and henceforth.

That being said, neither the Asshole Rule nor the Clear and Present Asshole Rule is intended to limit dissent.

Au contraire, mon frère.

This policy is intended to preserve our pleasant, troll-free community, in order to provide a forum for discussing this complicated and incredibly interesting subject.

Personally, I enjoy discussing the medical aspects and have written exhaustive responses to critics (including Dan Savage) in an attempt to present the evidence supporting our view. So, if you have a differing viewpoint, please share, but expect us to insist on substantiation other than “but diabetes!”

And that’s about all you need to know to navigate Fierce, Freethinking Fatties, although this tutorial is subject to change as needed.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me an email at atchka at hotmail.

Thank you for stopping by, and we hope you enjoy your visit to our little corner of the Fatopshere.

In the minds of fat-hating trolls, fat people are always looking for excuses to be fat and Fat Acceptance enables them to do just this. Fat Acceptance itself is the ultimate excuse for the massive human failure that is being fat.

(Un)common sense should tell us all loud and clear that we are not currently witnessing an epidemic of people looking for reasons to get or stay fat. There are no cultural privileges — none — that come with being fat. If you are born fat, you are immediately cast in one of two roles: the hopelessly diseased or the would-be thin victim of evil parents.

If you get fat later in life, you are both too lazy to do the work and too stupid to realize how good you had it. It’s like not cashing in on a winning lottery ticket. Fat people are to blame for all the world’s problems, have every disease known to man, and it is all caused directly by their fat.

What are the cultural privileges of being fat again? That’s what I thought. Nothing.

Yet fat people, still, are accused non-stop of making excuses to be fat. I very often have this conversation with my mother and, in many of these, she will accuse me of making excuses to be fat. I tell her calmly that I’m not making excuses, I’m just fat.

To me, making excuses for fatness is making statements along the lines of:

• I know I’m fat, but I don’t have time to exercise.
• I know I’m fat, but I don’t have the time to cook or the money to buy the “right” foods.
• I know I’m fat, but I’m depressed and don’t have the resources to get help for my overeating.

These are all statements that reflect the idea that A) you are fat, B) this is a problem, and C) that you cannot stop being fat because of some external factor and that people should stop blaming you. You are looking for an excuse to be fat without being judged too harshly; for being fat and not giving your life toward the pursuit of thinness.

How about “I’m fat” period? I am not explaining away my fatness or my failure to fix it. It just is.

I am not blaming anyone else for anything because there is nothing to blame on anyone. It just is.

This is what Fat Acceptance tries to do, and this is exactly the opposite of making excuses.

FA is not an excuse to not care for oneself either. In a way, FA purports to do just the opposite. The Health at Every Size^® approach requires that people chart their own course for well-being, as opposed to just following mainstream, simplistic, one-size-fits-all health advice, often in the face of great opposition. FA does not require that you pursue health, of course, but this is not making excuses either. Again, we are not blaming other people or Society™ for our choices or our health. It just is, and we demand respect regardless.

Frankly, they are the ones making excuses, not us. They are making excuses, and devising straw man arguments, to ignore us and refuse to challenge their own biases. They may be trying to deflect their insecurities about themselves onto fat activists. The reasoning goes, “I hate myself as a fat person, I am working hard and succeeding at being a thin person, and someone, somewhere doesn’t appreciate how special I am because of it.” If the issue can be framed as fat people giving up, the fear of the loss of cultural privilege stays safely out of sight, out of mind.

In addition to accusing us of making excuses, these people very often use the excuses outlined above, like not having time to cook, etc. It is like they are trying to say they KNOW how bad being fat is, but to please not shun them. They are pleading for approval. We aren’t.

The next time you are accused of making excuses to be fat, just ask them, “Why should I excuse that which doesn’t need excusing? I’m just fat.”

Our final blogger for Autism Week certainly needs no introduction — the indomitable Shaunta of Live Once, Juicy.

When I was 22 years old, I went into the hospital one December day and was sent home the next with a gorgeous bundle of never-quiet, never-sleeping baby boy I called Nicholas. Now, I’m 40 and that boy is 18. Still Nicholas. Still never quiet. Still rarely sleeps. Still gorgeous.

It took a lot of years to figure out the never-quiet, never-sleeping part. Also, the won’t-let-me-put-him-down-but-freaks-out-if-anyone-touches-him-uninvited part. And the socially awkward part. And the random, but frequent, five-alarm, code-red meltdown part.

