A few weeks ago I was playing with the little girl I nanny for. She had just gotten this toy with a mirror and every time I turned the mirror to her she would light up when she saw her reflection. The family also has a large full-length mirror in the house and when we pass it I stop and let her look at herself. She always gives the same joyful reaction to seeing her reflection. It made me start to wonder, at what age does that change for us? Our initial instinct when we see what we look like as babies is happiness. She’s not sitting there critiquing herself or comparing herself to another. She’s not letting herself be defined by someone else. She’s just happy. At some point we all start to let others define our beauty and worth. We all do it. Yet, the thought of my child one day doing that just breaks my heart. How could my child not know how important he is?

A few days ago I heard that a 13 year-old girl from my small hometown committed suicide because she was being bullied for a very long time. I didn’t know the girl personally, but her story has been haunting me all week. She had reached a place where she thought she had no worth at all. I can guarantee you her family felt very differently. I have no idea what her home life was like. Maybe her parents were telling her everyday how much they loved her. Sometimes, unfortunately, we choose not to hear that. My parents were always extremely supportive of me and they’ve continued to be into my adult life. But there were times growing up that their words of love and adoration didn’t penetrate my heart. Instead I focused on the boy who had teased me during recess saying that my glasses made me look like a toad. In those moments I was letting bullies define my value because I believed what they were saying. We’ve all done that in our lives. We’ve all let others dictate how we feel. It breaks my heart that this girl had begun to believe all the hurtful things that were being said to her.

Last summer I went to camp with Brendon’s youth group. I’ve been going to and working for summer Bible camps for over 10 years so I have heard some lackluster speakers, a handful of interesting ones and only a couple who have been exceptional. The speaker last summer, Josh Riebock, truly was an exception. He was raw and absolutely honest about his failures. He told us his story about how he completed the 12-step program for self-hatred. He really hated the person he was. During worship one of the evenings the band was singing a song with the lyrics, “So I’ll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is yours, all I am is yours.” After the song Josh walked up to the microphone and said God had given him a revelation while we were singing. We as humans are so broken and it’s so easy for us to forget our value. He said he was finally starting to figure it out. As he was singing he realized that when we sing that song God is thinking, “You still don’t get it. You don’t get it.” Josh said as many times as we sing those words to God, He is singing it back to us a hundred million times louder saying, ‘No, all I AM is yours.” We won’t ever begin to understand our worth until we link our identity with the One who created us. That’s when we stop letting others define us and allow ourselves to be defined by Him. Yes, I’m a little dorky sometimes, yes, I suppose my glasses do make me look like a toad to some people, but my life has an incredible and irreplaceable value. I have a God who not only created me, but loved and accepted me before I even took my first breath. Out of all the things I want my child to learn in life, embracing the wholeness of God’s love is my most sincere hope.

As I was writing this post I looked up Josh on Facebook and someone had tagged him in one of his speeches. I started listening to it and a smile slowly crept across my face as I realized how much his topic correlates with what has been on my heart this week.

To hear his video go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/Josh-Riebock/221730051185951 and scroll down to April 9th. (There’s a long intro you can skip over)

Blessings,
Shanna

About the Author:
I’m Shanna, mother-to-be, photographer, wife, and stay-at-home mom in training. How do you train to be a stay-at-home mom? I work as a nanny during the day for a sweet baby girl who has spoiled me to the point where I am now delusional enough to think that every baby can put themselves to sleep on a regular basis.

The same is true of perspective in life…

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal. ~2 Corinthians 4:18

When the hope of heaven entered our life through Christ, God made available to each of us the incredible opportunity to view our life’s situations with an eternal perspective. Rather than the looking at our circumstances through a limited earthly sight, we can look through the eyes of God with a heavenly perspective. It’s a choice. Are we looking at our life with an eternal perspective or a temporal one?

Set your minds on things above not on earthly things. ~Colossians 3:2

We’re encouraged to look above the temporal earthly things of this present life. God’s promises give us hope to believe in what is unseen and offer us a glimpse of God’s heavenly view. The Son of God makes all the precious promises available to us and with them the gift of eternal sight.

When trial comes although it may be so unexpected to me, it isn’t to Him. I sometimes flounder as my earthly point of view overwhelms me…

But there they sit on the counter, my beautifully custom-made pair of Son-glasses. They were given to me by the Son himself and they are found within the love notes written in His Word…

One by one I find them, promises given to me personally. As I surrender and choose to exchange the limitations of my earthly perspective for the heavenly view through the Son of God – suddenly I see things differently.

I remember that my citizenship is really not earthly at all, but rather in heaven. It’s a much better view from there.

What’s your view like today?

About the Author:
I am a very blessed wife and mom! I’m also a pastor and mentor for women at the LA Dream Center, teaching and encouraging women to discover their complete God-given potential. I blog about faith and fitness and enjoying life! You can find me on the web at http://danisejurado.com

Many Christians I know have this verse on a plaque or picture hanging somewhere in their home. It’s a source of pride almost. We are responding to a call, like a warrior off to battle, come what may, regardless of the circumstances, obstacles, or alternatives offered, “We will serve the Lord.”

But, do we really serve Him? We believe in Him. We may have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior. We may go to church on Sundays or occasionally. But, that’s not what the verse says. In most translations, it says “serve.” We will serve the Lord. And, sometimes, I think we have forgotten what that means.
.
James gives us a picture of this in James 2:14-19. He goes into a deep discussion of faith vs. works. James stresses the importance of action, and not just lip service.

“But someone will say, “You have faith. I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that–and shudder.”

This is not to say that works will save you, or that we could somehow earn our salvation through good works or service. We can’t. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. But, as James reminds us, faith isn’t enough. Simply believe that God exists is not enough. Satan and the demons believe that God exists. We have to worship and serve him as well.

Do your actions speak your faith? A lot of us have pictures, jewelry, t-shirts, etc. that speak our faith. But, do our actions speak our faith? Are we really serving God with our lives? I want my actions–the way that I treat people and live my life–to be a testament to my faith much more than the words I speak or the verses that I have written on the walls of our home. Those things are useless without my actions and service to go along with them.

Author Bio:
Crystal Brothers is a daughter of the King, wife to a forest ranger, and full-time mommy to 2 rambunctious little boys. She blogs at  Serving Joyfully —a blog dedicated to encouraging and equipping women to serve God and their families.

As we all know, life is not a world of only rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes life just stinks. We live in a fallen world marred by sin and no matter how much we “confess in faith,” “believe without doubt” and hold fast to the truth of God’s Word, things still go wrong at times. Is that because God has failed or His Word is not valid? No, God is always faithful and His Word is always a solid foundation on which to build our lives.

Today I faced a decision where doing the right thing meant that no one would win (at least not in the short-term scheme of things). I had to release an employee that had been with me for years because he refused to heed my instructions about caution and safety. I considered this person as not just an employee but a friend that I cared for very deeply. However, after repeated instructions to get this employee to obey certain rules of safety, he continued to cross the line. I had no choice but to remove him from his current assignment and recommend a relocation to a new site. His cavalier attitude toward my warnings were placing his safety and the safety of others in jeopardy – as well as the job security of the rest of the team if something was not done.

To be very blunt about it, the truth is that sometimes making the right decision just sucks. Maybe that’s not the language that one should use in Christian blog but it’s the truth. I think this is why we so often back off from doing the “right” thing and we choose the “easy” thing instead. It is far easier not to rock the boat and hope that everyone goes on eating those rainbows and pooping the butterflies so we can all just get along. Unfortunately, if we don’t correct the problems in our lives, our families, our jobs, and other areas, we will pay a price later on. That price is often far more expensive than the price we pay to deal with the issue now.

