Meanwhile, the league welcomed it’s newest member, Chalupa Batman (now known as Christopher Benjamin MacArthur, for those keeping score)  for all of five minutes before moving on the first hot girl to enter stage left. I would expect nothing less out of our fateful League antiheroes, and they didn’t disappoint in going after Sutton with guns blazing.

The best part of the league dynamic is how much each one of them hates the rest. Of course, I mean this is the competitive spirit way and not in the “I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE” way. Andre’s pitiful attempt to “bump her a text” sounds as bad as it probably went.

If life had a waiver wire, Pete would probably reign supreme with his “little system,” but Taco would be a helluva lot more fun about his pickups.

In the end, Pete’s forced to give up not Golden Tate, not Eric Decker, but Greg Jennings for the first rights to Sutton, only to see Taco swoop in as soon as she was back on the free market. Jokes on Taco anyway.

I’ll never understand Taco’s way with women, but somehow he can get inside a woman’s apartment days after she finds him sleeping on the street.

In fact, can we get a waiver wire post each week by Taco? I feel like that’d be worth reading. Maybe he can take us inside the Taco Corp. retreat to sweat lodge at Burning Man.

Pete’s system applied to women was probably the closest thing to the “Ignore the Blond” theory from A Beautiful Mind I’ve ever seen. It’s not quite as complicated, but the thought process is so exacting.

Dr. Levenson doesn’t seem like such a bad dude, but nobody likes the guy who chops his son’s member.
Even if Shiva thinks he’s cute, Jenny’s certianly not doing anything out fo the ordinatorhasdkfjalksdf

Andre’s hoodie was never NOT going to be a foreskin.

For the record, Shiva is so much more than a “sloppily made symbol” of the league’s “lost youth.” And I could tell you that in less than a full Aerosmith song.

The League creators must have sat down and thought…how can we make Andre look more like a penis? And then the scene with his head slit, helmets, rubdown, and beer-sposion happened. Where’s the GIF already?

It was laughs all around when we learn Andre had a buried penis in his fat baby fupa, which prevented the doctor from giving him a clean snip.

Shiva leaves the league with a curse as it does not have her blessing to continue to rock her picture on the trophy. Things will not go well, and it begins with the loss of foreskin.

Memorable quotes from The League Episode 2:

PETE: “I got a little system.”

ANDRE: “Wait a second, so you live your dating life like you’re just choosing someone off a waiver wire?”
PETE: “Pretty much, yeah.”

TACO: “Hold on, I’m gonna try this. I’m gonna pick up Kevin’s beer off of the waiver wire.”
KEVIN: “No, that’s just stealing, Taco. It’s theft.”
TACO: “Uh-uh, I don’t have time to teach you how to play fantasy football.”

ANDRE: “I have priority! I haven’t touched a boob in like a year.”

RUXIN: “I am indeed your life commissioner.”

RUXIN: “I’m the closest thing to God you shits ever got.”

TACO: “Foreskin is a MacArthur family tradition, like alcoholism.”

RUXIN: “You got a corvette, you rock it with the top down.”

ANDRE: “I don’t blog about everything, okay. I blog about magic and sometimes Don Henley.”

TACO: “I’ve seen his balls a few times but never his dick.”

RUXIN: “As the commissioner, I demand to know what your penis looks like!”

KEVIN: [to Shiva] “No, you’re taking it the wrong way. I won…you. I OWN YOU!”

SHIVA: “I am not a sloppily made symbol of your lost youth.”

KEVIN: “Show me…on this doll…where the doctor touches mommy.”

KEVIN: “Fine. You know what? Character actors work all the time. I have the Stephen Tobolowsky of dicks.”

PETE: “How do you feel about night meetings?” (Pete is so smooth)

TACO: “I need a backup. People die all the time. A month ago, l had four girlfriends. Rest in peace, Oksana. Goddamn that mountain lion.”

TACO: “Girls are like kickers. You can never have enough!”

PETE: “Wait, so we’re in the National Foreskin League?”

TACO: “Poor little Chalupa is gonna to lose his crispy outer shell.
KEVIN: “Can you not speak of my son’s member as if it was fourth meal?”

RUXIN: “You have to excuse Taco. He’s on a five second tape delay.”

RUXIN: “I just want the 411 on his little fatty.”

TACO: “Now it kinda looks like your head’s coming out of a vagina.”

PETE: “I guess that would make it a…two-skin?”

RUXIN/KEVIN: “Baby fupa!”

RUXIN: “Just like scraping the barnacles off a boat blindfolded in rough seas.”

RUXIN: “A little dramatic for a urologist, don’t you think?”
PETE: “I think that was a pox.”
TACO: “I knew she was a witch doctor!”