The process of getting to an autism diagnosis involved two misdiagnoses, each of which came with bucket-loads of unnecessary psychotropic medications. There was also the school counselor who told me my six-year-old probably wouldn’t graduate from high school; the strangers who insisted that all he really needed was a good beating; the marathon individualized education program (IEP) meetings.

Now Nicholas is 18. He’s a senior in high school, but because he generally lasts half a year in regular school before we home school for a while, he still needs some credits. He’s fully integrated, although it’s a giant struggle (mostly because no one has figured out yet how to integrate autistic kids). He’s a bright kid with the highest self-esteem I’ve ever seen, who takes everyone at face value, and who has a personal code of conduct that is amusingly chivalric.

But guess what? Just like EVERY OTHER KID, mine has grown up. And just like every other 18-year-old, he’s not done yet. He doesn’t melt down in the way he did when he was nine. Or ten. Or thirteen. Or even sixteen. He’s been able to go to school for this whole school year. That has happened since fourth grade. Maturity happens between nine and eighteen, for autistic kids, too.

Nick’s big sister heard someone speaking a few weeks ago about Job Corps. Run by the Department of Labor, Job Corps offers vocational training to people ages 16 to 24. Although there’s training in many areas, what caught Nick’s attention was the culinary program. Nick loves to cook, so he called. He set up an orientation date for himself, and me. Then he set up a tour. Then an interview. He organized a time to get a state ID card, a copy of his social security card, ordered his high school transcripts, and filled out his application. He went to the interview alone. Finally, he was accepted into the program.

Maybe that doesn’t seem like such a big deal. But to a mom who, since she was 22, has never been entirely sure her son would be able to have any real independence, his initiative was almost heart-breaking in its beauty.

I have no idea if he’ll be successful. I also had no idea that his neruo-typical sister would spend half of a day at her dream college, realize she hated it, and then jump through insane hoops to get accepted into the state university. At least three of my daughter’s friends went home after failing their first semester at that university and losing their financial aide.

Here’s what I have to keep reminding myself, which is exactly what I have always had to keep reminding myself, since the day I realized that my child would probably never need half as much sleep as I do (three-year-old who sleeps three hours a night, anyone? Anyone? No?): Nicholas is more similar to other kids than he is different. It’s so easy to impose not only normal kid expectations on him — but to compare him to the most perfect possible child of his age. I’ve worked in high schools and I know that if Nick didn’t take the initiative to get himself enrolled in Job Corps, he wouldn’t be very different from at least half of the kids his age who I know. And I know that if Job Corps isn’t a great fit for him, it doesn’t mean that he’ll never be successful at anything. Or that he’s any different from lots of other kids his age, including those who don’t have autism.

This is getting long, so I’ll just end with a little advice for anyone else out there with a kid who has autism, or really just about any difference:

Your kid is different, but not alien. Even the most different of different kids out there has more similarities than differences with his or her peers. Think about a green and red apple. You can easily tell them apart, but in reality, they’re both round, crunchy, sweet-tart fruits with seeds inside that grow into beautiful, big trees in places with cold winters.

Read a book by Temple Grandin. All of them, if you can. See her speak if she comes anywhere near you.* You can thank me later.

Even when it feels like you would sell your soul if it meant your child could just blend — just a little bit — find a way to celebrate the difference. I tell Nick, and myself, as often as necessary that different is world-changing. Every kid deserves to shine. Mine (and maybe yours) shines in flashing neon, whether I like it or not. Life is so much easier and more enjoyable when I embrace the difference.

Be flexible. Be patient. You might be the only person in your kid’s day who is, unconditionally, these things.

*Template Grandin gave an amazing TED talk you can see here.

Today’s post is from regular reader and commenter Karen, whose comments on the media’s coverage of the obesity/autism research inspired this week.

I am known by many labels: daughter, sister (both biological and adopted), wife, mother, lover, friend, blog wife, singer, musician, geek, and, yes, FAT.  I may hold some labels closer to my heart than others, but they are all me.  The most important ones for this exercise are mother and fat.

Perhaps a bit of explanation is needed.  My beautiful, funny, looks-exactly-like-his-father-so-I-question-if-I-even-donated-any-DNA, incredibly sweet, amazingly smart, and (for the sake of this post) autistic son was diagnosed as such when he was 4 years old.