I know this employee feels like I have ruined his life at the present. He may always feel that way. I can’t control that. Sometimes your kids feel like you are ruining their life when you correct them or tell them “no.” Usually with time and maturity, they get over it and come to an understanding of why you were doing it. They realize that it was done from love and compassion rather from just a desire to punish. Hopefully, my friend and former employee will realize this later as well.

OK, so what if you make a decision regarding someone else (whether that be an employee, friend or other loved one) that you think is right at the time but later turns out to be a bad decision? This certainly can happen and often does. The good news is that it’s not the end of the world. We are all imperfect and make mistakes. God is still ultimately in control not just of our circumstances but of those around us (even if those around us don’t acknowledge Him or follow him – He is still sovereign). If we have sought Him and made our decisions by following Biblical principles and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, He is ultimately responsible for the results – not us.

The best advice I can give on decision making comes from the book of Proverbs in chapter 3 verses 5-6. It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Trust in the Lord with all your heart:  We must acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Lord of our lives, not just as our Savior.  It is important to continually confess our dependence upon Him as the one who orders our lives, guides our decisions, and is responsible for the harvest of the seeds we sow when we are honestly striving to live according to His will.  We can’t compartmentalize our lives and think He is our Savior but not our Lord.  Too many times we want to accept His salvation but keep back parts of us for our own control.  Honestly, He can do more with our lives than we ever thought about or planned for.

Lean not on your own understanding:  This does not mean that we toss away our minds or our reasoning faculties.  One of the things that differentiates us from all the other creatures on the planet is our ability to reason and plan instead of living our lives by pure instinct.  This is one of the things the Bible means when it says we are “created in the image of God.”  We have the ability to reason in the abstract.  We have the ability to create and invent.  We have the ability to use logic.  I would argue that all other creatures operate mostly on instinct rather than this ability for abstract thinking, logic, creation and invention.  This is what makes us like God (at least – in His image).  However, while our minds are powerful, wonderful gifts from God, they must continually be brought under his Lordship by submitting our thoughts and plans to him by obeying Biblical principles and the leading of the Holy Spirit.  The mind of man is a wonderful gift from God but is still fallen and must constantly be submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  By doing this, we can rest assured that we have done all we can do to follow God, and the rest is up to him.  Always keep in mind that we are the sheep, He is the shepherd.  It is the responsibility of the Shepherd to communicate with the sheep.  If we are men and women of prayer, Bible study, and Holy Spirit sensitivity, the responsibility for results rests with God, not with us.

In all your ways acknowledge Him: We must daily, and indeed, moment by moment, acknowledge Him as our source for everything.  Always remember that there is no such thing as a “self-made” man or woman.  Everything we have, everything we are, or everything we ever will be comes from God.  I cringe every time I hear someone say they are a self-made man or woman.  That is such an arrogant statement.  I am a self-made sinner.  Anything good that may come from or through my life is because of my dependence on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit in my daily walk.

He will make your paths straight:  In other words, He will remove the obstacles from your path and bring you to your God appointed goal.  As I said before, when we acknowledge Jesus Christ as our Lord, seeking Him through His Word, prayer, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the results are up to Him.  I am not a producer in the Kingdom of God – neither are you.  If you think you are, repent and get over it.  Our job is to be faithful, the results belong to God and the glory is His alone.  Please understand that I am not in any way denying our responsibility to be faithful.  I am just saying that, upon being faithful, we can’t take credit for the results.  Jesus Christ is Lord of the harvest.  We are just those who sow seeds and rejoice when our Savior and Lord is glorified.

In conclusion, when faced with tough decisions, remember to seek the will of God through your salvation in Jesus Christ, prayer, and the sustaining power of the Holy Spirit.  Our scriptural obligation is to seek His wisdom through the Bible and the witness of His Spirit within all believers.  He is responsible for the results.  God is always faithful.  My responsibility is to make sure that I am as well.  There is no guilt, there is no failure, there is no dead-end when we have met our part of the bargain.  We sow the seeds, God handles the results.  He is infinite and we are finite.  God is in control and we are just along for the ride – but what a ride it’s going to be….

Author Bio:
My name is Richard Isaacs and my blog site is titled “Musings of a Narnian Expatriate: One Man’s Journey to Know God in a Foreign Land.” I write and re-post about topics regarding the struggles and joys of being faithful to God in a country that is not our home. If you are a Christian, then you are a citizen of God’s Kingdom, yet you are settled in this world for a while – a world which has values and goals which often don’t match up with God’s desires for his children. I write about what it’s like to live in this land until the day we finally get to go “home.” You can find me on the web at http://expatblog.richardisaacs.net

I know this will seem redundant, it seems I’ve said this before, but writing this has encouraged even me……to be able to trace back and see running almost concurrently to the darkest times and most painful experiences, have been the biggest breakthroughs, the most important lessons and the most miraculous encounters. A good thing to remember, next time you find yourself in the Wilderness.

I have said in several earlier posts, that someday I would share with you “Wreckage.” And, as I was sitting and thinking about how to begin the story of “dream number three,” how to explain what happened immediately before and after, “wreckage” came to mind. Over the span of about 10 days in July, it truly was just that…….wreckage. Banged up, smashed up, totaled cars. Crunched and mangled, fractured plans…………illusions of people, purposes and promises…….shattered and devastated, and any notion that we would be able to stay in our lives, in our home, in our comfort zone, gone. All of it, wrecked in a field and later hauled away, never to return.

As I said, in”The Poets Prophet,” there were 2 events that surpassed all others, in the damage and devastation they inflicted. I also stated, that while our own wounds seem forgettable and dull, it is the wounds we see dispensed to others, that are the far greater torment. So it was in May, and so it was again, in July. But, worse than the pain of your friends, is the pain of your family. And, once again I found myself hurling into the pit. But, this pit, was especially designed for me.
Pits are found all through out scripture, Joseph was in a pit, Daniel was in a pit. The enemy intends them to be the place of our destruction, our devouring or abandonment. But, as we see in the Word and hopefully, in our own lives, we learn these lessons in the pit: We are not alone there, Jesus is with us. He protects us there, He teaches us there, prepares us there and then He helps us leave there. Pits are literally, traps you fall into. You DON’T leave the pit on your own. You have to be helped out and He is our Help.

Pits are not unique to me, or to any of us, we’ve all endured one, and we’ve all set our own traps for others. It’s only worth mentioning, if it was a catalyst, into something greater…….if it was not the end of a story, but the beginning of newer, greater one. It’s not just a writing style or method of mine, that many of my stories begin with the painful, disappointing part first, you see, more often than not, that’s exactly where every great thing Christ works out, in my life, begins. Start there, move through it quickly, perhaps a little slower if there’s something to be learned from it, and then move on, to what He did with it.

And, so we have “Wreckage,” my wreckage. It only took me 9 months to share it.

It’s funny, I remember three years ago, going to a conference in Nashville and R.T Kendall spoke. He has, what I feel, is the best book on forgiveness ever written, Total Forgiveness. He was speaking to a packed room of pastors about the hurt they are holding on to and needing to break free from. At the end, hundreds went down to the altar, broken and tired. Andy and I stayed in our seats, so relieved and grateful we couldn’t relate. And, though at the time I truly couldn’t relate, it really resonated with me. I had no idea that God was equipping me, even then.

