FAQautism

Field Trips 1

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:01:32 +0000

Public spaces present many challenges to individuals with autism. Sometimes it is easier to skip excursions – whether to the local grocery store or on an overnight trip – rather than dealing with all the issues that seem to jump out when a person with autism leaves the comfort of their home or classroom or workplace. What steps can we take to make field trips more pleasant and comfortable for everyone?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

The factors listed below are among those that warrant consideration when planning any foray into public, whether for an hour or a week.

1. TYPE OF TRIP. Skip trips that cause anxiety or exceptional excitement. For example, if the sound and visual images of a movie are over stimulating for your friend with autism, watch DVD movies on the small screen. If overnight stays with Grandmama always lead to disruptive behavior and stress for the family, just visit for the afternoon, spending the night in the familiar comfort of your own home.

2. CROWDS. If your friend with autism is averse to crowds, plan your trip at a time of day when less people are around. On the other hand, some people with autism actually enjoy crowds as long as they are not required to stand to close to strangers or to sit still for a long period of time In this case, you might seek out outdoor festivals, car shows, flea markets, and other events that allow your friend to enjoy milling around and “people watching.”

3. NOISE. Consider your friend’s tolerance for noise – not only the volume, but also the pitch and intensity of the noise. For example, one person with autism might be able to enjoy a loud concert featuring familiar music, but is not able to tolerate the more random sounds at a county fair. Some individuals with autism actually prefer a rather noisy environment to a more tranquil space, especially if they are required to remain quiet when visiting.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Take time to carefully consider personal preferences and triggers for stress and inappropriate behavior when planning a public excursion. Don’t assume your friend with autism wants to just stay at home. Instead, do some careful planning so everyone can enjoy field trips – whether to the local WalMart or on a family vacation. Check out Field Trips 2 for more ideas that may lead to successful public excursions.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me a confidential email at talk@FAQautism.com with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Possibly Related posts:

Road Trip Part 1 Some individuals with autism just naturally enjoy the adventure of...
Airplane Ride Airports and planes can be very challenging for individuals with...
Anticipation and Anxiety A teenager who describes herself as being diagnosed with high-functioning...

Range of Interaction

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:01:42 +0000

We tend to think of individuals with autism as being somewhat withdrawn and reluctant to interact with other people. But at the very heart of autism is inconsistency across the spectrum. While some people with autism are, indeed, disconnected, others might be very sociable.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

Contrary to the common stereotype, the range of social interaction in autism is very broad. Take a look at the list below to see the diversity.

1. At one end of the spectrum of autism, we find individuals who are withdrawn, lethargic, and non-responsive.

2. Others may be disconnected, only reaching out to others for personal needs. They may treat the other person as an object or a machine that will feed them, but they will make a connection.

3. Some people with autism tolerate the presence of others. They may not interact or talk, but they do seem to endure the presence of other people.

4. At mid-spectrum we find individuals with autism who interact quite appropriately with family, friends, and even strangers.

5. Some individuals with autism are easily over-stimulated. They can become very excited in the presence of other people, causing them to kick their legs, flap their hands, or rock vigorously. Some people might laugh or talk uncontrollably, or they may bite their own hand in their excitement. Their response to other people is certainly a contrast to the stereotypical person with autism who shuns social contact.

6. Obsessive interest in people or over-friendly behavior is also found in the spectrum of autism. Although some people with autism might shun social contact, others crave interaction.

7. I have some friends with autism who are very aggressive – they pull hair, bite, or hit anyone who comes within reaching distance. Some display explosive behavior – screaming loudly, throwing or tearing items, or running around the room in the presence of other people. Some aggressive behavior may, of course, just be a result of excitement or the lack of ability to communicate to people in more appropriate ways.

TIP FOR THE DAY: The range of social interaction in autism is vast. No matter where your friends with autism fall on this spectrum, spend time with them, giving them opportunities to make personal connections on their own terms.

Possibly Related posts:

Uneven Social Skills One notable aspect of autism is some degree of difficulty...
Interacting with Others The general public tends to assume people with autism do...
Complexities of Autism Several friends have recently received the news that their children...

No Sense of Humor

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 04:01:05 +0000

What has four legs and flies? A picnic table! What has many leaves but no branches? A book! ☺ Many of my friends with autism would respond to these riddles and other jokes with a stone face. It is as if autism robs a person of their sense of humor. Why is that?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

REALISM RULES. Some individuals with autism do not find jokes and riddles funny because they see the world in realistic terms. For example, a first-grader was asked this riddle at school: “Why didn’t the hippopotamus want to play basketball?” He did not understand the humorous answer to the riddle, “Because the hippo didn’t look good in shorts,” so he did not laugh with his classmates. Instead, he responded with a rationale observation, saying, “A hippo only has four legs and no arms, so he cannot catch or bounce or throw a basketball.” This first-grader with autism is very bright and he communicates well with others, but he often misses the point of jokes and riddles because he views the world in black and white. His realistic viewpoint stands in the way of his sense of humor.