That was 5 years ago.

Unlike many parents, upon hearing this diagnosis, I didn’t burst into tears.

I didn’t shake.

I didn’t panic.

I didn’t even scream to the heavens, “WHY US?!?”

I quietly nodded and started working on the next step: getting him the best education we could afford, given our incredibly limited resources.

I was damned lucky. At the time, my mother was a special needs elementary school teacher and my mother-in-law taught regular elementary education. So I had some pretty freaking awesome backup for this new journey. My unexpected trip to Holland wasn’t going to turn me into a contestant on my own personal episode of Fear Factor because I had (and have) awesomeness on my side. Sure, there were questions of what the hell we do from our position, but that’s what research is for.  That’s what experts are for.  I was on a roll!

Ok, so I don’t always roll with the punches as well as I think I should.  As I posted on Facebook recently, “Most days, autism and I walk hand in hand with an understanding that while things are difficult, they could be far worse.  However, today autism decided to hit me over the head with a 2×4 repeatedly.”

Yeah, there are days when I bemoan the life my little family knows. Sure, I’ve wished my awesome little gibbon was neuro-typical, but then I’ve stopped myself and realized that if he was neuro-typical, then he wouldn’t be MY little gibbon any more.  And, boy howdy, do I L-O-V-E LOVE that child.  He is by far the absolute BEST thing I have ever done with my life.

But this post isn’t really about him.

This is about me.

Because Monday, April 9th, 2012 brought news that made me sob.

What the hell happened on that day, you ask? Simple. As I sat in my recliner, listening to my son repeat the same phrase for what felt like the 100th time in 10 minutes, a story came on the Today show. They had linked the prevalence of autism to obesity in mothers.

The first time I heard the story, I set down my cross-stitch and just stared at the TV in befuddlement. Wait… I was “obese” when I was pregnant. Sure, I had a crap-ton of other medical issues unrelated to obesity going on at the same time, which caused a great deal of complications, but I WAS OBESE AND PREGNANT!

After the story passed, I looked over at that precious child, smiled that “if I hear the same thing again I’m going to want to scream, but I won’t” smile, and tried to put it out of my mind. I mean, I’m a pretty smart woman and I know that correlation NEVER equals causation. I also know that science has yet to find a way to permanently lower a person’s BMI into a “healthy” range.  I also know that BMI is a total crock of… well, you know.

The second time I heard the same report, I think I made sure that my son wasn’t looking in my direction, and then did my “bird dance.”  This dance is easy to do and dancers of all skill levels can master it.  You stick both of your middle fingers up in the air and you wiggle your butt back and forth, alternating which hand you’re thrusting toward the offending news report.

Personally, I’ve found that I almost exclusively reserve my bird dance for offending news reports.  I suppose it could be used in other circumstances, but if you do so, please do not blame me for the consequences. 

By the third time I heard the report, I couldn’t take it anymore (I guess the third time really was the charm for me).  That’s when the “blame game” played out in my head.

Now I need you to realize that I do not think that autism is the end of the world. My son is AWESOME and he finds new and creative ways to crack me up, leaving me in tears laughing. He can also be one of the sweetest little boys I know (although I don’t know if it’s the autistic child, or the 9-year-old boy, who no longer wants me to kiss him on top of his head when I walk by).

I do, however, realize that he has a difficult road ahead of him to navigate and that I am trying my best to help give him the skills to navigate that road without hitting too many potholes along the way.  Life isn’t easy for him, and I really wish it were easier, but hell, I wish life were easier for me!

As a parent of an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) person, there are times when I play the “blame game” and become a willing participant because I want to know what caused this difference and find better ways to help my child navigate this world that so often seems hellbent on throwing up as many roadblocks for him as possible. It’s not about a “cure” or a “fix” for my husband and I, it’s about helping our son have the best life he can possibly have.

I admit that I was thoughtless because I made the choice to play the blame game and begged to be tagged “it.”  I let these reports point a finger at me and scream, “You screwed up as a parent!  You are such a horrible person!  How dare you get pregnant while you were fat?!” I bought into the stupidity of the media and didn’t do my research.

