Check out the failed robbery video. It’s always good to have a CCTV installed at home. After all, Malaysia isn’t that safe.

Recently, I met a man who had Lymphatic Cancer – Stage 4 with 123 lymph nodes affected. His cancer started in March 2008.

Affected parts: 1st: Right lung, 2nd: Left lung, 3rd: Groin, 4th: Eye and 5th Mouth.
After 9 chemo therapies he stopped the treatment on 10/11/2008 because 5 specialists said he can only survive for 3 months. Today, after more than 2 years, he has recovered and is still living. Thanks to the Sabah Snake Grass (Clinacanthus) which he planted outside his house.
He blended the leaves with green apple (minus skin and seeds) and drank them after breakfast everyday.

After 3 days, 6 tumours disappeared.
After 13 days, he went for a blood test.The oncologist said that he was 96% cured.

So far more than 200 people who had taken the herbs showed improvement.

Case 1) Man – age 54
Lung Cancer: 3rd stage.
Chemothrapy 6 times
Tumour before taking Sabah Snake Grass 29mm, 44mm, 76mm
Tumour two weeks after taking Sabah Snake Grass
reduced to 20mm, 27mm, 67mm respectively

Case 2) Woman
Uterus cancer – tumour size 6cm
Scheduled for surgery. After taking SSG, reduced to 3.5cm.
Doctor said no need to operate
Continue taking the SSG, the tumour disappeared.

Case 3) Man
Prostate Cancer
After taking SSG for 11 days, the tumour disappeared.

Case 4) Woman from KL
Breast and Lung Cancer
Both breasts removed – 4 stage. Very weak, cannot eat,
on drip and lying in hospital.
Family member poured SSG juice into her mouth through tube.
After a few days, could eat and was discharged.
28 days later was all tumours disappeared.

Case 5) Woman from Taiping
Breast Cancer
After taking SSG for 3 days, the wound dried up.

Case 6) Leukemia Patients
So far 4 cases have been cured after drinking SSG juice.
They also drank juice from 3 leaves of Guo Sai Por
(Ti Tham Tou) once per week.

Case 7) Dialysis Patients
After taking SSG for 10 days, stopped going for dialysis
treatment

Case Patients with High Cholesterol, High Blood, High Uric Acid
and Diabetes
After taking SSG, the conditions improved.

How to consume?

Number of leaves used for treatment for Cancer:
Stage 1 : 30 leaves everyday
Stage 2 : 50 leaves everyday
Stage 3 : 100 leaves everyday
Stage 4 : 150 – 200 leaves everyday
When the patients get better, reduce the number of leaves.

Direction for juicing SSG
a) Pour half cup of clean water in a blender
b) Add 1 or 2 ice cubes to prevent heating during blending
c) Add 1 quarter of lemon or half a lime juice (provide Vitamin C and prevent oxidization )
d) Wash the required fresh SSG leaves and put them into the blender
e) Peel a green apple and remove the core/seeds
f ) Cut the apple into 8 pieces
g) Put in the pieces of apple
h) Blend and drink immediately or within 5 minutes. (consume daily)
I ) If your body is “cooling” add a few slices of ginger or drink warming herbs

Food to avoid : Sugar and products made with sugar, honey, kembong fish, ray fish, 7 angled-fish, chicken meat, duck meat, yam, glutenous rice, margarine, durians, bird nest, ginseng and other rejuvenating herbs.

Besides SSG, papaya, apricot seeds, lemon grass and many types of fresh raw vegetable and fruit juices can also be used for treating cancer.

I believe all chronic diseases can be cured with the combination of detoxification, maintaing blood Ph 7.35-7.4, increasing body oxygen, eating natural nutrients and herbs, a healthy lifestyle and good eating habits. There are quite a number of patients with cancer and other chronic diseases recovering and got cured based on my coaching above and natural treatments.

Details of plant

Scientific name: Clinacanthus nutans
English name: Snake plant
Chinese name: 鰐嘴花, E zui hua, 扭序花, Niu xu hua, 竹節黃, Zhu jie huang, 小接骨, Xiao jie gu, 柔刺草, Rou ci cao, 青箭, Qing jian, 鵝嘴花, E zui hua, 憂遁草, You dun cao, 沙巴蛇草, Sha ba she cao
Malay/Local name: Kitajan, Gendis.

