Falling into my own sarchasm...

Thea Kristine May Quote on Positive Thinking

michikins — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:40:05 GMT

“Appreciate every little beautiful moment in every day of your life. Give it a try and you’ll see the world from another perspective.”

—Thea Kristine May

This quote is so true. The moment you start to take things for granted, even the little things, is the moment you start to lose the perspective of how beautiful so many of those things really are. I’d love to hear what other people have to say about the second have of the quote—if you give it a try, will you please post what you noticed?

Thea Kristine May Quote on Positive Thinking

michikins — Thu, 02 May 2013 14:35:50 GMT

“Appreciate every little beautiful moment in every day of your life. Give it a try and you’ll see the world from another perspective.”

—Thea Kristine May

Allan Rufus Quote on Positive Thinking

michikins — Wed, 01 May 2013 14:42:24 GMT

“The most incredible architecture is the architecture of Self, which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.

With every in-breath you are adding to your life and every out-breath you are releasing what is not contributing to your life. Every breath is a rebirth.”

—Allan Rufus, The Master’s Sacred Knowledge

I read this quote last night and I was struck by how beautiful it is. Honestly, the words are put together so masterfully as to capture exactly what the author is trying to say. It’s like a meditation, in a way, or yoga (which, of course, often includes meditative components). But let’s actually think about this one and let it sink in.

When you think of architecture, you think of buildings, and likely big buildings in cities, or maybe famous structures like the Louvre or the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Some of the more computer-savvy may think of the architecture of a computer system rather than buildings. So, let’s take a look at the dictionary’s definition of architecture:

architecture |ˈärkiˌtek ch ər|

noun

1 the art or practice of designing and constructing buildings.

• the style in which a building is designed or constructed, esp. with regard to a specific period, place, or culture : Victorian architecture.

2 the complex or carefully designed structure of something : the chemical architecture of the human brain.

• the conceptual structure and logical organization of a computer or computer-based system : a client/server architecture.

We can now see that architecture isn’t strictly about buildings or even computers. “the complex or carefully designed structure of something” and the example given even mentions the human brain. Fascinating! So let’s take a look at how it applies to the quote.

The most incredible architecture is the architecture of Self——Here I don’t believe the author is referring specifically to the physical makeup of ourselves, such as our bone structure or, even like the dictionary suggests, the chemical architecture of the brain. I believe the author is talking about our Self almost as in our Soul, that part of ourselves that we can shape and define by the choices we make every day. For instance, do we choose to be negative? Then the Self we are building is one of negativity. Do we choose to be pessimistic about life? Then the Self we are building is one of pessimism. But what happens when we choose to be happy? Choose to make a difference in ourselves? Choose to be radiant and optimistic and ready for change? When you focus on these things and breathe them in, a method of accepting this choice, and then you breathe out all that negativity you’ve held onto, then you are, in effect, creating a rebirth in your life. How beautiful is that?

Abraham Lincoln Quote on Positive Thinking

michikins — Wed, 01 May 2013 14:39:11 GMT

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”</p>

—Abraham Lincoln

I love this quote because it’s really about perspective. If you focus on the negatives of the rose—in this example, the thorns—then it can seemingly bring down the value of the rose. However, if you focus on the positives of the thorn—in this example that, the beautiful rosebuds—then it gives more value to the rose and allows you to think more in terms of the positives of a thing, rather than its negatives.

Stephen King Quote on Positive Thinking

michikins — Wed, 01 May 2013 14:35:36 GMT

As some of you may know, I’ve decided to start a daily “Positive Thinking” quote at work and I thought I would track them, with my musings, here as well. I’m going to start with one of my favorite Stephen King quotes:

“…you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”

― Stephen King, On Writing

While this quote is technically about writing, and more specifically about writing a novel, I believe it can apply to anything in life, even in the workplace. Thinking about learning a new skill? “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Thinking about trying to move up the chain? “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Just always remember: You can do this. I can do this. Anyone can do pretty much anything they set their mind to. We just have to want it enough.

I desperately need your help (no money involved)!

michikins — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 20:13:05 GMT

So, I’ve recently realized that I have become a very jaded person. I’ve seen it coming—in fact, I’ve tried to change it and whenever I feel like I’m getting back to the “real me,” something happens and throws me back into the jaded group.

But not only am I jaded… I’ve become almost bitter in ways. I’ve become very intolerant of many things that I normally would have just let slide. I get frustrated very easily. These are NOT good qualities—and especially not so when you have small children to raise (one of which is a tween and is picking up on attitude and such).

So……… I need y’all’s help. (Yes, I said “y’all’s” with two apostrophes. I’m weird like that.) I need you to help me break out of this jaded shell. I need you to help me view the positives in life instead of focusing on all the negatives. I’ve realized I can’t do it on my own. Counseling only helps so much—I need real people in my real life who I converse with regularly to help me out here.

You may be asking yourself, “What can I do to help you? I mean, it’s your problem…” and, well, you’d be right. But you can help me by pointing out to me when I’m saying something that’s jaded or negative or bitter, etc. I need that help.

