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2026-02-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

In order for me to write this article, I’d like to first, share a little of my history: I grew up in Baltimore, the daughter of baalei teshuva parents, immersed in the Litvish Yeshiva/Bais Yaakov system from as far back as I can remember. My foundational belief system was built within the post-Holocaust yeshivish mindset that permeated the 1970s and 80s.

Now, I know not everyone reading this will fully understand what that means, so let me briefly describe the culture—without infusing too much of the personal bias I’ve carried throughout the years, including the 26 years I lived and raised my family in Lakewood, NJ, one of the world’s greatest centers of Torah study.

The yeshivish world emphasizes a deep reverence for tradition, centering around a tight-knit system of Bais Yaakov schools for girls and yeshivas for boys. It’s a culture rooted in Torah learning, modesty, and a strong sense of communal identity. Many of the rules are unspoken but deeply felt with a do-or-die passion that everyone must toe the line. Deviation feels dangerous, and questioning is often frowned upon. There’s beauty in the structure, but there can also be a heaviness, often laced with shame—especially for those who struggle with the chumrahs (stringencies) and restrictions, or have experienced rejection from schools or other groups. The entire lifestyle is internalized to the point that deviation—whether by a spouse, a child, or even within ourselves—can feel like existential failure. For kids who don’t quite fit the mold, forging their own path can feel like heresy—even when it’s just coming from honest curiosity or exploration, or later, from escaping their own pain of judgment and rejection.

Just to be clear, this isn’t a “bash the community” piece. This is about clarity and growth. I’m sharing what I’ve learned from my own, often unnecessarily painful journey in the hope that it sparks some healing, perspective, and maybe even change—especially for those navigating challenging family dynamics within the Orthodox world. I think it’s time to share and shed light on some new ideas on how we can view our increasingly more diverse families in a way that is far more beneficial for our kids and ourselves as parents.

With that being said, one can start to imagine the intense pressure, as a parent to make sure their kids are well accepted within the cultural norms of these communities. But it goes deeper than acceptance…it’s where the shame creeps in, and It’s this shame and suffering that I want to address the most.

On the energetic frequency scale, shame sits right at the bottom—it’s the lowest vibration emotion we can feel, even lower than guilt or fear. It’s the internalized sense that something is fundamentally wrong or bad about us, and that’s what makes it so painful—it disconnects us from our worth, our voice, and our sense of belonging. And make no mistake—shame doesn’t purify, it paralyzes and keeps us from stepping into who we really are. It questions or entire existence and destroys any sense of worthiness we may have. It makes us feel teeny and insignificant, so much so that we’d prefer to disappear and become invisible, or G-d forbid not exist at all. As far as I’m concerned, there should be no system, especially a supposedly holy and spiritually elevated one, that should ever use shame as a tool for enforcing its dogma on society.

And I use the word ‘Dogma’ because I believe that a lot of the social norms of these cultures have, in some instances, moved far away from what Hashem and His beautiful, complex, mystical, deep, and ever flowing Torah intended for us. Although dogma can provide structure and identity, when held too rigidly, it can stifle personal growth, curiosity, and individual thinking—especially when people are discouraged from questioning or exploring beyond the rules.

We are meant to be a widely diverse people, each with our own beautiful talents, strength, weaknesses, challenges, and purpose. There is not only one way to interpret the Torah as it is layered and nuanced and personal to each and every Jew. There is no perfect person, nor should there be any elitist system. We should not be determining who is more “frum” or less, or not at all. No Jew is less important than another, as loving one another as ourselves, and being united as one are some of the most foundational tenets of the Torah. If an action or attitude is the exact antithesis of a powerful Torah tenet, yet it’s fully accepted into the culture to the point that everyone’s afraid to question or stand up against it, we know we’ve gone too far.

And that’s where these wonderful, beautiful children-the ones who we may call the rebels- who ask questions, and go against the narratives that intrinsically feel wrong, come in to play. Did you ever think that their seemingly rebellious behavior and actions may actually be part of Hashem’s master plan of bringing souls into the world to actually be able to see beyond the cultural surface, and correct what has been wrongly embedded deep within, via fear based actions and reactions from years and years of persecution and loss? Maybe these special souls accepted their roles in helping us move back to a more loving, accepting, and uplifting lifestyle that we are meant to live as Orthodox Jews, especially during these healing Messianic times. And like all processes in life, it is only through their mistreatment or hardships that these changes can they be materialized.

Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson has addressed this topic with profound insight and compassion. In his talk titled "It's the Children Who Challenge Us Who Teach Us What Judaism Is," he emphasizes that these children are not to be seen as failures or outsiders, but rather as individuals who can teach us valuable lessons about our faith and community. He suggests that their struggles can highlight areas where the community may need to grow or change, urging a response rooted in love and understanding rather than judgment. You can watch his talks that relate to this topic HERE and HERE.

Avi Fishoff, the founder of Twisted Parenting, emphasizes the importance of unconditional love and acceptance for children who have left the Orthodox Jewish path. He advocates for a compassionate approach, viewing these children not as rebels but as individuals in pain who need support and understanding. Fishoff believes that by embracing these children with warmth and without judgment, parents can create a healing environment that fosters reconnection and growth. His methodology is grounded in Daas Torah and has received endorsements from leading rabbinic authorities, underscoring its alignment with traditional Jewish values. For more insights into Avi Fishoff's approach and teachings, you can explore his YouTube channel HERE.

