Falling Upside Down

Little knots

2014-06-20T16:57:00.001-07:00

Tied from strings of our past,

To never be undone,

Isn't it naive of us to think that?

Our future looks secure,

I'm happy to accept that.

But what if our string frays?

What if there's a fire and we burn together,

At least we'd burn together.

I would give you half of my heart

2014-06-15T20:35:00.001-07:00

Because I share everything with you,

Even if it means dying together.

Ironic,

That me trying to save us,

Would kill us both.

It's a shame my heart isn't strong enough to keep us both alive.

It's large enough to be full from your love,

It's a wonderful feeling to be fulfilled, in love.

Step by step

2014-06-03T16:06:00.001-07:00

Afraid of small changes,

We're commited to big things,

Looking for weakness,

Tired of sin.

I'm in a good place now,

I've found you.

You're taking care of me,

I'm watching over you.

Can you take care of me every morning?

Or is that too much to ask.

At least at night I'll see you,

Without your mask.

Incredible credentials

2014-05-22T13:25:00.001-07:00

But nobody is looking at your achievements,

You haven't done anything to impress them, not yet.

We've just met.

Is it strange that we value trust so highly if we don't trust anyone right away?

Or is that something we just accept and swallow, even if it makes us uneasy?

I am often uneasy,

There are too many unsettling things about my life.

But I know that if I keep putting one foot infront of the other, I will get somewhere.

My heart stopped and I woke up

2014-05-13T09:50:00.001-07:00

It's a nice day to learn who I am,

The day I almost died in my sleep.

I'm scared,

But surprisingly not confused.

I don't know what I'm doing to myself.

Maybe it's the caffeine,

I have a suspicion though, that it's my perfect life.

My body has to create some stress,

It can't believe this new life of mine.

Things here, things there

2014-05-03T20:21:00.001-07:00

Levelled down,

Be straight with me;

Tell me how it is,

What's the deal with love nowadays?

Not much.

But you aren't the infidel,

Nor are you the confidant.

I just like dealing with it all,

You are my experience worth living for.

Promises are made but not made to keep

2014-03-19T18:35:00.001-07:00

For the sake of saying we did,

When really meaning we could.

Beautiful secrets we've told one another,

Even if they're lies,

We feel closer.

And close is as good as we'll ever get,

When we look back at it.

Symmetry

2014-03-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

The lines running down our backs,

Cutting us in two,

Despite always trying to fit in,

Showing our true colours,

Even if we walk around blind half the time.

These complications lead to

Extreme discrimination,

Of each generation,

Unending.

Such ridicule,

Done.

Sinkholes

2014-03-10T13:31:00.001-07:00

Sunk low,

In a trench that you have difficulty pulling yourself out of,

Feeling down about whatever, whenever,

Wondering what it is you're doing,

And how you'll be doing it.

You sing sad songs,

You carry yourself along,

Cold feelings follow you wherever you go.

Maybe your tunes have something to do with it.

To express interest

2014-02-24T18:12:00.001-08:00

Slowing down,

And actually paying attention.

Taking time,

To forgive but not forget.

I don't have the energy anymore for this.

And I wish that neither did you.

Nonpermanent Residence

2014-02-23T11:51:00.001-08:00

Evidently irrelevant,

From the bottom of my aching soul,

I return home to a cold bed,

A place I left a long time ago.

A capsule of times,

Better left uncovered,

Undiscovered,

Like melted snow under our feet.

I can feel it slipping away.

Who's broken heart?

2014-02-21T20:24:00.001-08:00

Challenger,

Destroyer,

Winner, but not really.

There is nowhere safe for someone with no friends,

And I'm afraid that's you.

You won the fight to keep everything,

Except the ones you love.

Those you left behind,

With the rest of your life,

Or at least the parts that really mean anything.

Seeing the sad side of any given situation

2014-01-28T02:26:00.001-08:00

How long do I have to love you,

How long will it take for me to get over you,

I want to not be here, even though

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not following any plan,

But still you're moving too fast,

further away, so sure of what you're doing,

And I am watching from a safe distance, afraid of getting dragged along.

How wrong am I to love you?

Everything seems obvious, but I keep wanting you,

Even though everything says not to.

I'm stuck whether I try or not,

This is how it has to be.

Guilty with myself

2013-12-31T09:54:00.001-08:00

The best I can do is live with myself,

It's not forgiveness,

Wasting away under the shadow of guilt,

Do I ever look at myself with unaltered eyes?

