fantasmagorique

Sunday Links

2011-09-25T23:29:00.012+02:00

Don`t cry over spit milk, they say. Well, I haven`t cried this morning when I overboiled the milk until it almost blew away, but I thought it was the sign for a really bad day. Apparently, I was wrong.
I`ve spent it all alone under an incredible September sun, surrounded by all things that make me feel good (my camera, a book, my text-book, my drawing-book and my music), I`ve just seen a perfect movie in the oldest yet most comfortable and cozy cinema in Amsterdam and now, turning on my favorite radio station (which I discovered on my last day in Barcelona, in a taxi towards the airport), I can hear only the Doors - "una banda irrepetible e unica"!
However, I hope this day is repeatable!

A Total Lack of Inspiration

2011-09-23T14:08:00.009+02:00

Life without men means I have to do all the boring stuff. Such as: paying bills, solving internet connection problems, taking out the garbage, bringing in correspondence, unclogging the shower...
It also means I have to buy all the boring stuff to keep me company. Such as: TV (and you should know by now how much I like watching television), speakers, cables...
I am definitely in the most boring moment of my life. A total lack of inspiration.

De ce nu ma uit la televizor

2011-09-20T01:36:00.005+02:00

Nu aveam mai mult de 5-6 ani cand, la bunici fiind, am fost cu mamaie la o inmormantare. Se petrecea intr-un sat din Sudul tarii, intr-o zi ale carei caracteristici nu mi le mai amintesc absolut deloc.
Ce imi amintesc insa extrem de bine sunt detalii precum : remorca, babutele cu batic jelind mortul, coroanele de flori, batistele, lumanarile, claxoanele, mainile impreunate la piept…
Cortegiul a ajuns intr-un final pe un deal, iar mortul a fost coborat in pamant si acoperit cu tarana.
Imi amintesc foarte bine sunetul pe care bolovanii de pamant il faceau atingand lemnul cosciugului. Mi-l amintesc pentru ca m-a marcat, evident, suficient de mult, daca si acum, la mai bine de 25 de ani de la eveniment, mi-l pot reprezenta cu atata limpezime.
Acela a fost momentul cand, pentru prima data, am realizat ce este – mai bine spus, cat este – viata. Ma uitam la acea groapa, vedeam dealul, satul undeva in zare, omul ce disparea dintre noi pentru totdeauna. Da, asta m-a cutremurat cel mai mult: pentru totdeauna. Niciodata un avea sa se mai intoarca.
Ma imaginam pe mine in locul lui, acolo, sub cutia de lemn, sub pamantul apasator, incapabila sa vad, sa respir si sa ma misc, incapabila sa scap.
De multe ori imi revine in minte aceasta imagine cand ma gandesc la viata mea, la deciziile pe care le iau, la dorintele pe care le am. Este motivul pentru care nu ma pot resemna aproape niciodata. Este motivul pentru care ma zbat, pentru care ma incapatanez si pentru care lupt.. Cu mine insami, dar si cu oamenii care sunt importanti pentru mine si care nu par sa inteleaga ca viata nu e facuta pentru a fi spectator, ci pentru a te bucura de ea in fiecare clipa.
De aceea imi doresc atatea. De aceea nu am stare. De aceea nu ma multumesc cu putin.
A inceput in urma cu 25 de ani intr-un sat prafuit, continua si acum, aici, oriunde.

