factorychannel

Oh man, it hurts the brain

2006-07-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

I know some of you might be tiring of the in-car footage I post here, but basically if you don't think this is cool / amazing, we're breaking up as friends. Go on, find another blog.

Where to start: First off, the cinematic work here is superb. But what really gets me is how busy this guy is behind the wheel. And oh yeah, he's about to rocket off Pikes Peak at any given second.

Skinned Knuckles

2006-05-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

I came across this gem on the GRM board the other day, and it deserves to be circulated most widely. Credit goes to Peter Egan, Road and Track author. I'm not generally a fan of R&T, but these here definitions might make me pick up a copy from my local newstand the next time I go out to buy my Ivy League Porn. Print out a copy and paste it in the back of your toolbox.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive car parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing convertible tops or tonneau covers.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling rollbar mounting holes in the floor of a sports car just above the brake line that goes to the rear axle.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXY-ACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting those stale garage cigarettes you keep hidden in the back of the Whitworth socket drawer (what wife would think to look in there?) because you can never remember to buy lighter fluid for the Zippo lighter you got from the PX at Fort Campbell.

ZIPPO LIGHTER: See oxy-acetylene torch.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for hiding six-month-old Salems from the sort of person who would throw them away for no good reason.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the Rolling Stones poster over the bench grinder.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say "Django Reinhardt."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a Mustang to the ground after you have installed a set of Ford Motorsports lowered road springs, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front air dam.

EIGHT-FOOT-LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2x4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor Chris to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog doo off your boot.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips head screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, and rounds them off.

Anything to Declare?

2006-05-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

Customs official: Anything to declare?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.
-Snatch(2000)

That there basically sums up my feelings at the end of my 18 hour journey from Bangkok. It was a lovely holiday, up through my $20 Mercedes limo ride back to the airport (can't beat developing nations for their discount prices). But then, food poisoning from the very authentic Thai market meal kicked in, and I spent the next five hours in the bathroom of the 747.

The one thing that made my trip home palatable was the fact that United pilots will still broadcast the air-traffic chatter over the in-flight audio system. Combine that with the GPS display on my personal video screen, and you have a nice feel for what's actually going on up front. The next step would be to offer a radar view of the action. Perhaps something like this video which tracks the movements of FedEx planes into their hub.

Thanks Ned/Tim!

Minty Craftsmanship

2006-05-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

Factorychanneler JT paid me a visit in the People's Republic of Berkeley last week. It was a real treat to see him, of course, but he came bearing gifts! Huzzah!

JT brought me this keen iPod charger that he crafted from the insides of an Altoid can. Now, whenever I'm out and about and down on juice, I can throw 100 milliwats of rejuvination at my mobile.

I also just discovered that my Moto SLVR can be charged with this here minty electrical confabulator. Choice!

Check out the unassuming dimestorelooks and the solder-laden innards. This item was clearly constructed with the steady guidance of MGD and the punk rock. Best of all, when I shake it vigorously, it responds with a bank-vault like silence. This is the closest you can get to German engineering inside a breath-mint product.
Thanks, JT

More GyroBike Coverage

2006-04-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

The press and the blogosphere has been running full throttle on the GyroBike invention. Booyah!
CNET article here. Gizmodo post here

A GyroBike follower has also put the video up on Youtube:

Cool Products

2006-04-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the Cool Products Expo at Stanford yesterday. I am a principal in a small business concern , and one of our portfolio companies is developing a cool product.

Errik and I spent the day presenting the virutes of the Gyrobike, a technology that we sourced from the Thayer School of Engineering at Dartmouth College. As it turns, it was received as being very cool indeed:

From the San Jose Mercury News [snip]:

Langberg: Innovation doesn't always mean ``new''
STANFORD EXPO SHOWCASES PRODUCT IMPROVEMENTS
By Mike Langberg
Mercury News
Technology innovation isn't always about creating completely new products.
Sometimes it's about making useful, even mundane, improvements to existing products -- such as creating a better steam iron, or a child's bicycle that won't tip over, or a way to keep screws and nails at hand without holding them between your lips.

These were among the bright ideas on display Wednesday afternoon at the sixth annual Stanford Cool Products Expo, a one-day show where 37 exhibitors showed off new and future gadgets to about 1,000 attendees.

I spent two hours wandering the aisles at the Arrillaga Alumni Center on the Stanford campus, and came across several ``why didn't I think of that?'' ideas. Among them:

• An easier way for children to learn to ride a two-wheeler.
Gyrobike of Wilder, Vt., is putting small gyroscopes in the front wheels of children's bicycles. The spinning motion of the gyroscope helps stabilize the bicycle, creating what the company calls ``invisible training wheels.''

The Gyrobike kit, due by year-end for about $40, provides a replacement child-sized front wheel with the internal gyroscope.

The company says children learn to ride twice as fast without training wheels, and often want to keep the Gyrobike front wheel permanently because it looks cool and makes it easier to do tricks -- like riding with no hands.

WOOT!

All Man

2006-04-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in my collegiate development "man" became a verb and an adjective.

Man; v - To accomplish some feat of domination / total awesomeness. Slapping babies and chewing 10-penny nails. Giving Chuck Norris the ol' haymaker. Kicking. Total. Ass. This is often used to report on a recent conquest or forecast an activity: As Factorychanneler Marcus put it, "I'm considering buying a Tacoma so I can man up some wild game in the back."

