Faetouched in the Head

Know I haven't been on...

2013-07-09T01:52:00.003-07:00

...and I've had good reasons for being MIA! A breakup, two moves, and quite a bit else...

Firstly, I was in the CCC (California Conservation Corps) for a little while, but ended up washing out due to a heart problem that they found, same thing that kept me out of the Navy (along with a spinal issue) so that was a no-go. I have a job now at Michael's (which rocks not only because they don't care about piercings, hair colors or tattoos...I have purple bangs now! Purple! And when this one guy was being a total douche and threatening one of my co-workers, the manager gave me permission to punch him in the throat. I almost wish the cops hadn't gotten there and run him off just so I could've clobbered this guy, he was a total prick) and the hours aren't very good, but it's better than nothing, and I'm looking for a second job to provide additional income, along with art commissions, knitting and such. I'm also now taking care of an adorable bundle of fuzz named Bentley, a tortoiseshell kitten (Male torties are super rare, so that's awesome) that was the only survivor of his litter...whether the others got killed by the gigantic raccoons running around that my roomie's mom won't let me kill, or they died of the respiratory infection their mom had while pregnant that they were born with, I'm not sure but he's the only one. His infection's cleared up, I had to bottlefeed him for a bit but he's on solids now, and he's certainly feeling healthy considering how he likes to spaz all over the room and repeatedly test the edibility of my limbs. My roomie's cat doesn't care for him much, but that's okay, she's old and grumpy so it's not surprising she's not really up to kitten-sitting. I need to get more pictures of Bentley though, he's getting big now!

Anyway, a lot has been going on, and will be still, so I'm not sure when/if I'll be updating here in the near future. Just letting you know I'm still alive though!

Boundaries; No means No

2013-05-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

This obviously has nothing to do with Faerie Tales, but it is something that a lot of people seem to have problems with, and I'd like to offer my two cents on it.

Have you ever gone out with friends, either to a bar or restaurant or whatever, and either you or one of your friends said they didn't want to drink anything alcoholic, or didn't want spicy food or something of that sort, and had someone in the group try to push it on them anyway?

It doesn't seem like a big deal, I know, but for some people it is, and it gets to be a problem after a while. If you offer someone a drink or food and they respond with "No thank you.", your response should not be to ask why they don't, insist that they try it or anything other than "Okay!" If someone responds to someone else saying they don't like a certain food or drink by saying "Oh, you HAVE to like -insert food/drink here-! It's so good!" or otherwise insisting on it, then that person is essentially telling the first that they don't think their opinion is valid and they believe that they know that person's tastes better than that person themselves.

Remember: What one person likes isn't necessarily what another person will like. Everyone is free to have their own tastes and opinions, and their reasons for it may be totally different than someone else's! For instance, one of my friends I met at training for the CCC (California Conservation Corps) is a vegetarian. He chooses not to eat meat not out of a moral thing or because of an allergy or anything else, he just considers most meat unhealthy and prefers to avoid it. I'm a carnivore, but I didn't try to push my taste on him. In fact, when he offered to have me try some of his vegetarian food, I tasted a little bit and it was actually pretty darn good!

Another example: I don't eat pizza. I used to, but I recently got to where even the smell of it makes me ill. I know that this is weird, and there are many different kinds of pizza and thus many different tastes, but I just don't like any of it, and having someone insist I try the kind they're having or that I have to like it just irritates the heck out of me. Someone assuming they know my taste better than me, or that I absolutely must like what they like, is just plain rude.

Also, I don't drink, and I don't like spicy things, even things that everyone says aren't actually spicy like bell peppers. Bell peppers still burn my mouth, and I don't like the taste. I hate the burning sensation that others seem to like, and you know what? Nothing wrong with that. I shouldn't have to explain to people why I don't like the burn or bitterness of alcohol, nor should I have to explain that I am very sensitive to anything with the acids that create spicy flavor. A simple 'no thanks' should be enough. However, I am well aware that in many cases, this isn't enough.

Some people will insist on trying to dictate to others what they eat or drink, or try to shame them into consuming the same thing they are. Calling someone a wimp because they don't eat peppers, or saying they're being a pansy for not drinking, for example. Trying to force someone to enjoy something they have expressed dislike for is extremely rude, and often the person doesn't even realize they're being rude.

