Family Squad - Creating. Connecting. Cultivating

Enjoy Life!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 21:02:00 +0000

When you plan to be married for life or fall in love or make plans for anything and think you have met your forever partner or that you have set your appropriate goals you never think of what may happen and well life just happens and you have to do what you have to do. The best word to describe this process is Change! You are forced to make a change and usually it is for the better.

Sometimes it takes time and sometimes you must go through a variation of experiences and attempts to get to your goal, but if you just keep a positive mind set you will attain what you want to. Follow your mind and your heart and make the combination a source of grounding to move forward in your life. Every experience in your life is a way to experience contrast and better define your desired destination. It’s just like eating out at a restaurant, you pick what you want from the menu and unless you taste the dish you won’t know if you like it or not. Once you taste it the next time around your dish will be made to special order or you might decide to try a completely different dish!

Enjoy the varied experiences life has to offer you! Make it a special order EVERYDAY!

What you think of me is none of my business

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:50:00 +0000

"What you think of me is none of my business" is a quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I would like to give some advice to those of you who are what society calls "Single Moms" or maybe you are "Divorced Moms" and of course this advice will also serve many others, men & women alike!

I love this quote as it could not express the truth more accurately. How many times do we fall subject to other people's opinions?! The answer is countless times and well I want to address this regarding several different scenarios.

Scenario Number 1 - The Dating Scene

Ok ladies we all know that these days men are often just trying to get into your pants. Unfortunately they are still guided by primordial instincts that go back to the caveman years and honestly they are very easy to manipulate when you use sex as bait - I mean I think I am stating something that is blatantly obvious & it is even redundant to state this, but there you go.

So apply this quote to dating life. Whatever men think of you is a result of their own psyche, their own experiences, their own ideas, and their own fears & upbringing and of course we can't forget the manipulation of images presented by the media upon their brains. Men will always be men. There are a few that have transcended this & go well beyond the primordial instincts so let's not say this about all of them and really age does not make a difference so never make age a factor. A 20 year old can very well be much wiser than a 50 year old man!

Be confident and choose the man that is right for you. Don't let them choose you - you choose them!

Scenario 2 - The Family Life

We are all surrounded by some type of family members. It can be our children, spouse, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, grandparents. Family Members always have something to say as well about what you should become and well sometimes what they are does not really sit well with what you want to be. So again, and with all due respect, just be you and clearly express yourself as you wish to. You are unique & trying to mold into someone else's idea of what you should be is only going to make you an unhappy camper. Be you! With Respect!

Scenario 3 - The Work Life

If you are doing what you love - Congrats! I desire for all in the world to be following what they truly love & desire, but I know that many are doing just the opposite to "maintain a family" or "pay bills." Again something based on control and the result of man's primordial instincts! Yes 9-5pm can feel like a cage - well unless you love it isn't it??!!!! It sure seems like it.

If your work is your cage make the best of it & don't take it so seriously. Again if your co-workers or your boss are trying to make you conform to something that is not you - Don't take it personal, their thoughts of you is really none of your business!

Be you as long as you are being respectful and doing your job! If your job does not reflect you - WALK ON! The world is full of opportunities & headlines about recessions are only there to bring you down!

Make fun out of a seeming mess or a seeming bad situation. Just enjoy the process and be YOU! Something or someone will always be trying to hold you down, to control you, to manipulate you! Open your eyes! It is not anyone's choice but your own as to how far you let others take you for a ride!

Explore your environment.

Life is beautiful & a great big playing field for you! Create what you want to create!

Always!

Giving it your BEST!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 16:48:00 +0000

Shortly after I became a divorced single mother of 3 I realized that sometimes my best would not be good enough and rather than fight it or manipulate others around me to make it seem like my BEST really was good enough I simply accepted it. In doing this there was a sense of liberation, not only for me, but for my children too.

We live in a world full of demands. Everywhere you turn someone is demanding something from you. It might be your family, your friends, your job, your government, your church, your significant other, your business or your neighbor. All in all everyone somewhere is vying for your attention, your time, or your money.

