Fabled-Façade

Moved!

2008-08-04T16:00:00.002+04:00

Hey,
I'm closing this blogsite.

Visit me at my new blog add: http://fabledfacade.wordpress.com

Cya!

Comment on some Malay politician' bullshit

2008-03-14T11:09:00.003+03:00

article from The Star

Personally, if I am a Malay...I will feel so insulted by his comment about Malays and NEP.

“We (Umno) have to really sit down and think. It looks like the educated Malays do not care about Malay rights anymore,” he said when contacted.

“The Malay doctors, lawyers, engineers feel they have made it on their own merit.

The Malays are saying ‘you can’t scare us by talking about us losing our rights, because we are here on our own merit’.”

Did he mean that there are certain race that can't survive any competition in this big world without "handicap(s)" ??? That they will perish or reduce to helpless, useless race if their born priviledges are taken away. Wake up man. The only people who benefited from this NEP are u people - not the Malays but the Malays politicians who are rich and getting richer every single day.

FYI, the Malays youngsters that u people sent out for degree studies as part of the NEP...they have brains kay, and I believed that they earned their degrees rightfully. They did it on their own merits. U think those medical students u sent to Russia - the Russian lecturers gave them good marks because they are Malays? They dont give a shit kay. And these graduates see the real world n not the so-called protective world u created for them. They see that no one give a damn about their Malay heritage but those can compete, they survived. Have u ever heard of "survival of the fittest"?

What is a Malay rights btw? What the people/rakyat demand are the Malaysian rights. So what if u guys were here in Malaysia first? That is freakin centuries ago! This is the 21st century man!
And by ur little comments, u insulted every Malaysian k. We the non-bumis are not 2nd-class citizens of Malaysia. We did not sit and 'goyang kaki' and wait to be fed by Malays. We help develop Malaysia into what it is now. We are Malaysian!

“Every wakil rakyat will have to work to win the hearts of the people. This is good for Malaysia because, at the end of the day, it is the rakyat who benefits,” he said.

This is the only thing u say it right but erm, talk but no action leads to nothing. Either get out from ur 'tempurung' and start being a real wakil rakyat Malaysian (fyi Malaysian=Malays, Chinese, Indians), or I personally do not think u will survive the next elections.

My word abt the elections - I'm happy with the results. U want a chance, we gave it to you.
Now can you please start delivering your promises and stop all these childish conflicts? We are not some kind of treasure chest la!

Remember wat Spidey's uncle said, "With great power, comes great responsibility"

Maybe....Maybe Not

2008-02-26T21:34:00.002+03:00

maybe this blog will be reactivated again...kua. I guess it's just one of those days.

By the way, if anyone is wondering....

I AM NOT DEAD.

Hot for Nuffnang (crappy title, I know)

2007-05-30T11:44:00.000+04:00

Right now, I'm baking in my room. No, I'm not baking cake...wat i meant was I''m self-baking. It is so so damn hot here. As hot as any typical day in Malaysia minus the rain n air-cons. Come on, we practically jump from one air-con place to another, or our car's air-con is always on full-blast mode.
Here, i think almost every students bought a standing fan edi. Haiyoh...*sweating like a pig edi, i know pig dun sweat...so sue me.*

Been a long time since my last post. Sorry folks, been busy NOT preparing for exam. Busy like a bee doin this n that for self-pleasure or for other ppl's pleassure. sigh....gota start preparing since everybody is now on frantic mode preparing n no one left to play with. If you cant change them, join them. So I mite go into a blog-hibernation mode soon....ok, not that it will make any difference right.

Oh yah, if anyone notice, I just added an ads "Nuffnang", did a lil' tweaking here n there. I'm not into making money with blogging. I blog for fun, not money mah. Besides, i dun think I'm good enough as a blogger to generate 1000 visitors a day...i really respect those pr0-bloggers, wondering how they do it. And I dun think I'm interested to venture into Pay-perpost thingy. Not my cup of coffee n I dun have time (med school med school) hehe.

But I need money. N hoping it will be easy money. *wishful thinking* Maybe putting ads n the need of money can make me more motivated to blog often. hehe. Reason y i need money. Well, I want to have my own domain mah and more freedom in my blog. Donation anyone??? I promised it will be worthwhile..hehe.

So, Nuffnang. It is Asia First Blog Advertising Community established in Malaysia. Malaysia Boleh!!! It seem to have give out alot of goodies...esp free screening of Pirates of Carribean (aiyoh...y now la n not later when I'm back) Their concept is similar to Google Adsense ...but more locally n easier for us, local ppl (I'm still a local k)
Btw, their ads are so cute! and their logo too! haha.

My LifeLog_, Uncategorized_, Blogger/Blogosphere_

My Savior My God

2007-05-05T10:25:00.000+04:00

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is,
My God He's always gonna be...

Yes living dying let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my king
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is,
My God He's always gonna be...

My Savior lives, my Savior loves (x2)
My Savior lives...

I always feel that I am the resourceful type of person. I like to find out everything that is new and interesting. I like to be updated. I like to have the newest version of so n so even if I’m completely happy with the current version. Few times, I scold myself for wasting money and download unnecessary, useless newer version of a program. Today was one of the day I like to surf around the internet, checking out updates and interesting news. When I read that a songwriter, Aaron Shust won awards for songwriter of the year and song of the year with “My Savior My God” in Nashville Dove Awards 2007, I need to get hold of that song even though I never heard of a Aaron Shust, and sometimes praise and worship songs can be a disappointment. But I just have to get it. Hehe.

I downloaded it. I listened to it for the 1st time. And it touched me so deeply. If I could write a song from my heart, this will be it (but I think it will be a very horrible, a reason why I am in med school)

I always wonder why I accepted Christ at the first place. Friends from school were shocked especially my Christian friends. My family couldn’t understand it – their headstrong daughter who is a self-proclaimed atheist and been patronizing their religious belief suddenly turned 180degree the next summer. Is it something in the Russia’s air? Was I tortured and brainwashed by fanatics? Alien abduction? I had a feeling that these thoughts were on my family and friends’ minds. For me, as I said I’m still wondering. I always have questions about life but no answers, no reasons. I questioned the existence of God and I knew my reasoning of his non-existence is not complete. Something is missing somewhere. Maybe also that life here is so boring that hey, the CF seem like a nice society to fool around. The people seem so happy there it irritates me wondering why. Or maybe it is something new and interesting?

I could not remember the exact chain of events but I remembered chatting online with a Christian good friend till wee hours debating about God and life. I remembered that her reasons solved some of my missing puzzles. I remembered feeling defeated in my cause but of course, I refused to admit that to her. I was still very skeptical about God’s existence and in my heart, there is this tingling ‘truth’ feeling I couldn’t ignore. Maybe it is this tingling feeling that led me to accept Christ. Weird right? And is it sufficient enough for me to change my direction? It is new and interesting all right but nobody tell me that I have to walk on a path with thorn bushes surrounding me. And it is like the more I learn about Christianity, the more it confuses me.

