My oldest son was in 5^th grade and needed a 20 oz. Coke bottle for a science project at school. I pulled in to the gas station only to find that I didn’t have any money. I began desperately searching the car, hopeful to find some loose change under the seats. Not today. Had my life really come to this? I sat in the car and cried for what seemed like hours. I finally mustered up the courage to go into the store to ask for a Coke on credit with a promise to come back and pay for it the following week.

Clinging to God

As a single mom I had become well acquainted with life on the edge; having to trust God for everything. My middle class life had been hurled into poverty overnight and now there was nothing else to do but trust.

Just a few years prior, I had found myself living in a motor home in my dad’s back yard, homeless with nowhere else to turn. I left my short, turbulent marriage in the middle of the night with the clothes on my back, two children at each side and one on the way. I had nothing else to hang on to but God.

You see, what I have come to discover is that struggles are just a part of life. They can’t be avoided. What we can do, however, is learn to respond to these struggles differently. Respond to them from a place of trust and not from a place where the circumstances control how we ract.

The cashier at the gas station saw my distress that day and offered to buy the coke for me. I was humiliated and horrified. I went back to the car, cried some more and prayed: “God, why? If I could just get child support everything would be okay.” God very clearly reminded me that my ex-husband was not my provider. I knew that God’s word said that He would supply all of my needs but I wanted Him to supply them without humiliating me. I had allowed pride to stop me from seeing His provision.

God always provides

You see, God wanted to teach me that He would supply all of my needs. Not just some of them but all of them! And He would provide for me in a way that would break down anything that hindered my walk with Him.

He was much more concerned that day about my character than He was about that Coke. That day, from His glorious riches he refined a little bit of my character and I was that much closer to becoming more like Him.

It wasn’t an easy lesson and it was extremely painful, but I am a much better off today because of it.

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear… For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” —Matthew 6:31–34

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What pieces of Scripture do you lean on in times of trouble?

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Read more on God’s faithfulness in times of trial:

• Trusting God: A Life Without Worry
  
• Trusting God When Times Are Tough
• Unshakable: Trusting God When All Else Fails

Of course, I wanted Sherry to mentor me, and so I was upset that Emily got first dibs. At the same time, I didn’t want to admit my need for a mentor. In my early twenties, I was all about proving myself capable–to my family, to my husband, and within the Christian community God had planted us in. I simply couldn’t ask for help. I didn’t understand the gift of mentoring or the way an older generation could bless the next.

Accepting the need for a mentor

It took another ten years before I could admit to the need of having Titus 2 women in my life. No doubt, God knew I could benefit from godly women being willing to teach and train me in how to love my husband, train up my children, and live out the word for the glory of God. But my stubborn heart refused instruction, as I learned many lessons the hard way.

Many of us resist the Titus 2 call; both as the older woman and younger woman.

Do we push these biblical instructions away because we fear our weaknesses being found out?

Do we run from mentors in fear of rejection?

Do we hesitate stepping up as mentors, in fear we might not be good enough? 

As I stumbled through my late twenties and into my thirties, God softened my spirit toward biblical mentoring as I found myself in the position of being a mentor toward teens. Even though I didn’t feel old enough or wise enough, as I sought to follow Christ distinctly, God equipped me to mentor these young souls with a biblical foundation.

In the process, He also brought mentors in my life—older women willing to speak truth into my life, guide my journey of faith, pray for my heart to heal, intercede for my children and marriage. At first, I didn’t recongize the mentoring role they each filled, until I started noticing the tremendous impact they were having on my life. God was growing in me a teachable, not-so-independent spirit. These Titus 2 women were speaking into my life—with unspoken permission—because I was finally willing to be taught, while also learning how to teach the next generation.

Accepting the role of being a mentor

While we’re busy making excuses about mentoring, God might be shaping us into mentors who are being mentored.

This is because God is willing and able to use us on the continuum of spiritual, physical, and emotional growth, as valuable (and vulnerable) members within the family of God and beyond.

He knows the blessings of intertwining the generations together and longs for us to willingly receive that gift.

God has not only transformed me into a mentor in spite of my resistance and excuses, but He has burned a passion in my heart to equip women, like you, and to mentor their daughters and the next generation of young women.