Do your best to make what you want happen! Do your best to put yourself & your family first. Just do your best for you. If your best is not good enough for those that are around you, be it bosses, co-workers, friends, or family members then perhaps it is time to re-assess your relationships with these people and make a decision about how involved they should be in your life & whether it is time to make a change.

Change is good! Embrace it & surround yourself with people, places, and things that align with your values & your own priorities in life - the rest - as they say is history!

We are ALL Multi Dimensional

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 14:30:00 +0000

Being a mother, a woman, a full time worker, an entrepreneur, an activist, a daughter, a sister, and a friend has made me realize that we all operate in multiple dimensions and that life is a playground with a variety of colors, smells, and ideas to be explored . None of us are only one thing! Even though many of us choose only one focus in our lives or one career, the truth is that we are all multi dimensional playing many different roles every single day of our lives. Because of our current systems we are forced to choose only ONE path in our devotions and force ourselves to stay on this one path, one belief system, one way of doing things all our lives just to make some money. How boring can that be! If you have been blessed by exploring different paths withing your lives, CONGRATULATIONS! I encourage you to explore & do that which makes you feel alive!

I always wonder why it is that people succumb to alcohol & night clubs when these are such bad habits that really are not constructive at all and rather make us become less of what and who we truly are........... and well my conclusion is that it is because people are just trying to escape momentarily the one path that has been forced upon their lives. Yes we sometimes choose this path, but how many times do we choose based on a belief system that we just accepted to be true without any inquiry?

I hope more people will WAKE UP to the beauty the world has to offer! Wake up to all that surrounds us that is constructive, good, and beneficial to our society & humanity as a whole. I mean really who can really “live” doing the same thing every single day of their lives? The thought is just preposterous!

Through Family Squad I really hope to bring people & communities together so we can all appreciate the wonder each one of us has to offer: moms, single moms, dads, single dads, children, businesses, professionals, you name it! We are all here together!

Maria

Single Parents - Become a Member of Family Squad

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 07:46:00 +0000

Hello BLOG followers! We are happy to welcome Dianna Hicks of Sooo Hot Productions as our Director of Events! She will be handling all our event productions to serve our Family Squad community. Save the following dates:

October 13th, 2010 from 6pm to 9pm for a Mom's Night Out. Location TBD
October 23rd, 2010 for a Movie Day with Moms & Kids!

We are calling on all MOMS, DADS, AND SINGLE PARENTS to join our community!

Membership Benefits

* Direction & access to professionals and resources

* Discounts from various & selected businesses

* Option to Receive daily inspirational and motivational e-mail messages

* Social monthly events and workshops

* Become part of a community that Inspires you to be a better you All around

We are family here! CLICK HERE TO JOIN NOW - FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME.

Inspiring and promoting a sense of wellness, happiness and positive values to bring individuals, children, their families, businesses and communities closer together.

Changing Times

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 06:02:00 +0000

In today's world nothing seems to be certain anymore. Everything is changing and that is what is truly going on. Economics, politics, religion, business, nature, global issues and the list goes on and on.

At Family Squad we believe that change is something that must be embraced and cherished. Be flexible in your approaches but keep your priorities straight. We may feel afraid of the unknown but really when change is going on it indicates a new beginning.

Single parent households are often faced with many changes. And the only way out is through. So if there is something changing in your life just make the accommodations you need to make. If you need resources, Family Squad can help, just seek us out.

As Parents we are Responsible

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 05:58:00 +0000

Every day our daily obligations change & we are pulled in many different ways. And more often than not many parents are doing what is best for their children and performing in their daily lives for their children. In other cases this may not be true.

At Family Squad we believe that as parents we need to always put our children first. Even if this means having to put our individual differences aside. Sometimes it is best to be an observer before making hasty decisions. It is always best to look around and assess every situation from every direction in order to make the best decisions for our children.

Single parent households are often faced with higher demands. Join parent groups and talk to others around you if you are a single parent. There is much help out there & sometimes just by socializing you find exactly what you were looking for! So get out there! If you are a married parent open up your heart & mind to today's everchanging family structures and offer your wisdom and support to single parent household seeking guidance. If you need resources or want to socialize, Family Squad can help, just seek us out.

