finding a family

the search - searching for bliss - all necessary

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 30 Jun 2017 01:39:00 +0000

we've got to back way up to start at the beginning to fill you in on all that has transpired.

on the night of may 23rd we were contacted by a sweet lil momma in louisiana. one of her contacts had found a pass around card that my sister placed in a new orleans hotel and shared our information with her. she'd been following our facebook page for a week and finally decided to reach out. we hit it off and ended up chatting with each other for about 5 hours. things sounded good and we found hope again.

the morning of the 24th of may started out as any normal day and i got a couple calls on my cell phone that were from unidentified numbers. i did not think too much of it until one left a voicemail message. the message asked us to call our social worker from bethany. still, i did not get too excited since we've previously been called three times (during the wait) to see if we'd be speakers on adoptive parent panels etc. i called her back. she said "we have a placement" - "twin boys were born" and we'd been selected to parent. i immediately said yes. (i have no clue what i was thinking, but i said yes.) i imed will on his trillian account and hoped he was in agreement with my thought process. his primary answer was yes as well, but he did have doubts and concerns about paying double placement fees! we chatted through it and decided it was a go. they asked us to come to the city where the babies were born on the 27th.

my big boy graduating from woodland preschool.

on the 25th of may we attended dax's preschool graduation. he was perfect in every way. while on the stage in his cap and gown they asked what would you like to be when you grow up? some kids said they wanted to be "astronauts", "mermaids", "race car drivers", etc. - however our child said he wanted to be "the boss". the room erupted with laughter and i could not contain myself! how perfect, and what an excellent goal! after the hilarity of the morning we headed into the fellowship hall where i was approached by a lady who said she too had been following our facebook page and had someone that she would like to refer to us who was seeking an adoption plan. insert glazed eyes. seriously y'all - four babies in three days.

friday the 26th we shopped. we gathered two of everything. we got car seats, bottles, formula, passies, onesies, blankets, everything we could think of and we (along with my parents who were here for graduation who now got roped into going out of town with us to watch dax while we adopted the twins) loaded up the cars. we headed out on saturday the 27th, three hours from home and got everyone checked into their hotel. dax was eager to bounce on a bouncy house across the street and to go swimming in the indoor pool. we dropped off our bags and headed to the hospital. the mother had signed her revocation papers earlier in the morning.

so excited for those paw patrol bouncy houses!

we were nervous and excited. we prayed together on the top level of the parking garage. we entered the hospital and waited anxiously for the social worker. she said she'd know us when she saw us, as we'd be the nervous looking folks! we met her and connected and went up to the mother's hospital room. we chatted and quickly got comfortable. we talked about everything we could think of and everyone seemed to feel at ease. there were many things we had in common and we chatted about the similarities. we were shown pictures of the boys from a cell phone and told we could come back on monday to meet them in the nicu. when we left we talked with the social worker and told her how comfortable we felt. she remarked that the mother had talked more than she ever previously had in their meetings and she too felt things went well.

feeling great after our visit with the sweet momma.

sunday the 28th we hung out. we swam in the pool, spent time with my older sister as she'd also driven down to give support, we just anxiously awaited our meeting for the following day. i kept attempting to connect with the contact from dax's preschool and finally caught up with them to inform them of what was going on. i was able to steer them to locate an agency in the state the birth mother was in so that they could pursue an open relationship, since that is what they were seeking. we referred them to quiver full and prayed that peace would fall over that momma. i emailed our friend in louisiana and attempted to connect with her, but was unsucessful. we did not want to leave anyone hanging, despite the fear of turning everyone else away and the possibility we'd be left with nothing.

good times with our big boy.

working on swimming.

nani and her new swim bag on the hotel patio.

my sweet family

the day before the big meeting.

monday the 29th we were supposed to go to the hospital at 9:30am. earlier in the morning we received a text to wait and come later. we sat nervously and watched a hundred episodes of property brothers and beach front bargain hunt. tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. we texted back to see if we should come around 12:30. we were again told to wait. my heart sank. i just knew something was not right. minutes seemed like hours. finally, i could not take it any longer. at 3:30 i texted again and then received a phone call from the director of the local office.

these weren't our babies.
we were not their parents.
they'd go home with their birth family.

we were happy for them, but we were wrecked. we'd told dax. why did we tell dax? he was so excited. how were we going to tell him and break his little heart? i cried for hours. will cried for hours. we just laid in the bed until we couldn't anymore and we decided to go watch dax in the pool with grans. there we watched dax tell a boy in the pool that he was going to have TWO new brothers. my heart broke a little more. soon we'd have to share with him what we knew.

he was so happy. he didn't know what we knew.

tuesday the 30th we had to pack up and head home. once we'd packed our bags and began loading the car i crouched down to dax's eye level and informed him that the brothers were not coming home with us. i cried. i tried not to, but i could not help it. he was mostly upset to see me crying. we don't think he understood that those babies weren't ours and they would not be joining our little family. we'd gone from four babies to no babies in a matter of days. he asked if i would always be sad, which made me even more sad, but i reassured him that it would take some time, but i would be happy again. we got in the car and headed back home. multiple times on that trip he asked if i was happy yet? i kept reconfirming it would not be today, but maybe tomorrow. when we got home sweet lori met us in the driveway with hugs and flowers. none of us could really make eye contact. we just hurried on through things and talked about anything but.

beautiful flowers.

wednesday and thursday were business as usual. i tried to hold back tears, get caught up on work, and explain to everyone we'd shared the news with that those babies were not ours. i remember sobbing while making dinner. i was facing the wall and dax was playing a game in another room. i was able to break down. we returned things. we got our money back. we cried. we hugged. we grieved. we loved, we lost. we unpacked and repacked to take dax to the tweetsie railroad in boone, nc like we'd originally planned. we carried on. friday we loaded the car back up and hit the road to the western part of the state. we enjoyed the drive and the sunny weather. we stopped and had lunch in durham, nc and passed out pass around cards all along the way. we made good time and as we were turning onto the road nearest to will's parent's house we got a call from the director of the agency's office. she was calling to check in on us and see how we were doing. we told her what we'd been up to and where we were headed, trying to get back to life as usual. she reconfirmed that we had told our social worker that we were fine to go back to active status the day after the failed match. we reassured her that we were. then, right there in the car in western nc, that is where the phone call changed directions...

starting out our trip to western, nc in the right way by getting good eats in durham, nc.

dropping cards all across the state. back to the drawing board. literally.

roadblocks

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 12 May 2017 01:38:00 +0000

i'm in a funk. (insert sad emoji.) this is certainly not uplifting, but i'm just trying to work through my feelings as of late, by being as open as possible. adoption is hard. as i head into this upcoming mother's day weekend i'm scared - scared of the raw emotions that keep welling up inside me. sorry in advance for the pain and for the tears.

i'm listening, really i am. but, i am just not sure what you're trying to tell me. all i see is roadblock after roadblock and i'm not sure which direction to turn in. adoption should not be this hard. we cannot have biological children, that's understood - so when God nudged us ever so ferociously towards adoption back in 2004, we knew it was where we were headed. yeah, it took us a while to get serious about it all, but eventually we got there. that is why we did not think that round number two would be nearly as hard as attempt numero uno. but it is, and in some ways it's way worse.

maybe you forget the difficult times you had in your first adoption when you're in your second because it's like labor pains and those things fade away? right? i don't know. never had them, so how can i even know. but i honestly do not recall the process to adopt daxton being this terrible. yes, the failed match was one of the worst times of my life, but outside of that it was all very smooth and uneventful with a minor wait (a blip on the radar) resulting in a perfect match for our little family to grow from two to three members. but, the process to get from three to four seems impossible.

