Farhan Dhalla

At This Table: A Mother’s Day Tribute

2024-05-08T07:22:00.000-07:00

At This table

At this table many celebrations for Mother's day once took place. At this table candle's were blown and wishes were made on birthdays.

At this table there were Eid and Christmas dinners and various holiday celebrations.

At this table were family gatherings just because.

When Mama, a loving member of our family and a powerful matriarch transitioned, the centralization of what brought people together like at this table was lost.

It's not the same anymore. I grieve my mom and a the loss of what no longer happens at this table.

But at this table I'm joined by many others. They include, pain, loneliness, hurt, sadness and grief. They have all have a place at this table and everyone is welcome. They have a lot to share. I sit. I listen and be present to every word.

I am sitting at this table as I write this and I am flooded with memories. Some so clear as if they were yesterday and others that are vague and seem to be fading away.

At this table I am also joined by gratitude, joy, happiness, laughter, harmony and love. They too have a lot to say. They too have a lot to contribute to the conversation. Their words are healing, give me hope and leave me curious about what the future could be like with or without this table.

At this table today I set a place setting in honour of mom for Mother's day. This is where she sat whenever we gathered at this table. This is her seat. Even in spirit she is welcome here at this table. She will always be a part of every meal, every occasion and celebration. She continues to fill my heart with her love and her bright light just like she did every time we sat together at this table.

Happy Mother's Day Mama🌺

Love You Forever🕊

Miss you so much ❤️

Look at the Moon: Updated Version:

2024-04-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

May 9, 2009 -Updated

I decided to re-write my original blog to include details I hadn't in my original post. The events of that night still sit with me. As I reflect back on that night I'm eternally grateful for the few hours I spent with Clay and how it changed me for the better.

Look at the MOON

A full moon usually means sleepless nights for me. I can always tell there's one coming up. Like clockwork, two days before every full moon I'm charged with restless energy and unable to sleep. There's a magnitude of energy and mystery when it comes to the moon. It gives me this power and yet I have no idea what it's for? I suspect the lunar cycle and all it's properties will have a multitude of meaning in my life. Part of my lunar journey had a huge impact on me, taught me major life lessons and moment I'll always remember. The events took place in Fayetteville, Arkansas, USA.

I was on business in Fayetteville in 2009 teaching workshops. At the time I was an International Fitness Presenter and Reebok Master Trainer. My work took me worldwide including places I never dreamt of travelling to. It was always an adventure and I loved meeting fitness enthusiasts, like me. After completing my first day of work I found myself alone in my hotel room and hungry. Wanting some company to share a meal with I did something I had never done before. I found someone online in a chat room and invited him to join me. I figured the city was new to discover so I'd find someone who lived there who could recommend a great place to dine and maybe show me around. Clay was the first person I met on a local chat line and within minutes of meeting him our comfort level grew almost instantly. Within minutes of our chat, I knew I wanted his company for diner. Though I had never met previously my intuition led me to believe it was safe to connect in person. Clay had never chatted with someone online either. This was new to both of us. Clay happened to be five minutes from my hotel. I quickly got dressed and met him at the front of my hotel. We exchanged a quick hello, I got into his car and off we went.

Clay took us to one of his favourite restaurants. Fayetteville is a small city and getting to the restaurant was a short drive. The only way to describe our time together was inspirational and life changing. We had an incredible dinner filled with conversation that felt like two friends who had known each other for a long time. There was an instant feeling of comfort and ease around him. Clay got very personal about his past. I believe we all have unique stories. I just hadn't expected to hear anything like his. From a young age Clay was homeless and hungry living on the streets, a victim of child abuse and left to fend for himself for much of his childhood. He ended up in foster homes where he was further abused. He was eventually adopted by an affluent family. They had three girls, and the husband wanted a son. According to Clay, his adopted mother hated him and treated him as such. She felt like she failed not giving her husband a son, and resented Clay. In his latter teens he started suffering from post-traumatic stress from his childhood and his parents feared that his history was surfacing so they sent him to an orphanage. Clay joined the rodeo at 16 and was a special man in many ways. He made his way to the army and eventually married a girl who was pregnant with another man's baby. But he loved her and wanted to give the child a home. He provided her with a car and a house. Unfortunately, she suffered a miscarriage but they latter had a son of their own. His name is Beau. They since parted but co-parent Beau. Clay went on to be a well known hair stylist and worked on Rodeo drive in Los Angeles. He has clients that have him flown in from Arkansa including many celebrities. Back in Arkansas, Clay also works and volunteers with disabled children including teaching sign language to the hearing impaired. He's committed himself to helping children hoping never to see them abused or go hungry. He described what life was like being a dirty and hungry child and it made my heart ache.

After dinner we made our exit from the restaurant, we were met with what appeared to be a group of angry protestors. As we got closer, I was able to see signs they were holding high that said, "Gays are going to hell." They were yelling at any sort of bystanders spreading their awful hate. I have heard about and seen such people on the news and media sources but never experienced anything like this in person. My heart started to race, and fear spread throughout my body. I felt danger though there was nothing we did to warrant any attention on us. However, Clay very assuredly and confidently instructed me to hold his hand. Not knowing in that moment whether it was the right or wrong thing to do but more impulsively I reached out my hand to meet his. He grabbed it and held it tight. I tried to drown out the craziness around me increasing my grip on his hand. We came within a few feet of them when he took me by complete surprise. Clay turned toward me and grabbed me by the waist, pulled me close into him and pressed his lips up against mine. His back was to the protesters, while they were in my full frontal view, but I shut my eyes. I then pressed my lips toward him matching his kiss. I thought my heart was going to stop. I was completely frozen. After what felt was like an eternity, he withdrew his lips and said, "C'mon, lets go."He continued to hold my hand as we walked past the hateful group. We crossed the street to move past them not making any eye contact with them. I knew if we did, we were giving them what they wanted. We both refused to acknowledge them. We continued to walk not looking back till their voices drowned out behind us. I was in utter shock as to what just happened. It appeared to me that Clay had encountered situations like this before. I had never seen anyone stand in their power that way. I was in awe of him and very thankful that the situation didn't escalate but, in many ways, felt a rush of empowerment. Once we were in his car, I think I exhaled. I turned to him speechless. Clay didn't seem fazed at all about what just happened. "Screw that shit, I don't let anyone get the better of me." he said. We drove off leaving the whole experience behind us.

When I said yes to meeting Clay for dinner, I had no idea what lay ahead of me. And the rest of the night continued to be memorable, though for different reasons.

A gentle rainfall started as we drove out of the city into the countryside. As we made our way around Fayetteville he talked about nature with such awe and appreciation including the blissfulness of a gentle rainfall. He described how it made him feel as it fell on his body when he was a child. He looked at the simplest forms of nature, the sun, the clouds, the rainbows and described the beauty, colours, and scents in such a way that I felt like I had let a lifetime of rainfalls slip me by. I felt like I had missed so much despite my worldly travels. I thanked him for making me feel and experience the beauty around me and for introducing me to its existence. It was like reawakening all my senses and to a higher degree. A rainbow appeared and immediately Clay pointed to it with excitement. Like a child seeing it for the first time, his eyes lit up. he would point to creeks and ponds and describe what type of animals lived there. He pointed to a lake and said watching the dew rise off the lake in the morning was a beautiful scene. I realized that while Clay was homeless these were the things that kept him going. He found life and beauty around him despite his circumstances. It was his way of surviving and bringing meaning to his life that involved just being present. It wasn't about his home or car as he had no material possessions at that time. And he's never forgotten any of it. He pointed out old bards with admiration. Things that were old held a lot of sentimental value for him. Even if he wasn't part of its history, he would appreciate it as though it was a part of him. Looking at something old was like reading a story. It was filled with many of life's experiences.

We had only a few short hours together and yet in that little time I brought home so much with me. I had workshops to teach the next morning and from there I was off to catch my flight home. We said our goodbyes over the phone and from then onwards I couldn't stop thinking and processing all that I learned in that short period of priceless time. I was a changed man thanks to Clay.

A week latter with more open and awareness I saw a beautiful full moon. I had a feeling it was coming because of the sleepless night two days prior. I had discovered what it was like to have those childlike eyes Clay had. For the first time I really noticed the moon's radiance. I decided to write Clay a text saying, "Look at the moon!" I was about to hit send but due to the three-hour time difference it was still day light in Arkansas and like everything Clay had shown me I wanted to share the same moon with him. I decided to save the message in my drafts folder thinking I'd send it latter in the evening. That evening I had dinner plans and was meeting a friend. We were busy catching up as it had been some time that we had seen each other. I told my friend all about my recent trip to Fayetteville and the life changing experience I had in that short time with Clay. During dinner my message indicator went off. To my surprise there was a message from Clay. There was a sense of urgency of wanting to read his message, so I excused myself and looked at my phone. My eyes nearly popped out of my head, and I stood up in utter amazement. Speechless and stunned I read it repeatedly. "Is everything ok?" asked my friend. "Yeah.." I said. There on my cell phone was a message from Clay and it read "Look at the moon."

