Falling On A Bruise

Special Guest Blogger: Luke Howard

2026-05-06T00:30:00.010+01:00

If you’ve ever stared up at a sky that looked suspiciously like an elephant or a fluffy cat and wondered, What on earth is that?, then you’ve already taken the first step on the path that led me to my modest claim to fame as the Cloud Whisperer.
You see before 1803 we would speak of high-altitude, flattened, elongated vaporous formations but after my 'On The Modification of Clouds', new, snappier Latin names became the norm.
I began life as a Pharmacist in Tottenham and spent most of my days grinding powders and selling cure-alls that smelled faintly of Cinnamon but despite the sweet scent of medicinal herbs and the clang of glass bottles, I was fascinated by looking out of the large window at the changing amorphous blobs outside and wondered if they could be described, categorised and perhaps even named and this was the genius part.
Scribbling furiously on scraps of paper, I noted there were three main types of clouds and each was at a different height so we have a low fluffy, mid layered and high whispy clouds and using my basic grasp of Latin to describe them, called them Cumulus (Heaped), Stratus (sheet) and Cirrus (Curl) which sounded much more refined than fluffy thing or grey smudge.
Noting that each cloud type could be higher and lower than normal, i then went with sub-naming the cloud types by mashing them together so a Stratus Cloud that was low was a StratoCumulus and a Cumulus Cloud that was high was a Cirroculumlus or a Stratus Cloud that was high was a Cirrostratus. You get the idea and i then threw Nimbus (Latin for Rain) into the equation so any cloud that has rain coming from it, you can have Nimbostratus or Cumulonimbus.
I wrote it all down and submitted the short paper to Philosophical Transactions and not only was it accepted by my cloud name became the official terminology.
Beyond cloud naming, I dabbled in a few other endeavors that may or may not have earned me the occasional look of admiration from my peers such as recording rainfall for a full year in a specially made utensil and showing that rain fell most often in October and my 'Thermal-Stack Theory' which showed that heat rising from London’s industries creating the distinctive stratocumulus formations we saw over the Thames and proved we could therefore actually influence the sky.
My fame grew when Goethe wrote a series of poems about me and my clouds and Constable dedicated to me a whole year of painting nothing but skies.
The things about clouds are that they’re universally visible. No matter where you travel, be it the bustling streets of London, the rolling hills of the Cotswolds, or the far-flung colonies of the East, everyone looks up and sees the same sky with a now shared language for clouds.
They’re beautiful, absurd, and free. You can’t own a cloud, you can’t control it, but you can certainly enjoy it and Tottenham Hostspurs honoured me by naming two high-level viewing areas in their new stadium, Stratus East and Stratus West, but from recent seasons, looking up at the sky in these areas rather than down towards the pitch would be much more enjoyable.

Claim And Counterclaim Over Strait Blockade

2026-05-04T15:15:00.001+01:00

So how did we get here? More than 850 ships and 20,000 sailors are estimated to be trapped in the Gulf since the US and Israel launched their attack on Iran on 28 February and Iran imposed a blockade on foreign shipping using the strait of Hormuz soon afterwards and Trump imposed a counter-blockade of ships using Iranian ports on 13 April.
A Pakistani-brokered ceasefire stopped hostilities but failed to open the Strait and last night the US outlined a plan to guide ships out of the Strait of Hormuz stating it was: 'An humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern countries but, in particular, the country of Iran' although the question was whether it was being done with Iran’s consent or taking place over their heads.
We got the answer this morning when a statement read on Iranian State TV said the strait was: 'Under the control of the armed forces of the Islamic Republic of Iran' and went on to warn: 'Any foreign armed forces, especially the aggressive U.S. military, that intends to approach or enter the Strait of Hormuz will be targeted' and then news that two tankers, a UAE and South Korean vessels, have been struck with drones.
Trump has threatened to deal forcefully with any interference with the operation and Iran has since claimed to have fired two missiles at an American warship which forced it to retreat and flee the area which has been denied by a US official's so claim and counterclaim but it very much has the potential to become a very dangerous flashpoint and bring both nations back into direct military confrontation.

Hard To Not Dislike Israel

2026-05-04T14:25:00.008+01:00

I get tired of pointing out that Israel and Judaism are two very different things and the two should not be conflated but unfortunately many do which is why we saw scenes such as those in London last week when two obviously Jewish men were stabbed and had many Jews complaining that they do not feel safe in Britain.
When the Government said that they would suspend the Pro-Palestine Marches they are guilty of conflating two separate issues although i have been to some of the marches and the rhetoric does range from people peacefully protesting the ongoing Genocide by Israel in Gaza to pure antisemitism
which seems to unite some on the left and the right bizarrely.
We can argue whether it is right to stop the rights of thousands protesting because of a small minority with an intelligence which matches their shoe size but it does open the Government up to accusations of siding with a nation run by a wanted War Criminal who is actually committing a Genocide as we watch but that is for them to decide, i would go with more policing and hauling out any moron who waves an antisemitism banner who shouts out anti Jewish slogans myself rather than ban them but Israel has always had much to answer for and I can't see it getting any better.
Annoyingly, i have to give credit to Piers Morgan for a recent interview with Israeli Politician, Daniella Weiss, which summed up just why the problem with Israel is not going away anytime soon.
in his Interview for his show this week, Piers Morgan Uncensored, he asked her how she felt about over 20,000 Palestinian children being killed since October the 7th in Gaza and it quickly spiraled into this:

DW: I said Palestinians, the Gazans, and all Arabs around should stop attacking Israel.
PM: I just asked you how you felt about 20,000 children being killed by the IDF. How do you feel about that?
DW: I think that that the parents should be very careful before they teach the their children to hate Jews and to kill Jews.
PM: That wasn't my question. My question was, how do you personally feel about over 20,000
Palestinian children now being killed since October the 7th in Gaza? How do you feel about that?
DW: I think that Arabs, Gazans or Jordanians or Syrians, whoever should be very very careful with the way they educate the children.
PM: That wasn't my question. Can you answer my question?
DW: That was my answer.
PM: You don't care? You have no thoughts about these children at all?
DW: You choose your questions and I answer them the way I believe is right.
PM: Just to be clear, you have nothing to say about 20,000 children being killed? Nothing at all.
DW: I have a lot to say about everything that happened as a result of the massacre of the seventh.
PM: Now I understand you care about Israeli children who died as do I. But I'm able to care about both sides of children who've died. Why don't you care seemingly about the Palestinian children who've died? Why can't you express any sympathy or sorrow or empathy with the children who've died in Gaza? Are you able to do that?
DW: I warn all Arabs from all sides, from all borders, stop educating children to hate.
PM: So, just to be clear, I've now offered you three times.
DW: I made myself very clear.
PM: Oh, you've made yourself very clear
DW: You asked me five times.
PM: I'm going to give you one last chance to offer some empathy or sympathy or sorrow about the deaths of 20,000 children in Gaza. Are you capable of doing that?
DW: I can tell you that had you cared and I don't believe you that that you care a tiny bit about one killed person if you do not use the means that you have as a media person to stop educating children.
PM: I gave you four chances.
DW: You gave me seven.
PM: You couldn't give a damn, could you? You couldn't give a damn. You don't care. And all you want is all the Palestinians gone. You can barely even bring yourself to say their name. All you want is to take over the West Bank and Gaza. You don't care how many die in the process. You want them all gone. You don't care, do you? That's the bottom line.
DW: As you said, the audience will judge.
PM: Yeah, they will.

With people like this in the Israeli Government, whose solution seems to be for people to just stop hating Israel, i cannot see how that is possible when they have killed a minimum of 80,000 people which means there are now the families of all these who have a reason to hate Israel, ask yourself if the military of another nation invaded your country, killed your family and demolished your house, wouldn't you feel immense animosity towards them?
How can a people feel anything but hatred towards a nation which has committed a genocide against them and stolen their land for over 80 years? It's a vicious cycle which isn't being helped by the current crop of Israeli smug idiots, morons and simpletons like Netanyahu and Weiss who do not give a damn about the death and destruction they are imparting on other humans in Gaza and the West Bank, imparting so they can steal and take over their land for themselves.
Hamas were wrong for what they have done and have been rightly castigated for it but then so is Israel and we should show sympathy, empathy and utter horror at the numbers killed on both sides but it is near impossible for Gazan's to suddenly stop hating the very nation who have done this and continue to do this to them even during a so called ceasefire which is why even if the killing stopped tomorrow, the legacy will continue and Jews around the World will sadly, and very wrongly, continue to suffer.

The Ever Expanding Trump Waistline

2026-05-04T13:30:00.001+01:00

I wasn't sure if it was just me who thought it but then i saw posts on Facebook which seems to point out that Trump is getting even fatter than he used to be.
It has always been with his stupid hair, strange orange skin, childish temper tantrums, warmongering, blatant lying, small ~~penis~~ hands and being a sex pest and (probable) pedophile, his morbidly obese weight doesn't get that much attention but i have long been championing the fact that at 244lbs, 17.4 stone or 110kg with a Body Mass Index over 30 which makes him officially a lardarse (medical term), he is the third fattest President ever to sit his wide load behind the Oval Office desk.
American's are obviously okay with having a President who looks like he would definitely steal chips off your plate when your back’s turned but looking at the recent pictures, 244lbs is optimistic but let's go with that figure which means he is still the third fattest US President after 340 pounds or 24 stones of William Taft who was so large he once got stuck in the presidential bathtub, followed by Grover Cleveland who broke the scales at 280 pounds or 20 stones.
Although he has a long way to go to catch up with the Tubby Taft, if we suspend sense and take the 17.4 stone figure as true, Cleveland is an achievable 3 stone away and if he keeps tucking into the burgers and cola's like he does, then he may be able to add second fattest President to his already impressive CV of firsts including dumbest in front of George W Bush and most perverted ahead of John F Kennedy.
Now i'm not medically trained but i would hazard a guess it's down to him binging on fast food and drinking up to a dozen Cokes a day while following an exercise regime which includes lifting Big Mac's to his mouth as to why he looks like a human shaped wad of cholesterol which has come to life to wreak havoc on the people of own nation.
While there is much speculation about his general health, most of which seems to range from a rapid decline into dementia to him keeling over and clutching his chest at any moment, i for one support Trump's appetite to make the America President not fit into its trousers again because either his waistline continues to expand to Taft proportions or his arteries decide they have had enough and pack up, but i am confident that he has the stomach for a fight even though he has much on his plate and it is an achievement i am backing him for, larger bathtub not withstanding. Go Chubby!!!!

Last Chance For Labour

2026-05-04T01:00:00.001+01:00

I will make a prediction and that is that this weeks Local Elections on Thursdays will see the incumbent Labour Party get a Royal Shellacking and it will spell the end of Keir Starmer who will be replaced by either Angela Raynor, Wes Streeting, Andy Burnham or Ed Miliband but each comes with baggage so it's going to be a scrap for either of them.
After arriving with a massive majority of 174, the Labour Party could literally get anything through the Commons but Starmer has been far too cautious and has squandered his opportunity and unless things change drastically, they could find themselves back out of power again after the next election but not swapping places wituh the Conservatives as usually happens, because Britain seems to have become a multi party democracy.
In what is beginning to look like a fragmented multi-party system, five parties now poll at meaningful national levels, Labour, the Conservatives, Reform, the Lib Dems and the Greens and that is alongside the SNP in Scotland and Plaid Cymru in Wales.
Curiously what polls show is that combined support for left-leaning parties (Labour, the Lib Dems and the Greens) stand at between 43% and 47% since the last election while the right-leaning bloc (the Conservatives and Reform) has hovered between 44% and 49% so it isn't left and right leaning voters switching ideology, they are shifting within their ideology meaning that the overall balance of left and right doesn’t hugely change.
At the last election the Conservative vote left in droves to switch to Reform while the switch from Labour has gone to the Greens and Lib Dems which immediately puts them at a disadvantage as the 43%-47% is split 3 ways while the right wing 44%-49% is split between two.
Unless Labour, The Greens or Lib Dems can coalesce the left under their own banner, Reform will probably sneak through by default because they do seem to have done a good job of attracting the former Conservative voters to their side and leaving Conservative Party flapping in the wind but one thing the left do have great success with is tactical voting which may yet save us from the disaster that would be suffering under a Prime Minister Nigel Farage but that is for the next election, this Thursday is going to see Labour get a thumping and one final chance to get it right under another, more Labour Party, leader.