A good response is generally "Why does it matter to you what I eat/drink?" If that does not work, a good fallback is "Look, I don't like -insert food or drink here-. It's fine that you like it, but I don't, and I'd appreciate if you stop trying to force it on me. It's really not cool of you to keep pushing something I don't want on me." Try to be polite, but if they start being bullying or obnoxious, feel free to tell them to back the hell off, or just plain leave. No one has the right to force things you don't want on to you, especially something so trivial.

As to why some people do this...part of it could be a herd mentality. For example, drinking at a party. If everyone around is drinking, and there's one person sitting there with water or lemonade or something like that, then some of the ones drinking alcohol may feel like you're silently judging them for drinking, and this may make them try to get you to drink because they feel uncomfortable. It may be that anyone doing anything different seems weird. They may be controlling, and not like the fact that you don't fit perfectly into the niche they think you should. Heck, they may genuinely enjoy what they're trying to get you to do, and want to share that enjoyment with you, and they may not understand how you feel about it.

Regardless of why they're doing it, it's not something they should be doing. If it's a recurring problem, try to take them aside and explain to them politely that you appreciate that they're trying to share something they like with you, but you just don't share that particular taste and it bothers you when they keep insisting on you doing something you don't want to, and you'd like if they stopped. If they are really your friend, they'll understand and back off. If they start throwing a tantrum or getting angry with you, that person isn't worth hanging around with if they are going to be that controlling and childish.

Worse yet, if they try to sneak whatever it is you've expressed dislike for into your food or drinks, such as spiking your soda with alcohol or slipping a food you've said you don't like into your food (sneaking peppers onto a burger, for example), they clearly don't care about how you feel. It's not a joke, it's not funny, and heaven forbid if it's something you're allergic to, it could be downright deadly. If someone does that to you, leave. Right then and there. You don't have to explain yourself to them, and if they're willing to go to such dishonest lengths to force something you don't want on you, then they are not your friend and they have some major problems. ESPECIALLY if it's something you're allergic to...if you've told someone you're allergic to a certain thing, and they sneak it into your food or drink to see if it's true, or to see what happens, they could be held accountable for attempted manslaughter. They are a poisoner, and to reiterate, NOT YOUR FRIEND. Leave, and don't let them try to butter you up or make it seem like it's not a big deal. It is a big deal. People have died because of someone pulling something like that on them. It is not safe. It is not acceptable. And overall, IT IS NOT FUNNY.

If you're someone who tries to push something you like onto your friends, even if you do it in a friendly and playful manner, or it's something you really like and think they would too, please, stop. Think about what you're saying. You are disregarding the preferences they have told you, and disrespecting them because of it. You are essentially stating that you know better than they do what they would like, and don't care what they think or how they feel about it. It's disrespectful and rude and you're hurting your friend's feelings and probably making them extremely frustrated. Learn to take no for an answer. No one should have to explain why they don't want a certain thing, if they don't want it then they don't want it, and that's a good enough reason.

This also goes for movies and other things...if someone says they don't like a certain genre of movie, or they don't want to go see a particular movie, forcing them into it won't change their minds and will in fact make them dislike it even more, because they'll have that added frustration of someone trying to force it on them.

For example, my ex loves sci fi. I do not. He tried to insist on me watching sci-fi tv shows and movies, just because there were a few instances of sci-fi that I did like, like Firefly and the Star Trek movie. He insisted that I watch the Star Wars movies, and managed to get me to watch one. I don't remember it, I didn't like it and I certainly didn't want to watch the rest of them, which made him very upset and he would get pretty angry if I tried to tell him that I just didn't like it, or if I tried to change the subject when he started talking at length about a certain sci-fi thing. I think he thought I was being disrespectful towards the things he likes, but I really wasn't. I just wasn't a fan, I'd told him that, and I had no interest in hearing about the plot of some sci-fi thing that I was never going to be interested in. A lot of people do this to their friends and don't even realize it. If someone says "No, that's not really my thing." Then don't push it. They know their mind better than you do, don't disrespect them by insisting that they don't. Even if you think it's a thing they would really like, if they say they don't want to or aren't in the mood for it, then respect their choice. You are not a very good friend if you try to force something they don't want on them, even if you're convinced that they'd like it if they gave it a chance. If you force them into it, even if it WAS something that they'd like if they found it on their own, you've preemptively set them against it by your insistence. No one likes a thing if they're forced to, even if it was a thing they'd like on their own.

