One of the things I’d like to begin doing on Falsely Accused Dad is not only sharing My Story, but also sharing the stories of others and promoting news stories about those falsely accused of child sex offenses and even those with questionable cases.  One of things I learned very quickly during my mandated counseling was that even though people where technically guilty, the circumstances are often shocking and prove just how broken our law system is as it relates to child sex offenses.  AGAIN, don’t get me wrong…people who are guilty of harming children need to suffer the full consequences of the law, but right now there is a public and legal witch hunt going on.  There has to be a better way to protect our children and at the same time deliver proper justice to those involved.

Just after publishing my latest entry here on Falsely Accused Dad, I headed over to CNN.com to check out the daily news and immediately noticed the following headline: No longer a registered sex offender, but the stigma remains. So I clicked through and read this heart wrenching article.  Here’s a kid that did indeed commit a crime, but completely didn’t know it, yet look at the price he paid.  Even though he is no longer an offender, his life will never be the same.  Like all of us guilty or not, he will suffer scars for the rest of his life.

One particular portion of the article struck really close to home for me.  It said:

Blackman tenses up when he sees children at a supermarket and avoids talking to girls his age, even if they initiate contact, his mother says.

“I got a lot more fear in me, I mean, because anything could happen,” Blackman said. “Say you’re on the registry, and you’re in the mall and a kid comes up missing. Well, guess what? You’re the first person they’re going to because you’re on the sex offender registry.”

While I am not on the registry (thank God) I can still relate. Before we moved to restart our lives, I was afraid to death to go to local stores. I knew way too many people who knew about my arrest and legal case, but didn’t know any of the facts. I knew what they thought about me. To this day I avoid children in stores like they have the plague. I won’t even go into aisles with kids by myself and if a child gets near me I move away as quickly as I can and frankly often hold my hands up. It’s not a conscious reaction, but automatic. I am just fearful of ever being in a situation where someone could accuse me.

I recall one time a few months after being arrested when I went to the grocery store and got in line to buy groceries.  The man in front of me turned around and I saw that it was one of the police officers that came to my house that night.  He looked at me and all of the sudden got a shocked look on his face.  He just said “Oh my God, you’re kidding.”  He then walked away and got into a different line.

Sure, many on the registry are guilty and deserve what they get, but many aren’t.  I implore you to make sure you understand everyone’s situation before making judgments.  Don’t make the same mistake the convenience store clerk in the story above made.  You just never know.

What are your thoughts on the article?  Did this kid get justice?  Add a comment and let me know what you think.

In August of 2008, I attended by first “anger management” counseling session as part of plea bargain terms.  As I had mentioned in a previous article, this was the DAs way of tricking me into attending a few weeks of sex offender counseling.

I arrived a few minutes early at the counseling center.  A few guys were already there.  I nodded and walked up to the front desk to sign-in and pay my $35 fee.  The lady that did my initial assessment was there.  She greeted me and asked me to have a seat at the table with the two other men that were already there.  Nobody spoke to me, but I spent my time waiting and observing the two already there and those that arrived after me.  The guys already there were young, probably early twenties.  Both were decent looking guys, one fairly heavy set and not real well groomed.  The other guy was in really good shape, well groomed and frankly looked to come from a fairly well off family.

Additional men showed up over the next few minutes.  A large guy about 30 years old with spiked hair, an older thin gentleman who I would guess was in his sixties, an then another older gentleman in his mid to late 50s with a full beard.  On the later man, I immediately noticed a large black box at his belt.  I would later find out that it was a tracking device.  The final man that showed up, almost late was the only African American and I’d guess was in his mid to late forties.  To be real honest, none of them looked like I expected.  I’m not really sure how to describe what I thought they would look like, but I guess if I had to put it to words: I expected them all to look “less than normal”.  They all looked like average Joes you would meet walking down the street.

Introductions

The counselor came over, seated herself at the table and got things going.  The first order of business was introducing me.  She didn’t offer any details of my situation just said my name and that I would be joining “the group”.  She then asked each member to introduce themselves, state why they were there and provide some details of their “story”.