Special Guest Blogger: Lord Henry Darnley

2026-05-04T00:30:00.011+01:00

Ah, Retrospective. How quaint you are. Sitting up there on your high horses judging us poor Tudor souls for our dramatic exits and questionable life choices. Let me say this plainly: if you’d lived through what I did, you'd have died too. Probably sooner.
To some i was that husband Mary, Queen of Scots had before the really interesting one, the one who was murdered, blown up in a house which was quite theatrical, if I do say so. A shame I wasn’t awake to appreciate it. Or present for the aftermath. Or, you know, breathing.
It all began with my birth like most lives but i was a great-grandson of Henry VII on my mother’s side and i grew up to be a strapping six footer with the chestnut, flowing hair of a Renaissance painting and oh how I danced!
I arrived in Scotland in 1561 like a dashing, slightly sweaty knight in satin hose. Mary, my cousin and Scotland’s queen, was newly widowed and in need of a husband. And a baby. And possibly a good chat. I brought two out of three. The third? Let’s just say I wasn’t the greatest listener.
We married in 1565. A match made in heaven or possibly in the fevered scheming of various European nobles who thought uniting two claimants to the English throne under one roof sounded like solid diplomacy but it turned out to be more like stuffing a mongoose and a snake into a velvet sack and leaving them to get along.
At first, all was well. Mary adored me. I adored myself. We had a son (James—later King James VI of Scotland and, amusingly, James I of England). I strutted. I preened. I demanded the Crown Matrimonial, which would’ve made me co-ruler. Mary said no. I pouted. I threw tantrums that would embarrass a toddler denied his pudding.
Then came Rizzio, Mary’s private secretary, friend, and confidant but most importantly someone not me who enjoyed the queen’s attention. I admit, I may have taken out my jealousy in the most dramatic form possible, conspiring to have the man murdered in front of the pregnant queen. Yes. That happened. In a small room. With knives. While Mary watched. Not my best look.
Things went downhill faster than a Scotsman on ice skates. Mary, understandably cross about the whole bloody murder in my dining room incident, distanced herself. I responded by getting even more sulkier. I took to my bed with some mysterious illness and became less of a king-consort and more of a lavishly dressed invalid hiding in his bedroom.
Then, on the night of February 9th, 1567, I was staying at the Kirk o’ Field, a modest house just outside Edinburgh. Mary had gone to visit her friend. I stayed behind to have a good sulk and plotting my next temper tantrum when boom. The house exploded.
I wasn’t even killed by the blast. I was found in the garden, strangled. So, someone went to all the trouble of rigging explosives to presumably to make it look like an accident only to then manually have to throttle me.
To this day, historians can’t agree who did it. Was it Mary? (tragic queen, beheaded, romantic but unlikely), Elizabeth I of England (Virgin Queen, patron of the arts, destroyer of Spanish fleets but doubtful) Mary's future husband, Bothwell? (dashing villain, accused of everything so probably) or was it simply the universe’s way of saying, i had worn out my welcome?
I did leave behind a son who united two crowns which further serves as a cautionary tale about marrying your own cousin and never trusting a Scot with a match near your bedroom.

Welcome To The EU Canada

2026-05-03T01:00:00.014+01:00

It is the pure bad luck of geography that Canada finds itself a neighbour of the United States while the nutty right wing facists are in control and unless the tectonic plates are going into overdrive soon, there is nothing they can do about it but they have been making eyes at the EU recently and the EU have been winking and playing footsie straight back at them.
With the sex pest (probable) pedophile in the White House handing out tariffs and generally treating Canada the same way as he does Moscow Hotel mattresses, last month, France’s foreign minister Jean-Noël Barrot floated the idea that Canada could one day join the European Union, with Finnish president Alexander Stubb likewise suggesting to Canadian prime minister Mark Carney that he should think about joining the EU.
In a February 2026 poll conducted by Abacus Data it found that 48% of Canadians support Canada becoming a member of the EU and that the feeling is reciprocated on our side of the Atlantic with the five largest EU member states, France, Germany, Italy, Poland and Spain, all saying that they would support admitting Canada to the European Union.
The most obvious obstacle to Canadian accession to the EU is geography and Article 49 of the Treaty on European Union limits membership to 'European states' which is a problem for a North American country.
That said Canada does have partnerships with the EU such as the Comprehensive Economic and Trade Agreement (CETA) which lowers tariffs, expands market access and created mechanisms for regulatory cooperation and investment protection and there are nations outside of the EU (Norway, Iceland, Switzerland and to some degree the UK) who have treaties signed with the EU so things are possible outside of actual membership.
Another option could be to expand the Strategic Partnership Agreement (SPA) between Canada and the EU which was signed in 2016, and was designed to 'deepen and broaden bilateral cooperation on a wide range of issues such as international peace and security, counter-terrorism, human rights and nuclear non-proliferation, clean energy and climate change, migration and peaceful pluralism, sustainable development, and innovation'.
Obviously opening the EU up to nations outside of Europe could be a sore point and bring all sorts of problems but i'd be open to it, just as long as it doesn't give them a free pass to the Eurovision Song Contest, that would be a step too far for the nation that gave us Bryan Adams and Justin Bieber.

Why Nuclear Power At All?