So, what say you? Will you help me out with this? Will you beat me over the head with kindness and positivity? (LOL) I know my husband would thank you… and my kids would certainly thank you… and, of course, I would be eternally grateful. It may seem lame, but hey, I’m putting it out there, so whatever happens happens, right?

Thanks in advance to all of you!

10 Facts You May Not Know About Lupus

michikins — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:57:30 GMT

I’ve had friends, and even some family members, asking me questions about Lupus of late. It seems several of them are currently in the diagnosis process (which can take awhile) and are looking for answers to some basic questions, and even to some obscure ones! I thought this might be a good time to put together a list of facts that you may—or may not—know about Lupus.

Fact #1

There are four (4) different types of Lupus:

Drug-Induced Lupus—This type of Lupus is caused by some prescription medications. The symptoms of Drug-Induced Lupus are very similar to those of Systemic Lupus (discussed later), though there is rarely any organ involvement/damage. There are three drugs that are most commonly associated with drug-induced lupus. They are isoniazid, an antibiotic drug used to treat tuberculosis; hydralazine, a drug used to treat hypertension (high blood pressure); and procainamide, a drug used to treat arrhythmia (irregular heart rhythms). There are other drugs associated with drug-induced lupus but these three are the most common. It is very important to note that not everyone who takes these drugs will develop Drug-Induced Lupus; in fact, it’s not very common. In the cases where Drug-Induced Lupus does occur, the symptoms will usually go away within six (6) months after the medications have been stopped.

Neonatal Lupus—This type of Lupus is most commonly found in newborns of mothers that have Lupus. It is caused by antibodies from the mother crossing over in the womb. Some babies born with Neonatal Lupus will also suffer from serious heart defects, though these heart defects are often the only lasting effects of the illness. The babies may be born with a skin rash (most common presentation of Neonatal Lupus), liver issues, and low blood cell counts, but these symptoms go away completely after several months and usually with no lasting effects. Fortunately, research has shown that children born with Neonatal Lupus are no more predisposed to other types of Lupus later on in life, though if the mother has Systemic Lupus, the child will be more likely to develop an autoimmune disorder later in life.

Discoid Lupus—Discoid Lupus, in and of itself, generally only affects the skin. It is often referred to as Cutaneous Lupus because of its predilection of affecting the cutaneous layer of the skin, though the official terminology is Discoid Lupus. People with this type of Lupus tend to have extreme photosensitivity (sensitivity to the sun and other UV lights). Discoid Lupus often causes severe scarring, commonly permanent. Some patients affected by Discoid Lupus also suffer from Systemic Lupus, though they are technically two separate conditions.

Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE)—Systemic Lupus is usually more severe than Discoid Lupus and can affect the joints, skin, and pretty much any/every organ in the body, including kidneys, heart, lungs, and brain. SLE is the most common form of Lupus, affecting nearly 70 percent of all patients with any type of Lupus diagnosis. Major organ involvement shows up in approximately half of these cases. This is the type of Lupus that I have.

Fact #2

As you learned in Fact #1, SLE can affect nearly any organ in the body. Because of this, it may be necessary to be treated by more than one kind of doctor. For instance:

Rheumatologist—This doctor specializes in diseases of joints and muscles. They not only see patients with Lupus, they also see patients with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Sarcoidosis, Behcet’s Disease, Gout, Sjögren’s Syndrome, etc.

Neurologist—This doctor specializes in the nervous system, including the brain.

Cardiologist—This doctor specializes in the heart.

Nephrologist—This doctor specializes in the kidneys.

Dermatologist—This doctor specializes in the skin.

Perinatologist—This doctor specializes in high-risk pregnancies.

And, of course, you will still want to have your primary care physician for the little things like common colds, yearly check-ups, etc.

Fact #3

Diagnosing Lupus can be very tricky as there is no one blood test that says, “Hey, you’ve got Lupus!” Because of this, the 11 Criteria For Diagnosing Lupus was developed. Without going into too much detail (you’re welcome to click the link for more information, if you are so inclined), the gist of it is this: There are 11 criteria on the list. Patients that meet at least 4 of the 11 criteria can be considered for the diagnosis of Lupus. More goes into it than those criteria, of course, but that is the basic underlying principle for diagnosing Lupus.

There will be blood tests, urine tests, medical histories, and physical examinations performed in order to get more of the information. Upon physical examination, the doctor will look for things such as protein in the urine, pleurisy (fluid around the lungs and heart), swollen joints, and possibly even a skin biopsy. One of the most standard blood tests is the Antinuclear Antibody (ANA) test. This test gives a titer count—meaning that it’s a ratio of how many times a sample of blood must be diluted before there are no ANA present in the sample. Positive results will have a descriptive term attached to the sample that describes what its pattern look like. For example, a positive result on a lab report might look something like this: “Positive 1:320 homogenous pattern” or “Positive 1:2560 speckled pattern”. It is possible for the pattern of the ANA to change with time (mine went from speckled to homogenous before going back to speckled), and the titer count will also fluctuate, depending on disease activity.