The years go on, days dragging away,

I'm not changing,

Making the same mistakes that eat at me,

I've never really learned to accept myself.

Coming home

2013-12-02T12:30:00.003-08:00

My love is like a boomerang,

I've thrown it out a long time ago and I'm waiting for it to come back to me.

I can't sleep at night,

I'm missing an important part,

The better half of me.

But I'm tired,

So come back,

You've been on your adventures for too long,

I can't keep defending you while you're away.

You're not a child anymore,

No more birthday cake to celebrate getting old,

Soon I'll be old with nothing but my aching soul-

He sleeps alone tonight

2013-11-21T13:03:00.001-08:00

In this house,

Empty,

He feels the upset faces staring down at him.

In his dreams,

Fulfilling,

He is filled with warmth.

On that bed,

Miserable at best,

When he awakes,

Feeling cold and invisible,

He never wants to wake up.

Philosophy is man expressing curiosity

2013-11-20T21:13:00.001-08:00

Our experiences are me expressing my love for the world,

Trying to make sense of everything,

Trying to make sense of our love,

Understanding on a basic level,

Even if I appear to be unsure of everything all the time.

Burned flames should never reignite

2013-11-13T12:04:00.001-08:00

So I keep you away,

To keep the nightmares out,

Take me away from this fear;

So afraid of being left alone with you.

It's not cowardice,

But strength,

My inability to be shook,

Understanding that you never wanted to play nice.

If love is a game,

You thought you were the victor,

And you played me as such.

But I quit, you can't have your victory anymore.

Wrong side of the sidewalk

2013-11-04T01:00:00.001-08:00

Memories in moments,

Lives of regret,

Living in fear and doubt,

Unable to love one another,

Afraid of ourselves.

Umbrellas folded up,

Really just a precaution,

Unable to live a life carefree,

Because of "just in case".

I'm burning so bright,

And I'll burn half as long,

Unable to be there for you,

When you've finally stopped worrying about the little things.

No man better articulates

2013-10-31T12:27:00.001-07:00

Is this love?

Or are we struggling to get away from another,

And did I tell you I loved you at the most inopportune moment-

I never had a choice,

You needed to know or else I'd drown.

I don't hate you,

Why do you act like so?

How do I get up after falling so low,

Do you have answers for the questions that I have?

I've never met you.

At least not this you,

Since you don't intend on saving me.

You don't smile anymore, you've forgotten how.

2013-10-30T12:06:00.001-07:00

I've never been lured by that sad look

That people give you when they want to be loved by you.

You sit there waiting for me to catch you,

Forever in free fall,

When did I promise that I'd be there no matter what?

I always mention that you can't quote me on anything.

My spirits are strong,

Knowing that something will lead me home,

Away from this place of loneliness,

This place of disgrace.

All the greed, all the lust

2013-10-15T21:30:00.001-07:00

It's seeping in,
I can't keep it out,
I'm trying to hold this door closed,
Trying to keep my eyes barred,
Afraid to turn my back to the fear,
Letting the tears on my face hide my shame,

I am a part of this.
Whether I like it or not.

Smell the roses, the blood that stains them

2013-10-14T13:25:00.001-07:00

This pain is all I've ever known,
Growing up in the shadow of doubt has left me broken and hopeless,
Fear taking form in my feelings,
Sticking to my brain and beating me at all the games I play,
I'm scared, running.

But as I run out of breath,
I try to find comfort in what I know,
And overcome by my blood-stained past I'm brittle, weak,
Terrified of what everyone will think,
I'm hardly a scholar of my profession,
Really just trying to keep walking,
I say goodbye to my love,
This is the end.

My sight's on love

2013-10-14T10:15:00.001-07:00

With one big sigh everything is let go,
In one wave I let you know,
That I've seen you right through you,
And I can't hide anymore.

Knowing you has brought me down,
The truth is weighing on my chest heavilly,
Making me want to throw it all down.
And maybe one day I will reach the conclusion...

Someday.

Don't leave me

2013-10-10T12:19:00.001-07:00

Cowardice hid us in the corner,
Shame angered us when you tried to help.

Who will be the light,
When daylight doesn't come?

Tomorrow is guaranteed,
Yet I feel unsure of what will happen to me,
Unable to tell you for sure,
If I want to sleep tonight,
And wake up tomorrow,
Instead if falling asleep for good.