2026-05-02T21:15:00.001+01:00

When it comes to Nuclear Power, i am very much undecided as on the one hand it is clean energy compared to fossil fuels but then it does create waste which remains dangerous for tens of thousands of years and if their is an accident at the plants...all out disaster, the Chernobyl nuclear disaster in 1986 spread radiation across Europe and substantial parts of Belarus and Ukraine are still cordoned off today.
A poll by YouGov 40 years on from the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, shows that i am not the only one with Britons divided on whether nuclear energy is safe.
The Government have recently given the green light to a new power station in Anglesey but around half of Brits (51%) generally support the use of nuclear power with 37% saying we should actively be getting more of its energy from nuclear with 23% believing the UK should reduce the amount of electricity it gets from nuclear energy.
The big take away is that nuclear has fewer enthusiasts than renewable energy sources with 55% wanting the UK to get more of its energy from onshore wind, 63% favouring more energy from bio-fuel and geothermal sources, 67% wanting more offshore wind or hydro-electric power, and 73% backing more electricity being generated through tidal and solar power.
As the Chernobyl disaster demonstrated, nuclear power stations do have the potential to go very badly wrong and 45% believe that today's nuclear energy is typically safe and it may well be but the highly toxic waste, currently we have 4.58 million cubic meters, enough to fill Wembley, which we are struggling to deal with (currently it is in storage while trying to develop a long-term solution to bury it) which has a half life ranging between decades and 100,000 years so until that problem is sorted, generating even more seems we are merely switching a problem of polluting the air to polluting the ground.
Why we are not putting as much money and resources into renewable sources as we do nuclear is a question for the politicians but it does seem madness to be looking at a nuclear answer when ramping up the much cleaner and safer wind, solar and tidal power is the obvious solution.

Special Guest Blogger: Marcus Junius Brutus

2026-05-02T00:30:00.008+01:00

Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed followers of Roman scandal, i'm the man history remembers as the guy who stabbed his best friend for the greater good.
My life was a tragicomic romp through power, betrayal, and the eternal struggle to outwit a man who clearly needed to learn the meaning of the word moderation.
My family name was as esteemed as a boiled asparagus as in it was rare, revered, and occasionally stabbed with a fork. The Brutus's were Rome’s answer to a well-tailored toga as we were conservative, respectable, and slightly stiff at dinner parties. My ancestors could have founded a bank, but instead, they opted for the more dramatic career of assassination conspiracy starters. (My great-uncle once poisoned a rival by hiding poison in a fig).
Growing up, I was drilled with the virtues of libertas or freedom and the necessity of looking very solemn in public portraits. I mastered the art of the deadpan stare by age 12 which set the stage for my most esteemed career choice: political theater.
Now, let’s talk about the man I’ll forever be linked to, Julius Caesar. A brilliant general? Undoubtedly. A master of self-promotion? Beyond reproach but by the time Caesar returned to Rome, he was as popular as a chariot salesman at a gladiator’s birthday party.
My problem with Caesar was he had the ego of a man who’d just been anointed by Zeus himself and he was exhausting. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve sent him a strongly worded letter but instead, I joined a stabbing circle.
Assassinating a leader is never a decision to make lightly or, you know, at all. But there we were, a ragtag group of senators with more spears than sense, plotting in the shadow of Caesar’s growing tyranny.
The day of the assassination was a masterclass in chaos. I arrived at the Senate with a heart full of conviction and a sleeve full of daggers. Caesar, ever the drama queen, walked in looking suspiciously unimpressed by the 40-something men lurking in togas. When I finally plunged my blade into his back, he muttered, 'Et tu, Brute?' which is a line that would later be overquoted by Shakespearean actors.
So was I the good guy who did it for Rome or the bad guy who betrayed his best mate but in my defence Caesar was a terrible leader although after Caesar’s death, things unraveled. Antony, our friend’s rival, turned the people against me with a speech that made me sound like the villain and i fled to Greece, raised an army, and faced Antony at the Battle of Philippi.
Spoiler: I lost. Spectacularly and my final moments were a mix of dignity, bad swordsmanship, and a truly dreadful last speech. I’d scripted something inspiring about liberty and legacy, but I died with my head held high, especially when it was cut off and held up for the baying crowd to see.

Europe Celebrating

2026-05-01T15:30:00.003+01:00

Donald Trump: Those European countries are absolutely horrible to refuse to support our war in Iran so I'm going to withdraw US troops from Europe.
Europe: Woo Hoo.
Donald Trump: I mean it, no more US Troops in Europe.
Europe: We heard. Very sad, boo hoo, so do you need a hand packing?
Donald Trump: Do you understand what that means?
Europe: Yep, hey Macron, got the Champagne?
Donald Trump: I'm not joking.
Europe: Are you still here?
Donald Trump: If you won't help me in my war why should we have Troops there?
Europe: Good point, so you promise not to come back? No crossed fingers or anything?
Donald Trump: No, gone forever.
Europe: And you are promising that? You don't have a great reputation for telling the truth you know.
Donald Trump: I swear it.
Europe: Result!! So long, farewell Auf Wiederseh'n, adieu
Donald Trump: <silence>
Europe: Has he gone or just fallen asleep again?
Donald Trump: <silence>
Europe: Frederiksen, Macron, Merz, Meloni, Sánchez, grab a bottle and head to Downing Street. Its Party Time!!!!

Antidisestablishmentarianism

2026-05-01T15:10:00.001+01:00

The Church of England is the established state church, with King Charles III as its Supreme Governor and 26 bishops sitting in the House of Lords so there is a close relationship with the state which means that as an establishment, the state can withdrawal it's recognition known as disestablishment which will annoy some churchy types who will try to oppose it which is called antidisestablishmentarianism.
Yep, i had to Google all that but the serious point is that as Church numbers fall to unsustainable levels, why is the Church of England still holding such sway over matters when only a small percentage of us actually pay any attention to it?
So to some antidisestablishmentarianisers (made up word?), they don't believe that establishments such as the CoE should be disestablished but if many of us had our way, we would remove all traces of religion from having any representation with the State which makes them supporting prosestablishmentarianism i guess but whatever, it isn't going to happen so it's all actually floccinaucinihilipilification but at least having a word like antidisestablishmentarianism bandied around annoys the people with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, and that's worth something.