I’ve repeated his message on forgiveness more times than I can count. Kendall uses the story of Joseph to dissect what it really means and looks like to forgive someone. I’m giving you the key points, but it’s a lousy substitution for getting the book. GET THE BOOK. To really forgive someone, you must: Never tell how they wronged you, never let them fear you, never let them feel guilty, do not wait for them to repent, protect them, pray for them and bless them. And then, repeat until you get it right. I’m not there yet, but I heard the message, I know it’s God’s Word and I am now accountable for it. And, for that reason, I will tell you the effects of this particular pit, what I learned in the pit, and most importantly how He helped me out, because it was a game-changer and significant to our story………but more than that, would be inappropriate. So, until I better know how to share that in a way that edifies the body, it will remain in pages, unwritten.

Through the summer, I felt like I was doing okay, really. I was able to function in our new normal and though nothing had changed or improved we were finding some kind of routine and stasis, even in chaos. I felt a sense of peace, that I was learning and growing in Gods will and until July, I really believed everything would work out and God would be glorified through restoration.

But, the events of July, left me feeling as though I had made it through months of Wilderness, months groping around in darkness, I was finally starting to see light at the end, a way out …………. and then, THUD! Into the Pit, I fell. I felt like I had survived 90% of the worst, to make it to what seemed like maybe within just weeks or even days, of our exodus, only to lay down in the dirt and give up completely.

I do hope that paints a picture for you, I can still see it in my mind, and this is how I described it even then. Picture it, the Wilderness. You are dropped into it with nothing, no supplies, no sense of direction or time, no idea why or for how long you’ll be there. It takes months, to get over the shock, to start participating in your survival. Even longer, before you actually think you’re getting a handle on this, you’re not just existing there anymore, you’re thriving. You’ve adapted, developed a regimen, now you’re learning, growing, acquiring new skills. And finally, you start to think………not only could you survive here, for however long you needed to, but miraculously, you may actually make it out. I made it that far, nursing not quite healed wounds, but regaining strength, building determination, even a bit proud of myself for not giving up already. And then, blazing towards me, fiery darts from out of nowhere, arrows from the enemy. This final assault, so effective, I truly did decide to just lay down, put my face in the dirt and lay there. I was done assessing, done coping and done fighting. It wasn’t that I was a quitter, I just felt like I understood my reality better now, and the reality was, I had miscalculated. Overcoming, should have never been my goal. Endurance, maybe……survival, patience or grace, might have been attainable goals, but not victory, not triumph. I could see that now, how naive I had been, enduring does not mean winning………..participating or even completing something, does not mean winning. I had it wrong all along. I thought this was a timed contest, that would eventually come to an end, with winners and losers. It wasn’t that at all. This was training, no points given, competing against yourself only, and I had hit the wall. I had peaked short of the finish line, close no doubt, but short. It wasn’t like I gave up for no reason, I had done the best I could, believed as much and as big as I could, but I was spiritually, mortally wounded. And for that reason, decided to get away for a few days, to Dallas. After all, why stay?

I wish I could tell you I had been braver, stronger….that nothing steals my joy or hope. But, the truth is, I went for almost 4 days, Saturday to Tuesday, not speaking to my Lord, not praying, not praising…..I didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want encouragement, I wouldn’t even listen to praise and worship music. I didn’t read my Bible or any of the studies, that had been my constant companions for months. I was too tired, too hurt, and too defeated. I wouldn’t say His name, I wouldn’t cry out anymore. I had asked, pleaded for months and now….. I was done, maybe not done with God, but done struggling, done hoping. But, He was not done with me.

Sometime late Tuesday afternoon, my resolve began to crack, He began softening my heart, speaking to my spirit, in the tiniest, bearable amounts. I’ll have to go back through my journals to see what exactly it was, that began opening the floodgates. But, I remember gradually throughout the day, I wasn’t ready to pray yet, but I would find myself whispering, a time or two…..”Jesus, Jesus.” Then, later, I turned on my music, wouldn’t sing along-heaven forbid- but I was listening. Then, I was listening to sermons, one in particular, from Brady Boyd at New Life in Colorado. Brady Boyd, is the pastor that followed the disgraced Ted Haggard, he is also the pastor that on his 118th day as pastor of New Life, witnessed a gunman opening fire on a Sunday morning, killing two. His message was entitled, “When God Disappoints Us.” It’s an extraordinarily powerful sermon, and as I thought about his words, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me, “It’s a lie, it’s the greatest lie of the enemy.” And it is, Satan wants us to believe that God is a great, big disappointment. He doesn’t want us to focus on everything He has done for us, given us…….the enemy hopes we remember only, the time it didn’t turn out as we’d hoped. Forget creation and Calvary, and meditate on the times God’s answer was anything other than, “Yes.” Remember your suffering, your loss, your own desires, unfulfilled. Satan wants us to live and breathe every expectation that wasn’t met, every “good thing” God has withheld. This is a form of bondage, and it’s one of the enemy’s favorites.

By Tuesday evening, I was broken again, humbled before the Lord. I confessed my sin, my anger, hurt, my wrath towards others, my weakness, my confusion. I began telling Jesus, “Lord, I just don’t understand. I don’t see Your hand, I don’t know where You are, or I would be running towards You. I don’t know what You are doing or what I should be doing. Lord, I have walked by faith and not by sight for months, I need sight now. I need just a glimpse to point me in the right direction. Lord, I’m too tired, too broken to dig it out for myself today.” And, I was…..I really was.

Do you know the fog that comes with “rock bottom?” It is a fatigued, exhausted version of yourself. On one hand, I felt like I was so emotionally and physically tired, that I was only passively participating in my life. But, on the other hand, there is a certain clarity and security that comes with truly believing, it could not possibly get worse. I was in that fog for 4 days and finally Tuesday, felt like my breakthrough was coming. But, no one, was as shocked as I was, at the form my breakthrough would take.

That night, or morning, as it were, July 6th, I had a third dream. The same, as the others, in some ways and yet, vastly different. I was awake, I know I was awake. Like the others, it was incredibly detailed, very definite meanings, it was in color, it was between 2-4 AM, and I felt only peace and calm during and after it. There, the similarities end. Before, my dreams were very brief, in dream 2, there wasn’t even scenery or images. But, this one was packed with information, meaning and content. This one had many other people and settings in it. And again, as soon as it was over, I leaped out of bed and started writing. I still remember every bit of it, but that night I was so overwhelmed, I actually recorded myself saying it aloud, while it was still fresh. By early the next morning, I had repeated it to Andy, to my parents and then parked myself at the computer, researching it. There were several Old Testament references, and though I felt like I understood them, I wanted to be very sure I wasn’t missing some of the context or meaning. It was, at the same time, the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced, and the most clarifying, reassuring and normal thing I’ve ever experienced.

The first dreams, I felt, were for other people, but this one was for me. And, while I understood what I was seeing, understood the important parts that I was supposed to be paying attention to, I didn’t understand what I was supposed to do with it. There was only one specific part, that I knew was for someone else, and I, trying to be good to my commitment, was obedient to share that part with the intended person. It was a message of comfort. After that, I was totally at a loss.