how is it that i see so many people with more than one child, even more than one adopted child and we are struggling so very hard to make this growth happen? what should we be doing that we're not? i'm back to seeing pregnant moms and not being happy for them anymore. i'm resentful, hardened and messy. people joke about their kids being "annoying" or "bothering them" and i cannot even find it funny. you say you'd like to spend your mother's day alone with some peace and quiet - not me. i'd rather be dealing with a crying baby, changing it's diapers, and telling dax to keep his hands off of the electronics. you see, we long to grow our family, and have for some time, and it's so hard when it is all completely 100% out of your control.

it's been so hard to know that we've received zero interest in our profile since we started this second journey to adopt. not one expectant mom has had the desire to even speak to us to ask us any questions or get to know us. it makes you feel so rejected, unwanted and so vulnerable. what is it about us that makes us appear so unworthy? something we've said, how we look, we're too old, not physically fit enough, or is it something else? recently i've seen lots of posts about expectant moms who only want to work with adoptive families who have no other children. well, we do have a child, so now what? who knows. since the infant placement is seeming so overwhelmingly impossible, i started looking into older children for adoption. i recently inquired about a four year old on a second chance adoption site, but was told that since we had a five year old in our home we didn't qualify because they wanted no children in the home younger than the age of ten. i'd fallen in love with that girl. there was just something about her, that i locked right in on and i was devastated when we were turned down. i cried all night. i previously inquired about other older children and was told that since we have a five year old in the home we didn't qualify to adopt out of birth order. okay, so we cannot find a match for an infant and we cannot adopt an older child, so what are we to do? we feel so stuck.

none of this makes any sense. we're locked in with two agencies, we're marketing ourselves as best we can with pass around cards, online message boards, facebook groups, and trying to sell ourselves any way we know how, but we're getting no where. is God trying to tell us that one is enough? leave the other children for someone else? they're for another family? we're just supposed to be the parents to dax and that is how the story goes? that's hard to fathom. not a week goes by where dax does not ask about his sibling - when are they coming? - when can they play? - will it be a boy or a girl? - he'd make an awesome big brother, but - and maybe this is the hardest thing for me to imagine is how nobody wants dax to be their baby's big brother? i just cannot wrap my head around it.

but, i just have to stop going there. i'm not giving up. we're not giving up. we're ordering more pass around cards because with everyone's help, nearly 1000 have already been passed out! that's amazing! (if anyone else can help us pass around cards, please just message me your address and i'll get you some in the mail when i get my new order. - willandadriadopt@gmail.com ) our online profile book with quiver full is being created shortly and we're keeping our little facebook page maintained with the happenings of what's going on in our world. we know that this is all in God's perfect timing and one day things will all make sense, but it's hard. we're human and we cannot see into the future. the wait is so, so hard. my heart just longs to have another little one to love and a sibling for dax to call brother or sister. so, we pray. we pray that these roadblocks are just stumbling blocks in the path, just little hiccups, but they're not meant to derail us. we pray they are there just to keep us focused on Christ in every second of this search and wait. we pray that there is an expectant mom out there that's looking for a situation like ours - a home with a funny, quirky, loving, giving, spirited, Christ centered family that's looking to grow by one; and we pray that she'll find us - right here waiting.

"until God opens the door, praise him in the hallway."

the long part: the waiting & the carrying on

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 07 Apr 2017 02:34:00 +0000

in december we applied for a potential adoption situation coming out of florida. completing the attorney's paperwork, gathering up all of the required documents, and printing out some photographs of our family to include got our hearts re-energized with the possibility that a baby could one day join our family of three. clearly we didn't get selected to parent that sweet baby girl, but it has opened another door.

it's not that we'd forgotten about the possibility or that we'd lost hope, but we'd honestly become resigned to the fact that this was going to continue to take a very long time. while online i saw an ad for an adoption agency - quiver full. the more i read, the more interested i became in what they had to offer. after some prayerful consideration will and i decided we'd reach out to them for more information. they set up a call and answered our questions about self-matching and the marketing strategies that they feel best help to connect their adoptive hopefuls and expectant parents. we really thought this could be a good fit for our continued search.

because we're already working with bethany christian services we needed to be up front with them and let them know that we'd like to work with another agency. we hated to loose the fees we'd paid up to this point and did not want to damage our strong relationships with them, but we'd seen no interest in the past (almost) two years and felt things growing stale. to our surprise bethany reached back out to our communication and graciously allowed us to carry on working with them while we also attempt to self match with quiver full. we were elated at the thought that we'd have some assistance in better marketing ourselves.

as of march 30th we became an active family with quiver full. their strategy includes a facebook page in which we can provide further details about our lives and how we live on the day to day. by sharing this page with our friends, and our friends sharing it with their friends, etc. it is hoped that it will create a web of people and that within these shares we'll end up reaching out to an expectant mother who could be considering an adoption plan for her unborn baby. it really is all in the hands of God, but we know that this networking is part of his divine plan. everywhere we look we're seeing arrows and they were pointing us right to quiver full! it just feels right and we know that even while we wait (and it seems like we wait and wait and wait) He is in control and that the right baby will someday join our family.

right now they'd like us to reach 1,000 likes on our facebook page by the end of the month. that really seems daunting, but if you'd be so kind to give us a like and share, we'd greatly appreciate it. you never know who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody.

facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/willandadri/

the work with quiver full also includes more online marketing in the form of ads, as well as a website, an online profile book, and connections in another state. we are still in the process of pulling all of our profile book information from a hard copy into the online template, but hope to have that completed soon. for now we just have a static page, but that site is:
http://www.willandadriadopt.com/

we thank everyone for continuing to pray for our family as we wait. we're enjoying every second of dax being an only child. he's the best little fella anyone could ever imagine and he's going to be a fantastic big brother to a little sibling one day. he still prays for this little one all the time and he even hangs out in their room. he longs to have a sibling as much as we desire to add another little one but, while it's hard and the wait seems so incredibly long, we wait with a renewed hope and trust in God that He is laying this path exactly as it should be constructed.

the catch up game

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 02:52:00 +0000

shame on us. it's been a very long while since we've shared anything with the blog world. absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

to get caught up i am going to have to break it down into a little list. y'all, we've been busy!

went to conference in new york for work. it was a long 72 hours!
surprised sweet boy with a trip to disney world for his fifth birthday. we felt like it was the right age to go and experience the magic and hopefully be able to handle all of the long days of walking! we'd been telling him all year long that if he saved his money we'd try and go to disney world. well, he saved every cent he got his hands on and we cashed in all of my starwood points and a lot of our delta skymiles to earn us as free of a trip to disney as we could score. (highly recommend staying at the swan hotel. stayed there on points and loved every second.) we had a surprise party for dax on a friday night and told him at the party that we were boarding a plane for florida the next morning. pulling this off was a huge feat, but we did it and we had the trip of our lives. would not change one single second of it. we had fantastic weather, a relaxing time by the pool, beautifully fun days at all of the parks, and a super happy and cooperative little fella. daxton still talks about it two months later and is ready to go back!
for thanksgiving we headed to adri's folks and then to adri's uncle's house for turkey day. it was great to spend the day with all of the littles and get to spend time with that side of the family. we always have a great time and the scenery is amazing at the lake!
daxton had lots of performances! my favorite was his hip hop dance performance where he really put on the show with his personality! it was amazing to watch him and his little friends do their routine! our boy did an unbelievable job and we were so proud!
for Christmas this year we celebrated at home with will's folks. it was great to not have to be traveling and spending time on the roads. i'd been away from home for the entire month of november and it was good to be home! we had a very laid back Christmas with lots of cooking, eating, church, light tours, games, and movies. it was a very relaxing and wonderful time!
for new years we traveled back to roanoke to celebrate with adri's side of the family. it was amazing to have everyone at one event to ring in the new year. we all got dressed up in our fanciest clothes and enjoyed dinner and dancing together. what a wonderful way to celebrate! (even daxton stayed up until 2am! sorry to the baby sitter!)
2017 has started out with some more gas in our tank in pursuing our second adoption. we really feel like the last 18 months of waiting has been kind of a waste of time and don't want to be in this same place 18 more months down the road. we never imagined we'd wait this long. in the midst of all of the above, our homestudy had to be renewed in december and we hope that will be the last time we're doing that for this situation. we are going to create more of an online presence with our profile and work on some marketing. we hope this will boost our chances of finding a potential situation. dax really longs for a sibling and we cannot wait to continue to grow our family.