Hopefully this has helped a few people out there!

Life Happens

2013-01-15T17:13:00.001-08:00

Okay, so here's an update for everyone (aka, why I haven't been posting anything in ages.) No, I have not died and become a member of the undead. Yet. Keeping my fingers crossed for the undead thing though.

Anywho, what's going on now...Boyfriend and I broke up, so no more boyfriend, and I'm staying with a different friend for now while getting ready to go into the Navy, which hopefully will happen very soon because if not...well, my seasonal employment at Target ended, they had no room for any permanent hires at the moment and no one is really hiring right now, despite all the applications I've put in so I'm unemployed again. I hope to train as a linguist for the Navy though. All I have to do now is take the real test (I took the practice one and scored really high on it, so I don't expect to have any problems though I'm studying anyway) and get my physical, and hopefully I'll be off to boot camp! Which is mostly spent in a classroom for the Navy and Air Force from what I've been told, the Army and the Marines are the ones getting torn apart in physical trials.

So, I'm sorry I haven't had time to post anything here or on Faerie Fails for a while, and probably won't until things get settled again. I can't find the pen to my drawing tablet right now either, so yeah. It's probably packed up with my other stuff somewhere. Anyway, that's what's been going on!

Holidays!

2012-12-24T04:30:00.001-08:00

Hey everybody, happy whatever holiday you happen to celebrate! Let us enjoy eggnog and fudge and all sorts of traditional, fat-laden dishes while we celebrate the fact that we didn't spontaniously blow up because a primitive calendar said so.

Cheers!

Important Documents

2012-12-12T07:21:00.000-08:00

...are important.

When/if you have your birth certificate, high school diploma and high school transcripts...HANG ON TO THAT SHIT. It is hard as hell and very expensive to get ahold of again.

I HAVE SPOKEN.

Life happens sometimes, and it sucks.

2012-12-03T02:45:00.003-08:00

Sooo....the last time we left our intrepid hero, she had just gotten out of the hospital and was still sick as holy fuck. A few things have changed since then...namely, there is no longer a boyfriend for some...interesting reasons, and there is also no longer a home. The two are partially related. I'm crashing with an awesome friend who is letting me stay with him while he can, and I'm going to see about signing up with the Air Force since...well, work just isn't providing me with enough hours to earn enough to live off of, and I can't continue depending on someone else for a place to sleep. I've never really wanted to have anything to do with the military, but right now it's my best option...work and guaranteed room and board as long as they keep me on, and they'll provide health insurance, which I desperately need. Also, since I need a vehicle but cars are freakin' expensive, I may be instead working towards a cheap motorcycle (found a few a hell of a lot cheaper than any car I've located) and learning how to ride one of those instead. Cheaper on gas, anyway.

So, in general this month has been full of complete suck. The only really good things that have happened so far is that a friend was willing and able to give me a place to stay for now, and that I may be getting a nice bonus at work for this drawing of the company mascot I did that the district manager really, REALLY liked and is submitting to the company head as a possible christmas plush/card that would be featured throughout the holiday season if it gets approved, which I'd be credited for. So, not only a possible foot in the door with the design world, but a nice bonus as well if it's approved! All because I got bored on break and sketched the mascot dog.

Oh, and I cut my hair really really short, and may dye part of it. I'm thinking bleaching my bangs white and doing purple streaks, leaving some of the white streaked through. Could be cool. Can't do that if I do get into the Air Force, though, so I'm waiting on it. One of my coworkers told me something interesting...she said that she's found that after an extreme emotional upheaval or distress or big change, people tend to change their appearance somehow...most often by cutting or dyeing their hair. I never thought about it, but she's right. Every time I've hacked my hair off or dyed it a weird color or when I got my naval pierced (need to get it re-pierced, the hole closed up) something horrible had happened shortly before. Then again, my life has pretty much been nothing BUT horrible events for the most part, so it could be coincidental. Meh.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I haven't had the time or energy to make with the funnies. Maybe when things start looking better.

Emercency Room Funtimes

2012-11-22T12:46:00.000-08:00

So, funtimes, I got to go to the ER last night.