We think this is 99% accurate. What do you think?

1. They are very weird people.
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyse conversations in layers.
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
6. They hate each other.
7. You’lll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.
8. They cant change a light bulb or without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
13. They make collages with your photos.
14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.
15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.
16. They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.
17. They ask your opinion about everything but they do whatever they want.
18. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.
19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
21. You can not decorate the house without consulting them.
22. They steal street signs.
23. Always carry their hands painted with something.
24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
27. Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
28. They hate Excel.
29. They read comics.
30. They want to save the world only with a poster.
31. You will spend the day brainstorming.
32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.
33. Museums are their second home.
34. They know more positions than the Kamasutra.
35. They cannot go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
36. They listen to music you have never heard of.
37. They can’t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …
39. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
40. They have own iPods before you knew they existed.
41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
42. They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.
43. They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store.
44. You will never understand their gifts.
45. They see ordinary objects and laugh.
46. You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming “€œWhen is the deadline?”
47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.
48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.
49. They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.
50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.

via http://wp.me/pUDpy-l3

If you love part 1, I’m sure you’ll love part 2 as well!

If you like part 1, I’m sure you’ll love part 2, 3 and 4.

There are 81 photos in this series. Enjoy!

ARTICLE 1
Bros before hoes. The bond between two men is stronger than that between a man and a woman because on an average, men are stronger than women. That’s just science.

ARTICLE 2
A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it. For example… If only one Spanish dude were to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would have been like “Dude, come on!!”. The license to be stupid is why we have bros in the first place.

ARTICLE 3
If a bro gets a dog, it must be atleast as tall as his knee when full grown. Corollary to this states, naming a lap-dog after a pro-wrestler or a character from a Steve McLain movie does not absolve a bro from this article.

ARTICLE 4
A bro never divulges the existence of the bro code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason.
NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within.* Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.

ARTICLE 5
Whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports.

ARTICLE 6
A bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other bros in a gym locker room. Corollary to this states, if a bro gets naked in the locker room, all other bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while at the same time immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. If your towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes.

ARTICLE 7
A bro never sends a greeting card to another bro. There are no sentiments between two bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail.

ARTICLE 8
A bro never admits he can’t drive stick even after an accident.

ARTICLE 9
Should a bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow bros will not make lame jokes such as “Gimme three” or “Wow!! Quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball!!” It’s still a hi-five and that bro still has a lot of balls, metaphorically speaking of course.

ARTICLE 10
A bro will drop whatever he is doing and rush to help his bro dump a chick. It’s normal for a bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chick in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump an chick in 6 words or less…
– “Maybe try a side salad instead.”
– “Cute!! You ‘re growing a moustache too!!”
– “She looks like a younger you!!”
– “I will finance a boob job.”
– “Sorry I threw your shoes out.”
– “Your sister let me do that!!”

ARTICLE 11
A bro may ask another bro to help him move. But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way.

ARTICLE 12
Bros do not share dessert.

ARTICLE 13
All bros shall dub one of their bros his wingman.

ARTICLE 14
If a chick enquires about another bros’ sexual history, a bro shall honor the Br-ode of silence and play dumb. Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

ARTICLE 15
A bro never dances with his hands above his head.

ARTICLE 16
A bro should be able to recite anytime the following reigning champions: Super bowl, World series and Play Mate of the year.

ARTICLE 17
A bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers unless they are beneath him on the pyramid of screaming. America was built on the backs of men and women who were yelled at to work harder and the tradition has been screamed to generation from generation. But you just can’t scream at anybody. You can only scream beneath you.

ARTICLE 18
If a bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group.
Note: To avoid confrontation it’s a good idea to jettison the receipt before returning to the party.

ARTICLE 19
A bro shall not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro shall not get angry if another bro says “Dude, your sister’s hot!!”. Corollary, it is probably better for everyone if bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other bros are coming over. When in doubt refer to the check list for bro-proofing your home.