Protest Israel, Not Jews

2026-04-30T17:12:00.007+01:00

Awful knife attacks against two Jews yesterday in Golders Green and Keir Starmer turned up today to pass on his sympathy to the Jewish Community and was heckled and accused the government of failing to keep Jewish people safe.
He replied that the Government will strengthen the visible police presence in Jewish communities and prevent hate preachers from entering our country and speed up sentencing on antisemitic attacks but i don't know what else the Government can do although one
One Jewish community leader says the language used by the media to describe the Middle East conflict had put targets on the Jewish community's back and called for us to be careful with our words, especially using the word 'genocide' to describe what Israel is doing in Gaza conflict.
Unfortunately, what Israel is doing in Gaza IS a genocide so it has to be called what it is, anything else would be disingenuous so we can't just overlook that, have to call it what it is.
According to the Home Office, Jewish people are six times more likely to be the victim of a religious hate crime compared to any other major religious group and most concerningly, religious hate crimes targeting Jewish individuals appear to be on the rise. Between 2021/22 and 2024/25, police forces across England and Wales recorded a 25% increase in these crimes.
One Jewish leader even went as far as blaming Keir Starmer for not joining in the Iran War with America and Israel which flies in the face of the majority of the British Public who back the decision not to get involved.
The problem is, in some minds, Israel and Jews are conflated to mean the same thing and it doesn't help when people like Netanyahu are quick to paint any attack on Israel as antisemitic which it isn't, the demonstrations and protests are against what Israel are doing in the Middle East, nothing to do with Judaism or as tjhe protests against the Iraq and Afghan Wars were not protesting against Christianity because America and Britain were conducting them.
It is somehow breaking the link in the sick minds of some people who are unable to see the difference between the two, that's what the UK Government can do, not ban marches against the Israeli Genocide, it will take some sort of education of the complete difference because until then, this will keep sadly happening.

Iran War Silver Lining

2026-04-30T15:46:00.009+01:00

If anything good is to come out of the Iranian conflict, is that it has focused minds that fossil fuels are not good although we may get to the result through economics rather than because we are destroying our planet.
The United Nations today said that the conflict in Iran has: supercharged the boom in renewable power' and with perfect timing the Automobile Association announced that electric vehicle numbers in Britain have hit a record high of two million amidst a worldwide buying spree and further news that Britons have installed new solar power at the highest monthly rate in 10 years. New electric vehicle sales in March were up 66% in Germany and 69% in France and by 72% in Italy as as the rising cost of petrol highlights the cheaper power available from a plug.
Oil and gas prices have soared as Trump and Netanyahu's disastrous conflict in Iran chokes off about a fifth of global oil supplies and spreads misery.
'Those who've fought to keep the world hooked on fossil fuels are inadvertently supercharging the global renewables boom' the man from the UN said and the energy secretary of the Philippines agreed, saying that the conflict had: 'Accelerated the development of renewable energy and storage is both a strategic necessity and a national imperative and France this week published a national plan to phase out fossil fuels entirely by 2030, oil by 2045 and gas by 2050.
At the world's first-ever conference dedicated to ditching fossil fuels, held in Colombia this week and attended by 56 countries, it was announced that: 'The crisis has accelerated trends that were already underway' and that 'the universal theme is turning away from global energy markets and into regional ones where nations feel they can better guarantee their security' which obviously is a disaster for the Gulf States but then better for the rest of us, so that's fair.

Not An Ai Post

2026-04-30T01:00:00.009+01:00

I was shocked to discover recently a blogger i regularly visit has been using AI to generate their posts and even worse, i didn't realise until they told me. I then found out that many more bloggers are using AI and had me wondering how could we tell?
Long gone are the debates about whether AI can effectively mimic humans, it can and it is getting harder to prove if something was made by a human so how will we ever be sure we are reading something a real person wrote because i really don't want to be going to blogs or reading posts if they are not created by a human, what's the point in that?
Some type of new Turing test would ne nice to prove a machine did all the hard work of writing the post so how can we prove to others in the digital world that you are a human and the content you create is from my own brain and fingertips tapping on a keyboard?
One way is that the machines are almost perfect grammatically and never make mistakes so they won't misspell a word, make a typo or put a punctuation mark in the wrong place so maybe that is where the test is although if you proof-read your own work enough, you will iron out any grammatical errors anyway so it isn't fool-proof.
If a post is too perfect then we could use it as a test of human authenticity so maybe we should throw in a few errors or clunky, awkward sentences or use the wrong homophone but the downside to that is we dumb down to prove we are not a machine which can't be right because nobody should deliberately forget what we spent years in school learning so we must come up with another way, but i'd be buggered if i can think of one.

Special Guest Blogger: Greek Nymph Callisto

2026-04-30T00:30:00.006+01:00

I’m the original, mythological, slightly tragic, and, let’s be honest, profoundly unlucky Callisto. Former nymph, erstwhile companion of Artemis, and eventual celestial real estate (long story).
If Greek mythology were a dinner party I’d be the guest who showed up fashionably late, got accidentally turned into a bear, then flung into the sky by Zeus in a panic move. Literally and metaphorically over my head.
I was a nymph. Not a particularly famous one but a run of the mill woodland nymph just walking through forests looking ethereal, occasionally startling shepherds, and trying not to get turned into a tree.
I joined Artemis’s crew, goddess of the hunt, eternal virgin, and frankly her expectations were high. Total abstinence, zero tolerance for romance, and a strict no-boys-rules which would’ve been fine, if Zeus hadn’t had the self-control of an American at a free gun show.
Zeus disguised himself as Artemis herself to get close to me. Let that sink in. Not as a handsome mortal, not as a swan, not even as a golden shower, no, he went full undercover goddess.
Long story short: deception occurred, I was blessed (cursed?) with a child, and Artemis found out. You’d think she might’ve had a word with Zeus but no. Off I go, transformed into a bear and sent packing into the woods
The life of a bear is not quite the majestic, spiritual experience people imagine and as the years passed. I roamed. I hibernated. I developed a taste for berries and then enter my son, Arcas.
Grown up, hunting in the woods, and entirely unaware that the angry bear charging toward him was his dear old mum. I’d like to say we had a tearful reunion. Instead, we had a near-fatal misunderstanding and a very awkward near-mauling.
Enter Zeus (again). In what can only be described as divine panic, he grabs us both and whoosh, hurls us into the night sky. Literally. No warning. Just you’re both constellations now. Deal with it.
And so, I became Ursa Major which looks like a saucepan with legs so never trust a god in a disguise and if you’re going to be immortalised in the stars, at least insist on a flattering angle but at least i’m literally written in the stars i suppose.