Important stuff...I'm mostly okay, just still kind of dizzy and having trouble walking and all, but that's normal for me, and they gave me paperwork for MediCal and this other assistance thing so I can sign up for one to help pay for it and all the medications they've had to prescribe to me that they want me to start taking RIGHT NOW, and the list of doctors they want me to visit so they can pinpoint exactly all the things that are wrong with me and how to fix them.

I was at work when it started...I was feeling pretty crappy all day, but I needed hours so I went in to work anyway and put on my cheerful face. What a lot of people don't know about me is that even when I'm in a lot of pain or hurting emotionally or whatever, I'm still really good at putting forth a peppy, happy little girl persona that doesn't show anything is wrong. This is probably why my HR was really surprised when I approached her, nearly in tears, telling her that I really needed to go home after a few hours of trying to work and having the pain in my chest and the severe dizziness and disorientation get worse, and I couldn't breathe very well. She sent me home, Boyfriend picked me up but we went to his brother's new house instead of home, because he wanted to go visit with them. I ended up asking him twice how far it was to walk home, because at this point I was hurting enough that rationality went out the window and I just wanted to go home right damn now, and if he wouldn't take me then I'd get there myself. We headed home, but I started hyperventilating and the muscles in my legs and arms started seizing up, curling my hands into this weird shape that I couldn't get them out of, and making my legs go totally stiff. I was sobbing hysterically by this point, Zack asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said no, it'd be too expensive. He called his parents and they unanimously decided that my reason for not wanting to go to the hospital was bullshit and I was going. By the time we got to the hospital I was hunched over bawling like a baby, hurting more than I'd ever thought it was possible to hurt before, and honestly I was terrified and really thought I was going to die. Zack had to practically carry me into the hospital, and a nurse had to do pretty much the same to get me into one of the rooms. It took a while before they actually did anything, and my memory is pretty fuzzy here. All I really remember was crying a lot, saying 'it hurts' over and over while Zack kept telling me to hang in there and stay with him, the nurses barking at me to slow my breathing down but I COULDN'T, and yeah. Tests were run, blood was taken (I remember thinking that my blood was a really weird color- when I saw the syringe she'd taken it with, it wasn't crimson-red, it was more of a lighter red with purplish-pink tones) and many, many pills were administered, including some giant horse pills I could barely swallow. Zack left to go do some make-up work while they continued working on me...I don't really remember much of what happened there, but there were two big machines, one that they had to make me sit up for and since my left leg had gone completely stiff and I couldn't bend it or my waist without it feeling like it was on fire and about to explode, this was an exercise in agony...I vaguely remember screaming in pain and begging them to stop, that it hurt, but being ignored so they could get the little pad thingy behind me for the X-ray. Then there was another big machine that they put sticky pads on me all over for, and these two little patches on either of my sides labeled 'codeine' that I just took off a little while ago, since they left them on and they felt weird.

I don't remember a whole lot after that...I fell asleep twice, was given paperwork and taken outside in a wheelchair to wait for Zack to come get me and bring me home. We stopped at Albertson's real quick to get orange juice and bananas, since they were recommended to me to get my potassium levels back up since they were dangerously low, then went home, where I promptly collapsed into bed and zonked out until noon today.

Tomorrow for black friday I am supposed to work twelve hours. I'm not sure I can do it...I don't have the meds I'm supposed to have yet, and I'm still really fuzzy in the head and having trouble moving around, I'm still pretty shaky and hurting a bit now that the painkillers they gave me (good stuff, mind you) have worn off. I really hope I don't have to call in for that, though, because I REALLY need the overtime pay, especially now. Why now, of all times, did this have to happen?! Blargle.

Not exactly the Lion King...

2012-11-12T16:20:00.003-08:00

DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT.

Sorry!

2012-11-12T12:26:00.002-08:00

Sorry about the lack of updates! Between working like mad (I've been called in on almost every day off I've had AND double-shifted, which I'm not complaining since I need the hours but it's still exhausting) moving and life in general, I haven't had much time to draw. When I finally had a little time to draw today, my camera decided to go "Haha screw you!" and die the pixelated death of suck (See, I hand-draw the stuff in my sketchbook, use a digital camera to take a picture of it to upload into photoshop, and color it and all there. I have no scanner, so that's not an option, and I'm not too terribly good at drawing with just digital.) so I am going to have to see if boyfriend has a camera/batteries I can borrow when he gets home, so I can actually upload it.

Sorry everyone!