LITERAL LANGUAGE. The humor of many jokes and riddles depends on a play on words. For example, a corny joke in our family goes like this, “A man had two sons and he named them both Ed. Why? Because two Eds are better than one!” Some people with autism will not catch the humor because they take the word “Ed” literally, without naturally translating it to “head.” Knock-knock jokes cause the same problem. Here’s an example that can make us giggle, UNLESS we take each word literally.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you gonna open the door?

TIP FOR THE DAY: Sometimes it seems that our friends with autism do not have a sense of humor, or that they are not smart enough to catch the humor in jokes and riddles. In many cases, literal language and a realistic interpretation of the world can keep folks from laughing with everyone else.

Possibly Related posts:

More Ball Games We’re exploring different ways to engage individuals of all ages...
Ball Games Families, residential home staff, teachers, camp staff members, and others...
Backyard Fun Sometimes we get so wrapped up in dealing with the...

Selecting Shoes

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 04:01:26 +0000

Sometimes a matter as simple and mundane as selecting appropriate shoes can make a huge difference in the behavior and attitude of an individual with autism. For example, because of differing sensory issues, one of my friends with autism prefers wearing boots, while another friend simply cannot tolerate confining shoes.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

DEEP PRESSURE. The individual who prefers boots craves deep pressure on the bottom of his feet and around his ankles. Even in hot weather, he wears snug socks and lace-up hiking boots. He and other people who prefer deep pressure and confining shoes find it very uncomfortable and nearly unbearable to walk barefooted, even around the house.

BARE FEET. Several of my friends with autism have extreme sensory sensitivities that make it difficult for them to wear shoes. Some can wear flip-flops, but others cannot tolerate anything between their toes. Other folks find they are able to tolerate Croc-style clogs that are a size too big. Sometimes it helps people with touch-sensitive feet to wear light ankle socks to minimize sensory input.

REAL ISSUES. It is easy to assume that a person with autism is focusing too much on their shoes and feet. But extreme sensory sensitivities are very real. While we need not give into every whim, it is critical to recognize that some people may have particularly challenging issues with their footwear.

TIP FOR THE DAY: By paying attention to specific sensory issues and taking time to help folks select appropriate shoes, we can increase comfort and decrease agitation for our friends with autism. When feet are happy, everyone is happy!

Possibly Related posts:

Shoes Sensory issues can effect every aspect of life for individuals...
FAQautism VODcast: Shoes What do you do during a Montana winter if you...
Barefoot or Boots? One parent asks for ideas for encouraging her son to...

Balance

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:14:42 +0000

In spite of our best intentions, we soon discover it is impossible to address every single issue that arrives each day in the life of an individual with autism. How can we bring balance into each day? How can we adequately address areas of need while, at the same time, develop personal relationships and just enjoy life?
Behavior issues, Caregiver support, social skills
Listen Now

or

continue reading

Autism touches on many different facets of daily living – communication, social interaction, self-help issues, and daily routines. We are often helping our friend develop skills in those areas while also helping them deal with marked sensory sensitivities, obsessive rituals, and significant behavior issues. And all this with just 24 hours in each day!

The key to maintaining balance while meeting daily challenges is to relax. “But,” you might say, “Who has time to relax?” Maybe a better word would be to “prioritize.” Take a look at these tips that have worked for family members, teachers, therapists, and others interested in the well-being of individuals with autism.
1. Make a list of things that MUST get done and let the other things slide occasionally.
2. Avoid getting so focused on the list that you fail to take time to make personal connections.
3. Forgive yourself and others if some things don’t get done.
4. Make certain the list includes this item: “Spend time enjoying friends and family.”

TIP FOR THE DAY: Attaining perfection is not your ultimate purpose, so relax and enjoy life, and help your friend with autism do the same. Take care of as many items on the list as possible each day; then relax so you can be tuned up for a fresh start the next day.

Possibly Related posts:

Perfection “I’m just overwhelmed with the details,” said one parent of...
Uneven Social Skills One notable aspect of autism is some degree of difficulty...
Myth of Relaxation We can best meet daily challenges when we relax. But...

Ice Cream Ban

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:01:07 +0000

Some individuals with autism have milk allergies, but want to enjoy this special treat. How can a person enjoy ice cream if they are allergic to milk and milk products? There are some lactose-free ice-cream substitutes on the market. You can also make some frosty treats at home. The key is to avoid making a big issue over the fact that ice cream is banned, and, instead, to savor the foods that are, indeed, allowed.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

FROZEN GRAPES: Take grapes off the stem, wash them, and put them in a ziplock bag in the freezer. Your friend with autism can pop one or two in their mouth for a healthy, frosty snack on hot summer days.