And the saddest thing is that nobody ever wins the blame game. Everyone is a loser as soon as they start playing: those who place blame are losers because it’s easier to blame someone else than to try and figure out the actual reasons for why things happen, and those of us who accept blame are losers because we should know better. And for those who don’t know any better right now, the responsibility lies with those of us who do know better to lovingly guide them back into the land of understanding and support.

Media reports on research, such the one I watched on April 9th, are dangerous for many reasons. Not only do these reports trick us into playing the blame game, but the language is so muddled that it can confuse even the most critical of thinkers. Unless you can separate yourself and your emotions from the data set before you, then you run the risk of driving yourself insane. I wasn’t able to do that at first, and I am sure that others experienced the same problem.

If any group understands the dangers of media reports on research, it’s Fat Acceptance.  We get dumped on and blamed for so many (if not all) of the world’s problems.  The fact that obesity hitched a ride onto this study, bringing it to national prominence, is a prime example of how the media and society tries to blame the obese for every little thing they view as wrong with the world.

The study sucked, and the media’s muddled description of that study, which caused too much confusion and anger, sucked even more. Basically it all reeks of a game that I, and I hope you all, don’t want any part of.

We never lose if we never deign to play.

The following post is by CC, a regular reader and commenter who also has Asperger’s syndrome.

Imagine, if you will, that there’s a group called, say, Fatties Speak. On the surface, they seem to support Health at Every Size (HAES), and the idea that fat people aren’t freaks of nature, but rather people born into a different phenotype. Imagine, though, that its actual aim was not to reach out to fat people, but to their family members, to say that they understood their “grief” and that they knew what was best for these poor, sad fat people. Imagine that members of this group’s leadership gave TV and radio interviews, produced web videos, and, as a result, raised millions of dollars (in corporate sponsorships alone, including $12 million in donations through Toys R Us) to speak out against the epidemic of fatness and how it needs to be completely eradicated (not really a huge stretch).

That is exactly what Autism Speaks does to us. And by us, I mean the living, breathing human beings who happen to have some variety of autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

If you visit Autism Speaks’ website (autismspeaks dot org — I’m not giving them free trackbacks), you see some fairly innocuous stuff at the top, such as links or pictures of recent events. But in the sidebar you’ll see the following:

Um, okay.

According to the most recent figures available, the 1 in 88 number is true. In fact, diagnosis rates have jumped 23% in two years. But, as the NPR health blog rightly states, much of the increase is due to the fact that people are getting better at diagnosing ASDs. The diagnosis may be new, but behaviors are the same as always.

Thanks to the significant increase in diagnoses for autism and disorders under that umbrella (i.e., Asperger’s syndrome (AS), pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDDNOS)), Autism Speaks has triggered a lucrative panic:

The rapid rise prompted calls to declare the developmental disorder an epidemic. “This is a national emergency in need of a national plan,” Mark Roithmayr, president of the advocacy group Autism Speaks, said at a CDC media briefing Thursday.

Epidemic.

Sound familiar?

It’s become a buzzword designed specifically to sow fear.

But at the same press conference, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explained the increase as a result of “better recognition of the disorder by parents, doctors and teachers.”

For better or worse, ASDs are now in the public eye more than ever, and it’s helping laymen learn to see the signs. But, of course, the more people know, the less they need professionals, in theory, which doesn’t sit very well with organizations like Autism Speaks, which depend on donations for most of their budget.

I was diagnosed with AS comparatively late in life (not until I was about 27, when most ASDs are diagnosed during childhood). AS didn’t appear in the DSM-IV as a separate diagnosis until 1994, when I was 12, so nobody thought I might have AS until I met very good and smart psychiatrist a few years ago. I was verbal and had no language delays, so I couldn’t possibly have “classic” autism — the nonverbal, locked-in-one’s-own-world kind — and since AS wasn’t around when I saw my first shrink, I was diagnosed depressive instead.

AS was a phantom, a sort of bizarre anomaly found rarely in nature, a diagnosis of something just for weird kids. I could speak and sort of manage to do normal things, so I couldn’t be autistic, and for a long time that was that. Even now, doctors and family members tend to doubt me because there are a lot of things I can do.

It certainly won’t help matters, either, that the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the DSM, has proposed folding AS back into “autism” and eliminating the AS diagnosis altogether. In other words, the DSM-V (the next installment of the reference book used by most psychiatrists and psychologists in this country) would not have a separate entry for AS. People being evaluated would either be “autistic” and therefore eligible for special services and assistance, or they would be “normal” and get nothing. I look and act normal enough where you would think that wouldn’t be a big deal for me, but it’s a very big deal. I can hold a job, I can hold a conversation and I can live on my own, so for many people, I’m “normal.”

