Fanzi Ruji

Friends Or Foe

2017-04-06T11:49:00.001+08:00

Our school conducted a Composing A Poem competition for the students last week and this poem was awarded The Best Poem.

Looks naive

Inside you, a knife

Sweet talker

Great listener

Loves to blow your own trumpet

Distracting others' attention

When there's an argument

You make it bigger

Bad blood spreads

The quarrels are endless

But suddenly my heart misses

I miss the voice

Miss the laughs

and "Hey! I'm sorry. It's my fault"

Then

The same thing keeps repeating

Friends Or Foe (by Fatehah)

I Am A Cat Person

2014-11-15T11:59:00.001+08:00

As you might have noticed, I frequently post pics of my cats on my Instagram. Currently, I have two cats. The first one is Lupita. She was born a day after this year's Academy Awards. I named her Lupita as a tribute to my newest favourite actress, Lupita Nyongo who happened to win the Oscar for Best Actress, this year. My second cat is still a kitten, I still can't figure out the gender yet but for now, let's just assume that the kitten is a he. His name is Karo which pragmatically means treasure. He is goldish yellow in colour and loves to wiggle his tail, like a puppy. I can tell that Karo is a super playful cat. On the other hand, Lupita is very unfriendly. She doesn't like humans, including me and the other people in the house. She doesn't mix with other cats as well. She is a loner. Weird but true. But they are my cats and I love them. I wish I can post their pics here but I've already posted pics of them on my Instagram so it's better to just visit my Instagram, don't you think?

My IG ID is fanziruji. If you want to follow, you are most welcome.

Blogging On The Go

2014-11-12T18:19:00.001+08:00

I've just installed the Blogger app in my phone. So, now I can post entries on my blog anytime and anywhere. Now that's convenient!

Initially I wanted to delete this blog but there are so many things I shared that make me feel great when I read them back. I really feel like me again when I read the older posts. I forgot who I was and I feel like I've changed so much after reading the old ones.

This blog is a treasure that is worth keeping.

I Am Back!

2014-11-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

Hello! Anybody here. [knock knock]

I don't know if anyone would want to read this. I guess nobody really cares anymore since I haven't written anything for so long. But I am going to write anyway.

*****

I am terrified of the future.

*****

The questions about the future keep popping out in my head. My friend told me not to think too much about it. "Worry about it when the time comes or you'll get wrinkles", he said.

However, I am aware of the fact that the future is shaped by what we do now. In simple words, the future is actually taking place at this very moment. My conclusion of this is, the past, the present and the future are actually three dots that walk in parallel throughout the timeline.

Now the question is, why am I terrified of the future? It's because I want to exist even though I am no longer breathing. I want to live forever by leaving something behind that people will always remember. My point is, I want people to remember me. Don't you think it's sad to leave with nothing at all even a bit of remembrance of your existence? It is very sad.

I want my existence to be acknowledged. I want to leave my mark. That is why I am terrified of the future. I am afraid that throughout my years of living, I have done nothing significant.

*****

Yes, I am afraid of being nobody.

Post KDM Idol

2013-10-14T12:39:00.001+08:00

KDM Idol has finally ended. I have to say the performances of the contestants were superb. Like I said in my Facebook status, I could never imagine myself being one of the finalists because I'd be clueless on how to 'beautify' my performance. Maybe it was not meant for me or it was not my 'turn' yet.

Oh for those readers (if there are) who are wondering what KDM Idol is, it is a singing competition organized by Kadazan Dusun Murut Malaysia (KDM Malaysia) association where the offered prizes are ridiculous for Sabah level, which is awesome actually. The main prize is RM100K, 1st runner up is RM50K, 2nd runner up is RM30K and so on. The least amount of prize is RM10K so you can imagine how big this competition is.

I actually joined this competition but ended up only being in the Top 29 out of 600++ contestants who auditioned. It's quite an impressive achievement right? Haha.

Well, the winner is Arie Famree Sius, a super talented + creative singer/performer. I competed with him once before this competition and I have to admit I could never beat this guy when it comes to stage performance.