I realized that we don't have to know people for a lifetime to know who they are. I realized that no amount of time is a true measure of what defines a connection between any two people. I realized physical distance is not a source of separation.

I realized that the moon continues to be full of potential and mysterious energy.

I realized that every day is a miracle.

2024-01-05T16:08:00.000-08:00

The Death of My 52 Year Old Self

Today is my 53rd birthday and until yesterday I was afraid to die. I’m not referring to physical death. This is about the death of my old self, personality and all that which was filled with limiting beliefs on all levels, including subconscious that was held tightly by my EGOic mind. Yesterday I let go of what was no longer serving me at this time of my life. I let go of the fear that my ego held onto that was keeping me stuck from growing. Don’t get me wrong. There is still work to do and it’s a lifelong process. I’m sure there is more that needs to be addressed but in this moment I took a huge leap and overcame my ‘fear of death.’

This was the first time a part of me died that I didn't grieve for.

I then focused on forgiveness. I forgive myself for all the times I betrayed myself. I forgive myself for all the times I didn’t show up for me the way I needed. I forgive myself for all the times I didn’t trust myself. I forgive myself for every time I criticized, judged or abused myself in words, thoughts, actions and inactions. I forgive myself of not believing I am unlimited. I forgive myself for ever doubting that I am loving and lovable. I forgive myself for robbing myself of joy by comparing myself to others. I forgive myself of all the times I took the gift of life that was given to me for granted as well as every day that I have been given to live and experience. I forgive myself for every time I forgot who I AM. Finally, I forgive all those who didn’t see my worth and value because of their own wounds and fears.

I like to think of my life and everything I experience as a tree. The very base of the tree is the soil that which nurtures everything the tree will grow into existence. All that doesn’t serve me was released and let go from this soil. And now I chose to replace it all with the following nutrients

“Dear God, only you are my truest spiritual partner. It is safe to fully love my WHOLE self. I know how to love. It is safe to open my heart to a healthy relationship with myself and with a life partner”

Dear little Farhan, I’m here for you. I will always be here for you. You’ll never be alone. I got you.

Happy Birthday to me and my new tree🌲

Three Years Since Mom's Transitioning

2023-10-29T18:43:00.001-07:00

It's been three years today that there's been no hugs, kisses and hearing Mama's sweet voice say "have a great day" or "welcome home." It's been three years of entering a home where I am greeted with silence and emptiness. It's a constant reminder of what used to be there. A hug waiting for me, the voices and sounds of Mama that filled our home; a small framed lady with a gentle soft voice and yet her spirit so huge that her presence was always known, felt and loved. Whether I was away for a few short hours or for an extended period of time I always felt the anticipation of knowing Mama was there waiting for me. Without a doubt she always had one question for me, "When are you coming home?"

I always called her every day no matter what part of the world I was in. When she picked up the phone and heard my voice I would feel her sense of relief and peace. "Did you eat something?" and then ask again as if she didn't know "When are you coming home?"

But now home feels different. It's space that feels empty. Her absence feels like a bottomless crater that can never be filled.

What is grief like three years later? I had slowly and gently made a few attempts at clearing her drawers and closet. I was only able to let go of a few items at a time. But this past month, with the help and support of a few family members we were able to empty, donate and gift the remaining items in her room. Only recently did I start listening to all the voice messages that were left for me this day three years ago. Only now have I been able to read the many messages of condolences that were left for me on Facebook. Thank you ALL for the outpour of support.

Everyone's grief journey is unique. There are no specific timelines. This has just been my experience.

Despite the loses what has grown and continues to grow is my love for Mama. A bond of love never dies and continues to grow even when our loved ones are in spirit. We had a nightly ritual where she gave me three kisses every night. And now before going to bed I kiss her bedroom door. It's not the same but for me is a symbolic gesture of our ritual, and of our love.

I make pancakes every Sunday morning like we used to and have found ways to celebrate, honour and nurture our incredible bond.

I really get annoyed when people say "Your mom lovED you very much" in past tense. Her love for me never died. Nor did my love for her come to an end. If there is one thing I know for sure is that despite her physical absence I feel her love for me. Always.

What I'm not sure of is what 'home' is supposed to be like now? I'm still in a constant state of curiosity and discovery. Grief leaves you with many questions like "What does life look like for me now?" And I don't have all the answers. I just know that nothing will ever take her place. But tapping into my creativity for me is like prayer and a way to connect to my true source. And that creativity will lead to inspiration. THAT is my guiding force. THAT is where my faith guides me. THAT is my pathway home.

Love you forever Mama

Special thanks to Aliya Ladha and Farida Karmali for helping me with mom's room. I love you very much. Thank you.

Confessions of A Bollywood Trainer

2017-12-13T20:53:00.001-08:00

Spiritual Lesson: The Universe is always conspiring in your favour

It's amazing how one phone call can change your life. Especially when the caller is asking if you are free to take on a new client and the client happens to be Deepika Padukone. I was at a Starbucks drowning my sorrows in an Americano after leaving an audition for an Indian soft drink commercial that did not go well. I was feeling a sense of rejection because I knew I wasn't going to get 'that call' the one that said, 'hey you got the part!' And what was I doing at this audition anyway? Well, that's a whole other story. But when I heard the words from this totally unexpected call, my day was turning around in ways I never could have dreamed of. Now, I have to admit I didn't know too much about Miss Padukone. I may have heard her name in passing from some of my Bollywood following friends so I knew this was a big deal. (Insert apology to Bollywood fans for not knowing Deepika or having seen any of her movies). However, lets just say this wasn't just any phone call. Looking back it was all a divine orchestration from the universe to help me grow professionally, personally and more importantly, spiritually.

Spiritual Lesson: When the universe calls be prepared to answer!

"You got my attention." "Please tell me more!" Deepika was coming to Toronto to shoot her Hollywood debut "XXX The Return of Xander Cage" and was looking for a trainer and would I be interested in the job? It was a lot to digest in the moment but I felt excitement for this opportunity and I was more than up for the challenge. Most of my high profile clientele were world class professional athletes including, Olympians. I didn't know much about Bollywood or Deepika but it didn't matter because I am a specialist in functional movement including exercise prescription for any occupation and or function.

Spiritual Lesson: Be willing to say "Yes"

When a door suddenly opens up for you be prepared to walk through. Training a Bollywood actress wasn't one of my aspirations but who knew where this could all lead me? Of course I decided to Google her and that's when I realized the magnitude of a star I'd be working with and I saw this as an incredible opportunity. I knew that I could remain professional just as I had with the other high profile clients I worked with previously. I was eager, excited and also very curious. Where was this all going? And what did the universe have planned for me and for the both of us? No matter what was in store for me my answer to the universe was a whole hearted "yes!" to this experience.

Soon after that call I received a text message from Deepika. She was ready to start training! Upon that first meeting I couldn't help but feel her star presence. She definitely has that 'it' factor and I immediately understood why she was adorned by so many fans. During our first session we got to know each other and I developed a sense of the movie role and what was required of her. I was a physiotherapist for 14 years and prescribing exercises to help improve performance of any kind is my specialty. I'm quite passionate about my work and so I couldn't wait to get started!

I described my process and what distinguishes me from other trainers. I explained to Deepika how I'm an intuitive and work to help transform my clients physically and spiritually. I blended my background in physiotherapy, fitness and spirituality to create what I refer to as "Spiritual Personal Training." From my perspective we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I believe even our workouts are a spiritual experience and connecting to the deepest part of ourselves can help create the best possible transformation to any workout regime. Deepika was all too welcoming to my mind, body and spirit approach to training.

We had a great run and a lot of fun during this period. I grew quite fond of her and got to know her mom and dad as they too became my clients while visiting Deepika in Toronto

On the last day of our session I said a little prayer:

"My hope is that no matter where you and I go that our paths may cross again soon."

Spiritual Lesson: Every prayer is answered

Two weeks later I was in my car and I got a call. It was Deepika's manager! Deepika was to perform a dance number at the prestigious IIFA awards and was wondering if I was available to train her to help prepare for her performance? A few weeks later I was on a flight to Madrid, Spain.

