I’ve been writing a series of blogs pertaining to the busyness of our lives—a busyness that our culture deems normal and expected (See Living Busy vs. Living Best and Slow Down and Seek Him). However, if we’re not careful, this busyness can be dangerous, impacting our health physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

It’s busyness that can render us ineffective, distracted from our purpose and mission. It can lead us to neglect what God says is most important—a loving relationship with God and others (Matthew 22:37–40). As much as this way of life impacts us daily, we can be countercultural—aware and intentional to implement change.

Slow down and seek the Lord

We can embrace change that will bring health, clarity, discernment and availability to God and others. Slowing down and seeking the Lord regularly is where it all begins. Spending time with Him reorients us to right perspective, truth, surrender, and wisdom, including what we add to our schedules and what we don’t.

The second tool to implement change begins with examining our motives—why we do what we do. As I look back over the years, there were countless times where I found myself over-committed and stressed out, having added one more thing to my already packed schedule.

Examining my motives in those situations, I came to realize they were impure and usually steeped in fear or control. Worried what people thought, I wanted to please others. I didn’t want people to think ill of me, so I would agree to one more activity. Other times I didn’t want to miss an opportunity.

I wanted my life to matter and be significant which wasn’t necessarily wrong, but rather than my value and significance being anchored in Christ it was rooted in my performance and vocation. I had control issues as well, “If no one else is going to do it, I will have to step in and make sure that it gets done.” Donning my cape and “fixer” mentality, I would swoop in to save the day.

Some of us do things to hear affirmation or be noticed, some are motivated by false guilt or believe that the busier we are the more value we possess. Some may agree to more so we can keep up with friends or others in our specific industry; comparing ourselves with others, we don’t want to fall behind in any way.

Examine your heart

Asking the Holy Spirit to lead the way in examining our hearts’ motives, we can receive clarity and direction pertaining to our schedules and ultimately our lives.

If we have impure motives when contemplating involvement with something, we would be wise to let the opportunity pass until our hearts are pure. If our motives are pure, then the opportunity is worth exploring with the Lord.

Looking inward and allowing God to examine our hearts doesn’t have to be a frightening thing but in fact, growing, freeing, and life-changing. Rather than becoming busier in an attempt to satisfy our self-serving insatiable “needs,” we can become more available for God’s agenda and experience His peace.

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How would examining your motives help bring direction to your life?

Many of us have been willing to go into debt, lie or cheat on a resume, stay in relationships where we are treated poorly, etc., all for the sake of getting what we want. All because we thought the consequences of losing our dream were far worse than the consequences of sacrificing our values.

Learning from Moses’ faith

Moses wasn't willing to do that. You see, Moses wanted to enter the Promised Land more than anyone. He had a very personal relationship with God and he knew that God's promises were good. But what he knew even more was that the presence of God was so much better than any dream he could dream. Yes, he dreamed of entering the land that God had promised. Yes, he dreamed of the people that God had entrusted him with entering it too. But more than that, no matter how painful, he wanted God's plan. “…if your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here” (Exodus 33:15) And, guess what? Moses never entered the Promised Land, but he died loving and trusting God with everything he had.

I remember desperately wanting to homeschool my children. God said no and I was devastated. In hindsight, I see why. He said no because his dream for my family was much bigger than I was able to see. Much bigger than what I am still able to see. He had a different path for us.  What he did instead was settle that dream in my heart and showed me his plan. But I had to be willing to hand it over to him first. I had to be willing to trust him with my dream.

The funny thing is that ten years later, He called me to homeschool my children and I begged Him not to make me.  I didn’t want to do it. He had settled that for me years ago and now He was unsettling it.  Honestly, I still have no idea why He is asking me to do it now.  I am simply being obedient to His will and trusting that He has a plan for all of it.  I wonder sometimes if He just needed to see if I would let it go and follow Him and when I did, He gave it back to me.