SUTTON: “Independently wealthy. Plus 8.”

KEVIN: “Well, she had a baby…’cause I put it inside her. With my penis.”

KEVIN: “Some people like convertibles, but trust me, hardtops are much better. It’s a classic look.”

Jamaal Williams is the next man up for Green Bay after both Aaron Jones and Ty Montgomery suffered injuries in Week 10. Williams was running third in this pecking order so expectations should be tempered. He also faces a tough matchup this week against the Ravens, in what may be his usage if Montgomery returns quickly from his rib injury. Don’t spend your whole bank to acquire him.

Rod Smith is the smart add if you’re banking on the Cowboys looking for a spark in this offense. Alfred Morris was uninspiring with the offensive line injuries Dallas is dealing with over the next several weeks. Smith could emerge as the most utilized back until Zeke’s suspension ends.

The Patriots put Rex Burkhead in creative situations in Week 10 and got him into the end zone. Dion Lewis was also a factor in this game and saw the field more consistently than he has to start the year. As with any Patriots RB, you’re playing with fire. The Patriots will change the offense to attack their opponent’s weaknesses so there’s no guarantee you get the same level of production from either back moving forward.

If you’re not desperate for running back help and would rather take a chance on someone who could give you a boost in the playoffs, stash Josh Gordon or DeDe Westbrook. Gordon returns from in Week 13 and, by all accounts, seems in as good of shape as he left the NFL in if not better. Westbrook was a preseason darling before his injury. Unfortunately, with Westbrook, you are counting on the Jacksonville passing game and Bortles, but Westbrook was able to do work with him at QB earlier this year.

Good luck in Week 11!

Fitzpatrick gets the start in the wake of Jameis Winston’s shoulder injury in Week 9. But his value will be capped without Mike Evans on the field, due to his suspension.

Jay Cutler also put his best performance of the year together throwing three touchdowns in Week 9. It doesn’t seem likely he’ll sustain that level of production, but the Dolphins are changing their offense without Jay Ajayi in the fold.

Speaking of Ajayi, despite the new running back in town, it was, surprisingly, Corey Clement who got the two scores Sunday for the Eagles. As Clement gains value, LeGarrette Blount is sure to be losing it.

With Marcus Mariota back on the field, Rishard Matthews jumped back into fantasy relevance. He has the most history with Mariota and could retain a high floor, low ceiling value through the end of the season if Mariota stays healthy.

And, just as a PSA, if anyone in your league dropped Marshawn Lynch, it may be worth stashing him over the bye, as he once again for the end zone not once but twice.

Good luck in Week 10!

Kelvin Benjamin is now a Buffalo Bill. Jay Ajayi is an Eagle. And Jimmy Garoppolo is now the soon-to-be starter in San Francisco. But, most notably, Ajayi’s trade means we have a new lead running back in Miami between Kenyan Drake and Damien Williams. My preference would be to own Drake, but Williams could end up having more value if the Dolphins play from behind all season as the passing down back.

While Ajayi may not see a huge bump in value and could actually see reduced volume, he is sure to benefit from a more productive and more consistent offense. He’s still valuable to owners.

The latest Zeke news points to him missing the next six games, at last. Opinions vary, but the consensus seems to be that Darren McFadden would get the first crack at carries.

My straw poll found most prefer DMC, but Alfred Morris and Rod Smith are both sneaky adds that you can get a much lower price.

Rumor followers might want to stash Josh Gordon, since he seems to have life again in the NFL with the news that he’s meeting with the NFL, but that’s a long, long shot for fantasy relevance this season.

And Calvin Johnson was the source of rumors for a short time before the trade deadline came and went without any action.

Your better wide receiver stashes are, in this order:

• JuJu Smith-Schuster, who “emerged” for the Steelers with increased usage and targets last week.

JuJu Smith-Schuster had a huge game tonight! ? pic.twitter.com/xDM6TYJzCm

— PFF (@PFF) October 30, 2017

• Corey Davis, who should return to the field soon for the Titans

#Titans WR Corey Davis practiced Monday and should be owned in all leagues. Could be nice value down the stretch.

— Fantasy Football Fools ? (@FantasyFools) October 31, 2017

• And Robby Anderson, who’s getting decent enough usage for the Jets even if his scores will be in garbage time more often than not

Not many are paying attention to the Jets offense this year, but those in need of WR help could look to Robby Anderson. #fantasyfootball

— Fantasy Football Fools ? (@FantasyFools) October 31, 2017

Good luck in Week 9!

Those seeking running back help can look first to Oakland where Marshawn Lynch should sit out Week 8 for contacting an official in Week 7.

Jalen Richard and DeAndre Washington are flex-able with the potential to carve out more of a role upon Lynch’s return since the running game has been sluggish for Oakland thus far this season.