Always stay POSITIVE! Positive thinking will get you to your destination quicker and happier! And always put your children first!

Who is your Family?

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 05:56:00 +0000

As our lives change and we are presented with new people, new opportunities, new beginnings, and new ideas we should always keep our family's well being at the forefront.

At Family Squad we believe that no matter how much changes there is one constant, our family. What is our family nowadays? It has evolved to mean much more than our immediate family. Sometimes we have friends or co-workers we call family. Sometimes it is an extended family member or a group of friends. It can even mean our professional business provider or the owner of a business in our neighborhood. A Family consists of a group that reflects and shares your same values.

Be yourself and cultivate the person you truly are because those around are always going to try to make you as they are and not as you truly want to be. Follow your inner self and be who you are. You will reflect yourself in those around you and you will notice that those around you will be those that share your same values. If the do not then they simply do not have a place in your life and it is OK to let them go.

At Family Squad we welcome like minded individuals and businesses into our family. Family Squad is a Family.
Family Squad is Creating, connecting, and cultivating family values. Our definition of Family Values - A mutual respect between all members of a family. A mutual consideration for the needs of all members of the family.
Join Family Squad Now! As a business or as an individual.
Together we can be and do more!

The Mainstream Culture

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 05:54:00 +0000

The era we are living in is obviously a very complex one. The majority of individuals are swayed by the already existing and long time established habits of our time. These may be habits related to family, work, religion, or personal beliefs. The fact is that these habits and beliefs influence the majority of people through our political, educational, legal, and social systems. Often times our habits either bring us together or separate us.

At Family Squad we are working on establishing the habit of Family Values among our members, our professional providers and our business network. We extend this belief to all who join us. We strive to create, connect, and cultivate family values. We define family values as a mutual respect between all members of a family and a mutual consideration for the needs of all members of the family.

Whether you join us as an individual, a business, or a professional you are part of the Family here at Family Squad and as an individual member rest assured that anywhere you go within our business network you can consider them your Family!
Join Family Squad Now! As a business or as an individual.

Together we can be and do more!

Empathy in our World

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 05:36:00 +0000

If you look around you will notice that businesses have done their share to eliminate empathy as part of their practices. If you do research on the biggest corporate giants you will find that much of their profits come as a result of eliminating empathy and merely viewing people as numbers because it is only the bottom line that counts. There are many exceptions to this, but the mainstream has really made this the goal.

At Family Squad we seek to create a mixture of both and increase the balance to create a mutual respect among individuals and companies and as a company we want to encourage this and be an example. We care about parents and families from all walks of life & want to encourage the same for parents through our social club.

Single parents & families we are here to expand & enrich your lives as a FAMILY! Browse through our list of providers should you need services.

Join Family Squad Now! As a business or as an individual.
Together we can be and do more!

Join us on Facebook

Join us on Twitter!

Businesses Join the Family Squad network - Become a Family to your customers! We want to bring people together through business and encourage Family Values in our community!

Join NOW here is the application:

Business Benefits!

Single Mom - The only thing left to do is Take Charge - Now get to it!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:56:00 +0000

Now you may be a single mom because you got pregnant had a baby and were never married. You may also be a single mother because you were married and were then divorced. You may also have become a single mother because you are widowed. Or perhaps you are one of the newest breed of modern day single mothers and decided to impregnate yourself by purchasing sperm at a sperm bank. Whatever path got you here, the fact is you are a single mother. And as you know the world of single mothers is a world that stands on its own.

This day in age single mothers are a new breed because single mothers can be found in all walks of life. Single mothers can be any religion, any ethical background, of any race, of any financial background, of any profession. A new group that has really been around for a long time. Yes society has long told us that being a single mother is a negative. Society has long created a stigma related to single mothers, but this is all it is, a stigma.