FRUIT JUICE POPCICLES: Let your friend with autism select two or three of their favorite natural fruit juices. The best choices are 100% juices with no additives. Pour juice in small paper cups, filling over half full. Put a popcicle stick in each cup and pop in freezer overnight. When ready for a snack, pull a yummy fruit popcicle out of the freezer, peel the paper cup off, and enjoy!

SMOOTHIE: Put fresh fruit, fruit juice, a bit of sugar, and a dash of vanilla in a blender, whirring until smooth and creamy. Pour the mixture in a frosty glass and serve with a spoon or a straw. Let your friend with autism pick their favorite fruits for the smoothie. For example, they may like a single fruit, e.g. strawberry or peach, or they may prefer a combination, e.g. strawberry/banana or mango/orange.

TIP FOR THE DAY: If you or a friend with autism is unable to eat ice cream because of food sensitivities or allergies, follow these two steps: (1) avoid making a big issue of a person’s inability to eat ice cream, and (2) introduce some yummy alternatives, again without fanfare about the ban on ice cream. Just introduce some frosty treats, and enjoy!

Possibly Related posts:

Stealth Health: Frosty Fruits Fresh fruits are like super foods, impacting the health of...
Stealth Health: Blueberries “My son refuses to eat fruits and vegetables,” said parent...
Compulsive Snacking Parents and teachers often comment on the challenge of preventing...

Death

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:01:10 +0000

In the past few months, two of my friends with autism have suddenly and unexpectedly lost family members to accident or disease. How do we help our friends deal with the issue of sudden death of a loved one?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

As is true of many challenges related to autism, the topic of death could fill a book. Since we just have a short space to touch on the topic, let me discuss one important aspect of death. Over three decades of close, personal, long-term relationships with many individuals with autism and their families has taught me this one critical hint when helping a friend deal with death of a loved one: AVOID ASSUMPTIONS.

I’ve learned to avoid assuming a person with autism will grieve in the same way we might when a parent or beloved grandparent dies. Some of my friends with autism are so much “in the moment” that they appear to focus on the present rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.

For example, one young teen lost his dad in a car wreck last spring. His family was surprised and, actually, a bit upset when the teenager did not seem sad over the loss of his dad. The youngster is perceptive, is in typical classes at school, and communicates well with people around him. But he has always been rather matter-of-fact and unemotional. Although he seems very content and readily participates in activities with his family, schoolmates, and music, he rarely displays emotions, good or bad, under any circumstances.

As is true with all individuals, some individuals with autism will try to hide their grief or will react very emotionally when a loved one dies. But, in the case of this young man, he seemed to take the negative circumstance in stride. He still talks about activities he enjoyed with his dad, but he does not seem to be upset or sad that his dad is no longer around. It is as if he just accepts death as a part of life.

Over the years, several other friends with autism have had similar reactions when beloved grandparents or other favorite family members have died. The unemotional reaction seems to be most prevalent with individuals who have a rather flat affect and who approach life matter-of-factly.

TIP FOR THE DAY: We must, of course, always be thoughtful and supportive when a friend with autism loses a friend or family member to death. But, at the same time, we must avoid assuming they will grieve or struggle with the sudden or unexpected death of a loved one in the same way we might.

Possibly Related posts:

Thick Skin “It seems that everyone thinks my son would be a...
Insider Perspective Occasionally I get an e-mail from a “long-distance” acquaintance, an...
Non-Verbal Communication Those of you who are listening to this podcast can...

Cooling Down

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:01:14 +0000

The hot days of summer have arrived in my part of the world, and most folks are more conscious of the cost and consumption of energy required for air conditioning. Some individuals with autism are rather oblivious to air temperature, but others are sensitive to heat and are uncomfortable at best in the summer. How can we help our friends cool down on hot days?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

+ CHANGE THE SUBJECT. I’ve noticed that adverse circumstances such as extreme temperatures, illness, and other issues, can be magnified if discussed frequently. For example, sometimes people do not realize they are miserably hot unless folks around them keep talking about the temperature. Consider turning off the weather channel so you are not so focused on the outside temperature. If you know that the thermometer has risen above 100 degrees, keeping your comments to yourself, and avoid complaining about the summertime heat throughout the day,

+ COOL BANDANA. Moisten some bandanas, then wring them out and put in a zip lock bag. Keep the bandanas in the refrigerator overnight. As the heat builds up in the afternoon, folks can tie a cool bandana around their neck or put it on top of their head for an instant cooling. One of my young adult friends with autism keeps four or five moist bandanas in his freezer so he can change them out on hot days.

+ LAZY DAYS. Take lawn chairs into the yard, and lounge under a misty sprinkler. Instant cooling!