Moving out of Lakewood (through a series of misfortunes-which of course ended up being total blessings) and living in more diverse communities, was a real wake-up call. After the culture shock wore off, I realized what a breath of fresh air it was to finally feel comfortable in my own skin, in communities that included a much wider range of observance levels and the freedom to be your own individual self in your service to Hashem.

After attending Avi Fishoff’s support groups for several months, our entire family dynamic changed for the better and I was able to see the beauty in the unfolding diversity within my own family. It was only through the healing of my own shame, that I realized how deeply it had affected my own children. Because kids…they feel and absorb everything! When we can finally just accept, and even celebrate ourselves and all of our family members for who they are, we not only heal their suffering, but we also heal our own.

At one point, I decided to have a necklace custom made with 5 diamond stars to remind me how blessed I am to have brought 5 unique and wonderful shining stars into this world. And no one could ever take that perspective away from me. I have been wearing this necklace every single day since then.

I believe it’s time to shed our shame and pain and step into our unique power and calling. For the kids reading this: I hope you know how special and necessary you are to the colorful fabric of our people. You are being called to stand out and make a difference! And for the parents reading this: It’s time to take back our own power from the need to “fit in” or be judged positively by people who are probably not even thinking about you-because they are in their own unseen struggles. Let’s return to the original source of everything we hold to be true and good: Our connection with Hashem and the actual words within the Torah. We need to ask ourselves the basic foundational questions that appear once we shed our egos: How do we think Hashem want’s us to behave toward the souls He entrusted with us? If Hashem created us imperfect and is the one that arranged for our specific challenges, what do we think He’s actually asking of us?

I believe Hashem wants us to love fully, think for ourselves, and stop measuring worthiness by conformity. Each child is a divine spark. They are here, in this generation, to shake us awake, to challenge what’s broken, and to light the path back to a more compassionate, authentic Judaism. Our challenges should teach us to respect each individual’s personal journey by shining our own light as loving, accepting role models, as we are all on the same team, yet meant to be our own unique selves, diverse and united, within it.

And that’s something we can all feel good about!

Practical questions answered:

I don’t really care what people think, but I’m still in so much pain about my kids not following in our ways. How do I deal with it without them feeling my pain and disappointment?

Somewhere along the way you were taught that the only way to be a frum a jew was to live a very specific lifestyle. You were told that it’s the most tragic thing when someone leaves the fold. This belief system is embedded deep inside you. But if you take a step back, and start to look around at the many diverse types of communities and customs within the Jewish world, you will realize that there is not only one way, and that it is in fact not tragic when individuals are searching for a different lifestyle because the current one doesn’t suit them. Different doesn’t me tragic, but the path to get there may be a bit rocky and we as parents need to support and be there for our kids while they’re traveling the road, even if it looks like they’re going the wrong way. Sometimes a person needs to go all the way down to come back up. And even when they do, it may not be the place you wished for them. And that’s ok.

So why do they do such horrific, embarrassing and often self-destructive things if they’re here to show us where we need to change and how to behave?

Because as children, they are not even aware of this soul purpose…of course theyr’re not! They are doing whatever they can to survive a system that has made them feel worthless, and trying to forge an independent sense of self that’s as far away from what rejected and hurt them in the first place. It’s our awareness of their pain being the driving force of these behaviors that will effect the change that is necessary! As parents, if we advocate for our children and create a safe and loving environment where they can build a healthy sense of self, even if it’s different than others, then we become the role models that others will want to follow…and a healing haven for our children.

I do try so hard to accept and love my kids unconditionally but they still don’t trust me or accept my efforts to help them.

Kids will feel their parents’ energy at their deepest core. They will know intrinsically if you are not authentically accepting of who they are. As parents we must really go deep and do the work of letting go of our own egos and expectations. In a way we must mourn a loss of how we expected things to turn out…at least temporarily. We must actively do exercises in looking for and seeing the positives and good within your children and keep your focus there as much as possible. If you’re in public and shame creeps in, give your kid a big hug out of the blue. That action will kill the shame because you will be showing the world THE CORRECT way to be with your kids.

So you’re saying it should just be a free for all? There should be no rules, boundaries, or discipline at all?

Absolutely not. Part of being a loving supportive parent is setting boundaries. But it should always be about safety first, and ‘religious’ things last. As a parent you will recognize what works with your child and what his or her triggers are. Pick your battles carefully. The most important thing is to not add more shame to their already low sense of self, especially around religious restrictions. At a certain age they will do what they want and dress how they want regardless of what you say or do, so you may as well maintain your relationships with them so they don’t have to sneak behind your back. That’s where the danger really lies. If they feel safe with you you can guide them gently especially with things regarding their safety and well-being. When it comes to the things that really don’t matter (like a boy wanting to wear jeans or a girl not wanting to wear socks, simply say, “I trust you to make these choices for yourself.” Even if it means they will “get in trouble” at school. Because clearly that school is not the right fit for them.

I just don’t get it. When I was a kid we knew better. The rules were the rules. We would never disrespect our parents like this!

You are correct, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s a totally different world, and a much different time. We are clearly coming close to the end of the way things were and entering into the new age of Moshiach consciousness. Lot’s of things seems to be breaking down, changing and getting shook to the core…including our little culture bubbles. This is not by accident, and like I mentioned above, I truly believe that we as the parents, and our kids who are going through their own difficult experiences, are the special souls being brought down to do the hard work to shake things up, break things down, and rebuild with light, love, unity, and acceptance.