This time, instead of training her for action sequences I had to train her for a Bollywood dance number. It amazed me how I had this one client but who required me to develop a variety of different programs because of their various occupational demands. This is pretty unusual but I loved the challenge. I gained a whole new respect for Deepika's talents. It takes tremendous focus and a lot of effort to be able to do all the things that she does as an artist. I loved that she had a strong discipline that she developed as an athlete playing badminton and applied it in her training and in every aspect of her career. It was similar to the world class athletes I had worked with in my career as a physiotherapist.

Whilst in Madrid I got to experience a bit of the glamorous side of the entertainment world. I had the incredible opportunity to not only attend IIFA but to also walk the Green carpet alongside Deepika's entourage. Again, not knowing much about Bollywood I had little knowledge of who's who other then a select few household names. Being back stage was great exposure, as it gave me insight as to all that goes into making a show for every Bollywood fans dream. It was filled with stars, dance, music, comedy and all that you can think of in one spectacular show. It was incredible to watch behind the scenes.

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Deepika floored me with her amazing dance performance and she walked away with an award for "Best Female Actress" for the movie 'Picu.' As a trainer I couldn't have been prouder. It was so rewarding watching a client perform live. All the hard work put into the training, dress rehearsals etc paid off. That moment was definitely one of the highlights of my career.

On the carpet at the IIFA Awards Madrid, Spain

Spiritual Lesson: The Universe loves to surprise you!

"I think you should come to India." (Enter jaw drop) as Deepika spoke these words. We were in the middle of a training session. I think my initial reaction was she's just kidding, but then judging from her tone I realized she was serious.

"India!" "Wow"

I fell silent for a bit then said, "Ok I'll consider it." I think those were the words I formulated? It was something along those lines anyway. I was just a bit thrown off by the unexpected offer. I refocused and resumed our training session. It was a lot to take in. I had to sit with this as the consideration for a relocation was a huge decision. I agreed to definitely give it a lot of thought. I knew that this was a great opportunity for me. Wow. Enter one Deepika Padukone in your life and suddenly it's drastically changed and for the better!

On January 2, 2017 I boarded a flight to Los Angeles. From there the adventure of my life continued in ways I couldn't have imagined. Deepika was touring to promote "XXX The Return of Xander Cage in what would be a hectic travel schedule and I accompanied her as her trainer. There were red carpet appearances in Mexico City, London England, Mumbai India and Los Angeles USA. In this phase I helped train Deepika for all her red carpet appearances always working to help her mind, body and spirit. The training changed to help her look and feel her best for the various carpets, photoshoots, interviews, and all her media appearances. We had to work at maintaining her energy level for the demanding schedule accounting for multiple changing time zones. It was a whirlwind and I really enjoyed the experience.

London, England premier of "XXX The Return of Xander Cage"

Spiritual Lesson: Always stay Grounded

Each week presented with new conditions which ultimately strengthened me as a trainer. I had to work and develop programs in new gyms, not always knowing ahead what equipment was available to me and yet best prepare her. It was during this period I realized just how important it is that you are balanced in mind, body and spirit and that neglecting one area can really throw you off your game. I saw how important it is to stay connected to your spirit and to be grounded or you can easily feel lost or overwhelmed. When your life is this demanding it’s ever more important to take the time to stay grounded. While working with Deepika in Toronto for "XXX" we established a foundation in helping her physically but also helping her to stay grounded. It was during this tour that I could see how this was significant in to the program I designed for her. Regular grounding is an important part of my daily living and for every client I work with. When you're grounded life feels like you’re in the flow of the universe with minimal resistance. It makes turbulent times more manageable.

Spiritual Lesson: Stay open to the idea that there are greater possibilities then your limited dreams

Bollywood was never on my radar. I've had many vision boards over the years and nowhere on there had I ever indicated to the universe any aspirations of becoming a Bollywood trainer. But I always remain open. In my daily prayer I state the following:

"God I say yes to your greatest plan and your highest vision for me."

Once the tour was complete we were off to Mumbai. I officially felt like I was now a #BollywoodTrainer. Deepika was shooting her latest epic movie "Padmavati." I had to once again shift the focus and the type of training as this role would now centre around Padmavati, a legendary 13th - 14th century Indian Queen. This was Deepika's most challenging role to date. It was important to continue to keep Deepika grounded, and energized for the highly demanding role.

I was now living in a foreign country working in a new environment. I had to utilize new resources, as I had in all the different cities we had travelled, to ensure that I was meeting Deepika's needs to help her with this role. I continued to learn a lot about myself. I learned how to be more flexible, creative and apply my knowledge in so many foreign environments and still design the appropriate programs to best help Deepika. Along with shooting the movie, Deepika had various commitments including photoshoots for magazine covers, commercials and ads as well as red carpet appearances including, the Cannes Film Festival! This entailed a hectic travel schedule. I had to design her programs to help her with her multifaceted and demanding schedule. During this period Deepika was named "Hottest Woman of the Year" by Maxim India!

Spiritual Lesson: Make Self Love your primary intention for every choice you make in your life

Having the biggest Bollywood star named "Hottest Woman of the Year" is a huge feather in the cap of any trainer. I was really proud of her and the amazing work we had accomplished thus far. But I also wanted everyone who was in some way inspired by Deepika's amazing body to know that as a trainer my goal is to help every client be the best version of themselves. When we are our best selves we can have healthy and positive relationships with ourselves and others. We feel joy and see the beauty in everything and everyone. This journey is not about having nice arms, abs etc but it is a journey that allows for our greatest transformation when we begin our work from the inside. It's is not just a physical transformation. To really have the body you desire, make self-love your priority. Let your actions, thoughts and emotions be lead with the most sacred love you can have for yourself. This is your true assignment. Treat your body with self-love and your workouts as an act of self-love. A positive intention will always have a positive outcome. And if you do so your world and life will open in ways in which you cannot even dream of. If today you don't have the body you want love it anyway. Treat it with respect and kindness. This is the foundation in which I train every client.

Spiritual Lesson: Be Willing to Let Go of Your Dreams

Joseph Campbell said it best with this famous quote:

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us"

This experience in my life has taught me that though I had my plans God definitely had a better one. Many of us including myself get fixated on our goals and dreams. And in some cases these may be limited in serving us. You can write down your goals and dreams or put them on your vision board but add to that the following:

"God please grant me this or something better.. Thank You,"

"I say yes to your greatest plan and your highest vision for me."

The universe always wants to gift you more then you could ever desire for yourself. So be willing to let go of your limited dreams.

Now that I'm back home in Toronto reflecting on the what's possibly the most adventurous year of my life, I can't help but wonder what the universe is conspiring for me next? Either way when the next door opens I am more than prepared to walk through.

Spiritual Lesson: Get curious!

I can't help but wonder what else is crazy possible? God has a plan for us all. And whatever that may be, I am willing to say yes to it all.

#IStandWithDeepika

2017-12-01T10:44:00.001-08:00

Training Deepika Padukone for "XXX The Return of Xander Cage"

Today is December 1, 2017 and what should've been the release of Padmavati. I'm quite baffled and saddened as to the reasons for it's delay. Right winged Indian fringe groups are only interested in serving their own agendas. They are seeking media attention and hijacking the popularity of Padmavati and Deepika Padukone for their own self serving purposes. Their intention is to spread fear and to terrorize innocent people. They've been told repeatedly that there is no such romantic dream sequence between Hindu Queen Padmavati and the protagonist Muslim ruler Allaudin Khilji. Their stance remains despite this clarification. This isn't new news. In 2000 they also called Deepa Mehta "anti Hindu" and burned the sets of the movie 'Water' without even reading the script proving then and now this is not about religion. Its about corruption and abuse of power. We see through your falseness. The light in the world is brighter then your darkness.

As a trainer I teach every client that every choice we make is rooted in either 'fear' or 'love.' And the consequence will always follow accordingly. Our reactions are just as important as our choices and their consequences are also dependent on whether we respond with 'fear' or 'love.' As a collective we must make our choices consciously. We must believe that our truths, our voice and how we express this can have a positive or a negative impact on our world. You can never have a positive outcome with a negative intention.

#IStandWithDeepika for her and all artists and for their right to express their creativity. For their right to choose to play characters they feel aligned with and for their own personal growth and journey. For their right to live their life purposely by creating artistry that the world loves to watch with pride, enjoyment and healthy escapement. Deepika Padukone, Deepa Metha and other artists never meant to be controversial but simply to be an artist and to create the best master pieces that their audiences would appreciate. They and others do not deserve hatred for doing their job.