Like the song, I did find it strange why Christians were raving on and on that, Christ died for us all. Some became emotional about it and they never met Jesus Christ in person. God sent His only Son to die for us is strange. In fact, everything in Christianity is kinda strange and not logical, and that time I just accepted Christ. I thought I accepted the reasons of God and life, I accepted the teachings in the Bible and living in a ‘love bubble’ with one another is enough. But that tingling feeling surfaced again. And I realized people in the CF are not happy as they seem to be. It feels as if they are carrying this huge guilt burden and that is, the guilt of their sins and of course, Christ died for them.
How could one be ever happy if they let themselves carry that kind of burden? And we are not perfect being, wrongdoings bound to happen. Now what?
Yes, I admit I will never be skilled enough to understand God’s wills and plans. Or why He called me to follow Him knowing there are better people that will love Him a lot. I could only look at it retrospectively and said how lucky I am that God did things to make me follow Him. Even tough the path is really surrounded with thorn bushes, it just don’t matter cause simply, my Savior lives, my Savior loves and my Savior always there for me.

Hmmm….I noticed I raved a lot of the ‘disadvantages’ being a Christian and if I’m going to end my testimony with a simple, ‘advantageous’ statement, that is not good right? But I guess it is that simple really. The joy is so deep it is hard to explain. Oh, and I learned something completely different from all the life’s philosophies. I used to think living in the right-and-wrong codes of human conduct (morality) is very important. It is important but the most important thing is my God loves. He loves us even if we sinned. He is the best judge ever.

Indulging Faith_, Reflections n Musings_, Music Reflections_

Random Thoughts at 4am

2007-05-03T04:09:00.000+04:00

it is 4am on a school nite but I'm far far away from my parents plus I'm above 18 y.o plus I dont have class tomorrow. It gonna be a very very very very long day tomorrow.

Random Thought 1: Why I'm not sleeping now?
Never thought I will be stayin up so late tonight and doin nothing. Absolutely nothing. Hence the random thoughts and listening to music. And why I just cudnt get my butt off the chair and lie down on my comfort bed? Simply cuz someone spoilt my mood.

Random Thought 2: Operator 247....
An inside joke (not very funny actually) so dont bother. Seriously I thot it is very very lame but hey, I'm not on cloud 9 unlike sum Mary Jane/Louis Lane/Batman's lover who will be wiggling around at watever Spiderman/Superman/Batman duh~ said or do. They have this wow...understanding, electrifying connection. Wiggling. That is what lovebirds do when they say the stupidest thing to each other and they thought it was ..wat is the word again...ahhhh romantic. *puking*

Random Thought 3: Beware of wat u downloaded
My experience many years ago....I like a song from a new rock group. They came up with a video clip and it was cool. As a normal Malaysian teenager, I went into Kazaa and download it without really knowing wat I'm goin to download. Turned out...it was a video of the main singer and some guy "playing". I never listen to that song the same again. N I'm listening to it now...n hence the old "memories"

Random Thought 4: Self-righteous hypocrites (SRHs).
I just hate hypocrites....who wouldnt rite? Esp self-righteous hypocrites. They roam around telling other normal people that they have been very bad bad person and need to change bla bla bla, enabling those pitiful people to feel so low about themselves. But SRHs dont realize ...with great "power", come great responsibilities, greater expectations and judgments. And these SRHs, when the change of events happened to them, their so-called 'principals' vanished into thin air and give another bunch of reasons why it is ok for them to do exactly the opposite. N they think those people are dumb enuf to just accept it.

Random Thought 5: How....?
How many random thoughts I have?
How long more I can write till my arm breaks? Yes, i have this aching pain in my forearm.
How long more I must endure this?

Random Thought 6: Sumphero, concert.
I spent the whole evening blogging about the concert in the CF website (http://sumphero.vcfnn.org) and I think it was ok. Concert was ok. I like it. But personally, I dun want to remember it. Something in it ...nevermind.

Ok, thats it. I'm tired enuf to sleep and forget the whole day.

Reasons I blog today...

2007-04-26T22:45:00.000+04:00

A little excerpt from 5xmom's blog which I find it so true...

You know your blog is getting lame....when you start to copy and paste
email forwards, post Youtube videos, copy and paste technology and gadgets
stuffs eventhough thousands have blogged it, write something extreme and hope
someone notices or…. when you need to go and find meme that no one tags you and do it anyway.

And OMG....my blog is getting lame. Even I feel my life is so boring that the reason i blog today because I have nothing better to do! Sigh....I need some "beats" in my life. I need Scofield (that super-cute Prison Break guy), I need a change of environment and I need something something la.

When alot of my friends seem to be busy with the concert, I'm not. Not even abit enthu about it...actually hoping for it to be over soon. One reason is that I'm not doing anything for it (kinda left-out) and another reason is that I have no tickets to give my other friends. Even I dont have a ticket myself. Now that annoyed me! Hmmph.

The blog for the CF is done and open to all. I feel sad actually...I enjoyed doin it (eventhou I sucked at website designing) but hey, that is just me. I'm the type of person who enjoy the process, the journey not the result, the destination. Yeah. everytime I logged into the admin page, I think to myself...Now what? [I'm the type who enjoy playing Simcity cuz I enjoy building the city and then...creating many many natural disasters for the city.....Muahahaha] I dont know...let see how la. Hey, I promise I wont coincidentally accidentally wreck the blog, k.

Any more reason I blog today...? hmm, I cant wait to go back now to attend my aunty's 60th birthday bash. I dont know what kind of bash it will be but when my mum smsed n told me she is learning line-dancing for the bash....that is interesting. Hahaha. That is something i gotto see for myself. No way I'm goin to miss that even if I have to cram for my exam with my cycles.

sigh....i think i shud start thinking of activities to do, if not I'll die of boredom soon.

Ta-Ta...I'm goin to wreck other ppl's lives now.

Simply....

2007-04-23T14:02:00.000+04:00

Simply .... because I want to blog. Random thoughts. First of all, I'm bored. BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED!

Yeah, u get that message loud and clear. CF Concert coming up. For those who r wondering....dun worry, I'm not singin or involve in the worship team. I guess my 'tone-deaf' inability have something to do with it. Hey, I'm not being disgruntled here ok. I fit better behind the scene than right up onstage. But I'm feeling I dont really like to do all the donkey works just because of my inability.

Again....BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED! BORED!

This post is boring. I post simply because I want to blog.

Trial n Error

2007-04-18T12:06:00.000+04:00

Again, about Wordpress (kinda weird for me to be typing all this as this is blogsot, I felt I'm betraying them...wait a min, me no big fan of both of them). My task hasn't completed yet- that is managing a blogsite for the CF. I have re-modified the layout, colors, fonts etc with much difficulty. For a person who have very limited knowledge about HTML,CSS. designing website (I'm a dental student, remember)...my approach is simple - trials n errors. I read from a wordpress-pro's blog, that guy gave the most amazing Wordpress tip that is creating more Wordpress blogs. That's right, that simple. At first, I was very sceptical, almost wanna 'cekik' that guy...I thot I will get some useful info when I read the title "The most amazing Wordpress tip you'll ever read in your life". But it was just that - Build more.