Matt Forte showed signs of life in his return to duty for the Jets in Week 7 (82 yards). He’s less than likely to hold onto the majority of the touches in this offense, but he’s a viable candidate for lineups this week.

Just when you think you have the Patriots figured out, they change running backs. Dion Lewis is now getting all the carries. So if you want to play the game — the game of guessing which Patriots RB will get the value touches — you have to roster the Dion.

At receiver, Ted Ginn Jr. is back on the radar for the Saints after two solid performances. He doesn’t do this, but, while he does, take advantage. And Josh Doctson has become the Redskins receiver to own as he dominated the touches in Week 7.

Good luck in Week 8.

Before the season, a team with both Aaron Rodgers and David Johnson seemed like a juggernaut. Now, that owner would be looking to save their season.

It’s late in the game to replace a QB, and savvy owners have likely snapped up Deshaun Watson. That leaves Carson Palmer as the most likely candidate on your waiver wires considering his early season struggles and inconsistency. The addition of Adrian Peterson to the Arizona offense may have been just what Palmer needed to keep defenses at bay. Week 6 could still be the outlier in Peterson’s productivity this season, but he should, at the very least, keep defenses honest and be solid in pass protection for Palmer.

Jared Goff and Tyrod Taylor are the next two best options likely available in your league with Goff facing Arizona this week in what could be a high-scoring affair. Taylor faces a somewhat underwhelming Tampa Bay defense and has the safety net of providing additional points with his legs. Beyond those two, you may be streaming QB help the rest of this season if you are in a deeper league without many options on the wire.

Outside of quarterback hunting, despite Ezekiel Elliott’s back and forth about whether his suspension will be carried out or not, Darren McFadden and Alfred Morris should be owned in all leagues, if they weren’t already picked up last week with the Elliott scare.

Orleans Darkwa looks like the new No. 1 runner in New York for the Giants. Running on the Broncos is no easy feat. Now, if only he can keep the job!

Good luck in Week 7!

Though Latavius Murray handled the first few touches for the Vikings, it was Jerick McKinnon who seemed to take over as the game went on. His long touchdown may have cemented him as the go-to guy for the Vikings the rest of the year, but we’ll have to see if the trend sticks.

If you heard the chimes of ESPN app alerts this morning, you already know that the Saints traded Adrian Peterson to the Cardinals today. He is currently listed atop the depth chart as the Cardinals let Chris Johnson go in a corresponding move, but we will have to see if he looks any better in Arizona red than he did in the Saints black and gold. AP still hasn’t impressed, but he was buried in an offense that seemed unwilling to adapt for him in New Orleans. The offensive line in Arizona will do him no favors, but you’ll want to roster him if you want to see if he has a spark left.

Injuries have opened the door for Matt Breida of the 49ers and Elijah McGuire of the Jets this week. Breida is the better long-term add as he may have a role even when Carlos Hyde is fully healthy, but McGuire should see more work this week with Bilal Powell and Matt Forte likely out.

John Brown returned to the field for the Cardinals and immediately had an impact with seven targets and a score. He should be owned as long as he is healthy.

Atlanta’s Austin Hooper could see some of the targets that have been going Mohamed Sanu’s way with Sanu out, which makes him worthy of consideration in the immediate future.

And, speaking of the Falcons, their D/ST should be in for a big week against the Dolphins. COming off a bye, they may have been dropped and could get back their top sack generator in Vic Beasley.

Top of the list is Latavius Murray who expects to see the majority of early down work for the Minnesota Vikings without Dalvin Cook. A sneaky pickup for those not willing to go big in FAAB bidding for Murray or who aren’t highly ranked in the waiver order this week is Jerick McKinnon.

McKinnon is expected to be the change-of-pace back for the Vikings without Cook, but if Murray is slowed by his ankles or unable to move the chains, McKinnon could take over.

In Seattle, Eddie Lacy and Thomas Rawls should both see more carries after rookie darling Chris Carson went out for the season. Lacy is the healthier of the two backs at this point, but Rawls was the “starter” to begin the season. There isn’t a clear indication who will get the first crack at the job, and they could both end up in an inconsistent committee. Those who need immediate help should go after Lacy, but I like the move of stashing Rawls to see how this plays out.

Those looking for quarterback help or trying to replace Derek Carr should go after Deshaun Watson on the wire this week. With his rushing ability, he can be a consistent quarterback week to week.

It’s Greg Olsen’s injury that opened the door for Devin Funchess to get more targets for the Panthers, and he took full advantage in Week 4. It’s unlikely he gets two scores in a single game again this season, but his increased production should stick around.