He is so blessed. I am so freaking jealous with him because he won that hundred thousand. But again I have to admit, he deserved it. Plus, he's a good person. Truly an idol.

Watching him win last night, I suddenly thought about myself. How far am I going in this business. Someone told me last night that I could have gone further. But I am still stuck here at this level. I keep on telling myself again and again that it's probably not my time yet. Guess I'll have to start from scratch again. Guess I need to learn more before I can soar.

Id Pagandadan | The Wait

2012-07-21T10:58:00.000+08:00

Do you know how does it feel like?

It feels like sh*t!

I waited for you to reply for a very very long time.

You did eventually.

But what for? I am DEAD anyway.

Di Kedai Kopi

2012-07-20T18:11:00.001+08:00

I heard a lot of noises. It was a typical Malaysian scenario. Ada yang bincang pasal bisnes. Ada yang berkasih sayang. Ada yang membebel. But mostly mengumpat. [Sigh]

[Terus ambil earphone & sumbat di telinga]

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Buvazoi Tavantang 2012

2012-07-20T09:54:00.001+08:00

It has been really really long time I have not posted anything in my blog. Kesian blog ini sebab tuannya pemalas. Haha.

Anyway, I've been busy doing so many things actually. Apart from studies, I was busy singing and performing. Recently, I joined Buvazoi Tavantang (Mr. Kaamatan) competition. It's actually a male beauty pageant. Keep in mind that this beauty pageant is not like the other beauty pageants. It is culturally rich where the contestants who are representing their own district will parade the traditional costume from their respective district. This competition is a male version of Unduk Ngadau. If you don't know Unduk Ngadau, google it. It is BIG in Sabah. Likewise, Buvazoi Tavantang is regarded as the most prestigious male beauty pageant in Sabah.

So, like what I've mentioned, I joined Buvazoi Tavantang. I represented my hometown, the district of Ranau. Guess what, I placed third. It was a BIG surprise for me because I have no experience whatsoever and this is my first time joining such competition. This is definitely one of the best things I've experienced.

I would like to say thank you to my idol and also my mentor, the first ever Buvazoi Tavantang, Mr. Keddy Mahdfuz for all the support and guidance. I am very lucky to have the best of the best person to seek guidance from.

I know you guys want to see pictures. Enjoy.

The contestants. Most of the contestants. Some are missing.

Friends.

The guy in the middle is Jeffie Jeff. The best make up artist in Sabah.

Us wearing sarong.

Us wearing our traditional costume.

Q&A

I was actually shaking. Very nervous.

Left: Noel (1st runner up - representing Tambunan)

Middle: Juan (Winner - representing Klang Valley)

Right: Fanzi (2nd runner up - representing Ranau)

Never thought of this moment.

With Noel, the 1st runner up from Tambunan.

With Juan, the winner representing Klang Valley.

With Melinda Louis, the newly crowned Unduk Ngadau 2012 from Telupid.

For more pictures click HERE.

When I Am Down

2012-01-24T09:50:00.001+08:00

Studying is very stressing. No doubt about that. But that probably applies only for me. I was on the verge of giving up. Thank you to my friends. They lift up my spirit and give me reasons to hold on. I am lucky to have such friends. Love them very much.

Pic Of The Day

2012-01-06T01:38:00.003+08:00

Tuna Cheese Sandwich.

Introducing Tuna Cheese Sandwich. It's my friend's favourite meal at Yoyo. It only costs RM5. The taste? It's quite delicious but don't forget to ask for more cheese.

In Love

2011-12-15T19:05:00.001+08:00

I could not believe I could fall so deeply in love with you. Loving you is beautiful. I will love you for eternity. Dear God, please let us be together in your heaven.

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Push Pen Anxiety

2011-08-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

Push pen anxiety: A psychological state characterized by one's excessive push-in push-out of his or her retractable pen due to stress or boredom.

Example:

*click click* *click click*

That kid at the back of the class has a serious case of push pen anxiety.

Source: Urban Dictionary

P/S: Surprisingly, this often happens in the teachers lounge. Apparently, teachers are so free nowadays.