ARTICLE 20
A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they’ve selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday.

ARTICLE 21
A Bro never shares observations about another Bro’s smoking-hot girlfriend. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying “she’s smoking-hot, huh?” a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he’s the only one who should be baiting.

ARTICLE 22
There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro. Women make excellent bros because they can translate and navigate the confusing and contradictory whims that comprise the chick code (Chick do have the chick code!!).

ARTICLE 23
When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women’s athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.

ARTICLE 24
When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

ARTICLE 25
A Bro doesn’t let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name. The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts 83 days. The relationship between man and his skin lasts a life time and must be nurtured because the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has.

ARTICLE 26
Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

ARTICLE 27
A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool or the beach. Corollary, a bro with a coat of fur on his back, keeps that thing covered at all times even at resort, pool or beach.

ARTICLE 28
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a fight between two fellow human beings of the female variety. If an informed bro is unable to witness the fight first hand, a spotter bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of girl fight via pictures, video or, barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime.

ARTICLE 29
If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40pm. Also despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.

ARTICLE 30
A Bro doesn’t comparison shop.

ARTICLE 31
When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

ARTICLE 32
A Bro doesn’t allow another Bro to get married until he’s at least thirty.

ARTICLE 33
When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, “What is this, a chicks’ restroom?” if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to basketball toss his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball…rebounding is optional.

ARTICLE 34
Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil’s Three-way.

ARTICLE 35
A Bro never rents a chick flick.

ARTICLE 36
DD: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.

ARTICLE 37
A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly they’re not that heavy.

ARTICLE 38
Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

ARTICLE 39
When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her. The reason is Bro-flation. An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day, and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day. Before you know it, bros the world over will find themselves trapped in relationships and all because you couldn’t wait 96 little hours.

ARTICLE 40
Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as “a bachelor party.”

ARTICLE 41
A Bro never cries. Exceptions- Watching Field of Dreams, ET or a sports legend retire (only first time he retires).

ARTICLE 42
Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

ARTICLE 43
A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn’t America.

ARTICLE 44
A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro. Exceptions – If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.

ARTICLE 45
A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club. Reasons – a) Cloth pockets are roomier and elastic allowing for a thicker wad of cash. b) Denim clashes with the club’s leopard, zebra or other safari animal motif. c) One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER – Zipper. d) It’s a performance and deserves respect. e) You don’t feel it as much on your… you know what..

ARTICLE 46
If a Bro is seated next to some dude who’s stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has (a) taken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.

ARTICLE 47
A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.

ARTICLE 48
A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he’s banged. Corollary – A bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.

ARTICLE 49
When asked, “Do you need some help?” a Bro shall automatically respond, “I got it,” whether or not he’s actually got it. Exceptions – Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking an expensive car and loading an expensive TV on to an expensive car.

ARTICLE 50
If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro’s undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

ARTICLE 51
A Bro checks out another Bro’s blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

ARTICLE 52
A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every not and again probably wouldn’t kill him.

ARTICLE 53
Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice.

ARTICLE 54
A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Paddy’s Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year’s Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)

ARTICLE 55
Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.

ARTICLE 56
A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Bro-flation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

ARTICLE 57
A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.

ARTICLE 58
A Bro doesn’t grow a moustache. Exception – While shaving it’s more than ok for a Bro to keep the whiskers around his mouth till the end so that he might temporarily experiment with different facial hair configurations.

ARTICLE 59
A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive (Crazy expensive bail >(years you’ve been bros) x $100)

ARTICLE 60
A Bro shall honor they father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.

ARTICLE 61
If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro’s anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

ARTICLE 62
In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there. *Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.

ARTICLE 63
A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection. Bro-tection forms a central pillar or, more accurately, a plastic coating for the central pillar of the Bro way of life.
While not legally or physically responsible for any repercussions of failing to provide protection, it’s not uncommon for a Bro to experience pangs of guilt after a fellow Bro becomes infected with a disease. Some of which, such as children, can last an entire lifetime.

ARTICLE 64
A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro’s favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.

ARTICLE 65
A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros. Exception – A Bro is off the hook if a Bro orders a drink with an umbrella in it.

