Fa$hion Hint

How to Tighten Breasts by Exercise

2012-10-29T20:11:00.002-07:00

If you have noticed that your breasts are becoming loose, flabby and drooping down day by day, what you have done to solve the problem? Do you know the ways how you can make your breasts tightened and looking sexy? If the answer is no then here are some effective excercises for you to make your breasts tight and acctractive again. As you know that breast are made up of some fatty tissues and milk glands and breasts have no muscles. How ever there are some chest muscles under the breasts, which can be focused to improve your breast tightening. Physical exercises have been designed to tone up your chest muscles helping your breasts to look full and firm.

PHYSICAL EXERCISES FOR BREAST TIGHTENING PUSH UP

Push up is one of the most effective exercises for breast tightening, but it is a little bit modified to obtain maximum breast firmness as mentioned below:-

a) Lye on your stomach and keep your palms on the floor to the side

b) Now bend your knees first

c) Bend your elbows so that weight can be put on your palms ( you may turn your palms to 90’ if you like)

d) Make your arms straight putting body weight on your palms and knees.

e) Lift your body now slowly making your chin perpendicular to the floor.

f) Now bend your elbows slowly to lower your body and when your arms go parallel to ground, rise slowly again.

g) Do not let your chest to be touched on ground and again push your body up.

During exercise ensure the movement of your whole body feeling the puch at your chest restricting the movement of your head.Start this exercise with three sets and gradually increase the number of push ups in your sets.

Essential Tips To Attract A Girlfriend

2011-11-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that some girls are attracted to certain guys? Girls walk right towards you, then past you to some other guy. What is it that the “lucky” guy does that you do not do? Does he do anything at all different or is there just chemistry between the two of them? Perhaps he just understand her needs and wants. Sometimes, understand a girls needs and wants is enough to win her over. However, if that girl on your list is playing hard to get, then we have some essential tips you can use in order to attract a girlfriend.Click Here to learn how to uncover powerful insider secrets that will skyrocket your sex life!If there is a girl that you want and you have her phone number, you should not call her too much. If you are in the habit of calling and texting girls every hour, then you may want to back off, because this chases some girls off.The more you contact a girl, then less likely you are to get a girlfriend. Believe it or not, girls do need their space. If they want to hear from you all the time, they will let you know.Learn The Secrets To Get A Nice Girlfriend – Click HereWhat about your car? It definitely needs to be clean on the inside and out. There should be no fowl smells coming from it. New car scent generally does the deed. Bumper stickers are okay and some girls like them, unless you drive a really nice car. If you have a spider web crack on your window, then have it fixed.Where you find the girl is completely up to you. If you are the type who likes to pick up girls at the bar, then have at it. However, the girl next door may just be the girl you are looking for. In the end, you should just act yourself, clean up a bit, put on a new set of clothes and know that things will be looking up for you on that day…Do women make you nervous?Do you deserve a girlfriend?

Heena Art Designs For Body

2011-10-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

Heena designs body art

Or Mehendi Heena Mehndi is applied on the hands, feet and hands to decorate the tree with the color of the hands or feet and hands. But it is a tradition to decorate the hands feet and hands, in some occasions like Eid, weddings.But days now in the process of applying mehndi body art, or you change is called Heena Tattoo.

Now days, especially in Western countries including the Gulf countries, Iran, India, UK, Australia and the United States all these countries are now regulations to apply mehndi patterns of living as a permanent tattoo instead tattoos.These Mehendi tattoos Heena are easy to get faded with time and get a tattoo permanent tattoos can be removed models remove.While highly unlikely Heena, Mehndi is a temporary side effect and get your body.Since the body art of tattooing desigsn Mehendi tattoos are more popular.Specially some parts of the body is decorated with Heena tattoos, as the shoulders, chest, abdomen, back and life styles of art Mehendi.Here you can get more than the tattoo designs heena, mehndi body art tattoos, mehndi tattoo designs Heena Art body.Body 2011.

Mehndi designs India Photos

2011-10-12T13:59:00.000-07:00

Mehndi designs India Photos

Mehndi is the art of decorating women's hands, feet and arms with the tradition heena.The to apply mehndi hands, legs and arms is very old, from ancient times, but now women are accepted to apply mehndi hands, feet and hands like fashion, and must be approved in all situations, for example, marriage and Eid ..

In the art of applying mehndi heena designs or in the hands or feet cylinders, we have a verity of styles and models below. In the Indian henna mehndi mehndi popular Indian designs.Indian designs.The art of applying mehndi is a favorite style of most of heena design by married women in the occasional case women.All, from having a mehndi design elegant in style models hands.The Indian mehndi design is very unique design.The line heena leaves and petals of India are the design patterns of mehndi tradition from India heena designs more. Here you can have a final design mehndi designs mehndi designs indian pictures, cartoon pictures Heena Heena indigenous designs for india, india mehndi tattoo designs pictures.

Haircut styles for boys

2011-10-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Haircut styles for boys

Not everyone is so lucky to be born with thick hair that is full and lush and easy to maintain at the same time. Some of us were born with beautiful hair. Many people tend to confuse the fine hair with fine hair, but this is a common mistake. While fine hair is the hair type, where all the strands of hair has a small diameter, thin hair refers to have fewer strands of hair on your head. For people, especially men with fine hair, the biggest challenge to choose a hairstyle that makes their heads look fuller and larger. Most hairdressers suggest short haircuts for just this reason. Take a look at some of the hairstyles of the men most popular for fine hair.

Haircuts for men with beautiful hair

Hearing all the barbers and they should be able to tell you about the many different haircuts for fine hair, you can choose. You can always choose to experiment with your appearance, if desired. There are some styles, however, that has been popular for some time now. Let's take a look at these hairstyles.

Caesar

As the name suggests, this hairstyle is a modern take a haircut that was put on display by the Roman Emperor Julius Caesar. It has a modern drive when George Clooney sported the same look. Hairstyle base is such that the hair is kept short and cut in layers around about two inches from the back of the neck. Bangs cut straight and combed forward rather than sideways, and is popular with men in general. This hairstyle is perfect because it covers all the places that generally have less hair and also helps the hair thicker than before.

Cutting brush

Another popular cut for men with beautiful hair is the section of equipment that was used by Justin Timberlake, Jake Gyllenhal, and Channing Tatum. With this cut, the hair is cut close to the head anywhere and narrows at the sides and neck. The discount is such that it follows the contours of your head. The hair on the top of the head are a little long, but not by much. It is a haircut for men with fine hair because it gives the appearance of thicker hair and also keeps the hair much healthier. This haircut is best seen in young men.

Sweep

If you are looking for a little longer look in haircuts, then a shag is a great option. For fine hair, the hair worn longer than normal, it should be layered, and you should allow longer fringe. With this cut, it creates a somewhat wrinkled look of an illusion of volume that allows the removal of blunt edges of the hair. With this hairstyle, there is absolutely no reason to use styling products as much like a lot when they are left as is. Celebrities who have sported this hairstyle includes Ashton Kutcher and Keith Urban.Our culture can get away with a lot of men. In order to be presentable, all men have to do is shower and a good smell. Men take advantage of that, but for some inexplicable reason, when their hair starts to go vanity takes over.

Bald men are the most incredible trails to hide their lack of hair. It does not matter if the roads are filled with errors. It does not matter if everyone can see through them. For most men, just to have a way to hide baldness, if it does not hide anything is a great success.