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I hope this article helped! Feel free to leave a comment below or email me at sharon@langertgroup.com with any comments, questions, or coaching inquiries and make sure to follow me @sharonlangertlifestyle on Instagram for lots of educational, fun, supportive and helpful content!

2025-05-27T08:44:00.007-04:00

Welcome! I'm going to be posting some of my favorite articles from previous issues of Glimmer Magazine, here on the blog. Here is the original article that inspired the magazine and can be found in the premier first issue. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a comment with your thoughts!

*This is a screenshot of the magazine article, read full article below*

Part I The Question

When I was younger, I never thought about life after 50. It’s really bizarre.

Nor had I ever even noticed the demographic of women in their 50’s as being a vibrant, integral part of society, at least from my perspective. Besides for a random grandmother or office worker, these women didn’t seem to be around very much. I mean, it makes sense to a certain degree because of what’s called confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is when whatever we think about or focus on, our brain will automatically seek out to “confirm” our beliefs within the environment around us. This is why what we actively think about and seek out is so, so important. For example, if we constantly think of ourselves as victims of our circumstances, our mind will always find proof that we are indeed victims. On the other hand, if we consciously seek out the things that are beautiful in life, our mind will keep finding more beautiful things to be grateful for.

So, for me, as a young woman, getting older was something I know I avoided thinking about. But the funny things is, I DO notice and like to observe people around me and I definitely remember seeing senior citizens around. I noticed when they would go out with their friends for lunch and when they showed up at events. I noticed when they were grocery shopping and taking their good old time counting their cash and coins instead of swiping their credit card. I also remember noticing kids and teenagers and the women in my stage of life, but what I never remember noticing were the middle aged 50-60 something women. And if I did, they were usually the moms or bubbies in the background, or some sour faced woman all alone. Where were the fun happy groups of women at this stage of life?

This awareness really came up a lot after I moved out of Lakewood. Lakewood is a community that is homogenous in so many ways. Bubbies can also still be young moms, women mostly wear wigs which to some extent hide age differences and keep everyone looking similar. Families stay close and local, so many women don’t really feel the full effects of empty nesting. These, among other reasons, may be why this middle aged demographic didn’t really stand out when I lived there.

Once I left the bubble of Lakewood, in both North Jersey and South Florida, I noticed there was a very significant gap between the young moms and the old people. In Springfield, New Jersey, I literally did not fit into any crowd. I was either too old or too young. Where were all the people my age? I did find a wonderful crowd of friends in Boca and Miami, although in both groups, I was still the oldest and pretty much the first one to empty nest. I kept collecting friends younger than me because, again, it seemed like once you hit a certain age, the women just disappeared. There were not friends to be made my age, so my new friends just kept getting younger. Here in Netanya, you see the same dynamic: There are either young families or old people. I mentioned this to a new friend of mine, curious to hear what she had to say, and she replied, “Yeah, now that I think about it, where are all the women our age?

Part II The Bad News

On the day of my 40th birthday I woke up in a panic. (To a Gen X’er, turning 40 meant we were over the hill. Of course in today’s world, nobody considers 40 old anymore!) I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and breathed a sigh of relief. I looked exactly the same as I had looked when I was 39! I didn’t suddenly become a Golden Girl! Phew!

But I knew I was getting closer, so began to shift my perspective. I decided that instead of dreading getting older, I would literally seize each day as if it were my last and really just all out enjoy my life. All bets were off: I was still just as young, energetic, and gorgeous as before, but now I had more wisdom and experience, and I cared way less about impressing anyone or needing other people’s approval. This was the decade that I created my own line of clothing and sold pieces to several boutiques. And it was also the decade I created Fashion-isha, the first Jewish modest fashion blog, which laid the foundation for a rich path for other modest and orthodox bloggers to follow in. And follow they did! It also afforded me some of the most wonderful experiences that included becoming one of the first modest fashion “influencers,” (although we didn’t use that word back then), getting published in magazines, meeting celebrities at fashion events, expanding my network of friends throughout the Jewish blogging world, getting invited to speaking engagements, and mentoring other bloggers.

Simultaneously, it was also in that decade that things started unraveling in my personal life. I use the word unraveling, because as difficult as things seemed at the time, the unraveling was actually closing one chapter in order to bring in a new one.

All the while, the aging thing was actually pretty ok. Sure I complained about gaining a few pounds, and how the body was changing, but I still had my energy, went out, had fun, hosted people every shabbos, got dressed up, and pivoted my blogging into social media management, spirituality and coaching.

Then I hit 50. I woke up and looked in the mirror and was like….ok…we are still good! My friends threw me a party on a boat and we had loads of fun! I started doing TikTok’s and reels on how this stage of life isn’t really that bad or hard at all. I was loving my badass Gen X attitude and telling people that we are the NEW generation of old people and we are different. I was actually IN that “missing” where-are-all-the-people-my-age decade and here I was, a strong voice for us all, except I was still the oldest in my friend groups, and if I think about it…where WERE the women in their 50’s just a few years older than me? Hmmmm….

And then I hit mid-decade, and one day I woke up and realized it had happened.

I disappeared. Or at least I felt like disappearing.