dax had a wonderful time with all of the rides, meet and greets, parades, shows, and performances!

the four cousins with great granny

the covey, taylor, mutispaugh, ryder, rolf, white families!

daxton on the night of his hip hop dance recital

dax had a speaking part in this year's christmas musical at preschool. we were so proud of this big boy on stage!

daxton loves this cereal, so he got it for a gift from santa.

we had one winter storm that kept us trapped in our neighborhood for about a week. it was just the right amount of winter weather and we're thankful to be back in the sixties now!

pumpkin patch 2016

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 00:30:00 +0000

we took our annual trek to the pumpkin patch this past weekend. this time we tried out a different farm just to have a new experience. instead of heading to hillridge farms we struck out a path to vollmer farms. we'd gone to vollmer back this spring to pick strawberries and love that they're all organic. we were not sure what to expect around the pumpkin patch, but we were very happy with our afternoon there!

of course i made dax pose for about a billion photos, but he obliged pretty well knowing that some amazing fun was on the horizon. sweet dax didn't disappoint in showing his personality in these pictures. love him.

this. is. dax.

after photos dax got to pick where he wanted to head first. he checked out the live animals and got to meet a donkey, some baby chicks, and some bunnies. after the animals he headed over to a zip line contraption that allowed him to plummet in a sawed out barrel straight down a zip line. unfortunately i miscalculated the swing at the end of the zip line (as the previous daddy was not really letting his kids experience the full joy of the zip line) and so i stood a little too close for pictures. before i knew what was happening dax was barreling down the zip line straight towards me. luckily i protected the camera with my left forearm, but dang - five days later and it still hurts! after the zip line dax moved over to ride the crazy cow train. this was a tractor pulling more of those sawed out barrels that were turned into seats for the kiddos. the driver made this extremely fun turning rapid left, right and zigging/zagging all over the place. the kids were screaming with hilarious giggles as they made their way all across the back part of the farm. once the ride was over dax wanted to go on the giant slide that is built into the side of the mountain. he grabbed a burlap sack and headed for the top of the mountain. will stayed up top to keep eye out and i hung out at the bottom to see him come squealing with laughter as he shot out of the tunnel like a rocket! he must have done this slide about 20 times!

when the sun started setting i told dax he better go check out everything else they had to offer and we headed towards the giant bouncy pillow. dax saw the giant pillow and immediately began stripping out of his shoes and socks, leaving a trail behind him as he made his way up the pillow. i think he could have jumped on this thing for a straight day if we'd let him. we allowed him about an hour of jumping and only made him move on so he could see everything else there was to see before we needed to head back home. this, however - was his favorite thing at the pumpkin patch!

after the bouncy pillow we took a quick trip through the corn maze. dax was pretty bored by this and quickly wanted to move on. next we headed to the pumpkin launch. it was like a giant catapult king, which is one of his favorite games on the ipad. all three of us lined up to see who could hit the pumpkins with the baseball sling shots. daddy definitely had better skills than dax and i had at this game! after quite a few rounds we let dax have some fun in the corn bin. he loved laying in the corn, rolling in the corn, putting the corn all over himself, and managed to get corn in his socks, pockets, and underpants! corn for everyone! last but not least, we took a hayride back to the pumpkin patch, picked out a pumpkin, and loaded up in the car. it was an awesome afternoon, and we were all tired (from trimming bushes earlier in the day and this in the afternoon, which in hindsight was just too much for one day - but we were short on october weekends!) and ready for bed!

all in all, we loved vollmer farms so much more than hillridge. it was not crowded or over stimulating. dax had an amazing time and we cannot wait to go back next fall!

falling off the radar

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 02:49:00 +0000

we've been busy lately. summer ended, life took hold and there was zero time for blogging. however, we're thankful fall has finally arrived, we have to wear shoes that aren't sandals/flip flops, and everything is pumpkin flavored. take a deep breath, and time is settling a bit before everything ramps up for the holidays.

spring and summer were rough with the passing of the dogs. we miss them every day, but we know they are where they needed to be. our sweet old girls both lived amazing long lives and brought us much joy and laughter. the end was hard, i won't lie - and we ended up having to put their extreme level of discomfort and the lack of ability for dr.s to perform operations to alleviate any issues above our desires to keep them here suffering on this planet. despite it being the right thing, it was a terribly sad time and i still cry about it often.

adoption:
we're having to update our homestudy on halloween. it's kind of interesting to me because we received the call to meet with daxton's birthmother on halloween of 2011. we honestly never thought we'd be waiting on our second adoption so long and even after updating our profile books this summer, we still did not think we'd make it to the dreaded homestudy update phase. sigh, but here we are. dax goes through phases where he asks "why is it taking so long?" because he is ready for "his baby" to be here. he's ready to have someone to play with and someone to share things with. he plays in the nursery often, and loves pulling out baby toys.

daxton:
daxton's schedule is busy, but he loves being on the go. he goes to preschool m - th (half days) and then has an activity every night, except mondays. every day he asks me "what are we doing today?" tuesdays he has gymnastics which he LOVES and has been doing for over a year. wednesday nights are awana and he's in the cubbie class. he loves being with his friends and he does a really good job memorizing his verses. thursday night activities are new, and for the past three weeks he's been taking hip hop dance lessons. it's the cutest thing i've ever seen. dax loves dancing. he creates his own moves, mostly some form of pop and lock and break dancing, all incorporated with a strange eye roll and head shake. (all of his dancing really started with the movie "home" and he loves to "wave his hands in the air like he just does not care".) dance class gives him a chance to learn some "real" moves and we cannot wait to see it all come together. will wanted to have him pick between gymnastics and hip hop, but dax said he loved both, so will's given in - at least through the holidays. friday nights are for soccer practice and then games are on saturday mornings. dax loves soccer and he's pretty good at it. his only set back is understanding that while you play against your team at practice, you play with them at the game. that shift is pretty complicated for him and he sometimes gets upset when his teammates get the ball or even score a goal! he'll get it soon though!

will and i celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary on the 18th of august. when we were first married we said we'd take a trip back to hawaii (where we went on our honeymoon) to celebrate the 15th, but we didn't make it. life changed and our priorities shifted to using all of our airline miles and hotel points to take dax to disney world for his 5th birthday. the surprise party and trip reveal are coming up soon and we can hardly wait to blow daxton's mind! in lieu of the romantic trip we settled for a romantic dinner to a five star restaurant i've wanted to go to forever. it was perfect in every way and we were thankful for auntie conti and uncle keek watching dax for the night so we didn't have to worry about getting home late and we could sleep in the following morning!

hopefully we'll have something exciting on the horizon to share sooner rather than later, but until then it's just business as usual at the white house!

Good Girl - Amelia - March 1999 - July 29, 2016

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 29 Jul 2016 14:00:00 +0000

GG. How do I even begin? You've been there. You've been everywhere. You've been through it all with us.

