fabled idiot

Can you be a minimalist hoarder?

2014-07-30T15:26:00.001+01:00

I hope you can because I want to be one. I have to say I’m not driven to have a lot of stuff or live in a big house most of the time I find it hard to spend money and will spend time trying to find an alternative. In the past year or so I have found myself driven to reduce the amount of stuff I do have. A new laptop meant I could remove the gargantuan cathode ray tube monitor from my desk. I also took the opportunity to remove the unwatched unloved TV from the same desk the next obvious target was the temple to outdated formats which was my stereo With it caste deck cd player and AM/FM radio it clear that this device fines itself like so many other usurped by the computer. My phone is now my full time alarm clock.

But If you read ianbyfordart.blogspot you know I am endlessly piking stuff up in the street. I just can’t let something I see as an interesting object go to west. Well it’s about time I tried to bring these two conflicting urges in to harmony.

But how?...

minimalist hoarder by ianbyfordart

back soon

2014-01-01T00:49:00.001+00:00

i didn't post much last year i hope to fix that this year

back soon by ianbyfordart
intentional zazzle links

fabled manifesto: manifesto

2012-01-16T10:46:00.000+00:00

it seams clear to me that politicians don't have a clue and so I'm starting the fabled manifesto with my ideas on how to get the country if not the world running better and I'm starting my manifesto with a new law about manifestos

when a political party rights it's manifesto it should set a target for each department (along with how the target is to be measured) to be achieved by 6 months before the end of there term and if they fail to achieve a target the party gets a fine to be added to the budget of the department they let down

this should make manifestos more realistic and clearer to the voting public.

fabled manifesto by ianbyfordart
View other Fabled idiot Mugs

fabled apocalypse

2012-01-07T00:00:00.000+00:00

so not long to go now till the apocalypse which all the best scientific minds agree will happen at midnight 31 of December i don't know in what time zone that is. also no one rely agree on what type of apocalypse we are facing
we beater start prepping for our new post-apocalyptic lives
so here my if i had £2000 to prep prepare for life after the apocalypse
first thing first we should do some research now you but i can't find any post-apocalyptic survival guides on amazon ( i am actually shocked by this) so we are going to have to make do by watching post-apocalyptic movies

Mad Max Trilogy 7.99 important lessons to learn from this STAY AWAY FROM TINA TURUER
Tank Girl 2.99 important lessons to learn from this try and find a tank
Waterworld 4.19 important lessons to learn from if the world is flooded get a boat instead of a tank
now let tool up
Celestron Skymaster 25X70 Porro Prism Binocular 84.99
Gelert Global 80+15L Rucksack 69.99
Leatherman MUT EOD Military Utility Tool179.99 (can you tell i've started to think i set the budget to high)
Mil-Tec US Jungle Hammock Mosquito Net Camping Olive 41.99
Mountain Hardwear Sleeping Bag 679.99 (that should cut the budget down to size)
Kookaburra Blade 750 Cricket Bat 49.99 the proper english tool of killing mutants, gang members and mutants gang members.
Roughneck 65636 Sledge Hammer 16lb 45.14 who has time to pick locks
Makita ZMAK-DCS9010-74 740mm/ 30-inch 90cc 2 Stroke Petrol Chainsaw 681.07 because if your hand get cut off you need something to replace it with
S Style Green Jerry Can Metal Construction 20 Litre 21.65
Draper 43904 Fuel Transfer Syphon Pump 8.92
Fly London Men's Sheen Boot 110.27 because they have Buckles
CyberloxShop Cyber Goggles Metallic Silver £9.49 just because everyone is dead don't mean you can't still look cool

fabled apocalypse by ianbyfordart

z is for fabled zeitgeist

2011-12-26T23:48:00.002+00:00

z is for zeitgeist. i think the word zeitgeist sometimes get misused as meaning fashionable or popular where zeitgeist means "the spirit of the times" fashion is something people try to keep up with but it is more important to stay open to the zeitgeist rather than mindlessly following fashion.

i know that today post was a bit short and a bit philosophical but this is what happen if i try to wright about something beginning with z

now go by a fabled mug i guaranty there not fashionable

Y is for fabled Yule-time

2011-12-25T01:00:00.000+00:00

Y is for Yule-time aka Christmas aka blogmas aka today

HAPPY BLOGMAS EVERYONE

now because I'm lazy heres some Christmas stuff other people have posted on you tube

x is for fabled x-factor

2011-12-24T07:04:00.000+00:00

x is for x-factor well it had to be really because i don't have much to say about x-rays.