If you give some thought to this stigma you may try to rationalize why it was created. Is it easy to be a single mother? Do you put yourself first? Do you often have to give of yourself? Do you often end up shortchanged because of putting your children first? Now in a society where selfishness and pleasure is often put first and advertised heavily, giving of yourself is seen as inferior, having less to give more of yourself to others is looked down upon. And well perhaps this is why they hold this stigma.

And many of you many or may not think that you are in this position because you did not put yourself first. I would have to believe that this is something many of us have done. We have put ourselves last and while this is a great thing to do from the heart, it often causes you to lose yourself and who you really are. So putting yourself first is not always such a bad thing, putting yourself first is the smart thing to do while keeping your responsibilities and children at the top of your priorities.

Live, love, laugh & be responsible!

Family Squad New and Refreshed!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 23 May 2010 05:28:00 +0000

I am proud to announce the new and refreshed look of Family Squad. You have known us as a leader for Single mothers. Today we serve single parents and families within the demands of today's ever changing family structures and busy lifestyles.

Family Squad is a social club offering a business network for professional single parents and families in furtherance of Creating, Connecting, and Cultivating Family Values as Family Squad defines them!

Take a look at our new website.

Stay tuned for all of our upcoming events, newsletters, and happenings!

CLICK HERE FOR OUR LATEST NEWSLETTER!

Best,

Maria

Parents - In our Public Schools - YOU are the clients!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 05:08:00 +0000

On April 26, 2010, Superintendent Alberto Carvalho made an appearance at Barnes and Noble (Kendall Location) to address concerns and talk to parents, teachers, and students in the community. During his appearance, Superintendent Carvalho addressed many important issues and also addressed specific concerns from those in the audience, including myself.

In this blogpost I will try to summarize the discussions we had with the Superintendent. Miami Dade County Public Schools is the 4th Largest District in the Nation and during his 16 month term as Superintendent MDCPS has had to run a 5 billion dollar budget on 4 million dollars. Mr. Carvalho stressed the importance of acquiring Race to the Top grant funds from the Federal government.

On Students in General

Mr. Carvalho stated that we must consider the children's environment and emphasize Respect, Restraint, and Responsibility as well as have less concern for teaching to test and work on maintaining Physical education, Art, Music, and Gifted programs in our schools. He also mentioned that children learn at different rates and have different styles of learning. I could not agree more! For children with disabilities we should have the least possible restrictive environment.

On Parents as Clients & Needing Parents to Help Out

As parents we need to contact our legislators and voice our concerns regarding excessive accountability standards being imposed on our children. There is disregard for the different ways children learn in this black and white system of scoring students. During this discussion, Julia Figuerola discussed her concerns as a parent. She discussed how her daughter being a bright child was being discouraged from learning at a 2nd grade level and from this young age due to the impositions of teaching to test and disregarding the child as an individual.

On School Funding

It is about priorities. The Florida Constitution states that Public Education is a right to all and we must exercise this right! As a state we need to keep our priorities in check. Mr. Carvalho pointed out that the state spends about $36,000 per State prisoner, but only about $6,000 per Student!!!

As property values decrease it is obvious that funding to the schools has decreased as well since a great portion of our property taxes are allocated for school funding. So this brought me to ask the following question....What other sources of funding are being considered? In a nutshell the answer from Mr. Carvalho was that he would not want to impose additional taxes for school funding. There are some grants being received for additional funding.

I say that the school board should get creative and look to the business community for funding by implementation of creative theme based educational programs. How, where, and how? I have many ideas, but we must move one step at a time!

In his own words, we need an "Awakening of Populist Common Sense."

Parents, stay informed! Stay up to date with all the developments happening with regards to your children's education.

“A passive and ignorant citizenry will never create a sustainable world.” -Andrew Gaines

Dating

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 01:38:00 +0000

Oh my goodness, where do I start? In this world dating is like a jungle. You never know what is going to pop out of the bushes. You certainly cannot be open to everyone that seems to court you or flirt with you. Exercise caution and always guide yourself by First Impressions. A first impression never lies. In my experience it has always been accurate and if I don't go with my first instinct I usually find myself trying to convince myself that something is true when I knew all along how it really was.