Fact #4

There are many treatments for Lupus, depending on which type of Lupus a patient has and the severity of the disease activity. Probably the most common treatment is prednisone, a corticosteroid. Unfortunately, steroids carry their own brand of side effects that can include mood swings, increased appetite, weight gain (not always just associated with the increased appetite!), memory issues, fatigue, mania, difficulty sleeping, and infections. These are only a few of the side effects that are associated with prednisone. These are the ones that I’ve had as a result of taking them. My disease activity is so much better on the prednisone, but the side effects can be bad. Not just bad. Horrid bad. Sometimes I have to sit back and weigh the pros and cons of going on it—though, if I’m being totally honest, I do that with drugs that don’t have bad side effects! LOL.

Fact #5

Nearly 70% of patients with Lupus have an extreme sensitivity to ultra violet (UV) rays—either from the sun (most common and most reactive) or from common fluorescent lighting commonly found in many office buildings, shopping centers, etc. For some people, it will only cause a mild rash or hives. For others, like myself, it causes a full-out systemic response that includes hives, high fevers (104-105), full body aches (even after the fevers break), swelling, and lupus headaches (very similar to migraines). While I’m often not a fan of using a bunch of chemicals on my skin and such, I do use Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch sunscreen in 100 SPF in the summer—every. single. day.—whether I’m going to be outside much or not. I use the 50 in the winter. Living in Colorado at a higher elevation, sun damage can be pretty severe on its own, and it reflects off of snow and water easily. For someone with Lupus, it can be deadly. You’d be surprised how much sun exposure you get in just the little bits you do have to be out and about. For instance, my last vehicle had UV protected tinted windows. It was great! But my current vehicle, despite having tinting, does not have the UV protection and I noticed the symptoms nearly right away. Now, I didn’t necessarily realize where I was getting the extra sun exposure because I’d been so used to my old vehicle’s windows, but I did figure it out, and boy did I feel like an idiot when I did! Plus, there’s the walking to/from the vehicle to the entrance to work, shopping, etc. Using an umbrella does not do much unless the umbrella itself is made of UV-blocking material; I learned the hard way that regular umbrellas do not stop UV rays. Whoops! Also, don’t forget that UVB rays are the highest between 10am and 4pm. You can also purchase sun-protective clothing—clothing made with UV-blocking material—from various places. I own a couple of shirts from Coolibar that have an SPF rating of over 50.

Fact #6

So, what is Lupus, anyway? You may, in fact, be asking this exact question. I certainly wouldn’t blame you! Lupus falls under the classification of autoimmune diseases. Basically, this means that the immune system, which is there to fight off disease and sickness, doesn’t work properly. I’ve liked to describe it this way: Basically, my immune system is like a bunch of soldiers and bodyguards that keep out the bad guys and fight them off if they try to attack. However, my soldiers are dumb. Very dumb. As in, don’t-understand-that-Friendly-Fire-is-a-bad-thing dumb. They’re also hyperactive. Their best friend could be standing next to them but if the friend moves too quick—whoops! And then, of course, someone shoots, which makes another soldier jump the gun and shoot, and so on and so forth, until they’re all killing each other, not realizing that they aren’t the enemy. This, of course, allows other sickness/disease to sneak past and cause havoc. But it can get even worse… sometimes, these soldiers get so caught up in the destruction that they’re not just happy taking out the other soldiers. Oh, no… they see the barracks and think “I wanna blow that up!” So they do. Then they see the commissary and decide to blow it up. Then they see the latrines and decide to blow them up. And so on, and so forth. There are over 80 diseases that fall under the classification of autoimmune diseases/disorders; Lupus just happens to be one of them.

Fact #7

Lupus can also cause problems with memory, decision-making, attention, etc., all known as cognitive function. This is often described as “the Lupus fog.” These problems may be mild, such as forgetting to put the jam back in the refrigerator, or they may be more severe, such as forgetting where/who you are. It can be very frustrating, not just for the patient, but for the people around the patient as they don’t necessarily understand why you’ve forgotten what you wanted to say or why you didn’t grab the milk along with the bread at the store. They can also be frustrating for the doctor if/when the patient says “I know there was more I needed to tell you/discuss with you but I just can’t remember it right now.” This is why I keep a notebook or an electronic device (iPhone and/or iPad) with me pretty much at all times—so I can make notes to myself about this or that, or even record notes to myself if I’m driving so I don’t forget later. I also set multiple alarms and such on my phone to remind me of various things. Even with all of that in place, I still manage to forget things on a daily basis. It truly is incredibly frustrating.

Fact #8

Lupus can also cause many psychological issues, such as depression, anxiety, and fear. These can be caused by chronic pain (having your body attack itself can be extremely painful), frustration, stress, fatigue, lack of sleep, etc. These are often listed as diagnosis criteria for many autoimmune disorders, that’s how common these issues are in autoimmune-affected patients. As if this wasn’t bad enough, I feel it very important to mention that many of the medications used to treat these disorders/diseases also list psychological issues as common side effects. I’ve been pretty open in the past about my issues with two of the meds I was on (at different times). They both brought on feelings of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc. so slowly, so subtly, that I didn’t really notice the change, and it wasn’t as apparent to those around me who saw me every day.