+ SNOW DAYS. Just for fun, declare a day in middle of summer as a “snow day.” Write the day on the calendar, then plan to explore books, videos, and nature magazines that focus on topics like polar bears, penguins, the Arctic and Antarctic, skiing, ice-fishing, or the winter Olympics. Sing songs like Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman, and Let It Snow. Go for a ride to find a snow cone stand so you can chill your tummy.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Weather extremes can certainly make folks miserable, but, in spite of our best efforts., we are NOT able to control the weather. So, the tip for the day is to make the best of a challenging situation by either ignoring the thermometer or by celebrating the extreme temperatures.

Possibly Related posts:

Air Temperature A teen friend diagnosed with autism sent an e-mail with...
Dog Days “Because my daughter is echolalic, she has begun repeating her...
Icy Blast My daughter with autism is echolalic and has started repeating...

Screaming

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 04:01:24 +0000

A friend was excited that her family finally had a chance to rent a cabin in a little family beach resort for a weekend vacation. Their teenage daughter with autism seemed to enjoy the drive so the family was hopeful about having a calm vacation. But their optimism vanished when she began screaming and shouting once they checked into their cabin after supper.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

WHY SCREAM? In this case, the youngster was not screaming as if in distress, but out of excitement. The teenager’s excitement was probably magnified because of the new surroundings and change of routine. She only speaks a few words and phrases, so she was not able to express her excitement in more appropriate ways. Because the neighboring cabins in the little resort were close, her parents realized they were more sensitive to their daughter’s loud sounds than they would have been at home.

WHAT ARE OUR OPTIONS? Mom and Dad were both on edge, but they took a deep breath and talked about options. Dad confessed that he was just about ready to put their bags in the car and drive home. But, instead, they family got in the car for a drive down the beach. Their daughter’s loud noises didn’t disturb neighbors as long as she was in the car. And she eventually settled down and enjoyed the ride. When she was sleepy, they eased into the cabin, slept through the night, and enjoyed the rest of the vacation. Any time she started getting excited and making loud noises, , everyone piled in the car for a drive down the beach. Granted, this solution will not work in every situation. But it did work for this family at this time.

TIP FOR THE DAY: It is difficult to make our friends with autism stop screaming and shouting when in new places. But we can usually help the situation by staying calm, talking softly, and, if possible, taking a drive. A ride in the family car gives a person with autism the security of a familiar place. Also, cars isolate loud shouting and screaming, so we don’t have to worry about the reaction of other people.

Possibly Related posts:

Fireworks How can we help our son enjoy the fun and...
Noisy Fireworks Fireworks are a fun part of many summer celebrations –...
Anticipation and Anxiety A teenager who describes herself as being diagnosed with high-functioning...

Imposing Our Preferences

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 04:01:50 +0000

Sometimes it is good to step back and take a close look at our expectations for our children, students, or friends with autism. It is often necessary to provide support and guidance in many facets of our friends’ lives, but we need to be careful not to impose our preferences needlessly.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

My husband and I encountered this issue when our children were very young. At meals, my husband frequently reminded the boys to “sit up straight” and to “clean your plate.” Although I didn’t want our kids to waste food or to slouch needlessly, frequent corrections from Dad put a damper on the conversation at our meals. He and I compromised about the issue, agreeing to help the boys learn appropriate table manners while, at the same time, avoiding nagging them during meals.

Because we spend so much time helping our family members or students with autism learn skills in so many different areas, it is certainly easy to fall in the trap of imposing our preferences needlessly. For example, one of my adult friends with autism has been in conflict with his parents for many years because his extreme tactile defensiveness makes it very difficult for him to tolerate shaving.

Another young friend will only eat about six different foods. His parents have not yet been able to convince critical grandparents that their son’s selectiveness is a characteristic common in autism. The grandparents think the parents are spoiling the youngster. The parents are thankful their son has expanded to six foods, and finally eats something other than macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch, and supper.

In the long run, expectations such as sitting up straight or keeping our hair combed can lose importance in the grand scheme of life. Just because we like to keep our closet in absolutely perfect order or we like to eat pancakes for breakfast rather than supper, we don’t need to impose those preferences on other people.

TIP FOR THE DAY: There are, of course, some social skills and behavior issues that must be addressed and shaped so our friends with autism can function as smoothly as possible in society. At the same time, our goal is not to mold a person in our concept of perfection, but rather, to maximize potential and enhance the quality of life.

Possibly Related posts:

Semi-Independent Living Some adults with autism hover right on the edge of...
Quick Fixes Sometimes we can find quick fixes to challenging situations encountered...
Holiday House Guests “We are having houseguests for the holidays, and we want...