You were there when I graduated college, when Will graduated college, when we moved to Centreville, when we moved to Fairfax, when we moved to Herndon, back to Fairfax, when we got engaged, when we got married, when we got Eligh, when we got Illy, when our grandparents died, when we bought a house (and moved again), when we got pregnant, when we lost the baby, when we flipped a coin and moved to NC, when we sold our VA house, when we bought a new house in NC, when we got pregnant again, when we lost that baby, when I was allergic to fertility treatments, when Will got diagnosed with Chiari, when he had brain surgery, when things seemed so hard, when we decided to adopt, when we got approved, when we got matched, when it failed, when we were devastated, when we were chosen again, when Dax was born, when he came home, when we experienced the happiest moment of our life, when you loved on him and cared for him so tenderly, when he said you were his best friend, when Yaya got so sick, when she died, when he had to be told you were going to see Jesus and be with Yaya. You've been a huge part of our lives for the past 17.5 years. You've been there in the good times and in the bad. You've been such a good girl.

Your name was Amelia for a long time, and Will and I called you Mealboze, Meal, or Mealy - but when Dax got older he called you Good Girl. It's because you were such a good girl. Eventually it switched to GG and that's where you landed. Sweet old GG.

You've worked hard to be such a good friend and my first baby. I'll never forget the day we met at the SPCA in Harrisonburg and I saw your tiny sweet face. I knew you were my dog, and I refused to let you go. I sat and held you in the grass for hours until they could verify we could have dogs in our apartment. You were so tiny, so sweet, so small. You were just what I needed. A puppy to love and someone to love me unconditionally.

We're going to miss you, but we know you're not comfortable here anymore. Your leg hurts, your hip aches, its hard for you to stand and even harder to walk, your teeth hurt, you cannot see, can hardly hear, you have dementia that keeps you pacing all night long, and your heart is weak. We know that it's selfish to keep you here when you're in pain and you've lived such a full and rewarding life. So, go on sweet girl - run off into the field, face first into the light with your sweet soft ears gently bouncing in the wind. Go and be happy. Go and be pain free. Go and rest and we'll see you again one day.

neutral nursery

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 20:10:00 +0000

today's the day.

we're at the one year mark on waiting.

we were prepared to wait, but honestly never thought we'd be waiting more than one year. as noted, we finally got the new crib sheet and redecorated the nursery to a more gender neutral theme. our profile book has been updated and four copies are supposed to come into us late next week so they can be sent out to each of the bethany offices in the state. we're glad we've got this all updated and can kind of start fresh.

dax says the baby will like the new room.

we're trying to explain to dax that we're still waiting for a baby, but it might not be a baby sister. he's grown quite attached to the name we'd given this illusive baby girl - so we now keep having to redirect him to say that maybe it will be a sister - but it could be a brother. he asks almost every day if she's coming today. either way he's excited and just hopes that his sibling can play baseball with him soon.

join us in praying that our hearts can hold out while we continue to wait for God's perfect match for our family!

we've chosen a more gender neutral color scheme.

we're still in love with the birds and tied that into the new colors. the quote over the bed is Psalm 30:5 to remind us that joy comes in the morning.

will's great at making origami! one time i had an art show and he made hundreds of birds to hang from the ceiling!

i painted the new painting to go above the crib.

the waiting, oh the waiting!

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 20 May 2016 21:04:00 +0000

new color will focus on green. crib sheet will be a myriad of colors.

people like to check in on us and they ask us how things are going and what's new on the adoption front. part of me is happy that they asked because they are concerned and they care, but part of me still gets very irritated about it - not because they asked, but perhaps because they had to ask. the truth is there's not a blip of anything going on in the radar. we've got nothing to report, not one phone call, not one situation presented to us, nothing. see, if we had something to share - we'd likely share it, but there's nothing to share.

waiting is hard.

that's where we were two weeks ago and it precipitated us setting up an appointment with our social worker to discuss where we're at. we originally felt God leading us to adopt a baby girl and we arranged our profile in that way. our profile book was geared towards an expectant mother carrying a baby girl in her belly. our nursery was decorated in shades of light gray, pink, and seafoam. we had a couple little girly baby outfits, just in case we got a "stork drop call".

however, in the past few weeks God has been changing our hearts. we know that it is important for us to bring a sibling into our home for dax and to help complete our family. we know that child should have a skin tone that doesn't match ours, but one that looks more like daxton's. however, that's our only firm and solid goal. our goal is no longer to try and only locate a female sibling, but really the sibling that God wants us to have join our family. if He wants to have us parent a girl, He'll bring us a girl.

our social worker got our profile updated and removed our video from our online set up. we're working on redoing the nursery so that we can update those photos in our profile book. we also had to remove sweet iliana's photos and name from our book. that was hard, but our lives are changing. we hope to get the photos done and the books printed shortly. right now we're just waiting on a crib sheet that was ordered to give us a more gender neutral look.

it's good to have something to work on to keep us busy, and at the 11 month mark of waiting we welcome some more activity to be occupied while we wait. waiting is hard and i don't think we ever thought we ever imagined it could possibly take this long, even though they warned us it could. we hope that these changes will help to open us up to the right situation so we can continue to grow our family.

God has made it abundantly clear that we are to build our family through adoption. that is something we have not questioned in the past decade. and in that calling we know that He will provide another child for us to love, but sometimes our flesh is weak and we are impatient. we continue to ask for your prayers as we endure this season of waiting. we know that the wait, regardless of how long it may be, is a necessary part of our life that will get us to the point where we parent this special placement. thanks for being with us in this wait.

lauren daigle continues to really help me keep focus:

"Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"

iliana white - 8/2001 - 4/2016

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Sat, 02 Apr 2016 02:41:00 +0000

iliana has been fighting a long battle. last night she endured her worst seizure ever. at one point i asked will if she was dying. neither one of us was sure. we called conti and she rushed over to watch dax sleep while we took iliana to the doggy er. the doctor there confirmed she was stable at the moment, but anything could change at any time. we knew we needed to watch for signs of heart failure and the doctor could not confirm that this was a seizure and thought it could have possibly been cardiac fainting, since her heart raced and raced for twenty minutes after it was over. will and i knew when we headed to the vet we'd likely not be bringing her home, so we were sort of surprised when she stabilized and was able to come home one last time.

this morning we woke up and noticed (from her bed wetting) that she must have had several other "events" throughout the night. she wasn't herself today. she was lethargic. she could not stand. she could not hold her head up. we let her sleep. once she finally did try to wake she barely stood and then peed all over the bed. after that, she collapsed. i stripped the bed and loaded the washer, but kept her in my arms. i told my work that i was going to need to take the rest of the day off. i knew the time had come. will and i both agreed we needed to call to make "the appointment". we made the phone call and i started to wrap up work when will found some paperwork i was given back in november of last year about "laps of love". this service has doctors come out to your home to help your pet move on to heaven. we immediately called them and they said we could have someone out this evening. after chatting through the options we booked them and called to cancel the other appointment. then, the clock started ticking.

every second that passes you think you've made the wrong decision. but, every time i looked at her face i knew she was not the same dog that we've loved for so long. she was fighting hard, but the battle was taking over and she just could not fight it anymore. i sat with her all afternoon. i petted her, felt her soft ears, petted her cheeks, admired her whiskers and her eyebrows and her spotted fur. dax petted her, kissed her, and sang her lullabies. daddy held her, rocked her, and talked to her. we all took turns saying good bye the best way we knew how. by afternoon she still was not able to do more than lift her head. i had to hold her up to go potty outside and just let her bask in the sun and feel the breeze in her fur. she never even took one drink of water or searched for one bite of food today (which if you know her, is very out of character). she was fading.

conti came over to be with dax. she planned on swooping him out for some distractions while mommy and daddy worked with the doctor.