Let me explain:

Perimenopause and menopause are two very different things. Women in perimenopause like to use it as an excuse for weight gain and bitchiness, and love to complain about it, but comparatively it’s not all that terrible, really, when you take into account all the hormonal cycles and ups and downs we have experienced since puberty and our childbearing years. The symptoms are pretty similar: Moodiness, bloating, weight gain, intolerance of certain foods and alcohol, hot flashes, itchiness…blah blah blah.

But during actual menopause something BIG happens. And I cannot exactly put my finger on it, but it’s pretty monstrous and extremely mental. The brain actually changes like in some sort of backwards adolescence, and you literally lose yourself in so many ways. The demons you once thought you’ve overcome come back with a vengeance. The courage (that IDGAF attitude) that propelled you towards new endeavors and success in your 40’s suddenly flickers out like a strong gust on a little candle. Our kids are pretty much grown and doing their own thing, which leaves us with a lot more time to overthink and overfeel. And, for many of us, life did not turn out exactly how we imagined, bringing lots of disappointments, regrets and sadness. Between all those circumstances, and the drastic hormone and neurological changes, it’s the perfect storm for those demons to come back to demand their final round of healing. This time they are bigger, stronger and hungrier than ever. They have you up against the wall, gun to your head, screaming, “It’s time to finally fix your damn life!” And they’re not playing. You better fix all that stuff you stuffed down and said, “Nah, I’m good,” to, because it was too painful and exhausting to do the work to heal. And you would have had to show up for yourself, and that might mean you lose some people, and even a whole big chunk of your previous self. It might mean you have to disappear for a while. Even if you don’t want to.

We wake up at 3 am drenched in sweat, our heads swimming with anger, grief, fear and regrets. (And on top of that we always have to pee!) We end up starting fights with the people we love, because our fuse is so short, and we feel so needy. And then the fights only confirm everything our demons have been screaming at us about: See?? You are not safe. You are not loveable. You made big mistakes. You always screw up. You’re a failure. It’s too late. What’s the point?

These labels: “demons” and “monsters”, are pretty evil sounding, but in truth they are all the bits and pieces of ourselves…our actual “angels” …that are begging to be seen, heard, hugged, accepted, loved, and set free. They have been our helpers and protectors in the past, and they need to be listened to until they feel safe enough to finally leave us alone. And replacing version 1.0 with version 2.0 is not for the faint of heart. First, we need to reassure them that we are safe and that no one can truly hurt us anymore because we are finally ready, with the knowledge that it’s our own responsibility to care for ourselves, set healthy boundaries, and create our own dream life. It’s scary as hell, because the people who are not jiving with this new healed self may get really pissed at us. Like if someone is used to you always saying yes, or always picking up their pieces, and then you stop because it’s not our damn job to be everyone’s yes man and fix their problems, you may lose something big, like the toxic people we convinced ourselves we needed. But not only that, we also have to lose parts of ourselves…the parts that craved being nice all the time to experience “love”, or the inner drama queen who creates situations that bring attention or validation to themselves, or the one who partied hard but really just needed to drink because she has social anxiety and still worries she’s not fun enough sober. We have to UNBECOME, and it’s scary AF.

These demons/angels are relentless, and therefore we are often exhausted and full of rage. We lose the desire to go out or have fun, and on top of that, we lose our sex drive, and it’s the sex hormones that give us that feel-good, sexy, I-can-conquer-the-world, dopamine filled motivation. And when that goes, all we want to do is lay on the couch, hide behind a screen, be by ourselves because socializing feels so pointless and draining, and then we feel even more alone. And god forbid we should make ourselves vulnerable and reach out to friends, even though the minute we do we feel better, and we probably help them feel better too, because they’re probably going through the same thing silently as well. But we don’t, because we are stuck, and sad, and we have lost ourselves. We feel like disappearing. So we disappear.

Part III The Good News

We have two choices in this stage of life:

Disappear. Curl up into nothingness. Hide behind a screen to wallow in your loneliness and misery. Or become that sour faced 50 something “Karen” you see who picks a random cause to channel all her aggression into. Or use alcohol and food to get you through and then get fat and sick, but at least you can fill your schedule with doctor appointments and taking meds to give you something to focus on. (Too many people accept that this is the stage of life where we start getting sick and needing tons of medications. This is all a brainwashed lie!)

Disappear. Become a brave badass and do the deep healing work that needs to get done. Hire a coach or a therapist. Feel those feelings even if you need to scream, cry, swim in the sea, and do somatic weird-ass movements to shake it all off. Even if you feel silly feeling your childhood emotions at an age where the world views you as a full adult. Set strong boundaries and be ok with disappointing people. Lose the people that are not aligned with your upcoming best self. Lose the parts of you that think they’re protecting you but are no longer needed. (Like the “people pleaser”, the “self criticizer”, the “always-trying-for-the-perfect-body” self abuser, and the “scared wild child”.) Reassure those parts and let them know they’re safe and with YOU now. This is not for the faint of heart because our brains DO NOT want to lose the parts of ourselves that we’ve built around us (ego) and will resist as much as possible. It takes a lot of strength and hard work, and you may need to mourn the loss of your old self, but do it anyway. Then re-parent yourself with compassion, and affirm that you are safe and awesome, and that you got this, because you do.