The first time it happened, I was on Topamax on an extremely high dose. It wasn’t until I had posted some things on this very blog and some of my friends who I don’t see very often noticed a distinct change, both in the tone of my writing and in the topic of my writing, that I became aware of it. It took awhile to convince myself that it was the meds (I felt so much better on it) and it actually took me having a nearly complete nervous breakdown in my closet (of all places) to truly acknowledge it.

The second time it happened, I was on Cymbalta. I wasn’t on a very high dose and it didn’t come on nearly as slowly as it had with the Topamax, but it was a lot more aggressive. It actually led to a (thankfully failed) suicide attempt. It was bad. Very bad. Coming off of it was even worse—I experienced seizures, fainting/passing out, wild mood swings… uggh. I will never forget.

I believe that it is imperative—not just important, but truly imperative—that people suffering from chronic pain see a regular counselor/therapist/what-have-you. They will notice these changes faster than you or your loved ones will. And it’s good to have someone to talk through things with that isn’t emotionally invested in the situation. Even if you only go once a month, I truly believe it should be made a priority. I know that healthcare costs, especially mental healthcare, are high and it can be very difficult to do counseling, but if you have any way to do it, I can’t recommend it enough. If you can’t find/afford a licensed psychologist/therapist/etc., but you do attend a church or synagogue or other organized religion, many of them will offer these services for free or on a sliding scale. Use what you can when you can. It’s why the services are there. <3

Fact #9

Beware the “helpers.” Now, I’m not talking about the friends and family who want to help you, who offer to mow the lawn, or do the dishes, or watch the kids, etc. There’s a reason I put the quotation marks there. These are the people that think they are being helpful by telling you about what their “cousin’s sister’s best friend’s wife’s aunt” did to “cure” their Lupus. These are the people that think they are being helpful by telling you “you just need to take these supplements and you’ll be fine.” These are the people that think they are being helpful by telling you “all you need to do is exercise more/do yoga/eat ______ diet/*insert crazy fad or idea here*” So, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying they’re bad people. I’m not saying they’re trying to lead you astray. What I’m saying is, you will always find these people that almost always have the best intentions at heart. They can (and likely will) make you start to question yourself, doubt yourself, doubt your doctor, etc. As soon as you let that little bit of doubt come in, it can take over and become the rolling snowball of doom. We live in an age of infomercials trying to sell us things based on that doubt that creeps up inside us. You know you’ve seen those infomercials I’m talking about. Heck, just look at the “shake weight,” which plays on the doubts that your upper arms may be too flabby. Seriously? Or the little vibrating thing to put on your neck to “firm up” the skin on the neck. Because, you know, you don’t want to look like a turkey. (Insert WTF look here.)

Beyond the informercials, though, are all these companies trying to make money off of supposed all-natural and holistic “cures.” Remember, with Lupus patients, our immune systems are actually OVER-ACTIVE, not under-active. They don’t need to be stimulated. Things like echinacea and cat’s claw are used to boost the immune system. If your immune system is already over-active, and completely stupid to boot, do you really want to give it a boost?! In addition, some of these things can interfere with prescription medications, making them work different, cause side effects, etc. That’s not to say that all of these things should be avoided all of the time. It just means that you should take the “helpers’” advice with a grain of salt and ALWAYS discuss supplements, vitamins, holistic remedies, etc. with your doctors. (Notice the plural of the word doctors—you’ll need to discuss it with each of them!)

Fact #10

Did you know that there are several celebrities who also suffer with Lupus? Toni Braxton has been in the media as a huge advocate of Lupus. In fact, she recently revealed that she is retiring from singing to focus on managing her disease. The singer Seal has Discoid Lupus and, in fact, that is what has caused the scars on his face. Famous rapper Snoop Dogg’s daughter, Cori Broadus, has lupus, despite her young age. And Nick Cannon, Mariah Carey’s husband, revealed last year that he has Lupus. It can strike anyone at any time at any age regardless of how healthy a person is or how fit a person is. This is one of those facts that I think scares people the most—because there’s no way to see it coming and no way to prevent it.

In Conclusion

Although there is currently no cure for Lupus and other autoimmune diseases, there have been great strides in both the treatment and the diagnosis of them. Many people are living longer lives, are able to go into “remission” for longer periods of time, able to lead productive lives and fulfill their dreams. Much of this is due to early diagnosis. If damage can be caught early, or even prevented, it can make a world of difference. This is why you should never—not EVER—be afraid to discuss things with your doctor(s). Don’t be afraid to challenge them. In fact, I challenge YOU to challenge THEM. They’re billing at, on average, $600/hr in many cases (based on the average of $150 for a 15 minute appointment), so make them earn that money. If you are suffering from any unexplained symptoms, tell them. If they try things but they’re not working, don’t just give up and say to yourself “I’ll just deal with it.” Because, the truth is, you may not be able to “just deal with it.” Remember, your doctor works for you. Not the other way around.