Deepa Mehta & Lisa Ray "Water"

#IStandWithDeepika and with all women. These death threats are from misogynists. It is oppression and hatred toward women. It's abusive masculine energy that needs to be exposed and called out for being just that. I stand with all these women in solidarity and support. This fear based belief systems must end. We must all take a stance, use our voices and step into our power to end this and all hatred. Each and every one of us must rise up.

#IStandWithDeepika. I am proud of her courage, determination and for standing her ground as she states in the following quote:

“Well, at this point, as a woman, an artiste and a citizen of this country I feel angry, I feel let down and I also find it amusing. I will never feel scared. Fear is not an emotion I have ever identified with.”

Since training Deepika Padukone for "XXX The Return of Xander Cage" and "Padmavati" I have witnessed and supported her transformation physically, mentally and spiritually. Her voice and presence is empowering to all women. She's confident in her belief systems and a true trail blazer in creating change for the better. It is an honour and a blessing to help all my clients this way, especially my female clients.

The controversy surrounding Padmavati is here to teach us that when we choose 'fear' we become divided. And when we chose 'love' we become united. I know Deepika Padukone and everyone involved worked very hard on this film. Let's all give this movie and every person that made it the benefit of the doubt. There are many who have been waiting anxiously to see this movie including myself. It is my hope that the movie will be finally released for the enjoyment of all.

Prayer for Peace

2017-08-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

Dear God and the Angels we surrender to you all our fears, worries and and ask you to help us feel secure, safe, united, harmonious, peaceful and loved. Help us to detox all illusions that create separation and every thing that is dividing us from each other and from you. Please send us light wherever there is darkness and raise our vibrations to a place where all we know, experience and believe in is love and only love. Let the light you shine elevate us so we see our world that you have gifted us as beautiful, peaceful and a place where everyone may live as one. Let your light clear away all judgements so that we see only that which unites us in each other and in ourselves. We ask that all forms of hatred be transmuted. Dear God we know that every prayer is heard and every prayer is answered. We need your divine light and all your messengers to support us at this time. We, your light workers are leaning on you to aid us. Give us fortitude and amplify our abilities to be of service at this time. We surrender to you with faith and in knowing now more then ever that your love is the most powerful force in the universe. It is the universe. Let all else including false belief systems be lifted with grace and ease. Peace be with us. Peace be us. And so it is. Thank You. Angel Blessings to ALL.

Prayer for Orlando

2016-06-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

My sister called me today in a frantic tone. She was worried and frightened for my safety and for my life. I assured her I was ok though I was no where near Orlando. I can only imagine for the many family members who will never have the chance to hear or see their loved ones again. We ended the call with "I Love You" and today I am grateful for that call and for that moment. I cannot even imagine how the lives of the 50 family members has drastically changed. And though it's hard to express my feelings for this horrific incident I can only turn to what I know and that is prayer. I do believe in Love and I do believe that Love will always win. I also believe that prayer can elevate all fear. Please join me in this prayer. Thank you. Angel Blessings.
Dear God and the Angels,
I am calling on you all as at this moment I feel there is heaviness in the world and in my life. We need your support to lighten our load, take away the pain, create peace and harmony in our lives. All our lives. God only you know the greater plan. I trust that this process is here for us for our learning, growth and to also bring us closer to you. Help us to open our hearts and see everyone and everything with only love. Help us to make healthy choices that affect mankind in a positive way. We turn over all our problems, worries, grief and sorrow over to you. Please hold closely these 50 souls in your arms. Bathe them in comfort, harmony and eternal rest. Give their families extra angels to support them during this time of grief and heart ache. God we turn to your to elevate all fear in our world and we accept in our hearts and lives your Divine Love. We turn to you at this dark hour with hope that your light will shine so bright that all we can see, feel and know is your guidance, and your love.
And so it is.
Angel Blessings to ALL

Laundry With Mom

2016-05-29T19:18:00.004-07:00

Of all the chores I do on a weekly basis the laundry is most certainly my least favourite. It's the first of my list of chores I like to start with so I can simply get it out of the way on my weekends. Now that mom is getting older and slowing down I've been taking care of her washing as well as my own. Mom made me learn how to do the laundry from a very young age. It was part of my responsibilities growing up in a family of eight. When I went off to university I had to only worry about my own set of clothes. But now being at home and helping mom out I've once again resumed my household chores to include her clothes. After helping with the laundry for eight people doing it for two is a definitely a breeze.

Today as I started to fold her sheets mom looked from over the kitchen window and asked if she could help me? My response these days is "Don't worry mom I can do it" because I know folding clothes is challenging for her given her various ailments. Only today after pondering about it briefly I decided to say 'yes.' . So I waited patiently as she made her way over to me with her walker. As we started to fold the sheets together I realized I was saying 'yes' to more then just her help.

Mom is really slowing down these days. It seems like everything is an effort for her and I can see how frustrated she gets at times. Though I try and help her out I do wrestle with how much to help as I want her to feel she still has independence. I knew that I could easily have folded the sheets on my own. But by allowing her to help me I realize how much more I was doing for her. I saw this from her perspective. Perhaps she wanted to help me? Perhaps she wanted to feel like she can still contribute? Perhaps she wanted to feel needed? Perhaps this was a way in which she could still be a mom towards me?

But more so then that by doing this task together it created a space to feel connected to her. I was able to share a breath with her. It was an opportunity for us to share a moment. Though it was just folding laundry it was nonetheless a special moment. I embraced the whole experience and decided to be present for her and myself. What was once a mundane task turned into something far greater then I could have ever imagined. I felt gratitude for being given this chance to spend with mom. I realized I was saying 'yes' to the gift of the joy that mom was bringing into my life. Mom's 85 now and so every moment we have, each day, each breath is special to me. Even folding laundry with her is not something to be taken for granted but an opportunity to deepen our connection.

I'll never look at doing the laundry the same way again. In fact I'm already looking forward to next weekend for another chance to fold sheets again with mom.

Angel Blessings to ALL

How to Stay on the Path Towards Your Transformation During Difficult times

2016-02-08T14:03:00.001-08:00

Photograph date: February 8, 2016

The journey of any transformation is never an easy one. No matter what life throws at me I've managed to turn it all into the fuel I need to stay on the path towards my goals physically mentally and spiritually. Every wound, hurt, success and victory drives me. I've learned to take everything and and use it as fuel towards my workouts. The good and the bad. It feeds me to be better, strive consciously and invest it all into my well being so that I can be my best self. And what I know to be true is that when we are at our best selves all our relationships benefit and or improve.

Mom was recently hospitalized for eight days. I spent anywhere from six to ten hours by her side. This impacted my energy stores. Hospitals can be heavy and draining. Worrying about moms health placed a toll on me. My access to healthy meals were inconsistent but I still worked out. I did what every successful transformation requires and that is to "show up." You give what you can that day that moment but you "show up." There were days when I didn't want to workout but I did anyway. And I balanced this with taking the rest that I also needed. If I needed a nap I took it without feeling guilty. As rest and sleep are just as important for physical recovery. It also meant I honoured my body. There's a fine line between how hard you can push yourself and burning out. There is a price to pay one which I also know as I've been there.

Whilst spending many hours at the hospital I needed to manage my energy. As any empath knows hospitals can contain a lot of heavy energy that is quite draining. To stay balanced I used colouring and art therapy, journaling as well as meditation to help connect with my inner being and mind.

I went to the gym and stayed grounded in my body. Balancing my inner wellness allowed me to have enough energy to do my workouts and all of which helped to nourish my body.

There are many mandala colouring books for a mindful mediation experience

I know with absolute certainty today that your sense of connection with your inner being will always reflect how you look and feel on the outside. Always. This is why I created my path as a Spiritual Personal Trainer. My own journey, my testimonial, my life authentically reflects this. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and the more we align with our inner being or the more we lead a spirit centred life the easier we are guided to make healthy positive choices for ourselves. That force within will always help guide us. We just have to tap into it. Then taking care of our physical bodies will follow from the right intentions.

To Learn more visit www.farhandhalla.com/spt

Angel Blessings to ALL

2016 "The Year of My Voice"

2016-01-25T15:28:00.001-08:00

I've declared 2016 as the year of "My Voice." My intention is to create a field of energy potential that is empowering by using my voice to express myself in healthy ways. For so many years I felt like I couldn't express myself. My voice was shut off from abuse and being told to 'be quiet." I grew up feeling like what I said didn't matter. But now I've chosen to speak up! To say what matters to me because I matter. Little did I know the universe was orchestrating on my behalf to give me the platform to serve my intention.

