Family circle

Settling Quarrels in Marriage

2012-02-04T04:25:00.003-08:00

Quarrels arise mostly due to different opinions. Opinions will always be made and expressed. Everyone is entitled to one! Caution! You have the right to your thought, so also your spouse has, and they have good basis for their opinions. You can be the only right one when you are the plaintiff, solicitor and the judge all at the same time in these situations. What you have successful done is to vindicate yourself by yourself, you made the defense and judgment.

On a good day rather than assuming these three beautiful roles at same time you can create a level playing ground where your spouse can defend his or her innocence. If you deny audience, you have marginalized the person, and you denied him or her of a fair hearing. Be objective in your judgments and actions.

You need peace, independence, happiness and good life as much as your spouse needs it. Everyone needs good life. Before you become offended please make a move to talk issues over, don’t listen like a good judge but listen to reach compromise. Two of you might be extremists’ reason together how you both feel about your relationship and how to resolve these complain.

It’s not always easy but let the fear of God lead you through been objective and responsible.

Don’t get Wrong Ideas of the child’s mind

2012-02-04T04:02:00.001-08:00

Many families had made the mistake letting their child turn out anyway, believing the child can grab from things around him. A typical Yoruba family will adopt the biblical spare the rod and spoil the child.”

The “rod” not necessarily means capital punishment always but sometimes when wrong ideas want to engraft themselves in the mind of the child.

Children can be compared to clay in the hands of the potter meaning their characters could be molded by parents, teachers and things around them. Some school of thought believes that this is not a rue idea, that it is more nearer the truth when you compare these kids with young plants.

Their mind are growing with certain qualities that cannot be altered, we can help to give their minds and characters direction and we can promote healthy growth by suitable food, just as we can do in the case of plants afore mentioned but our work is not that of “molding” characters, rather it is that of helping it to grow and develop in the right way.

The children mind is neither a blank slate nor a piece of clay on which we can make any sort of impressions. The mind of the youngest child is by no means blank. It is full of impressions and alive with activity and response to any new impression depends upon the ideas already in his mind, and upon how actively his mind is at work at the time the impression is received.

The child is always active, and it is this constant activity that makes growth and development possible.

Some parent expects a child to sit for long period a place but you have only to watch children when left to their selves, to see how unnatural this is. If a child remain still for long without being compelled to do so shows he’s not quite well.

Wife How much of your husband do you know

2011-12-17T07:02:00.001-08:00

This day population explosion has really made knowing people well a very daunting task. Most of the time we get acquainted at the pubs, in school, church, restaurant etc. We got on well together and here we are married. The era of courtship had been slowly eroding from marriage.

No problem you can start now your first hurdle.

How many siblings does your hubby have, list them Uncles, Aunts, Nephews, Nieces etc start it out inquire don’t be shy to ask about major events in your hubbies life whether they had been to the police cell, prison, or hospital and why?

Some husbands have been to the hospital severally and some had been frequent patron of brothels, before they marry. Some are used to having sex frequently with different partners so often that when they marry they could disturb their partners much too frequently for everyday sex. The woman might think they are inhuman and they may be mistaken because they are not they are just used to it that’s all.

You will need to know your husband past sex life, you need to know how his or her siblings handle their spouse, do they have records of caring adoring etc or they treat their hubby as properties. Have any of them had history of divorce and on what grounds? There are one to one thousand questions you may access them in my next book,
“Knowing Your Hubby Inside Out”

Mail me to book a copy

What Newly Wed who want to have First-Time Sex Should Know

2011-12-16T02:08:00.001-08:00

Sex is messy stuff so a small towel, face towel or washcloth should be handy, positioned near the bed. A lubricant might be just handy too. Any kind or type or brand of healthy lubricant available in the supermarket will do the job fine.

You will see many types advertised on Google by the sides here.

Too much lubricant is often advisedly better than too little this makes it easier for the woman. The husband should put a small amount on his hand and apply it to the cap of his J.T just before penetrating the virginal.

If you’re First-timers no matter what you know or may have read about sex the first time may not be anything near perfect. Sex is like building a complex structure it takes a conscious practice involving calculated tasks to get done right. The same with any new structure it takes calculated techniques and lots of practice to master.

The more couples do it the better it should become.

Don’t expect optimum satisfaction on the very first night you just enjoy it for what it is that’s all a new sense of beginning to a new experience of sexual pleasures.

Both parties need time to enjoy sex physically orgasm may not happen during intercourse especially for the woman this can take from several months even years. Time and practice is needed to enjoy full orgasm from sex often.