Letting go of your “dreams”

What about you? Is there something you want desperately for yourself? What about for your family? Are you willing to let go of that dream if God wants something different? Have you even asked Him what He thinks about your dream? It doesn't mean that you should give up on your dream; not at all. I just know first-hand what happens when you enter into something that is not God's will and can I tell you, it is much more painful than letting go of the dream.

Prayer: Thank you God that I can trust you no matter what! Thank you that you have a plan for my life and for those that I love. Please keep me from entering into ANYTHING that is not your plan and if I have a dream that doesn't belong to you, remove that desire from my heart. Thank you that you are trustworthy!  In Jesus Name, Amen.

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What's one thing you feel God calling you to give up?

God does not need to be reminded of His promises. He made promises and bound Himself to us in a blood-sealed covenant so that we would know exactly what we could expect from Him. The purpose of His promises is to give us confidence and peace. Instead, sometimes we pray as if we are responsible for finding the scriptural promise that can be construed as guaranteeing the outcome we have prescribed, then taking that promise to God to hold Him to His Word.

This kind of pray-er treats God's Word as if it is a catalog. He decides what God should do, looks through the Bible to find a verse that will match his plan, and orders it. In doing so, as in catalog shopping, the pray-er skims over everything that holds no appeal. He picks and chooses.

Remember, Scripture is not Gods words; it is God's Word

Scripture is a whole and cannot be cut apart and pasted together to match my agenda. His Word is not a catalog. It is His promise in writing.

When we approach prayer this way–as if God might try to get out of meeting our need, but since we have His promise, we can hold Him to it–once again, energy is spent in the wrong direction. What a burden it is for me to search the scripture and find exactly the right verse to bring to God's attention.

Instead, as I turn my heart and my mind toward Him, He reminds me of His promises. He reminds me of what I can count on. The promises are not for me to use in getting my way with God, but they are for God to use to inspire faith and confidence within me.

I know there are sentences in Scripture which some have interpreted to mean that we are to remind God of His promises. For example, “Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life” (Ps 119:49–50). This word translated “remember” means to put a mark on something so you can find it again. In our day, it would be like to highlight text on a page. Make it stand out. Emphasize it. Certainly David was not fearful that God had forgotten His word.

Now let’s look at an incident in which it appears that the petitioner was reminding God of His promises. Right now, read 2 Chronicles 20:1–29 and take note of Jehoshophat’s prayer. Notice that it sounds as if he is reminding God.

God watches over His words

Let’s dissect that some. Jehoshaphat came before the Lord to inquire of Him and to seek help from Him. The promises of God and the past faithfulness of the Lord began to fill Jehoshaphat’s mind.

What sounded like the petitioner reminding God, was really God reminding the petitioner.Notice who Jehoshaphat’s faith and boldness grew with each declaration of God’s promises. God was building a foothold for his faith.

God is watching over His word to see that it is carried out, according to Jeremiah 1:12. Every word He has spoken and every promise He has made live forever and are settled in the heavens. Rather than working to find a promise of which you can “remind” God, instead be still and let God remind you.

Leave a comment!

How does your approach change if you know that God is reminding you of His promises? Share an experience of letting God remind you of who He is.

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Read more by Jennifer Kennedy Dean:

• He Restores My Soul
• Praying the Promises of God
• Heart's Cry: Principles of Prayer

When I arrived at the house where I was house sitting, no familiar voice welcomed me, no music played from upstairs bedrooms, no pots and pans clattered in the kitchen. There was no sound. Zilch.

I dropped my stuff on the dining room table and walked into the family room. There, curled up in an armchair, was my only companion for the next three days: Ms. Kitty. Sitting down next to her, I could hear the clock upstairs ticking and a neighbor’s dog barking in the distance. I couldn’t stand the silence, so I walked over to turn the TV on—not to watch it, but to banish the quietness.

I realized that day how much I like noise in the background, whether it’s voices, the radio, or television. There’s just something comforting about it. In fact, if it’s too quiet, I get lonely.

I like “noise” in all areas of my life … I love being busy

My love for busyness has, in fact, turned into a (sometimes awful) habit of not being able to sit still. I’m always doing something—calling, writing, exercising, writing … and while it’s good to make the most of my days, I also need to remember that working for Christ does not draw me nearer to Christ.