The large guy, approx 30-years old with the spiked hair went first.  He introduced himself, told me that he was gay and that he was guilty of possession of child pornography.  He served 6-months of jail time and ordered to register as a sex offender.  He had been attending counseling sessions for a little over two years.

The next to go was the young guy who I thought looked fairly wealthy (turns out I was wrong).  He told me he was guilty of a few things, but primarily rape of a minor.  He had been attending counseling off and on for more than 2 years.  The counselor then added that he had a bad habit of coming for a few weeks, then just stopping.  As a result, he had been in jail off and on for 2 years.  She also added that he had a bad drinking problem which contributed to his problem.

The large rather unkept guy went next.  He was guilty of indecent liberties with a minor along with a few other charges.  Similar to the previous guy, he had attended off and on and had been in jail twice.  Once initially as part of the original charge, and then again for probation violation due to not attending counseling classes.

The two older gentleman went next.  The first was the thin guy.  He surprised me when he talked as he seemed very well educated.  I would later find out he was a chief executive for a large company for many many years.  He told me he was guilty of indecent liberties with a minor, in particular an 8 year old girl who was a neighbor of his.  He explained he was long beyond ashamed and was working on trying to rebuild his life.  He had done jail time as well when initially convicted.

The older gentleman with the beard started to cry before he even talked.  He said having to state what he had done was one of the most difficult things he had to do.  He was found guilty of multiple counts of indecent liberties with a minor and rape of a minor.  The victim: his granddaughter.  At this point he became overwhelmed with emotion and literally sobbed for a good 2-3 minutes.  He finally regained control and told me that he had lost his wife of more than 30 years whom he loved dearly, his daughter (the mother of the girl) and the “apple of his eye” and all of his grandchildren as a result of his mistake.  He explained that his whole goal in life was to just get through the day and survive the overwhelming emotions of guilt and regret.  I never imagined I could feel bad for a child sex offender, but this guy broke my heart.  In his eyes I saw a man that was so full of pain that it just flowed out of him with tears and sorrow.  I noticed a few of the other men had tears in their eyes as well.  Frankly, I was tearing up too.  I was shocked…I hadn’t expected this.

The final man to go was the African American.  He explained that he was guilty of first degree rape of his wife.  My immediate reaction, although not out loud was huh?  Turns out, they were on rocky ground due to a severe drinking problem he had.  They were sleeping in separate rooms in the house, and he came home drunk one night and raped her.  He started to tear up too.  Then he said, “I am just trying to live.”  The counselor then stepped in and said while I feel bad for him, he still drinks heavily and does drugs.  Until he solves that problem, it’s hard for me to feel he’s on the right track.  The man just nodded and looked away.

My turn

The counselor then looked at me and said “your turn”.  I immediately told them that I shouldn’t be there, that I took a plea but wasn’t guilty of anything as I didn’t do anything.   The guy with the spiked hair interrupted me and very pointedly said: “Don’t even go there, regardless of whether you did it or not, you are guilty.  You plead to a crime, it’s on your record and people will think you did it.   Very few that come in here initially say they did it, so we’ll see whether you did or not.”  Wow…that surprised me, but I couldn’t disagree with what he was saying.  While he was direct, I sincerely felt like he was just being honest, but in a caring way. I would later find out that it was part of the “graduation process” for sex offenders in counseling to take over a counseling type role.  He was in the final stage and was doing just that.

The first lesson

The counselor then took over and said with that out of the way, let’s pick up where we last left off.  Seems they hadn’t started anger management yet and wouldn’t do so for a few weeks.  To be honest, I don’t recall the topic they were going through, but it had to do with their feelings and how to keep control of them.  They all listened and participated.  I remained quiet as this was all new to me.

When the session was done, everybody said it was nice to meet me and they would see me next week.  The counselor walked up and said that I had been quiet tonight.  She expected that since it was my first night, but that participation in the sessions was required and that she expected me to participate more next week.  She said it nicely though.  I noticed that the cold exterior I saw during the assessment was gone.  She seemed…nice…and really caring about the people in that were in the room.

I left to go home.  Over the next few weeks I would learn each of their stories in far more detail and I’ll share those with you.  I think each story will surprise you.