Just trust yourself and save yourself the time of trying to discover what you already knew.

Just a few things to consider:

1. Would I want this person around my children?
2. How does this person treat his mother and family?
3. Observe gestures, comments, and writing styles.

and keep in mind that how a person does anything is how they do everything. Little gestures can say more than any word or action. Just be vigilant.

If you want to take it a step further do a google search, property search, or person search on your local court's website. It is typically free and can really help you get a little background information. It is best to know who you are dealing with.

All in all, I think the little gestures will speak louder than anything else. Tone of voice, hand movements, facial expressions, the way someone looks at you, and body movement and gestures. After all research has shown that what we communicate is 93% non-verbal and only 7% verbal.

Be vigilant & only allow what you choose to allow & accept only what you want to accept. No less, no more.

Happy dating!

Children, Education, & Our Responsibility

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 04:01:00 +0000

As parents I believe we are responsible in all aspects related to the well being of our children. Single parents, married, divorced, widowed, whatever.....our children have to come first and we must be aware of what our government is doing. In case you forgot we have Congress, the Senate, and the House of Representatives who make decisions on our behalf. If we really want to make a difference we have to know what is going on and know who we are dealing with.

Recently Senate Bill 6 was passed in the Florida Senate and is now going to the house. As a former teacher in Miami-Dade County Public Schools I cannot state my opposition to this bill any further.

I have been writing to each one of the Florida Senators & letting them know my views on Senate Bill 6. I am disappointed in the 21 that said YES and grateful for the 17 that said NO. I am extremely disappointed in my fellow Republicans who voted for this & especially disappointed in Diaz de la Portilla for supporting this bill.

Why is this bad legislation for Children & Teachers?

"We need your help not because of politics, but because this is just bad legislation that will devastate the schools across our state.

SB 6

Here are just a few examples of what this bill does:

* Removes Local Accountability. SB 6 says "political appointees in Tallahassee know best" and removes discretion from principals and locally elected school boards by setting arbitrary standards and policies that punish teachers and kids.
* Forces Increases in Local Taxes. Local school districts that choose to allow principals to evaluate teachers will have state funding stripped - forcing a mandatory increase in local taxes to pay for massive reductions in funding for local public schools.
* Punishes Good Teachers. The Atwater/Thrasher plan devalues real classroom experience, advanced training (like National Board Certification) and skill building by dedicated educators, making it illegal to evaluate teachers based on how long they have served as an effective teacher or even their experience as an educator.
* Punishes Disadvantaged Children. Perhaps the cruelest element of their plan actually encourages teachers to give up on "difficult" or "challenging" children. Under the Atwater/Thrasher bill, teachers who teach "troubled kids" - those kids most likely to have the lowest test scores - are much more likely to face massive pay cuts or be forced out of teaching altogether. Therefore, many teachers will have no choice but to try to have the most challenging kids moved out of their classroom." This section quoted from this website.

Please keep helping STOP SENATE BILL 6 AND ITS HOUSE COMPANION BILL!

THIS IS SIMPLY BAD LEGISLATION FOR CHILDREN & TEACHERS!!!

Stay involved! It is easy - Find your representatives in the website. Just enter your zip code!! Write to the House first!

In case you are interested here is the list of the Florida Senators who voted for and against this horrible Bill!!!!

READ MORE ABOUT SENATE BILL 6 HERE

Family Values

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 04:23:00 +0000

What do we define as Family Values? In today's world it is not easy to say. Does it mean having a family unit consisting of a Father and Mother that are married to each other and Children born of that marriage where the two parents are still together? Traditional old family values would say yes.

We at Family Squad think this ideal view of a Family is quite antiquated and no longer applies to the world we live in. At Family Squad we define Family Values as a mutual respect and mutual consideration between the members of a family or household. A union of the family unit working together in the best interests of the household especially the CHILDREN.