Ignoring it, I went back to my work. Trials and errors. N it really didnt help that every changes I made, I have to wait for a min or two for the effect to come. I almost give up fixing a minor defect. I thot to myself, that is something I have to live with it. Not that anyone reading it will care alot about it. And then, somehow I managed to screw everything up. The details are best alone here. hehe. So, out of my frustrations - I backup things I cud, change everything to default setting n do it again. But this time, as I was re-modifying the blog, I find it easier than the first time. I kinda understand the meaning of the codes, and I kinda know what shud I do to get what I want. Codes, which still look like gibberish language, begin to make sense to me.

The blog is not perfect yet. Not exactly how I wanted at first. Heck,right now, I'm still waiting for some changes to come and it is taking so long...where is my calendar?!!~ But, I guess after talking to my media leader, he is right to say it is bloggable now and some changes can be added later.

Ok, so everybody...CF NNSMA's blog is finally 'open'. Please visit: http://sumphero.vcfnn.org and give ur comments, suggestions etc.

But, u shud know it is not really~ ready yet. The title havent fix yet. Waiting for the official name confirmation and banner design. The "About" page need some modification with the text - I wrote it but it is kinda crappy. The 'verse of the day' flash box is still out of allignment and where is my stupid calendar?!

Actually, this whole designing blog experience make me ponders a few things. The whole time, the fact I'm wasting my time n energy for something that is not mine (I didnt put in that much effort in my blog), I dont feel any negative emotions about it. In fact, I feel proud that I'm contributing something for the CF out of my own. Cuz I know, if this can help reaching out to others or maybe just maintaining the ties between our Christian students, it is worth it. And eventhough, I'm no genius in these matters, I did feel disappointed and wanting to give up, I feel in a way, God helped me. By knowing I'm doin something for Him, it encouraged me to push on. N yesterday, I read the Bible and came across this famous passage but I didnt dwell much into it before. Something like... "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in your weakness....." 2Cor 12:14. God telling Paul that His grace will help him live with his illness (or his thorns)
I thought to myself, I am not going to say defeat or be crippled by my lack of knowledge. I'll try n try again till the blog will be right.

Indulging Faith_, Reflections n Musings_

My Wordpress Nightmare

2007-04-12T19:15:00.000+04:00

Don't get it wrong. I'm still using blogspot. I was referring to the new blog my CF wanted to set up....and I'm helping. I feel bad actually, I felt I'm neglecting this blog. So many things I wanted to blog or tweak my layout but keep putting it off. Cuz in my mind, I feel I need to do the other blog first. sigh...Who say wordpress is user-friendly? I just cant manage it. The layout I mean. Nothing go accordingly to what I want. N worse still, it doesnt get update immediately. I have to refresh the browser after 5 min to get a preview of that mutilated blog. It is so so irritating!!!!

Does anyone have a good tutorial site for wordpress? I need help.

Beside that, I guess today had been ok. Snow melted, spring finally arrived, bla bla bla. Just feeling abit lonely and uneventful. Go to class, come back from class, had my lunch, watch a movie, took a nap, mutilating wordpress blog n now blogging. Yup, that is about it.

On the journey back from class (almost an hour bus ride), I have been pondering about stuff with 'Oh My God' from Jars of Clay playing from my mp3. Bad combination. Lonely&frustrated mood with sad,frustrated&strong beat song. I cant help but to dwell on the negative side of life. Haha, n I just said today has been ok. Well, it is. Hey...Doomsday is not here today wer.

What do u do when u realized people are not saying what they really want to say to u? N u know something is wrong but still they act ok 2wards u. Do u go along with them cuz u also duwan to face that reality? Or face them, and take steps for umm 'self-preservation' n I'm talking in psychological sense.

What do u do when u are carrying a heavy burden, n u really need to let it out...but u cant. Knowing that if u let it out and more seriously, u let it out on the wrong medium, things will go really really ugly. But keeping it in is killing u...also psychological sense.

What do u do....as two choices in front of u. Either u play along n pretend to be ok n happy, maybe u will eventually be really happy. Or the opposite because u r really really fed-up with things around u. U think u will be a matyr but everybody will think u r an idiot.

Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright?
If you dont shoot it how am i supposed to hold it
Is that alright?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

(Damien Rice - Nine Crimes)

Uncategorized_,Rantrantrant_

I went to school today...

2007-04-11T20:17:00.000+04:00

I went to school today to treat kids. 8 years old kids and I was traumatised at the end of the day!!! People always say kids scared of dentist. Actually, today...I am more scared of the kids than they are scared of me. Urrghhh!

As part of my oral hygiene cycle, I have to visit a school, make dental examination on the kids and apply topical sealants on their teeth if necessary. I went there yesterday to examine them actually, and today for treatment. Scary....the thoughts of me making a mistake or was rough with them, they cried out their lungs...then my teacher will scold me or worse, the angry-looking parents coming after me for messing with their kids. Luckily, none of these happened...phew! But there is this kid...haiyoh~! She gagged at the crucial point of the treatment. I dont know whether she is for real or not. Well, I dont think so lor since I did nothing that can make a person gag! All I did was isolate the tooth (back tooth) from saliva - meaning putting cotton swab around it n she just have to keep the mouth open. N I just have to clean the tooth surface, put some medication and lastly the sealant - a thin film on the tooth surface.

Well, at the end...thank God nothing bad happened. But I swear I will never specialize in children's dentistry.

Just a fast update on today's events before i forget it. Kinda in a mess now with stuff esp studies.

The Movie Meme!

2007-04-11T18:59:00.000+04:00

Thanks Yvy for letting me steal this meme. I know it is quite pathetic since u r supposed to be tagged to do a meme, not thick-face n steal it n do it(a lot of blogger grumble n cuss everytime they have been tagged....sniff sniff, I wan I wan.Tag me! Tag me!).

I.CANT.SEEM.TO.STOP.MYSELF. I am a self-proclaimed MOVIE-BUFF n thus...TA-DA

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
U mean 10times in a row or just 10times??? hahha...I can give u 10titles. Lemme see, Troy, Mission Impossible2,Gladiator,Cruel Intentions,Shall We Dance,Brothers Grimm, Ocean11, Something Gotta Give.....and alot more. (Notice that most movies have hot, cute guys in it...hehe.Except Something Gotta Give cuz every summer I'm force to watch it many many times with my mum till the dvd koyak! It can played till the part Keanu Reeve was invited to dinner in Diana Keaton's house...seee I can remember it exactly!)

2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.
Ummph...mostly the good movies I will go to the cinema to watch it at least 2-3times. I really dun mind wasting money in it.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
EDWARD NORTON!!! U can bet his movies are very good n worthwhile

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Jack Black. I cant stand him or his acting. uurgh!