the doorbell rang. my heart sank. we knew this was it. the doctor came in. we told dax to say goodbye to the doggy, that she was going to meet Jesus. (we chatted with him earlier about it and explained it all the best way you should tell a four year old...) he gave her a kiss and told "yaya" goodbye and off they went. we talked to the doctor and told her we'd like to do it outside since illy loved the warmth of sunshine and breeze. we all headed out back and sat down with the sweet girl while the doctor did what she had to. she was very gentle and let me hold illy's head and cradle her while we said goodbye. she left us. we cried. we sobbed. we're still sobbing now. but, she's gone. she's at peace. i hope she knows we did all we could to keep her comfortable and happy and to prolong her life as long as we possibly could. it's going to take time to heal, and we're cherishing every memory as we walk down this path.

illy - i love you.
i love how you lick my hands, legs, and feet uncontrollably.
i love how you let me hold you like a kitty cat.
i love how you rub your face while walking around upholstered furniture.
i love how you love to bask in the sun and feel the wind.
i love how you bat your eyelashes.
i love how you circle, and circle, and circle to get comfortable.
i love how you snuggle up with us when you sleep.
i love how you love to eat, just like momma.
i love how you love me rubbing your ears. you'd vocalize just how great it was.
i love how your spots made you look like our little cow.
i love how you were always sad if i cried. you loved to kiss away the tears.
i love how you never took crap from anyone and you always stood up for yourself.
i love how sometimes you snarled at me and showed me your teeth, but you always apologized by licking later.
i love how you scratch the side of the bed to be picked up about 15 times each night.
i love how you terrorized eligh.
i love all of your nicknames: illy, donny, yaya, lana, iwiiana, illy fo shilly, lanalana ding dong, yana fo shanna, phil donahue - etc.
i love how you snore like daddy when you are getting really good sleep.
i love how you cracked us up. one time you ate the cap off a huge bottle of lotion to get the contents out.
i love how you used to devour your chew chin sticks. we used to spend $20 a week on your habit.

i love how you fought so hard through cushings, tumors, pancreatitis, ripped out nail beds, broken teeth, fights with your sister, and seizures - but you never gave up.

you will be greatly missed.

besties

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Thu, 24 Mar 2016 21:59:00 +0000

best little friends ever. dax is always talking about joshua and apparently joshua is always talking about dax. so, when i saw them both dressed in their gingham button down shirts i told them i must have a photograph to document this immense friendship.

today was the Easter musical performance at preschool. we didn't have our expectations set too high since in previous attempts at singing on a stage dax has either frozen completely up, or been more interested in the plants behind him, the carpeting, or laying down on the stage. however, our hearts leapt out of our chest today when not only did dax stand still with his classmates, but he actually sang words and did the hand motions too! we were so proud of our sweet boy pulling this off. he sung his little heart out and our favorite moment was when he sang "roll that stone away" and he acted as if his stone was heavy to get up the hill, but easily rolled down at about 50 mph. he gave struggling rolling hand motions followed by rolling hand motions that were almost completely out of control. too hilarious.

we love to see his personality blossoming and watching him develop friendships. he's pretty popular at school and we're glad that he's proving to be a good and compassionate friend. we're so glad he's not shy like mommy and daddy. every night he still prays for his friends, his teachers, and his family. such a sweet soul.

happy easter!

soccer mom

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Sun, 13 Mar 2016 02:50:00 +0000

it happened. today was the day. today was the day that dax got to "play" soccer for the first time. (i use the word "play" loosely because it was more like a tutorial on how to actually get acquainted with the world of soccer.) however, we knew from the instant that this boy is a natural. he's been geared up about it since we signed him up, bought his shin guards, socks, and a new ball. he knows daddy used to play soccer when he was little and he wants to be just like daddy. he even played along with the obligatory front porch photos to mark this momentous occasion.

now we like to take pictures with a cheese face. this means you close your eyes.

more cheese.

shiny new soccer ball.

this picture is brought to you by olan mills.

now he's being a ham.

he was stoked when we reminded him last night that today would be soccer day. we all got up early and the house buzzed with excitement about the main event! we got him all dressed up in his uniform and loaded up the car to head to the soccer field.

seriously listening.

not a fluke, still listening.

you got it. still listening.

following directions and doing his stretches.

dax was excited to see where he'd be playing and joined all of his other "friends" on the field. i settled in a spot on the grass while will helped dax get acquainted with the game. however, it was not too long before will got to come and join me because dax was ready for this! dax immediately took to listening to each of the coaches and was more focused and intense than i'd ever seen him. he listened, stood still, did as he was told, and was good at what he did. it was the first time we'd ever taken him to a practice of some sort where he continuously got thumbs up from m&d.

he'd learned this stretch before at gymnastics, but never actually done it properly.

getting excited to use the soccer balls!

dax getting some kudos.

who is following instructions? my child!

dax will show you how to do it. you put your foot on the ball - just like this.

amazing control getting the ball through the cones without over shooting it!

looks like a natural!

super confident on the field!

amazing foot work!

go for the goal!

we were so proud to see him enjoying the game and doing as he was told. it was an overwhelming feeling to see him doing so well and being in love with playing, meeting new friends, and learning a new skill. we were very impressed with his mad skills and cannot wait for next saturday to see him do it again!

signed,
officially a soccer mom.

sixteen years

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 01:26:00 +0000

the first grandson in our family turned sixteen years old this past valentines day. nobody ever dreamed there would be twelve years separating him from the next grandchild (dax). however, it did give us all a good chance to spoil james parker completely rotten. nah, i promise he is a good kid - but he's still pretty rotten.

james loves golf, hunting, and the west virginia mountaineers. to make his birthday special we got him a custom cake with some of his favorite things. to top it off we selected a ball cap like the one he wears on his facebook page. he was pretty shocked when we had a little mini hat that looks just like one he owns! (hey, your mom asked me to stalk you on facebook when you set up an account - so, i had to!)

everyone loved the cake and even found the weaponry very comical. the rifle ended up being the source of many a conversation and much laughter throughout the day! it doesn't take much to amuse this group!

james was a good sport and didn't really care too much about the dismantling of the cake, so long as he got the strawberry cake and ice cream! he raked in a ton of cash (almost $500), remember i said rotten? here he is opening one of about a hundred cards full of cash.

it was wonderful to have all of our family together for this special occasion. it was awesome to celebrate with so much love, laughter, and excitement! kids really do grow up so fast. it's so hard for me to imagine that this sweet guy is old enough to get a driver's license! where does the time go!

so thankful we're all within a drive of each other and we can be together for holidays, birthdays, or just on a whim! it no longer takes an airplane trip and lots of planning to just live life together!

my sweet sister beth has lost over eighty pounds within the past nine months! that is the weight of a 12 year old! so impressive! she and her husband have embarked on quite a journey and they are really knocking off the pounds. we hardly recognize them as they continue to slim down! i love this picture above because i see my sweet sister feeling so much better and her eyes are once again sparkling. it was so good to be with her and be able to spend time just laughing, joking, and hanging out. this happy time together will surely be a treasured memory.

had ourselves a merry little christmas

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Sat, 09 Jan 2016 03:09:00 +0000

christmas was super special this past year. not only was dax 4 years old and full of excitement and wonder, but all of my side of the family joyously descended upon north carolina for a southern christmas! a christmas without travel is amazing! conti and i filled their bellies with meatballs, cheeseplates, prime rib, and even banana pancakes. it was amazing to have time at the holidays with everyone together. we loved all being around and able to watch dax feel the excitement and enjoy all of his new toys and gifts!

we spent christmas eve at auntie conti's house. it was amazing that everyone could come to town and between the two of us we had beds for everyone and nobody had to stay in a hotel! that has never happened before! everybody enjoyed seeing conti and keek's new home in the south. james even got to play a round of golf with uncle keek. he and keek love some golf!

dax's santa list comprised of a bicycle, a kazoo and underpants! santa did a great job being a good listener and got dax everything he asked for and more. will and i got dax an instant camera and a watch with a timer. he loved all of his gifts and enjoyed unwrapping everything to find out what was next even more! he had too many gifts with all of the family sending him things, and he spent practically the entire day unwrapping! with his big boy bike being his main gift he was excited to get outside and test it out. we all went out to watch dax on his first big boy bike ride. the weather was a balmy 75, so will even walked around in shorts with no shoes. c'est la holidays in the south!

the entire group!

sleepy boy forgot that this was christmas morning!