I wonder, How often do I miss my Savior’s voice because I’m too occupied with “noise”?

Sometimes I’m busy with good things, like helping others, writing a new article, or cleaning the house. But often I get so busy serving God that my time with Him is cut short.

Tozer puts it well: “Religion has accepted the monstrous heresy that noise, size, activity and bluster make a man dear to God. But we may take heart. To a people caught in the tempest of the last great conflict God says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God’ (Psalm 46:10), and still He says it, as if He means to tell us that our strength and safety lie not in noise but in silence.” —A. W. Tozer

But silence is not something we experience very often. With iPhones attached to our fingers and headphones glued to our ears, God can barely get a word in edgewise. How often do we stop bombarding our minds with noise and listen to the Lord? Why don’t we silence our phones and give God the opportunity to speak?

At times I avoid silence because I don’t want to listen

I mean, what if God asks me to do something I don’t want to do? It’s a difficult position to be in! I have to remember that while He may ask me to do something difficult, He never does it to harm me. What’s more, He promises to be right there with me as I do it. “I will never leave nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5, ESV).

Yes, what God asks may be overwhelming—more than you think you can handle—but as Katie shares, “I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving himself by doing the impossible in our lives … He reminds me that all of this life requires more of him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see his grace and faithfulness shining through our lives” —Katie Davis (emphasis mine)

Are you, like me, afraid that God may ask something difficult of you? Is the noise of your life simply drowning out God’s voice?

In silence, God will speak. He will give us the opportunity to display His love and faithfulness to those around us through our obedience. Will you join me in the pursuit of silence?

Thirteen years ago, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I received a rather bizarre challenge from my mentor. Her challenge was, “Try spending 20 minutes praising God for five days.”

At the time I thought, “What a crazy idea! I have just been diagnosed with cancer. The last thing I feel like doing is praising God.” But after wrestling with my thoughts, I decided to give praise a shot, after all what did I have to lose? What I experienced in those five days left me with an insatiable appetite for more: more of His presence, more of His love, more of His mercy and more of His power.

Now, many years later, the practice of private intentional times of praise is still the pattern of my life. What I began to realize in my journey was that praising God radically transforms our souls.

God’s presence became more tangible, and I began to change into a more positive, confident, and secure woman. The changes occurring in me were undeniable. This is why, twelve years later, I wrote a book called, The 30 Day Praise Challenge.  It is the book of my heart!

I believe that if you take this challenge, you will change. You will re-fall in love with Jesus. You will experience more joy and peace, less insecurity and envy, more boldness and courage, and less fear and anxiety. Your faith will grow and the fruit of the Spirit will be more evident in your life. You will find that the chains that once bound you are broken, and you will experience more freedom than you ever dreamed possible!

No matter what circumstances you are facing in your life, praising God lifts your focus to His Almighty heart and unleashes the transforming power of the Holy Spirit into your life.

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Why do you think God invites us to praise Him?

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Pre-order The 30-Day Praise Challenge  today for just $5.99!

“God, help me, please,” I moaned. “You created our bodies to need sleep, so please let me sleep.” Another hour passed. During that time, I wrestled with my attitude. Angry thoughts simmered, stirred by pain and exhaustion, spiced with a pinch of self-pity.

Nearly 12 weeks prior, I’d suffered injuries to both legs

First my left Achilles tendon partially ruptured, landing me in a knee-high cast with no weight-bearing allowed for three months. Several days later, the opposite knee developed issues that required surgery and left me unable to use crutches.

Wheelchair bound, I’d learned to hoist myself backwards up 15 stairs every night to reach my bedroom. I’d learned to be okay with my forced confinement, with accepting others’ help with meals and housecleaning, and even with having others empty my commode.

Adapting my lifestyle and dealing with pain was doable, but insomnia nearly sent me over the brink. My husband provided strong support, but then ministry required him to travel overseas for two weeks while I remained at home. He’d been away for nine days when that night—and for the first time since my initial injury—despair threatened to swallow me whole. It might have succeeded had God not spoken clearly to me the next morning through His word.