A side note- I am really praying and thinking about how best to present this, and while I believe I understand how, I also know it may seem unfair or frustrating to you, the reader. For that, I apologize. But, most of the third dream was for me and me alone. And, while I have no problem telling you what it was about, I hesitate, because I am still coming to terms with it’s meaning and significance for my life. Oh, I understand what it meant- the images, the symbolism……….. and I believe it, alright. But, I don’t understand what it means for my future, or ministry or how to use it to encourage the body, just yet. I believe only time and the Holy Spirit will help me with this. Someday, I will write a book, it will be called, “The Writing on the Wall,” and perhaps then, all of these unwritten pages will find their place.

I was earnestly seeking wisdom and further understanding, but I wasn’t even sure where to begin. I began calling one or two friends, one or two pastors, I researched a couple people to email, but didn’t feel like any of these doors were supposed to open, so I didn’t pursue them. But, I did begin praying that someone would be put in my path who could offer a unique insight and wisdom for me. I asked several people to join me in praying that God would put a “counselor” in my path, who was objective and removed from my situation. I honestly didn’t think this person would be in Lubbock, after all, if they were, I would already know them. Over the last year, we had developed some close relationships at the seminary, and in some of the churches we had either talked to, in years past, or had friends currently serving in. I felt confirmation in my spirit, that getting away to Dallas, was becoming even more important.

Mom and I had already decided, that weekend, we were hitting the road, a decision made immediately upon entering the Pit……………. but unbeknown to us, this would become a decision, paramount to our departure of not only the Pit, but the Wilderness.

So, here is our time-line thus far- Devastation of the Pit, Saturday. Pit dwelling, Saturday-Tuesday. Dream 3, Wednesday. Friday- Mom’s birthday (we’ll visit that in a minute.) Saturday, leave for Dallas, Saturday……wreckage.

Mom’s birthday……..with the exception of a small group of friends, no one had any idea what had happened that week. But, those that did, had been reeling right along with us, for the better part of a week. We had pretty much been in seclusion, easy to do with 4th of July earlier in the week, until Friday, when Andy would be playing a gig. Andy attracts talent, amazing talent, but even more than that, he attracts amazing people, Godly, courageous, steadfast, burden bearing people. It’s just gravy that they are musical phenoms. Getting to spend time with these good folks and their good folks, was always enjoyable. So off we went.

Totally a normal night, all my favorites there. I only share this because of a few key conversations. The first, was with my dearest “Smiths.” We were talking about the fact that mom and I would be leaving town the next morning. Mother Smith asked if I was taking the babies………and strangely I was not. I remember so distinctly, telling her that it had been a very difficult week and that for the first time, in their lives, I was leaving them at home. I’m a stay at home mom……if I go, babies go. Always have. Especially, with mom going with me……..any other time, without exception, we would have taken the babies. You see, mom and I had made this same plan at least 5 times that year……”We’re just gonna get away, just us, no kids, and decompress.” And every time, schedules, life……guilt…….got in the way, and the few times we actually went anywhere, babies went. I told Mother Smith, that for some reason, I had such a peace about mom and I going alone. Even though it was inconvenient, as Andy was leaving in the morning for a youth camp. I knew in my spirit, this was a trip I needed to be on and I needed to be on it with my mom, and only my mom.

It was almost 10pm when we left Andy’s gig and I took the babies home while he loaded up. For some reason, I felt so impressed to just enjoy how sweet and precious they were being. Usually, late nights spell blithering heaps of stickiness and yelping, but tonight being worn out had made them melt into goo of a different sort. They were simple and silly, giving kisses and hugs to me and each other, we sang and read and snugged. I just didn’t want it to end and when Andy came home after 11 we were still snugged in. Daddy normally tucks in kiddos, but tonight I wanted to. I made sure to kiss each of their faces at least five more times.
That night as I lay thinking about the week, the dear friends we were surrounded with and how God had blessed me with such a precious family……I began to pray over all of it, the more I prayed, the more I felt like I needed to pray and soon it became fear. “What if something happened? What if this wasn’t the worst that it could be?” In the last year, we had seen so many heartbreaking losses of children, spouses and families. I felt burdened to pray over everyone, but wasn’t sure why, I was trying to pinpoint why my spirit was so troubled and when I couldn’t, began to really be consumed with fear. I couldn’t let it go. I got back up and went to the kids rooms and began pleading the blood of Jesus over them, praying specifically for health, safety and their salvation. I then went to Andy, and again, began pleading the blood of Jesus over him, over his travels, his protection and safety. I went to bed feeling only somewhat at peace. Watchman Nee, in his book, Let Us Pray, talks about when you have a burden to pray for something, continue to be mindful of whether or not you feel released of that burden after prayer…….if you don’t, persist in prayer, God intends to breakthrough something and wants you to be a part of it. I felt like I still had a burden and continued to pray on and off through the night.

We were leaving very early the next morning, so by 5, I was wide awake. As soon as I put my feet down, smack…..burdened again. I repeated my ritual, but this time I felt like I needed to pray for my own travels, I hadn’t the night before. When mom and I met up, I told her about my restless night and we prayed together, for our safety, for our trip to be fruitful and relaxing. And then, off we went.
That morning in the car, the conversation was different. It was free of anger, free of sadness or hopelessness. It seemed like since the dream, God had been speaking something different to us, to all of us. In the last couple of days, I know I had begun to feel like I had missed the mark somewhat. This was becoming less about the actions of another person and more about what God was intending for each of us, completely separate from our situation. The dream was a powerful thing for me, and it made me think “Wait a minute, are you talking to me Lord? Are you trying to wake me up to something or teach me something that is entirely independent of this situation?” I felt like the answer was, Yes. Definitely, Yes!

Mom and I had been on the road for 2 hours, having this exact conversation. There was no music, no phones, no sermons or texting. Just us, on the road talking. We had both become keenly aware, that God was doing something here, we didn’t know what exactly, but it was much bigger than we had imagined. It was the beginning of letting go of our situation, and embracing that everything that had been consuming us, was becoming secondary to a much greater thing. We had stopped and switched drivers and now I was driving. Which is a good thing and a God thing.
You see, I have been in a horrible car wreck before, years and years ago. But, it made me one of the few drivers I really trust. I always prefer to drive, or sit in front making sure the driver’s awake and alert. I don’t want to be in a car wreck, ever again.
As we continued on, mom and I were having this exact conversation: Everything in the last 6 months had shown us what we lack as believers and what we, had desperately, hoped to see in our situation. And while it was disappointing, it was also clarifying to identify those things, so now we can pursue them. We had seen a lack of discernment, a lack of prayer, a lack of humility, a lack of courage, a lack of wisdom and a lack of accountability for months. Summed up- a lack of the Holy Spirit. In its earliest form, we saw roots become a stronghold. We saw up close and personal, how spiritual attack, pride and idolatry can take hold and destroy everything around it. And, even as believers, we were ill equipped to do anything about it. As Baptists, we were not trained in the art of War, which is not to say we weren’t trying, we were relentless in our prayer, but we weren’t using the weapons in our arsenal, we didn’t know how. We thought fighting our own flesh, was offense enough. It was not. I thought as long a I could be proud of my conduct and choices, that was the only defense I needed. I was wrong. Nothing is won with defense alone. We were fighting oppression, darkness and principalities………and we were losing. God has given us weapons of righteousness, weapons of war……He has given us not just divine armor for our defense, but weapons for attack, weapons that free captives and break chains.
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 15and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evilone. 17And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:10-17

He has given us His Word, His Name and His Blood, which nothing can stand against. And that was the conversation we were having. I said “Mom, I feel like no matter what happens here, God has put a passion in us to pursue these things, to teach and equip others. If you just started with those three things, His Name, Blood and Word, and were diligent to teach them and master them…….we would be changing the world, changing churches and lives. There is a life that is powerful, that is bold and prays with authority, that we don’t have and we need. We can never go back, we can never forget this.”