Special Guest Blogger: King Christian VII of Denmark

2026-04-28T00:30:00.018+01:00

One finds oneself with a surprising amount of time for reflection once one is, well, dead. The celestial paperwork is minimal, the duties are non-existent, and the company, is a bit stuffy.
From my vantage point I’ve had the chance to peruse the history books. And I must say, the press I’ve received is simply dreadful. Mad Christian they called me, and The Insane Monarch. So little imagination! So dreadfully blunt. One prefers to think of myself as… unconventional.
It all began, as these things do, with a childhood. My dear mamma, a British princess through and through (which explains my fondness for a decent cup of tea), did her best.
But there’s only so much one can do with a child whose primary interests include climbing curtains, holding conversations with busts of Roman emperors and developing a sudden, inexplicable passion for cobbling. They tried to teach me statecraft. I found it a bore. They attempted to instill in me a sense of gravitas. I found it chaffed. I was a prince, you see, not an accountant. The whole point of being royalty is to avoid such tedious nonsense.
Then came marriage. A splendid way of securing alliances and my dear Queen Caroline Mathilde, was a lovely girl. Rather serious for my tastes, given to a furrowed brow and an alarming interest in philosophy. I did try to engage with her, I truly did. I’d regale her with my latest theories on why sparrows conspire to steal one’s left shoe, but she always seemed preoccupied. A shame.
The real star of my reign, of course, was a chap by the name of Johann Friedrich Struensee. My physician. A terribly ambitious man who meant to be looking after my humours, which, I grant you, were in a state of perpetual disarray. But he got a taste for power, the old boy. He looked at the machinery of the state, then looked at me who was probably trying to teach the court dog to sing sea shanties at the time, and thought, Right. I can do this.
And do it, he did.
Looking back, one has to admire the sheer audacity. Struensee, with the quiet collusion of my dear wife simply took over. He issued decrees, reformed the government, abolished torture, and gave the press entirely too much freedom. All while signing off with, By order of the King.
I was aware of all this obviously. It’s just… why bother? Struensee was far better at it. He enjoyed it, bless him. Why get my hands dirty with budget cuts and agricultural reforms when you can dedicate your time perfecting the art of entering a state banquet by sliding down the banister?
While other monarchs were poring over maps, I was curating a collection of hats so magnificent it would make a peacock weep. While they were debating trade tariffs, I was perfecting my Royal wave.
My later years were, frankly, a relief. After the dramatic fall of Dr. Struensee (a rather messy business involving a drawing and quartering that quite spoiled my appetite), my stepson and various others decided I’d had quite enough fun. I became a figurehead. A magnificent, be-wigged ornament. And it was glorious. Finally, peace and quiet. All the prestige, none of the paperwork. I could spend my days in Rösseldorf castle, happily engaged in shouting at the statues in the garden and demanding my horses be fed chocolate.
My death, when it came, was terribly anticlimactic. A stroke, they said. One moment, I was correcting a footman on the proper polishing method for my snuffbox, and the next… poof. The great curtain call. Rude of the body to give up so suddenly, I thought, but there you have it.

Turbulent Times Ahead

2026-04-27T01:00:00.014+01:00

Climate Change is responsible for many disastrous things but when a friend of mine mentioned to me that she seems to be feeling much more Turbulence when she flies when she used to i wasn't expecting it to be too blame.
In 2024, researchers from the University of Toulouse analysed historical atmospheric models and discovered that the climate conditions that cause severe plane turbulence have been increasing over the past decades, and those conditions are projected to get worse.
Since satellite data collection started 40 years ago, severe turbulence in the North Atlantic has increased by around 55% and the number of turbulence-related injuries since the 1980s have doubled with more hospilisations for broken bones, heart attacks, sprains and spinal injuries
Google states that the technical definition of severe turbulence is any up-and-down movement of a plane that applies a force greater than 1.5 g's to the occupants of the plane when a plane passes through a pocket of variable-density air.
Air turbulence occurs when a plane hits pockets of variable air density around the skies of the jet stream and as global warming heats up the seas and skies near the equator, the temperature differences in the jet stream's lower and higher latitudes become more extreme. Such differences amplify the strength of the jet stream, and, in turn, increase the strength and frequency of its air density.
Not sure if engineers can make changes to a plane to make it less susceptible to turbulence but if not then it has to come down to the computer weather modeling to advise the pilots of areas to avoid although estimates put the current accuracy to forecast unstable air at around 75% of the time.
Karma maybe that the problem is caused by global warming which was helped along by air travel which is a major contributor to global warming in the first place.

Why People Keep Trying To Kill Donald Trump?

2026-04-26T20:29:00.007+01:00

By my reckoning, last night at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner was the 5th attempt to kill Donald Trump but before you have any sympathy for the self-confessed sex pest, warmonger and (probable) pedophile, a quick reminder of the things he have said on the sad demise of other people, on Robert Mueller: 'Good, I’m glad he’s dead' and to the widow of a soldier who had just died, 'He knew what he signed up for' and then there was the time he dismissed military cemeteries as 'filled with losers' and 'suckers' for getting killed while the killing of director Rob Reiner and his wife, Trump suggested Reiner had died from 'Trump Derangement Syndrome' so when someone does finally get a clean shot at him, he shouldn't expect too much sympathy.
We don't need to go into the reasons of why people keep trying to take out the Tango Tyrant, it is obvious that he is the ultimate bell-end but if the White House Correspondents' Association dinner was the fifth, what happened at the other four?
Attempt number one was in 2016 when a 20-year-old British man tried to grab a police officer's gun at a rally in a Las Vegas casino and later said he was trying to kill the then presumptive Republican nominee.
The second was in July 2024 in Pennsylvania when a gunman inexplicably missed the massive blob of the body of the third fattest President and shot him in the ear instead which forced the President to embarrassingly wear a Sanitary Towel on his ear for a week afterwards.
Number three came just two months later in September 2024 when a man hiding in bushes with an AK-47-style rifle attempted to assassinate Mr Trump as he played golf in West Palm Beach, Florida and the fourth in February 2026 when a 21-year old man was shot dead by the Secret Service after trying to unlawfully enter Donald Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida armed with a shotgun and gas canister.
Then came yesterdays attempt and you do have to wonder if in a moment of quiet reflection Donald Trump will sit and ponder on just why people keep trying to kill him and consider changing his ways, or, as is more likely, he will just carry on being a complete dick and rely on his security people bundling him out of harms way. If you answered carry on being a complete dick, well done, you win.