However, in desperate search of these failures are irritating. Because there are other ways to achieve a hair style for balding men great without looking like a fool. Here are some ways to do it.

Buzz cut. If a man's hair is thinning, instead of fighting it, and look like a hypocrite, you can do something different. You can try to get the first jump. Use a cut hum. On the contrary, baldness coverage until it does not matter. If bald men, this should be their first reaction. Buzz cut to hide thinning hair and receding hair lines. Use an electric shaver to keep your hair cut here.

Faux-hawk. Sometimes, celebrities and movie stars are good ideas. This is one of them. Faux-Hawk looks sexy. And 'popular and makes you look young again. It 'also a good way to hide a receding hair line in the temples. It can also help thinning hair in the middle, but do not overdo it. The comb over is bad enough. Comb over the style of a faux-hawk is atrocious.

Bald. Embrace your destiny. It's not bad. Not all men can look good with hair, without success, but for those that do, they look great. Their heads are full of butter. Thinning can be scary for some, but getting ridiculous than scary. If your hair is thin, bald patches, and you can hide more, just let your hair go for vanity. Do not contribute to increase the coolness factor. Bastard shaved scalp may seem appropriate. Most celebrities have shaved so hard.

Fringe. The most popular is gone. There is no hair at all and not mourn the defeat. You can not go bald, because there is still the hair around the edges. Stop complaining and do the job for you. Patrick Stewart has the same hair, and nobody ever called him a little story. It does not seem like a bad monaco. Remember, the monks too badass, and he knew kung fu. Oh wait, are the Shaolin monks, and they were bald. The monks simply arranged the data of civilization rests in their hands. And has been used to expel the demon of ignorance.

Do not be afraid of baldness. You may reject your favorite hairstyle, but it should not deny you look good.

New hairstyles 2011

2011-10-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

New hairstyles 2011 A

New hairstyles 2011 B

New hairstyles 2011 C

New hairstyles 2011 D

New hairstyles 2011

leaders of new hairstyles for women are undoubtedly the catwalk, fashion shows, awards and celebrity magazines. The trends are the focus byleading hairdressers in their latest creations and this is a bonanza of information for you.

To choose the hairstyle to just cut the photos of the hairstyle that you like, three or four different styles highlighting the different cutting techniques and also several pictures of different hair colors. You need the photos for you to chat with your friends what they think of the style and especially if the hairstyle that suits you.

As a person who may have a different view in the same way that their friends have. This is why it is important for them to give their advice for you to consider or reconsider your photos and desired hairstyle. After following this advice, they finally have a group of photos of hairstyles and colors that I think fits your lifestyle.

Now is the time to make a salon appointment. Deciding to have a new haircut should not be taken lightly, since most restyling will come with a high price considering the brand's barbershop, the cutting technique used and the color of your hair.

It 'very important for your appointment with the hairdresser, stylist, and you know you can trust. This allows you to display images of the designer's style and color, then you want to be a new haircut. Hair Designers can then provide technical, as if the style would suit your face and head shape. Barber may recommend that the emphasis on basic technique and style suitable for a color that suits you.

Once this has been discussed with the hair you can then proceed to decide the final cut. As the cut begins to you and your stylist can refine the style as it progresses and begins to take shape. The stylist knows exactly what they do and what affects cutting technique will "seat" of hair.

Once the style was cut, then you can go to color, and this should be seen and discussed before the product is applied. What you see in the picture can be a completely different style that you see in the mirror.

We now have hair exactly what we want and have our hair color is perfect for you. It looks great in the mirror while in the living room. This brings us to the next item you can get the same style at home. Your stylist will discuss with you in order to maintain the appearance of your hair and what techniques to use to get the look the salon itself.

After spending a lot of time and money on your new hairstyle, you must now take care of your hair. This is where your stylist can recommend different hair products to maintain the bounce, shine and look of your new hair style.

After going through this work, you can become the next leader of the new hair styles for women, because any other woman does not want to be a new haircut just like they show cased. Not just models and celebrities, who can set a new trend in hairstyles for women's style is individual to you and admired by others.

Fashion Jewelry

2011-10-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

Fashion Jewelry A

Fashion Jewelry B

Fashion Jewelry C

Fashion Jewelry D

Fashion Jewelry

Jewelers have a trendy piece of jewelry that is completely designed by you.It can be engraved jewelry, necklaces name, pearl bracelets, pendants photos, religious medals, name plates somebody diamond necklaces, gold or other metals, mostly personal jewelry etc. . This ferry contains symbols, shapes and text, which can be important architect. Fashion Jewelry made known and trusted jeweler is always better, because it requires full concentration and time, and if you order in the fashion jewelry for your wedding, then the extreme involvement and your partner as well. Later, you and your loved one will enjoy it and remember the words to create it. A skilled goldsmith deliver your ideas to help you choose a different piece of material, which are metals and stones can be set to that with the overall style of the picture in your mind.

Jewelers have a trendy piece of jewelry that is completely designed by you.It can be engraved jewelry, necklaces name, pearl bracelets, pendants photos, religious medals, name plates somebody diamond necklaces, gold or other metals, mostly personal jewelry etc. . This ferry contains symbols, shapes and text, which can be important architect. Fashion Jewelry made known and trusted jeweler is always better, because it requires full concentration and time, and if you order in the fashion jewelry for your wedding, then the extreme involvement and your partner as well. Later, you and your loved one will enjoy it and remember the words to create it. A skilled goldsmith deliver your ideas to help you choose a different piece of material, which are metals and stones can be set to that with the overall style of the picture in your mind.
Most jewelers do preliminary sketches you have a clearer picture and to eliminate ambiguities. Today the word technology has also allowed us to see the amazing results that you want to correct before finishing with the help-PF computer graphics. He must know the nature of the materials used, and should not be very skilled crafts and jewelry. Most of the jewelry piece jewelry is elected for a higher price. Jewelers fashion requires a budget beauty, but once done, you can move the legacy of generations to generations, ands. Like the fashion jewelry is not commercially available is about touch and exceptional personalization. It reflects the ideas and questions for the beauty and perfection.

Sun Glasses For womens

2011-10-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

Sun Glasses For womens c

Sun Glasses For womens A

Sun Glasses For womens b

Sun Glasses For womens d

Sun Glasses For womens e

Sun Glasses For womens f

Fashion sunglasses are very old fashioned, but it is still available in all styles and fashion sunglasses to varieties industry. Here former and women to a perfect Glasses sun once again Sunglasses are all little girls, women, fashion sunglasses Perfect Sun glasses. In women have to choose a variety of more corporate brand sunglasses, but it is difficult to choose from. Quality sunglasses are good that you can not easily break and are well material. Here some tips to follow when buying sunglasses, glasses you. While buy for our eyes to the protection you need to check that these glasses are designed for sun protection and not just a fashion statement sunglasses forewomen. Choose a color for your sunglasses, UVprotection.Because offer the deepest wrinkles them.DesignerSunglasses for women are also ideal for girls.They are reallyexpensive, but always very protective of sunlight from the eyes.Sunglasses, but offers great and unique styles of sunglasses and style elements.