I’ve shared a lot about my dad before, but my mom also has had a significant impact on my walk and faith. My mom has the gift of encouragement and as soon as this season began, she went immediately to the Word. Even though, she was fighting her own darkness and discouragement, she was faithful to return to God’s word. Mom is a voracious reader, studier and pray-er and offered tremendous wisdom and counsel to all of us this year. Mom was seeing things and understanding things about what God was doing, long before I grasped it, long before most of us grasped it. She was sharing her journey and discovery of the same things and some of the preachers and books she had been reading lately, all pointing in the same direction.

I was just listening and driving, eyes forward and I must have been lost in thought and started to drift a little in my lane, nothing major, should have been easy to correct. Mom, not alarmed, just making sure I was paying attention, said “Sara!” And, that was it. I have no idea how the rest happened, it should have never happened. I should have been able to straighten up without any effort or disruption, but instead we were spinning out of control.

We were on I20, outside of Sweetwater, spinning out of control, on a Saturday morning. I don’t know how many of you have ever been in a car that is spinning, but it goes slower than you think. In the car, things were standing, almost still. I had been in this place before, I was so intent on trying to remember how to turn into it and regain control, I know for sure I didn’t take my foot off the gas pedal. I was a little embarrassed, honestly. I remember the first car wreck I was in, I was the passenger in my friend’s car and I was looking at her as we spun, thinking how silly this was……..why didn’t she just stop spinning?! And now, I was in the driver’s seat, feeling foolish and very sorry that I couldn’t seem to do just that…..stop spinning.

Mom and I were very aware that there were steep bar ditches on either side, train tracks on one side and oncoming traffic on the other. We knew we weren’t stopping and we knew we were headed for the ditch, on the track side. I just knew we were going to flip, I could see it in my mind……we were going so fast, it seemed inevitable that we were about to flip, either into another car, into the ditch, or onto the tracks. We were careening sideways towards the tracks and I could see them coming towards us through my moms window. I really felt so certain we were about to die, there were no thoughts of family or faces, no sentimental memories. Just the stark realization of what was only seconds away. I knew I couldn’t fix this and I knew I needed help.

I began just shouting, screaming as loudly as I could………..”JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!” That was it, just His name, no pleas or other words, just the Name of Jesus. And, in an instant our car lifted up and still spinning, was hurled into a field, over the bar ditch, over the train tracks and into a plowed dirt field, at least 50 feet the other side of the tracks. We came crashing down so hard, the doors flew open, the trunk flew open, air bags deployed and the front wheels were almost bent in on themselves. The field around us was scattered with everything that had once been in the car, except us.
We sat there a few minutes just stunned, checking to see if were alright. We got out of the car and saw immediately the people running towards us from the highway, stop in their tracks and just stare at us. We stood there all looking at each other in disbelief. One of the men, Steve Sides, from Abilene, snapped out of it and started running towards us again. He ran right up to me and said “I can’t believe you just got out of that car, we just knew y’all were gone!” My mom and I started weeping and telling the group that had gathered around us what had just happened inside the car, how we had called on the Name of the Lord and how He had indeed, saved us. One of the men, a former highway trooper, said it was like the Dukes of Hazard, he told us how he had told his wife not to look and that we were about to be flipped or thrown from the car. He said right as his wife put her head in her hands, it was like our car was just “picked up, carried over the tracks and dropped, right into a field.” We stood there with a group of strangers, crying and praising God. We knew and they knew, that this was a miracle.
As I stood there, watching these kind people gather up our belongings and sort through what was salvageable, I was overcome looking at all of the debris, scattered on the road and field ………..understanding perfectly, why the babies had not come with us. I stood there next to my mom with my arms raised towards God, thanking and praising Him, that I wasn’t looking at my baby’s toys, sippy cups, car seats, blankets or tiny bodies strewn around us. The inside of the car was like a box that had just been picked up and shaken. Things that had been in the floor board were stuck into the interior lining on the roof. Zipped and locked bags, were fully open and their contents scattered over many yards. The top of the car and the hood were crunched into fine creases, everything was covered in dirt and splashed coffee. It smelled like hot metal and burning rubber and plastic. We were covered in the powder from the airbags, but neither our skin nor eyes burned (they never did.)

We stood in the field as all of this washed over us, trying to figure out what to do. Someone had already called 911 and was trying to tell them where we were. Mom and I shared our testimony of what had just happened with every curious person that stopped, the original group of helpers, the police, state troopers, wrecker service and anyone else that would listen. One of the troopers kept trying to get a report of what happened, he listened to mom a little, then came and asked me a few questions, a tad irritated he went to Mr. Sides, ” Can you tell me where they flipped? They remember most everything that happened, but can’t seem to tell me where they flipped. ” I remember Mr. Sides telling the officer, that it was a miracle, but we had never flipped, we left the ground alright, but didn’t flip. He then began telling us through tears how he had been at a wedding in Lubbock the night before and for some crazy reason, left his wife and kids asleep at their hotel and came on, towards home. He told us that his wife, was a little angry that he was so insistent on coming home a day early and without them, for no other reason than to mow the yard. He laughed, because he wasn’t really sure why he wanted to leave either, but he did. He began sobbing and telling us that he had a rough year and that more than anything else in the world, he needed to see God be big and know that God was in control. And He had sure shown us that, hadn’t He!

Everything we had been praying for, begging for, for months and months, was given to us on the side of the road, in a dirt field, surrounded by strangers. In an instant, God answered every prayer, every question and cry. And, every answer was YES. Our relentless prayer had been, “Are you there, God?! Do you see me? Do you care? Will you ever intervene?! Can you save us, can you fix this? Can you still move mountains?! Is there a purpose to all of this?? Are you big enough for this?!” We found out that day, that in Christ, everything is YES! He showed us that He was right there with us, hearing every word, seeing every out of control minute. He showed us that His intervention is neither too soon, or too late. He showed us that He was our Protector and that He is fierce and mighty. He showed us that there is power in the Name of Jesus!

We had been consumed for months, in the most excruciating stress, anxiety and despair. Even our bodies were showing the signs of this long-term battle, all of us, in some form or another, was suffering through insomnia, ulcers, depression, weight gain, weight loss, hair loss, muscle tension…………our bodies ached , our hearts ached, for months………..and suddenly, I found myself in that field, totally worry free. I wasn’t even worried about my parents car, that I had just totaled…….let’s not forget that! I knew from that point on, that everything was going to be alright. Even if I didn’t understand, I was completely at rest in my Father’s care.