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.
hmmm my fav....First rule of Fight Club is You do not talk about Fight Club, Second rule of Fight Club, u do not talk about Fight Club!

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Cant say the popular Sound of Music. Sorry yvy, not my era. muahaha. Phantom of the Opera!! with Gerard Butler.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
*blush blush* My Heart Will Go On....it just got overplayed n yes, I'm literally sick with it. Cant get it out of my head still.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
Wow...that is a tough one. So many choices. Okok, movies with Edward Norton in it! Esp Fight Club, 25th hour,Keeping the faith...

9. Name a movie that you own.
A lot la. I'm from Malaysia. Land of Pirated DVDs.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Fine...I admit Jay Chau is pretty good in "Curse of Golden Flower". But hey, dont all chinese singers become actors as well.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Nope....not a popular thing in Malaysia or Russia. Either u end up feeding the mosquitos or freeze to death.

12. Ever made out inside a theater?
I hate people talking in the cinema...I really do. So if my "someone" try to do something else n disturb my concentration.....POW! so the answer is no. hehe.

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
Alot la. Currently agonising about 300. Russia!(I'm not goin to spend money watching a dubbed movie..i wan to hear the real actors' voice!)

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
Tempted but no.

15. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
action and triller. n "thinking" movies.

16. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
I can only remember Beethoven. Not sure whether it was the first movie I watched or not.

17. What’s the one movie you wished you never watched?
IT!!!!!! N i watched it when I was a small kid. Damn damn scary. Till now, I'm scared of clowns and being alone in public shower room.

18. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
eXistenZ That is one movie I dont understand and didnt like it.

19. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
Hitch!!!!
Just4Laughs_

Let Go and Move Up

2007-03-30T18:05:00.000+04:00

My last post was about the bittered-me trying to justify something, or say something that will mean something. That part of me is gone. Have been contemplating whether or not to delete that post but I think I will leave it. Sort-of to remind myself why I shud let it go, and hehe, I need the numbers.

My theme now is just "Let Go and Move Up". Elaboration is not necessary here.

It has been a very busy week for me. It is Friday night and I'm exhausted. Both mentally and physically. Luckily I'm having Dental Surgery cycle now, and thank God I have a easy-going teacher and interesting class. I did my first tooth extraction...muahaha! I did 3 extractions to be exact. Ok, although I didnt really do it myself. I have the dentist guiding my hand but I did it. I was holding the forceps. I was injecting the anesthesia solution. I was pulling the tooth out. N I almost wanna puke being so close to the patients' mouth. Ummph, not that the patient has bad breath. But somehow, the moment the tooth came out from the socket, one kind of smell appeared. Maybe blood mixed with something in the socket...I don't know though I think I shud know. Blek!
Imagine....this is what I'll be smelling for the few decades. I guess I better get used to it. Haha.

One of my personal task now is to restore my faith in God (part...a big part of the 'moving up' thingy). N as Aze mentioned it long time before, the best way is to serve Him besides the usual constant devotions. To be exact, be active in the Christian Fellowship(CF) and church. With the new "management" now (we had an election for this new semester, and I am the secretary...again.darn~ I hate writing minutes), things in the CF has been quite different but in the UP direction. All the leaders are 'fired-up' now, a lot of activities planned and on the move, a lot of new faces and a lot of spiritual lives restore. There are 2 new teams - hospitality and media teams. We'll be having a spring concert soon...end of April. And next week in conjunction with Easter weekend, we'll be having a youth camp for believers and non-believers - the theme will be about relationship (BGR). And was quite suprised that a lot of ppl are joining. Hopefully everything will turn out alright. I guess, all this wouldnt happen if not because of His blessing, prayers from church leaders and if I can say so, a zealous president.

Me being me....I cant lay my hand off the media stuff. hehe~ The next few days, I'll be quite busy setting a blogsite for the CF. New challenge man. READ: WORDPRESS. All this time using blogspot, now I have to learn how to use wordpress. Yeah, I know....wordpress is supposely user-friendly but hey, I have a blogspot loyalty membership card k(metaphorically) N I duwan it to be just a blogsite...I wan it to be a good blogsite for the CF. Designing the theme, layout, maintain it properly and make sure it is active. Like people say, if we know we are doing for God, we will want to do the best we can. *sweating edi

Speaking of which, I dun think it can be called a miracle yet but wow...it feel too good to be true. When we decided to do a website/blogsite, we were thinking of doing it properly. Getting a webhost service and our own domain. And although the rates are about 100USD a year but that is alot for us n scary! Here, we have bookworms, no computer geeks. Not willing to risk so much money. Thinking of getting some sponsorship or something, and the moment, I mentioned the blog and webhost idea to our pastor....he said he just bought a webhost service from Yahoo! for our church's website. YAHOO! Meaning we cud just start the blog with the service...FOC. Hopefully in the next few days, the blog will be up and running in time for the Eastern weekend.
*sweating alot now

Ok, forgive me but I'm really excited now and all fired-up. hehe~ And all this excitement make me wana have my own domain too. Anyone care to sponsor me?

My LifeLog_, Indulging Faith_

A Rambler Rambling

2007-03-28T10:49:00.000+04:00

Today is a good day to ramble around. I have alot things to think, alot of things I duwan to think about and alot of things I am forced to think about. I dun have an exact header, points to say or something intelligent to write. Keeping quiet is maybe the wisest thing to do but I want to ramble.

I dunno how some people can always come up with something intelligent around the usual LIFE,WORLD, GOD, PEOPLE. FEELING words. Take for example, Grey's Anatomy - every episode opened with someone saying something that sometimes, hit ur head n u have to utter "wow, that is so true!". Of cuz they(the script writers) r professional. But I wondered what kind of mind or life they have to think of such things??? Actually, it is just for fleeting moment...I dun really care.

I did a spiritual gift test recently. It is a test to assess how well do u know urself or "ur gifts". No, not ur talents. Dun understand? Then google it...I think they will give u some free online tests n bible verses from Book of Corinthian. Surprisingly, I scored very high on "PERCEPTION" or "DISCERNMENT". My friend told me that my pastor's wife told her a day before the Bible study I have that gift. I dont know exactly wat it mean but I was told I can "see people". Not the I-can-see-them-SixthSense-type. But I can perceived a person's action n his/her thots pretty well. I dun think it mean I can read people's minds. Tat will be pretty scary huh....for u n for me.

Is it true? Maybe. Maybe not. Who know such things? Well, I think I do have it lor. But I think everybody can...if they just take away all those mind-numbing social niceties from their system. N think of humans nothing but selfish, self-absorbed and competitive. We r tuned into this system...believe it or not. Since when we really care if one of our friend is sick? We say things like 'hope u'll get better' to the person who been whining about her headache because we shud be nice. U r not really interested in her headache. N she not is not really interested to want to tok to u about it. She wants ur attention, the feeling that her friend care about her, someone in the world care about her headache. N you say those meaningless, insincere, overly-used courteous phrases so u n the other person can move on with life.
...Yah if u take it all out, u can perceived anyone's thots very well. So is it a gift or a curse? Because I dont really see the good points for it. It will eventually lead to the truth about people and bittered with the world.