This generation needs you to rise up and speak truth, hope, and purpose into their lives. And my guess is, you need someone doing that in your life, too. I know it may feel like a scary step of faith, but I promise you that answering the call to mentor biblically is filled with rich blessings.

Leave a comment!

Would you be willing embrace the call to mentor?

***

For more insight on mentoring, check out these helpful resources:

• Mentor Like Jesus
• Mentoring 101: What Every Leader Needs to Know
• Transforming Together: Authentic Spiritual Mentoring

I still remember hiding myself in the living room drapes, peeking out every now and then to glare at the movers as they emptied our home of everything familiar. I watched, indignant and despairing, as if these men were thieves rather than employees doing a job.

The next day, our family pulled out of the driveway for the last time, leaving behind my Holly Hobby bedroom, my first best friend, and the front yard willow tree underneath which I had discovered the magic of imagination. Within a week, the moving van met us in another state to deliver all our belongings to our new home. And although the belongings were the same, somehow my 6-year-old self knew I would never be. Life as I knew it came to an abrupt end.

More than three decades later, I still remember my 6-year-old grief

Significant and worthy, yes. But now, with a gentle buffer of years, I see our cross-country move with different eyes. Instead of loss, I see gain. I see the beautiful home my parents raised me in, sitting on one acre of country land and backing a horse farm. I see new best friends, the ones who shared birthdays, holidays and filled every high school memory I cherish.

And I see our church. Nestled in an insignificant Midwestern town, this church became the greater family that ushered me into an adult faith that carries me still. Men and women, parents and leaders, who nurtured the smallest seeds of faith in a six year old, eventually producing a young woman who didn’t want to go to church, but who wanted to be the church, just as they had been.

If I could talk to the little girl hidden in the drapes, I’d pull her close and reassure, “Although it feels like a painful end, this move will one day turn out to be a beautiful beginning. There’s something incredible waiting for you. But you can’t go there until you leave here.”

I now know endings are a normal part of life. Relationships will wane. Jobs will change. Some dreams may die. As I watch another spring bloom, I see evidence everywhere of prior endings. Browned leaves, bare tree branches and grass beginning to green. Our ever-changing seasons speak what all creation knows: All things have their time. Before the new can begin, the old must go.

Still, it isn’t easy. The unknown and unseen terrifies, and so we wrestle against it and hide in the drapes, glaring and despairing.

But what if we looked to Someone with a better vantage point?

Unbound by time, He sees endings with compassion and not an ounce of panic. What if we trusted Him to pack up all we hold dear and deliver it exactly where it needs to be?

He knows how it works out in the end. From the perspective of eternity, He sees what was, what is and what will be, all with a glance. And, never tiring, He weaves and works each beginning and ending into a story that can only be described and right and good (Romans 8:28).

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” —Isaiah 43:19

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Spring is the perfect time to think about new growth and potential life change. What needs to end so you can embrace a beginning?      

Something very sweet happened the other day to my sister—a little unexpected—but it warmed my heart. She was assigned to go to an Islamic Mosque Center for class; upon arriving the students heard the hymn of a Muslim over the intercom. A man eventually greeted them and beckoned them to their place of worship.

Everyone is capable of love

Following the man, was a little boy who apparently wouldn’t stop smiling and toying at my sister. When it was time for worship, the most adorable thing happened. Once bending over, the little boy peeked his head through his legs awkwardly and smiled at her. The father, whom had greeted them, while still faced toward the ground, had moved his head and put it against his sons’. He kissed him. Perhaps, he was too young to realize that gravity of praying to Allah.

An elderly gentleman picked up the same little boy and kissed him repeatedly, making the boy giggle.

Amid worship, the one thing my sister took away from this while trying hard not to smirk at the little boy, was this: love is truly universal and everyone is capable of love.

And it struck me, everyone is deserving of love and anyone is capable of love.

A while back, I probably would have seen things differently as my calloused heart could only allow. But now, I realize that my shallow indifference towards another religion or even this man and his son’s worshiping to Allah, is not showing the love of Christ to everyone as His Word instructs us to.

God tells us to love anyways

Upon hearing her story, I couldn’t help but smile at the ways God opens our hearts more and more to loving everyone as opposed to choosing whom I should love.

God doesn’t pick and choose who to love amongst us. Romans 2:11 says, “For God does not show favoritism.” I don’t see how I ever could have.

Yes, we may not agree with people of different religious backgrounds. We won’t agree with a lot of people in this realm.