I assure you, I am not.

And the reason I bring this up is because organizations like Autism Speaks are molding the narrative of what autism is. It’s like Jenny Craig telling us what a healthy weight is. Think about it: when most of you hear “autism,” you don’t think of people like me, do you? People who can hold a coherent conversation and a job; who are very bright if socially awkward?

No, most people imagine children, or at the very least damaged adults, locked in their own world, rocking back and forth, flapping their hands, maybe throwing poop around or banging their heads on something. You, or someone you know, probably hold a finite view of autistic people.

Some of you have met an Aspie or otherwise autistic person; some of you are Aspies or otherwise autistic; and some of you are Aspies or autistic, but don’t know it yet. And yet, I’d be willing to bet that most people, if they know anything about autism, know that it affects children. Autistic children become autistic adults, and that inconvenient fact isn’t mentioned very often. I know that in trying to find a psychiatrist who specializes in adult autism, I’ve come across a grand total of three in the Houston area. I see one of them on a regular basis, and the other two weren’t accepting new patients. I’ve been lucky.

Go back to the Autism Speaks website, if you would. Do you notice anything? Or, rather, the lack of something?

I do.

I notice two things. Firstly, a much larger proportion of the site’s photos are of families and autistic children. Seriously, comb the site. There are some photographs of adults by themselves, but compare that number to the number of pictures of winsome, tragic-looking children. It’s about three to one.

Secondly, there is absolutely nothing which details any kind of help for autistic adults or even very much discussion of autistic adults. It’s all about children and parents. There is a section on self-advocacy under the What is Autism page, but it is 1. short and 2. demeaning. John Elder Robison, the single autistic member of Autism Speaks’ board of directors, is labelled as a “self-described Aspergian.” Aspergian is another label, similar to Aspie, that is preferred by some people in the autistic community. If any of you can come up with a more dismissive way to describe a prolific author and intelligent scholar, let me know, ‘cause I can’t think of one. This wording sure seems to say that “oh, he describes himself this way, but we don’t! Isn’t it cute and quaint?”

It also describes the autistic community as fragmented and disjointed. Let me ask you this: if you’re fat, deathfatz, in-betweenie, or any other label we throw around, would you want a skinny person to tell you how to conduct yourself, or would you prefer to determine your own path, with your own voice?

This holds true for most adults, but not necessarily for kids. Children aren’t usually old enough or interested enough to read about their diagnosis and, as such, it’s left to the parent to read up and make decisions for their child.

And, oh, what decisions they’re faced with.

I’ll link to their site just once, for the sake of convenience. Right off, there’s a section called “Autism and Your Family.” Okay. Might be helpful; it’s obviously going to be a bit more difficult to deal with an autistic child. When you click on it, a big, ugly word is right there, front and center: grieving. When there’s a section called “Stages Associated With Grieving,” you have a pretty good idea what tack the page is going to take (Hint: An amazingly offensive one.)

“How will I deal with this diagnosis?” it asks, following by the stages of grieving. It talks about the diagnosis as a “shock.” It speaks directly to parents, who are surprised and scared about the future. Right away, Autism Speaks hits parents where it hurts — right in the victim mentality. It becomes about them. It becomes about their struggle. It becomes about their patience and saintliness, about their magnificently sacrificial nature, to devote their life to caring for such a difficult being.

As someone with Asperger’s, I can’t articulate just how offensive this is. Having an autistic child is not easy, and I won’t pretend it is, but for every set of good, kind, patient parents who see their child as a blessing regardless of their neurology, you get the parents who spend a lifetime mourning the Normal Child they never had.

Trust me: we feel it.

I didn’t want to mangle Shakespeare, but I will: if you prick us, we bleed. If you poison us, we die.

But yes, right. Parental sacrifice. The good ones make the sacrifice and have good and bad days. The bad ones dwell indefinitely on how they’ve sacrificed so much to take care of us.

Apparently, parental sacrifice is so central to having an autistic child that it’s okay to talk about driving your autistic daughter off a bridge because you can’t handle the strain.