My life seem to be constantly governed. By money, parents, friends, God and society. I keep on saying I dun give a damn...but I am forced to. If there is option out of this, I will really want to take it but at the same time, I will hesistate. I dunno why. I am rambling remember. Sometimes, right now with everything I said, I posted...What am I?

By the looks of it, I cant say I'm...

a Christian cuz I dun feel the love~
a human cuz I feel I'm a misanthropic
a good friend cuz if my friend told me so....then?

Do I really care? Probably I will just shove it under the carpet till something something kua.

CnP: Putting Christ in the very center of our lives

2007-03-22T19:25:00.000+03:00

*Thanks to the blog author of HaveFaith, I hope he/she dont mind I 'took' it. N sorry, I didnt know the link to the site wasnt working. I put it the wrong address.
I find this article very meaningful...maybe to me, eversince coming to Christ, I always struggle with this concept. Like what the author said, I managed to put Him in my life for 2-3days and then, I'm back with my old habits. Maybe to non-believers, they wont understand how I feel. To me, the idea 'live like no tomorrow' or 'seize the day' is just NOT enough for me. I came to Christ because I feel 'empty' and was seeking answer. God is the answer I found out. But, what I didnt understand...is that I still feel empty.
I believe this is the reason why. It is also the reason y I keep blaming Him and everyone when things went wrong, or thinking I shud just quit it because maybe I was wrong..maybe He is not the answer. But by thinking this way, it wouldnt make me feel any better....Maybe the best way is to not be so stubborn n change my way.

I was just watching an online Christian broadcast earlier today and the message for the day was a very important one; it’s something we all know by heart as practicing Christians, but it’s something we don’t often practice, either it’s simply because its too difficult, or we just don’t “see” the importance in it, and that is putting Christ the center of our lives.

It’s interesting enough most of us Christians, while week after week being constantly reminded to put God in the very center of our lives by our pastors and priests, we just “can’t seem to do it”. I for one, will only go so far in putting Christ first; the effect will wear off after 2-3 days and before I know it, I’ll be back to my old self habits.

And it’s strange in a way, because it’s not like we do not want Christ. It also doesn’t appear that we’re ignoring the Great I Am. I’m often reminded of the great young ruler (Mark 10:17), who despite having everything in life, still went up to Jesus and still wanted to know what more he could do earn eternal life.

That very young ruler’s heart is in all of us. We all have ambitions, we all want to be successful in life, but at the same time, we also want God.

But what does Jesus say instead?

“Go sell everything you own, give it to the poor, and come follow me”

To follow Jesus does not mean one should live in poverty. To follow Jesus is to put Him first, to put him in that very center part of our lives, and too often, we don’t really give Jesus that spot. Not too say we don’t love Him or we don’t honour Him, but it’s just that we often put other things; relationships, career plans, money, our basic primary needs; it’s often those things that occupy our hearts.

But don’t you feel frustrated, despite still having that dream job, or having finally met that special someone; despite having a huge bonus, a fat paycheck, an ultra-cool sports car, despite having everything, don’t you just feel empty, depressed, frustrated with life?
That’s because when God created our hearts, right at the center, He created a spot, a special spot that means so much to us, and He first filled it with His presence. But because of sin and pride, man somehow lost that spot that God once held and often time that spot is empty. The spot never has a permanent resident, and even if it does, it feel empty. And even today, we still continue to feel that void, because the wrong resident is staying in that spot.

Perhaps it’s time we invite the true resident of that spot. Perhaps its time we realize that Christ and Christ alone needs and CAN occupy that spot. Perhaps it’s time we give God His rightful spot in us.

Indulging Faith_

Travelled Destination: Greece - "The Making"

2007-03-22T17:00:00.000+03:00

This will be the 1st part of my holiday to Greece recently. Spent 14days in this really really beautiful country. Never expected it to be that wow~ wonderful. If I have a chance, I will come back again....visit those places we couldnt esp Santorini. Maybe for my honeymoon! hahaha day-dreaming edi...
Maybe compare to Russia, everywhere look and feel nicer, better n wonderful....sigh~

Our group consists of 4 gals and a guy. Noooo the guy is not lucky to have 4 gals surrounding him...boyfriend of one..so u know la. N he was our official ~~slave~~ .....we cudnt have did it better without him la.

First of all, our trip werent smooth at all. We had some problems getting visa to go out from Russia (ewww...) Seriously, i think the dean people...they meet up jz to come with ideas how to screw their students. We also had problem with air-tickets. But one thing, thank God we knew about the problem before we went to Moscow and thank God again, the problems managed to 'go away'.

Planning the trip werent that easy as I thought. I guess I have been spoiled since young. All I have to do during family holidays is pack my clothes, sit in the car and grumble the whole way. I grumbled on the way to Cameron Highland cuz it's boring(been there many times) and getting motion sickness. I grumbled bcuz of the long long journey to Terengganu and being woken up at 3am...cuz dad wana make it for the 10am boat ride. Except grumbling, I took no part in planning where to go, where to stay, what to do and of cuz, the financial matters. I just grumbled.
sigh~ while planning for this trip...I miss the good ol' times. Anything can happen with mum around. hehe.

The 1st task was to determine which places to visit. Choosing the city, the tourist attractions, the duration of visit, the transport, etc etc etc. Our original idea was to follow the footsteps of Paul in his missionary trip to Greece. Unfortunately, the cities he visited was either in ruins or it was very far away from the town n there were no public transport.
Goin there in winter has a disadvantage - most of the tourist places close very early in the day (3pm). And transportation-wise, either reduce amount of trips made or stopped service (for ferries). So taken that into consideration, we had to be very careful planning the cities we want to visit and booking hotels.
Also, we werent sure how many days should we spend on a city...originally we planned to visit 6 cities. In the end, we only managed to do 4. sigh...had to sacrifice Santorini. sniff sniff.

Luckily my mum sent a travel guidebook to me Lonely Planet:Greece...wow...that book really helped us with the planning. And it helped us to knowing the best place to visit, best and cheapest place to eat and...it helped us not to get lost. hehe.

I only found out I dont know how to book hotels. Was so used to my mum doing all this stuff. I dun know the difference between twin, double, shared, ensuite....bla bla bla. I dun know how to deal with hotel booking. Some websites have to pay by room, some pay by number. ppl staying. I wasnt sure if we book a twin room but 3 people staying..since we pay by room. I didnt do that la...scared they think we so ulu n kiamsap people.hehe.

Going to Greece during winter was to me...perfect timing. eventhough some places esp islands was closed and transportation problem. It was not as cold as in Russia...it feel like spring actually. It's quiet and not alot of tourists, we had undivided attention from hotel managers and local people who are very proud of their country.

