Famous Jokes

Monkeys VS CATS (HD) [Trip Burger Pets]

2016-12-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

Monkeys VS Cats - They are so Funny!

अरे हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा

2016-03-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

⚠🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸🔸

अरे हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा

गैरों में कहाँ दम था

मेरी हड्डी वहाँ टूटी

जहाँ हॉस्पिटल बन्द था

मुझे जिस एम्बुलेन्स में डाला

उसका पेट्रोल ख़त्म था

मुझे रिक्शे में इसलिए बैठाया

क्योंकि उसका किराया कम था

मुझे डॉक्टरों ने उठाया

नर्सों में कहाँ दम था

मुझे जिस बेड पर लेटाया

उसके नीचे बम था

मुझे तो बम से उड़ाया

गोली में कहाँ दम था

और मुझे सड़क में दफनाया

क्योंकि कब्रिस्तान में फंक्शन था

(भयंकर शायरी)

Biwi Special (बीवी स्पेशल)

2015-10-29T13:11:00.003-07:00

1. मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ

की मांग पूरी करते-करते,

अब मांग-मांग के खा रहा हूँ..

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2. पापा: बेटी, बड़ी हो के क्या करोगी?

बेटी: शादी...

पापा: गलत बात है...

अभी से किसी का बुरा नहीं सोचते.!

***********************

3. पति ने पान खरीद के पत्नी को खाने के लिए दिया.

पत्नी: अरे...

आप ने तो अपने लिए लिया ही नहीं..!

पति: में तो ऐसे ही खामोश रह सकता हूँ..

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4. बीवी क्या होती है?

बीवी भगवन के प्रसाद जैसे होती है,

जिसमे चाहते हुए भी कोई नुक्स नहीं निकाल सकते;

श्रद्धा और मज़बूरी के साथ चुपचाप खाए जाओ...!

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5. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पुरुषो को अप्सराए मिलती है..

औरतो को क्या मिलता है?

पति: कुछ नहीं; उपरवाला सिर्फ दुखी लोगो की ही सुनता है..!

**********************

6. पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पति-पत्नी को साथ में रहेने नहीं देते...

पति: पगली, तभी तो उसे स्वर्ग कहेते है.!

***********************

7. मतदान करने के लिए उम्र 18 साल, और शादी के लिए 21 साल...

ऐसा क्यू?

क्यू की, सरकार जानती है, की

बीवी संभालना,

वो मुल्क सँभालने ज्यादा मुश्किल है.!

***********************

8. FRIEND is- Asian Paints = जो दुनिया बदल दे...

GIRLFRIEND is- Everest Masala = जो टेस्ट में बेस्ट...

WIFE is-- Mosquito Coil जो कोने-कोने से ढूंढ के मारे !

***********************

9. ज़िन्दगी के शुरुआत "S" से होती है:

S से सूरज, सुबह, शाम, समय,....

उसके बाद: S से सगाई, शादी, फिर सांस, ससुर, साला, साली,

और फिर सत्यiनाश.!

***********************

10. पति: डार्लिंग, तुम खूबसूरत होती जा रही हो...

पत्नी (खुश हो कर, रसोईघर में से): तुमने कैसे जाना?

पति: तुम्हे देख कर रोटियां भी जलने लगी है..

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11. किसी को उसके फटे हुए जूते, मैले कपडे, पुरानी घडी, उतरा हुआ मुंह,.

इत्यादि चीजो से उसे गरीब ना मानो....

हो सकता है, की वो आदमी शादीशुदा हो.

***********************

12. बहनकी बिदाई पर छोटा भाई बोला:

“पापा, दीदी रो रही है लेकीन जीजु तो नही रो रहे !

“बेटा, दीदी गेट तक रोएगी, जीजु कब्र तक रोएगा.”

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13. एक आदमी ज्योतिषसे बोला.“मेरी शादी क्यों नही हो रही है?

ज्योतिष बोला,“कैसे होगी पगले?

कुन्डलीमें सुख ही सुख जो लीखा है!

***********************

14. मरीझ: उम्र लम्बी करनेका कोई तरीका बताईये|

डॉक्टर: शादी कर लो

मरीझ: ईससे उम्र लम्बी हो जायगी?

डॉक्टर: नही,पर दो फायदे जरुर होंगे...

१. लम्बी झिदगीकी ख्वाईश खत्म हो जायेगी |

२. बची-कूची झिंदगी लम्बी लगने लगेगी

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15. पत्नी: जानु, क्या मैं तुम्हारे सपनोमें आती हूं?

पति: बिलकुल नही |

पत्नी: क्यों ?

पति: मैं हनुमान चालीसा पठकर सोता हूं |

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16. अविवाहित लडका: मुझे शादी नही करनी, मुझे सब औरतो से डर लगता है |

पिता: कर ले बेटा,

फिर एक ही औरत से डर लगेगा और बाकी सब अच्छी लगेगी |

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17. पति: तेरे बापकी जले पर नमक छीडकनेकी आदत गई नही |

पत्नी: क्यों क्या हुआ?

पति: आज फिर से पूछ रहा था,

“मेरी बेटीसे शादी करके खुश तो हो ना?”