"i got a bicycle!"

the kazoo!

gran helping dax learn how to ride his bike. (don't worry a new helmet is on the way. the one we ordered was too snug!)

dax using his new instant camera. he LOVED taking pictures!

the family playing like "jimmy fallon" with dax's new musical instruments.

we all had a great time at the holidays and are looking forward to a healthy, fun and happy 2016! we've got a feeling this year will be something amazing!

searching for bliss - adoption status update

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Thu, 10 Dec 2015 04:50:00 +0000

people have lately asked us how things are going with the adoption. are we still waiting? any news? have you heard anything? when do you think it will happen?

today i was reminded it's been 6 months. 6 months since we became an active waiting family for this second adoption. 6 months since our book was available for review. 6 months since our profiles were put into the mix for any matching opportunities. 6 months since we've been ready.

even though 6 months have passed we don't know anything more than we knew back in june. we pray for our sweet baby every day and we hope that she and her tummy mommy are well and protected from harm's way. we pray that God helps the sweet baby that He has intended for us to raise find their way to us.

we think about her often. we even talk about what she will and won't like, if she'll like a certain song, or to play a certain game. dax will say - you think she like it? i say, yes, yes - i think she'll love it.

however, regardless of how long we wait - we know that its God's timing and not ours. while we'd like to have her here with us now and we dream about having her here for Christmas, or the new year, or will's birthday, etc. - we know that it's going to happen when it's supposed to happen and we find comfort in knowing that.

God knows best and he knows yesterday, today and tomorrow. when He's ready for her to be here - she'll come home.

happiest of the happy birthdays

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Mon, 09 Nov 2015 06:08:00 +0000

the sweetest boy in the whole wide world has been four years old for less than 24 hours now. dax was so excited for his birthday party. he's been talking about it since my birthday back in september. the suspense of having the party, getting some presents, and hanging out with friends and family were all he needed to keep him going. every time he'd want a toy from a store we'd tell him to add it to his list. the list kept getting longer and longer, but it included a theme of products including trucks, cars, spider man toys, and anything concerning the paw patrol. luckily everyone had him covered.

thursday evening all of the family started to arrive to begin dax's week-end long birthday celebration. we went to dinner with my dad that evening and dax was a total ham. people kept asking if they could come to his birthday party and he'd give his classic answers of late: "maybe a morrow" or "we already did that last night". both answers are interchangeable, and have no truth or reason to them. he cracks up like he thinks it's so funny, just like when he tells you that "you're giving" him "a heart attack!" he came up with this from when we scared daddy at hide and seek a few weeks back. now he uses it all of the time, and even springs it on a waitress at dinner. oh mercy!

friday we celebrated national adoption month by speaking at our agency's quarterly meeting for adoptive hopefuls. will and i were on the other side of the tables about five years ago, and we'll still never forget that meeting. this time we were lined up front with some other adoptive parents and our son's birth mother. what a special time. we got to indirectly and directly speak our love for each other in our roles as daxton's family. we are so honored to have dax's birth mom in our lives and for her to be able to watch him grow, learn, and change. we made each other a little teary when we expressed our heartfelt feelings for each other. it was a special time that i'll never forget.

friday evening we were greeted with will's parent's arrival and the arrival of my mom and granny. dax was excited for everyone to arrive and to even see a giant spider-man balloon left for him on the front porch! it was just about as tall as he was, and it did almost give me a heart attack when i found it outside! we all enjoyed dax's favorite pizza dinner and dax kept asking over and over if he could open the presents! we told him he just had to wait one more sleep for the party day!

saturday morning we woke up to the sound of pouring rain. the sky was dark, the fog was thick, and the rain was steady. we all loaded up into the car and drove 45 minutes into down town raleigh to meet up at the museum of natural science for dax's school friends party. we were glad to see that some of his besties showed up, despite the yucky weather. dax and his friends enjoyed learning about animals, making collages, meeting and petting a bug, a bullfrog, a dove, and a bunny. they were amazed with the little creatures! the kids had fun dancing and hopping like bunnies! after all of the fun dax got to hear the happy birthday song he's been singing to himself all week and the kids enjoyed the birthday cake and ice cream. after they were all hopped up on sugar the boys played a game that had them running after each other around the room. dax and lucas had a blast just running around like crazy men! kendall watched the boys and thought they were quite silly. everyone had a good time.

after the museum party we headed back home and it had finally stopped raining. we were so thankful since we were planning on having a cookout for about twenty people! it all worked out and we got to spend the afternoon enjoying will's great grilled offers and a coffee bar in celebration of dad's belated birthday. all of the caffeine kept the adults awake and ready for a full day of partying. after lunch dax began opening gifts. he got 50 matchbox cars, two race tracks, a giant chase - paw patrol - dog, some new clothes, a spider man toy, and some new books. he was very excited to open every single package!

after playing with his gifts for the afternoon we got a great visit from dax's birth family. we were so ecstatic to hang out with dax's birth mother, birth father, half brother, and cousins. the kids were having a blast playing together and it was so special to watch dax play his racetrack with his birth father. the only other time we'd hung out with him before was when dax was about 6 months old and dax screamed bloody murder the entire time! this was much more pleasurable! we saw so much of dax in our interactions with his biological dad. they have the same sense of humor, personable and friendly personalities - sounds of laughter always flowing out - and then that huge smile! we love spending time with our extended family and hope that we'll get to continue to do that as long as we shall live!

this morning we headed out for dax's birthday pancakes. the boy knows what he likes, and he wanted pancakes and pancakes! so, we all loaded up and went out for blueberry pancakes. the waitress delivered the pancakes with candles in them and the entire dining room sang happy birthday to dax. he was smiling ear to ear! he ate his entire breakfast and was very happy with all of the fan fare. after the breakfast we wished will's parents well on their journey home and we took a family nap. dax slept in the middle of our bed and will and i snuggled up to him on each side. who knows how many more moments we'll have like these, since dax keeps reminding us how he's a big boy!

daxton - at four years old

loves to get ready by himself. can put on his own underpants, pants, socks, shoes, and most shirts.
loves to go potty by himself. can get the pants down, get the pants up, wash the hands, dry the hands.
can write his name all by himself. he prefers to do a "D" then an "X" and then a backwards "a".
loves to open doors all by himself and hold them opened for others behind him. everyone is always impressed by his doorman skills.
loves to apologize each night for anything that he's sorry about (its a sort of confessional). he sometimes says he is sorry for making a mess, having an accident, hitting the dog, making someone mad or upset etc. it's a sweet little thing he does.
loves to sing to music while riding in the car with mommy. he loves christian radio and belts out all of the songs he knows. (he also loves a little jason aldean, no problems there.)
loves disney movies. loves to go to the movies, loves to rent dvds, loves to watch them over and over and over again!
still loves to go to the big city! loves going to town to see where daddy works and to try new restaurants.
loves to smile, giggle, joke around, and laugh - laugh - laugh! he keeps us laughing and smiling because his behaviour is infectious!
loves going to preschool! he has lots of friends in his class and often talks about connor, joshua, and lucas.
loves his neighbor - dylan - and they constantly call out for each other to come swing or go swimming!
loves his awana class every wednesday night. we've been very impressed by his memory verse skills and how it's helped us help him understand the love of Jesus.
still loves halloween. dax looks forward to halloween all year. its a special day for us since it's when we got the call about his match, and we just sometimes wonder if he knows how special this day is for all of us. it's really the beginning of our joyous journey of his sweet little life.
still loves pizza, pasta, popcorn, crackers, apples, oranges, mango, fruity ice creams, vanilla cake, pancakes, and most other carbohydrates!
loves to play on his swing set out back. he loves to slide his toys down the slide and watch them reach the bottom before he can race to pick them up. he loves being pushed on the swings and is working on getting himself going on the swings.
loves swimming! he did great with swimming lessons this year and everyone was impressed this summer about how well he was doing in the pool and at the beach. we hope to keep him swimming through winter at the indoor pool.
loves that he got to welcome one of his auntie's to the carolinas this fall. now aunti conti and keek live just about ten minutes away. dax is looking forward to family meal times being a little bit bigger and also looking forward to a slumber party at conti's house and watching a movie on her giant new television!
loves dancing to songs like "i like to move it, move it" or "kick the dust up" - there's a little something for everyone! we love to watch him do his "break dancing".
loves saying his prayers every night. he talks to God and tells him all that he's thankful for and prays for his friends, his teachers, the preschool director, and his little baby sister that he hopes will come soon!
dax still loves raffie and sleep with him every night.