Invoking The 25th

2026-04-26T01:00:00.001+01:00

The 25th Amendment of the US Constitution has been spoken of for quite some time but this is the first time it's gotten any real press as far as I can tell and it is plain to see that he is clearly unhinged, the unhingediest man to ever sit his fat arse in the seat of the Oval Office.
We all know Trump has been doing loads of terrible things this entire time but it seems that threatening to destroy Iranian civilisation was a step to far for some people unlike backing a Genocide, ICE abductions, Trade Wars, ending US Aid, bombing schools, being shown to be a (probable) pedophile in the Epstein Files and arguing with the Pope and depicting himself as Jesus.
Could it be that Trumps implied threat of going nuclear was enough to awaken people to finally do something about the remarkable Orange politician with a record of sexual assault and fraud and is obviously in cognitive decline seems obvious although he has always been a very stupid man with the moral compass and attention span of a brain-damaged whelk who acts like a petulant child when he doesn't get his own way?
The 25th Amendment states that if the Vice President and a majority of the cabinet reckon the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, they can boot him out however they need a two thirds majority vote of the house and the senate and the Republicans will never go for that nor the incompetent, sycophantic useful idiot's in his cabinet who do nothing to restrain his madness.
The whole ball rolling has to start then with JD Vance to save everyone by declaring Trump unfit and replacing him with...checks notes...JD Vance?
Can't see it myself but then i couldn't see the current chaotic, disastrous, exceptionally poor debacle we see today happening either so don't waste good money on betting on the 25th happening, the man is so morbidly obese that a bet on Cholesterol finally doing it's thing instead seems much safer.

Special Guest Blogger: King of Sparta Tyndareus

2026-04-26T00:30:00.011+01:00

I’ve been sitting here for eons, listening to Achilles prattle on about his one tiny heel, while Socrates keeps asking rhetorical questions no one wants answered.
I was born in Sparta, a place where the average citizen is sculpted like a Greek god and my claim to the throne was pure nepotism. Father was Zeus and I inherited the crown not because of any great deeds or divine right, but because Sparta’s version of a royal dynasty was Zeus did it.
My most notable achievement before ascending the throne? Mastering the art of avoiding the plague of infant exposure (yes, Sparta’s famous for leaving unhealthy babies on the side of a hill. Harsh, but effective if you’re into attrition).
I once married a woman named Leda. In my defence, she was a queen, a goddess, and possibly a swan in disguise. It was a match made in Olympus but result was a family tree so convoluted it would make a Game of Thrones fan weep. There was my step-daughter Helen, the face that launched a thousand ships, then Pollux, Castor, and a few other demigods.
My bad luck that the Trojan War happened. Entirely. My fault. You see, I had this little rule: if a suitor wanted to marry Helen, they had to swear an oath to defend her honour forever. A great idea, until 100 men showed up, swore oaths, and then spent three decades sulking in a tent when she got abducted and sparking the Trojan War. My brilliance knew no bounds.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nobody remembers you for your leadership skills, especially if you die in a classic way.
My daughter Clytemnestra’s husband decided to kill me in a fit of poetic justice. I’d raised the lad like a son, only for him to return the favour by stabbing me. I assume he thought it was a Greek tragedy moment, but honestly, I died while reaching out for the cheese board.
The History books mention me as the man murdered by his son-in-law but I wasn’t built for the brutal discipline of Leonidas or the tactical genius of Lysander.
No, I was built for drama and my life was full of irony, murder, and the occasional swan with a lifetime of dodging daggers and died thinking, Maybe I should have just left the kid on the hill.

Not Learning From Last Energy Crisis

2026-04-25T22:30:00.009+01:00

Ever since Benjamin Netanyahu discovered he had a simpleton in the White House and they joined forced to start the Iran War which blocked upo the Strait of Hormuz, we have heard much about the energy crisis in the 1970's but i was more into watching Scooby Doo back then so it passed me by so what did happen back then?
In October 1973, in response to Western support for Israel during the Yom Kippur War, Arab members of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) imposed an oil embargo on all nations aiding Israel which led to severe oil shortages and a significant spike in global oil prices, profoundly impacting economies worldwide.
The crisis triggered stagflation, impacting growth, high inflation and rising unemployment.
The shortage left many homes and schools without heat and some institutions closed during winter months and cities were plunged into darkness during blackouts.
You would have thought that all this would have concentrated minds and ushered in a new age of renewable sources so nations were not so countries were not so dependent on fossil fuels but what Trump's and Netanyahu's foolishness is proving, we never so we can only hope that this time around, we do and ramp up the Solar, tidal and wind power and then we can tell the Middle East to stick their oil where the sun doesn't shine because our power will be coming from where it does.

End Of The World As We Know It

2026-04-25T21:30:00.001+01:00

All the madness from politicians over the past few decades could cause a snowball effect and people start voting for honest caring politicians, corporate capital is restrained, war is ended and humanity lives in peace until the sun dies in billions of years but that doesn't seem very likely because as i wrote here, that once a Civilisation develops a way to end all life on the Planet, it inevitably end up doing exactly that.
Scientists split the demise of the whole damn lot of us into two categories, human-caused (anthropogenic) risks in the near future and inevitable natural events billions of years from now so first the things we can do nothing about and are inevitable.
The Sun will slowly increase in luminosity, making Earth too hot for liquid water which will boil away and the Sun will expand into a red giant, likely consuming the Earth entirely which isn't great but that is up to 5 billion years away.
In the short-term and things we can do something about but stupidly don't is Climate Change and rapid global warming making the planet uninhabitable for humans and most species or a Nuclear War, pandemics through natural or bio-engineered viruses or my personal favourite, a super-intelligent AI going rouge and deciding that all the humans problems are best dealt with by whacking us all.
There are also the threats from outer space which could involve an Asteroid Impact which could eliminate all life and making us the new Dinosaurs or a Gamma-Ray Burst from a Supernova striping the ozone layer and exposing all life on Earth to lethal radiation.
Based on models from the Global Challenges Foundation, researchers at the Future of Humanity Institute and the World Economic Forum the rankings of perceived risks for are pegged at 16% none of us will be around to welcome the next Century but they put the risks for how life will end are 100% for the Sun thing, 30% of pandemic either we made or a natural one, 10% for Ai running amok,Nuclear War 1% and Asteroid Impact 0.0001%.
Hopefully we will make it until the Sun decides to go Supernova but looking at some of the idiotic people making decisions, i wouldn't bet on it.