Faboulous luscious bags

2011-10-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

Faboulous luscious bags

All bags luscious Couture fun, fabulous and very popular. And no wonder, when you take a look at your finger tips. The quality of design to its unique attraction that were couture handbags on the arms of women everywhere hung - from the famous and the not so famous.

luscious bags B

Faboulous luscious bags

And every woman who finds a bag of luscious almost mouth-watering, especially if you have a passion for handbags. Includes both the brand and the need for women to own a beautiful piece of chocolate arm, but at the same time they are a bag of accessible design.

luscious bags C

Faboulous luscious bags

luscious bags

Faboulous luscious bags

luscious bags

Faboulous luscious bags

The area where past and present, always two things - but over unmistakable style. Many come in bright colors, dripping applications and charm of handbags. In many ways, reflect the choice of handbags to their sense of style and not public taste and if you like luscious Couture, no doubt, you are an ardent follower of fashion - not bad for a woman. luscious Couture draws me to this simple straw bag, but grosgrain and elegant feel that will not break the bank, I feel absolutely no remorse. Bags are inessential accessory for the summer, call the pictures on the beach or pool, and useful to those places, they just dry in wet situation without damage. Not with heavier materials like leather. I'm also a fan of stimuli. One of the reasons why lavin bags (which has always been a stimulus currency) and love is part of the charm of this map. Since this case is not serious, you give the charm of mussels and squid it a touch of fanciful charm.

Nail Tips For Teen Girls

2011-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Nail Tips For Teen Girls

Giving gifts to teens can be easy or hard really depending on your teenager and what they might be into at the time. Giving simple gift baskets to your teenage girls can be super simple to buy or create yourself. As parents we know what our teens may or may not be wanting this year. Here are some gift ideas for the teenager in your life. Nail polish gift sets. All teenagers specially girlslove nail polish! Why not put together a nail polish gift basket with some of the hottest nail polish colors out this year? Popular colors in nail polish are purples, browns and reds for all ages. Then add to it a gift certificate to visit your nail tech for her very first manicure or nail set? All girls love feeling pretty and having fingernails with the latest nail polish colors or styles are sure to be a winner this year. Gamer gift baskets for the guys or girls. These are easy to put together, add snack foods that they can eat while playing their favorite games. Be sure to ask your teenagerwhat games they are into and what they might be wanting this year. New games for all play systems come out often and teenagers love to have the most up to date games to play with or against their friends. Maybe give them a coupon book filled with coupons for days you won’t might having a little party for them with just their friends over. If they have gaming accessories they been wanting why not add them as well? If you can’t think of a game or don’t want to ask them, why not add a gift certificate to their favorite game store? This will be sure to be a hit this year! Manicure/Pedicure Gift Sets. These are great for boys and girls of all ages. For the girls you could create a whole gift basket all about caring for their nails and toes. With the latest in BB nail polish colors, cuticle oil, top coats, base coats, nail files etc. And why not add a book on tips for caring for their fingernails and toes naturally? Or write your own little tips book on how to give yourself a manicure/pedicure. The information is easy to come by all over the web. For the guys there are manicure sets made just for men. The guys tend not to take too much about their nails but if you drop hints that girls like men with well cared for fingernails, I’m betting they will start using it right away.

Latest Abaya Designs

2011-10-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

Latest Abaya Designs

Latest Abaya Designs
Abaya is Islamic cultural fellow dressed in the majority of Muslim women around the world every day. Abaya are available in different styles in different countries such as Pakistan, Arab, Egypt, Turkey, Sudan, Iran, Iraq and India. Today abaya and veil candle is very common in the form substantially similar to today's youth.

Latest Abaya Designs

Latest Abaya Designs
Here I have some styles in the latest Beautiful Abaya, Abaya choice that can help. In this photo you can see three different styles, colors, contrast, Arab style is commonly used for young girls in the party and enjoys the same color with a scarf.

Latest Abaya Designs

Latest Abaya Designs
In both above abaya designers to control open style abaya style shirt with red color combination in Iran style.In this embroidery ribbon is black abaya desined in Sudan similar to hijab. This style is also common in the style of today and you can add this design to your hijab.

Latest Abaya Designs

Latest Abaya Designs
In this style of garment workers used to be, you can use this style for the wedding abaya or in part. You can vary the color and work according to their sewing choice.If who are attracted by abaya designed so that the style is also very nice embroidery work to cut the front and also on the hijab.

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion

2011-10-12T13:15:00.001-07:00

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion
Salwar Kurta short how India and Pakistan has recently merged the benefit of Asian fashion. Salwar kurtas Costumes have experienced long and short and has become a wider range. Ease of use is available in pastels and bright colors, so everyone has a chance. Even women with large sizes are given opportunities salwar kurta so short. Salwar suitsare explored by designers to individual needs and the Hindi film industry, giving us the opportunity to enjoy the last show of our financial situation.

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion

Wear short kurta salwar have become the most common in the current year. Girls and women prefer Bollywood India Salwar Kurta and fashion garments for everyday use. Fashion Kurta kurtas, embroidered cotton tunic and are good for the use of collage and office. Therefore, to meet the needs of our customers, we have obtained the collections of the fashion Kurtis. It is not fashionable, but attractive in design and development of its beauty.

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion
Kurti is the most beautiful dress for use in all seasons. Different styles and models are used to decorate every room of Kurtis. Our dedicated employees combine fabrics like cotton, georgette, crepe, silk, art silk chiffon and cotton, as well as elegant embroidery and sequins that make you look young and so beautiful.

Short Kurta Salwar Fashion

Fashion has certainly come of age. Short Kurta Salwar styling products gradually looking more for women. From, galabandhs, jodhpuris kurtas with stoles and even Lady dhoti, the software has been improved. Casual change. The latest fad seems to be a short Kurta / Kurti. Shalwar Kamez is a collection of Kurti, Salwar Kurta short, wear embroidered party, Kurta, Lady kurtas, Salwar Kurtis set for formal occasions, evening Lady Kurtis, kurtas in traditional colors and shopping more.

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand, Best for EID

2011-10-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 1

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 2

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 3

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 4

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 5

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 6

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 76

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand 65

Arabic Mehndi Designs For Hand

Arabic Mehndi designs for hand, Best EID: Arabic Mehndi designs is one of the most popular modes of Mehndi in the world. Mehndi is a traditional art, the most famous in the Arab countries, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. This art is gaining popularity in the U.S. and European countries where it is known as henna tattoos, tattoos or artificial. This is a typical Muslim tradition, and girls like to put Mehndi on the hands, feet and other body parts on special occasions like Eid, weddings, engagements, etc.

As Eid is coming in 2011, then share with you some of the beautiful Mehndi designs you'll love to get their hands and decorate with you on this special day of Eid.

Best Beauty Tips

2011-10-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

Best Beauty Tips

Best Beauty Tips

Best Beauty Tips

Best Beauty Tips

Best Beauty Tips

In order to ensure your best, and to improve the beauty regimen that follows, there are many professional beauty tips you can use. According to allure magazine that can even the best bad hair, makeup and skin occasionally. The best tips beauty experts in skin care, hair stylists and makeup artists to ensure we avoid such a day!