Then, slowly reappear: Make a bucket list and start checking the damn thing off. Go to music festivals, jump out of airplanes, do psychedelic healing, travel, start a new business, spend your money on things you’ve been pushing off, move somewhere exotic and scary. But mostly try to uncover who you are authentically, like before the world got a hold of you and shut you down. Try to think back to your first happy memory. What did you love to do as a kid? What were some of your “crazy” dreams and wishes. It’s time to re-become that person full of wonder and passion. Get out and connect with people authentically as YOU, and suddenly you will find new friends that align with you.

And finally, take care of your health: Eat whole healthy foods, prioritize protein, take supplements like magnesium, calcium, zinc and vitamin D for your bones. Fix your sleep habits and rest when you need to. Get outside in nature and walk as much as you can. Lift weights a few times a week because you will need your muscles for the next stage of your awesome life. Now is the crucial use it or lose it stage. And finally, prioritize yourself, because you finally know that you’re worth it, and you will feel better soon, and you still have almost 1/2 your life left to live, and it’s on you to make it amazing.

Author’s Note:

A thought that came to me as I was talking with my 81 year old mom. I’m hesitant to use the cliched butterfly metaphor, but I have a little twist to the story. Usually, the butterfly story represents external beauty. The caterpillar is the ugly insect that spins a cocoon and eventually comes out as a beautiful butterfly. But did you ever actually watch a sped up video of the process? I recently did on an Instagram story and it was mesmerizing and devastatingly beautiful. (Just like childbirth). And I finally got my answer of where all the women in their 50’s are:

They’re cocooning.

When you watch that video of the butterfly struggling out of the cocoon, it is dark, scary and messy, (kind of like mascara running down a middle aged woman’s face). Layers upon layers have to fall away and turn to rubbish, and it looks oh so painful. But keep this in mind: The next time you see that table of silver haired, wrinkly old ladies laughing together at the early bird special, or dancing away with no shame on a cruise, or sitting on the beach unfazed by their saggy boobs and bellies, just know, these are the real butterflies. They are no longer earthbound, or ego bound, they are finally flying and they are free, free, free.

(And my Mom loved that!)

There you have it! Hope you enjoyed! Leave your comments below or email me HERE!

2025-03-30T09:16:00.002-04:00

The Spring Issue of Glimmer Magazine is LIVE!

Great News!

Issue 2 of Glimmer Magazine is live! The theme is being the light and it's chock full of spiritual and practical tips for lightening your load, your life and your attitude before Pesach. There are also some great recipes, plus gorgeous fashion, design, and tablescapes, with lots of clickable links for easy shopping. Below is the embedded flip book best viewed on a computer or iPad, plus the link to a downloadable, printable PDF file!

There is so much love that was put into this issue, and I'm truly grateful to all my contributors and advertisers. Enjoy reading it and please share the links with your friends!

PDF Link to Issue 2 of Glimmer Magazine

Link to FlipBook or flip through below:

2025-03-24T16:25:00.008-04:00

From Cocoon to Glimmer: A New Chapter Begins

Life has a way of ushering us through many seasons—some filled with light and ease, and others where we find ourselves wrapped in a cocoon of transformation. After several years of navigating life changes, multiple moves, and the bittersweet journey of watching my children grow up and leave the nest one by one, I found myself in such a cocoon. Honestly, I felt stuck for a long time. It was a time of reflection, growth, and quiet evolution.

On one particularly challenging day, a special friend offered a gentle nudge: "Why don't you start writing again?" She reminded me that I had touched so many, and that she believed it was my calling. Those simple words reignited a long-dormant spark within me. What began as a tentative return to words soon blossomed into something far greater than I had imagined.

Today, I am beyond thrilled to introduce Glimmer Magazine-a sophisticated space for women of all ages and stages, created to inspire growth, health, healing, and the journey toward becoming our most authentic selves. This magazine is not just about glossy pages; it's about the light that emerges when we embrace every part of our story.

Glimmer is a celebration of resilience, empowerment, and the joy of living fully. It reflects the belief that it is never too late to rediscover your passion, rewrite your narrative, or step into the woman you are meant to be.

I am honored to share this labor of love with you. I hope it inspires you to find the glimmer of possibility within your own journey.

Downloadable PDF link to the full magazine HERE

Or flip through the first issue of Glimmer Magazine here:

I Deleted Instagram Off My Phone and This Is What Happened

2024-03-10T14:43:00.004-04:00

It's been two full weeks since I deleted Instagram off the home page of my phone. Since then my life has become exponentially better: I started painting again which is something I've been wanting to do for literally years, and I finished my first project (a painted Louis Vuitton bag) within one and a half weeks. I also made the decision that even if I had to sit and stare at the walls in boredom it would be better than the black hole of scrolling that had consumed a massive amount of the last few years of my life. And what happened was that I was forced to notice my feelings, and through them, I was able to address certain fears and insecurities that were holding me back. This led to me actively working through healing processes that I spewed about on social media, but had obviously been running away from, by escaping into virtual reality and playing the role as the coach, healer and expert. And man it's definitely easier said than done. But I did the uncomfortable work by really going deep into my feelings, listening to the parts of me I had been keeping hidden away, giving myself compassion and then finally shifting into a new version of myself that was dying to come out. I also faced one of my most uncomfortable fears and resumed writing a book that I started literally five years ago.