Man; adj - That which has the quality of domination / total awesomeness. For instance, I am particularly fond of my "man pants," which are only worn to a) tear down buildings b) build buildings c) work on cars d) drink till I fall down.

So the etymology of Man v/adj came to mind when I came across the following video. The dude totally mans this plane to the ground.

Stoich

2006-04-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what your chemistry teacher did on the weekends?

According to the Youtube description this is 5 gal. of liquid oxygen poured over charcoal. Apparently, barbeque steel burns just as well as charcoal if you get the mixture juuuuust riiiight.

Oh wait, is this good?

2006-04-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

Here's a video of a dude TOTALLY DOMINATING in a spec Lotus Elise Class on an Australian circuit. From last place to first in 1.5 laps.

Too bad the video is of somewhat poor quality. Who is this Dean Evans character, and how did he get so good at kicking all sorts of ass?

If you'd like some more, check out this Ferrari Challenge session at Lime Rock Park in CT. The video quality is better and the dude is just flying on the second lap. Bonus points for those that pick out the left foot brakingand paddle shifters.

Itako whaaaa?

2006-04-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Japanese Rube Goldberg machines. Here's your zen for today. These things have a level of sophistication that lies somewhere between legos and orchestrating hydrogen fusion.

As Factorychanneler JT pointed out, the refrain at the end of each 'event' may be encouraging or appalling. Who can say? Are the little signs and schoolgirl chorus telling me to go eff off or are they wishing me a super-happy-disco-apple-pie afternoon? MEGA!

Oh, since we're turning Japanese, here's Chu Chu rocket up in your grill.

Pure Gold!

2006-04-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

We're reaping a bountiful harvest here at FC Headquarters. The good folks at SSI have a stockpile of videos demonstrating their goods. Their goods are, of course, industrial power shredders.

Woah woah woah, you say. How do I know that this is the type of organization that can truly meet my shredding needs? Well, I'll let their credo speak for itself:
"We have thrived on a culture of innovation and continued improvement, a corporate culture motivated by one question: What needs shredding?"

A question for the ages! Here are a couple favorites:
Plastic Drums - the last fella almost gets away!
Couch - YES! At first you don't think the 'ol "Dual-Shear" can make it happen. Then, the couch gets owned with spectacular crunchiness.

Of course, how can one pass up the "Shred of the Month?"

Satisfaction

2006-04-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Coop did a kick-ass job of debating the merits of Craftsman vs. Snap-On. Choice! Link here.

Snip:
A brief aside: So many of the important questions in life can be summed up as a choice, a dichotomy that provides an insight into the soul of the person having made that choice. Coke vs. Pepsi, Ford vs. Chevy, Mac vs. PC. Add to these the gearhead dilemma of Craftsman vs. Snap-On. Both companies produce excellent hand tools, and both provide lifetime guarantees. Snap-On has always been a prestige brand, the brand of pros, and priced accordingly. They have an aura, a mystique. There are collectors in Japan who obsess over Snap-On tools in the way that only the true automotive otaku can. Even a Craftsman booster such as myself can honestly say that they are indeed handsome tools, but expensive. Some would say too expensive.

Craftsman, on the other hand, though certainly not cheap, seem to exist in a more easily-accessible matrix of quality and affordability, as you would expect from a tool brand carried by the company descended from the venerable pages of the Sears-Roebuck Catalog. It is worth noting a few other quality products once available from Sears-Roebuck, like Danelectro Silvertone guitars, Heywood-Wakefield furniture and the Craftsman Bungalow, all of which have grown ever more desirable and expensive over time. I'm such a fan of Craftsman products I have even pressed them into service in areas for which they were never designed.

Hyperbole is the Most Important!

2006-04-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

Infinite care and experience indeed!
The language in this 1956 Dodge commercial is so unbelievably over the top. Hilarious in a campy, nearly-unwatchable sort of way.

Was it brave and outrageous statements like these that brought 'Merica to the top of the post-war automotive game? Dunno. What I'm pretty sure of, though, is that the jingle singer is terrible... and has a blood-alcohol level of .2 percent.

Overall the factory footage is somewhat interesting, if you watch it on 'mute.'

How They Make Scary Airplane Landings

2006-03-31T06:34:00.000-08:00

Pucker factor defined. From what I can tell these are a collection of Boeing test pilots running the 300 ton 777 through crosswind landings. Items to note: the balloon caught on the vertical stabilizer on the first landing, the apparent use of a grass strip in the third one, and the totally redonkulous sideways action of the last one.

Again, the truly international flavor of The Factorychannel is revealed here. I'm sure you'll enjoy the Portuguese subtitles and obligatory Enigma music track. Yeah, if a little effing Enigma doesn't get you pumped up for to see an airplane eschew a fiery death roll, well you don't have heart, brother.

Is this cool?

2006-03-29T07:44:00.000-08:00

Probably not, though I still enjoyed watching it. Segway owners can rest easy after watching, knowing that their conveyance was assembled with the same skill and care used for a $19 toaster.

That Green Button Should do the Trick

2006-03-28T18:20:00.000-08:00

We're trying to get this thing running... Wait for it, wait for it. There it is!

We're launching our video site here at Factorychannel headquarters, and YouTube goes down. An inauspicious start.

Let's see what Google video has as a first installment instead...
How about starting with the Ferrari factory?

Too bad it is in French. You can also look forward to the typical euro-synth music as a backdrop. Protest that, French kids.