Eye shadow

Robert Jones, author of "Secrets of Transformation Transformations Makeup experts unbelievable," said that although the choice of eye shadow, every woman should have for colors that go well with the natural color of your eyes. Therefore, it is important to have a sound that is radically at the color of your eyes on a color wheel to select the contrast. For example, people should choose soft, with blue eyes, warm brown peaches. This gray eyes, is one of the best Best Beauty Tips, the use of brown and purple cold, while those with green eyes through the use of Deep Purple, fishing deep golden brown and become important. But girls with brown eyes, is the winner according to Jones, because they can use any color!

Lipstick

one of the best beauty tips for people with thin lips, according to Jones, wearing a lipstick color. For people with fuller lips lipstick can light and darkness. To begin, first fill your lips with a natural tone lip pencil and then a small amount of concealed on the upper and lower lip. This is the red light lip look after it is applied to give a better appearance and sensual. To complete the look, a touch of sparkle and glitter, light lips.

Hair care

Shampoo every other day is an important step in order to keep hair in good condition, according to Allure. The brilliance of her hair and her health depends on the natural oils of the hair. Before the shampoo in your hair completely wet. Be sure to rub the shampoo into the scalp, as it ensures that the ends do not dry out. The best beauty tips for hair care can use water cooler to rinse out shampoo that closes the cuticle and hair shining product.

Skin Care

One week, all women have a moisturizing mask after use Mize Shaman is a professional makeup artist. To remove moisture from the skin, use a mask, the hyaluronic acid. Women over 40 should face less often done, because your skin's oil production has slowed at this age, which means that the clogged pores that are not so much a problem as it was in his early years. Instead, it continues to Allure magazine, the best advice for her beauty to use salicylic acid cleanser, your skin is clear.Best Beauty Tips

Many styles of Sexy Bras as there are women

2011-10-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

Sure, there are so many styles of bras sexy than women. Often, the buyer is a woman's lover sexy bra. This can sometimes be as challenging as a lover can be very different aspirations and expectations of the results to buy more than the woman at the end bra. Here are some tips to consider when buying a bra for someone else.

This sexy bra is a gift for both of us, not you. It makes little sense in a purchase that was never worn because the style is outside of his comfort zone. Think about your preferences, body shape and personality.sexy bra, bra lover, buy a bra, wear bras.

Under the wire styles are available in smaller sizes, if she finds them more comfortable, and the sports bra is a good investment because it certainly involved in gymnastics and other activities where additional support is welcome.

To purchase a memorable, many teenage girls to choose matching bra and panty sets that will make them feel smart and attractive. Parents can also set to present such a gift in memory of her daughter's new role of a young woman.

Endless Love

2011-10-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

It’s always been my intention to live as long as humanly possible. Many people say they only want to survive until they lose their health and independence, but I don’t care about that stuff. For me, even complete senility isn’t a deal-breaker. I’ve met some pretty dazed and confused elders who, nonetheless, seem to be happy to open their eyes each morning. The way I see it, you can’t be sure about an afterlife, so I’m going to milk this life for every last conscious moment.
I have reason to think my chances for survival are good: Experts say that 25 to 35 percent of life expectancy is genetic (the rest is lifestyle and environment), and my four grandparents, who range in age from 86 to 97, show no intention of leaving us, or each other, anytime soon. They cling so stubbornly to their independence—often against the advice of doctors and loved ones—that my mother jokingly calls them “elderly delinquents.” When one grandfather recently injured his shoulder and his doctor suggested moving my grandmother into a nursing home until he’d recovered enough to resume the cooking and driving he does for the two of them, my grandfather insisted we find another solution. “We’ve been together for over 60 years,” he told me. “I couldn’t sleep at night without her.” After all that time together, he still leaves notes at her bedside, telling her he loves her and that she’s beautiful, in case she wakes in the middle of the night and is disoriented or lonely.
While their enduring love is my ideal, in the past I imagined I’d spend my dotage alone—most women do. Eight out of 10 centenarians (people who live to 100 or older) are women, and only 13 percent of women over age 85 are married (78 percent are widows; the remaining 9 percent are either divorced, separated, or never married). The best-case scenario I could come up with was a sort of Golden Girls thing, where my girlfriends and I would move in with each other. However, they’ve been irritatingly unwilling to get on board my “live forever” bandwagon. When I tried to persuade one friend to quit smoking so we could retire to Boca together, she rolled her eyes and lit up. “I’m not like you. I don’t want to live until I’m a vegetable,” she said. “If I stub my toe, I want them to pull the plug.”
Then I met my husband. In addition to his many other alluring attributes, he revealed one tantalizing fact over the course of our courtship: Several of his grandparents and great-grandparents survived well into their 90s, and his great-aunt was, at the time of her death at 119, the oldest woman in the world. Now here was a gene pool I could work with!
While it’s still a long shot for us both to make it to those rockers on the front porch, recent research shows it’s not as unlikely as it once was. The over-85 age group is currently the fastest growing segment of the population. Life expectancy has increased radically over the past century due to improvements in public health, such as vaccination and antibiotics, and promises to continue its upward climb, thanks to better medical care for top killers like heart disease and cancer.
Men still lag behind women in longevity—as of 2000, they had about five fewer years of life expectancy—but the age gap is narrowing. According to a 2005 report from the U.S. Census Bureau, this is not only because men respond better to treatments for heart disease than women do, but also because women have taken up smoking in increased numbers and more are dying of lung cancer. The government also points to evidence that, while men’s health doesn’t seem to be affected by the increasing pace of American life, women may be more likely to suffer negative consequences from the “stresses related to multiple roles such as housework, occupational activities, caregiving roles including child care and elder care, social activities, etc.” So even though my husband is five years older than I am, with his genes and my stress level, perhaps we can time it so that we’ll dwindle synchronically.
Of course, the only drawback to loving someone so much you never want them to die is that it means spending a lot of time worrying about keeping them alive. The pressure of another 60-odd years of lying awake at night fretting about everything from my husband’s red meat consumption to his exposure to PCBs has been daunting, especially added to my workload of worry about my own health and that of our children. So I was relieved to see research in February’s "Archives of Internal Medicine" on the “modifiable factors” associated with exceptional longevity in men. Finally, some guidance about where to focus my anxiety.
The paper looked at 2,357 men in the Physicians’ Health Study, starting in their early seventies and following them for 25 years (if they survived) into their nineties. The group was pretty homogenous (mostly white, healthy for their age, and all doctors), but the author, Laurel B. Yates, MD, MPH, associate physician at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School, points out that this is actually something of an advantage because there’s less chance that socioeconomic, educational, or racial disparities will confound her data. Yates and her team found that the men who abided by five simple Dos and Don’ts had a 54 percent chance of surviving to age 90.
1. Don’t smoke. Current smoking—even in the absence of any other risk factor—doubled men’s risk of dying before age 90. It also reduced their mental and physical competence. “Smoking is just bad for everything,” Yates says. “Bad for the blood vessels, bad for the brain, bad for the lungs, and certainly it’s carcinogenic. Smoking has so many ramifications that it’s number one.” And she emphasizes that it’s never too late to quit; smokers who did stop before the study began erased most of their tobacco-associated risk of death. To encourage a partner to give up cigarettes, she says, the best you can do is provide them with information in a supportive way and hope they make the right decision: “They have to be ready and willing to do it on their own.”
2. Don’t become diabetic. Being a diabetic was nearly as detrimental to men’s longevity as smoking. In other studies, metabolic syndrome—a precursor to diabetes marked by high blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar—is significantly associated with senility. The best way to ward off diabetes is to avoid becoming overweight, Yates says, which is an area in which spouses can have an “enormous” impact. “In any relationship, particularly the longer ones, you know what buttons not to push, and you know that you get less distance out of nagging than honey,” she says. “This is a wonderful opportunity to do things together. Use a little psychology and say, ‘You know, I want to start walking, will you go with me?’” She also notes, “In this country, women still do most of the cooking, so there is certainly room to control diet and portions.”
3. Don’t be obese. Have you ever noticed that when you see a really old person walking down the street, they’re usually on the svelte side? As the nation has gotten heavier, obesity is one of the biggest threats to the gains we have made in public health and life expectancy, Yates says. It reduced men’s chances of surviving until age 90 to just 32 percent. Obesity is medically defined as having a BMI of more than 30 (for the average 5'9" American male, this would mean weighing about 203 pounds). If the love of your life is pushing this kind of weight around, it’s time to use Yates’ tactics to manipulate, I mean encourage, him to lose at least 10 percent of his body weight.
4. Don’t have high blood pressure. In this study, hypertension reduced the chances of men’s survival to extreme old age to 42 percent. Maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, not smoking, limiting sodium, and consuming moderate amounts of alcohol are all proven ways to keep blood pressure in check. Also, a study this past spring of people aged 20 to 68 found that those who reported they were in satisfying marriages had lower blood pressure than singles or those in unhappy marriages. So if things are rocky with your partner, think of couples counseling this way: It may save not only your relationship, but your lives.
5. Do exercise. Men in the study who got regular, vigorous (meaning they worked up a sweat) exercise two to four times a week reduced their risk of mortality by up to 30 percent. They were also less frail and more able to carry out the physical functions of daily life independently. Interestingly, the research found no connection between cholesterol levels or alcohol consumption and men’s mortality, although other research has found moderate drinking to add longevity. And because the study was not originally designed to assess longevity (it began as an evaluation of whether low doses of aspirin and beta carotene supplements reduce cancer and heart disease), there was no data to look at some of the social factors that have been found to influence risk of death in the elderly. So to the list of medical Dos and Don’ts, I’ll add two social ones:
6. Do keep up your sex life. While all those ads for drugs that treat erectile dysfunction (ED) do a good job of making a flaccid penis look like an aphrodisiac, the truth is that ED in middle-aged men can be a sign of heart trouble. Several studies have linked the two, and one late last year found that a flagging erection can predict cardiovascular troubles such as angina, stroke, and heart attacks by about five years. Research published this spring on Viagra users found a high incidence of underlying cardiovascular disease. Sexy! Simply telling your partner how his health habits might effect his virility is often all you need to get a guy off the couch, says cardiologist Mehmet Oz, MD, author of "You: Staying Young: The Owner’s Manual for Extending Your Warranty." Men don’t respond to emotional appeals about future death in the same way a woman would, he says. “Tell them it’s going to affect their performance today—their athletic ability, their mental acuity, impotence,” he says. “Men don’t care about being thin. They want to be masculine and physical.”
7. Take care of yourself. There is ample evidence that marriage is especially important to men’s health, both because wives tend to provide care for their husbands in old age and because men seem to find being widowed more depressing than women do. Single older men have one of the highest suicide rates of any age group, says William Hall, MD, director at the Highland Hospital Center for Healthy Aging at the University of Rochester Medical Center, and studies have shown that widowed men have a high risk of dying in the year after their wives pass on. “Those men aren’t committing suicide,” he says. “They tend to just lose interest in life, as mystical as that sounds.” So one of the best things you can do for his health is make sure you stick around for the long haul too.