We called Andy and we called Dad. While Dad was on the phone with us, he began praying over us and reading scripture over us and then he texted that passage to me………It will be important again soon.
Psalm 116
1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me! ”
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.
We weren’t really sure what to do next, but the car was done, tied up on a truck and driven away. Mr. Sides gave us a ride into Sweetwater and we waited there for my dad to come get us. We stopped at a gas station and explained what had happened. They were so nice to us, they helped us unload the former contents of our car, into a back dining room and then closed it off, so we were the only two in there. It was just mom and I sitting across from each other at a long table, surrounded by empty chairs and we began to sob. We cried for a pretty good while, the waitresses-mistaking our tears for sorrow, would come by occasionally bringing ice water or wet towels, and just quietly pat us on the shoulder. When we were finally able to pull it together, Mom said, “Well, I’m not crying because I’m sad, are you?!” No, I replied. But, you go first. “This was a miracle, it was just for us, just exactly what God had been trying to show us. He is an ON-TIME God! Everything is going to be fine.” We talked about it for a while and then we talked about what we should do when Dad finally got there. Do we go to Dallas or go home? Honestly, we could have done either and either would have been fine. But, the reason and motivation behind our road trip had changed entirely. We may go to Dallas, but we’re not escaping or running anymore. We may go back home, but it wouldn’t be to worry or try to figure out what would happen next. We could finally be content, wherever, with whomever, doing whatever. I began writing everything down in my journal while we talked it over.

Strangely, we decided “what the heck!” might as well go on with our plans. The kids were already squared away, reservations were already made…………and actually, this was the first trip we took to relax, that just might serve it’s intended purpose. People were worried about getting us checked out, but mom and I both knew, we didn’t then and wouldn’t be feeling pain. And, we didn’t. Not a back twinge, whiplash, broken nail, we weren’t burned, no broken ankles, nothing……not ever.

We ended up sitting there for a couple hours, even had a coke and a bit to eat. I saw dad pull in to the truck stop, so we got up to meet him. As he rounded the corner, I could tell his face was red and he had been crying. It seems he’d had his own moment on the drive. He finally spoke, “I saw where you went off the road……..and I don’t know how you didn’t hit the train.” WHAT TRAIN?! I didn’t remember seeing a train at all. But, dad did. About 200 yards passed where we flew into the field, there sits about 40 old rail cars on the tracks. They’ve been there since I can remember, they never move. If we had spun 3 more times maybe, or stayed on the road another 30 seconds, we absolutely would have smashed right into the side of a train. Even though Dad hadn’t been in the car with us, God showed him the same things He showed us. HE IS IN CONTROL.

Dad and our good friend, Dean, brought us an extra car and didn’t even bat an eye when we told them we were headed to Dallas. This time, Mom drove. We had a much different conversation that half of the highway. I felt even more compelled to find answers, to figure out what the Lord was showing me. So, I called a few of my close friends and began relating what had happened that day. One of those phone calls, was to Autumn, I asked her if she knew of anyone that would have wisdom and direction for me…………and just like God, she did.

That night, from our hotel, I emailed Terese Holloway for the first time ever.

If you are reading my blog and want to put this in context chronologically, this weekend was 2 weekends before “In My Father’s House.” “Wreckage” and everything that came after showed me a lot, but a few things in particular. It showed me there was simply no need to worry about anything, anymore. It showed me that God is in fact, very much in control. And, it showed me that we would be leaving Lubbock.

I’ll spend more time on this in the next post, but God had a plan for us, even after we got to Dallas, and how we spent our time there, changed everything. And, on the drive home, past that same stretch of highway, was the first time God spoke to my heart, that we would not be staying. I had honestly never even considered it before.

Shalom Y’all

About the Author:
My name is Sara Johnson, I am a stay at home mom and the wife of a worship pastor in Texas. I started sharing through Notes From The Cleft last year as a way to communicate with our church and ministry partners, how gracious and faithful God has been to our family over the years. I love being in ministry and I love teaching God’s word and helping others apply it their own lives. This posting is from the middle of a series that began in January. You can find me on the web at http://notesfromthecleft.blogspot.com

Here are my eleven reasons, there could be more…

1. Indifference
When couples do not care about the state of their marriage, they believe that one day things will get better; they agree with the world that their marriage must get worse before it gets better. I dare say it does not have to be so.
If couples make up their minds to care about and tend marriage, there would be very minimum stress and growing love.
Care about your marriage, care to note when it is not doing well and do something about it.

2. Poor/zero Communication
This is a major, major. When couples do not talk to each other, talk with each other and listen to each other, they are building a gap between their hearts and this is very dangerous. It creates a major disconnect and soon they may find “other people” to communicate with.

Do not get tired of listening or talking to/with each other. I do not mean nagging, I mean talking… please.
Talk about everything and anything especially things that concern your marriage and each other.

3. Un-forgiveness
Some spouses will not, forgive, let go, stop recounting offences and expecting a repeat. This is like cancer; it can keep growing if unchecked, and will cause spouses to loathe each other eventually. This causes withdrawals and gaps and can lead to very bad situations. It is not healthy at all; you cannot love in the real sense of the word with grudges in your heart.

My husband always counsels that people learn to have forgiveness in abundance and give it out, even on credit. Treat your spouse like you would your three or four year old, you would not begrudge him or her. Always believing that he/she didn’t mean to hurt you will help you forgive all the time. True love forgives.

And note that when you forgive, it is for your own good. Medical experts have said that un-forgiveness is a deadly emotion as it releases harmful toxins in the body causing ill health.

4. Insensitivity
Ignoring your spouse’s feelings, thoughts and needs will send messages of “rejected”, “not-wanted or accepted” to the other spouse.

Ask questions likes, “Are you okay, you don’t look happy?” genuinely.
Look to see how you can offer help to your spouse, don’t always wait or want to be asked.
Avoid doing these things your spouse has told you he/she does not enjoy. Look for ways to show your spouse that you care.

5. Over-Sensitivity
If a spouse is sensitive to everything (wrong) he/her spouse does, it leads to discontent and also builds a wall. You leave the other person feeling he/she is no good and unlovable. Relax and enjoy your spouse, love is not real if it is conditional, if it loves only the perfect or in the perfect conditions.

6. Unchecked “Strangers”
It is very unhealthy to allow closeness with someone to the point where your emotions take the better part of you and your marriage is threatened. When you find yourself sexually drawn to someone other than your wife or husband, then it is time to check. No matter who you are, or who this person is, you tread on very slippery ground if you continue. When you continually lust after someone, it is a sign that you need to go and work on your relationship with your spouse.
Do not allow yourself lust after someone else. Cut off immediately, no sympathies please. When it comes to relationships, make yourself accountable to your spouse.

7. Secrets
It is a dangerous thing to keep things from your spouse because when discovered, no matter how long it takes it will eventually be discovered and when discovered, trust is broken and once broken it becomes very difficult to build back.
Be open to your spouse; tell your spouse everything you do or happens to you, before you “Huh?” let me say you must be wise in the how and the when.

8. Distrust
Whatever it takes, do everything not to break trust with your spouse. It is the root of many problems in marriages.

9. Unresolved Conflicts
When issues care not thoroughly resolved, it builds a thick wall between husbands and wives, it is invisible at first but if left alone can grow to be smelled and felt. Ensure that every issue is resolved and make sure you let it go. Also confirm that your spouse has too.

10. Visions Apart
Doing too many things apart is not good at all. Hanging out with the boys or tea partying too often with the girls to the detriment of your marital relationship is not wise at all. And it also hinders the closeness that should be between spouses.

Do more hanging out with each other, when you spend quality time having quality conversation often with each other, you may not know it, but a bond is being built.

11. Disconnection From The Source
When a tree is disconnected from the soil, it may take a while, but it will eventually wither and die. So it is with marriage, if any couple is disconnected from the source, the marriage is standing on quick sand, things may look good but the couple themselves will know that they are not fulfilled in the relationship.

If you and your spouse will connect with the Author of marriage, the GOD who joined the first man and woman, and follow after him, then you will never have growing apart as an issue, even if it does surface you will know how to handle it, and in time too.