This Is Why Friends Are Important

2011-08-25T12:18:00.001+08:00

Photo: Google

Now What?

2011-08-18T10:05:00.001+08:00

I gave you the thing
Now what?

You want more?
Saya sumbat kertas-kertas ini dalam mulut kau!

Something You Should've Known

2011-08-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Something you should've known
We're not as experienced as you
We're amateurs
We're here to learn

Something you should've known
When you expect too much
And get the least
That's where your problem rises

Kantoi

2011-08-13T12:06:00.000+08:00

Ada sebuah kisah seorang stalker. Time si orang ni bercakap di telefon, dia (stalker) ni pun mau dengar juga perbualan tersebut.

Selepas berbual, si orang ni pun keluar dari bilik dan menuju ke dapur sebab dia haus.

Si stalker ni pula fikir si orang tu masih bertelefon di dalam bilik. Maka dia pun mendekatkan telinganya ke dinding bilik untuk mencuri dengar.

Dalam pada itu, si orang ni keluar dari dapur dan nampak perbuatan si stalker ini. Tapi untuk tidak memalukan si stalker, dia buat bunyi supaya si stalker tu sedar kehadiran dia dan berpura-pura tidak nampak perbuatan si stalker tadi.

Si stalker terkejut beruk lalu pura-pura cover malu.

Si orang itu hanya mampu tersenyum.

Photo: Littlemansmom

Sumpah-Sumpah

2011-08-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah. Tanpa saya sedari, sudah masuk minggu kedua bulan puasa. Lupa pula mau wish 'selamat berpuasa' kepada semua umat Islam ~~yang berpuasa~~. Maka dengan itu, saya ambil peluang keemasan ni untuk mengucapkan selamat berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini kepada semua umat Islam walau di mana anda berada. Semoga puasa pada tahun ini lebih baik daripada tahun-tahun lepas.

Now is actually my bedtime. But before I sleep, I feel like sharing something. Do you know what is a 'sumpah-sumpah'? I know the word in English but I forgot the spelling. Yes, I'm talking about a /kemilien/. Again, sorry, I forgot the spelling and I'm too lazy to search for it in the internet.

Anyway, so, you know that the /kemilien/ changes its colour according to the colour of its environment, right? I am exactly like the /kemilien/. I am able to change my colour too, but not literally lah. I'm talking about the word 'mood'. My mood changes according to my surrounding. For example, just now, I don't know what happened to this fellow, tiba-tiba marah tidak tentu pasal sampaikan saya yang baik-baik happy pun terikut marah. Therefore, to avoid myself from hurting someone else's feeling (because my mouth is a bitch when I am angry), I shut my mouth. But then bila saya diam memanjang, ini pula yang saya dapat.

"Kenapa kau tidak mau cakap sama saya nih? Kau ingat bagus kah diam-diam macam tu? Apa masalah kau ni? Bikin stress betul lah kau nih?"

Sorry, I exaggerate a bit.

Anyway, I was like, WTF? Is it my problem or yours? I tried so hard not to say anything just to make sure I would not hurt your feeling. Tapi saya pula kena marah balik. What should I do? Kalau saya bising, nanti dia tambah sakit hati. Kalau saya diam pun dia marah. Betul-betul macam peribahasa 'diluah mati ibu, ditelan mati bapa' dan 'keluar mulut singa, masuk pula mulut buaya'.

Photo: Google

Eh, betulkah peribahasa yang kedua tu?

Tukar Kerjaya

2011-08-08T21:08:00.000+08:00

Rasa macam mau tukar kerjaya lah. Saya seorang guru sekarang. Esok mau jadi penyanyi. Lusa mau jadi director. Boleh? Atau buat semua sekaligus lagi bagus? Tidak payah tukar-tukar profession.

Just to inform all of you (readers), baru-baru ni saya ada dengar satu lagu baru nyanyian Dang Mar Ezzah. Dia ni sebenarnya junior saya di IPGM Kampus Gaya. First time dengar lagu ni saya terus jatuh cinta. Segala macam ilham terus mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum bila saya dengar lagu ni.