Last summer I had reoccurring dreams that I was back on stage travelling and speaking at various fitness conventions. I had taken time away to regroup what I wanted to teach but also because of various family matters that required a lot of my energy and attention. I knew that I missed being on stage and longed to get back on the circuit of presenting. I missed the energy, instant validation and connection with a live audience. Something which social media lacks for me. Well one day after yet another dream I ran into the vice president of CanFitPro (The Canadian Fitness Professionals Association). Now I don't believe in coincidences and so I knew that literally a collision of a chance meeting at a local shopping mall was part of a greater plan. He asked what I had been up to? After briefing him on what has kept me away from presenting I said I was considering returning. He asked me to send him my session descriptions of what I'd like to present and well long story short I just got an email today that I'm on the schedule to speak at CanFitPro 2016 in Toronto!

So you might be thinking "well that's great but you have been presenting prior to that already so how why is this year about you're voice?" The answer is simple.

with Marla Ericksen

I'm finally in a place in my life where I am comfortable with talking about the things that matter to me in a way in which doesn't involve shame and fear of judgement. All the stages I've presented on in my past have prepared me for the ones I'm going to be on this year. And the universe is making it all happen. CanFitPro is only one of the many platforms I'll be using to express my truth and taking about what matters to me. And my new list of topics reflects this. So now I'm gearing up to speak and present topics that are closer to me. I'm very excited and looking forward to all that lies before me! How does it get better then this?

Angel Blessings

The Transformation of My Anger And Rage

2016-01-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

Growing up I was never allowed to express myself. I was shut down. Told to be quiet. I was bullied and abused and when I tried to express my feelings I was told to be a better person and not say anything. I was hurt frustrated, angry and then over the years it cultivated like I was over stalk piled with all these negative emotions. I became a volcano waiting to explode. Whenever the anger surfaced or wanted to be expressed I continued to suppress it. It was the only pattern of behaviour in which I knew how to deal with it. I called that being "non confrontational." Inside I knew I was walking time bomb. Only now it got to the point where there was no more space in body to store and keep the anger. I needed an outlet. A safe outlet. I need to let out how I was feeling. The hurt, the anger from all the abuse and bullying. I couldn't contain it anymore.

I was ashamed about how I felt. On the outside I was "Farhan who always keeps it together, so calm so centred." which is true. I am that person. But I'm also human and in need of expressing that part of me that weighs me so heavily. I was afraid of judgement. On the inside I was beginning to crumble. Not feeling like I had permission to express all the good, the bad and the ugly. But I'm just like everyone else. No better, no different.

I reached out to my dear friend Noreia Sacoor, a gifted healer, a soul sister and someone I knew could help me heal my wound. I also knew that this wound was not just mine, Collectively I was carrying it for everyone in the lineage of my family past, present and future. I needed to break that pattern, release the anger and heal it in all directions of time. A tough pre-birth contract I had agreed to. Noreia said my anger needed to be heard, it had a voice that was longing to be expressed. Without any coincidence I had already declared that 2016 is to be the year of my voice. To declare my personal power by using my voice to express and speak.

"I have the right to speak."

is my affirmation for this year. For everyone that took my voice away, that told me to be quiet and made me think that what I had to say didn't matter I reclaim my voice. I choose to own what is mine and use it as tool to speak my truth with transparency.

And so to ceremoniously release my rage, to unleash my anger to be free from the toxicity that has plagued me for so long I went to the "The Rage Cage" in Toronto and I broke, smashed and destroyed objects into dust leaving no trail behind and wanting every cell in my body to feel only the peace I long for. The peace I was born with and the peace that is my truest self.

To all my bullies, abusers and to the witness that saw and did nothing to defend me I simply say "thank you." I took every wound and turned them all into my treasures. I chose to see it as fuel to move ahead in life, strike after my dreams and manifest everything I chose for in my life and continue to do so. It never broke me. I know that the strength of my alignment with my true source and that is my only Source allows me to succeed at everything. In God I be today and in God I be always. I choose peace for myself. I pray there be peace for all.

Prayer for Peace for ALL: Please Read and share Thank YOU

2015-11-14T20:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Light workers please help to raise the vibrations of our planet by radiating our divine light where ever there may be any fear energy. Let our light be so bright that it leads to all things made of love, joy, peace and harmony. I send prayers today and every day that may we all see ourselves as one with each other. That our true selves will out shine any other illusion based in fear. I pray that our hearts be filled with so much love that each and every person in this world is able to see, feel and believe in it's existence. Let all our power be from God only. That it may be our only source of power now and always. Angel Blessings to ALL. ‪#‎PeaceToAll‬ ‪#‎OneLove‬

Ricky Martin #OneWorldTour "My Experience!"

2015-10-21T20:28:00.001-07:00

As I walked into Toronto's Air Canada's centre the anticipation of seeing Ricky Martin's show was heightening for me. This would be my sixth time seeing him perform live and my excitement was greater then ever. This concert was more special to me because I got to meet him prior to the show! A dream come true! Our exchange was beyond my imagination. It was magical and miraculous. An angel orb appeared in the photograph of us hugging. It couldn't have been more perfect. Ricky was kind, welcoming and really genuine. As always he had this incredible presence and a vibration of love and gratitude. He is on stage as he is off. My premium pass included attending the sound check and I got to stand in the pit directly centre stage during the show. How does it get better then this?

Ricky Martin is a powerful light worker. He has the capacity to facilitate the energy of an entire auditorium in an organic and symbiotic way. He channels and cultivates the energy of his fans so that it feeds him. He then turns around and builds this incredible energy field with infinite potential that radiates across the arena reaching everyone. It's a palpable energy that raises consciousness and creates tremendous shifts. It's a powerful experience to witness. And as with every Ricky Martin concert it left you wanting more.

An Angel Orb Appeared in this Photo When We Hugged

Ricky's One World Tour is a simpler stage set up then his previous concerts. There is also less theatrics and very little time between sets with quick outfit changes. Ricky made sure to give the audience what they came to see the most and that was him perform. Each of his concerts have left a different impression on me. I liked this particular tour because it gave us more of him. Ricky often teased us asking "Una mas? " to which the crowd responded with a roar each time. Even his opening message to us was simple:

"I want you to have fun. Forget about your problems. Forget all your issues at home, at work and your life. I want you to be free. I want you to be happy. Remember these words"

Ricky Martin also had important messages for his fans. He has used his platform as an artist to create awareness of issues that need our attention. His true mission is far greater then creating hit songs. His music continues to allow him to be of service to humanity including the formation of the Ricky Martin Foundation. A charity that helps rescue children from slavery and human trafficking. An interlude of visual images were displayed during the show of children that his foundation is helping. Today there are 27 million children world wide who are victims of exploitation. This crisis of the human spirit has created his greatest calling in addition to fatherhood. This was the most important message of the night. Ricky is asking each of us to help. Music has the power to create movement for the better. It can heal many things and even save lives. Knowing this he has authentically aligned artistry and humanitarianism.

The final image is of a little girl not more then three or four years old. The jumbo screen emphasized these beautiful piercing eyes. As I looked into them I couldn't help but wonder what was her story? What has she been through at such a young age? What does it mean for her to be free from exploitation and possibly slavery? I only hope that her future is now promising that no matter what she would live to know that there is a chance for a beautiful life filled with potential for her. This is my prayer for every child who has been exploited.

"Where words fail music speaks."

These are the words posted on Ricky's Twitter page. His mission is also to use music to unite people from all over the world. Ricky pointed out that there was representation from so many countries in all his shows. "This is beautiful to see" he said. He looked across from the stage to the many flags of the different countries people were representing. Music is a way that transcends all borders that separate us geographically. And in that moment we all experienced oneness consciousness. So often it takes a tragedy to unite us but at any time in our lives music can bring people together. Ricky is a true human being for bringing people from all over the world together to celebrate our oneness through the experience of pure joy.

The only part I didn't enjoy about this show was the fact that it had to end! So as he sang his finale "Cup of Life" I pulled out my gratitude crystal I had in my pocket. I held it in my hand and thought of everything I was grateful for on this night as a symbol and a reminder to keep the feelings and emotions I experienced with me forever. I'm so grateful to Ricky for creating a night that will always be special to me. The joy that I experienced was also felt by everyone I've talked to about his concert. When I posted my pictures on social media I was overwhelmed with an outpour of love and messages. My joy became everyone else's. You have to admit the smile on my face most certainly says it all!