Amsterdam

2011-09-13T13:22:00.020+02:00

I got my hair cut by a French,
I had been warned about fraud on the internet by a Polish,
The American makes nice cupcakes,
I was supposed to go and see a movie with a Hungarian,
It`s been a while since I`ve seen my Slovak friend,
I hope to see my Argentinian classmate at the Dutch class today,
I miss the other Argentinian guy who used to practice make-up on my face,
I shared cigarettes with a British,
The Australian lives closeby,
I can`t stand a Russian,
The German says hi every day,
I think the Portuguese left,
The half Swiss - half Thai girl is now living in Australia with her Italian boyfriend,
Maybe I`ll see the German speaking Spanish guy this Saturday,
I took somebody else for the Bulgarian I knew,
I met the Scottish only once,
I think the guy from Venezuela is a really nice person,
I couldn`t believe the Croatian was not American,
The Greek has a very funny way of speaking English,
I like the new Mexican colleague,
The Jamaican likes to go to Alaska for photos,
I wonder what the Lithuanian is doing,
I`ve got a new Japanese classmate,
I know some very nice Dutch people and
I spend most of the time with my Romanian friends.

This Week`s Words of Wisdom

2011-09-13T12:50:00.004+02:00

I still don`t have a cozy feeling about this week-end...

(Everything is) perfect like a Monday morning!

I`m not going to be the person I`m expected to be anymore.

This is the wisdom that passed through my ears this week so far. The non italics are of course my creation...

The Boy With Big Dreams

2011-09-12T23:41:00.008+02:00

The boy with the music instrument...
Stepped in the tram carrying the big brown leather box.
Bended over it between two stations,
Then found an empty chair,
And sat down on it,
With the box gently leaned towards the window.
He was caressing it from time to time,
Like a big treasure was hidding there.
And it was...
The music, his dreams, his everything.
I stepped off the tram
And let the boy with big dreams behind.
His big blue eyes and long blonde hair
Deserved a miracle.

944

2011-09-06T21:41:00.008+02:00

Where did the pure people disappear?

The ones with beautiful minds and sparkling hearts,

The people who do not know what it means to lie, hide and betray...

Where are the beautiful ones?

The ones whose thoughts are equal to their words,

And whose eyes conceal nothing?

Where are the people who respect the human being for what it really is and not for what it seems to be?

Where are they?

Where are the humans, people?

Majestic Moments with Myself

2011-08-09T01:13:00.005+02:00

After more than one month of absence, tonight I was back to school again. Back to the Dutch class, that is! I almost forgot how much I liked being there. Despite the tiredness, despite the weather, despite everything...
After three long hours spent there, I was coming back home at 10.30 PM. Dark, raining, one car passing by from time to time, my footsteps on the wet pavement and a song in my ears telling me that "everything`s not lost".
I celebrated that - whatever it is - with a glass of cold champagne the moment I got back home. For no particular reason, some of the best moments I have happen on Monday... For no particular reason.

Wonder-fool-ing

2011-08-07T15:49:00.002+02:00

the problem with women is they are wonderful
the problem with men is they can`t "wonder" for too long

Saturdays & Sundays-to-come

2011-08-07T00:04:00.009+02:00

I don`t want to think of that moment when the green will turn yellow or red and eventually disappear... I hope it is still far away!
Cause it`s simply wonderful to take your book and go read it somewhere outside, surrounded by Summer`s vegetation, temperatures and sounds...
That being said, I don`t remember how I ended at this place in Vondelpark today, but I enjoyed it for sure.
Although it has become really difficult to concentrate on the story after that glass of white wine!

Mornings-to-go

2011-08-04T09:31:00.005+02:00

Lately, the best part of my day has become the morning – that part when the alarm clock is ringing and orders you to get out of bed.
And even though I cannot get more than 4 hours of sleep (me, the same person who used to sleep for almost 10 every night…), I still burst out of the sheets and straight into the city streets.
I like the chilly morning air, the smell of perfume in my hair and scarf, the tram that comes right on time and I adore the coffee-to-go that I grab from Albert Heijn while waiting for the train to Schiphol Airport.
During the 7 minute train ride, I either stare out of the window and listen to music or I read.
Once I`m at the airport and not late to work, I go out to smoke a cigarette, finish my coffee and sometimes the chapter that I`m reading.
I sit down on a bowl full of flowers – especially designed for that – and watch the people running to catch their flight or rushing in the arms of their loved ones.
I see flight attendants and pilots acting like normal people – that is smoking a cigarette and forgetting to put on that neverending smile!
I like my mornings on my way to work. They remind me of fresh starts, warm people and distant places. And I need to be reminded that.