Your First Night as a Married Couple

2011-12-16T01:03:00.001-08:00

There’s always a lot of anticipation of the wedding night especially for the Virgin.

The Virgin is people who have never had sex in their lives. Although the thought of being able to finally have sex with the hubby may be exciting but the dread of the big J.T of the groom entering the narrow vagina of the bride can be scary for the wife when the traces of the sacredness of sex might be strong on the man the thought that it’s not right may make any of them afraid. They can be insecure because the experience is so new.

If care is not taken enough it might develop into a temporary impotence on side, the woman or the man. The man may begin to loose erection anytime he beholds a nude woman, and vice-versa the woman may turn rigid refusing penetration in the virginal every time she sees a live J.T.

Here we will deal with sex for the first timers, referring to the newly weds. Mind you sex is only intended for those who are married legitimately. It is only the married that can enjoy sex in a secure condition.

Sex is neither scary nor sinful if you follow Gods principle about it. To see how the wedding night should look like continue here.

3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them

2011-07-25T03:17:00.000-07:00

What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to unhappy, unhealthy and unsuccessful children? Parents know these for your children seek.
1. Failure To Act According To Child's Best Interest
This divorce parenting mistake stem from not knowing what exactly these interest are. Experts do agree on two factors that can be said to be the foundation for a child's true best interest:

Maintain familial ties that were meaningful and important to your children prior to the divorce.
Provide a generally supportive and cooperative in-between parent relationships.

Act according to child's best interest.
2. Failure To Let Go The Hurt's Of One's Divorce
Let go of grudges you may hold against your former spouse. Holding onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If you dwell on your disappointment and dislike with your former spouse - chances are your child will sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative attitude. Overcome this divorce parenting mistake. Let go and forgive.
3. Failure To Win Divorce Parenting Cooperation
If divorced parents can put aside their personal feelings before the welfare of their children and choose to interact with one another in a respectful and dignified way, their children will benefit. Beat this kind of divorce parenting mistake. Learn to win your ex parenting cooperation.
Sure, you can have healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Do act according to child's best interest, let go and forgive, and win the parenting cooperation of your ex. Remember, how bad and well children go through the divorce depends on how you handle the situation. Never let your divorce ruin your children's life.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
Publishing Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as long as the author bylines are included.

About The Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced' Children To Success". Discover the ways to raising healthy, happy and successful children even if you're on divorced. Visit his web site at

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Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it

2011-07-25T01:51:00.000-07:00

The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder. You are grieving. You are grieving the loss of your marriage as you know it, of the spouse as you knew him or her. You know that although you may heal that nothing will ever be exactly the same.
This is just what happens when you lose someone in death. What can you do to make the pain go away?
Understand what grief is! Understand the stages of grief!
Grief is defined as the emotional depiction of great loss accompanied by a sense of hopelessness, anguish, denial, anger and confusion.
The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
How each stage feels to you is going to be different than how it feels to another person. Also, the length of time you spend in each phase will differ.
The first stage is denial. When talking about a relationship afflicted by infidelity this stage is usually gone through before you even find out about the affair. You see signs and you ignore them, thinking your partner couldn't possibly have an affair. You basically deny that the warning signs are there. If you found out about the affair suddenly or were ambushed with it then you may also experience denial. This is usually the case when someone comes to you and says that you're partner is having an affair and you say that they are not, they couldn't possibly be.
The next stage is anger. You will be angry! You have every right to be angry! Anger will take many forms and you will be angry at many people. I personally had moments when I was outright ANGRY and he knew it and other moments when I was passive aggressive. I was also angry at a lot of people. I was angry with him for having the affair, I was angry with the other woman, I was angry with all his coworkers that knew about the affair, I was even angry at his parents. Anger can be the hardest phase to get out of. For many
people, staying angry is a lot easier than feeling the pain. I would start to hurt when thinking about it and I would then go straight into anger because being angry was easier than feeling the pain.
If your spouse has left you or is going to leave you, you may start bargaining. Bargaining is when you beg. Please don't leave us, what will we do with out you. How will we make it. These are all words of the person who is bargaining.
Depression is the next stage. I think that pretty much everyone knows what depression is and knows how it relates to infidelity.
And finally there is acceptance. You have accepted that it happened, that you can't change that it happened, you are no longer stuck on the WHY and you can finally move towards the future, either with your mate or without.
No one person travels through the stages of grief the same. You do not have to go through the stages in order, nor do you have to go through each phase. What matters is that you find a way to get to acceptance.
If you have decided to leave your relationship because you just can't handle what he/she did to you, I must caution you. You will still feel grief. You will still go through the stages of grief. It is important to get through the stages before beginning another
relationship.
You should start doing some things for yourself! When you are grieving it is all too easy to let yourself go. Do not do this. Eat, get sleep, exercise.
Many people find it therapeutic to start doing things for themselves that they didn't do before they found out about the affair. They will join a gym, go on a diet, and develop new friends. Any number of things that ultimately lead to you feeling better about yourself.
Take the time to do something nice for yourself today!

Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering.

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How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce

2011-07-25T01:36:00.001-07:00

An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child support, etc. An uncontested divorce can be an easy way for people to get divorced without the hassles of a legal struggle and undue wear and tear on emotions.

But, you may not be ready to seriously consider uncontested divorce if you're just thinking about it.
Thinking about an uncontested divorce can mean a variety of things from a psychological perspective...it could mean that you are really on the brink of divorce.

It could also mean that you're feeling frustrated and just want to end things as fast and quietly as possible. If this is the case, you may want to make sure that you aren't just being lazy and you should examine your reasons for divorce first before you go any further.

"Does it mean I am really ready for divorce just because I am starting to think about an uncontested divorce?"

Maybe, maybe not.

Here's a few things you might want to think about before going onto next steps with regards to an uncontested divorce, just to make sure that you're really ready to go through with it.

Uncontested divorce situation 1:
You're thinking about an uncontested divorce because you want out but you aren't sure if your spouse is ready to call it quits.
This can be tough if you aren't careful. The main point of an uncontested divorce is to have both parties agree on things. If your spouse doesn't even know that you're thinking about getting a divorce, mentioning an uncontested divorce may result in an explosive discussion.

Uncontested divorce situation 2:
You've both agreed that you'd like a divorce, but haven't really clearly defined why, you just know you both feel ending the marriage is best.

Maybe there's a chance to make your marriage work! Don't be too hasty. If you can't clearly define why you and your spouse want to end your marriage, you're acting on emotion rather than a healthy combination of emotion and logic. Sit down, think it through and have a detailed discussion around all of the details.
But, be careful...this can be a volatile situation if you haven't talked everything through and mutually agreed on how you'll actually implement your divorce decision to have an uncontested divorce.
If one of you is more demonstrative than the other or is usually the person who drives the decisions, that sense of control may carry over into the discussion of the terms of the uncontested divorce.

Uncontested divorce situation 3:
You both agreed that you'd like a divorce (and you both know why), and you've successfully talked about and agreed on all of the details regarding the uncontested divorce.
Although it can be a sad situation most of the time, sometimes a divorce is actually a good thing unfortunately. If you and your spouse have amicably decided to part ways and can continue on as responsible happy adults, then an uncontested divorce can be an easy way to sever the relationship and all legal obligations. This is the best situation to be in if you're looking for an uncontested divorce...it should be simple to finish from this point.
Lots of people think about uncontested divorces and never go through with getting one because they actually work things out...and that's a great thing! And, some people think they want an uncontested divorce but haven't agreed on the details and terms, they're just looking for the fastest way to end the marriage. If this is the case, the relationship can turn from being amicable (and each party thinking they want a divorce) to being nasty and a resulting tug of war ensues with each person striving to get what they feel they deserve out of the divorce...and this can lead to a drawn out negotiation which certainly is not an uncontested divorce.
Be smart when you're considering an uncontested divorce...make sure that you're really ready to go through with it. Don't let the term 'uncontested' fool you, an attorney can ethically and legally on represent one of the married parties. But, if you and your spouse can truly be amicable and truthful, an uncontested divorce can be easy.

Karl Augustine
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients. Deciding on Divorce Uncontested Divorce

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Stop Divorce: "Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If You're Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?"