What Who is the source? The Creator of heaven and earth, The Creator of marriage. Genesis 2:18 Any marriage rooted in Jehovah, the Almighty GOD, stands a great chance to succeed, if His rules are applied, then it has a hundred percentage chances to succeed. God is love and when rooted in Him, love cannot be thrust out of any relationship.

If you take care of everything listed above but remain unconnected with GOD, your bliss will only be short lived and you will go back to struggling. But if you get connected with God and deal with the issues, His grace will help you stand strong in your marriage.

So there they are: these listed notes are proven to affect any marriage, every answer to marital conflicts is in God. Get connected with God now.

Say this prayer:
Dear God, I know I am a sinner; I do not want to be a sinner anymore. I want you to be my Father, please forgive my sins, I believe that Jesus was born and was crucified to save me. Jesus I ask you into my heart, be my Lord and Saviour. Help me to live righteous and to be your true disciple, I want to get connected to You and spend eternity with You. Father I ask all of this in Jesus name, amen.

About the Author:
I am a child of God and I love Him.  My sole desire is to please Him in all that I do, all the time. I work towards showing Him to others by my thoughts, words and actions. I am compassionate, my heart bleeds for suffering people.  I try to do something about them in little but meaningful ways.  I get a huge kick out of helping people. I am a minister of God and co-pastor the Church in Salem Lagos with my husband. I am married to one husband. God’s man-Benson Jolomi, he is a true christian and I love him.  I also have three other God’s men in my life,my sons: Joshua, Joseph, and Josiah.  They keep me up and about.  You can find me on the web at http://www.ugochi-jolomi.com

As a son of God, I have two main purposes in life – reflect the Lord’s glory, and be transformed into his likeness. I’m like a mirror… sadly, an imperfect mirror. But I’m always striving to be able to reflect God better, by getting rid of the sin and imperfection in my life that gets in the way of God’s reflection. Reflecting God (which includes witnessing and missions) and becoming more like God are my two main jobs, which I can only accomplish through God and with his grace and power working in my life.

But I always forget. I’m always am putting myself first, both consciously, when I blatantly sin, and unconsciously, when I pretend to be doing things for God but my motives are more self-centred. Of course, I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13, my baptism verse), but I also cannot “bear good fruit” without Him (John 15:4). This reminds me of a great quote: “Don’t try harder, trust God more!” I usually just try harder and try harder, and then get frustrated at myself when I don’t achieve all my goals and don’t live up to all my expectations. From now on I’ll try to just trust God and let Him transform me, because I know I can’t transform myself.

Humility is really important – that’s something I often forget. It’s important because without humility I won’t be able to reflect God well, and without God I am nothing. I know that, but often live like it’s not true – I often live like I’m number one, not God. Humbleness is not my strong point, but while I merely try to reflect God and become more like Him, hopefully I will improve in my personal humility.

About the Author:
I blog under the pseudonym “Toblerone”, and enjoy writing about many topics, including Christianity, Canadian politics, music, and just life in general Please check out my blog: www.toblerone-sk8erboy.blogspot.com and if you like what you see, please like my facebook page: www.facebook.com/sk8erboyblog or follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/TobSk8erBoy

But as I’ve settled into the sufficiently full life of mothering two, I’ve tabled the notion of three. I’m almost 38. My ailing thyroid takes a pounding with each pregnancy. And I’m eager to get back to my freelancing career.

Still, the idea of permanently altering my husband’s body (or my own) doesn’t feel right. An alternative such as an IUD is better for now. In that spirit, I recently set the wheels in motion, which also meant changing OB-GYNs. The nursing and administrative staff at the office that delivered Syma are nightmarish. Despite the excellent medicine the doctors practice, I’m bidding them farewell. I found a new doctor, and had a long conversation with one of her nurses. She asked me how many pregnancies I’ve had: Noah, Syma and the one I lost, between them, I explained. I didn’t know the gender.

Why not? The baby died fully intact, and the Mayo Clinic performed a lengthy DNA analysis to determine cause of death. Surely the test results included gender. I requested the information when I called to transfer my medical records. A few hours later, as I was flanked by both of my babes and knee-deep in grocery-store bliss, my old doctor’s head nurse called. She said the baby I lost was a girl.

There, in middle of the olive and artichoke aisle, a swirl of joy and sorrow surrounded me. Conflicting emotions perform a particularly odd dance when it comes to motherhood. It’s a familiar dance to me, but I don’t much like it.

I’m thrilled to have two daughters. News of another girl in my lineage is a feather in my maternal cap. That’s largely because my mom is gone. Any added girl power is golden, and now I could name the baby. To my other children, when they’re old enough to understand. In their baby books. And to anyone that asks. Referring to my blood as “it” is uncomfortable at best.

Within minutes of the news, I messaged my husband. We had to name her. He offered a first name: Lena. I’m not sure where he found it, but it’s perfect. Lena is a Greek word that means “the bright one.” We selected my mom’s first name, Karen, for her middle name. Another Greek word, for “pure.”

Still, closure eludes me. Naming Lena softens the blow of the loss, and somehow makes her more complete. As Madeleine L’Engle writes in her book, Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art:

God asked Adam to name all the animals, which was asking Adam to help in the creation of their wholeness. When we name each other, we are sharing in the joy and privilege of incarnation …

Fixing Lena’s middle name after my mom also helps. I imagine her and my mom together, well-acquainted now. Perhaps that’s not quite how it works in heaven. But thinking of it that way makes me feel better.

I still think of Lena, of all I don’t know about her, and my heart burns. What was I doing the moment the life left her little body? Mostly I’m amazed at how I can love someone I never touched or saw in person. And I’m grateful for her short life.

As Hope Edelman says in the closing lines of her book, Motherless Daughters:

Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay.

Lena was with me for only 11 weeks. But her spirit will be with me always–my pure, bright one. My Lena Karen.

About the Author:
Kristina Cowan was born a writer. Most toddlers play with toys in the bath, but Kristina composed stories. Historical fiction, for example, about how pilgrims in the New World celebrated the first Thanksgiving. Most five-year-olds check out library books from the children’s section. Kristina wandered upstairs, and took home a tome on Prosimian biology. She delighted in the challenge of learning about the unknown, and then explaining her findings to others. She was lucky enough to attend Northwestern University–twice–where she received professional speaking and writing credentials. Journalism degree in hand, she chased stories in Washington, D.C. For nearly eight years she worked as a full-time reporter and editor, first covering education issues, and later, energy policy on Capitol Hill. Kristina’s workaholic nature allowed her to feel at home in the Beltway’s frenzied corridors. But along came a chance to strike out as a full-time freelance journalist, and she seized it. Five years later, she’s never looked back. Her latest projects include writing about motherhood and women’s issues, and launching one of the first Christian writers groups in the Chicago area, Word Weavers Naperville. She currently resides in Chicagoland with her handsome husband Matt, her impish-and-ebullient son Noah, and her doll-faced daughter, Syma. You can find her on the web at http://www.kristinacowan.com

I am sure we all have!

Knowing our position in Christ can and will put an end to all these feelings. You see God wants us to move away from a place of feelings and start proclaiming fundamental truths about who we are!

These truths really came to life for me when a good friend let me listen to How the Truth Can Set You Free by Charles Stanley. I felt like he was describing me when he spoke on inferiority and insecurity. The truth is knowing our position in Christ will eliminate all these and more!