Really Mean It # 2

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:01:33 +0000

Part 1 of this discussion introduced the concept that parents, teachers, and others use more than words when giving instructions. Sometimes individuals with autism are not able to pick up on vocal tone or facial expression, and other cues that help individuals know that, for example, Mom really means it when she says, “Come to the table.” Because individuals with autism sometimes miss nuances and social cues, they may not follow instructions.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

So, for example, when Mom says, “Come to the table,” she may, indeed, be giving a casual reminder or a gentle warning. At other times, the very same words demand immediate compliance. I find it useful to follow a four-step process when I want my friends with autism to pay attention to a specific direction and to follow it in a reasonable time.

Step 1. Capture attention. I stop what I’m doing and connect with my friend with autism, either by calling their name, touching their hand, or standing close.

Step 2. Give specific instruction. I immediately tell them specifically what to do. Notice I do not tell them what I do NOT want them to do. For example, I will say, “Hands on knees,” rather than “Don’t touch the food in the serving dish until we are all sitting down and ready to eat.” Or I will say, “Mouth quiet, no sounds,” rather than, “You are really distracting the other kids, so you need to quit talking and quit interrupting the class.”

Step 3. Wait expectantly. After giving a specific direction, I give my friend with autism time to process and follow the direction. I wait quietly with a positive, expectant look on my face. When they follow the direction as much as possible, I say, “Good job!”

Step 4. Break it down. If they do not follow the direction, I break it down and follow steps 1, 2, and 3. So, for example, I break down the instruction, “Please clear the table,” by saying things like, “Put this glass on the counter,” then “Put this plate in the dishwasher.” Then I wait expectantly and say, “Way to go,” when they finish one task.

TIP FOR THE DAY: There are many reasons why individuals with autism do not readily follow instructions, so this process doesn’t always work. But, if you start with these four steps, you are giving your friend the best possible chance of knowing that you really mean what you say and that you expect them to follow your directions.

Possibly Related posts:

Follow the Crowd Most people learn naturally by following the lead of other...
What Did I Say? The father of a young adult with autism who has...
Following Instructions A mom of a fifth grader with autism is concerned....

Really Mean It #1

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:01:43 +0000

At best, individuals with autism often struggle to translate all the signals we send. For example, most kids can distinguish the urgency of directions their parents or teachers give, but children with autism may not catch all the nuances. How can we help our friends with autism know that we really mean it?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

For example, when we say, “Come to the table,” we are sometimes giving absent-minded reminders that it is about time to come to the table at school, at home, or at work. Many times our families or students we usually give instruction three or four times before we “really mean it.”

On the other hand, the very same words sometimes demand immediate compliance as soon as we utter the phrase. In most cases, we speak louder and more impatiently, glaring until everyone follows the instruction.

It is important to remember that our friends with autism do not always pick up on our body language and tone of voice and glares, so they may not understand the urgency with which we are speaking. Many individuals with autism are unable to discern the social cues accompanying the words, so they do not always follow instructions adequately.

In part 2 of this topic, we will outline a strategy for communicating verbal instructions more clearly, so our friends with autism know without a doubt that we “really mean it” this time. Over time, this strategy will most likely make life much more pleasant for everyone involved.

Possibly Related posts:

Really Mean It # 2 Part 1 of this discussion introduced the concept that parents,...
Noticing Social Cues To one degree or another, many individuals with autism fail...
Mirroring Skills “My students with autism don’t seem to mirror what others...

Water World

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:01:33 +0000

Although some individuals with autism do not like swimming or even taking a bath, others love water so much they must have been born in the ocean. Now that summer is here, let’s look at some fun ways to enjoy water, especially for our friends who are unable to tolerate crowded public swimming pools.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

1. Back yard water park. Put two or three different “kiddie” pools in the yard. Put water in one and put water with some floating toys in another. Put the sprinkler beside the third one so it rains in that pool. Put a “Slip ‘n Slide” in a smooth part of the yard. Or just spread a long sheet of heavy plastic watered down by a hose so your friends can run and slip. Get one of the fun crazy sprinklers that shoot water all around in patterns or randomly.

2. Lawn chair. One of my adult friends with autism who loves water came up with a relaxing way to enjoy water in the summer. He is too big for kiddie pools, and he cannot tolerate the crowds at a swimming pool. So he purchased a reclining mesh lawn chair. He sits in the sun under the sprinkler in his backyard. He particularly likes the fan-type sprinklers that move back and forth, so he is periodically in the water, then out. Because he has always liked the sound of rain, he occasionally sits in his chair holding an umbrella over his head so he can hear the pitter-patter of the sprinkler water on his umbrella.

3. Beach. If you live anywhere close to a shoreline – beach or lakeshore – visit it every chance you have. The rhythm of the waves, the wide open spaces, the constant motion of birds and people, and the unending water are pure heaven for many people with autism. Beaches are autism-friendly because no one pays attention to people who make loud noises or have unusual behaviors. Granted, some individuals cannot tolerate the sand. In that case, look for a rocky shoreline. Rhythmic waves and endless water are the key components.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Find water for your “fishy” friend with autism. It will bring lots of contentment and joy.