Boyfriend's new hat. :3

2012-10-29T06:29:00.004-07:00

I start my new job tomorrow, yaaaaay!

Anyway, with the job prep, moving prep and a lot of other stuff going on (including acting as boyfriend's mom's personal assistant the past week, which involves being up at 5 am every day and not getting home 'til late) I haven't had a lot of time for updates, and for that I am sorry. To try and make up for it, have a picture of boyfriend looking baleful in his new hat that his mom and I found for him. :D

He was actually pretty amused by it, particularly with this whole thing with a viking helmet thing he had when he was a kid. While his mom and I were giggling at it he was grinning, and I said I needed to get some pictures of it for here so everyone could see him in his new hat looking doleful.

BF: I don't look doleful. Doleful would be like this. (makes baleful expression)
Me: *camera click* :3
BF: NO no no no! That's not...
BF Mom: *laughing*

So that's the source of that pic. I have another one, but he looks happier in it and I thought this was funnier.

Also, another conversation we had started with his mother and I somehow getting on the subject of kilts. I brought up that I wanted to get Zack in a kilt someday, very much, but he was steadfastly refusing to wear it 'properly', if you know what I mean. Zack got involved in the conversation, William Wallace was invoked, and Zack agreed that if I can get him a kilt, a sword, the Scottish cap thing, bagpipes and the blue paint, he'll wear it all, properly, and even moon some brits for me if we can find some, and he'll let me videotape it and get pictures.

Challenge. Fucking. Accepted.

If you would like to donate to the "Get video of Zack traipsing around painted blue with a set of bagpipes in a kilt" fund, feel free to send something to my paypal at themuffinknight@hotmail.com on Paypal

The video will be on youtube someday. I swear it on the Celtic Isles!

Plushies and Job!

2012-10-19T11:39:00.001-07:00

WHOO Finally got hired! :D I'll be working at Target now...it's currently a seasonal job, but if they like me enough they mentioned a possible permanent position, so yay! It also means that I'll be able to move into a new condo with my boyfriend, which is awesome. :3

Also, plushies.

Halloween Pony Plush 2

2012-10-11T13:58:00.002-07:00

Got another one done!

I call him/her Blacklight. :3 Is it bad that I name the plushies I make?

The candle with the black center to the flame is totally not inspired by the black flame candle from Hocus Pocus, which is totally not one of my favorite halloween movies ever. In any way. It's not. Really.

If interested in purchasing, all the info is right here! https://www.etsy.com/listing/111055560/halloween-pony-plushies

APPLES ARE EVIL

2012-09-27T17:39:00.003-07:00

I spent the other day, and most of yesterday, working on twenty four large jars of canned apples.

TWENTY. FRIGGEN. FOUR.

Look at these shiny red bastards. They're so pleased with themselves for being so red.

That's cutting them up, cooking them JUST enough that they don't turn into mush, making a sugar free syrup juice thing to fill the jar since my boyfriend's mom can't have sugar, washing all the jars to make sure they're sanitized, boiling the lids, filling the jars and sealing them up as tight as possible while they're still hotter than holy hell, then submerging the jars in boiling water for about twenty minutes (it ended up being an hour of boiling for each batch, since we didn't have a pot big enough, and when boyfriend's mom got one, I had to reheat the entire contents of the jar back to boiling temperature to make sure everything got completely sanitized and heated, so I had to let the sealed jars boil for an HOUR, each batch, and I could only fit a few jars in at a time, so you can imagine how long this took) and constantly checking them while they cooled to make sure the lids popped, so that they'd be sealed properly and die the horrible green fuzzy death of gross.

I never want to see another apple again in my life.

PONY

2012-09-22T15:55:00.001-07:00

Finally completed the plush I was working on for my boyfriend's nephew!

The mane was tricky, since it's too small for me to have done the cloth tube braiding thing I did for the tail, so I sewed it in a way that I hope it comes off looking like it was braided. All hand-sewn, the eyes were embroidered on felt (since the white fluffy cloth was too thin to embroider on without destroying it) and attached.

I'll take commissions for these, providing the designs aren't too complex. I'd have to see a reference of the character first, before being able to tell you whether or not I could do it at all, how much it'd cost and a general timeframe. So, if interested, just send me a message or comment with your e-mail!

Boyfriend

2012-08-29T03:24:00.003-07:00

This is my boyfriend.