Yet, our love should never cease as Christ’s love never has and never will. This is how we share and grow in our discipleship together; this is how little boys, such as the darling son of the praying man, grow up to wonder what it was in my sister that made him smile so much.

“Let brotherly love continue.” —Hebrews 13:1

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When was a time when God called you to love someone despite your differences?

Recently, my husband, Steve and I had the opportunity to spend our vacation in Costa Rica. The trip was amazing, but there is one day that particularly stands out in my memory. Steve and I traveled to a national park that had natural hot springs. After hiking in to where the hot springs were, we realized that we had to cross over a hanging bridge suspended high above a ravine to get to the springs.

A walk of faith

While my husband was excited, my enthusiasm tanked! I am not a fan of heights. That’s a nice way of saying heights terrify me! Immediately, I said to Steve, “I can’t!” Steve coaxed, begged and pleaded…and finally against my better judgment, I conceded. I cautiously climbed the steep stairs and took one step onto the bridge. Immediately doubt filled my heart. Was the bridge built securely? Could it hold our weight?

Steve kept coaching and somehow I made it to the middle of the bridge, but that’s when the wind began to blow and the bridge began to sway! I was quite sure I was going to pass out from fear. Steve kept coaching me to look into his eyes and take the next step. Finally I made it across the bridge, and there on the other side enjoyed the most beautiful and amazing hot springs. As I sat in those hot springs it hit me. The trek across the bridge was a lot like my faith walk!

Trusting in Jesus to carry us through

I trusted Jesus as my Savior as a tiny child but as an adult my dance with doubt began. When I looked back on my childhood and the sexual abuse I experienced, I began to doubt God’s goodness and love. My mind wondered, “God, why didn’t you step in and do something?” Yet, by faith, I took the next step on my journey of faith. Just as my doubt didn’t diminish the strength of that hanging bridge, my doubts about God’s goodness didn’t diminish the strength of His love, nor His ability to hold me secure.

Jude, the brother of James, ended his letter to the early church with praise to Jesus who is able to keep us from falling from faith and to present us faultless before God the Father (Jude 24). Let this encourage your heart today, the depth of your doubt doesn’t diminish the strength of God’s love for you. When it feels like doubt is crippling you, simply take the next step of faith.

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In what areas of your faith journey have you experienced doubt?

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SEX—Meet this need your husband will just be happier

HONOR—Respect goes a long way in a man’s heart

FUN—Your man married you because he liked spending time with you

FIDELITY—Keeping your vows is a two way street

MAN CARD—Give him guy time with his dad, his sons, and his male friends

Next we asked: What are a few ways couples can keep the Bible central to their relationship?

Bill and I see Bible study like one wonderful adventure! Anytime we learn something about Biblical history, context, or a word study, we run and share it with the other! We also encourage couples to do the simple basics so they can feel successful with the Bible:

1. Attend a Bible teaching church together weekly.
2. Be involved in a Bible study group together.
3. Have a 5 minute time in the Word, like we are encouraging through our devotional, “A Couple’s Journey with God” with the Faithlife book group.

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Want more from Pam and Bill Farrel? Checkout the Vyrso blog for more blog posts by the Farrels or join the Faithlife book group!

Recently he shared an illustration that resonated with me. He talked about being on the road for the transport company he works for (he’s a bi-vocational pastor and that’s his second job). It’s a crazy life; he meets a lot of people on the road and there always seem to be ‘issues’ he runs into. Trucks or vehicles aren’t ready or won’t start; they break down or don’t have the proper paper work. And on the other end of these problems are the people that are dealing with them. People who are going through trials are usually not very happy!

We are mirrors

“Think of yourself as a mirror,” he told me. “What people see is what they will reflect back to you.”

Profoundly simple—something I already knew, even—but it impacted me in a fresh way. It’s true isn’t it? When you smile at someone they generally smile back at you, if you’re cranky—they’re cranky.

My husband keeps a laid back demeanor with a ‘No problem! Take your time’ kind of response. He’s really good at thinking about things from the other person’s standpoint, and generally, that turns things into a more pleasant experience for both parties!

Reflecting Jesus

I’ve thought about this reflection thing a lot lately. The slogan on one of my son’s shirts reads, “Be the Moon—Reflect the Son.” I love that. Isn’t that what God’s asking us to do? Reflect Him? That’s our job as Christ-followers—to follow His example. And all too often—it’s not easy!