Possibly Related posts:

Water Games I think some of my friends with autism are actually...
Cool, Cool Water The dog days of summer can be difficult. The heat...
Backyard Fun Sometimes we get so wrapped up in dealing with the...

Noisy Fireworks

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:01:26 +0000

Fireworks are a fun part of many summer celebrations – ball games, outdoor concerts, amusement parks, and other big events. But many individuals with autism react to random, loud noises by screaming, scratching, throwing objects, or running away. How can we help our friends enjoy the colorful visual patterns and brilliant bursts of light in a fireworks display?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

We are sharing a plan featured last summer on FAQautism, a strategy a family successfully implemented several years ago for their 6-year-old daughter. The plan works better each summer, and now their daughter actually looks forward to the Fourth of July celebration in her community every year.
1. Find out the approximate time and the location of the big fireworks display in your community or in a surrounding community.
2. Several nights before the celebration, scout out a hill or a roadside park at least one mile away from that location that would allow you to see the pretty lights without so much sound.
3. Originally, this family moved to the car and rolled up the windows when the fireworks started because their daughter had extreme reactions to random sounds. But, over the past five years, they have been able to crack the windows a bit.
4. In order to capture the spirit of the celebration of the Fourth of July, pop in a CD of John Phillip Sousa patriotic marches to play while the fireworks are “bursting in air!”
5. Last year the family videotaped the event and their daughter enjoyed watching the show over the past twelve months. The video captured the sounds of the fireworks along with the beautiful bursts and colorful patterns of light. Because the youngster is now more familiar with the concept of lights and sound, her family anticipates she may be able to sit on a lawn chair outside the car during the distant fireworks display this year.

TIP FOR THE DAY: The key to this plan is finding a place where your friend with autism can enjoy the incredible lights and visual patterns of fireworks without the stress of loud sounds.

NOTE TO READERS AND LISTENERS: I am Cathy Knoll, a board certified music therapist and long-time friend of many folks with autism. At FAQautism.com we are committed to providing free, practical, everyday tips for making life better for people with autism. Feel free to send me an email with your thoughts or challenging situations or innovative solution. Send email to talk@FAQautism.com And don’t forget to check out our website for a wealth of ideas and a glimpse into the world of autism. http://FAQautism.com

Possibly Related posts:

Fireworks How can we help our son enjoy the fun and...
Red, White, and Blue “My daughter loves to look at fireworks, but she...
Summer Traditions Sometimes we get so bogged down in dealing with special...

Priorities

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:01:57 +0000

Sometimes we have to pick our battles. There is simply not enough time in a day to address all the issues that arise in the lives of many individuals with autism – challenges in social interaction, communication, sensory sensitivity, repetitive rituals, obsessive interests. So how can we prioritize all of that?

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

We learn to pick our battles, sometimes ignoring behaviors that might be considered inappropriate. For example, if we are helping a youngster with autism learn to participate in group activities, we might ignore his nail-biting or hand-flapping as long as he makes some effort to stay seated in the group and to imitate his peers.

To keep from constantly nagging a person, we might tolerate behaviors inherent in autism such as rocking or murmuring quietly or refusing to eat foods with certain textures. We might tolerate an obsession with a ragged blanket or the need to follow precisely the same routine every single night before bed.

If a teen with autism is learning to sit quietly rather than screaming loudly, we might ignore his constant humming. If we are helping an individual with autism learn to sit at the table during a group meal without throwing silverware or a plate, it would probably be counterproductive to start nagging him about cleaning his plate or using a napkin.

It is, of course, occasionally critical that we take swift action to stop a behavior. Sometimes a person with autism is in danger of hurting them selves or another person. It is also important to step in when a person’s public behavior is extremely inappropriate or destructive. It is up to us to decide whether the behavior truly needs immediate attention, or whether we reacting because we are annoyed or irritated.

TIP FOR THE DAY: So, we need to pick our battles carefully, a strategy that sometimes requires us to ignore or tolerate behaviors so we can focus on the priority issues.

Possibly Related posts:

Pick Your Battles Teachers, therapists, family members, job coaches, residential staff, and others...
Behavior Management Family members, teachers, therapists, and others interested in the well-being...
An Elusive Goal Effective behavior management is an elusive goal. A friend with...

Take a Walk

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:01:45 +0000

Sometimes we get so involved in plans and strategies that we forget the simple pleasures in life. Taking a casual stroll with our friends with autism gives you a change of scenery and a break from your daily routine. And walking is free, easy, and simple. So, take a break and take a walk.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

Let’s look at the benefits of taking a daily stroll with our friends with autism.