i don't think i will surprise you when a say i don't like this show or any of this generation of "talent" show that have spawned from Popstars
the first reason i don't like these shows is the lack of song writing I'm assuming that even if a singer song writer did turn up for the x-factor auditions they wood still be made to regurgitate the songs of others instead of showing off the full rang of there talent
at this point i feel the need to bring up MobileAct unsigned/Orange unsignedAct which did have real bands on who wrote songs and played instruments (including some friends of my brother hence why i watched the first series) but the show was a bit shit and if i remember right did evan show the full songs

the second reason i don't like these shows is judges who get paid (probably an obscene amount) to pull faces and make rued comments while unpaid contestants provide most of the shows contents

i could probably come up with more if i watch these shows but i don't so i'll move on to the main i hate x-factor. you can't avoid it ,i don't watch but i still know what happens on it because for some reason it gets reported on the news as well as repotting on every detail of the contestants lives and emergency news flashes whenever simon cowell farts

w is for fabled whereabouts

2011-12-23T08:44:00.000+00:00

when it snows heavily in the uk the whole country grinds to a halt and being the fabled idiot i of course think i can solve the problem (or at lest ease it)
when it snows heavily the first thing reported on is the amount of schools that are not opening because the teachers can't get it but i think it's important to note most of the kids wood have no problem getting to there school in the snow because the kids need to live near the school to get a place there so the question is why shouldn't a teacher have to live in the catchment area to get a job there?
or for that matter why shouldn't most jobs have a catchment area?
and if they did wouldn't regain some of that community spirit I'm tolled we had in the good old days
wouldn't a local employer not be more inclined to get involved in local education if it was improving the next generation of employes wouldn't they care more about local health care if they know it gave them a healthier work force.

and on top of all that wouldn't the pressure to the country's infrastructure be significantly less if people lived nearer to where they work

v is for fabled vegetables

2011-12-22T07:20:00.000+00:00

v is for fabled vegetables but i'm not talking about normal vegetables i want to talk to you about irregular vegetables knobbly potatoes and wonky carrots, i have seen this subject come up on a number of tv shows and the situation is this supermarkets won't accept anything "prefect veg" because they say people don't buy it and the farmers can't sell the veg the supermarkets won't buy because they have to sing an exclusivity deal with a supermarket to get a price they can live off . after explaining this these show usually head to a small town center armed with a wonky carrot and asks members of the public if they wood buy wonky carrots and they all say "yes" (well all the ones they show do)

they never address the way veg is displayed in supermarkets which is an a mounting of constantly replenished vegetables. now in this situation you are not going pick the wonky carrot are you

so how do we solve this problem well i can think of tow options one ban exclusivity deal between farmers and there buyer or change the law so the buy with of produce with exclusivity deal can't refuse any good fit for human consumption and they will have to work out a better way to sell it

u is for unisex

2011-12-21T05:35:00.002+00:00

u is for unisex the tv is full of ad for stuff to make you smell because it all most Christmas i do get confused by the need to assign gender to bottled smell or anything else for that mater there not many thing that are truly gender specific women can safely use German engineered shampoo and men can wear skirts if they so wish but what i find most baffling is make up for men if a man wants to makeup i am talking about guyliner and manscara if your a man and you want to wear makeup you don't need a gender based pun to do so if your comfortable wearing makeup you comfortable buying it without the pointless wordplay to push the price up

buy my unisex mugs

t is for fabled tourism

2011-12-20T10:11:00.001+00:00

t is for tourism, i am once again steeping in to help the UK economy let have a big party in fact let have 3 big party one in England on St George's Day one in scotland on St Andrew's Day and one in Wales on st David's Day and invite everyone over to get drunk this seams to work for Island this should work partially well with St George's Day because St George is the Patronages of Saint of all most everywhere so we could play host to bands and entertainers from Romania, Bulgaria, Aragon, Catalonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, India, Iraq, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, Serbia, Ukraine and Russia and let there fan spend there hard earned money in our pub and music venues and probably sell an obscene amount of things shaped like red buss, red phone boxes. and red post boxes