NOT my best work. I can't draw him in my style, so screw it, we're Adventure Time-ing this biatch for the rest of this post!

He takes great pleasure in the fact that he is easily several times my size (I'm barely five feet tall, he's over six and built like a grizzy bear had a love child with an ox, then that child had a love child with a dinosaur, and that child was him) and uses this to his advantage mercilessly when we get into wrestling matches, whether they be tickle-based or whatever else. He also thinks it's hilarious that I get creeped out easily by things like cardboard cutouts of people, puppets, Paula Dean and this weird bug thing he does with his hand that make me squeal like a little girl and run away. He does have his own weakness though, and it comes in the form of a small bit of rubber horror.

The rubber fetus.

BLARG I CAN'T EVEN DRAW AT STYLE RIGHT I SUCK.

This thing is a weird little...thing...that got handed out at the faire from this anti-abortion booth. It's basically a little rubber representation of a fetus developed at three months-kind of like a stress ball, but if you squeeze it you feel guilty. Or...well, should feel guilty, I guess, I don't particularly feel all that bad about smashing a little squishy baby fetus. That probably doesn't speak well for my psyche, but whatever.

Anyway, this thing creeps him the heck out. Threatening to put it in his bed is usually enough to quiet his bouts of random singing in public or whatever else he's doing at the moment. I can also chase him around the house with it. This usually ends with him locking himself in his room or something (after removing the handle because I can pick locks) or something of that sort. I threw it in his room once through the barely-open door, where it landed on his bed. He promptly locked me out of the room and tried to get rid of it. I could hear him yelling from outside the door.
Zack/Boyfriend: OH GOD IT'S TOUCHING MY PANTS
Me: *snickering*
Zack: AAUUUGHHH IT'S ON MY BED
Me: Do you want me to get it?
Zack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH

And it proceeded roughly that way until he finally threw it out of his room again, where I collected it, threats were made on both sides. I think I won this round...though I still have to catch up, what with all the times he's scared the ever loving daylights out of me with the stupid cutout, the pictures of Paula Dean (seriously, the way she grimaces at the camera is horrible! It's like she's baring her teeth at you!), the little firework popper things, jumping out at me or any of the other things he's done that scare or freak me out. Bargle.

He also likes shows like Jericho, which I hate because they freak me out and make me jumpier than usual - like when some jets from the nearby air base passed by really close overhead-like, so close that the scream of the engines was literally physically painful, and the windows were rattling and the whole house shook-I freaked the heck out and for a second thought it was a missile or something, and I'm not usually paranoid at all.

That's a normal thing to think all the time, right?

Aaaanywho, boyfriend is the kind of guy who waves his arms around a lot when he talks, and sometimes the arm-waving is his sole answer to things. Like, when I asked him how he could possibly be hot earlier today, since I was cold, this was his reply:

He's the only person I know who can articulate keyboard spasm into words.

Yeeeeeahhh....

But all the weirdness is okay, because I get to cuddle up to him and he doesn't seem to mind most of my weirdness, so that makes everything okay.

Even though for some reason he doesn't like me biting him. Odd.

Fairly accurate depiction of our size difference, actually. XD

Job maybe?

2012-08-23T13:20:00.001-07:00

Working on the next post, wherein my boyfriend is evil (big surprise), but I may be getting a job...I applied at the local Lenscrafters, and will be seeing the manager tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be employed again and this one will stick. So, yay for that! If it goes through, that is. I did help out at the optometrist's my mom worked for when I was a kid, though, and I do know quite a bit about glasses and contacts...eye health in general, and I've even used a lens cutting machine before, so hopefully I'll have a leg up on the competition. Plus they didn't put out a bunch of help wanted fliers or anything, so there might not be much competition in the first place. So, here's hoping!

Musashi and the Catnip

2012-08-14T03:58:00.003-07:00

My boyfriend's cat is a weirdo.

Okay, so, we play RPG's on friday and saturday nights, the friday games cycling between Pathfinder and a TMNT based game. My boyfriend's nephew, Melvin, has sort've a hate-hate relationship with my boyfriend's brother's cat, Dude. Dude has a habit of attacking Melvin's ankles, probably because Melvin has cats of his own and probably smells like them, and Dude is pretty territorial. This story, however, is not about him, but he does factor into it.