2011-07-25T01:29:00.001-07:00

Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce. Conversely, it could be wise to try to s top your divorce, only you know whether you should. Just because you're thinking about getting a divorce, doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to stop your divorce, although its logical to automatically assume so.
In order to be clear that you really want to stop your divorce if you're thinking about getting a divorce, you should use any or all of the following steps to make that determination:

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 1: Examine why you're thinking about getting a divorce and clearly define and outline those reasons.
This is a vital part of determining whether you really do want to stop your divorce. It is easy to naturally think you should get a divorce if feel empty, confused, alone, frustrated, etc. But do yourself a favor, figure out what actually has you feeling like you do and write it down. Only then will you be able to decide whether you should make a serious effort trying to stop your divorce.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 2: Determine if guilt is seemingly forcing you to think about wanting to stop your divorce of if there's something inside you that really wants to stop the divorce.
Guilt can play a factor when you're thinking about getting a divorce, don't let it be the determining factor for wanting to stop your divorce. If guilt is the major reason that you want to stop your divorce, sit down and re-think everything. Ask yourself if you'll feel sorry for your spouse because you know how he or she will react to your decision to get a divorce. You will know if guilt is swaying you one way or another.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 3: Use projection to foresee how how your spouse will react if you try to stop your divorce.
You know whether your spouse will be please or disgruntled if you try to stop your divorce. You have an idea of how he or she will react if you try to patch things up and avoid a divorce. If your spouse will react positively if you try to stop your divorce, you should be happy. You may have a chance to make it work. But, if your spouse will react harshly to efforts to stop your divorce, you should ask yourself why. Figure out what your spouses motivations would be for reacting negatively and determine whether or not its still worth trying to stop your divorce or if you should just develop a plan to part amicably.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 4: Think about what your life would be like if you tried to stop your divorce and compare that scenario with what your currently going through.
Figure out what you want out of the situation and decide what you want your future to look like. If you feel that your life will worsen by trying to stop your divorce, maybe you should re-think what your planning. If you feel that you'd like to at least try to stop your divorce, even if its for selfish reasons, then take comfort in the fact that you've at least made the decision to act. Also, ask yourself whether or not the life you want is with your spouse, even if everything turned out exactly the way you planned for it and you were able to stop your divorce.
Ask yourself, "Even if I implement this plan and manage to stop my divorce, is this really the person I want to spend my life with?" The answer to this question will help you determine your course of action.

Should You Stop Your Divorce?, step 5: Implement your plan of action to either stop your divorce or plan to get a divorce.
Nothing will change if you don't act. Now that you've decided to work it out or get a divorce, set a plan in motion with your true end goal in mind. If you want to get a divorce, do what you need to in order to get what you need out of the situation...be amicable. You do not want to look back later on and feel like you didn't act in a mature fashion.
If you truly want to stop your divorce, use the right resources to determine the best course of action to do that. Divorce is serious, you should make certain for your sake and for your spouse's sake that you did all you could to stop your divorce...and be happy about it!

© Karl Augustine, 2005
"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

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Febrile Convulsion When your child faints

2011-06-11T04:25:00.000-07:00

Faints and fits Common with children

When children lose consciousness or say faints its an indication in a child the child will either cry or become rigid for a short time before having a fit. Most often this convulsion happens it usually lasts for about twenty minute or there about before the child fully recovers.

The main cause is high temperature which is an after effect of fever it is estimated by a source that one in every thirty children will experience febrile convulsion both in boys and girls. Sometimes its
hereditary in nature. But it is usually an indication of a fever caused by an infection and those affected are usually from six months to six years old. Please notice the difference it is usually a rapid increase in
body temperature rather than a high temperature that triggers the convulsion. If the causative fever is not controlled there is a ready tendency for a repeat, meaning the child can have more than one convulsion.

FIRST AID
Treat the fever by wiping the child with a wet towel, carefully use the back of your palms to feel the temperature and if the child starts to shiver recover the child with heavy cloth and give
analgesic pain killer.
Better still see your doctor instantly for proper guidance
copyright Foluso Ojoniyi

Leading your child to make the right decisions

2011-06-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

Leading your child to taking decisions as a teenager

LEADING YOUR CHILD TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES
Parents should not cower around their moody teenagers, adolescents for fear of hurting their feelings. The parent should rather protect themselves by adopting a more authoritative style of parenting.

Man's environs includes not only materials, things such as house he has in town, city or village, also the people amongst which he lives, that implies their thoughts words, ideas and ideas that comes from books. There is the mental and spiritual
environments, the two are distinct don't confuse them. We owe our lives to God
no matter what anybody says, he sustains us, when we learn to use our life
aright apart from God we're heading on a head on collision with catastrophe.

It is important we open the eyes of the child to see that no man can adjust himself
aright to align to his environs until he has entered into the right relationship with God, education must help the child to do this, if not the child is heading towards a catastrophe.

Man adjusting to his environment means making the right choices, choosing
between right and wrong things or between good things and better things. The child has
to some extent the power of choice, it is this power of choice that makes it easier
for him to be educated.