s if for fabled shoelaces

2011-12-19T06:56:00.001+00:00

i being little and going shoe shopping and looking for shoe that do up with Velcro because i hadn't mastered the fine art of shoelace tying i am pleased to say i have been tying my own shoelaces for some time now but what is so wrong with Velcro why have mens shoes resorted almost exclusively to shoelaces as the fastening of chose (i cant remember the last time i saw a buckle on a mans shoe)
in design make some so easy a child could do it is usually a good thing but walk down the street with Velcro fastened shoe no one is going to look impressed at your well design footwear,

mugs in my shop as always

r is for fables resignation

2011-12-18T07:29:00.000+00:00

some thing that has confused me time and time again is why when a politician, high ranked civil servant or a CEO of a large company screws up they get the opportunity to hand in there resignation when anyone in the real world wood have been fired. why should they have the dignity of making a polite public statement before slipping out the back door. they should be given a cardboard box and told to clear there deck before being escorted out the front door were the press can take photos of of the holding the mottos of the blown career and bombard they with questions to which the answers will undoubtedly be no comment.

Q is for fabled Q?

2011-12-17T05:40:00.000+00:00

in school i was told q is always followed by u but i was never told why, this just seams like a wast of ink to me
oh and it not true here a list of word containing Q not followed by U thanks to wikipedia
i'm never going to trust a teacher again this is i before e except after c all over again

p is for fabled pavements

2011-12-16T06:52:00.000+00:00

i know my train of thought can start somewhere normal and end up at an ode station and so listing to people on the radio talking about ugh boot can result in me thinking that pavements shouldn't be paved in which case maybe we should call them sidewalks like our friends over the pond do. (but there is no such thing as an eggplant)

so basically someone was on radio 4 say ugh boot are bad for you if you wear the outside because they don't absorb the impact from the hard pavement and this over time can damage your joints. i though this was a bit unfair blaming it all on the ugh boots and not asking why ground outside if harder that the floor inside.
and this started me thinking what is the point of incasing our walkway in concrete,stone of tarmac and the only thing i could think of was to stop our shoes getting muddy. but i could think of a number of reasons not to
1. cost: i hate to think how much taxpayer's money we spend on paving every year
2. health: not just the ugh issue but think of all the people who end up in a and e after tripping over a uneven paving slabs. (this also means less cost for the NHS
3. drainage. more rain water being absorb by the ground would mean less strain on the sewer system
4. biodiversity: i shore more things live on the bare grown than on a pavement
5. maintenance: if the ground get to uneven you can just shovel some more dirt down and when to need to dig it up to get at something underneath you don't need a nosey Jackhammer

if any one can give me a better reason for having hard pavements please post a comment

ps. mugs mugs mugs

o is for offended

2011-12-15T04:52:00.002+00:00

o is for offended
the dictionary on my computer defines offend as: cause to feel upset, annoyed, or resentful
my question is the isn't it wrong to expect to never feel upset, annoyed, or resentful. do we need to call for people who make offensive comments to be disappeared of our tv screens. should't we just use these comments to trigger an rational debate and make our own points in a calm and rational way.
for example i was offended by the way offended people reacted to Jeremy Clarkson's joke on the oneshow so i made my point in this blog post

buy my mugs here

n if for fabled news

2011-12-14T02:11:00.002+00:00

n if for news. i do like to know what is going on and watch the news most days but the news always find a ways to irritate me
1. reality tv news, i don't need to be told on the news what is happening on the various reality tv shows if anyone who wants to know wood watch the shows. so these "news stories" are glorified adverts or just filler
2. baby/animal news, this story is the same everyday ; baby/animal was sick/in an accident but is better now/getting better isn't he/she brave.
3. duplicate news, bbc and itv have the news split in two the "national and international news" and "the local news" we don't need the same story on both with the exception of where the local people need additional information for example roads closed around a major incident.
4. everyone is watching this youtube video so we are going to show it on the news. this is news reporting at it laziest.