Write your questions down before you go to your appointment so you don’t forget anything. This is good advice whether you think you may be suffering from Lupus or not—we all tend to space things even without “Lupus fog.” Keep a diary or log of symptoms and their duration so you can give your doctor a better picture of what is going on with you. It may take time. It may seem tedious. It may actually be tedious. Wouldn’t you rather spend a bit of time doing a tedious task that may possibly save your life, or at least save you from some misery? If you are an iDevice user (iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch), I cannot recommend the My Pain Diary app enough. Seriously. It is absolutely incredible and can be customized to fit your needs. You can password protect it. It can generate PDF reports for your doctor. It can track the weather so you can see if maybe the weather plays into your symptoms. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It’s inexpensive and is downright invaluable. (And no, I don’t get any kick-backs for recommending them. Maybe I should ask, though! Kidding!)

Do you have Lupus? Are you going through the diagnosis process currently due to suspected Lupus? Are you a caregiver for someone with Lupus? I’d love to hear from you and hear your take on things. Please feel free to comment below.

Simply Smoothies – Pomegranate banana

michikins — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 18:01:50 GMT

This was my second smoothie that I tried. Recipe mine.

Ingredients:

1/4 cup coconut milk

1/4 cup pomegranate juice

1 1/3 frozen banana

1 cup spinach

Directions:

Blend all ingredients until smooth. Drink cold.

Simply Smoothies – Orange berry blend

michikins — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 17:58:22 GMT

My first smoothie, as I was getting started down this road:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup fresh squeezed, no additional sweeteners Orange Juice

1/2 cup frozen berries (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries)

2/3 frozen banana

1 cup spinach

Optional: 1 cup ice

Directions:

Blend all ingredients together until smooth. Drink cold.

Simply Smoothies – An Overview

michikins — Sun, 30 Sep 2012 17:46:14 GMT

So, for the last couple of months, I’ve been experimenting with making homemade, fresh, smoothies for breakfast. I’ve become very serious about them, have been researching more and more smoothies and such, and finally broke down and spent a whopping $500 on a VitaMix. It’s a hell of an expensive purchase, but so far in the last 5 days, has proven to be all it touts itself to be and therefore worth the price. My husband keeps teasing me about being so excited over a blender, but really, is a VitaMix just a blender? LOL It’s so much more!!!

I’m going to start on here posting about my smoothies, recipes, tastes, reviews, etc. A lot of these recipes are ones I’m making up as I go – several are ones I’ve gotten from elsewhere. If a recipe is one I’ve gotten from elsewhere, and know where I got the recipe, I will be sure to link back to that recipe.

DISCLAIMER: I want to make it known that I am not doing this to lose weight. While yes, I do have quite a bit of weight to lose, it is not my goal of this smoothie adventure. My goal is simply to start the process, using baby steps, of eating healthier, making sure I’m getting at least my daily value of fruits and vegetables (if not a lot more!), and originally to work breakfasts back into my diet. They’re super easy to make, super easy to get vegetables into (not just fruits!), and the whole family likes them.

Some quick notes:

Bananas – we buy a lot of bananas but so rarely eat them all before they go bad. When they’re nice and browned (like you would use for banana bread), I slice them in thirds and put them in the freezer. They’re nice and sweet so they add a natural sweetener to the smoothies when necessary, are rich in potassium, and are so easy to use. And, if you do get the hankering for banana bread, you can easily take it out of the freezer and thaw it.

Avocados – I’ve been doing the same thing with avocados as I do with bananas – once they’re really ripe, if I can’t use them fast enough before they go bad, I slice them in half and freeze them. They’re good for about 4 months in the freezer and are great for smoothies or for making guacamole. I wouldn’t eat them plain out of the freezer like I do fresh ones, but they work out great for the smoothies and guac.

Berries – During the summer, fresh berries are, of course, the best way to go. We are entering fall now, though, and the prices on the fresh berries are going up. I’ve bought frozen berries in the past for smoothies and such but I need to caution one thing - check the labels. My daughter picked out a frozen/pitted cherry package that said “Organic, non-GMO” and looked great – until I read the label and saw that they had added sugar to the cherries to make them sweeter. I buy only unsweetened foods. If I need them sweeter, the ripe banana works great, or I can use honey.

National Suicide Prevention Week

michikins — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 13:57:09 GMT

Did you know that an Australian study, conducted just a few years ago, found that health issues and chronic pain were related to OVER 1 in 5 suicide deaths? When talking about suicide, we often focus on the mental health of the victim, but how often do we address the physical health of the victim?

People with Fibromyalgia are at a higher risk of suicide, over all of the other chronic illnesses. Why is that? Well, no one seems to know exactly why other than to infer that constantly being in pain leads to a person becoming severely depressed, and then thoughts of suicide take over. While I don’t doubt this is a part of it, I’m nowhere near convinced it’s the full reason. This is my personal theory based on my own personal experiences:

Many drugs given to FM patients initially are anti-depressants that are supposed to help because depression can cause “phantom pain” and such – and also because of a brain chemical imbalance. However, the drugs that have been designed and specifically marketed for FM are not officially anti-depressants, most likely because researchers realized that it wasn’t a depression-like pain. More and more, researchers are finding that FM isn’t depression-related, it’s more that there’s a disconnect between the nerves and the brain, that the nerves are misfiring for one reason or another, and sending signals to the brain that something is going on – whether it’s pain, tingling, itching, etc (all are symptoms of FM). These new drugs are working on the brain to see if it’s the brain that’s misinterpreting the nerves. They’re altering brain chemicals and in doing so, they alter the mind set. It’s not an overnight thing – it comes on gradually and so subtly that you don’t even realize what’s happening.