Apparently it’s okay for Autism Speaks to present autistic people as kidnap victims and suggest they are the cause of everything bad in their parents’ lives.

Not every autistic person is able to speak in recognizable language, but they can still communicate. None of us needs Autism Speaks to tell the world what we are or how they should treat us. None of us needs Autism Speaks to treat us like we are burdens, freaks, or causes for momentous grief.

Autism Network International puts out a newsletter which has some of the most insightful writing I’ve ever seen on this issue. Jim Sinclair wrote a piece I always loved, called “Don’t Mourn For Us,” and I’ll let him have the penultimate word:

This is what I think autism societies should be about: not mourning for what never was, but exploration of what is. We need you. We need your help and your understanding. Your world is not very open to us, and we won’t make it without your strong support. Yes, there is tragedy that comes with autism: not because of what we are, but because of the things that happen to us. Be sad about that, if you want to be sad about something. Better than being sad about it, though, get mad about it — and then do something about it. The tragedy is not that we’re here, but that your world has no place for us to be. How can it be otherwise, as long as our own parents are still grieving over having brought us into the world?

But don’t mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we’re here waiting for you.

Today’s Autism Week post comes from Kala, a friend and regular reader and commenter on Fierce Fatties, who’s grasp on statistical analysis I frequently rely on to ensure that I’m accurately describing the research I’ve analyzed. I’ve asked Kala to read this study and comment on it because this issue is too important for amateurs to handle. 

Disclosure: It is not my purpose today to debunk this study, or to nitpick the methods used, because I personally believe it to be a good study, written by responsible scientists. I feel that the bulk of the problem surrounding the title issue is the attention it caught from the media, and the misinterpretations that reverberated through many circles because of that attention.

What I hope to accomplish with this article is to inform readers on the study that was released in early April in the journal of Pediatrics, which examined maternal obesity, among other variables, during pregnancy as a risk factor for autism and developmental delays. This paper spurred a sudden outbreak of media attention on the connection between obesity and autism. You may remember such pithy headlines as:

• “Mom’s obesity tied to child’s autism, development: study” (Reuters)
• “Autism may be linked to obesity during pregnancy” (USA Today)
• “Study finds link between autism and obesity during pregnancy” (Los Angeles Times)

Such headlines might seem at first glance to indicate that maternal obesity and autism are inextricably linked, but further reading of the actual articles showed a more nuanced, if not complete, understanding. (Warning: The vast bulk of the comments on any of these articles were unenlightened, and I don’t recommend reading them for those who are triggered by insulting language and general negativity).

The big question that motivated this study is whether the inflammatory response in a mother’s body, spurred by metabolic disorders, can affect the neurological development of children in utero. The question that follows is whether the increasing incidence of metabolic disorders in Americans is partly responsible for the rising rates of diagnoses for autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) and developmental delays (DDs). It’s common knowledge that the health of a mother at the time of pregnancy is a factor regarding the health and subsequent development of her child, but we are far from understanding everything is on this topic.

This particular study was a statistical analysis on the correlation between ASDs and DDs and three metabolic disorders: type 2 and gestational diabetes, hypertension, and obesity (defined as a BMI over 30 prior to the pregnancy). The study looked at the prevalence of these developmental disorders (the focus of my article) and also specific scores for development within groups of children with and without these disorders (not our focus today).

It’s worth noting the debate as to whether or not obesity can be considered a metabolic disorder or whether the BMI category of obesity itself is significant, but that debate is not the topic of my article. However, it does lead us toward two major points which indicate that this article is a very preliminary study only. The most important point, and one that isn’t clear until the end of the paper, is that obesity was chosen because of its high correlation with insulin resistance. Thus, obesity is used as a stand-in for insulin resistance. Of course, we already know that there’s currently a chicken and egg argument surrounding the relationship between insulin resistance and obesity, making this proxy association a bit misleading to those who aren’t well-versed in this area.

However, the reason proxies were chosen was because the biological measurements that would indicate insulin resistance were not available for the mothers who participated in this study. The lack of biological measurements leads us to the second important point: there are no distinctions made between mothers with well-managed diabetes or insulin-resistance, and those whose metabolic disorders were poorly managed. Along with these two major limitations, there are a few other author-acknowledged weaknesses to the study, but the two I’ve outlined above are the most important points that weaken much of the media hype.