you can buy my fabled mugs here

m is for fabled multiculturalism

2011-12-13T04:17:00.000+00:00

m is for multiculturalism way back in february David Cameron said "multiculturalism has failed" and i thought i'd take this moment to call our pm an idiot if he looks at his own wikipedia page it wood remind him that his great-great grandfather Emile Levita was german but if he wants a more up to date example he may want to look at his deputy how has a Dutch mother and a Spanish wife. or maybe just maybe he could go for a walk though the street of Britain hang out in a british pub and wittiness people from all round the world who most of the time mix with each other just fine yes integration can be a bit clunky and yes there are Muslim extremists and white supremacists out there but surely it there "monoculturalism" that has failed time and time again

ps David Cameron's 5th cousin is also married to a Greek
(well that what wikipedia says)

get your hand on my mugs here

l is for fabled longevity

2011-12-12T01:43:00.001+00:00

l is for longevity for years the food industry have pumped food full of stuff to make it last longer were as other industries seam too focused on cutting cost at the expense of longevity. i think longevity is something we should all be awhere of packaging should give a easement of how the produce should last and we should give reward for long lasting produces

k is for fabled kitchen

2011-12-11T02:32:00.001+00:00

k is for kitchen. tv is full of show about buying and selling houses. and when watching these shows (most the time out of boredom) i notice that everyone on them semi to want a massive kitchen and i don't rely know what the do with them, in university my share of the share of the kitchen was 2 cupboards 1 drawer a shelf in both the fridge and freezer and mange just fine. clearly restricting outside a shared houses situation wood be a bit over the top but clearly some people are going to far in the other direction i don't know if these people buy an obscured amount of stuff to fill up there miles of cupboards and drawer or just spread there stuff out ever way they should stop.

if you want to fill up a unutilized part of your kitchen buy a mug here

j is for fabled junk shop

2011-12-10T02:06:00.001+00:00

j is for junk shop
the hight street is as dead as can of spam and we need to breath more life in to it and i think more junk shops wood help because they don't stock is not mass-produced (or at lest no longer mass-produced) making it easier fore them to compete with the internet and because any one evan remotely human enjoys a good rummage though a junk shop ebay just doesn't have the same feel of discovery

buy a mug

i is for fables intelligence

2011-12-09T00:48:00.001+00:00

i is for intelligence. the name of this blog was an accident of Anagrams but i really don't mined being the fabled idiot because i wouldn't want to live in a world where someone of my intelligence was considered smart because i would therefor have to assume that the vast Majority are less intelligent than i am and that wood scare i the shit out of me. no i am happy to be considered average or lower. this however doesn't stop me from trying to become smarter and more informed i just hope everyone else is doing the same

get you hand on fabled idiot mugs here

h is for fabled homophobic

2011-12-08T00:32:00.001+00:00

h is for homophobic and because I'm dyslexic i am also homophobic but it not homosexual a have a problem with i have never meat a homosexual i didn't get on with (not that a check the sexual preferences of people i don't get on with) no the homos i have a problem with are homophones

A homophone is a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning. The words may be spelled the same (these ones are ok with me) but some are are spelled differently are also called heterographs this are the one that piss me off. can any one out the tell me why on why do we need more one spelling for same pronunciation? other than to try and make people like me look thick. if you are can tell the difference verbally why wood (would) you need an extra clue when the same thing is written down.
that right we don't these unneeded spellings should be lock in a cupboard only to be let out by Susie Dent as interesting factoids on countdown.

hay why not buy one of my mugs

g is for fabled globalization

2011-12-07T01:30:00.000+00:00

to day i'm talking about globalization.
Opponents of globalization "alleged that globalization's benefits have been overstated and its costs underestimated. Among other points, they argued that it decreased inter-cultural contact while increasing the possibility of international and intra-national conflict" (that what international web encyclopedia wikipedia tell me) os im going to stay away from big things like global bank transaction taxes but suggest we get together and agree some little thing on a global scale. at the next big shindig at the UN why don't we flip a coin and diced what side of the road we are going to drive on, why not put all the electric plug and sockets designs in a hat and pick one out for the whole world to use, why can't my feet be the same size in every country?

mugs

f is for fabled fiction

2011-12-06T00:42:00.001+00:00

im dyslexic and when i was at school i had to read a lot of book with a support worker to improve my read which brings us to f in the fabled alphabet fiction i was in high school when the Harry Potter book come out and kid walking down the with a massive book was not uncommon. were as the reading martial selected for me by the learning support department was wafer fin book with a bright illustration on the front from which you could determine the whole plot. these book were shit and yet the support worker were surprised by my lack of motivation to read such drivel. so at this point i will point out something that rely should need to be point out
people will be mover motivated to read a book if its a good book
so if you work in the learning support department why not treat your student like the intelligent individuals my shore they are and find a book they will enjoy.

now go by a mug