When this first happened to me, I thought it was just me. I thought I was the “weird” one. Then I talked to my rheumatologist who informed me that these drugs do carry a risk of suicidal thoughts. Wow, really? So he tried another drug, one that did still carry that risk, but wasn’t nearly as common of a side effect. Well, most doctors will tell you that if you take one drug and suffer a side effect from it, chances are sister drugs that carry that same side effect will cause that same side effect in you. Why he put me on that other drug I’ll never know. Regardless, it ended up leading me to my own attempt. In many ways, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I fought and fought and fought with myself but I couldn’t see any better solution for my family. I was costing them tons of money, I was causing them pain by me constantly being in pain. I honestly and truly felt they would be better off if I was gone because then my kids could have a mom who could go outside and play with them without worries of the sun causing a Lupus flare, a mom who could run around and do cartwheels and practice cheerleading with her daughter, etc. I felt my husband could then find a better wife, one who didn’t come home from work so exhausted and in pain that she couldn’t even wash the dishes or prepare dinner, one who had the energy to keep the house as clean as his mother, etc. I felt worthless and completely hopeless.

Once I was slowly tapered off of the “devil drugs” I had other side effects – seizures, fainting, twitches – and it took awhile for my mind to truly come back to me, but it did. In the meantime, while it was coming back, I did go into therapy. I figured that there had to be those underlying thoughts already in my mind that I needed to address and that the drugs just made worse and more unbearable.

Now, keep in mind here, I thought it was just me. Since then, I started researching, I started talking with others that have taken the same meds… and lo and behold, I’ve come across so many people that have had the same issues with these meds, including one person who lost their mother to suicide and her mother was on very high doses of these meds. It hadn’t been linked to the meds but she had been fine before going on them.

So, yes, my theory is that the chronic pain definitely makes us more susceptible to these kinds of thoughts, but these drugs, these brain-chemical-changing drugs, can really be what pushes us over the edge.

Doctors need to be making ALL patients aware of these possible side effects, but more importantly, all patients’ support systems – husbands, wives, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, best friends, etc. – need to be aware of these side effects. They come on so subtly that when you’re in the moment you don’t realize what is going on. My husband noticed but didn’t understand it. Now he knows; now he knows what to look for and what to do before I ever reach that place.

So I leave you with this question: what do you do when you have to make the choice between physical health/being pain-free, and mental health? Which becomes more important? Is it worth the risk and possible sacrifice of mental sensibilities in order to have less pain and a bit more physical ability?

Random Musings and an Imagine Dragons video

michikins — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 19:50:49 GMT

So, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve done any *real* blogging. I’ve been so stupidly busy it’s not even funny. Uggh! I’m still doing the music thing, hitting up as many concerts as I can. My body just doesn’t want to cooperate nearly as much these days. I did a three-concerts-in-four-days of Imagine Dragons shows back at the end of April that destroyed my left knee (well, okay, in fairness it wasn’t the concerts that did it – the cartilage has been grinding away into nothing for awhile – but the shows aggravated it to the point of desperately seeking medical attention) and now my kidneys aren’t so happy, either. Ah well… such is life with Lupus, eh?</p>

Anyway, my lovely friends in Imagine Dragons recorded this awesome acoustic version of their song It’s Time for MTV PUSH and I had to share it here. Maybe I’ll even pull my head out of my rear and post more. I just don’t want them to all be whiny posts, ya know? So, anyway, I will leave you with this lovely version of It’s Time, officially off of their latest EP release Continued Silence, though originally from their 3rd EP of the same name, It’s Time. Enjoy!

Get More: Imagine Dragons, It’s Time (Live), Music, More Music Videos

Celtic Mythology – December

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:04:25 GMT

Three paths to healing:

An open mind,

An open heart,

And a willingness to follow where they lead.

– Celtic Folk Triad

The Yule Tree

The Yule Tree, whose sacred evergreen foliage was venerated as the symbol of eternal life by the Celtic Druids and in Scandinavian folklore, is traditionally decorated with candles or lights on the Winter Solstice, December 22 – the shortest day and longest night of the year. Fire is an elemental and deeply spiritual symbol, purifying, cleansing, and illuminating the darkness. We still decorate the Christmas Tree, or Yule Tree, with lights that represent hope for the sun’s return, celebrating the light within the darkness and the rebirth of the new year.

Celtic Holidays in December

Winter Solstice – December 22

Yule – December 22

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – November

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 23:00:37 GMT

Manawyddan

The Celts have an ancient lore and wisdom tradition reaching deep under the green waters of the Land of Manawyddan ap Llyr. King of the Oceans, son of the Sea God, Llyr, Manawyddan is Guardian of the Blessed Isles; a master of humor, wit, and wisdom; and a weaver of illusion and magic. He rides upon the seas in a golden chariot with a helmet made of flames and a cloak that renders him invisible. He is the lord of storms and a master magician, possessing the fabulous crane-bag, holder of all his treasures, including language.