Tears blurred my eyes as I read Psalm 77: 1–20. “I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help. You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray! I think of the good old days long since ended, when my nights were filled with joyful songs. I search my soul and think about the difference now…” —Psalm 77:3–6

The psalmist’s experience echoed mine, it seemed

Knowing someone else felt the same way greatly encouraged me. But then his focus turned and he began to praise:

“…I recall all you have done, O LORD; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about them. O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you?” —Psalm 77:11–13

He ended with the declaration, “When the Red Sea saw you, O God, its waters looked and trembled! The sea quaked to its very depths .… Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters—a pathway no one knew was there! You led your people along that road like a flock of sheep, with Moses and Aaron as their shepherds” —Psalm 77:16, Psalm 77:19–20

I spent the next hour pondering this passage and journaling my thoughts. The truth renewed me inwardly and restored my hope.

Three insights, especially, impressed me then and have returned to mind often in the days since:

1. Pain is common to mankind. When we’re in pain, it’s easy to think we’re the only ones hurting. That’s so false. Numerous suffering women came into my life during the months following my injuries. Some were relatives; others were strangers who stumbled across my website. Hearing their stories encouraged me to look beyond my own needs. I couldn’t help them physically, but I prayed on their behalf—especially in the midst of my sleepless nights.

2. Praise empowers us. The psalmist poured out his heart to God, and then he began praising Him for His holy ways and strong arm. Wise move. Focusing on God’s character rather than our circumstances reminds us that He’s able to strengthen us today and provide hope for tomorrow. It’s a strong weapon designed to defeat the enemy of discouragement.

3. Providence leads us through difficulty’s deep waters. God doesn’t plop us in a dinghy and shove us away from the shore. Neither does He push us from behind. Rather, He leads the way. And He does so on a path that He knows is there.

Pain is an evitable part of life. Despair often lurks close behind, but we can escape its grasp. God’s word reminds us of His presence and promises, and therein lies hope.

Leave a comment!

What Scriptures do you cling to in times of pain and struggle?

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Read more by Grace Fox:

• Peaceful Moments to Begin Your Day: Devotions for Busy Women
• Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman's Guide to Peace in Every Situation

Ouch.

The house looked immaculate. The aroma of the new cinnamon candle I purchased was flowing through each room of the house like an inviting and aromatic embrace. I had the new place mats out and the floor had been swept. The kitchen looked like something from an HGTV makeover show. I suppose I could see her point.

When we know people are coming over, we want to put our best foot forward

Most days, our home is a bit more “lived in.” But yesterday, I just felt like cleaning because I wanted to make it nice for my family. Nobody was coming over. No dinner party. Just family. And how sad that my baby girl thought this was odd! What does that say about my housekeeping skills?

So, what would happen if someone came over, unannounced? I have always thought that if that ever happened, I would just give a disclaimer: “If you are here to see a clean house, you must leave at once! But if you’re here to see me, come on in!” I wonder if I would really do that, though? What would people think if they saw my house in a “lived in” state? I know the people who know me best have seen it and still love me anyway, but what about those who only know me from a distance?

Do you ever find yourself “cleaning up” for other people? I’m not talking about your house now. I’m talking about your life. Maybe you feel the pressure of being someone you aren’t—someone you really want to be—but you’re just not being authentic and honest about who you are to certain people out of fear of being exposed or judged. Oh, how exhausting this can be! The truth is, everyone is imperfect, but some are much better at pretending than others. If we were all just completely honest about our struggles, sins, and imperfections, we’d be a lot less stressed out. Wouldn’t we?

Let’s not be like the Pharisees in Matthew 23:25–26, the ones Jesus spoke to saying, “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy — full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.”

A pure heart is what God is seeking and it should be what we are seeking, too

Once our hearts are cleaned and pure, the outside will become clean, too. Instead of trying to make a good impression on the outside to others, let’s focus on allowing God to clean us up on the inside so our pure hearts will be what people are drawn to. Only then can we make a real, lasting impression—an impression that gives the glory to God alone.