Children are much more resilient than peoples assume

"The authoritative parent is warm an involved, but a firm and consistent in establishing
and enforcing guidelines limits and expectations" says Professor Lawrence Steinberg of Temple University Philadelphia, Pennsylvania USA Thus was his conclusion after studying thousands of parents for more than ten years. The report further reiterates that adolescent raised in these type of settings are higher achievers, happier and are therefore most unlikely take part in anti-social behaviors and crime.

One of the most greatest problem of parenting and education is to tend and lead the child to make the right choice and respond in the best way to his surroundings so that he might learn to understand the world he lives in.
copyright Foluso Ojoniyi 2011 .

Buy two get one free here

What is real Love all about?

2011-06-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

You really want to fall in Love then you will have to read this

I was walking down the street and suddenly I met them they were not perturbed by my presence entwined like snakes cuddling like dogs.They look like been in love. It feels and looked like it the real thing. But the most exciting part of all human high end emotions amounts to nature’s unique way of letting the human attraction keep us replicating.

With an irresistible command of body fluids, our brain makes us believe we'd fell in love. We sense we’re finding a partner. But we might just be the happy servants of providence’s love plan.

Contrary to most relationship articles Psychologists have demonstrated that it does not really depend on what you say!

Your Brain needs ninety seconds and four minutes to decide if you would like what you see

Love come Via
55% is through physical appearance
38% is the pattern of their voice
Mere 7% is via what they say!
copyright Foluso Ojoniyi 2011

What will sex do to your relationship

2011-06-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

Sex can help

Can challenges in a relationships help you grow to a mature mate thus enhance your sexual life? The good news is YES challenges in a relationship will help you to grow, be better manager of relationship – and even have better sex!
The bad news is that going through low times in relationships is discouraging and can be very painful.

This times are not the time you should say no to your hubby.
Exceptional issues if hes physically assaulting you.
It can be overt scary and disheartening if you're going through difficult times in your relationship but listen this it’s inevitable, even the most stable, loving couples find themselves in funny issues that causes crisis.
Part of resolving the issue may be hiding it or fight by way of ignoring each other for weeks but you can't avoid it in especially in true committed relationships, in marriage the stakes can be higher. Crises the very first is after the very first year, meaning crises sure will come cram that inside your brain, they are inevitable and a normal part of a growing relationship. We let these major challenge develop into problem of divorce and or separation. This is sad because with the right counsel you will be able to look at yourself in the right perspective and be willing to tolerate pain for union, couples can turn these crises to time they experience ultimate love and have more fulfilling relationships and sex!.(this issue represent what I tried out in my relationship.I vent my anger on bed mostly evenings!)

How can relationship challenges and crises improve sex? Challenges put us in a fix a position to look truthfully at who we are re planning our course facing the issues about ourselves that need attention and even stand up truthfully to resolving it with our partners.
Am afraid because there’s no guarantee you’ll ever have a relationship like my this process can be personal. Forging through it can empower, energize, and forge a deeper connection with your partner.

When we realize who we are, we will accept responsibility for our limitations, and make necessary changes It is a junction of self realization you don't get to in days! When we feel great about ourselves it helps how appealing we can be to our partners. The hope is that couples can know that there is nothing wrong with them or the relationship – and that there is hope in knowing that what they are going through is a normal and necessary part of their relationship and, if they can tolerate pain for growth, they could come out the other end stronger and more satisfied.

1) Self exoneration when facing a tough conflict with your partner can heat things up (everybody will become Mr right) hold onto sincere values and be honest with yourself (at this moment its not an easy task identifying your shortcomings better consult your mother or a good counselor) if they believe in your relationship

2) Don't be anxious, step down your anxiety

3) Stop think before you do your 'thing' to your partner’s overheat (so when they fly off please stay calm)

4) Be prepared to contain some pain for your growth and your hubby

5) Don't neglect sex if your partner ask for it (during crises period)

6) Hold your faith in him or her don't let your next thought always be court, divorce remember no perfect person out there new people new challenges newer crises.

By doing these six things most always, regardless of whether your partner knew them(you can teach them when the heat is off) you will move toward growth, maturity, improvement in your relationship and even better sex.

I say don't hang in there make up your mind to stay with him/her

Experienced elderly couples can be a blessing to your family make them your official family friend that's why we have lesser broken home in Africa compare to other regions in the world. They can help you navigate your way through the potentially rough waters ahead. If you prefer to talk to a priest, pastor, rabbi, or spiritual counselor it can be very helpful, too. Religious leaders often times have a lot of help.