Sexy Breast

2011-10-08T23:38:00.000-07:00

The first time my boyfriend Matt announced he was a sex addict was just a few weeks into our relationship; we were swapping confessions. This one, however, sounded really lame.
“Of course you are,” I said. “You’re a guy.” Even if he really did think he was a sex addict, he certainly wasn’t a very good one. For much of the first year we were together, his interest in sex was annoyingly low. Once, when we were in the process of moving in together, I set up a scavenger hunt in the apartment, and the treasure at the end was a lace teddy I’d bought as a surprise. I modeled it, but he barely gave me a glance and insisted I throw on a T-shirt and help him unpack the kitchen. As soon as all the boxes were empty, he fell asleep.
Still, there was no one I loved more than my sweet, nerdy Matt—the way he’d dance around the house with socks on his hands; his beef jerky collection. I couldn’t imagine life without him. He’d write me love e-mails even if I was in the other room, and he IM’d me one afternoon out of nowhere: “You’re beyond goodness; you’re a streetlight on cracked pavement, ketchup on fries. I’m never letting you go.”
Intimacy, however, always felt slightly out of reach. After we’d been together about a year, I tried to express the fact that, even when all systems were go, sex with him often left me feeling bereft, not desired. He accused me of having unrealistically romantic expectations. “Sometimes,” he said, “sex is just sex.” This, I suppose, could have been interpreted as a handy rationalization from someone who’d been having it—lots of it—with other women.
Sex addiction has been a subject of psychiatric discourse since Freud—long before 76 percent of Us Weekly readers said, no, they would not dump David Duchovny as he was shipped off to sex addict camp last fall. But the idea that addictions are diseases and not just moral weaknesses is relatively new. The realization that alcoholism can afflict a seemingly thriving, successful CEO (and not just an unreliable sad sack) only became widespread in the 1950s, with the growing gospel of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sex addiction is decades behind alcoholism in terms of acceptance, partially because it’s not as easily defined, according to Patrick J. Carnes, PhD, executive director of Pine Grove Behavioral Center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and, until 2004, clinical director for sexual disorder services at the Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona, where Duchovny was reportedly admitted. The label, he says, fits everyone from pedophiles to cyberporn addicts to relationship drama junkies to exhibitionists—all people for whom sex overrides any sense of order in their lives.