he sometimes takes him on car rides, to school, and always on long road trips.

four years old is going to be amazing. he's so sweet and sensitive. sometimes you'll just get an "i love you momma". melts the heart. dax's speech is getting much easier to understand and he's really voicing his likes and dislikes. he can tell us when he wants to do something or when he'd rather not. most things don't present as a battle anymore, unless you try to convince him to go potty right in the middle of an activity that he really wants to partake in. we love spending time with him and helping him grow, learn, and love. he's a people person and loves meeting people and charming them right in with his personality. everyone loves dax. no doubt about it. we know we said last year that three was the best, but even though we are now 24 hours into four, i can already guarantee that this year is going to be our best. love, love, love, love, love you sweet dax. my baby. er - i mean big boy.

pumpkin patch '15

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Sun, 25 Oct 2015 01:40:00 +0000

today was the day.
if you've read this blog for any length of time you know that the pumpkin patch is our thing.

today we got to take conti with us, so this was a special treat. we geared dax up for several weeks, reminding him that this was on the schedule. he got super excited today when he woke up and remembered that today was pumpkin patch day. he had a blast jumping on the moon bounce pillow, running through mazes, doing duck races, going down the giant slide, watching goats and rabbits, riding the choo-choo train, taking a hayride, running through fields of pumpkins, and eating kettle corn, soft pretzels, and funnel cake.

we all had a great time just watching this boy grin from ear to ear all day long. sweet boy's personality was on fire today. he was hamming it up all afternoon long. when we went to the pumpkin field dax thought we should probably take home all of the pumpkins, even though there were about a thousand to choose from. he had a hard time narrowing down the field. we let him pick our four pumpkins and he selected a wide range from bumpy to green speckled to stemless to lumpy. they'll be carved up later this week before the big festivities.

so glad we got to spend this day with our sweet boy making more happy memories together.

...and it came to be

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 05:23:00 +0000

in the past three days i've caught dax in what appeared to be thought pondering. once was in the bathtub and the other in the car today. in both instances he was staring off into space but yet still in deep focus. when asked what he was thinking about he, on both instances, said he was sad that his baby sister (he calls her by name) was not there with him.

we pray for a baby sister and talk about her occasionally, but it is not something we discuss with him often because we just don't know when it will happen. adoption is hard because of the uncertainty. most mommies with babies growing in their bellies have at least some sort of rough estimate as to when the new baby might be delivered, but we just have no clue. there's no countdown. there's no warning. it could be tomorrow. it could be two years from now. we just don't know. try explaining all of that to a three year old.

however, it's amazing to know that God blessed us with a precious boy who is going to make a great big brother. he's so sensitive and concerned with loving his little sister before she's even known. it's the same love we had for him while we prayed in waiting for him to come. we didn't know if we'd be welcoming a boy or a girl, a newborn or a three month old, or when he'd arrive. yet, all the while - as we waited - we prayed and we loved. we prayed that God would locate the child that was perfect for our family and bring us to him - and he did.

we're so thankful to have sweet dax in our lives. he's recently been memorizing verses for his awana class and this week's verse was:

"Psalm 33:9 - For He spoke and it came to be."

i cannot help but ponder over how fitting this verse is for all that's been running through my mind as of late. it's like dax already has a connection with his sister. a bond that will be inseparable. a connection that only he and she will understand. one day sweet boy she'll be here - and when she does we won't be able to contain our jubilation.

second year of pre-school and the happenings

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 18 Sep 2015 03:12:00 +0000

our sweet boy just started his second year of preschool on september 8th. he's still in love with his school, his friends, and his teachers. we couldn't have asked for better. every night he prays for all three when it's his prayer time. so sweet. we also recently signed him up for Awana and he is in the cubbies class. this past week he had to learn his first memory verse:

1 John 4:10 - God loved us and sent His son.

we were all kind of shocked that he could learn this verse so quickly and were very proud of his efforts. he very proudly displayed his booklet with his signature and completion sticker when he came home that night.

it's amazing how much growth he's shown in his speech progression with his bi-weekly therapy appointments and we're so glad that he's not gotten discouraged or felt left out for not being exactly on point with the difficulties he faces in this area. his teachers for both his preschool and his Awana class are very patient, understanding, and willing to work with him on it, and for that we are very thankful.

as of late sweet dax loves playing basket ball with his uncle keek, playing choo choo with auntie conti, playing on his playground outside with his daddy, and cuddling with mommy on her lap. he loves his ipad and wants to constantly be playing lego games or puzzles. we make him go technology free at various points of the day, week, and weekend so we can pry it from his clutches. if he had his way he'd likely take it to bed.

he still loves spaghetti, macaroni, crackers, (anything carbohydrate), all fruits (except cantaloupe - who can blame him), and will even try most everything we put on his plate. he is no longer given any sort of "pass" on dinner and has to eat whatever we've fixed. he will now try things like brussels sprouts, cabbage, zucchini, broccoli, squash, corn, sun dried tomatoes, cucumbers, etc.

he's being treated for asthma now and has been on a q-var inhaler for over 3 months now and it has nearly cured all of his previous "allergy" issues. he breathes much better, has much less nasal drainage, and gets a good night's rest when he lays down. the team of doctors (primary, asthma, ent, and a speech therapist) all agree that it may be beneficial to have his tonsils removed. we'd not heard this from anyone until three weeks ago, and now almost everyone seems to be on board with thinking this could help his snoring when he sleeps and possibly/maybe help him with some speech delays. however, his routine therapist disagrees and says it likely won't make a change with his speech, and so she did not recommend it. so, this puts us in a quandary and we just have to pray on it and see where the good Lord leads us on this journey.

we're all over here still praying for dax's baby sister. he sometimes mentions her name in an off-hand kind of way and it makes me wonder if he knows something we don't. but it's rather sweet to hear him pray for her by name, say she'll be his best friend, and hear him tell others whose room that is upstairs. he loves her already, just as much as mommy and daddy do, even though we haven't yet met her. we did finally learn that we raised $1000 on our texas roadhouse fundraiser we did back in august. we are pumped about those extra funds and some money given to us by namaw and poppie which has helped to bring up our funds quite significantly. we're so grateful for everyone's support, love, and prayers. we'll keep you posted should we hear any news, but until then, we'll just keep waiting on God's perfect timing and keep searching for Bliss!

searching for biologicals

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 02:21:00 +0000

have you ever wanted something so badly for someone but felt helpless in the process of trying to help them?