One of the things that I did to set myself up for success was to replace the Instagram app with a journaling app. Because these social media apps have been designed and programmed with AI to get us all addicted and distracted to the point that if we don't post everything we're doing, eating, or feeling it's as if our lives don't count at all, I knew that I would instinctively go to and click on the app in that location whenever I felt bored or tired. But what I found out was that in those first few days, my neural pathways were so ingrained to click on the app, that I did it constantly throughout the day without even thinking about it. So I journaled instead. I also realized that taking photos and posting things in and of itself is not a bad thing; it was and is something I love to do as a powerful form of self expression. The difference was that I was doing it privately for myself, which eliminated all the expectations for likes, comments, messages...aka outside validation!

With every day that went by, my addiction to clicking on the app started to wane, and I began to feel empowered about keeping my life private, as well as saving loads of energy that spending time on social media seems to zap out of us, for writing, painting, and expressing creativity in ways that served to boost my own self esteem and love, rather that steal it away. I also actively made an effort to reach out to friends and family that I love, or wanted to get to know better, and scheduled to meet up with some of them. I created a social calendar for myself that was full enough to not feel isolated, but also gave me my own space to expand myself, heal and create privately.

Looking back on my journal posts, I realized that on the first few days I wrote as if I was planning on posting what I was writing on social media to "share" with the world; because that is somehow how I justified spending so much of my time on the app. I convinced myself that I was "inspiring the world," and that after a week or so I would get back on and share my posts. But, my mental health and life in general got so much richer that as the days went by, my journal posts became more personal, real, and for-my-eyes-only, as journal posts should be!

This morning I woke up and decided it was time to write about my two week experience more publicly, but in a space that is my own and has a lot of meaning for me. Opening up Blogger and logging on was like coming home to a place that gave me so much joy and fulfillment, even before Instagram was invented! Will I go now and post this link on Instagram? I have no clue yet. Maybe I'll just leave it here and whoever is meant to see it will, and that will be enough. Maybe not. But either way I am writing this for myself in this moment.

So now, I'm going to selectively share some of the thoughts and insights I recorded in my journal that will bring light to my Instagram detoxing experience. Of course I will only pick out the things I posted that I choose to include expressly for the sake of sharing some of the journey of the experience.

Sunday, February 25, 2014

My first journal post was a voice note I recorder that is loosely transcribed here:

"So I replaced my Instagram app with this app so I could take a break from Instagram which I started to find was very toxic for me, and it was sucking out the time that I could be using for more creative endeavors. And I know if I do some creative things, I will be happier. So, since I added this app, it's been maybe an hour and I clicked on it like 3 times just instinctively and then I would just quickly turn it off, so now I'm entering my first journal entry. It's Sunday morning, when I should be saying my tehillim and davening and connecting spiritually, but of course I keep going back to my phone, so one of my goals this week is to get more connected spiritually and elevate my vibrations to feel the love of the world for myself and others and do my creative work without having to post it or get validation for it from Instagram which is extremely toxic."

"....I already feel so much better abut writing in this journal than scrolling or posting on Insta. With posting there are expectations of validation; with journaling there is just relishing and holding onto the current emotions and moments for yourself. I can already feel how much healthier this is for me."

Here are some more journal screenshots. (Note: I cut off parts that I'm keeping private and are not relevant to this post):

Monday, February 26, 2014

Journal voice note about self expression for the sake of self expression for yourself, transcribed loosely:

"Another thing I'm learning about myself through this practice of journaling is that I have so much to express. I have so many ideas that keep coming to me that I need to express. The problem is, when you express on social media there are only a tiny percentage of people who are going to see it or respond to it. When you're putting it out there, it kind of comes with an expectation of results. So with that expectation comes the disappointment of realizing that most people don't even appreciate what you have to say (it waters down your impact, as opposed to sharing one on one with real friends). And that can trigger feelings of not being heard, seen or appreciated. But when you write it in a journal it's just for you. There's no pressure whatsoever. Expressing yourself does not necessarily depend on the approval you get to be valid. Whatever you want to express is valuable and worthy in its own right, and based on your perception, not anyone else's. As the famous quote goes: The way others react or respond to you is always about them, and not about you."

Tuesday, February 27, 2014

Monday, March 4, 2024

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Friday, March 8, 2024

This was after my daughter ran in the Jerusalem marathon and I got the itch to share. But I ended up sharing on WhatsApp with close friends and family only.

Pretty much towards the end of the first week, my posts were mostly private journaling, rather than about being off Instagram. It took LESS THAN A WEEK to wake up and live fully outside the metaverse without feeling any lack or emptiness (besides for a few minutes a day of Pinterest scrolling for inspiration for my creative endeavors). Once I unglued myself from the muck of AI addiction it becomes crystal clear how dull, repetitive, competitive, and negative life is in there as opposed to living in the real world. Even if that includes times of boredom and facing uncomfortable emotions. Life is still richer and healthier offline. I'm honestly mindblown at how effective AI is at convincing us of the opposite!

I now see Instagram simply as a tool. Perhaps I'll share this very post there. Perhaps I'll visit once in a while and create some content when I feel like I have something worthy of sharing. Or perhaps I'll just let it go for good. Because after two weeks I hardly miss it and can clearly see it has done nothing beneficial for my life. And yes, I'm even including the fact that it helped me facilitate some fame back in the Fashion-isha blogging days. Really! What has it given me that I have sold my soul to the machine for? It hasn't made me more rich or authentically loved. And it certainly has not aided in healing what needed to be healed. If anything, it did the opposite. If and how ever I decide to use social media, I'm going to be the one using it, and not the other way around.