The Ricky Martin Foundation "We advocate for the well being of children around the world in such areas as education, health and social justice by condemning human trafficking and creating awareness" To make a donation visit:

http://www.rickymartinfoundation.org/en/

Angel Blessings to ALL

You're Sunset is Someone Else's Sunrise

2015-09-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

My favourite part of the beach on a hot summer day is watching the sunset. I'll sit there and stare off into the distance watching the sun get smaller fading off into the horizon. I love the way a clear blue sky turns into a multitude of colours And then there is the period when the beach becomes still and calm as everyone stops what their doing to watch the beauty of the sunset. Though I've seen many sunsets over the years this particular September evening I had a bit of an aha moment. As I was lost staring into the sunset I realized something for the very first time. Everyone in the world has one sun. In that moment my experience was a sun set but for someone else on the other side of the world that sun was in fact rising. We may all be looking at the same sun but each of us are having our very own experiences.

As the week went on I couldn't help but think more deeper into my sunset experience. I realize how different a perspective people can have when looking at the same thing. And not just sunsets but with everything! Each of our perceptions are individual and personal. We can only relate to things from our perspective but from now on I'll always be open to the idea that someone could have a different one.

I was at a funeral this week for a close friends father. Having lost my own father recently I could relate to all the emotions my friend and her family were feeling. When I left the service I starred into the bright sun and it reminded me of the sunset I saw just a few days ago. It seemed like the loss of our fathers was an ending much like the sun set. But for our dads their lives were more like a 'sun rise' and their transition was really a new beginning.

The cyclical nature of the sun is very reassuring to always have faith and trust. No matter what is happening in your life, no matter how good or bad you can always count on another sunrise after every sunset. The sun will always come back. And like in life as one door closes a new one opens. Lastly there is a general flow in life. Everything including the sun is always in motion. There really are no real endings. Just transitions and transformations. Staying in the flow begins with feeling gratitude, accepting that change is a part of life and being present in the moment because the future is always uncertain. But despite uncertainties to know that everything is always in divine order.

All is and always will be well.

Angel Blessings To All

What Do You Need to Let Go In Order to Grow?

2015-09-09T12:23:00.003-07:00

I woke up Sunday morning excited about spending the day at the beach. There were only a few short weeks left of summer in Toronto and when I looked out the window I saw a clear blue sky and a very bright sun. As I opened our front door with all my beach necessities in hand I was greeted with the heat from the sun, thick humidity and all the scents of a hot summer day! When I got to the driveway I saw that the huge maple tree in front of our house had started to shed a ton of leaves. Our driveway and front lawn had the first dropping of what would be many more leaves to come. Though today was a perfect beach day I knew that fall was just around the corner. As I looked to the tops of the tree many of the leaves had started to loose their dark green colour. They were starting to turn red and orange. I still had today to get my beach groove on but I knew that summer time was near ending. I looked at the fallen leaves. It made me think of how tress are willing to let go and shed their leaves knowing that each spring it would bloom a whole new set. As I drove off to the beach I couldn't help but wonder what lessons our tree was offering me?

Fallen leaves are a lesson from the universe about surrendering and letting go. Trees have immense faith. They let go of their leaves knowing that new ones will blossom in the spring time as the tree goes through expansion and growth. We too are always growing and evolving. For us to grow we sometimes have to let go of what no longer serves us. That includes things we've outgrown, negative belief systems and old patterns. All of this shows up in our lives as a story that we have chosen to tell. It's a story we've created and choose to hold onto. Our old stories keep us from growing. They make us feel stuck. And prevent us from allowing our truest self to be expressed. Our story is just that. A story. To let go of our leaves we need to simply be willing to tell a new story. Our old leaves occupy space in our lives that block new energy that comes with growth. It's often a conditioned limiting belief.

Examples of limiting stories include:

I'm not good enough
I don't know what I want
I'm a victim
I'm not strong enough
I can't
This isn't the right time
I'm scared
I'm not worthy
I'm not loveable
I'm a failure
I'm not good at anything
.......Etc.

The story I've chosen to let go is "I am a victim. I am powerless" Victimization consciousness made me feel weak. It created feelings of separation, isolation and loneliness. Victimization is pure and simply negative and negativity can only attract negativity. To release this I chose to align myself with empowerment consciousness. I declared the divine in me as my true source. I decided to see that same source in everything and everyone. I authentically declared that source to be God and where all my power comes from. My affirmation and prayer I recite each day as I awaken is:

"In the affinity of Life of where I am all is perfect whole and complete. I am one with the very power that created me and that power has given me the power to create my own circumstances." from the book "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay

This is my new story. It has shifted me from feeling powerless to powerful. A higher vibration then the one I was feeling. I let go of the story. I let go of my leaves. By telling a new story I've chosen to create a new reality that is reflective of my soul's growth. My old story wasn't serving me. It was an illusion. Making the choice to let it go empowered me.

What story are you holding onto that is not serving you? Perhaps letting go and surrendering will blossom your life with a new story, belief system and outlook. Be willing to let go and know with faith that a new story awaits to be told. Are you ready to embrace and tell a new story?

Angel Blessings to ALL

Don't Let Fear Interfere With Your Dreams

2015-08-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

On the Set of "In Shape With Sharon Mann"

Every dream I ever reached for scared me! What if I failed? What if I succeeded? What if I wasn't good enough? What if What if what if....." I've learned to accept that fear is apart of the achievement process. No goals or dreams were ever achieved without the accompaniment of fear. Fear is a funny emotion. It's one that can paralyze you. It can stop you dead in your tracks. But if you chose it can also propel you forward. You can use it like fuel and let it drive you towards your dreams. In every one of my achievements fear didn't win. I simply have learned how to manage it. In fact I've now come to believe that if something doesn't scare me I probably don't want it that badly.

Do you remember the last time you did something that really scared you? How the fear was so unbearable? You

Reebok Resolution Conference Toronto, Canada

became stressed and couldn't sleep. How your heart raced and the adrenaline was so high you could barely think straight? Fear makes us, uncomfortable ,drains us, causes fatigue, has a negative impact on our bodies, relationship with ourselves and friends and loved ones. It is constricting and suffocating. Most of our fears are really about a future event that hasn't happened yet. Fears represent a mere few negative possibilities of the future. But there are also an infinite assortment of positive possibilities. You could succeed. And perhaps that that success will open up doors in ways you couldn't have even imagined. You may never be able to rid yourself of fear. So why not use it to move you toward your goals and dreams? It can only defeat you if you decide to do nothing about it.

Toronto, Canada

Fear can be managed or controlled like the volume button of your IPOD. Maybe all you need to do is simply turn down the volume button of fear like the sound on your IPOD'. Let it play softly in the backgrounds as you strive forward for your dreams. Treat fear like a passenger in the seat of your car and not the driver. Let it come along for the ride and never let it take control of the steering wheel.

Fear is like validation that you are doing what you need to do for your personal growth. There is a great sense of accomplishment when you achieve a goal despite how much it scared you. So make fear your friend. Have a better relationship with it as it's going to accompany you many times in your life.

Regina, Canada

My first public speaking experience was for a class assignment in front of my Grade six class in

Toronto, Canada

elementary school. This is the first memory I have ever being scared to get up in front of a group of people. But I did it. In fact I went on to win the public speaking contest in my whole school. At eighteen I was asked to teach a low impact aerobics class at the North York YMCA as part of my summer job. I had to speak and lead the group at the same time! But I did it. While a student at McMaster University I had to make many presentations as part of my physiotherapy training in front of my peers and professors. The pressure was great but I did it! My first job after graduation was in Pakistan and I led workshops in fitness at a local community centre. This time the group I stood in front of didn't speak English. A new challenge with a twist. But I did it. Shortly after I presented at Canada's largest fitness conference "CanFitPro." Now I was speaking amongst the best fitness professionals in the world. But I did it. From there I went on too speak at conferences all over the world. If I let fear in my grade six class or at any point defeat me it would have shut the door to all the incredible opportunities that came thereafter. This pathway that started at the age of twelve awakened many of my dreams including becoming a Canadian Reebok Master Trainer as well a spot on the hit show "In Shape With Sharon Mann."

Melbourne, Australia

Each stage I stood on created a doorway to greater opportunities. This contributed to my growth because I had to step out of my comfort zone. I never would've imagined that that winning a public speaking contest at a very early age would've led me to where I am today. Was I scared? Absolutely? But when I look back if it wasn't for the fear I wouldn't have made it to where I am today. Getting up on that first stage was the universes's way of opening up that first door. And because I chose to walk through, it it led to all the other doors that were waiting for me on the other side! My dream was born and it took on a life that I never would've imagined. Though fear came along for the ride at every step I was able to manage it in a way that kept me moving forward and not stuck.