A few days after the initial meeting with my probation officer, I arrived at a small brick building in downtown for my counseling assessment.  Frankly, I had no idea what to expect.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to get a real child sex offender assessment or whether it was just going to be an interview. I walked in and providing them with my name and was asked to wait.  I waited for about 10 minutes and small framed women walked out and asked me to come into her office.

I was asked to sit across from her and she sat behind her desk.  She didn’t say anything at first and just browsed through a file that was open on her desk in front of her.  After a few minutes she looked up and asked if I knew why I was here?  I responded yes and told her it was a condition of my probation to attend anger management classes.  She nodded, and then asked me to tell her my story from start to finish.  She wanted to her about that initial night of the accusation and about what had occurred since.  As she finished talking, I was suddenly struck by how cold this women was.  She showed no emotion, provided no small talk, and frankly seemed to say the minimum amount of words necessary.  She did not seem friendly in the least bit.

I told her my story and she listened intently, often asking me to pause while she wrote down what I was saying.  She explained to me that it was necessary for her to write down almost to the word what I was describing.  She paused a few times as well to ask questions about the story, and seemed surprised more than once with my answers.  When I finally finished almost an hour later she looked at me and said “That’s some story.  Is is true?”  I responded “Absolutely” and she nodded.  She said this was the first time in her few years of doing this that she had her a story with as many “issues and questions” as mine had.  I noticed as we talked a bit that one of the folders on her desk was a copy of my case file, including the child’s medical report.  So she knew the story already.

She then reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a form and asked me to read and sign-in.  The form was a “Sex Offender treatment permission form”.  In surprise I handed it back to her immediately and said that is not what I am here for.  She replied that it was just a standard form and since I was here to take anger management training as part of her larger sex offender training program, I would be required to sign it.  I explained that I was not trying to be difficult, but that I was not going to sign a form that had “sex offender” on it in any way shape or form and that by doing so, I would be admitting myself as a sex offender, which I am not.

We discussed it for a few minutes, and I basically told her politely but firmly that this wasn’t going to work, and I would need to meet with my probation officer again to discuss this further and possibly even my attorney.  She sighed, and turned on her computer and asked me to give her few minutes.  She finished typing and a document came out of her printer.  She handed it to me and said “Hopefully this will meet your needs.”  At the top it said “Anger management consent form”.  I read through it, signed it, and thanked her.  She proceeded to get up and explained to me that the first class was next Tuesday night and she expected me to be there.  She said classes start at 7:30pm, if I was more than 5 minutes late, the door would be locked and I would not be allowed in and considered absent.  She also informed me that each class cost $35, payable in cash.  What? She then said that not paying or not showing up to class is considered a probation violation and that she would inform my probation officer.  Nice.

So now, in addition to the “victim” compensation, and the monthly probably fee, I now have to pay a $35 per class counseling fee.  Neither the probation fee or counseling fee was mentioned to me when I agreed to the plea.  I mean, I wasn’t going to go hungry over it or anything, but each time something like this came up, it made me realize that my whole case was really about money.

I left, thinking the assessment had been far easier than I thought it was going to be.  I basically just told my story, answered a few questions and was done.  As I drove away thoughts about the class began the wander in my mind.  I was really nervous about the class and the people who would be in it.  Would their stories be like mine or would they admit to their crimes?  In a few days, I would find out.

I sat waiting in the probation area for about 15 minutes and finally heard a door open right in front of me.  Looking up I saw a middle aged lady standing there asking me to come on back.  She looked friendly enough.  We walked through a short hallway and into a small office where I sat down.  She introduced herself, and leafed through a file that I noticed had my name and case number on it.  After a few minutes she stated she would read through it in more detail later, but wanted to overview the probation process for me.  She also asked that before we jumped in that I give her an overview of my case, which I did from start to finish.

When I was done, she just stared at me for a minute and said “Wow”.  She had a very shocked look on her face, but hesitated saying anything.  She only replied that given the charges and interest the DA had in my case, she was surprised I got a misdemeanor charge and 18-months probation.  I responded by saying they didn’t have much of a case, but wouldn’t drop it.  She just shook her head and opened up my file.