With much love,

Sharon

March 10, 2014

A note on being an activist on social media: This may get me some hate, because I know from personal experience that getting swept into becoming a keyboard activist for a cause gives you a tremendous sense of purpose and accomplishment. The ego will convince us that we are changing the world and without our posts the world will fall apart. But here's the truth: The world IS falling apart and full of evil regardless of our posts. The world is ALSO constantly being built up and full of beauty, love, joy and goodness. The perfect example is Israel: For people who only know Israel from media, it is a scary, dangerous, war torn, politically broken, sad, and for many, evil place. But in the real world, Israel is exquisitely beautiful, constantly being built up, full of joyful, strong, resilient, kind, friendly, and crazy fun people of every race and religion. Today, an Arab couple out celebrating the upcoming Ramadan stopped me to ask if I would take a picture for them. The interaction was light and friendly, as if all was good and peaceful in the world. And in that snapshot of the moment, in both my world and theirs, and the world of everyone who was around us, IT WAS good and peaceful! New high tech and modern buildings, roads, train tracks, gourmet restaurants, and businesses are popping up and flourishing at a pace that is nothing less than miraculous, despite any concurrent darkness. But the metaverse (and that's where we all are when we're spending hours on social media), is a way darker place than the real world. Inside, we have access 24/7 to every horrific thing that is going on. We are literally exposing ourselves to too much darkness! G-d created us to have a limited experience based on our own personal lives, not to have to experience every terrible thing going on in the world at once, or to have to see everything everyone is busy with all day and night. This is absolutely terrible for our health and well being and does very little to actually affect things in the real world. We've been brainwashed about how evil it is to stay silent on social media, but by spending hours inside a virtual world, we deplete any and all energy we have to actually take actions necessary to try to fix the real world. This, I believe is purposeful and part of the evil agenda of social media. (Apple's logo is pretty much symbolism for Adam and Chava's Eitz Ha'daas fruit! And guess who the snake is?) A cordial conversation with an Arab taxi driver is far more effective than reposting online trolls to show how "bad" people who are sitting behind their keyboards (or bots) are. I've wasted hundreds of hours as a keyboard warrior and it has done nothing to change whats' going on on the outside. What it does do though, is it rots us on the inside, causing us to feel frozen, stuck, paralyzed in doom and despair, and eventually desensitized and brainwashed. I've learned that by getting out of there and actively using our energy to become our best versions in the real world, we can change the environment around us, which creates a ripple affect around the world. If you have a blessed life, but feel guilty because it's so bad on social media that you feel like you have to post, it's just an illusion. Get out of there. Enjoy your blessed life and give back in the real world.

Why I Am Scared To Write This

2022-09-11T22:15:00.002-04:00

I am scared. I am really scared.

Last night, while laying in bed I promised myself that today I would start writing again. It's been a really long time. I'm scared because of the subject I'm writing about. I'm scared because I'll be exposing an unattractive side of myself. I'm scared because I know that, according to the demographics of my socials, most people who will be reading this are of a different generation, and when I was their age I would not have wanted to read about this. But, this is exactly why I am writing. Maybe if someone like me was the one writing it I would have read it. And maybe it would have given me hope and a better perspective. So I am writing this for me. And if this ends up helping others in not feeling isolated, washed up, or misunderstood then that's even better.

I am writing about getting old.

I'm not sure if I'm unique in this, but when I was younger, it felt like there were two separate species of people. There were young people, and there were old people. And we were different. I'm aware that this outlook is pretty obnoxious, and I admit that I was an "agist" and had struggled with connecting to older people. I found it annoying when old people moved slowly in the grocery aisle, or took forever to count their change while paying for something when they should just be swiping their credit card and getting on with it. And don't even get me started when it came to getting stuck behind an old person driving. It was irritating when I'd have to wait for them to find their glasses to see something on their phone, or when they would say "what's that" a bunch of times because they could never hear what I was saying.

The night before my 40th birthday I panicked because 40 was such a scary number to me. I literally felt like I was still a kid in some sense, but time was ticking along anyway. When I woke up and looked in the mirror, I breathed a sigh of relief, because I looked exactly the same as 39: Young, pretty, energetic, cool. I made a decision that I would live every day as best as I could because I suddenly became aware that there's really no going back, and I would fight like hell to create more meaning in life while maintaining my looks, body, energy.

And I did. As a matter of fact, it was in my 40s that I started this very blog, becoming one of the first, original modest fashion bloggers. I also looked my best, ran my first 1/2 marathon, donated my kidney, and grew spiritually from some difficult, life changing events during this decade. It almost felt like I came into myself and my full adulthood only in my 40's. And I fought like hell to appear and act young. I had this! I was going to win this battle on aging.

It was all going pretty well up until the last few years. Enter peri-menopause, 20 pairs of reading glasses all over the house, a changing body that includes shrinking and a belly that persists no matter how many foods I eliminate or how much I work out or how many supplements I take, my youngest kid leaving the nest, sweat pouring down my face every time I drink, and then sweat pouring down my body at 3am even when I didn't drink, a diagnosis of osteopenia, a bout of skin cancer, insanely itchy skin, losing my drive to go out at night with friends, losing my sex drive, feeling down and lonely for no reason, feeling unmotivated and purposeless, not being able to get my shit together because I was so afraid of walking into that dark night of old age.