There may not be much value in owning the early downs back in the Ravens offense this season. But, if there is, Alex Collins is the running back you want to own, not Terrance West.

Aaron Jones might be the starting running back for the Packers this week if Ty Montgomery is unable to play with the pain of multiple broken ribs. Can’t blame him for that.

If you’re in a deep league or PPR league, my favorite stash going into Week 5 is J.D. McKissic. There are no promises here with the Seattle backfield being what it is – and with C.J. Prosise likely to return to the field this week. But McKissic made an impression in Week 4 that is hard to shake.

On the wide receiver side, Kelvin Benjamin could miss time or at least play injured for a few weeks depending on how he responds to the treatment on his left knee. Without him on the field, the Panthers will need Devin Funchess to step up.

He didn’t take advantage of his opportunity as the top receiving option in the remainder of last week’s game against the Saints, but nothing on the Panthers’ offense looked great in Week 3. Week 4 may present Funchess with another chance to impress.

Randall Cobb sat out last week for the Packers and gave Geronimo Allison a chance to shine. His 100+ yards came mostly on a 72-yard overtime reception that set up the field goal that won it. With the Packers taking the field Thursday, Cobb could still need more time, which would give Allison one more week of fantasy relevance.

Without Jordan Reed, the Redskins turned to Vernon Davis last week. He turned back the clock and racked up five catches, including a score. Davis could get another opportunity for fill-in duty if Reed doesn’t take the field in Week 4.

Though we’ve talked about them before, Allen Hurns and Marqise Lee also deserve a mention. Both have value with Allen Robinson unavailable for the Jaguars. In standard scoring, I prefer Hurns over Lee, despite Lee’s dominant share of the targets.

If you have a place on your bench, you might also consider stashing Jamaal Charles, who showed his quickness of old in Week 3 and could start to emerge for the Broncos if given the more opportunity running alongside C.J. Anderson.

Not to be forgotten, Tarik Cohen continues to see a high percentage of Chicago’s touches — 24.7 percent, to be exact, according to John Paulsen — and he’ll have better weeks than what Week 2 had in store for him.

This week, injuries hit many of the fantasy football elite so you may be looking for depth or a worthy stash to help you through the rest of your season. Tight ends were especially hard hit.

And if you gambled on some aged veteran players, you might be regretting that decision now. Adrian Peterson owners saw him take a backseat again in Week 2. At this point, it’s fair to consider dropping AP for players with more opportunity. He trailed just ahead of Brandon Marshall in terms of veteran players that owners were frustrated with heading into Week 3, but the winner was “All of the Above.”

Carson Palmer, while not winning the poll, is still not winning his owners any weeks thus far this season. Don’t hold him if you can look elsewhere for QB points with useful free agents like Trevor Siemian and Carson Wentz rising up the ranks.

If Chris Carson, the rookie RB for the Seahawks, is still available in your league, be sure to go after him this week as your top priority. His path is clear to take over the lead role after Seattle featured him heavily in Week 2.

Even if Rawls gets a few more “starts,” it seems clear that Carson has the most talent and ability.

The offensive line in Seattle still needs to get it together, but this running game should have value, especially if Eddie Lacy continues to be a healthy scratch.

After Carson, the decisions get a little more difficult. According to our poll, the Redskins’ Chris Thompson is the highest priority after his two touchdown performance on Sunday.

Rob Kelley may miss time with a rib injury, which would open up more opportunity for Thompson, primarily the receiving back for the Redskins. Samaje Perine would also likely get a larger share of the touches if Kelley misses time, but Thompson’s role has more staying power.

Those seeking less expensive running backs on the wire can look to stash a Johnson as both Chris Johnson, now back in Arizona, and Duke Johnson had productive Week 2 performances.

Alex Collins, recently signed to the Ravens, could be a sneaky pickup if Terrance West misses significant time or if Collins gets his chance to shine.

At receiver, two Jaguars wide receivers, Marqise Lee and Allen Hurns, are available in many leagues and gained value due to Allen Robinson’s injury. Unfortunately, you have to trust Blake Bortles to get them the ball.

For my roster, I’d rather stash someone like J.J. Nelson. Despite Carson Palmer’s poor play, Nelson still produced in both Week 1 and Week 2. Even if John Brown gets back on the field, he appears to be worth owning, especially in PPR.

Last but not least, you can also target Jermaine Kearse on the wire this week. The Jets are not a good team this season, and they’ll have a lot of garbage time opportunity for their top receiver.

If you’re looking for wide receiver value on the cheap, try grabbing Rashard Higgins of the Cleveland Browns, likely to be the top receiver with the loss of Coleman, or Geronimo Allison, who has an awesome name and the potential to step into a larger role for Green Bay if Jordy Nelson misses time.

Good luck in Week 3!