Rain in Berlin

2011-08-01T20:18:00.011+02:00

Flying above Berlin at night, close before landing, I felt like I was going home. The orange lights of the buildings were reflecting into the rainy surroundings creating a sense of coziness and comfort…
I hadn`t been there since 2006 and I was really missing it. Cause I`m always like this: I`d rather go 10 times to a place I love than go somewhere else just for the sake of seeing something different each time.
Going to Berlin was a good decision although the rain didn`t stop for a moment. But despite the clouds and everything related, the city appeared to me as attractive as I`ve always found it: big, diverse, a bit chaotic (after living in the Netherlands, everything that is actually normal appears to be chaotic to some extent) and restless.
I re-saw many of the places I love in this city and each of them represents a spot where I would gladly waste my time given that I`d live there! The area close to Brandenburger Tor and Reichstag is by far my favorite. And then Friedrichstrasse, Kurfürstendamm, Potsdamer Platz… I feel great just walking the streets in these areas, this is how much energy they send out!
But then it rained, and rained, and rained… My mood was also not the best mood ever and I was a bit surprised to see that I was not the only one. Could it really be that people smile more in Amsterdam?
I don`t know for sure and I wouldn`t jump to any conclusion… But I was really happy to return here today and embrace the sun that was finally shining!

Forever As I Know It

2011-07-26T22:25:00.007+02:00

Danube Delta - the place where time stops and people never forget you. The place where there`s nothing to do but contemplate, remember and wonder. The place where I always return...

As savage as the Danube itself, Dobrogea remains to me the same rebel woman, beautiful with her blonde hair and wild flowers, making me wish for a forever Summer.

Leaving these places has never been easy for me and the happiness I feel each time I`m there is known by me only.

O stare lenesa ca o broasca testoasa

2011-07-26T21:11:00.004+02:00

I`m so so tired, but also so so relaxed...
I feel like a thousand of things, people, images and ideas happened and I don`t find the right time (or maybe the right place) to write about them. All hanging and waiting in my mind.
In the meantime, I`m back to the Netherlands, back to work, back to the never-know-what`s-going-to-happen-next weather. After three weeks spent in Romania at 40 degrees and surrounded by the comfort of my family and old friends, I must admit coming back here was quite a shock. I spent one whole day hating the rain and the two blankets that were supposed to keep me warm.
Now, two days later, I feel fine again. I might be the only person stubborn in wearing summer shoes and clothes, but I`m ok with that.
Where have the sand from my feet and the salty smell from my skin gone? And where the hell was the sun this morning when I was fighting with my personal umbrella because it was simply refusing to open up and protect me from the neverending rain?
I returned to Amsterdam with the strongest feelings for my loved ones and with an incredible desire of going to Berlin.
Somehow I felt like I need a vacation again!

30

2011-07-24T23:09:00.012+02:00

A (very) rainy day today in Amsterdam... The perfect background for my new age! :)
I was amazed by the amount of good wishes that I`ve been receiving all day, from morning `till late at night.
Thanks again, everyone! You made everything much easier!!!

More photos, here.

We Have Always Been Here

2011-07-23T22:01:00.003+02:00

Watching Kumm singing is like watching the stars: you know they`ve always been there and that they`ll always be there...
It`s like nothing has ever changed in your life between two shows, everything`s fine and is going to be fine.
Kumm at Green Hours - a wonderful present for my last night in Romania this Summer! Perfect.

The Piano Player Was Playing the Piano

2011-07-19T14:51:00.007+02:00

The piano player was playing the piano in front of the cafe... The beautiful tunes attracted me there. After some wandering through the city streets under the hot afternoon sun, some cold water and a coffee was all I wanted.
At the table in front of me, a lonely lady ordered a lemonade and a pizza. She asked for more sugar to pour in the drink and also for some sauce for the pizza. Nothing seamed to please her.
At the table behind me, a couple was practicing something that most couples do best after some time: silence.