Oleh sebab saya sangat suka lagu ni, saya pun meng-offer-kan diri buat MV untuk lagu ni. Dalam kepala saya terfikir saya ni gila atau apa. Camera pun tiada. Macamana mau buat video? Camera phone Nokia E72 tu adalah. Lantaklah. Teruskan saja buat. Hopefully, hasilnya nanti OK.

So, this is the video. Saya tidak mau banyak cakap. Kalau kamu suka, kamu share lah. Kalau tidak suka pun mohon share juga. Sebab lagu ni best. By the way, congratulations to Lucy Gawis and Dang Mar Ezzah for composing this song. It is a lovely song. I really really love it. Nanti buatkan saya satu lagu yang sedap macam ni, boleh?

I'm A Killer

2011-07-28T15:13:00.001+08:00

I accidentally killed my cat today. I did not know he was under my car.

I'm so sorry Nginging. You'll always be my favourite cat.

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Adaptasi (Luahan Hati Seorang Guru Praktikum)

2011-07-25T10:26:00.001+08:00

Mula-mula masuk kerja, excited gila. Datang ke tempat kerja dengan senyuman yang sangat lebar sebab takut dilabel sombong. Minggu pertama ialah minggu orientasi. Sepanjang minggu ni, muka tu kena sentiasa ceria dan bersemangat. Rasa macam pakai botox sebab senyuman maintain lebar setiap hari. Minggu kedua bolehlah buat muka serius ala-ala komited dengan kerja. Tapi sebenarnya masih clueless dengan skop kerja yang sebenar. Masuk minggu ketiga, kerja membuat peta dunia di office bermula dengan rasminya. Rupa-rupanya profesion ini agak relaks sebenarnya (for now).

P/S: Saya masih belajar. Kalau salah tolong tunjukkan.

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7K Sunset Charity Run Concert

2011-07-24T20:59:00.000+08:00

My favourite shot while performing during the 7K Sunset Charity Run Concert at Sutera Harbour Kota Kinabalu.

Photo: Henry Liew

Hello

2011-07-21T06:50:00.001+08:00

Lamanya tidak update blog. Currently I'm very busy with practicum. So no time to post a new entry here. Just a quick update, last week I was invited to be one of the performers for 7K Sunset Charity Run organized by Sutera Harbour Resort. It's an annual event. It's a big event. The other performers were Ariez, Malvin (POP), Soulmates, Nubhan AF, Candy AF, Adam AF and VIP. It was really awesome! I sang Sedetik Lebih and Gaia. The crowd were really supportive. I feel so honored to be part of the event. I'll share some pictures soon. Right now I gotta go. My students are waiting for me. Goodbye.

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Tekanan Belum Terasa

2011-07-14T08:49:00.003+08:00

Today is Thursday. I've been here for 4 days and I'm still very free. I still have nothing to do except gathering information about the school. So all I did was sitting on my chair, playing Angry Birds. Just now, while I was playing games with my friend a.k.a practicum partner, Fairuz, the principal passed by and saw us playing. I thought he was going to scold us but he didn't. He came to us and asked about the phone (Android) that I was using. Thank God.

So far, I feel so relaxed. Tekanan itu belum ada. Tunggu minggu depan baru tau asam garam kehidupan seorang guru.

P/S: Sekarang ni musim sakit. Kebanyakan guru di bilik guru sedang rancak batuk & sedut hingus, including me. How sad.

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Live From SM Sains Sabah

2011-07-13T12:16:00.004+08:00

I'm blogging LIVE via my Galaxy Tab from SM Sains Sabah. Because I am so free right now, I decided to spend my time blogging. I met my Form 2 students for the very first time just now. I think they are awesome. They are a bit shy though. Probably because of me. I'm going to take charge of the class starting next week. Hopefully everything will be OK. I hope they will like me.

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Sedetik Lebih

2011-06-29T18:31:00.000+08:00

Exclusive!!!Percubaan pertama nyanyi lagu Sedetik Lebih untuk pertandingan. Sila maafkan yang tersumbang. Saya budak baru belajar.