Some examples of Modern Day Family Units:

* Single Mothers living with children part time of full time
* Divorced Single Mothers living with children part time of full time
* Single Fathers living with children part time of full time
* Divorced Single Fathers living with children part time of full time
* Gay/Lesbian couples living with adopted children
* Stepparents living with significant others' children
* Families living with adopted children
* Single mothers with children born of artificial insemination
* Foster parents living with foster children

The variations are many. While there is much room to discuss controversial topics, the bottom line is that there are CHILDREN involved! This being the case we stand by our definition of FAMILY VALUES found above.

It is necessary to cultivate these children in the spirit of unity & collaboration for their own good and for that of all members of the household.

So are you a broken family if you are missing a dad or a mom or a "real dad" or a "real mom"? We say NO. By sticking to your family unit & sticking together to the end you can be a fully functional family unit despite the existence of old traditional views.

Is it best to have both parents involved? We say YES! And again, in the spirit of unity & collaboration.

Legal & Child Support Resources in Georgia

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 12:09:00 +0000

Recently I had a mom who needed some direction in the state of Georgia. I was able to provide the following guidance with regards to the legal system in Georgia as it pertains to child support, divorce issues, and obtaining legal advice. If you are in Georgia this may be of some help to you.

The State Bar of Georgia has a pro-bono project that you may want to look into.
http://www.gabar.org/programs/pro_bono_project/. They may be able to give you some guidance.

Also here is general information on divorce and child support proceedings.
http://www.gabar.org/communications/consumer_pamphlet_series/divorce/

The Georgia Child Support Commission website will also offer some good resources for you.
http://www.georgiacourts.org/csc/.
This one includes child support worksheets.

Also take a look at this link which has contact information for programs offering legal services.
http://www.georgiacourts.org/csc/links.html

Children & Families First!! End Needless Litigation in the Family Courts!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 18:46:00 +0000

PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION

1) TO END NEEDLESS LITIGATION IN THE FAMILY COURTS;
2) BEGIN A COLLABORATIVE EFFORT AMONG CHILDREN AND FAMILIES IN ALL FAMILY LAW MATTERS.

BECAUSE CHILDREN NEED PARENTS AT PEACE & HARMONY TO FUNCTION TO THE BEST OF THEIR ABILITIES!

HELP SPREAD THE WORD TO GET A COLLABORATIVE LAW STATUTE IMPLEMENTED IN FLORIDA!!!!! Many, many, many, many thanks!!! Please click all the way through after signing to make sure your signature is ADDED!

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/FamilySquadforSingleMothersChildrenAndFamilies

TOGETHER WE CAN BE AND DO MORE.
Family Squad
www.joinfamilysquad.com

Single Moms & the Legal System

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 11:42:00 +0000

On Wednesday, March 4, 2010 I stood up in the family court and took a definitive stand while I presented a statement to Judge Scott Bernstein of the Family Court Division at a specially set hearing. A stand for the approximately 69,000* single mothers in Miami-Dade County Florida. The most definite statements I presented to the judge were the following:

I will no longer stand for a legal system which allows attorneys to exploit the family courts at the expense of children and families; and

I state that ALL Family Law Attorneys should be required to practice Collaborative Family Law because the well being and benefit of Children and Families should always come FIRST!

There are many benefits to the practice of Collaborative Family Law and in 2001, Texas was the first state to adopt a collaborative-law statute. More about it here: http://www.collaborativefamilylawfl.com/article-smoother-road.html.

I believe we need to stand together to create a Collaborative Law statute here in Florida! We must act NOW! I am calling on ALL single mothers who have their children’s best interests at heart & those who support single mothers, children, and families! We need your support!

We need you to spread the word that Collaborative Family Law is in the best interests of Single Parent Families, Children, and Families as a whole.

Maria T. Santi
Advocate for Single mothers, Children, and Families

Here is a Statement of Principles on Collaborative Family Law.
http://www.collaborativefamilylawfl.com/principles.html

*U.S. Census Bureau 2000

Family Squad
www.joinfamilysquad.com

TOGETHER WE CAN DO AND BE MORE. JOIN US.

SIGN MY ONLINE PETITION TO SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Is the Legal System Working for Single Moms?