Finally
Sex shouldn't resemble Naked Twister Although considered not it. It last for few moments, yes but it is the glue that makes your bond stay.
A man beholding a woman through sexual feelings in first attraction is around 60%
Keep yourself sexually attractive especially when you are retiring for bed if hes aroused he will forget that argument at least for the moment please don't bring it up in the middle of it
copyright Foluso Ojoniyi 2011

PLEASE LETS MAKE IT WORK FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CHILDREN

2011-06-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

Seldom the successful marriage is based on the foundation of the development of the child, usually a child will want to copy the parents although we are unique, but sometimes the genes are just stronger, the homes determine usually if there will be a successful relationship or not, although exceptional cases are here and there, a suppressed childhood emotions may boomerang at any moment in the future although this is not an excuse for a relationship that turned out sour.

The warring spouse cannot even stop to think this, because at the moment all that matter to them are their problems, they are saddled with a lot of exceptions. In this piece do not expect theories or ten things that you will do to or not do to make your marriage stand I will only troubleshoot because of the probability of a wider audience.

Problems, or let me say challenges that cause breaking in marriage are myriad, if I deliberately began to discuss them we will have a whole book to read and a counsel session to attend, some of them is sex, extra marital affairs, money, interference from relations, needs, challenges, poor communication, selfish career, negligence, failure, stubbornness, to name a few and usually what greed cannot do infidelity will accomplish.

Let's examine at it from the angle of infidelity you may have listened to this several times but I promise you to look at from a broader angle will make the subject more dangerous than you think. Why infidelity? What causes cheating on one another? This issue that as been a long ageless question on several researches and on several hurting people’s lips. Several numbers of excuses can be traced to be the epicenter.

Many amidst several excuses for infidelity are, because I am in politics I must dance to the tune of my female colleagues to win elections, because my wife did not give me peace in our home, because my spouse is cheating on me, because my degree supervisors... because I needed the job, because I waited on an invited guest speaker, because I needed to ignore my spouse, because I wanted to avoid repeated prying from suitors, because I wanted to avoid conflict.

Avoiding your spouse because of conflict which includes abstinence from food, sex, communication and other responsibilities can never be the solution to this challenges you are facing it will rather deepen the gap. But be careful and observant because infidelity kills and if you are not very observant you may get stung with irrevocable diseases in the process. If you will listen a man that refuses to care about the state of his wife will surely attend to the needs of other peoples wives, vice versa.

Sometimes unfaithfulness is never a symptom of an unstable relationship it may be a result of a jolt in lifestyle some faithful spouses who had done everything possible to make their marriage a bliss have unfaithful partners who will still have affairs because of their own deficiencies. However carelessness, overconfidence, simplicity, over exposure and or naivety robs many of their good homes. Some carelessly expose their hubby to female friends or relations. Some too daring outspoken, desires cheap favor, position, office or cheap attachment will make them succumb to cheap relationships that will shipwreck their marriages, later regretting their unthinkable actions.

Some women will do everything in their power to make the marriage works even going to the extent of living separately without opting for divorce so that their hubbies will have access to the siblings and usually this attitude resulted in resolved differences and better relationship because most of them later came back to live as husband and wife again now experienced.

We need to come to terms that our strong and weak attributes will stay with us to some extent. Wisdom is to celebrate the strong areas and to continuing to concentrate on reducing the effect of the weaker attributes when they rear their stubborn heads, this unusually pops up at unlikely moments. Both of us must go ahead and accept that there are some weaker attributes that do not just go away.

Coming into terms is not an automatic or once for all thing, but we’ll find that we have to renew our vows every time there is a big gap which is seldom in a lifetime. We need to hold on to it during the very dark nights when nothing seems working again realizing this is a popular junction in all relationship and in those funny times when the love seems evaporated, we will need to reenact the promise we made to one another and if your spouse is really behaving like a goat you become a lamb.

Deducing if you think you still love him this can be a product of several years you had put into this relationship considering the fact that if you don’t love one another children would not have come out of your relationship the bond was long enough to produce children then do everything possible to save the emotional balance of your children, do not tell them their dad or mom is bad, they are growing up soon they will be able to tell who is wrong. Do it like the medieval African spouse but be careful, if after all things are not working out protect your children, not by shielding them from seeing their dad or mom but telling them the truth when they are matured enough to fathom it and also remember to tell them you loved him or her but it was just that thing did not work out, children are a good learner they will avoid such pitfall in the future.
copyright Foluso Ojoniyi 2011