Celtic Holidays in November

Feast of Saint Andrew (Patron Saint of Scotland) – November 30

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – October

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:57:10 GMT

Three waters that rejuvenate the soul:

Tears of Joy,

Sweat of the plow,

Fresh Spring rain.

– Celtic Folk Triad

Epona

Epona is the White Mare Horse Goddess. She has been known by many names – Rhiannon (Wales), as well as Macha and Etain (Ireland). The horse was of tremendous importance to the early nomadic Celts, a major symbol of energy, power, and fertility. In the eleventh century, Irish kings were still symbolically united with a white mare, which represented the land whose fertility was assured by her union with the mortal king. The horse also symbolizes the soul’s journey to the Otherworld and the Underworld.

Celtic Holidays in October

Samhain – October 31

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – September

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:52:00 GMT

Druid’s Egg

Many world mythologies speak of a cosmic egg – symbol of the primeval universe – or the Great Mother who created it. Orphics said Mother Night, the Great Goddess of Darkness, first birthed the World Egg, which was identified with the moon. The Druid’s Egg (also known as the serpent’s egg or snake stone) was an object that had powerful mystical properties. Immense magical power and wisdom were believed to be gained by the possessor of the Druid’s Egg, although few have ever seen one.

Celtic Holidays in September

Mabon – September 22

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – August

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:48:12 GMT

Triskele

The Triskele is a three-legged pattern sacred to the Celts, who used a triple cycle for the seasons and for many magical symbols and ritual blessings. Spiral patterns are among the most sacred signs of Neolithic Europe, strongly associated with the rhythms of death and rebirth. Spirals are the design of nature, of our universe. Snail shells, water whirls, star systems – our very DNA is patterned in the sacred spiral thumbprint of life, the Spiral Dance.

Celtic Holidays in August

Lughnasa – August 1

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – July

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:43:48 GMT

Three things forged in fire:

A seed in the ground,

A babe in the belly,

A song from the soul of a poet.

– Celtic Folk Triad

Lleu / Lugh / Lugus

Lleu (Welsh) / Lugh (Old Irish) / Lugus (Gaulish) is also known as the Bright Shining One. Many gods and goddesses embodied the divine qualities of the sun: life, light, inspiration, and strength. Two of the main solar divinities are Sulis and Lleu, and the four great Celtic festivals – Samhain, Imbolc, Beltane, and Lughnasa – were perhaps markers of the solar year, with the Beltane fires signaling the sun’s return.

Celtic Holidays in July

Feast of Saint Anne (Patron Saint of Brittany)

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – June

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:35:11 GMT

Taliesin

Taliesin is both a mythical figure and a sixth-century Welsh poet. In the medieval Welsh tales of The Mabinogi, Taliesin is a shape changer who is pursued by the Goddess Ceridwen. Taliesin changes shape from hare to salmon to crow and finally into a grain of corn. Ceridwen, who has shape-changed herself into a hen, swallows the grain of corn. Ritually reborn and then cast out upon the elements of the ocean, Taliesin is found in the sacred salmon weir. He is transformed through rebirth in the waters of spirit into the great magician, shaman, and prophet to channel the gift of the arts and inspiration into the world.

Celtic Holidays in June

Feast of Saint Columba (Patron Saint of Scotland) – June 9

Summer Solstice – June 20

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – May

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:29:23 GMT

Tân

Tân is the Welsh word for Fire. Fire is the divine spark of God – a gift of life and wamrth, inspiration and light. The dance of fire is poetic and divine, while the arousal of inner fire ignites mystical passion and is a metaphor for burning love. Fire is a supernatural force that can blaze brightly or devour ravenously. Just as the rich ash of the burnt fields fertilizes the soil, fire sparks the life within the seed, leading to germination. Brigid, revered Christian Saint and Pagan Goddess of healing, poetry, smithcraft, and prophecy, was the Keeper of the Flame.

Celtic Holidays in May

Beltane – May 1

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – April

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:23:57 GMT

Sheela-na-gig

Sheela-na-gig is remembered in Ireland as the Old Woman Creatress who gave birth to all races of men. Sheela is the sacred crone, the wise woman who holds the power of passage, the mysteries of death, and the mysteries of rebirth. Sheela is a strong and primal symbol of female energy. She has continued to resonate in folk memory as an important figure despite being labeled obscene in later, more prudish times. The curious stone figures found in Irish, Scottish, English, and French medieval churches and castles are Sheela-na-gigs.

Celtic Holidays in April

Feast of Saint Maughold (Patron Saint of the Isle of Man) – April 27

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Celtic Mythology – March

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:19:13 GMT

Every Earthly Blessing

I arise today,

Through the strength of heaven,

Light of sun,

Radiance of moon,

Splendor of fire,

Speed of lightning,

Swiftness of wind,

Depth of sea,

Stability of earth,

Firmness of rock.

–Saint Patrick

The Deer’s Cry is a powerful prayer, attributed to Saint Patrick in the fourth century, although it probably originated some time after him. Also known as Faeth Fiada – The Lorica, it is written in the Old Irish lyric style – resonating as a druidic incantation. This verse, “I arise today,” exemplifies the deep spritiual resonance of the power of nature for the early Celtic Christians, who understood the inherent philosophy of grace within nature on a deeply personal level.