ARTICLE 66
If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a ‘that sucks, man’ and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary – deserved or not – regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

ARTICLE 67
Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

ARTICLE 68
If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent. Exception – Dry spell trumps hot streak.

ARTICLE 69
Duh.

ARTICLE 70
A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro’s trip or general well-being.

ARTICLE 71
As a courtesy to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party. Three Bros are cool – Three amigos, Three musketeers, The police, Apollo 13 Astronauts and the Three stooges. Four Bros are lame – Mount Rushmore, The Fantastic Four, The Monkeys and Michael Jordan’s team mates.

ARTICLE 72
A Bro never spell-checks.

ARTICLE 73
When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.

ARTICLE 74
At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car in front of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he’ll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.

ARTICLE 75
A Bro automatically enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him to a chick. Chicks like to stretch the truth about their age, promiscuity and sometimes, with the help of extensive make-up and structural lingerie, even their body shape. As such, it is a fair game for Bros to exaggerate reality when asked about their Bro-fession.

ARTICLE 76
If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say “I love you” he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone.

ARTICLE 77
Bros don’t cuddle.

ARTICLE 78
A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman. Rack jack is to steal your wingman’s chick. To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between the Bro and his wingman, it is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand on the Bro code, raise his right hand, and recite the wingman pledge.

ARTICLE 79
At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall light-heartedly pretend he’s not mortified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.

ARTICLE 80
A bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle (engaging in a threesome), short of completing the tricycle himself. The total age of all the three should be less than 83.

ARTICLE 81
A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

ARTICLE 82
If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize to make amends. That’s inhuman.

ARTICLE 83
A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever ” love” thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker. Exceptions – Coworker is an 8 or better, you are superior to the coworker, coworker dresses a little slutty, company recently sued for sexual harassment, someone makes a bet that you can’t, you are switching floors soon, you and coworker get stuck in elevator, coworker soon to be fired, coworker hits on you, coworker going through divorce, coworker not offended when you accidently email provocative self pictures to office.

ARTICLE 84
Bro shall stop whatever he’s doing and watch Die Hard if it’s on TV. Corollary – Also the Shawshank Redemption, Top Gun, first half of Full Metal Jacket.

ARTICLE 85
If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. Corollary – His Bros are required to whistle, even if they don’t know what they are whistling at.

ARTICLE 86
When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

ARTICLE 87
A Bro never questions another Bro’s stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.

ARTICLE 88
If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro’s car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.

ARTICLE 89
A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

ARTICLE 90
A Bro shows up at another Bro’s party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.

ARTICLE 91
If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call him by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname.

ARTICLE 92
A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance.

ARTICLE 93
Bros don’t speak French to each other.

ARTICLE 94
If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees from fully closed.

ARTICLE 95
A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. (The shoes tap, The eye redirect, The swift shin kick *D cups and up only, please*)

ARTICLE 96
Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire.

ARTICLE 97
Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro’s college’s ass all over the field this weekend.

ARTICLE 98
A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.

ARTICLE 99
A Bro never asks for directions when lost. Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area. A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost. A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he himself is not lost at all.

ARTICLE 100
When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection. Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he’s not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

ARTICLE 101
If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

ARTICLE 102
A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.

ARTICLE 103
A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.

ARTICLE 104
The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing…provided she looks good in it…but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes.

ARTICLE 105
If a Bro is not invited to another Bro’s wedding, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, even if, let’s face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It’s cool. No big whoop.

ARTICLE 106
Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night.

ARTICLE 107
A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.

ARTICLE 108
If a Bro forgets a guy’s name he may call him “brah”,”dude”, or “man” but never “Bro”.

ARTICLE 109
When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contrary.

ARTICLE 110
If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.

ARTICLE 111
If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.

ARTICLE 112
A Bro doesn’t sing along to music in a bar. Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke. Exception to exception: No chick songs.

ARTICLE 113
A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
Acceptable age difference formula: Chick’s age = (Guy’s age divided by 2) + 7

ARTICLE 114
If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.

ARTICLE 115
A “clothing optional” beach doesn’t really mean “clothing optional” for Bros.