1. NO PRESSURE. Some individuals with autism struggle with aggressive behavior, inappropriate language, disruptive sounds, or other challenges. When we walk around the track at school or take a stroll in a park, we don’t have to worry about our friend’s behavior issues. A walk through the great outdoors gives us a chance to walk side by side without concern for the reactions of other people.

If your friend is a runner or tends to bolt suddenly, walk in a gym or in a large, fenced school playground. You can also hold hands as you walk. Some parents and teachers make certain the youngster is wearing a sturdy belt firmly attached with good jeans. That allows them to walk close with their hand on their friends back or shoulder and discreetly hold onto the belt if necessary. Do what is needed to be safe. Once the daily walk becomes a regular event, many runners settle into the routine and stick by your side.

2. HEALTH BENEFITS. Fresh air, exercise, and a break from the daily routine impacts our physical health as well as our emotional well-being.

3. PERSONAL CONNECTIONS. Taking a walk with our friends with autism gives us uninterrupted time to make personal connections and develop relationships. Friendship and time are probably the most valuable gifts we can give any person with autism.

4. NO HASSLE. Taking a walk with your friend with autism is free and simple. Just grab a few minutes each day and head out the door.

TIP FOR THE DAY: Quit making excuses – just go!

Possibly Related posts:

Blue Summer Many teens enjoy the relaxed, unhurried schedule of summer break...
After Graduation Part 1 In May and June, thousands of individuals with autism will...
Getting Outside “As long as he had three meals a day, my...

The Ultimate Goal

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 04:01:10 +0000

Sometimes we lose sight of the ultimate goal. It is easy to get so focused on dealing with a problem or teaching a new skill that we forget about the “personhood” of our friends with autism.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

Some thoughts to ponder:

1. PERFECTION IS IMPOSSIBLE. Although we certainly want to do what we can to help our friends with autism maximize their potential, it is unrealistic to expect perfection. The same principle applies to family members and teachers and therapist and advocates and others. We might want to moderate the level of our condemnation when a person working with our youngsters with autism falls short of perfection. Along those same lines, we need to forgive ourselves when we make a mistake or an error in judgment.

2. CONTROL IS UNHEALTHY. The parents of one of my long time students were talking about their rather fanatical behavior at school planning meetings when their son was in elementary school. In retrospect, they realized they had taken a step beyond trying to help their son. Instead, they had unwittingly moved into the realm of being obsessive and controlling. As years flew by, they both realized that controlling every single minute of their child’s life was counterproductive.

3. PLANNING HELPS. Our friends with autism certainly benefit from planning. Education plans, training plans, behavior plans, therapy plans, dietary plans, health and fitness plans, and financial planning keep us on track as we work together as a team to help maximize the potential of an individual. Effective planning defines realistic goals and step-by-step strategies to help an individual move toward those goals. The danger in planning is that of overlooking the individual and viewing a person with autism as a neat list of goals and objectives and strategies.

4. RELATIONSHIPS ROCK! Many family members and teachers and therapists over the years have realized the value of taking time to connect with their friends with autism. Strategies and skills training and education and programs are helpful, but friendship and personal connections are what make the world go around. Even if a person’s autism keeps them from reciprocating friendship, we still need to take time to nourish that relationship and demonstrate unconditional love.

TIP FOR THE DAY: I guess it could be said that the ultimate goal is to bring balance into the lives of our friends with autism, helping them maximize their potential while at the same time nurturing relationships to enhance the quality of their daily lives.

Possibly Related posts:

Contentment vs. Perfection A mother wrote of her rather fanatical behavior at a...
Holding Too Tight? Sometimes we hold too tightly to our friends with autism,...
Living at Home After graduation from high school, some individuals with autism will...

Literal Terms

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:01:09 +0000

Because literal language is a characteristic common to autism, we might want to think carefully about terminology we use to avoid miscommunication.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

Recently, a friend was taken aback when a young adult with autism talked for twenty minutes “without taking a breath” in great detail about his mother’s health issues. My friend said she was embarrassed to hear all the personal details, and later realized that the young man with autism took her literally when she casually asked, “How is your mother doing?”

Parents and teachers also realize the consequences of making casual remarks. For example, a pre-teen exploded last week when she perceived the teacher broke a promise. The teacher casually commented that the class would go outside after lunch, then changed her mind when she realized the students needed to complete their science unit.

Another student with autism caused quite a stir at school when he took his teacher’s direction to stay seated in his chair until he finished his math problems quite literally. The school had a fire drill, but he would not stand up and evacuate because he had not finished his math problems.

Confusion can also arise over the different terminology. For example, a room with a toilet can be called a bathroom, a restroom, a toilet, the ladies room, the men’s room, or the john. Not everyone is able to shift meaning between terms. One of my young adult friends with autism was asked if he needed to go to the bathroom. Taking that term very literally, the young man replied, “No, I took a bath last night.”