What are you dreaming of in this moment? What is it that you really and truly desire? Does the idea of going for your dream(s) scare you? If your answer is yes then GO FOR IT! See the possibility that your dream has the potential to be something greater then you could ever imagine. Be willing to take that first step. It may seem like it's huge at first but the infinite positive possibilities are just on the other side of the first door you have to walk through.

Johannesburg South Africa

I have many more dreams to reach for. Am I scared? The answer yes! But will it be worth it? Absolutely!

Angel Dreams To ALL

Messages from the Angels: You Are Most Powerful

2015-08-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Loved ones. We remind you today that indeed you are most powerful. You have been given the direct light and power of God that lies within you to take every thought and intention and turn them into tangible manifestations. Begin by choosing your thoughts and intentions well. Each is a form of prayer and every prayer is heard by your creator. This time on earth where time and evolution are speeding at faster rates then before. The speed at which the power to manifest proves more powerful when you are fully aligned with your desires and synching into the light with complete trust, faith and belief. Pay very close attention as we guide you with repetitive thoughts and feelings that are inspiring, uplifting and loving. Our words will always only be as such. Trust that this guidance is divine in origin. We are working closely with you always. Your guardian angels are well by your side supporting your every journey. We ask that you make your lives lighter by taking time to enjoy, play and nurture your inner child. Your journey towards your manifested desires need not be so stressful. Your life on earth need not be taken so seriously. Your creator is most joyous to see you in play and fun. These emotions are then aligned with high vibrations that will liberate you of all worry making your guidance more easily received. So dear ones have some fun! Take time for you as self love is the gateway to all love and those with an open and receptive heart will be easiest to receive their manifested desires. We love you always. All is well and always will be well. Angel Blessings

Messages from the Angels: We Are Here to Help You Feel Safe

2015-07-28T19:22:00.002-07:00

Dear loved ones. We do feel your concerns about your health and well being on your planet. There are concerns on many levels and the primary of which is a sense of insecurity in your lives. You're angels assure you that this is part of your experience on earth for growth. Much growth can only occur when you leave your comfort zones. Moving into unknown territory is your souls desire for expansion. Yet your EGO keeps you gripping to all that is familiar. We Angels are here to support you in all forms of growth and transitions. Know that your fear, though a normal experience may be all handled by us. We do realize you need to feel safe but there is no place to be safer then in the hands of your trusted Angels. God has given you many resources to turn to during all your difficult times. Earth is like a school and as you succeed it is similar to the passing of your grading system. Remember your sense of nervousness on your first day of school of each new grade. It came with excited nervousness but as you entered your classroom there stood your teacher to welcome you. Your guardian angel is much like that very teacher. We offer you comfort. We offer you ease. We offer you complete safety. So go now and take that step you've so been longing for. This period of energy is highly supportive. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and emotions as we use these aspects of all your senses in the form of trustworthy guidance. Propelling forward is as much as having trust and faith in your divine helpers. Know that all is well and always will be well.
Angel Blessings to ALL.

Messages from the Angels: Choose Happiness Now

2015-04-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Loved Ones: Many of you at this time are going through significant life changes. During this transition do not the energy of conflict and obstacles distort you from the truth that happiness is in your future. In fact you are a co-creator to your life. You have been given the free will choose how you feel at any given point of time in your earthly lives. Positive thoughts will create a positive outcome. Negative thoughts will create a false sense of separation between yourself and the Divine. You are continuously connected as child who's umbilical chord is connected to it's mother. This chord, that connects you to the Divine is eternal and supports you with all your supply. Chose to remember this and you will flow through your apparent obstacles. Fear will only weaken you. Your emphasis of where you place your thoughts and feelings will ground you and help you to steer your emotions away from all that keeps you off the path of happiness. Be happy now. Do not think that if and when you get what it is that you want that you will find happiness. It is at every moment of time in your earth lives to chose, feel, express and vibrate happiness. That is your divine right. Remember always you have us THE ANGELS Gods helpers and direct light extensions of God to service and help you. Simply ask for our assistance and then with absolute trust and faith know that we will cary you through all of your worldly problems. Now and always. Angel Blessings to ALL

Messages from the Angels: These May be Times of Choas

2015-03-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

Dear loved ones. Though this seems like a period of chaos and instability recognize with faith that all is being orchestrated for your highest good. This is a time to not allow yourself to be carried away by the turbulence but to take charge of your life in positive ways. See that there is a lighter future but in the mean time turn toward prayers and affirmations. This is the time to seek deeper spiritual meaning and know that there are important lessons for your growth unfolding. Ask "What am I to learn from this situation?" "How will I become a better person?" You're spirit seeks to expand. This requires swimming into the deeper and unknown waters which you are not used to. Expansion and growth requires feeling uncomfortable. Allow this discomfort as reassurance and not fear that you are on your path. When in doubt turn over any fears and doubts over to us. Everything is how it needs to be right now. Look past the illusions and see that all is in perfect divine order. Angel Blessings to ALL

Messages from the Angels: This is a Time of Transition

2015-02-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

Dear loved ones many of you are in transition at this time or wanting to create new movement in your life. Whether it's your career or relationships this period is a time for personal growth and development. Yes the changes you are feeling are real. There is a planetary shift that you are all experiencing. Thus this change is not just at a personal level but effecting the planet globally. Transitions and or the desire for transition means that there are aspects of your lives in which doors must close. Space must be created for the new. Know that all is well at this time. It is part of the process and we understand the discomfort. Rest assured that by entrusting in us your fears about change will result in smoother change. Let passion be your guide. Allow passion to move you towards your desires. Allow trust and faith to be the wings that carry you and passion be the driving force to move you forward. If you are feeling passion then know with certainty that it is the voice of your soul speaking to you to follow through with your desires. On the planetary level these shifts are being orchestrated to maintain balance and to create a new equilibrium as new energies and vibrations are being sent for your homes evolution. As the planet starts to shift into higher vibrations you too must synchronize your energies. Know that with certainty all is occurring for the greater good of all. You're only work is to listen to the voice of your soul. Pay attention to its nudges and urges. Take action upon inspiration. Notice the signs from us, your Angels. We are supporting you now and always. Angel Blessings for All

Messages from the Angels: Learn to Receive Before You Learn to Ask

2015-01-18T17:38:00.000-08:00

Dear loved ones: Open up your arms and heart and be fully receptive to all the gifts God and the angels have to offer you. It is imperative that you learn to receive before you can learn to ask. All your prayers are heard and being answered but will fall to the way side if you yourself are not open and receptive to all that you are asking for. Your frustrations continue when you chose to declare yourself unworthy, undeserving and a low priority to God. Your troubles can be easily put behind you. Declare your self worth. As you do this you declare that you are just as important as any and all of God's children. That is not selfish. That is an act of self love. All love is yours when you demonstrate self love. Pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings and the subtle voice in your head. These are how our messages are passed on to you. They will always feel uplifting, positive and supportive. Guidance does not come with any type of fear. Guidance will easily come to those who believe and expect it. Angel Blessings to ALL.

Has God Abandoned My Father?

2015-01-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

My family and I had to move My Father into a nursing home. This was his biggest fear as well ours. It was the last thing we wanted to do but we had no choice. Given his physical and mental decline in health we were faced with no alternative. Of course we all want what's best for him but then we were also feeling some sort of guilt as we knew this was not what any of us wanted. As we walked through the hallways I saw the residents with various forms physical and mental morbidities I was feeling waves of a variety of emotions. It wasn't my first time in a nursing home. My grand mother was in one for years. However, this time I felt a deep sense of heaviness. I kept my thoughts focused on the fact that we were doing what was best for dad. But I couldn't help but wonder for a moment if God had abandoned dad as well as all these people?

I went into my usual introspective self to evaluate how I was feeling. I hoped to shine light on my dark thoughts to get a better perspective on what was really happening. This was a moment where I had to examine and choose the belief systems that keep me connected to my inner being and the path to God. I reminded myself of the quote from Oprah Winfrey which I mentioned in my previous post titled The Truth About How I Am Doing. "What you think in life is happening to you is really happening for you." And as I contemplate this quote a lot deeper for me it breaks it down like this, we have one of two choices in which path to live our lives. We can either decide to be a victim and choose the path of 'victimization consciousness.' Or we can choose God, the path of 'personal empowerment.'

What's the difference?