Although the trip went smoothly...I think we did some costly mistakes esp transportation-wise.

What I learned from olanning and after the trip was:

Always choose the hotel situated in the city. Dun be fooled by the cheap bargains. We booked this hotel because of its cheap rates n we ended up spendin more on transportation n food. cuz it is situated in tourist beach area....something like Batu Ferringhi in Penang...N the town was a dead town during winter.

Because we were so scared about the trans and we wanted to settle this prob, we booked internal flights to 2 cities. We shud have waited till we r in Greece n think how to travel
around. Greeks travel around the cities mah....sure got way la.
Bring a good guidebook. It may be expensive but it will sure save u alot of troubles n money.
Make sure have a good company to go with. I learned to be more patient, be more tactful
n dun depends on other so much. Not to say I dun have a good company...I had one. I was jz thinking if I didnt, the whole holiday will be in tatters. We make a good team....Aze is
caring, logical, tactful and smart. She is the PR of the group. Rayyank is "the guy"...n he is
streetwise..the one leading the pack. Eileen..hehe the joker of the group and someone we can all 'tembak', YingRui the treasurer...good at keeping track of our expenses and logical person. Me...(still in 'kembang' phase) I have the book mah so I planned ahead abit, givin ideas what to do and where to go la...We always decide together,k. If I must say so...I am smart too. Hehe.

I guess that's about it - The Making of Travelled Destination: Greece. Our flight was on 22nd of January. We went to Moscow and stayed for a night, then the next early morning, we flew to Athens, Greece. Wow...I still could feel it. The excitement and the feeling of uncertainty spending 2weeks in a foreign country, dunno their language, no friends there. It was worse than coming to Russia for the 1st time...at least we cud utter a few Russian and we knew some teachers edi.
Nevertheless, it was a pleasant unforgettable experience.

Next - Travelled Destination: Athens, Greece.

My LifeLog_

'Kembang' Post.....hehe

2007-03-16T19:30:00.000+03:00

It's actually a very delayed news but too bad cuz right now,I am into tis self-perasan/self-kembang/self-indulgence phase. Meaning I want to think highly of myself n brag about it. Muahahaha. (kembang=literally translated as 'float' from Malay language....so it kinda mean bragging or on cloud nine)

I received this email 3months ago....about this so-called Christian Bloggers inviting me to join their blogroll. Proof! Proof!

It reads:

Dear blog author:

We recently came across your site, fabled-facade.blogspot.com, while searching for fellow christian bloggers.
A small group of us have started a new site called Christian Bloggers. Our prayer and intent is to bring Christians closer together, and make a positive contribution to the Internet community. While many of us have different "theologies", we all share one true saviour.
Would you be interested in joining Christian Bloggers? Please take a few minutes to have a look at what we are trying to do, and if you are interested, there is a sign up page to get the ball rolling. We would greatly appreciate your support in this endeavour.
May God Bless you and your blogging efforts. We look forward to hearing from you.

Craig Cantin
Christian Bloggers

I know u guys reading this will be thinking, 'Wat so big deal about?' Well, it is a BIG DEAL for me. It is not easy for ur blog to be searched n invited to join a blogroll. N it is different to join a blogroll and being invited to join it. But Christian Bloggers??? U may asked.

I was kinda shocked too when I read it. I thought they got the wrong blog. Yeah, I did claim to be a Christian in my blog n I did blog about faith. I did received a comment that someone stayed away from my blog cuz he thinks it is too heavy. (present tense cuz i think he still does)

But I think I have read a more serious christian blogs. They talked, they spread the gospels and they relate everything in their lives with Christianity. I, on the otherhand...hehehe...if u r one my avid reader, u will know that I dont fit into this category. Hehe...I'm guilty of profanities..

But wat the heck, I didnt ask to be invited and of course, I graciously accepted it. *Kembang Kembang

*with award-receiving-speech's voice.....Well, I hope I will not disappoint those who ah-hem~ think of me as a Christian Blogger. I will utmostly try to reduce my profanities and help spread the Word in the future.

~Hehe....'kembang' post end~

My LifeLog_, Blogger/Blogosphere_

My F1 Predicament

2007-03-16T18:39:00.001+03:00

sigh.....you know, normally I will be very excited during the month of March. Cuz I will get to watch my one and only favourite sport on tv, internet and be the 1st one to tear the sports section fortnightly. Yeap...I am talking about FORMULA ONE. The opening race of the season happens every March.

Eventhou I dont get to watch it eversince I came to Russia...I'm still a diehard fan. Yeah, I used to booked the tv every two Sundays from 7.oopm till 10.oopm. In the morning, the sports section will be mysteriously disappeared. On Monday, my poor frens have to hear me yakking about the race esp when my man won.

N guess wat, whether or not my frens watch or like to watch F1, all of them knew who is my man n my team. Hehe....I taught them well to remember this:

KIMI RAIKKONEN McLAREN MERCEDES TEAM

And I'm against Michael Schumacher and his Ferrari team. They are my enemies. Those who support them are my enemies. Not the aggresive kinds la.....

So this 2007 season...Shumy decided he is old edi and retired. Fine with me. Dun care.
But AAARrrghHhh...guess which driver the Ferrari decided to replace Shumy????!!!!!??

It's my man. He become a Ferrari driver!!!!! He left McLaren n become a Ferrari guy.

WHY!? Why?! Why?!

He become this.......
sigh....do anyone understand my predicament?? Is like in football world...u r a diehard Arsenal n Thierry Henry fan whole life...n suddenly that he go n join M.United! U can support Arsenal n MU new guy Henry rite? I CANT SUPPORT MCLAREN N FERRARI at the same time la. Haiyoh.....

My LifeLog_, Rantrantrant_

Nine Crimes

2007-03-15T18:56:00.000+03:00

*yeah...havent been blogging for a very long time. N I dont know I have been missed so much. hehe. You wouldnt believe what I have went thru for the past 3 months but well, past is the past. I have lots of things to blog about, alot of things NOT to blog about...and alot of things to think n reflect about. But hopefully, my life will be back to normal.

Found a new flash Mp3 player which is cute, plus their websites offer file-hosting and alot of goodies. The old one was good too but I dun like the sound quality. Check this out if you wana have music on ur blog,website watever... e-snips. Learn how to do it from this site:Blogger Tips and Tricks: Add Music to your blog.

If ya interested, Google have alots of gadgets that u can add in ur webpage (I jz found out about it!) Go to here:Google Gadgets *

I first heard abt this song "Nine Crimes" by Damien Rice in one of the episode from Grey's Anatomy Season 3....n I was totally captivated by it. Yeah, it is a sad song but something abt this song that make it different than other sad songs. Maybe it's melody or something...I can just listen to it forever n it brought out something inside me. It's just hauntingly beautiful. Hmmmm...

Leave me out with the waste

This is not what i do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no exuse

Is that alright?

Give my gun away when it's loaded

Is that alright?

If you dont shoot it how am i supposed to hold it

Is that alright?