Probation Terms

The first item she reviewed was the terms of my probation.  She walked through each of the items on the “special terms” I had agreed to as part of my plea bargain.  We spent the most time discussing three of them.

Financial Terms

This is where I got my first little surprise.  She informed me that I would be required to make monthly payments.  Those payments would consist of the amount I owed “the victim” spread out over the 18-month probation term.  Additionally, I would have to pay $35/month probation.  The “victim” money I expected, the probation fee I didn’t.  Nobody had told me prior to this meeting that I would need to pay a probation fee.  While not a huge amount of money, $35 dollars over 18-months added up to be $630.00.  Given the 20k plus I had just dished out to my attorney, plus the “victim money” and now this…the financial strain was definitely kicking in.

She filled out a financial terms form and had me sign it.  Frankly, I didn’t have any choice.  Not signing it would result in me being in violation of my probation terms meaning I would go to jail.  So I signed it and expressed my concerns about not being aware of the fee.  Her only reply was “sorry about that”.  She then explained to me that if I got more than a couple of months behind on my payments, she would be forced to send me jail.  I found this interesting.  So if I can’t make the payment for some reason, I go to jail, resulting in me not working and thus further not being able to pay the bill.  I wondered how that worked for people.

After signing and reviewing the financial terms, she told me how to make payments and that I was expected to make my first one today.  Only cash was expected.  What?  I explained to her that I didn’t have the cash on me, but would come over later in the afternoon or tomorrow and make it.  She agreed, but made it very clear that payment needed to be made.

Additional Terms for being around children

The next surprise occurred when we reached the item in my plea agreement where I wasn’t supposed to be around children other than my own without adult supervision.  As she explained it to me, in order for an adult to be considered for “adult supervision”, that adult had to meet with and be approved by my probation officer.  No big deal right?  Well, let’s think that through…Can I go to other people’s homes that have children without my probation officer meeting them?  Could I go to the mall?  How about when other kids come over in our driveway or yard to play with my kids?

I asked her about all of this and her answer was wherever reasonable she needs to approve the adult that will be with me.  So this basically allowed me to go to public places like malls, stores, etc where there were lot of adults.  But for visiting friends, going to church, kids playing around our house, etc my wife had to be there and my wife had to meet my probation officer first.  I asked her a little further about this since that wasn’t what the agreement actually said.  Her response was that as the probation officer, she had the right to enforce the rules as she felt they needed to be enforced.  I later learned this was not true and that probation officers can only enforce the rules as they are written in the judgement, no more, no less.

Counseling/Anger Management

Now for the big curve ball.  She gave me the name and address of the organization I would be working with for the anger management counseling.  However, she informed me that she had already spoken with them.  The organization didn’t offer specific anger management counseling, but instead they would place me in the sex offender counseling sessions.  Turns out they just happened to be getting ready to start the anger management portion of their curriculum.  The slimey DA had worked this out in advance.  This was the DAs way of getting me into sex offender treatment by tricking me.  The only good news was that I only had to attend for 6-weeks.

I of course challenged this and was told that was the only option, and that if I didn’t cooperate it would be considered a probation violation and I would go to jail (seeing a pattern here?).  I later contacted my attorney who said there was really nothing he could do and that technically what they were doing met the terms of the agreement.  Lied to and screwed again!  Folks, remember the law is NOT on your side.

My probation officer then called and made an appointment for me to have an assessment done before my counseling started.  Another surprise.  Since I was going into the sex offender counseling session, I had to have a formal assessment done.  Something I had completely refused to do while I was waiting on this to be resolved.  Not knowing what I was really getting myself into, I thought I would at least go over and meet with them.  The appointment was for a few days later.  If I became uncomfortable or felt the “assessment” was hurting me more than helping, I would just leave.