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:59:00 +0000

I continually have many inquiries regarding the legal system. Most of the time, this is the area that presents the greatest challenge for single moms. Many have told me that a system that should be HELPING them actually serves to work against them! Is this a great big lie or a great big truth? In my experience, I can give real life examples of how the Family court's legal system has worked against me and the benefit of my children. At times though, I must say that it has helped, but I had to stand up and pay.

Many other moms have told me the same thing. In general the way the story goes is, I get charged thousands in attorney's fees, the ex-husband has selfish needs, and the court applies the law to facts that are really not facts! The ex-husband pays attorney's fees instead of child support and the real needs of the children are ignored. So often the moms with the best of intentions for the kids, get cheated in the legal system. The ones that lack resources are the ones left behind and when there are children involved this should not be so! Things need to change to always put CHILDREN FIRST!

The legal system works for many and in many areas of law it is essential, but when it comes to Family Law the legal system lacks much. In an area full of emotions and the well being of human beings, much needs to be done. Judges' need to look less at case law and more at the actual scenario because they often overlook what single mothers have to go through. Being stringent with case law and facts is best in other areas of the law, not here.

Overall I think the courts are starting to realize this and so are Family attorneys, but really much still needs to be done. Below are links to a few groups of collaborative family law attorneys who believe in less litigation and getting straight to the point - SETTLE FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE CHILDREN AND THE FAMILY. That is how it should be!

http://www.collaborativefamilylawfl.com/index.html
http://www.collaborativelawflorida.com

More on Collaborative Family Law here:
http://collaborativefamlaw.com/site/page.asp?id=45

If you or you know a single mom that may have a simple story to say on how the family law legal system has helped or hurt everyday living or the children's well being, share it here, because we need to know and stand up to make the legal system work for the benefit of CHILDREN FIRST in the family court systems!

Tax Deductions for Dependents

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 21:14:00 +0000

As a single mom it is important to know who is claiming the children as dependents for income tax purposes. For some, claiming more dependents maximizes the amount of the return received after filing income taxes but of course this may vary. It is always important to seek the advice of a qualified accountant.

In my experience I have learned that tax deductions (for the children) are usually claimed by the custodial parent unless you enter into some kind of agreement that states otherwise.

For example, when I entered into the Marital Settlement Agreement after my divorce the agreement was silent as to who would claim the children on their tax returns, so this then meant that I was able to claim all of my children on my tax returns. After a few years we entered into another agreement that addressed this issue and in this agreement we decided how we were going to share the deductions. So on the odd years I claim x child and on the even years father claims x child. The custodial parent who does not take the deduction would have to fill out an IRS form stating he/she is not claiming the deduction on x year.

Check out this link on the IRS website:

http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq/0,,id=199711,00.html

It will explain the process of deductions on taxes.

Best,

Maria

Ann Coulter Does NOT know the new era of Single Mothers and their Children

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:37:00 +0000

In a recent television show Ann Coulter blamed single mothers for producing children guilty of rape and murder and blaming single mothers for the majority of society’s problems. She believes that single mothers are responsible for much of society’s problems, mainly crime and violence because of the lack of a male figure in the home. She has said that single moms by giving birth to "illegitimate babies that are raised without fathers" are therefore responsible for daily murders and rapes, as well as 70% of the men in prison.

During her appearance on the Today show with Matt Lauer she said:
"Look at any societal problem, and it is a problem of single motherhood." And has also said single moms are "an endless attack on the nuclear family."

The name of her new book has a chapter devoted to her opinions on single mothers. I do not wish to promote it on my blog, just know that she is circulating her outrageous and negative comments as if it applies to single mothers in general.

My opinion on this is that:

With the millions of single mothers in our nation, Ann Coulter has acted in a way which lowers
a woman’s self-esteem when what they need is to be empowered. Let’s stand together and let the world know that even as a single mother, you are a success and you can soar to achieve what youmost want in life. We cannot allow others to keep labeling single motherhood as a societal problem, rather show society that you are an empowered successful woman and that other single mothers are capable of the same success. Or allow children of single mothers to be attacked in this way.