Celtic Holidays in March

Feast of Saint David (Patron Saint of Wales) – March 1

Feast of Saint Piran (Patron Saint of Cornwall) – March 5

Saint Patrick’s Day – March 17

Ostara – March 20

Celtic Mythology – February

michikins — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:53:25 GMT

Cwn Annwn – Hounds of Annwn

The Hounds of Annwn are a pack of red-eared snow-white spectral hounds from the Celtic Otherworld, Annwn. In Welsh folklore, Arawn, Lord of Annwn, rides with his pack of hounds through the skies. The Hounds of Annwn haunt the fringes of this world and are feared to be the Hell Hounds whose baying is heard on the howling winds.

(Anyone else see similarities in the names to both Tolkien and Jordan?)

Celtic Holidays in February:

Feast of Saint Brigid – February 1

Imbolc – February 1

Pumpkin Pie Crescent Rolls

michikins — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 18:35:08 GMT

The idea for these came from my lovely Twitter friend Krista2theMax. I will post her original recipe at the end of the post but first I will post my tweaked version. Both recipes were good, I just like to tweak things around.

These are so tasty and are like little individual pumpkin pies in finger-food form. What could be better, eh?

Yield: 32 mini croissants

Ingredients:

2 tubes of refrigerated crescent rolls

1/2 block of cream cheese

1 cup of canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)

1 tablespoon of pumpkin pie spice

4 tablespoons sugar

Directions:

Unroll both tubes of refrigerated crescent rolls. Cut each triangle lengthwise in 2.

Mix together the cream cheese along with the pumpkin until fluffy and creamy.

Each croissant will get a full tablespoon of the pumpkin pie filling.

Mix together 4 tablespoons of sugar along with 1 tablespoon of pumpkin pie spice and top each pumpkin pie croissant with the spice mixture.

Arrange each filled pumpkin pie croissant on a nonstick cookie sheet.

Bake at 375 degrees for 15-18 minutes. Let cool and enjoy.

Krista’s Original Recipe

Ingredients:

2 cans crecent rolls

1/2 block cream cheese

1 regular can of pumpkin pie mix

granulated sugar

cinnamon

Directions:

Spread mixture into crescent rolls evenly.

Roll up the crescent rolls as normal.

Roll in cinnamon and sugar mixture.

Bake for 8-10 minutes at 375°F

Pillsbury Grands Biscuits Knock-off

michikins — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:55:04 GMT

Fairy Biscuits

Ingredients:

1/2 cup shortening

1 cup warm water (divided)

2 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp salt

2 1/4 tsp yeast OR 1 packet

1 egg

3 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

Directions:

Melt shortening in 3/4 cup warm water.

Add sugar and salt.

Cool.

Dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup warm water.

Add slightly beaten egg to yeast.

Stir into shortening mixture.

Add flour and baking powder.

Stir.

Roll out on board and cut out.

Put in a greased pan.

Cover and let rise 1/2 hour.

Bake at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes.

Originally published at Falling Into My Own Sarchasm

Falling into my own sarchasm...

Thea Kristine May Quote on Positive Thinking

Thea Kristine May Quote on Positive Thinking

Allan Rufus Quote on Positive Thinking

Abraham Lincoln Quote on Positive Thinking

Stephen King Quote on Positive Thinking

I desperately need your help (no money involved)!

10 Facts You May Not Know About Lupus

Fact #1

Fact #2

Fact #3

Fact #4

Fact #5

Fact #6

Fact #7

Fact #8

Fact #9

Fact #10

In Conclusion

Simply Smoothies – Pomegranate banana

Ingredients:

Directions:

Simply Smoothies – Orange berry blend

Ingredients:

Directions:

Simply Smoothies – An Overview

National Suicide Prevention Week

Related Links

I hope you never need any of the above links, for either yourself or your friends/loved ones, but if you do, please know that there IS help out there. Also, please feel free to contact me. I’m happy to talk to anyone, even if it’s just to lend an ear or a shoulder.

Random Musings and an Imagine Dragons video

Celtic Mythology – December

The Yule Tree

Celtic Holidays in December

Celtic Mythology – November

Manawyddan

Celtic Holidays in November

Celtic Mythology – October

Epona

Celtic Holidays in October

Celtic Mythology – September

Druid’s Egg

Celtic Holidays in September

Celtic Mythology – August

Triskele

Celtic Holidays in August

Celtic Mythology – July

Lleu / Lugh / Lugus

Celtic Holidays in July

Celtic Mythology – June

Taliesin

Celtic Holidays in June

Celtic Mythology – May

Tân

Celtic Holidays in May

Celtic Mythology – April

Sheela-na-gig

Celtic Holidays in April

Celtic Mythology – March

Every Earthly Blessing

Celtic Holidays in March

Celtic Mythology – February

Cwn Annwn – Hounds of Annwn

Celtic Holidays in February:

Pumpkin Pie Crescent Rolls

Pillsbury Grands Biscuits Knock-off