TIP FOR THE DAY: Think of the words you use. If you can see a person with autism is confused or is refusing to follow directions, take time to think of the words spoken. This will give you a chance to determine if the individual may have misunderstood what was said because of their tendency toward literal translation.

Possibly Related posts:

Diapers and Respect For a variety of reasons, some individuals with autism must...
Teacher Instructions Many youngsters with autism encounter difficulty in school because of...
Toilet Talk As youngsters with autism grow into teens and young adults,...

Mom vs Dad

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:01:24 +0000

What do you do if you disagree heartily with your spouse about the best strategies for raising your youngster with autism? Over the years, I have only known a few couples who have seen eye-to-eye about raising kids – whether the youngsters are diagnosed with autism or not.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

I am certainly not qualified to be a marriage counselor, but I’ve learned a few things over the years that might be helpful for parents who are at odds with their spouse over child-rearing.

1. PEOPLE DISAGREE. I think it is just human nature to disagree – boss vs employee, brother vs sister, teen vs adult, customer vs business owner, teacher vs student, mom vs kids vs dad. Although autism adds intensity to the disagreement, I encourage people to recognize the disagreements are part of human nature.

2. MOMS AND DADS ARE DIFFERENT. Moms simply view the world differently from dads. Because of the different perspectives of men and women, the challenges of dealing with autism are magnified in family situations. I’ve talked to dads who think their wives are overreacting, and I’ve talked to moms who think their husbands don’t care about their child with autism. I’ve talked to moms who think their husbands are too strict and demanding, and I’ve talked to dads who think their wives are spoiling their child with autism.

3. CONFLICT ADDS STRESS. Sometimes we make matters worse because we want the other person to agree with us. We get very agitated with our spouse because they don’t respond to our attempts to change them. That tension between mom and dad just adds stress to daily family life, especially when the arguments erupt in front of the kids. Our kids also pick up on our negative comment and complaints about our spouse. Complaining and nagging often make the other person more stubborn and even less likely to listen to our point of view

4. AGREE TO DISAGREE. We need to simply accept the fact that we will not always “win.” In many cases, our stubborn husbands or our emotional wives are not going to change, so we need to just let some things go. Accepting this fact runs counter to human nature, but agreeing to disagree is often the only way to bring peace to the family.

TIP FOR THE DAY: I realize all this is easier said than done. But it is important to take a step back and think about the well-being of your youngster with autism. Arguments, discord, strife, and complaints about the other person rarely add to quality of life. It is often more productive to take a deep breath, accept the situation we are in, and carry on.

Possibly Related posts:

Who Cares? Two parents of elementary aged youngsters with autism were talking...
What Did I Say? The father of a young adult with autism who has...
Know Your Limits When we live with an individual with autism, we become...

Retro Summer

Talk@FAQautism.com (Cathy Knoll, MA, MT-BC) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:01:12 +0000

Sometimes something as simple as having a theme for summer activities can add the structure necessary to help our friends with autism who get extraordinarily agitated or frustrated during relaxed, unstructured summer vacation. No need to spend a lot of time, energy, or money. Just add a theme to add focus and organization to rather random activities.

Listen Now:

or

continue reading

Here’s an example of a summer theme that one of my obsessive, extraordinarily structured friends with autism still talks about several years later. His family enjoyed a “Retro Summer” featuring fun times from the childhood of the parents in the 1950’s.
+ Grandparents sent black and white photos of the parents as children – snapped on a Brownie camera and printed with the date on the side of the picture.
+ The teens in the family searched iTunes for classic songs from the 50’s.
+ The whole family spent a bit of time every evening with activities the parents remembered from their childhood: blowing bubbles, making paper airplanes, playing with a hula hoop, playing in a sandbox, having water gun fights, playing hide and go seek, playing horseshoes, or eating watermelon and spitting the seeds.
+ Throughout the summer, the family occasionally sat down to watch an episode of a television show popular in that era while munching on popcorn.
+ The family also gathered around the table to play games from the parents’ childhoods – Bingo, Go Fish, and checkers.
+ The family had an on-going, informal “kick ball tournament” throughout the summer.

TIP FOR THE DAY: It seems like a small thing, but having a theme to the summer made a big impact on the attitude of this young teenager. Because he saw some purpose and organization to summer, he was much less agitated and much more content. Family members were very relieved that he wasn’t constantly bugging them. And, to top it all off, everyone in the family had fun during that retro summer, even reluctant Dad and normally negative teenage daughter.

Possibly Related posts:

Long Hot Summer “The summer months are so long,” said a mother of...
Summer’s Coming The lazy, hazy days of summer are just around the...
Peaceful Summer Although most youngsters love the freedom of long, summer days,...