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How can we focus on showing God’s grace, rather than appearing perfect?

It was the perfect evening for a walk.

My three little ones alternately ran ahead and then stopped to wait for me. Our black lab pulled at her leash, anxious to run and explore. Within minutes, the last rays of the day’s sun disappeared behind the mountains, turning the sky into a dramatic canvas of pink, orange and purple. I called the littles to me, reached for their hands.

“Look at that sunset! Isn’t it beautiful?”

They looked with round eyes into the western sky, pointing out the shaped clouds with shining pink underbellies. I marveled out loud, hoping to help them connect the sunset with the God who created it.

“You know, He gives us little gifts like this because he loves us.”

We resumed walking, but I didn’t want the moment to pass without some other acknowledgement of what we’d experienced. It seemed sacred, special. So I decided to pray. Outloud. While we walked.

“Thank you, God, for this beautiful night. We love how you painted the sky!”

That’s it. Not exactly a seminary prayer course. But it caught their attention. The window of opportunity wide open, I went on to explain God’s accessibility, how we can talk to him anytime, anywhere. Not just at the dinner table or at bedtime. Not only when our hands are folded or eyes are closed. In all, our conversation lasted a moment. But they got the message.

I’ve been a mother for almost 20 years. More than anything, I want my children—all six of them—to know that God is real, active, and present in the ordinary, unscheduled moments of every day. This is the anchor I hope will secure them, regardless of life’s many unknowns.

But I have a confession: We don’t do family devotions. At times, we have. We kept the devotional and Bible next to the kitchen table and read for 30 minutes after dinner. But then homework, church activities and ball practice interfered. No more family devotions. Instead, guilt. Truckloads of it. I can’t be a good mom without doing organized family devotions every day, right?

Daily family devotions are certainly a good discipline. No doubt about it. If you’re one of those families, I applaud you. But I’ve learned talking about the reality of God on a sunset walk can change a child’s life, too. So can praying in the school parking lot or sharing Bible verses on a playground.

If you’re letting guilt beat you down about what you’re not doing, how about redirecting that energy into something you can do? A family devotion after dinner isn’t the only way to teach your children about God. If you need some fresh, simple ideas for a vibrant spiritual family life, try one or two of these ideas:

• Talk about God’s unique creation during a nature walk.
• Share Psalm 139 while helping little ones get ready in the morning. (“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Ps. 139:14)
• Pray for the needs of others while running errands. (i.e. When passing car accidents, nursing homes, local churches, etc.).
• Keep a few small index cards with Bible verses in the bathroom and car dash.
• Talk about God’s promise to be with us always (Matthew 28:20) when dealing with hurt feelings, challenging homework or a difficult friendship.
• Keep a basket with individual verses on slips of paper near the kitchen table. Pull one out and read it during breakfast or dinner and briefly talk about what it means.
• Choose a family verse. Print it out, frame it and hang it in a prominent place in your home. Look for ways to talk about it as often as possible. (i.e. Proverbs 3:5–6)

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What’s one simple way you can include God in the ordinary parts of each day?        

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Read more about helping your children see God in the day-to-day busyness of life:

• Grace-Based Parenting
  
• The Power of a Praying Parent
• Intentional Parenting: Family Discipleship by Design 

We live in a fallen world in which we daily experience the pain and destruction of sin. There is anger, back biting, disappointment, impatience, selfishness, complaining, ungratefulness…the list goes on and on. There are times that we may be tempted to think that there is no hope for any kind of peace or joy in our lives.

Displaced anger

You see, our hearts suffer from a sense of displaced anger. When we should be fighting for justice with a godly anger we are instead busy with bitterness towards our coworker, impatience with our children or frustration with our neighbor who doesn’t live up to our standards.

So what is one to do when facing an angry spouse, a child who is hurling meaningless yet hurtful words in your face or a client who is making false accusations?

Proverbs 15:1 tells us that “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Where do we find that soft answer? How do we endure the wrath and answer back softly when we’ve been hurt?