Philippians 2:3 says, “When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves.”

That can only be done through the power and control of His Spirit. Have you looked in the mirror lately? What do you see?

Do your prayers have power? When you pray, do you consistently see the power of God manifested on the earth? Does your experience in prayer match God’s descriptions of prayer’s power given in His Word?

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective,” we read, in James 5:16. Is that how you would define your prayer life—powerful and effective?  The words “powerful and effective” are translated from a single Greek word meaning capable of producing results; to have or exercise force. Prayer, James says, has force and produces results. Prayer impacts lives and situations on the earth. True prayer works.

Many believers are discouraged about prayer

Secretly, many have reached the conclusion that prayer doesn’t work or that prayer only works sometimes. Promises in the Bible regarding prayer seem unreliable, the outcome of prayer unpredictable. As a result, we have watered down or scaled back the scripture’s descriptions of the power of prayer.

We expect less from God than He longs to give. After all, how silly we felt having prayed boldly and with great conviction, believing with all our might, only to see our prayers go unanswered. Our faith takes a hit from which it never recovers. Next time, we are more circumspect with our requests. Next time, our expectations are more in line with reality.

Having reached this point, we need to look for ways to explain away the power promised in scripture. “It's not for today” is a favorite saying. How did we reach that conclusion? What is the authoritative basis of it? Certainly not Scripture. Trying to explain the lack of powerful praying, we have tried to reduce prayer to an activity that will match our experience, rather than looking for the source of prayer’s failure in ourselves.

Suppose you consult a doctor about an ailment and he prescribes a medication. Imagine that the doctor promises that this medication will cure your ailment. “Take this medicine in the prescribed dosage three times a day every day for ten days,” he instructs. Suppose that you go home and follow his instructions for a few days. You see little or no improvement, so you begin to doubt the efficacy of the medicine. You take it haphazardly and finally quit taking it at all. When you return to the doctor for a check-up, you say, “That medicine didn't cure me as you promised it would.” Is your accusation accurate? Did the medicine fail? Of course the medicine did not cure your illness. You didn't apply it correctly. You made your own rules. You wanted the medicine to work on your terms. The failing is not in the medicine but in your method of applying the medicine.

This is a picture of how we have come to think of prayer

“Prayer doesn't work like the Bible says it will work,” we say. Why not? Could it be because we have tried to make prayer work on our terms and that the failure is not with prayer itself but with our way of praying? Remember that God’s Word clearly states that God’s power produces results on the earth when a righteous person prays. (James 5:16)

I challenge you to look at your prayer experience honestly and without pretense. Set aside your past experiences that have caused you to feel disillusioned about prayer and its effects. Would you be open to God's Word as He speaks it through His Spirit into your understanding? In response to His Word, are you willing to change the way you view prayer? Would you put your life at His disposal and give Him access to your mind so that He can bring understanding?

Spend time today, on the National Day of Prayer, meditating on the power of prayer.

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Read more about the power of prayer:

• The Heart Of Prayer
  
• Quiet Talks on Prayer
• Prayers and Promises for Mothers

Have you ever wished you could sit down and talk with a mature Christian who would listen and pray for you? Are you willing to share what is on your mind and heart, knowing everything will be kept in confidence? If so, begin praying for God’s encourager to come into your life.

As a professional spiritual director, supportive friend, and companion, it’s a privilege to listen to women's struggles with relationships, self-image issues, and confusion about God’s expectations, among other things. Helping women in their spiritual journey through sharing Scripture, pointing to Christ's presence, and giving hope, transforms these times into holy moments.

What qualities should you watch for in someone you might approach?

• A woman who not only loves the Lord but is actively seeking to grow herself
• A woman who has faith and confidence that God is alive and wants to lead and bless you
• A woman who keeps confidences and is supportive, as well as straight-forward when needed!

How do you find this person?

• Look at women in your church—observe their involvement and attitudes. Would their personality and yours mesh?
• Ask your women's pastor or leader for a mentor—being specific about what you are looking for
• Ask women leaders you know if they could suggest someone for you to contact

Be understanding if some women cannot add one more commitment to their lives at this time—don’t take it personally! This process can take time, but persevere in praying for discernment and direction.