Give my gun away when it's loaded

Is that alright

Is that alright with you?

Leave me out with the waste

This is not what I do

It's the wrong kind of place

To be cheating on you

It's the wrong time

but she's pulling me through

It's a small crime

And I've got no exuse

Is that alright?

Give my gun away when it's loaded

Is that alright?

If you dont shoot it how am I supposed to hold it

Is that alright?

Give my gun away when it's loaded

Is that alright

Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?

Is that alright with you?

Is that alright?Is that alright?

Is that alright with you?

No...

I think the song is about two people who were in a relationship and that they love each other. But they realised that it wasnt enough. They realised that their relationship or love havent/couldnt/wouldnt reach the full potential...the gun represents their love for one another. Strong but cud be dangerous if unleashed it at wrong person. Also if the partner aint an active participant...how cud the other release it (If you dont shoot it how am I supposed to hold it) I guess their frustration led to their break-up...or although they are seeing someone new...they feel guilty maybe guilty for not being good enuf for the ex, and guilty that they are betraying their new partners cuz they still love each other. A crime which they have no excuse of defending themselves, cuz they dont even know. The constant questioning of "is that alright with you?" is a desperate plea. it's a cry out, "if you cared about me, you wouldn't leave me like this". They're prying for information, does the other feel the same. At the end, the no.... they know it is not alright and it wont be alright until something happens....

Music Reflections_, Blogger/Blogosphere_, Reflections&Musings_

My 50th Post!

2007-01-20T10:10:00.000+03:00

*hehe...I think I have more actually if not for the screwed-up few months ago.

Finally...everything is over. Actually, only one thing is over but to me, that was my life for 3 weeks - EXAM. No more late nites powered up by caffeine which evidently caused my diarrhea episodes. No more my staple diet of crackers and caffeine (no time to cook), no more harrassing the dean office and teacher just to do my exam. Sigh....russian....you do exam late is a problem, u wana to do ur exam early also is a problem. Best way is just DONT do your exam cuz you can avoid the irritating, by-the-book mentality, weird admin skills dean office until much much later. Yeah, the sort-of..."you can run but you cant hide" thing.

Seriously, dean office's people - parasites who stick to the rules as if it is the last thing on earth! In order to get things done from them, you have to "bodek" them with gifts, tricked them, outsmart them with the rules (all rules have loop-holes) and etc. *you get what i mean. Like I told my friends....after my graduation, the only thing I WiLL NOT MISS is that dean building with the people inside. grrrrr.

Nevermind. It is OVER. I AM GOING TO GREECE!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo! (yeah, I know you know) hehe.

Leaving for moscow tonight, gonna visit that big english-speaking church my frens been bragging about tomorrow and on monday...I'll be in Athens. Then, Corinth....... Thessaloniki.....Meteora....Delphi.....Crete.....Santorini (am i missing any places?) hehe. Yup, backpackers style! For 2weeks. Trying to visit places where Paul was few centuries ago. hehe.

Scary ler thinking about it now. Dunno a word of Greek. 4 gals and a guy. Just count on maps and book and our doubtful "street skills"

Wish me luck (not getting lost and meeting Greek ~~guys~~ Gods)

Just a Moment

2007-01-13T12:10:00.000+03:00

There is just one very very annoying thing about exams. Not the fact that there alot to study, or the fear sitting for one. It is when you are struggling for the exams and all your frens just finished theirs, and having FUN! Watchin movies till late nite, playin basketball in the hall, disturbin ppl esp those who havent finish theirs!
Isshh Ishhh....(Vengence will be mine soon!!!!!)

I guess I could only blog properly (back to normal) after my exam. hehe

Oh btw, I'm going to GREECE...WooHOO!!!!!!!! for 2weeks WOooHoO!!

Greek gods/guys...I am coming...

Blessed Christmas 2006 Part 1

2006-12-28T12:16:00.000+03:00

Finally Christmas is over.

Hey, I'm not being a Grinch here, I love Christmas alot. But as u all know by my absence from blogging, been very busy planning the Christmas party at my uni. 50ppl planning a party (Christmas service plus dinner) for about 250ppl. There were carolling, worship session, cooking (no catering service here k), small media presentation (using the brains of med students only)

Thank God...it was a great success despite alot of hiccups we went thru for past weeks. I hardly had any sleep and sacrificed my classes for it. sigh. Back to my normal life now...and exams are coming.

Will be bloggin in details about the party...when i have the time (still recovering from Xmas) hehe.

This is our Nativity media presentation...taken from various sources mainly 'trailer of Nativity Story' and some videos from YouTube. It was nothing special, cant do much....we dont have any graphic, IT, media students here....ONLY meds here. hehe. It was just to share the meaning of Xmas to non-Christians.

Middle of December!

2006-12-12T12:00:00.000+03:00

It is the middle of December now. It also mean that Christmas is coming soon...in about 2 weeks. Instead of my usual-waiting-anxiously-for-my-presents....*sweating....the CF will he having a Christmas party for 250ppl and we need to get things done asap. I need to get my job done asap.

sorry folks for the long absence. I guess I can only start bloggin properly when this party is over. sigh* Can u believe it that I actually forgot to top-up my internet credit and internetless for a week? haha.

When IKEA n MEGA (a huge mall joining to IKEA) first opened, I was so happy cuz there are now a decent place for my christmas shopping. I even planned wat to buy n when to buy. But sigh*....this has to happened at this time. With the great amout of things to do for the party, my upcoming exams and now i need to hunt around to buy presents....AArrghhhhhhhh.....

IKEA Out for 2006

State Duma Deputy Alexander Khinshtein said Thursday that no backroom deal would allow IKEA Russia to reopen its Mega Mall near Nizhny Novgorod in time for the holiday shopping rush.

"They will not reach an agreement with the government," said Khinshtein, who represents the Nizhny Novgorod region in the Duma and sits on the Industry, Construction and Technology Committee. "I guarantee that, no matter what happens."

IKEA Russia's chief spokeswoman, Natalya Altynova, on Thursday reiterated the company's hope that the Nizhny Novgorod mall would reopen soon.

On Nov. 30, the Kstovsky District Court ordered the mall to close for 30 days for fire-code violations. The order was not enforced until Tuesday.

The delay resulted from "pressure put on the court by [IKEA's] home office, from the Swedes," Khinshtein said.

The firebrand Duma deputy said IKEA Russia's general director, Per Kaufmann -- whom he referred to as "some young billionaire" -- had approached Nizhny Novgorod Governor Valery Shantsev soon after the court issued the closure order in an attempt to cut a deal.

Kaufmann declined through a spokeswoman to comment on Khinshtein's statements.

In December 2004, the opening of IKEA Russia's Mega Mall in Khimki, north of Moscow, was delayed two weeks because of safety concerns.

The mall only opened after Moscow region Governor Boris Gromov intervened.

In the case of the Nizhny Novgorod mall, however, "the governor has made clear that the law is the same for everyone," Khinshtein said.