ARTICLE 116
A Bro shall not kill another Bro or that Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

ARTICLE 117
A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel. Corollary – It is fully expected that a Bro will try anything to gain possession of the remote upto and including an attempt to flatulate his Bro out of the room.

ARTICLE 118
When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

ARTICLE 119
When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar…a Brotorcycle.

ARTICLE 120
A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.

ARTICLE 121
Even if he’s never skied before, a Bro doesn’t trifle with the bunny slope. Corollary – If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings or the conditions.

ARTICLE 122
A Bro is always psyched. Always.

ARTICLE 123
Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from “Beat It” which, I guess, two Bros shouldn’t do anyway, or at least not very often.

ARTICLE 124
If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

ARTICLE 125
If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

ARTICLE 126
In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

ARTICLE 127
A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying “I love you, man” to all his Bros.

ARTICLE 128
A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code…half naked from the waist up, naturally.

ARTICLE 129
If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

ARTICLE 130
If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

ARTICLE 131
While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car’s ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he’ll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

ARTICLE 132
If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a “no sex” penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ.

ARTICLE 133
A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro. Exception – Pull my finger.

ARTICLE 134
A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

ARTICLE 135
If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot: (a) foot race to the car, (b) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (c) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.

ARTICLE 136
When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested “It was okay”. A Bro can never bring a camera back from a bachelor party. The only memento a Bro is allowed to bring back is something that can be destroyed by penicillin.

ARTICLE 137
When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.

ARTICLE 138
A real Bro doesn’t laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin. Exception: Unless he doesn’t know the guy.

ARTICLE 139
Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, “Broadway” begins with “Bro”.

ARTICLE 140
A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law).

ARTICLE 141
A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he’s trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) its been longer than a month since his last manicure. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.

ARTICLE 142
A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

ARTICLE 143
When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro’s hand.

ARTICLE 144
It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it’s still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

ARTICLE 145
A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

ARTICLE 146
A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros. Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that.

ARTICLE 147
If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro’s back. Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy. If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week. If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody’s back.

ARTICLE 148
A Bro doesn’t listen to chick music…in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

ARTICLE 149
A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.

ARTICLE 150
No sex with you Bro’s ex. It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro’s ex. Violating this code is worse than killing a Bro.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!
6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!
7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explorers for quick meals to thwart off starvation.
8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!
10. Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.
11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.
12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.
13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Our Birth is our Opening Balance!
Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.

Some very Good and Very bad things …
The most destructive habit……. …….. …..Worry
The greatest Joy……… ……… ………… …Giving
The greatest loss…….. Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work…….. …….Helping others
The ugliest personality trait……. … …..Selfishness
The most endangered species….. ….Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource…. ………. …Our youth

The greatest ‘shot in the arm’…….. ..Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome…. …….. …Fear
The most effective sleeping pill……. Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease….. … …….Excuses

The most powerful force in life…….. ………… . Love
The most dangerous act…… ..A gossip
The world’s most incredible computer…. . ….The brain
The worst thing to be without….. ………… ….. Hope

The deadliest weapon…… …….. ……….The tongue
The two most power-filled words……. …….. ‘I Can’
The greatest asset……. ………. …….. ….Faith
The most worthless emotion … ……… ….Self- pity

The most beautiful attire…… ……… ……..SMILE!
The most prized possession.. …….. …..Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication. ……Religion
The most contagious spirit…… ………. ……Enthusiasm

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring, And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing…!! !

A little boy goes to his father and asks ‘Daddy, how was I born ?’

The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

“You got Male!”

Wife is like TV
girlfriend is like MOBILE phone

At home watch TV
go out bring MOBILE

No money, sell TV
Got money change MOBILE

Sometimes enjoy TV
but most of the time play with MOBILE

TV is free for life
but MOBILE? if you don’t pay, the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old!
But MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable
MOBILE is high and often demanding

TV got remote
MOBILE don’t have!

Most important, MOBILE is two-way communication (talk and listen)
but with TV you ONLY listen (ie nagging)

Last but not least! TVs don’t have virus, MOBILE, are prone to VIRUS!