Social Media Backlash Begins

2026-04-25T20:00:00.001+01:00

Leaded petrol, Chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs), Plastic, Asbestos and Thalidomide were all things which started out as brilliant inventions which later became so dangerous that they had to be removed and Social Media could soon be added to the list as more and more countries deem it too hazardous for children.
Conceived initially to connect people and foster communities, social media’s influence has grown to shape politics, mental health and the spread of misinformation while enabling cyberbullying and social division. Platforms like Facebook and X have become central to political discourse, influencing elections and public opinion while disseminating misinformation has led to public health challenges, as seen during the COVID-19 pandemic, where false information actually hindered effective responses.
I have seen first hand the effect on mental health from cyberbullying and it has got worse since i left the education arena with plenty of studies showing the link between social media use and increased rates of depression and anxiety and not just in adolescents.
Only recently a Californian Court found Meta and YouTube responsible for injuries incurred by a 20-year-old woman over the course of her childhood including injuries, including body dysmorphia and thoughts of self-harm, that it attributed to these platforms and ruked they must pay the woman $6m in damages.
The Court found that it was clear that these companies knew of the addictive qualities of their sites and the potential damage to young people but apparently chose to ignore what was evident to them and their users have paid the price but it is reported that a further eight cases are due to go to trial.
Many countries have recognised these dangers and acted decisively by barring under 16's from using social media platforms and we can only hope that like those other things mentioned, Social Media Platforms will be forced to change and become liable for their actions to make it safer or be consigned to history.

Amen To Churches

2026-04-24T15:00:00.001+01:00

Over the last decade, apparently 3,500 Churches have closed their doors for good due to poor attendant congregations and the decreasing prevalence of Christianity in this country and speaking to members of the clergy, they say that people are not attending church with the same frequency or devotion that they did in previous generations.
As an Atheist, i couldn't give a hoot if I am being honest and have long considered religion as a whole to be thankfully on a downward trajectory but as my fellow Blog Owner regularly pulls on the dog collar and the black smock i should show some sympathy that he may soon be out of work and there isn't much call for someone who can recite Numbers 6:24-26 while tipping water over a babies head, it's a very niche role.
More pressing is the fact that there are 3,500 large empty buildings knocking around and I have seen some turned into Restaurants which admittedly looks very nice while you are having the Full English Breakfast or Vegetable Lasagna but otherwise, not sure what else you can do with them.
Some are very old, the oldest goes back to 600AD which is even before there was an England and the Angles and Saxons were carving up the land so historical importance and admittedly some are very impressive buildings indeed but it doesn't mean we can't keep the shell and do something else which doesn't include passing around a plate to collect money to fix the permanently leaky roof.
The Faith Survey found that UK Church membership has declined from 10.6 million in 1930 to 630,000 today with the biggest falls coming within the Catholic, Anglican, Baptist and Methodist flavours of Christianity and a separate Pew Survey of 65 countries revealed the UK to be one of the world's most irreligious countries, with only 30% of those surveyed identifying as 'religious'.
The consolation for the clergy is that there are still approximately 40,300 church buildings in the UK so at a rate of 350 a year, that's 115 years until the last one closes it's doors for the last time which gives them plenty of time to look for new work where you can dress in black and tell people how to live their lives.

Special Guest Blogger: Liberace

2026-04-24T00:30:00.011+01:00

Ah, darling. You’ve caught me mid-practise. I was just rehearsing a delicate rendition of Fly Me to the Moon on a spectral grand piano I conjured from moonbeams and vintage sequins, but I saw your curious little mouse hovering over my entry and thought, oh, bless their hearts. They clearly need a bit of sparkle in their life. So here I am, Liberace, still fabulous and still flamboyant.
I passed away on January 31st, 1987 from an AIDS related complication. It was a Tuesday, if memory serves and i was mourned in tasteful black (boring, darling), but mostly they argued over who should inherit my rhinestone-studded candelabra.
In the mid 80's AIDS was a misunderstood disease, on my demise my staff burnt all my bathrobes like they were cursed because then saying you had AIDS was like telling people you’d personally spat in Mother Teresa's face so we called it an 'immune deficiency' which was much more dignified.
Now, don’t get me wrong, dying was not my best performance. No curtain call, no encore, no standing ovation but at least I did it with panache. I left behind 22 Rolls-Royce's, 69 candelabras, and a foundation to teach children piano.
I played the Piano with passion and drama and enough wrist flourishes to qualify as interpretive dance. Critics said I was over-the-top and too flamboyant and likened to a walking disco ball and why not?
I had a piano custom-made with a mirror top. Why? Because even in the middle of Rhapsody in Blue, I wanted to check my hair. Vanity? Perhaps. Practical? Absolutely.
And the fans, oh, the fans! Women threw their girdles at me. Girdles! Not flowers, not chocolates, foundation garments. I had a closet full of them backstage but I knew exactly what I was doing. While other pianists wore tuxedos and stared wistfully at the ceiling like they’d lost their train of thought, I wore capes lined with actual peacock feathers and descended from the ceiling on a golden elevator.
After i died i heard they turned my house into a Liberace museum, wonder if they left my rhinestone toilet seat?
I proved you could be a classically trained musician, a showman, a fashion disaster (in the best way), and still sell out Madison Square Garden doing a medley of pop tunes and Flight of the Bumblebee all while wearing gloves made of actual mink.
Now some say I wasn’t taken seriously. That I was all show and no substance but I've cultivated a certain image and I don’t regret it one sequin of it because I lived loud, I loved fiercely (with a backup dancer named Tony) and I never let fear of judgment or poorly matched cufflinks silence me.