When attacked, our instincts tell us to shrink back and run away from the situation or to put our boxing gloves on. Both of which are obviously not peacemaking responses, so where is our hope?

Look to the Gospel

The cross of Christ was the soft answer that was given to God on our behalf. You see as Christ hung there on that splintered beam among thieves, He became everything that we were (sinful and flawed) and made us everything that He is (perfect and righteous) by absorbing the wrath of God on our behalf. Oh, the pain and agony of not only the physical torment but of the emotional separation from His perfect union with His Father. And He did this so that we may have peace!

Here we see Jesus absorbing the wrath and then in turn speaking the truth on our behalf. “It is finished!” was spoken not referring to an end to His physical suffering but rather a declaration of victory on our behalf. Christ absorbed everything that was deserved by us and then responded with the truth of God’s love for us by redeeming us and making us righteous.

The grace to absorb

Because Christ’s soft answer turned away God’s wrath for us we now have the grace to absorb what is coming at us and to return it with truth and love.

By absorbing I do not at all mean to say that we internalize or ignore the hurt. No, there may still be the anger of injustice but rather than running or retaliating we are able to speak back the truth. We are able to say, “It is finished. I don’t need to do anything else to prove my worthiness. I have God’s approval.” This allows us the boldness to return the accusation of “You hate me” with the truth of “No, I love you” or to stand our ground when we are falsely accused by holding to the truth while still loving our neighbor.

When we remember what Christ has done for us we are more likely to absorb the anger like a sponge diffusing the hate. When we bask in the mercy and grace that was showered upon us on the cross we will have more of a desire to be peacemakers. And when we are able to find our hope for conflict in the cross we are truly free.

Leave a comment!

In what ways do you see the Gospel penetrating your heart as you relate to others?

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Check out Kimm’s new book, Christ in the Chaos ! It’s a “must read” for every mother who longs for what is seemingly impossible: peace and freedom in the midst of her chaos.

My oldest son was in 5^th grade and needed a 20 oz. Coke bottle for a science project at school. I pulled in to the gas station only to find that I didn’t have any money. I began desperately searching the car, hopeful to find some loose change under the seats. Not today. Had my life really come to this? I sat in the car and cried for what seemed like hours. I finally mustered up the courage to go into the store to ask for a Coke on credit with a promise to come back and pay for it the following week.

Clinging to God

As a single mom I had become well acquainted with life on the edge; having to trust God for everything. My middle class life had been hurled into poverty overnight and now there was nothing else to do but trust.

Just a few years prior, I had found myself living in a motor home in my dad’s back yard, homeless with nowhere else to turn. I left my short, turbulent marriage in the middle of the night with the clothes on my back, two children at each side and one on the way. I had nothing else to hang on to but God.

You see, what I have come to discover is that struggles are just a part of life. They can’t be avoided. What we can do, however, is learn to respond to these struggles differently. Respond to them from a place of trust and not from a place where the circumstances control how we ract.

The cashier at the gas station saw my distress that day and offered to buy the coke for me. I was humiliated and horrified. I went back to the car, cried some more and prayed: “God, why? If I could just get child support everything would be okay.” God very clearly reminded me that my ex-husband was not my provider. I knew that God’s word said that He would supply all of my needs but I wanted Him to supply them without humiliating me. I had allowed pride to stop me from seeing His provision.

God always provides

You see, God wanted to teach me that He would supply all of my needs. Not just some of them but all of them! And He would provide for me in a way that would break down anything that hindered my walk with Him.

He was much more concerned that day about my character than He was about that Coke. That day, from His glorious riches he refined a little bit of my character and I was that much closer to becoming more like Him.

It wasn’t an easy lesson and it was extremely painful, but I am a much better off today because of it.

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear… For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” —Matthew 6:31–34

Leave a comment!

What pieces of Scripture do you lean on in times of trouble?

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Read more on God’s faithfulness in times of trial:

• Trusting God: A Life Without Worry
  
• Trusting God When Times Are Tough
• Unshakable: Trusting God When All Else Fails