I wrote about this a while back in A Look At Who We Are In Christ Jesus.

If you are like me and are hungry for the freedom of who we are in Christ then pay attention and start claiming these fundamental truths for yourself!

1. We are a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:5-17 tells us that anyone who receives or believes in Christ’s new life also becomes a new person. In other words if you can believe that Christ died and rose form the grave in 3 days into a new body then one day you as well will receive a new body.

We are dead to the old life and a new one has begun!

(stay tuned for a post solely on our new bodies)

Also in John 1:13 we are told that we are reborn with a birth that comes from God!

We no longer have to live that lie that we are not good enough, smart enough, or that we will never make it! We are made by God for God and equipped to do everything he has planned for us to do! We need to let our fears and failures fall to to the waste side.

2. We are made righteous. In Romans 3:24 we see that through God’s undeserved kindness, we are declared holy.

Ok, great what does that mean?

Simply put we are made right with God by our position in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says that God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the sin offering so that we would be right with God!

• Our sin is removed. In Colossians 1:21-22 Paul informs us that we are holy and blameless as we stand before God with out a single fault. Do you see the impact? We can freely come to the Father with no insecurities, doubts, worries and be blameless in his eyes.

Colossians 2:13-15 shows us the impact of the cross. We were dead because of sin (wages of sin is death), but God made us alive with Christ and forgave us of our sins. He nailed the charges to the cross.

• We are made holy by the sacrifice of Jesus; Hebrews 10:10. Claim that right now for yourself.

“My position is one of holiness in Christ Jesus!”

3. We are redeemed by grace. Redeemed means to buy back or repurchase. We see in Romans 6:23 that the wages of sin is death. The only thing that will cancel out sin is bloodshed.

If we go back to the fall in Genesis we see that God clothed Adam and Eve in animal skins. Where did the skins come from? The first sacrifice. We see that Adam and eve committed the first sin and God himself initiated the first sacrifice.

God made the first sacrifice in order For Adam and Eve to be before him again without shame. (be looking forward to a post on Adam, Eve, and the fall soon)

So when we read Ephesians 1:7 we begin to see God’s kindness and grace because he purchased our freedom with the blood of Christ.

Peter tells us in 1 Peter 1:18-20 God paid a ransom to save our life from the sinful life we inherited from Adam. God chose Christ as the ransom before the world began. Knowing this we should receive his love with our heads held high!

4. We are reconciled by Grace. Reconciled, simply put, means to restore harmony between two people.

In Genesis 3:8-11 we see first hand how sin broke this harmony. Due to sin Adam and Eve were ashamed and scared to be before God. It is this same problem that has plagued mankind ever since.

Let’s take a look at what it means for you and me!

a. Paul tells us in Romans 5:10-11 that our Lord Jesus Christ has reconciled us and made us friends of God. Now, in Christ Jesus, we are accepted by God.

b. In Ephesians 2:6 Paul tells us that we are raised with Christ from the dead and seated with God in the heavenly realms. We are now eternally secure in Christ Jesus

c. We are adopted as God’s own children; Romans 3:15

What does that look like you may ask?

• Galatians 3:26 shows us that in this reconciliation we are children of God.
• Ephesians 2:19 tells us we are members of God’s family,no longer strangers or foreigners.
• We have been transformed out of the kingdom of darkness into God’s kingdom Colossians 1:13

d. We have eternal life that starts now. Christ tells us first hand that those who believe in him have eternal life. They have already passed from death to life, John 5:24-25

If we go back to Ephesians 2:6 we see that we were raised with Christ from the dead. This eternal life starts at the time we believe.

e. We are citizens of heaven, Philippians 3:20

Paul lays it out for us in Titus 3:4-7:

” But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

If you want a more in depth look at who you are in Christ check out more of
Charles Stanley’s work. Stayed tuned for next week we will take a look at our Person in Christ.

Can you honestly say you know your position in Christ?

About the Author:
My name is Britt McCrimmon and I am the writer and creator of http://saltformation.com/. The Salt Formation Blog is totally inspired by our Lord Jesus Christ and is used as a tool to spread his message. God bless and i hope you enjoy!

This is a really important question because the answer should determine the approach we take to dealing with depression. And the truth is, the approach most people choose is not leading and will not ultimately lead to the emotional condition they hope for. Many of the depression strategies promoted today claim to lead away from depression, and that is good, for what it’s worth. But just as important as what they lead from is what they lead to, and that is the problem.

If your house is on fire, it is not enough to run from the fire. You should also be running to the exit.

Most approaches for dealing with depression revolve around one of three strategies:

• Denial
• Distraction
• Doping

The strategy of denial would involve things like positive thinking exercises where by focus and repetition a person tricks himself into thinking he is not depressed. The strategy of distraction is the subject of many depression books. There are a thousand suggestions from changing the level of lighting in your home and workplace to engaging in more social activities to finding a hobby. The goal of these strategies is to distract a person from his or her melancholy. Doping is the most common strategy people employ today. Doping consists of using drugs to numb the pain of depression. Like taking strong pain medicines to treat a back ache, there are drugs that can mediate the most painful aspects of depression.

Is there value in these three approaches? Yes and no. It depends on the outcome a person wants. It depends on your answer to the question, “What is the opposite of depression?”

If a person’s desire is simply to flee from depression, then there is some merit to each of the strategies mentioned above. But if a person has a desire for something more than getting a couple steps removed from depression, then denial, distraction, and doping are not the ultimate answer.

In the Bible, the opposite of depression is JOY. Joy is the emotional state of peace and contentment that is not dependent on a person’s present circumstances. A person with real joy has joy even when life is difficult. Joy is the gold standard of the emotional condition every person desires.

There is a difference between running from depression and running toward joy. The strategies of denial, distraction, and doping may help a person get temporarily free from depression, but none of those strategies alone leads to the destination of joy.

What should a depressed person do? Is it a bad idea to use the popular strategies mentioned above?

I do not believe there is any harm in a responsible use of any strategy that brings temporary relief as long as it does not substitute for the ultimate pursuit of joy. If I have an abscess in one of my teeth, there is nothing wrong with using medicine to numb the pain and soothing music to distract my thoughts as long as I am also going to the dentist to get appropriate treatment to take care of the underlying problem.

So what is the path to joy?

The answer to that question is a little longer than can be covered in one short blog post, that is why I have written the book, Illuminating The Darkness: A Fresh and Effective Solution to Depression, Stress, and Anxiety. However, the answer is not so complicated as one might think.

Jesus once gave some profound instructions to his followers and concluded his thoughts by saying this: “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11). We can learn a few things from his concluding remark. First, we learn that what immediately precedes John 15:11 has been given as the pathway to joy. Second, we learn that the joy of Christ can be in each of us! Third, we learn that through these simple instructions that our joy can be full. Full means it cannot be increased. It is at its maximum level.

So what does all of this add up to? If you simply want to escape from depression and hide in the woods of uncertainty, then denial, distraction, and doping may be your ticket, but if you want to run to the place of maximum joy, then today needs to be the first day in you becoming a student of what Jesus said in John 15:1-11.

About the Author:
Noel Dear is the senior pastor of the First Baptist Church of Heath, Ohio. He and his wife, Donna, have been married 16 years. They have three daughters, one of whom they recently adopted from China. Noel enjoys encouraging people in their walk with the Lord through writing. His blog can be found at www.AbideWithHim.com and his new book, Illuminating the Darkness, can be found at local bookstores or Amazon.com.