My probation officer then informed me that her and I would be meeting at least monthly and initially each wee.  She made our appointment for the following week.  She told me that if she needed to meet with me sooner, that she would call me.  She also reminded me that she would be stopping by every so often unannounced and would also be doing searches of the property without a warrant.  If I failed to allow these, I would be arrested immediately.  She also went through in gory detail any “sexual materials” that would be considered in violation of my probation.  This included sex toys, pornography (written or visual), and pornographic movies.  My computer would also be checked and no pornography or history of viewing pornographic sites was allowed.  If they found any guess what?  Yep, go to jail.  This was not a problem for me, I don’t have pornography and don’t view it.

I left her office to head to the bank to get some cash to pay for the initial probation payment.  The whole time thinking that didn’t go at all as I expected.  Even after agreeing to the plea, I was still being screwed.  I wondered what additional surprises awaited me over the next 18 months and especially during my assessment appointment in the next few days.  I was also very nervous about sitting in counseling sessions with real convicted sex offenders.  I thought to myself, only 18 more months to go.  I’d been through so much, I could surely endure this too.

The court day had been looming for days.  My attorney and the DA managed to get time with the judge during a private court session so nobody else would be in the room, not even the press.  I hadn’t slept much the night before stressing over the day ahead.  We arrived early as requested by our attorney and waited in the 50s styled waiting room to enter the courtroom.  My wife, my father, step mother and two older boys sat there with me.  I didn’t want my kids to come, but they insisted as they wanted to support me.  It was a show of unity and while we wouldn’t say much of anything during court, the fact that we were all together supporting each other was a message way more than any words could express.

My attorney had met with my wife and I a few days before and explained to us exactly what we could expect.  He expected the mother, based on his conversations with the DA, to be very dramatic and she had prepared a statement that she would address directly at me.  This was no surprise, as the mother was a dramatic person anyway.  She seemed to live for it.  His recommendation was for me to say nothing and if I could help it, not to even look at the girl’s family.  He strongly advised me to say nothing, as it wouldn’t help the situation any and could possibly cause the judge to question the plea agreement.  I didn’t realize this, but judge’s have the power to deny plea agreements and force you to trial.

The Courtroom

Our attorney went into the courtroom and came back out a few minutes later.  He told us to come in and that the DA and mother hadn’t arrived yet.  I was seated upfront next to my attorney and my family behind me.  I looked straight ahead and just prayed for peace and that this would quickly be over.

A few minutes later my wife told me they were walking in.  Both the father and mother of the girl came.  I refused to give them the satisfaction of me acknowledging them.  We all sat in what seemed like an eternity of silence, until court was started and the judge walked in.

After the girl’s family was seated, the DA over viewed the case along with the fact we had come to a plea agreement.  The agreement was given to the judge for review and the judge allowed the mother to speak.  I detested the way the DA stated factually that I had molested the little girl in my home.  She never said accused, just that I had done it.  She also left out much of the detail that makes the story seem like such a lie.  Listening to her speak, it literally made me sick to my stomach.  For a few minutes, I literally thought I might have to excuse myself.  I felt somewhat ashamed as I sat there knowing I was basically there to admit to a crime  that I hadn’t truely done.

The judge then gave the mother an opportunity to speak.  As expected, she proceeded to tell how devastated the supposed events had been on their family, how she had trusted me and I had violated that trust.  She cried and even border lined on shouting a few times.   I never once looked at her.  I looked straight ahead.  Every nerve in my body wanted to stand up and should back: “You!?  You!?  What about what you’ve done to my life?? You have no clue what you have put me and my family through!  Why would you do this?  Why would you make up something so horrible?”

I wanted to tell her how her unfounded accusations had ruined our lives, how we had lost friends and how our kids were made fun of at school.  I wanted to tell her about how I had cried for days after being taken from my family and how I had to take prescription drugs just to sleep at night.  During her “speech” she also mentioned how much the counseling had cost her when they didn’t have much money to begin with.  Trust me, the $2000 she supposedly spent on counseling was a drop in the bucket to the almost $30,000 this whole case cost me by the time it was all said and done.  Funny, we never received proof of any counseling.

She finally finished saying only that she hoped that both families could now move on.  What?  Move on?  Easy for her to say, I still faced 18 more months of probation and a lifetime of dealing with this and having to explain it.  The judge asked me if I had anything to say.  I hesitated for a few seconds, and slowly responded: “No your honor.”  Not saying anything was hard, but I knew my attorney was right.  There was nothing to be gained by saying anything and I just wanted this over.  While saying some words might make me feel better temporarily, it wouldn’t change the end result.  It was what it was.