How Breakups Affect Bedtime

2011-10-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

“I think I’m suffering from empty bed syndrome,” my friend Anne groaned. A serial monogamist, she had just broken up with her most recent boyfriend.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” laughed my friend Courtney sympathetically.
“What’s empty bed syndrome?” I asked curiously, pretty sure that I knew, but wanting to clarify because Anne was constantly coining new phrases.
“It’s how sometimes all you want is a warm body to cuddle with, especially when you’re used to having one—and when you don’t you really miss it, you know?” she replied.
No, actually I didn’t know. As a 23-year-old virgin I’d never really had a relationship. Sure, as a single girl in New York City I’d had a string of brief flings. But despite some flirting and making out the intimacy was never really there. I’d held out for so long, I was in no rush to break my chastity vow. I was once even referred to as a prude (that’s the general response you get when, after getting pleasured you refuse to reciprocate and fall into a deep, comfortable sleep). But that was okay by me, because even though said name-caller was attractive I wasn’t really interested in him—definitely not enough to jeopardize my “V Club” status. My new, plush pillow-top mattress was my pride and joy, and I wanted it all to myself.
But then Adam came along. He liked my comfortable bed too—in fact, he jokingly referred to it as my “man snare.” Adam was my first “real” relationship, and my first certifiable boyfriend. He was the coworker of a friend of mine from college, and I met him at one of their after-work hangouts. That night, I beat him in pool (which isn’t saying much about his game, because I can barely hold a cue stick), he told me his favorite book was Catcher in the Rye (I pointed out that the novel is also popular among serial killers), and he asked me if I was into porn (no comment). Not a particularly redeeming chain of events, but he was tall (I’m 5’7", so this was a definite plus) and cute and once I got past his sarcastic, hardened exterior I realized he was a total goofball like me.
Case in point: After getting my number, he left the bar—only to walk back in the pouring rain moments later to ask for it again because he’d accidentally misentered it into his cell phone. He later walked me home, hanging on my every word, and promptly called a couple days later to ask me out. From there, it was an innocent, storybook romance. Though he was no virgin like me, Adam was nearly as clueless, if not more so, in the relationship department. After a coffee-and-park first date, we proceeded to a movie date where while walking to catch me a ride home he stopped mid-stride: “Can I kiss you?” he asked shyly, hands in pockets, as we stood facing each other on the street corner, an impatient cab driver waiting to whisk me away. I told him that, yes, he could, so we each removed our respective pieces of gum—awkwardly tossing the chewed-up wads in a nearby trash bin—and nervously but anxiously turned back toward each other. His kiss was sweet (literally, thanks to the gum) and for a moment the world melted away. It was during that split second I realized this wouldn’t just be another fling. This could be the real deal.
For awhile, it was just that. He was a second-year investment banker and worked constantly but made a point to call me every evening. We’d talk for hours about anything and everything and saw each other steadily about every other day during the first two months even though I lived on the Upper East Side and he resided in the East Village (which, in Manhattan, is like living on two different continents). I felt comfortable in the relationship. Comfortable enough that for my 24th birthday I told him I wanted to have sex. “Oh God, I’m the one-minute man,” he laughed after a surprisingly brief, anticlimactic finish. But as time went on we found our groove and I realized what I’d been missing out on.
Of course, all good things must come to an end, and eventually I was left with an emotionally unavailable boyfriend and a seven-month-long relationship that appeared to be tapering off instead of moving forward. I had one last glimmer of hope when he finally took me up on a romantic museum-and-movie outing but back at my apartment, the carefree date took on a decidedly serious tone. On my couch, Adam sat several feet away from me instead of initiating our usual TV-watching cuddle position. “So, I’ve been thinking,” he began, pausing. “And I think we’d be better off as friends.”
Rewind. What? My heart dropped in my chest, and my ears started ringing. I was completely blindsided; our fun-filled day had put me on cloud nine and now I was in freefall. “I never planned on having a girlfriend,” he continued, citing his 10-year plan of traveling the world and going to graduate business school to become an economist (insert yawn here). He also threw in that I just wasn’t The One (ouch). He got upset when he learned that I didn’t want his friendship and wrote me a postmortem e-mail the next day saying that even though he thought this was for the best, he couldn’t imagine his life without me.
But the damage was done. For the first time ever, I experienced empty bed syndrome. And in my particular situation, it was especially bad because Adam, despite being a financially blessed investment banker, was a tightwad and never bothered to upgrade his twin bed from childhood, so every time I stayed over at his apartment our bodies were pressed up against each other as the only means of staying on the mattress. Spooning was a matter of survival.
You’d think, after many near-falls onto the floor, I wouldn’t miss that crammed situation, but breakups work in mysterious ways. Since our blowout in January, it took me months to feel seminormal again and even though I was hurt, sad, and angry I spent most nights hugging the furry remnants of our relationship—i.e., a stuffed ewe he bought me while on vacation in Australia. After many lonely winter nights with Wooly, months of therapy, journaling, and support from friends who had been there, done that, I finally got over Adam and empty bed syndrome, and moved on.
It’s been more than four years since the breakup and I firmly believe that it’s true what they say (or at least, what Sheryl Crow says): The first cut is the deepest. I’ve loved more intensely—and lost just as much—since Adam, and my heart is stronger now. Over that initial wound, scar tissue has formed and I’m happier in my own skin. Wooly and other stuffed substitutes are no more, and instead of keeping to one side of the bed, I sleep in the starfish position, embracing the space that being single provides—knowing there’s always my comforter to keep me warm.

The Importance of Friendship

2011-10-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

When Harvard University social scientist Nicholas Christakis and University of California, San Diego professor James Fowler published their groundbreaking study about the contagion of obesity in 2007, the duo was particularly amused by the difference between how American and European headline writers framed the findings. The paper, published in The New England Journal of Medicine to much fanfare, revealed that weight gain could spread like a cold or flu, “infecting” friends and family out to three degrees of separation. In other words, if your friend’s friend’s friend gains weight, it increases your risk of getting fat—and the closer the degree of separation between you and the person beefing up, the more likely you’ll pack on some pounds as well. “American headline writers all said, ‘Are you gaining weight? Blame your fat friends,’ ” Christakis says. “The Europeans asked, ‘If your friends are gaining weight, are you to blame?’"
The American viewpoint tends toward individualism and self-focus. We are, after all, a nation in which calling a politician a socialist is akin to calling him a child molester. But over the past few years, with the publication of their research and, last fall, of their mind-blowing book, Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives, Christakis and Fowler have been methodically turning American narcissism on its head, showing that everything from whether you vote, marry, divorce, have kids, smoke, gain weight, donate money, become depressed or happy or violent or lonely is consciously—and subconsciously—influenced by your social circle. “The arguments in our book give a whack to free will,” Christakis says. And, the authors write, “Recognition of this loss of self-direction can be shocking.”
However, in this loss there’s a gain: We may be under the sway of others, but they are also under our sway. We have real power to change the lives of thousands of people, considering that our capacity for persuasion generally extends to three degrees, and that psychologist Stanley Milgram posited in the 1960s that the whole world is, on average, separated by only six degrees. It’s pretty heady stuff: When you smile at a neighbor or donate money to UNICEF, for example, your action travels like a wave, washing over thousands of other people, nudging them toward happiness and charity.
Based on Christakis and Fowler’s research, here are some ideas for magnifying and maximizing your ability to pay it forward:
1. Have a Party
People who are “central” to their social networks not only themselves have a lot of friends, but their friends also have more friends. And the more central your position in your social network, the better a vector you are for ideas, viruses, and habits. So the center is a bad place to be if swine flu is going around, but a great place to be if happiness or money is in the air. Christakis and Fowler call it the “centrality premium.” Assuming your goal is to pass around the good stuff rather than syphilis or suicidal ideation, your best bet is to maintain your current relationships while making new friends as well, allowing your influence to stretch as far as possible. (Also, bonus mitzvah: You could even make a match. In a study of American married couples, more than two thirds were introduced by a friend or family member.)
2. Lose Weight
Since Christakis and Fowler published their study showing that obesity was socially transmissible among members of the famous Framingham Heart Study (it wasn’t just that birds of a feather flock together: People were actually making one another gain—and, sometimes, lose—weight), the finding has been confirmed in multiple other populations. So how do people infect each other with fat? One way is imitation. Brain scans show that when you watch someone else eat or run, your brain activity is the same as if you were eating or running yourself, priming you to do the same things. And people in experiments seated next to robust eaters will eat more than those seated next to light eaters. Social norms also play a role: If your friend gains weight, you might become less motivated to go to the gym because your friend’s example showed you that weight gain isn’t the end of the world. She’s heavier but still the same person you know and love. And now that 66 percent of the American population is overweight or obese, that’s a pretty well-established social norm.
Happily, this effect could be turned on its head if people worked to establish an opposite social norm—weight loss can spread just as easily as weight gain if you seed your network with fat-fighting habits. In Christakis and Fowler’s book, they suggest starting a running club containing friends of friends so that you’re surrounding yourself and your closest contacts with exercisers (and remember, when people see you run, it makes their brains think about running too). You can also make healthier food choices and eat with greater restraint. If you take a pass on the fries and eat more vegetables, your pals are more likely to make the same choices. And then, once you reach a healthier weight, you might shift the norms in your group.
If you’re thinking that sounds like a lot of work and maybe it would just be easier to ditch friends who gain weight to prevent them from corrupting you, Christakis says he and Fowler actually looked into this as a diet method and found that it didn’t work. People who cut ties with a fat friend didn’t lose weight, possibly because the toll of losing a friend counteracted weight-loss efforts.