that's how we feel in trying to help our sweet sister find any of her biological relatives. she was adopted after being in foster care in the mid-seventies. we are just looking for one shred of information, one tiny detail, one little link in the chain - something, anything, just to get us one step closer to obtaining any sort of information that could help her locate a biological relative.

she's the reason we have an open adoption with our son's birth family. nobody should have to yearn their entire life to know this information.

if anyone sees this and can pin it, copy it, paste it, share it - in any capacity we'd sincerely appreciate it! you never know who you'll reach - someone who knows somebody who knows someone who knows something!

e-mail any information to: ocneyesblue@gmail.com

adoption fundraising

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 21:41:00 +0000

we're excited that texas roadhouse agreed to partner with us to do a fundraiser night. they generously offered to create an account with with our adoption agency and to have a night where 10% of all receipts (placed in a bucket) would be donated to our account to aid in our second adoption. we created the above flyer, which can be found in full format here. we're been sharing it on social media with friends, family, and our local community. we're hoping to have a good turn out that day. it's going to be a fun fundraiser because none of the guests have to spend anything extra, and there's no craft projects that come along with it! we'll be manning a table, handing out flyers, and urging and encouraging everyone to put their receipt in the bucket!

fundraising is hard work, and it's basically my second job at the moment. there are some weeks that i focus on it quite a bit, and others where i just don't have time. however, last time we adopted we did not do any fundraising and we really got underwater with all of the expenses. we're hoping to go about this in a more educated fashion this time.

we're so grateful to all who have helped us by purchasing books, shopping in our Etsy store, ordering t-shirts, shopping with our amazon link, and just making cash donations. every little bit adds up and we'll be at our goal before we know it!

searching for bliss

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 03:04:00 +0000

we got great news this week - our profile has gone active with bethany! it's pretty amazing how things all work out. we were reminded by facebook that we went active on our first adoption on june 10th of 2011. it's crazy that they're so close together! it's hard to believe that time has just flown by since we were last in process and waiting. this time around we really drug our feet a lot more on getting paperwork turned in etc. just because we have sweet dax to devote our time to. however, we're all super excited to be a waiting family that will be welcoming a new addition into the home when God's timing is right. we're praying for our sweet baby and their tummy mommy and we cannot wait to meet the little one that God has planned to join our family.

while we wait we'll be finishing up the nursery, working on little art projects for the room, and continuing to raise money on Etsy, through the sale of Mommy's Freckles, through donations, and an upcoming fundraiser night at Texas Roadhouse.

to view our online profile just click the link below.

online profile

our online family video will be added to our profile shortly. in the meantime, here is the link for that as well:

online video

on a potty

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Fri, 15 May 2015 21:09:00 +0000

sweet boy posing for pictures at Easter.

dax is growing up so quickly! every day we look at him and just wonder where did our baby go? he is such a handsome fellow!

last week was our first major focus on potty training and we knew dax was ready. we'd half heartedly tried before, but it just wasn't sinking in. we'd previously gotten him to go pee pee in the potty, but it would take him a very long time to get the job done and he'd never alerted us to the fact he needed to go. this time we let him pick out a toy and he selected "fred" from big hero 6. we let him buy the toy and then we put it on our mantle so it could stand for some motivation. we explained to him that if for the next week he tried his best to go pee pee in the potty all week long that one week later he could get "fred". the very next morning was sunday. he decided after breakfast that he'd like to wear big boy underpants to church. will and i were slightly unsure, but we know that our boy has determination. we reminded the sunday school teacher that this was his first outing in big boy undies and they noted they'd frequently remind him.

it was a long two hours during church and sunday school. i was just curious how our little one was doing and i was praying things were going well for him. when ss was over i rushed through the halls and was excstatic to see him in the same shorts we dropped him off in! after we picked him up will took him potty at church and then on then we headed out to the playground so he could burn off some energy. after playing he told will he needed to go potty so we went back inside the church to let our big boy go once more. he did so well on his first outing so we let him go to school on monday in big boy pants.

our handsome boy at Easter.

he had a couple of accidents after school early that week, but none at school. thursday and friday he had zero accidents and now frequently asks to "go a potty"! after he'd done so well all week long he asked for "fred" on friday night while we were working on the nursery together. i told will i thought it was definately well deserved, even 12 hours early. we let him get "fred" off the mantle and we ceremoniously unwrapped and presented him to dax. he was giddy happy. he calls "fred" his fire toy since he shoots fire from his belly. since last friday time he's only had a handful of accidents and has done amazingly well at alerting us and holding it. we could not be more proud of his accomplishments!

hooray!

for now we're still using diapers at night time when he goes to bed, but we'll be working on that next. we're in the home stretch so we can save diapers for the baby that's working its way to our family!

where we're at in process

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Tue, 12 May 2015 00:33:00 +0000

we had our homestudy visit mid-april and our social worker told us it would take about a month to get it written up. she also needed to meet with a pastor from our church to include in the write up. while we waited on that to be completed we worked to finalize most of the nursery so we could get a picture included in our profile book.

this past saturday husband finished folding all of the origami doves to be included in the baby's mobile that hangs over her crib. it was a labor of love and one that i have not patience for. thankfully husband is great at origami and once again reignited the fuel that helps those fingertips fold, crease, fold and repeat. after the doves were completed i threaded them with fishing line and then strung a series of gold or silver beads on each one before hanging them on a branch from the trimming of our crepe myrtle trees.

we're really happy with how it came out and dax thinks its swell! he tries to jump and reach the birds every day. he told us he thinks the baby will like it. so glad he approves.

we still have to find an old dresser to re-purpose into a changing table, but i'm kind of picky with what i am looking for - so it may be a while until we find just the right thing. once that's in place we're going to hang about 20 paintings and pictures on that wall and then we'll get this wrapped up.

aside from that we've got some continuing education credits to complete as well as working on a profile slide show to go online. once we're given the green light on our profile book we'll work on the slide show so as to not overlap the photos we select. almost there!

building a profile book and a nursery

noreply@blogger.com (will + adri) — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 04:14:00 +0000

things are moving in the phases of our next adoption, but they are moving slowly. we're happy with where we're at right now, but it's definitely a slower pace than we experienced last time. last time we spent every waking moment pushing things along, and this time we're just letting them happen as they do with no added pressure. we submitted our last round of paperwork mid-november and got a letter last week confirming it was all processed and verifying that we accept the fee terms.

while we wait for our homestudy appointments to be scheduled we're working on the nursery so that we can complete our profile book. today we had the nursery painted cathedral gray (i love gray) and this weekend we'll be working on rebuilding the crib and setting it up. we've still got to order curtains, but a crib bumper is on the way, and the crib skirt is already here. i'll be painting a large painting for one wall and then will is going to create some origami doves to hang for a mobile. i love decorating, so this is the fun part to me. will is a good helper, but i am sure he'll be glad when this part is all over.

i love having our nursery prepared well before the baby comes home. for starters i love being prepared and i think i'd go a little whack-a-doodle if i brought a baby home and they didn't have a room. secondly i love to go into the nursery and just sit and and think about and pray for the baby that will one day call this their room. however, most importantly i love to put pictures of the nursery into the profile book so that expectant parents who review our book can visualize what the baby might be coming home to. i know i'd want to see it, so i think whomever chooses us would like to see it too.

the profile book is just about complete, save for the two pages dedicated to the nursery photos. i love creating profile books, but i agonize over every picture, every word (and then will agonizes over every word too), every page layout, font, colors, etc. it gets obsessive at times. i complete a mock up and then i review it and edit it multiple times over a month or longer. we want to be 100% happy with it before i share it with anyone and before we submit it to our agency for approval and ordering.

we saved a copy of the profile book we created when searching for dax and now it rests in his closet with the rest of his other books. we still love it. we hope he'll save it as a memento of a chapter of our waiting process and search for him. hopefully the next little one that finds their way to us will also treasure theirs too.