Probation

We walked out the courtroom immediately and I was told I needed to walk down immediately and register with my probation.  I was a bit caught off guard at that, as my attorney had not explained that I would need to do this.  Just another inconvenience in a year or more of many many extreme hardships I suppose.  My family left to wait in the car while I walked down the long old hallway at the court house towards the probation office. More than  18 months behind me, now another 18 months ahead of me.  All I could think about was the 4 years of my life torn apart by the false accusation of my 4 year old little girl and her mother.  I still don’t understand how this can happen, but it did.

“Hi, I’m here to meet with my probation officer, I just left court.”

“She’ll be with you in a moment, please have a seat in the hallway”.

I sat down in an area with 2 or 3 other people.  I looked out of place and felt out of place.  I was now a criminal, with a record to prove it.  I felt ashamed, hurt, betrayed and angry.  Even though I had done nothing wrong, I felt guilty.  I felt guilty because I was there.   I also felt guilty for the shame this had brought to my wife, my kids, my parents, my friends.  At least this stage was over.  I sat there waiting and wondering what new surprises lurked behind the probation door.

For those of you visiting the website, you’ll notice a fresh new look.  I updated the version of Wordpress to the latest and decided to move to using the Thesis theme.  I still have some tweaking I would like to do, but the basics are in place.   If you see any issues or even have a suggestion for making this site better, just let me know!

Also, many of you have written asking about my status.  I’m working hard to get back to a more routine posting schedule and would like to update once or twice a week going forward.  So don’t give up!  You’ll be able to read the rest of my story and hear about how things are currently with me soon enough.

Thanks so much for staying with me and please send your friends and family links to this site.  I’d really like to use my story and this site as a way educating people about how out of control our justice system is as it relates to children and men.

After days of agonizing, in late July of 2008, I signed a plea agreement drafted by my attorney and the DA.  I received a 60 day suspended sentence with supervised probation for 18 months.  18 months was the minimum amount for the state I live in.  In addition to the standard probationary terms, the following terms also applied:

1. I had to participate in an anger management program at a local counseling and treatment center.  I’ll talk more on this later, but I basically got scammed.
2. I was not to possess any sexually stimulating or sexually oriented materials.  I would agree to allowing warrantless searches my home and computer by the probation officer and if any such materials were found, it would be a probation violation.
3. I would under go drug testing as required by the probation officer.
4. I would remain away from the “victim” and her family.
5. I agreed to have no unsupervised contact with any child under the age of 16 during my probation, except for my own children.
6. I would pay restitution in the amount of $2000.00 during the period of probation.  This was supposedly to pay for the “victims” counseling.  I tried very hard to get this removed from the agreement, but the DA and “victim’s” family flat our refused.
7. I would be allowed to travel out of state for work
8. All of the items removed from my home during the initial search warrant would be returned.  This included computers, tapes of my children being born, family photos and a number of other items.
9. My original charges would be dismissed.

Taking this plea was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever faced.  I wanted to believe in the system and know that an innocent man wouldn’t be found guilty.  But given my experiences over the past year, I knew that was not the case.  I could see very clearly how someone who had done nothing wrong, could find themselves in jail and their life as they knew it over.

My employer would allow me to continue to work with plea agreement terms as well, which was a critical factor for me.  I finally decided that in order to end this for my family and not risk their futures, I would need to ding mine.  People would think what they wanted regardless of my decision.  The only people that mattered to me were my family and my God.

I signed the plea sometime at the end of July, and agreed to it in court on on Wednesday, August 13th.  Court was horrible, but I’ll save that story for another day.

Between September of 2007, when DSS finally allowed me to come home and July of 2008, nothing happened with my legal case.  Two very high profile murder cases came up and completely dominated the DA and and assistant DAs time.  Unless I was willing to plead guilty to my full charges, they didn’t even want to talk to me.  So on the advise my of my attorney, we waited.