Thank God for the piano player though! Despite the high temperatures, he kept on playing with sunglasses on and a hat on the piano.
People were passing by and stopped to listen to him. But they were going away soon after because the best seats - the ones in the shadow - were already taken by me, the lonely lady and the silent couple...
I soon started reading because it was becoming too difficult to contemplate at 40 degrees.

Just when I saw a little boy with a bag in his hands stopping to listen to the piano tunes, I left my book on the table. He was getting closer and closer, alone, just like all the customers of this particular cafe. The little boy squeezed himself quietly through the tables and eventually took a seat. He put his bag on a chair and continued listening. But then his mother appeared out of nowhere and together they left. The boy only had time to turn back and wave a good bye towards the piano player.
Soon the music stopped, the piano player left and I realized I was alone at the lonely cafe. So I left, too.

Summer Pleasures

2011-07-14T18:12:00.005+02:00

Dobrogea

2011-07-04T23:34:00.004+02:00

Dreaming of this beautiful place that I`m going to see soon, I search for some photos and this is what I found:

I can`t wait to be there!

Iaurt zdravan, unt de masa si dulceata de visine

2011-07-04T10:11:00.005+02:00

What a wonderful feeling to be in your parents` house again!

When I got to bed last night and placed my head on the big pillow and covered myself with the heavy blanket, well then I felt really happy and safe.

And this morning, after waking up with the sun on my face and with the sound of birds in my ears, I had to congratulate my father again for making the best coffee in the world!

Now all he wants from me is to go to the backyard and eat berries. And I promised him I won`t leave before I do that!

Life in the Countryside

2011-07-03T19:54:00.009+02:00

Bucharesting

2011-07-03T18:33:00.011+02:00

Blue Yellow Red//Romania

Right in the middle of it

Laura, the girl with the pearls & Vice magazine

Hot afternoon on the streets of the city (I)

Hot afternoon on the streets of the city (II)

Perfect Saturday brunch - part one

La femme coquette

Bridge of flowers

Perfect Saturday brunch - part two

Maybe the most beautiful place in Bucharest

Perfect Saturday brunch - part three//Birdie waiting for a bite

By night

Morning in my room (again)

Made by my sister (except for the coffee)
Remember this game?

Nu pot// I can`t

Kelly, Dutch and for the first time in Bucharest, thinks the city looks like after a war. This was also my first impression.
But then I started getting busy with my favourite part of it (home, friends, places) and everything feels just fine now.
Maybe I`ve learned to see the walls between the cracks and not only the cracks...

Finally Summer for ONE Day

2011-06-28T01:38:00.005+02:00

Again I`m using friends` Facebook statuses to describe what I experience myself!
Indeed a Summer day today: 31 degrees! This is incredible for Amsterdam, it`s almost like one of those "once in a lifetime" things.
Wonderful! Annoying, but wonderful. The perfect background for three Romanian people to meet and have three rows of drinks at an open air terrace, while talking about their long expected holiday to come in Romania. We`ve even saw the stars tonight when the umbrellas were finally closed after the sun set!
Wonderful! This incredible warm night reminded us all about the habits we used to have and practice while still living in Bucharest, habits that we were soon about to re-discover.
Have I told you how thrilled we are about this trip? Well, we`re incredibly thrilled! We almost have a list with things to do, places to visit and people to see.
We`re definitely in a great mood for Summer as we know it...
And so hard to go to sleep on such a perfect night!

Lately

2011-06-26T18:10:00.008+02:00

I Guess...

2011-06-25T00:08:00.003+02:00

There are people I consider as boring as they consider me ignorant. But, of course, we don`t say this to each other. Some social rules, I guess...

No connection whatsoever between what I wrote above and this photo. I just thought it`s a cool pic and I like it.