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name

2011-10-08T23:09:00.000-07:00

I’m in the early hours of the morning, ponied up to a bar with a few friends, among them a strikingly beautiful, model-tall female we’ll call Shannon. We’re however many drinks in—that’s inconsequential, really, but alcohol is always motivating—and leaning into each another with droopy lids and grinning mouths. She smells good. I smell good. Our chemistries are working. I throw back the rest of my beer and slide the glass toward the bartender. She does the same. Then there’s that look. We shoot it to each other, almost simultaneously, knowing that the moment is coming. And then we’re kissing—no, we’re making out. I’m an out gay man, and I’m ferociously necking with a woman.
I’d feel more self-conscious copping to this habit of mine if I thought I were the only homosexual male in my set—educated, liberal, sexually exploratory—who indulged. That’s not to say that all gay men and straight women—however liberal—do it. In both groups you’ll find more who never would. After all, the idea of two people with very different sexual identities and attractions ending up tongue-tied is tinged with the absurd, even the pathetic. I don’t want to have sex with her, and she doesn’t want to have sex with me. So why are we engaged in the most overt sexual act a person can perform in public?
My lady-kissing started (or continued, I guess, but more on that later) after I came out. I got my first boyfriend as a 21-year-old senior at New York University, but only after I’d been in the relationship for a while did I gain the confidence to slow-roll my coming out to family and friends; and by 23—after falling deeply in love postcollege—I was a proud gay man to most everyone I knew. Given my upbringing in a small, conservative Arkansas town, you might think I’d be one of those stereotypical farm boys who, after coming to terms with his sexuality, embarks on a series of meaningless hookups. But I had a worldly, sex-positive mother who, from as early as I can remember, looked me and my brothers calmly in the eye and said, “Sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing.” Then she’d break out the Where Did I Come From? book, and we’d go through it page by page as she explained the hows and whys of that wonderful, beautiful thing. I perceived sex as more healthy (and possibly transcendent) than raunchy; I was more inquisitive about it than intimidated. All of which is to say that when I did come out, I didn’t throw on a mesh tank top and hot pants and take my new status as license to become sexually reckless with anyone, male or female.
At the most surface level, I kissed girls because, hey, it’s a good time. Kissing is a sensual experience, and I fancy myself as somewhat of a hedonist who’ll take his pleasures where he can get them. I appreciate physicality for its own sake, relish close contact with other bodies. But did kissing a girl ever make me want more? Did it arouse me? No. Gross. (Kidding—I’m not one of those gay men who’s disgusted by female anatomy.) Yet no matter how sexy the kiss, I just don’t get turned on. So, again, why bother? Why not just find a guy and optimize my pleasure? If only it were that simple.
Growing up in the South, there were activities in which I partook because they’re what Southern boys do: fishing, hunting, camping, riding four-wheelers, watching football, and drinking beer—all with a very close cadre of guys (and no, I didn’t lust after them). So far, those male friendships remain largely unmatched, and when I was on the brink of coming out, perhaps my biggest fear was losing them. It’s not that I thought my crew would write me off out of bigotry, but that they’d see me as this gay dude who’d only done boy stuff because he had to—that I’d be relegated to the cheerleading squad. Thankfully, that didn’t happen at all. I was anxious for everyone to know that I was the same old Seth, except for one little thing—and it turned out they knew it before I did. In the broader world, however, outside the cocoon of my closest confidants, I remained worried about being stripped of my masculinity. One way to display it was to hit traditional heterosexual markers. Yes, he may be gay, but I’ll be damned if he can’t get a beautiful female to find him so attractive that she’ll overlook his sexual predilection and stick her tongue in his mouth.
As the slip into the third person betrays, for me the spectacle was nothing without the audience. I’m not saying I rallied crowds to watch the gay get the girl, but being in the vicinity of others not only didn’t make me hesitate, it encouraged me. Once, Shannon and I went at it right in front of her boyfriend. In retrospect, he had every reason to want to throttle me for being such an asshole, but for some reason he didn’t flinch. Still, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel victorious when, in that moment, she chose me over him.
More fulfilling than making out with a girl in front of her boyfriend was doing it in front of certain gay men—one certain gay man, to be precise. Some prologue: If my first boyfriend, in my NYU days, helped me to peek my head out of the closet, it was Todd who pulled open the door, held out his hand, and yanked me into a glorious light that I thought we’d bask in forever. We’d met my senior year, when I was interning at Saturday Night Live and he was in another division at NBC as part of a “semester abroad” from his college in Santa Fe. He’d come out as a freshman, and I admired his conviction to live an open and happy life. Mild flirtation ensued, but he had a boyfriend, so I had to settle for infatuation. Post-graduation, after a summer at home in Arkansas, I moved to Colorado to spend a season as a bartending ski bum. Todd had returned to Santa Fe to finish his undergrad degree, and owing in part to our regional proximity, we struck up an affair (he’d broken up with his boyfriend). We talked all night every night, totally enamored in the getting-to-know-you phase, and I obsessively imagined our future together as Seth and Todd. I drove to Santa Fe twice, and we spent those weekends in isolated bliss. We never formally declared ourselves boyfriends, but by the spring, I’d fallen so deeply in love I was prepared to do anything for him, including move back to New York and come out fully, which I did.
Once back in the city, however, Todd told me he only wanted to be friends, and, stupidly, I pretended to try, holding on to a glimmer of hope that he’d eventually realize what a catch I was. I tried everything to get him back, including listening to him as he talked about boys who weren’t me and…making out with girls in front of him. It was my way of peacocking, of getting him to see me as someone who was worthy of being lusted after. No matter how drunk and cruisey I got at a gay bar, I would never have done it with a guy in front of him—I couldn’t risk Todd thinking I’d ceded even a modicum of love for him.

Sonakshi Sinha rocked a scarlet shift dress and long black tresses at the launch of My Ferragamo new collection in Mumbai

2011-10-07T10:41:00.001-07:00

Sonakshi Sinha rocked a scarlet shift dress and long black tresses at the launch of My Ferragamo new collection in Mumbai on September 29.“Just launched the new “my ferragamo” collection! Luuurrrvveeed it!” Sonakshi tweeted later in the day.
The 23-year-old Bollywood debutante is riding a high following the success of Salman’s her film Dabangg.
Sonakshi’s sleeveless dress had a nipped waist.
Her all black accessories included: black flats, a glossy messenger bag worn across shoulder, stud earrings, and a chunky square dial watch in her left arm.
Her straight long hair was styled in a side pony tail with bangs framing the left side of her face. She wore a signature nose ring and red lipstick.