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Smile

2015-02-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

Smile

Latest Jokes by Kumar Vishwas in Hisar (Hindi) (720p HD)

2014-08-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Watch out live jokes and poem of Kumar Vishwas in Hisar during his visit to Panchayat Bhawan (Hisar) on 15 December 2013.

Kumar Vishwas is a well-known Hindi Poet and a professor of Hindi Literature from Pilkhuwa, Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh.

Vishvas is a Poet of Hindi language. He is a poet of Shringara-Ras (Romantic Genre). He has participated in several Kavi sammelan and is a very renowned poet.

His fan communities on social networking websites like Facebook have largest number of fans as compared to other Hindi poets.

Besides being a known face among Hindi-knowing people across the world as a Poet, Dr Kumar Vishvas has been involving himself in several Social works and political movements like AAP.

Vishvas has been performing regularly in Kavi sammelan all over India and abroad. Besides performing in almost all parts of India, Dr Kumar Vishvas has also performed in countries like USA, Dubai, Singapore, Japan, Muscat, Abu Dhabi, Nepal.

सत्य वचन (Reality of Life)

2014-08-29T14:22:00.001-07:00

सत्य वचन (Reality of Life)

Kitty feeling Lazy

2014-05-25T02:16:00.001-07:00

Kitty feeling Lazy

Rahul Gandhi Congress's Hasiba B. Amin Spoof Dhongress Har Hath Lollypop...

2014-03-10T02:35:00.001-07:00

Har Hath Lollypop, Har Hath Revdi (Rahul Gandhi Congress's Hasiba B. Amin Spoof) (Funny) (Hindi)

Kapil Sharma and Bharti Singh's Comedy at CCL Glam Night 2013

2013-11-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

Watch Bharti Singh and Kapil Sharma's comedy at Celebrity Cricket League 2013.

Funny Cat

2013-11-05T14:51:00.001-08:00

Funny Cat

Dr. Kumar Vishwas Out Of Control Commedy - Spring Fest 2011, IIT Kharagpur

2013-08-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hindi Shayri by Dr Kumar Vishwas (IIT Kharagpur) (Spring Fest, 2011)

I am in your car… Dying.

2013-06-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

I am in your car… Dying.

She knew my Facbook Password!

2013-03-06T04:34:00.002-08:00

She knew my Facbook Password!

The Bathtub Test

2013-03-06T04:24:00.000-08:00

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a tea-spoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No.” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Bihar School Teacher's killer English

2013-03-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin!
Both of you three, stand together separately!
Will you hang that calendar or I'll "Hang Myself!"
Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father!
Why are you looking at the monkey outside when Im in the class...?
I have 2 daughters: both are girls.
Stand in the middle of the corner!

The common man finally gets his way

2013-03-02T13:24:00.002-08:00

The Common Man finally gets his Way.

Worst Day of Life

2013-03-02T13:22:00.001-08:00

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half-hour.

Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.

First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,

I found out it was stolen.

The police, they said they couldn't do anything.

I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.

I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener.

I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

angry german kid

2013-03-02T13:11:00.001-08:00

Angry German Kid

Funny Letter to Santa Claus

2013-01-01T12:06:00.004-08:00

Funny Letter to Santa Claus

Application for Employment (Funny Letter)

2013-01-01T12:03:00.000-08:00

Application for Employment (Funny Letter)

Bride for My Son

2013-01-01T12:01:00.000-08:00

Bride for My Son

Interview of Santa

2013-01-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

Interviewer : Let me check your word Power.
Santa : Okay Sir.
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of good.
Santa : Bad
Interviewer : Come
Santa : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Santa : Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
Santa : UGLYYYYYYYYY.
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Santa : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : Okay now stop all this.
Santa : Now carry on all this.
Interviewer : What the Hell is wrong with you?
Santa : What the heaven is right with you.
Interviewer : Get Out.
Santa : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Santa : Oh my Devil.
Interviewer : You are Rejected.
Santa : I m selected...

Thank you so much Sir!

Letter from Husband (who is abroad) to Wife

2013-01-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Sweetheart,

I can not send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart

Your husband,

Arun

His wife replied back after some days to her husband :

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items……. ….

5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please do not worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart

Killing English

2013-01-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

Principal to student..." I saw you yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "
Class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
Once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."
"Don't Try To Talk In Front Of My Back.."
Don't..laugh at the back benches...other wise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. And then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
Teacher in a furious mood... write down your name and father of your name!!
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
My manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
"Will you hang that calendar or else I’ll hang myself"
Librarian Scolde ," If u will talk again , I will kneel down outside"
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father.
"Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
Once teacher told "If you Talk so loudly I will stand uping you"
Teacher to students: don’t spit outside, the understanding people will suffer
I have 3 daughters, All are girl.

A Letter of Banta Singh to Bill Gates about Windows Problem?

2013-01-01T11:16:00.000-08:00

Microsoft's Bill Gates decided to invest further in Punjab after receiving a letter from Mr Banta Singh.

To : Bill Gates, Microsoft
Date : 1 April 2011
Subject : Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice..

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot to trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when will you provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when will you provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single picture of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC only at home.

8. You provide 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after office hours.

Regards,

Last one Mr. Bill Gates

PS : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?