The courts could still order the Nizhny Novgorod Mega Mall to be demolished, Khinshtein added, citing traffic problems it had caused and other "irreparable complaints."

"Coming to Russia, putting your feet on the table and spitting on the floor is unacceptable," Khinshtein said. "We have corrected that. If they come to Russia from Sweden again, they will know what the score is."

Source

Ok, what started the investigation and lead to this unfortunate event was a freak accident. The accident had nothing to do with why IKEA was ordered to close...but, maybe u can say...they(the investigators) sniffed out something else.

A shopper loaded almost 200kg of building materials into the cart and was pushing it down the moving walkway. Obviously, he lost control of it and the cart with 200kg of stuff, hit a 5 years old boy. The boy didnt survived.
Living in Russia for 3-4 years now...I could picture it very well how it can happen and how that guy will look like. Just pity that the boy had to be the victim because of "the stupidity of certain people"

Anyway, Christmas is coming....I'll be busy. And I'll try to update this blog as frequently as I can. Alot of people doin the year-end resolutions, yearly reviews n wishing list...I wan it too!

Toodles
My LifeLog_

Into The Fire

2006-11-30T12:31:00.000+03:00

Nothing to post about...just wanna share this cool song with anyone. I'm just hooked to it..with song like this, y do ppl do drugs?? haha. Hope you have a good day today.

Thirteen Senses - Into The Fire

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Explain, explain
As I turn and meet the power
This time, This time
Turning white and senses dire
Pull up, pull up

From one extreme to another

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And it’s waiting on the end

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Explain, explain
As I turn and meet the power
This time, This time
Turning white and sense dire
Pull up, pull up
From one extreme to another

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And it’s waiting on the end

and now I’m alone I’m looking out
I’m looking in, way down
The lights are dim
and now I’m alone I’m looking out
I’m looking in, way down
The lights are dim

Ooooh

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Come on, come on

Music Reflections_

My Heart is Spoken For

2006-11-28T15:26:00.000+03:00

I'm not sure now how should I start it or what I actually want to blog about. But I am quite sure that what I am going to blog about, one day after I started working and read it back, I am not the same person as I was.

There are alot of times when something happened to you and you wont realized how it affected your life till very much later. But sometimes, at that moment something happened, your life changed, you will never the be the same person. Most of the times, it sucked. People always say that it will be your decision or "the ball in your court" on how to go thru it that matters most. But in this case, it really really doesnt matter.

Yesterday was the worst day of my life.

Some said I shouldnt take it too hard. Some said I should treasure that 'learning opportunity'. Some said it was no one's fault. I said, no matters what the reasons were, no matters who I think shud be blamed and no matters what people tried to comfort me...I know it very well, the real fucked-up person is ME.

I was given the opportunity to treat a patient. I have to put a permanent filling for my patient's previous root-canal treated tooth. For most students...in fact for every dental students, it was supposably to be the day they been waiting for - to treat their first patient. N that moment came to me just like that. N what's more, I have my already experienced groupmate, my senior and my teacher with me. Supposably, everything should be ok.

It was not ok. Everything went wrong.

"Have you ever dreamt that suddenly you were on the stage, everybody looking at you and you realized you are standing there naked?"

As I said earlier, the real fucked-up person is me. At first, the aftermath was I got scolded by my teacher many many times. I pissed-off the registration lady because my patient's card couldnt be found. My patient was very pissed-off - he was rushing to attend for an important class and ended up missing it. Was told it wont take long at least 30min, but the treatment took 2 hours. I was so embarrased. I lost all credibilities as a good student and a smart groupmate. N I still dunno how to face my patient who happened to my coursemate and living in the same hostel as mine. N for myself, I felt I lost my confidence to be a good dentist.

There are 5 stages of dying - DENIAL > ANGER > BARGAINING > DEPRESSION > ACCEPTANCE. I think it should 5 stages of goin thru something that will never ever changed because I went thru all 5 of them...now it is the ACCEPTANCE stage.

Denying that it was so bad. Denying my role in that screwed-up. Denying my real feelings. Getting angry at everyone. Blaming my senior for making me treat the patient and didnt know when the patient's card was, wasnt there to help me but instead playing a tour guide and getting me scolded by my teacher. Blaming those who put me 'on the spot'. Blaming those who did that and yet dare to be mad at me because I was mad at them. Getting very angry when they said I took it too hard. Getting very angry when they told me it was a learning opportunity I should treasure it. Getting very angry at the people who caused the chain of events, couldnt come n apologize to me instead, taking care of their own skin n werent bother about my feelings. Not that I didnt tell them I wasnt ready to do it yet. Not that I didnt tell them it was 'wrong'. Already I felt used that they coaxed me to let them used my cycle for their real purpose. Making a big fool out of myself in front of everyone. I will have to be a Mary-Poppins if I can still put up a smiling face for everyone esp them.
(yes, I couldnt help it not being angry while thinking back now)

The fact I have no friends I could go to who would understand me or at least care about my feelings, instead of telling me that I took it too hard. The fact I really wanted to tok to my mum but I know, at the end, I will have to comfort her instead. The fact I know part of it..a big part of it was my fault. I should know how to do it. I should handle it more professionally. I shouldnt even allowed all these to happen at the 1st place. "Those who have the ability to take action, have the responsibility to" Most part of yesterday I spent being depressed and crying. Alone. Bargaining and depressed.

But it is the past edi. What is done, is done. I have learned my lessons very well. Accepting that I cant change the past. Accepting whatever that happened, however it happened...I have to have faith that something good will come to me, or something at least. Meaning to say, I realized this is the reason why there must be a God in this world. I'm not saying I'm waitin for God to strike those I blamed and stand there laughing. If I dont believe in Him, I wouldnt be me now and blogging about yesterday. I will be a very bitter person and even quit everything. Because shitty things happened to me, to you, to everyone The world is full of sufferings and evils. If I dont believe in something greater than me, a Supreme Good, something more powerful than anything ..., that powerless-ness in me will one day, eat me inside out. Is it possible the most self-confidence, strongest, wisest person in the earth can and will able to take of him/herself and fend for him/herself from every problems, every sufferings and every evils? Maybe it is possible as in 'nothing is impossible'. But for me, I dun think I will ever want to possess such gift...if I have the opportunity to.

As I write this, I remembered something that changed my life before. Not as dramatic as yesterday's event. Just a simple song. "So Afraid" by Bebo Norman. I dun remember how I got this song. At that time, I wasnt a Christian yet, so it was odd I 'accidently' downloaded this song. (how did I go to christian music section at the 1st place eh?) I wanted to delete it at first but I thought maybe I should listen to it first. As I listened and listened to the lyric...maybe you will think this is one of christian's bullshit...miracle bla bla bla...but this song affected me in a way I dunno how to explain. At the time, I have a Christian friend who been talking and answering all my questions about Christianity (at that time, I believed in no God and was curious why some people esp her can be so in love with God, and I admit it was very annoying)
Needless to say what happened next to my life.

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