Sophie Kinsella (a.k.a. Madeleine Wickham) skyrocketed to fame with her addictive Shopaholic book series

2011-10-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

Courtesy Dial Press
Sophie Kinsella (a.k.a. Madeleine Wickham) skyrocketed to fame with her addictive Shopaholic book series. But behind stylish heroine Becky Bloomwood (a.k.a. Rebecca Brandon) isn’t a label-addicted fashionista, but rather, a charming, down-to-earth mom who spends every free moment with her husband Henry and their sons Freddy, 14, Hugo, 12, Oscar, 5, and Rex, 5 months.
We recently had the chance to speak with Kinsella about her latest novel, Mini Shopaholic, which sends Becky through adventures in parenting — and shopping, of course! Here’s what she had to say.What inspired Mini Shopaholic?Well, it’s really the next episode in Becky’s life, and ever since she got pregnant in Shopaholic and Baby, it’s been on the horizon … she would have to deal with motherhood. I just thought, ‘My God, she’s had so many challenges in her life, but this is the biggest one by a long way.’ She still has that same Becky energy and gusto, but maybe she doesn’t get ‘it’ right every single time.Why did you choose to make the recession a focal point of the book?
It’s been so important for all of us: we’ve all lived through it, it’s been on the front pages of the papers. And I think it would be kind of impossible to write a book about shopping in these times, and not reflect the economic climate.
Plus, I think it adds something to the whole shopping experience — you feel conflicted, you feel guilty, you feel like you shouldn’t be shopping so much. I think that people don’t stop wanting to shop just because of the recession, but they have to do it differently and think about it differently.
Did that angle make the book harder to write?It made it more interesting, actually, because it’s not as simple as Becky going shopping, it’s Becky wanting to shop … but she can’t! She tries to barter goods, she goes to the pound shop (dollar store) and she has a clothes audit of all her clothes. It heightens her problems. But it’s nice to think that however bad things are, you can still find some comedy in the situation. That’s what I like to do.Are the characters based on anyone you’ve encountered in life?
There are definitely bits of me in Becky, although she has sort of turned into her own person over the years. And I think probably bits of my family and friends go into all the characters, but it’s not deliberate: they feel like they are their own world, but I’m sure I’m drawing from friends all the time without even realizing it.
Luckily, all my children are boys! Minnie (Becky’s daughter) is definitely fictional, but she feels very real, because I wanted to give her the traits of Becky and Luke, so she’d really feel like she’s their daughter and you would recognize the parents in her. And I do feel that’s the case — she’s very much their progeny.
Did you always want Luke to be such a foil for Becky?
I did. He’s quite stern and commanding and a successful businessman, but at the same time, he knows Becky and he loves her for what she is. So even when she’s wild and crazy he’ll forgive her, but he also tries to point her in the right direction.
They have a good banter — I find that a great thing to write, the sparks between them. She does something, and you’re already thinking, ‘What’s Luke going to say?’
Do you think this book will resonate with moms, since it involves a child?I think so. I think there’s the ‘mom’ element to it, and there’s the general shopping, throwing a party, shopping on a budget … so I think there’s something in it for everybody. But I think that all the moms out there will nod, and remember going shopping with a toddler and the toddler tantrums in shops. Every single mom has been there!

Courtesy Dial Press

Speaking of moms, how are your boys doing?
They’re good! Three of them are way past the tantrum stage, and one hasn’t reached it yet, so I’m in the clear for the moment. We have every age group represented, so it keeps us busy.
Rex has been such a little addition to the family, and even the big ones, they’re really sweet with him, and they play with him. It’s been really nice. I’m very happy with the four. I’m always one to never say never, but I’m pretty sure four is my limit.
What are they into these days?They’re kind of into surfing — we went surfing on our holiday, so they’re into the sun-bleached hair. Unfortunately the winter is coming though, so that won’t last. The 5-year-old is mad about Ben 10. I’d never heard of it until he announced he was Ben 10. We have to call him Ben 10, he wears Ben 10 T-shirts … it’s just hilarious!How do you balance your work with motherhood?
Well it’s juggling, like any other working mother does. I treat writing like a job: what I don’t do is try and fit it around the edges. I make it a priority. The children are at school while I’m writing my book, and then I’ll stop in the afternoon, play with the baby, the kids come home from school. Then I might go back to writing in the evening after all is done.
I’m lucky, I work from home most of the time so that helps. And I couldn’t do what I do without having a great husband who’s really supportive and hands-on, and really pitches in with the children.
Since you are surrounded by so many males, is Shopaholic your escape?
It’s an escape from real life and it’s a very girly world, and it helps me indulge that side of me. In real life, I do my best, but my boys are never going to come shopping with me! Luckily I have two sisters, a niece, lots of girlfriends … so I have plenty of people to go shopping with!
When I meet readers, what’s so great is that it feels like we have a friend in common. We all know Becky, and that’s really fun! Somehow, it’s not like meeting somebody for the first time … it’s like meeting a friend of a friend. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Life Quotes

2011-10-04T12:37:00.001-07:00

Life Quotes

1. “The consequences of today are determined by the actions of the past. To change your future, alter your decisions today.” ~ Anonymous
   2. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein
   3. “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
   4. “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
   5. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs
   6. “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
   7. “We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.” – T. S. Eliot
   8. “There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”
   9. “For every effect there is a root cause. Find and address the root cause rather than try to fix the effect, as there is no end to the latter.”
10. “When you don’t get what you want, you suffer. If you get it, you suffer too since you can’t hold on to it forever.” – Peaceful Warrior, on the fallacy of attachment
11. “Every moment you get is a gift. Spend it on things that matter. Don’t spend it by dwelling on unhappy things.”
12. “There are no ordinary moments. There is always something going on.” – Peaceful Warrior
13. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
14. Everything around us is made up of energy. To attract positive things in your life, start by giving off positive energy.
15. Don’t put off living to next week, next month, next year or next decade. The only time you’re ever living is in this moment.
16. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. – Mark Twain
17. Life is a gift. Never forget to enjoy and bask in every moment you are in.
18. The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced – Art Van Der Leeuw
19. “My life is my message.” – Gandhi
20. “If wrinkles must be written upon our brow, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old.” – James A. Garfield
21. “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”
22. “In the beginning you will fall into the gaps in between thoughts – after practicing for years, you become the gap.” – J.Kleykamp (Regarding meditation)
23. “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~ Jim Rohn

Christian Audigier Grenade Platinum Aqua Tee for Men

2011-10-04T12:31:00.001-07:00

The Christian Audigier Grenade Platinum Aqua Tee for Men CAT-063. Winged grenade screen print detail on the center. Small Winged grenade heap up at the bottom. Script of "Christian Audiger" on front AND the "CA" logo at shoulder. This 100-percent cotton T-shirt is fashion forward. Available in red and aqua color option.

Bold colors Boots

2011-10-04T12:10:00.001-07:00

Bright colours is the Fashion Trend of Spring 2011. Put your blacks, grays, browns and boring monotones boots in the back of your closet and wake up your spirit by adding some excitement to your wardrobe. Boots come in all colors. You will get orange, red, blue, purple and even pink. Some have bold prints to go with the bright colors, and for the not so daring, some are a little simpler.