Setting aside the major weaknesses, what were the actual conclusions from the study? The association between diabetes and ASDs did not reach statistical significance, which means that this study did not find a correlation between the two. Statistical significance is a metric that indicates whether a given result occurred from random chance. For DDs, those with diabetes were 2.3 times more likely to have children with developmental disorders. With respect to hypertension, no significant correlation was seen between either ASDs or DDs. Finally, a correlation was found between obesity and both ASDs and DDs. Obese mothers were 1.67 times more likely to have children with ASDs and 2.08 times more likely to have children with DDs. All of these measurements were made relative to the rate of incidence seen in the control (typical development) group.

These relative risks have to be taken into perspective. If something is twice as likely to happen to a group of interest in comparison to a control, then the risk is multiplied by the actual prevalence in the control group. That prevalence might be 1 in 1,000,000, or 1 in 1,000, or 1 in 100. I have seen several values pointed out for the prevalence of autism in the general population, but all numbers were on the low end of the order of magnitude of 100 (meaning somewhere in the low single digits or 1-2%).

Based on this one particular study, there is absolutely no reason to believe that obesity is in any way causative to autism. There’s no reason to believe that well-managed diabetes or insulin resistance is causative to autism. This research merely sought to examine whether there was a significant correlation between metabolic issues in mothers and developmental disorders in their children. It’s nothing more than a starting point for further research.

No realistic conclusions made because of it.

No public health campaigns launched because of it.

No criticism of your body or your lifestyle justified because of it

And if anyone says differently, they’re talking out of their ass.

If you’ve spent any time observing the media, you already know that obesity will destroy the world.

In fact, based on a highly-technical series of studies, scientists have estimated that our collective obesity will cause a rotational imbalance in the Earth’s orbit on December 21, 2012, as predicted by the Mayans.

So, before the coming obesity-induced tailspin into the sun, it’s vital that we create an accurate tally of all the other medical and social ills that we, the culpable fatties, have caused. I’m leaving out the obvious relationships, such as type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease, because we all know there’s no arguing the fact that obesity causes these issues. Instead, let’s focus on the relationships you may not have considered, but which popular news organizations have been reporting on how obesity causes some of the greatest social ills we are facing today:

• Brain Damage
• Global Warming
• Birth defects
• Cancer
• Unplanned pregnancies and STDs
• Prescription drug abuse
• Sky-rocketing healthcare costs
• Childhood mental health problems and suicide
• Lower child test scores
• Anxiety Disorders
• Asthma
• Alzheimers and dementia
• Childhood asthma
• Bankruptcy
• Seizures and epilepsy
• Masturbation
• Excessive oil consumption
• National security issues

Way to go, Fatties.  If it weren’t for your rampant fatness, we’d have solved the problems of sustainable energy, terrorism, and global warming by now. But nooooooooooooo… you had to go fat it up and ruin this world for everyone.

Pardon my sarcasm, but I’m so sick of these ridiculous games that the media plays with obesity research. All it takes is a single study showing a modest correlation for ABC News to scream, “THE FATTIES ARE FALLING! THE FATTIES ARE FALLING!”

And it’s not just the liberal “lame-stream” media pushing the “obesity causes X” hysteria. Conservative encyclopedia, Conservapedia, attempts to link obesity with another favorite scapegoat of the right: atheism.

Most of these correlations are tenuous at best, and those studies that do show a potential relationship between obesity and the social ills in question are typically data dredges. A data dredge is an attempt to show statistical significance, even if that significance is limited or poorly controlled or incomplete.

Not all correlation studies use data dredging to come up with the results, but almost all correlation studies are reporting on just that: correlations.

Now, say it with me: correlations don’t equal causation.

For instance, I have long since assumed that the relationship between poor dental hygiene and cardiovascular health was well established. In fact, it’s so well-established that it shows up in random heart health tips by Yahoo!

People with periodontal (gum) disease are nearly twice as likely to have heart disease as those with healthy gums. While the reasons for the link aren’t yet clear, one theory is that the same bacteria that trigger gum disease may also spark inflammation inside the body, damaging arteries.

So, what comes first is the study pointing to a relationship, followed by theories on the reason this relationship exists. In the case of gum disease and heart disease, some very intelligent people proposed the inflammation theory. If the theory is plausible enough, news organizations, and even doctors, will begin promoting the theory as if it’s already been proven.