We must work to create and sustain family values regardless of the gender or number of people in the household, one parent or two parents, we must work to keep family values alive regardless of the circumstances that are presented! Family values can exist in a one parent household or in a two parent household because a value is not defined by any number.

Empowering single mothers and children of single mothers!

Let’s create a positive wave of influence in the lives of single mothers and their children in our nation and in our world.

JOIN THE MOVEMENT AT:

www.joinfamilysquad.com

Comment on this post to some of the following questions:

How does this make you feel as a single mother?

Talk to us about your success as a single mother.

Don’t you think she is maintaining the past stigma of single mothers alive by saying these things?

Not only have single mothers been insulted, but children have been attacked.

Do you really think single moms are to blame for all of society’s ills?

References:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2009/01/ann-coulter.html
http://www.momlogic.com/2009/01/single_mothers_to_blame_for_so.php
http://www.parentdish.com/2009/01/07/ann-coulter-blames-single-moms-for-rape-murder/

Life is what you make it

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:29:00 +0000

During these uncertain economic times many people may be experiencing differences and some lack in what they were used to. Yes we are in a recession, yes things are economically different. I encourage single mothers to focus on the positive. It may or may not be a walk in the park for you and most of the time we know it is not as single moms, but life really is what you make it. If the state of the economy has directly affected your circumstances I encourage you to focus on what you do have and what is working right in your life.

Look forward and count your blessings. Seek guidance and accept help from friends, co-workers, family, or government entities. There are many resources out there.

And I leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but does not get you anywhere."

Be proactive and make a plan of action to improve your circumstances no matter what they are. When you start to focus on a set of solutions you can only move forward.

Best,

Maria

Allow Your Children to Be

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 06:20:00 +0000

Many times as parents we set certain expectations for our children. We want them to do things our way, to see the world through our eyes, and to believe in things as we believe in them. As a parent, I think this is a fundamental mistake. Our children are beings of their own. They have their own ideas, their own personality, their own value to add to the world. While we must set limits while teaching them good moral values and respect, it is equally important to allow them to flourish in their individual capacity. Foster this and be their guide. Children are progressive beings which sprout well when properly nurtured. Here is a great excerpt from the book "The Prophet" by one of my all time favorite authors, Kahlil Gibran, which sums this up very well.

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Children and You Come First

noreply@blogger.com (Maria) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 05:49:00 +0000

I know that as a single parent much of the time it is difficult to balance many of life's daily chores and happenings and I have written about this before. I am a big believer in always putting yourself and your children first. Yes it is true as single mothers we must be a mother, a woman, a professional, a partner to a significant other in some circumstances, a friend, daughter, a sister, and the list goes on and on....Throughout my years as a single mom I have learned to prioritize better and to focus on what brings peace to my household. Better yet, I have acted upon those things. If I am happy the children are happy. If the children are happy the household is well balanced and stable.

I hear many moms complain about little things, the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, the picking up of toys, etc...There is just not enough time in the day! Quite a cliche! Would you rather focus on these things or on spending time with your children? Would you rather focus on these things or on pampering yourself and have some "me" time? I know you would rather choose the latter.

Does peace of mind have a price? I would say no. So what do I do to give myself time and to give my children time? I teach the children to be independent and to fend for themselves. I ask for help, I accept help and when need be I pay for help. So, hire a cleaning lady to clean your house, you've got better things to do, like give that time to your children...Hire someone to bring food to your house or dine at a relative's house, treat yourself and your children to a nice dinner a few times a month. Keep yourself pampered with manicured hands and feet, fun gym classes, small gifts to yourself, and spa treatments every once in a while. Plan for that family vacation! Add quality to your life with the things that you like to do! You'll be much happier and so will your children.

If some of you are thinking that this is not in your budget, think again! Focus on putting your energy only into obtaining things that are essential for you and your children in your life and no matter what your income may be, I guarantee you that if you stick to placing your energy in the form of dollars only to what is essential you will always have what you need and more!

Need tips on how to do it? I'm just a click away! Email me at maria@joinfamilysquad.com.