The Victim

Choses to see the world as a place where there are negative events happening TO them
Blame others for what's wrong in their own lives
Often seek revenge on others
Stay stuck in their 'story' and wants everyone to hear their 'story'
Draining to be around
Feels stuck in their lives and unable to move forward
Often feels and complains of being abandoned
Feel helpless and sorry for themselves. "Why me?"
Thinks that personal power is something that you give or take away to get what you want
Chooses Fear

The Empowered

Choses to see the world as a place where everything is happening FOR them
Aligns themselves with the power of God and knows that that is their true source of power
Take responsibility for their actions and lives
Look for the meaning and what they can learn from every situation and person
Uplifting to be around
Knows that God has given them tools to overcome every challenge and obstacle
Never feels alone and believes in the presence of the existence of the divine within
Never complains
Utilizes their personal power with love always
Chooses love

The path of personal empowerment is the path of love. It is the path to God. Its living life knowing that everything is happening for a reason and is perfectly in divine order. Its knowing that there is always a lesson attached to each situation for our soul. And that every person and the circumstance are all perfectly created for our souls growth. Our job is not to judge. Not to blame. Not to make excuses but to learn our lessons. By seeking to learn we are operating from a higher level of consciousness. Those that chose to look to blame will only cause self inflicted suffering. This lower level of consciousness will keep a person trapped in a viscous karmic cycle where lessons are repeated painfully over and over again. Evolution and growth for the victim is not possible until they choose the path of empowerment. How you respond to every situation is a choice and the outcome will be depended on whether you choose love or fear.

If you are buying into abandonment consciousness then you believe that God put us on this planet and left us alone till we die. It doesn't make sense to me that God would leave his own children without tools, resources, teachers and his own supervision till their death. The victim chooses to see that there is separation between them and God and between them and everyone else. The empowered believes in unity consciousness. That we are all one and the divinity of God is within everything and everyone.

The victim asks the question "why me?" The empowered says "Thank you." The victim says "I got screwed over again." The empowered says "What do I need to learn from this situation? And no matter what happens I know I will be a better person because of it."

Is God trying to teach me something?

When I sat down to internalize what was happening to my dad and all those people in the nursing home I realized that every soul is getting exactly what they need. By choosing to see them as suffering then I am only bringing fear energy to them and myself. We all have our journey to live and with that comes our own contracts and lessons to learn. To align myself with the true source of my power I can only surrender all and leave it in the hands of our master. I can also choose to pray to lessen their burdens and ask for grace for every person.

The only way to truly shift from the 'victim' to the 'empowered' is to surrender. I remember one time I lost my driver's license. I looked and looked everywhere for it. I of course knew that everything happens for a reason and so when I sat with it and prayed the message I received from my angels was "to stop trying to do everything on my own and let God and the Angels take over" I had all this divine help except I thought I had to do it alone. I went and got a new license as the old one no longer served me. By losing that license I also let go of an old belief system that "I was alone." From then on I chose to surrender and recognize I am always supported. My new license reflected my new identity.

When we pray and ask for help it's up to us to then open our arms and hearts and be willing to receive Gods help. Victimized pray and then block themselves from receiving help. They don't think their prayers are being heard. They think God is too busy helping others or that they aren't worthy of his help. Those that are in alignment with Gods grace and power pray and are willing to receive the help they are asking for knowing that their prayers are always answered. They don't worry about the 'how's.' Its like when you place an order in a restaurant you don't go into the kitchen and show the chef how to make your dish. Once your order is placed you leave in the trusting hand of the waiter and chef to bring your food to you. Prayers work to same way. Once we ask we surrender and leave the task in God's hands.

And finally there is a gift, treasure or lesson in every situation. But if we are not looking for it chances are we will miss it. The gifts and treasures will always liberate you. It will leave you feeling expanded, light and transformed. I believe that there are many gifts in this whole situation with moving dad into a nursing home. For one thing, it has brought me closer to many people. It has helped me appreciate my parents a lot more. In fact I feel each day with a greater sense of gratitude. I'm more grateful for my own health. I've also realized how important it is for me to feel and experience connection with others. And I am sure that many more gifts will be revealed in time.

What I've learned is I cannot chose how to feel for my dad or the residents in the nursing home but I can decide how to feel for myself as we all have free will. In fact in every moment and in every situation we will always be faced with a choice. It is always up to us to decide whether we will choose the path of the victim or the path of the empowered. There are no other options. It's one or the other.

If you think victimized thoughts you will experience it's consequences. If you think empowering thoughts you will experience it's consequences. If you're not sure where to start on creating an empowered life start with empowering thoughts. Here are some affirmations you can use to stay empowered and release all the negativity associated with victimization consciousness.

My power is Mine and I use it in loving ways

I align myself with the power of God because that is the only true source of my power

All praise is due to Allah

How we chose to view our lives and the vibration we hold is always impacting us and all those around us. In that moment when I was walking down the corridor of my dads nursing home I was faced with a choice. That choice would impact me, my dad, my family and everyone in the nursing home. Our choices can create positive or negative emotions, experiences and relationships. By embracing the presence of the divine and affirming our personal power can only lead to complete evolution and transformation. The impact of that is limitless. And the power to chose lies within our selves. Always.

Angel Blessings to ALL

Today for my Birthday I Chose Not Make Wishes. I Will Only Say "Thank You!"

2015-01-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning a 44 year old man and contemplated while laying in bed how I wanted to spend my day. As part of my ritual each morning I start with a prayer for gratitude and this particular day as I went on to list all the things I was grateful for it struck me. Why not dedicate my whole day to feeling gratitude? I decided to do all the things that I love but also the things that I was grateful for. I would focus on creating day all around feeling gratitude. I would make no wishes this year. I would only say "Thank You." Excited and eager I jumped out of my bed and began my day.

My First Birthday

I am grateful for many things. I am grateful for God and the Angels, for their unconditional love, guidance and support, for breathe, for life, for each day, for the love that surrounds and fills me, for my health and body, for my parents and all they have done for me, for my friends, and for so much more. But I thought I would highlight some of the events of today and how they enriched the feeling of gratitude.

I am grateful for having food and how it nourishes my body with nutrients. I made a chocolate protein omelet, sliced red peppers and steel cut oatmeal for a power house breakfast to fill me and give me energy for the day ahead.

Next stop Starbucks! I am grateful for Starbucks for giving me my free birthday drink! A ginger bread latte! Definitely a treat for special occasions like my birthday!

I am grateful for my body and for all the wonderful things it does for me and allows me to do! So my next stop was the gym. Working out for me is about self care. My motivation is self love as opposed to guild and punishment. By doing so I am showing my body that I care about myself. Today I choose to celebrate the 44 years I have had this body. I will continue to treat it with respect, kindness and appreciation by exercising regularly.

I am grateful for my mom for the special woman that she is. Today we went for a birthday lunch just the two of us. I"m grateful I got to spend time with her and share a moment I'll always remember. I decided to interview her and ask her questions about me. Here's what she had to say!

Here are some special moments of our time together!

I am grateful for my dad. And although he's in a nursing home at this time I got to interview him as well. I also asked him questions about me and here's what dad had to say!

I am grateful for friends and the opportunity to experience connection. Spontaneously I met up with my friend Ambreen today who's in town visiting. We've been friends since we were kids and though we live in different countries we were blessed with a moment today to come together and connect. Friends are important and nothing beats quality time in which you can share your lives with each other. Ambreen surprised me by getting the whole coffee shop to sing happy birthday to me! Another moment and another gift I'll always treasure that made my 44th birthday extra special. Gratitude created more moments of gratitude!

Reunited and it feels so good!

So today instead of making wishes when I blew my candle I decided to just say "Thank You!"

I believe the one thing that can shift any situation in our lives is gratitude. Gratitude allows us to look at our lives with fulfillment. We see everything from an abundance consciousness versus lack. It allows us to focus on what we have as opposed to what we don't have. When we feel gratitude we open our hearts to receive. Gratitude creates feelings of joy. When we feel joy everyone and every aspect of our lives benefits even those we don't know. A lady came up to our table and said she had been quite touched as she watched my mom and I celebrate my birthday. She wished me happy birthday and said she was so moved she had to come over and say hello to us. Joy is contagious. When you feel it others do too!

And finally I am grateful for my guardian angel. I know with certainty that in my life I have been carried lifted and supported through every moment. I do believe that my guardian angel has two very big wings. One is named 'trust' and the other is named 'faith.'

What are you grateful today in this moment? Can you carry that feeling throughout your day every day? Imagine what your life would be like if you always felt gratitude.

Gratitude made my birthday special. It gave me gifts as moment's I'll always treasure.

To everyone who's path I've crossed, to all my friends and family and to anyone reading the pages of this blog I say to you "Thank you."

Angel Blessings to ALL