In July of 2008, my attorney contacted me and informed me that the assistant DA assigned to my case finally wanted to meet with my attorney.  I don’t know the details of what was discussed, but he wanted to meet with us.  Later that week we had a meeting with him, and the assistant DA had made a “final” plea bargain.  The plea bargain was: Misdemeanor assault on a minor.  If I took this plea, I would not have to register as a sex offender and would be required to take a 3-month sexual offender class, server 18-months of probation, and pay the “victim” $2000.00 to cover Evonne’s supposed counseling.  Additionally, the felony charges and arrest would be expunged from my record.

Obviously I didn’t want to take a plea, but this particular offer had a few things that attracted me:

1. Based on what I had learned it was very very rare for a felony charge like mine to be reduced to a misdemeanor.  What that did tell me though was that the DA didn’t think she had a strong case.  The question was, was I willing to risk my family?
2. A misdemeanor charge would most likely let me keep my job.
3. Taking the plea would let me move on with my life, and not have to endure another 6-12 months of emotional stress waiting for trial.

The most important thing to be at the time was the well being of my family.  They depended on me for my income, especially considering my 9-year old is a type 1 diabetic.  What this plea really boiled down to was one question: Was I willing to risk my family for a not-guilty verdict?

Needless to say we told my attorney we needed some time.  This was one of the most important decisions I had ever faced.  I also needed to consult with my employer and make sure that if I accepted the plea I could stay employed.

I asked my attorney for his recommendation.  He slowly replied and said while it wasn’t the outcome either of us desired, it was a very very good deal.  He also said in the history of him handling similar cases, he had never had a felony case reduced to a misdemeanor like this.  His recommendation was that I take the plea.  His whole point being that if we went to trial, he still felt the verdict would boil down to whether the jury believed me or a 4 year old girl.  History shows that juries believe children, not adults.  He said he honestly felt that we had a 50% chance of winning.  He also took some time to make me very aware of what would happen if a “guilty” verdict was issued.  Chances were I would go to jail, I would definitely be placed on the sex offender registry, and would also be a prime target for a follow on civil suit for damages (read $$).

We left his office with lots of information to think on, and big decision to make.  If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

I also considered one last thing…My whole purpose of wanting to go to trial was to be found innocent.  I wanted this more than anything so that I could throw it in the faces all of our friends that turned their backs on us.  But would that really happen?  Most likely not.  Based on what I had read, even if I was found innocent, those people would just think I “got off”.  Their decision on whether I was guilty or not was made a long time ago when they first heard I was arrested.  I seriously doubted a “not guilty” verdict would change their minds.

A few weeks after our face-to-face meeting with DSS in September of 2007, we received a call from our DSS worker.  She has something to tell us, but wanted to tell us in person.  She asked for both of us to be there.  After all that we had been through, we expected the worst.  What she told us was truely the most wonderful thing I had heard since all of this happened:  She told me I could come home and that our DSS case was being closed.

It would seem our face-to-face meeting made a difference.  I’m pretty sure that by them seeing and talking to me made the difference.  I was no longer just a name on a sheet of paper, but a real human being.  I think they saw me for who I really was: A Dad that was lost without his family.  She left shortly after telling us, and my wife immediately went to the schools to get my kids.  Finally being able to stay home with my family was one of the happiest moments in my life.  People say you never truly know what you have until it’s taken away from you and that is such a true statement.

This was a huge step forward for us, and while we knew we had a long way to go and still faced the legal charges, at least DSS was out of the picture.  Being home allowed us all to return to a level of normality we hadn’t had in over a year.

I slept better that night than I had in a very long time.  Being able to sleep in my bed, with my wife, in my house was truely an answer to prayer.

The handful of you that actually read this site and subscribed most likely received updates for a restaurant review site over the past couple of days rather than updates to Falsely Accused Dad.   No, you aren’t going crazy…the my hosting company somehow managed to cross a number of website feeds on their server (something to do with IP addresses). Unfortunately this site was one of many that were impacted along with a few hours of being down while they fixed the issue.

My apologies for any confusion this might have caused.  I am working on a new set up updates about my situation and hope to have those published soon!

Thanks for reading!

- Dad