After everyone had arrived and we were setting up for game, Melvin headed into the kitchen for a soda. I was in there as well, debating on whether to reheat a piece of leftover pizza for dinner, make a sandwich because it was kind of warm and I didn't want to have to wait for a pizza to reheat, or just get more salsa and have tortilla chips for dinner because I didn't like the only kind of sandwich meat we had. I ended up going with the last option because I'm kind of a lazy hobo like that.

Ha, no.

Anyway, after the obtaining of sustenance, Melvin and I started heading back, but Dude was blocking one of the exits from the kitchen looking menacingly at Melvin's ankles, his favorite biting spot. Since I didn't want Melvin to have to kick him across the hallway, I persuaded Dude to follow me by scratching at the base of his tail and leading him away so Melvin could stealthily sneak off, and deciding that it'd be a good idea to keep Dude distracted as long as possible, I found a small bag of catnip and sprinkled a bit on the ground, before putting the bag back on the countertop where it always resided.

This was a mistake.

Kids, don't do drugs.

Musashi, the small gray furball belonging to my boyfriend, had witnessed all of this from what she thought were concealing shadows under the table. (It was painfully obvious where she was, but I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she sucks at ninja, so I let her think I can't see her.) Upon me returning to the dining room for the game, Musashi observed Dude rolling about in drug-induced bliss on the floor, decided she wanted some of that action, and knew that Dude wasn't much when it came to sharing-so she was going to help her own damn self.

Now, the counter was just a regular kitchen counter situated beneath the cabinet that housed the dishes, about four feet-ish off the ground. We've never had a problem with Dude getting on the countertops, like, ever, because he's so fat that he can't heft his own body weight off the ground to reach anywhere near that height. Mushashi, however, is a very nible, spry, slender cat, and she has proven to be able to jump quite a bit higher than the cabinets whenever she pleases.

Musashi is fully capable of defying gravity and physics at will. Dude is barely capable of walking.

Musashi hopped up onto the counter, somehow figured out how to get the catnip bag open, and stuck her entire head inside.

Not only did she inhale the cracktastic scent of it that drives cats nuts, she also started eating it.

And the gates of Chaos opened...

Luckily I had to return to the kitchen only moments later, having heard some odd noises coming from it, and found her in that situation. I promptly seized her, removed the bag from her head and sealed it up again. This did not please her.

Seriously, kids, don't do drugs.

She started thrashing and wailing and biting like a rabid squirrel on PCP, making it very difficult for me to hold her. After putting the bag in the cabinet above the oven, where I was sure she wouldn't be able to reach it again, I decided she needed a chill pill. The best method I've discovered to calm her down is to hold her on my lap while I sit cross-legged, wrapping her up in a blanket. Usually when I have her snuggled into a cat taco, particularly if it's a soft fuzzy blanket, she will calm right down, curl up and go straight to sleep. I also seem to be the only one who this actually works with, which makes me feel somewhat special, like I'm radiating some magical aura of animal calm-makery...stuff.

It didn't work this time.

ALIEEEENNNN!!!

I tried to hold her on my lap and force her to settle down in the soft, fuzzy confines of a red plaid blanket and my own lap, but she was too determined to get to the stash and continue her drug binge for that to work. Eventually I got tired of my abdominal region and arms getting eaten by those little fishbone teeth of hers, so I banished her to her crate until such time as the drugs were out of her system.

She had to stay there overnight, and seems to have calmed down now. Other than her typical attempts to break into my boyfriend's parents' room, she hasn't really been doing anything. I'm pretty sure I should be worried by this though, as it most likely means she's plotting my demise, and phase one is to earn my trust again.

I'll have to keep an eye on this development.

All artwork on this blog is Copyright(c) to me unless otherwise stated.

And so it begins...

2012-07-25T11:40:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! You may know me from my other blog Faerie Fails...well, while it may take a bit to really get things rolling here (particularly since there's a lot going on in the house right now, so I really don't have a lot of time for drawing at the moment) but hopefully I'll get things going pretty soon. What I intend to do HERE is basically tell stories about the oddities of life, sort've a slice-of-life thing, but with drawings to help illustrate the stories. Sort've like a semi-comic, but not really. Eh, I don't know what the term for it would be. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy the weirdness that perpetually surrounds me, and that you'll enjoy the artwork I use to help tell the stories! Thanks for reading!