But what’s missed between the correlation and the theory are the myriad possibilities that could confound this relationship. In the case of gum disease, perhaps poverty plays a role? After all, poverty and gum disease are all related, according to a 2006 article in the British Dental Journal:

The study, based on a sample of people aged 45 to 64, found that low income was associated with the prevalence of severe periodontitis among whites, and both low education and income levels were associated with severe periodontitis among African-Americans.

And we know the correlation between obesity and poverty are strong. But this kind of interwoven influence does not make it into the fast and furious world of medical reporting, where headlines are generated more to draw readers in than to educate them.

As a result, you get “common sense” manufactured by incomplete or preliminary research. Once that “common sense” takes root in popular culture, it’s nearly impossible to rip it out of the national conscience.

Because although Yahoo! shared its advice on May 4th about  improving your heart health through flossing, on April 19, NPR shared the story of how medical professionals are trying to shatter the belief that this relationship has been proven:

An expert panel of dentists and cardiologists, writing in the American Heart Association journal Circulation, says there is no evidence that treating or preventing gum disease has any direct effect on heart health.

Despite their attempts, the belief that flossing prevents heart disease will carry on unaffected by the expert panel. Once the relationship is reported, it’s nearly impossible to take it back.

So, when we hear about how obesity causes global warming, it doesn’t matter if researchers suggest that global warming could may cause obesity because the relationship has already been established. Or when we hear that obesity increases the risk of suicide, we ignore the fact that studies show suicidal ideations are correlated with the self-perception of weight, rather than the weight itself. And no amount of debunking will convince society that obesity isn’t causing the rise in healthcare costs, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

Once again, when the media implies that obesity causes X, it becomes just another in a long list of problems that obesity, and obese people, are responsible for.

And, to be quite honest, in my more conspiratorial moments I can’t help but believe that this is the intention of many of the correlational studies that are released and never elaborated on.

This is most recently exemplified by the media reports that obesity increases the risk of autism. As this made the rounds, less sophisticated blogs, such as Pregnancy.org, which posted (then deleted) an article titled “Obesity in Pregnancy Causing Rise in Autism Cases.”

Retractions aside, the damage is done.

Once the suggestion has been made, once the coverage begins suggesting that fat mothers are producing autistic children, the recrimination sets in. The anti-obesity zealots tally another shame-point for the fatties, while the mothers of autistic children are left to deal with the guilt and self-blame that they may have affected their child’s neurological development.

I spoke with a few mothers of autistic children, including one of our regular readers, Karen, who saw the coverage and expressed these feelings of doubt and shame and self-loathing. “How could I do this to my child?” they have asked themselves over and over. At the same time, how many fat women who want to have a child have been given pause because they fear the damage they may do to their potential child?

This sick and sadistic parlor game the media plays with research and statistics infuriates me more than anything else. I do not fault the researchers outright because they are doing their job of trying to understand what causes autism. But our society is not research-literate and no matter how nuanced the study, the public representation will always exceed the actual findings.

In essence, they’re playing Telephone with science. Researchers release a study with minor implications and the media, always on the hunt for a sensational story, take those implications and make them bigger and stronger than they really are. Viewers take a headline like “Obesity increases risk for autism” and turns it into “Obesity causes autism” and they spread this ridiculously flawed conclusion through their social circles until it’s just accepted that autism is all the fault of the fatties.

I’ve grown accustomed to the tail-end of the telephone, when some monosyllabic trolls rattles of the list of destruction caused by obesity without much knowledge of the source. But when I spoke with Karen about her response to the news reports of obesity and autism, I felt that we had to do something more.

So, this week we are hosting another theme week: Autism Week.

We’ve got some great guest posts lined up for you from various perspectives, including an in-depth analysis of the original autism study, a critique of Autism Speaks, Karen’s account of learning the news, and, finally, the story of a mother who is watching her autistic son take flight into self-sufficiency.

I realize these topics aren’t all pertinent to obesity and health, but I want this week to be a resource for those mothers of autistic children who also happen to be obese, so that they do not feel responsible for their child’s development in any way, shape or form. But also so that the parents of autistic children do not see their child’s particular neurological vantage point as something to worth feeling bad about in the first place.

Autism is a complicated condition and we have barely scratched the surface of understanding it. So, I’m proud to offer Fierce, Freethinking Fatties as a forum this week to perhaps broaden our understanding just a bit more.