I realize now that this judgmentalism and discomfort with older people was because of my acute awareness of how this would eventually happen to me, and I didn't want to face it. But no matter how much I fought it, it inevitably started creeping up in my own life. Giving in to reading glasses and then having them perpetually perched on the top of my head...sometimes 2 at a time, but then nowhere to be found when someone wanted to show me something to read or see. The not being able to hear as well and having to say "what" which profoundly lessened my chance of ever finding out what was said at all because people really despise having to repeat themselves. The shock when I caught my reflection in a window and would see what looked more like a little Bubby than the Hot-Mom vision I still had in my mind. These things creep up slowly in a way that are are hardly noticeable, until it hits you like a cold shower. Why did I never stop to think that the old people I saw were once the young, beautiful and vibrant people?

These are some of the thoughts that swirl around my head as I lay in bed, staring at the ugly ceiling fan that I used to despise, that is now graciously generating the cool air I need for my overheating body. I am face to face with the terrifying knowledge that I am currently transitioning into an old person. I know a lot of you will say, "Come on, you're not old. Stop it." Well whether I'm old right now or not, the fact is that in less than 1/3 of the life I have already lived I most certainly will be. If I'm lucky. And like everything else in life, it's not a destination, it's a process. As I toss and turn trying to get comfortable in a bed I used to easily fall asleep in, I am no longer in denial that I am currently, and most certainly in that process. So I promise myself I will start writing about it. Even though I'm scared that it's a topic no one wants to read about. Because I can. And I'm good at it. And it's time to add meaning to all of this dread.

I know a lot of you will say, "Why is this so dreadful for you? It's such a blessing, you have experienced so much and you are lucky to be on this journey." And yes, that is 100 percent the truth. I am lucky and blessed. And I'm fully aware that I look great for my age. But as someone who has feared becoming that annoying old person, and as someone who has spent decades working on my fitness, my physical and mental health, and feeling purposeful, it really sucks that suddenly, when I'm no longer useful as a vessel for bringing life into the world, I have to experience this twisted version of a reverse adolescence. It feels like suddenly, the body and mind have conspired to send this message all at once: YOU ARE OFFICIALLY IN DECLINE. BE PREPARED TO WATCH YOUR SKIN AND MUSCLES SHRIVEL UP AND YOUR BODY EXPAND. YOU WILL ALSO OFTEN FORGET THINGS AND FEEL LIKE SHIT, AND NOT TOLERATE MOST FOODS, AND NO ONE REALLY CARES BECAUSE IT'S "NORMAL". SO SUCK IT UP. OH, AND IT'S REALLY HOT IN HERE TOO. WELCOME TO HELL.

Okay, okay, it's not really always that bad. My mind can be quite the drama queen sometimes. But, I can no longer be in denial that old people are not a different species. The truth is, we are all the same. We are actually all souls that don't age at all, but appear differently depending where we are on the path of life. And as I move further along on that path I accept that I am the same as even that old lady I just saw pushing her yelping mini-doggy in the baby carriage. I now know that she still feels like the same person inside as she was when she was younger, and only her shell has changed. And she is probably sad that people avoid her or get annoyed with her because they are under the illusion that she is somehow different, flawed, over.

So now, if I'm stuck behind an older person blocking the aisle in Home Goods or Target, inspecting every throw pillow or smelling every candle, I try to be friendly and kind. Maybe she's taking her time because she does not have anyone to rush home for anymore. Maybe she hopes to experience some type of human connection when she ventures out. So I will say hi and spark a conversation. And it's pretty gratifying. Not only because it's always a good idea to be friendly and kind to all humans, but because old people are actually really smart and funny. Of course they are. They've been in this game of life for longer than most.

I've really been trying to reframe it all. I joined TikTok and started making videos showing that women like me in their 50's were still cool, good looking, energetic, funny and relevant. Surprisingly, I found a huge community of TikTok users in my demographic. At first I was a little shocked at how some of these people looked. Hey, I'm at that weird stage in my life where people my age all look older than me :) But damn! Some of them actually looked really good too. Like a 55 year old female body builder who is drop dead gorgeous and probably thriving more than she has ever thrived in her life. These people were making TikToks and having fun. They were talking about exercise, healthy eating, supplements, and natural "meds", instead of running to seventeen doctor appointments and getting steroid shots and physical therapy for their achy joints. THANK GOD! I realized that the aging people of today are not exactly following the same rules as those in the past. Maybe we should actually change the name of this stage from "Menopause" to "Adolescence Part II". We are definitely going to be a different kind of old, and I'm really vibing with that.

So here I am. As I write, I walk through the fear and realize that the future does not have to be that bleak reality of retirement communities, hideous capri pants, bleeding lipstick, and being a lonely dog mom. Just like we survived acne and insecurity and sulky moodiness in our teens, we will survive hot flashes and low libidos and facing new frontiers at this stage of life. And it's because of my elderly wisdom and experience that I now know what I didn't when I was in Adolescence Part I: That without a shadow of a doubt it's up to ME to do the work and create my own incredible future, bringing in the best damn years of my life. There is no denying anymore that it's coming. I WILL be an old lady. The free, fun, fit, healthy, compassionate, amazing version that you might actually look forward to becoming. Cheers!

Sharon

*In my next post I will share with you my most annoying symptoms of this stage of life and the remedies that I have found useful to me. As someone who avoids going down the route of doctors, hormone replacement therapy, and Pharma meds (unless G-d forbid my life depends on it), some of my personal remedies may sound controversial to some of you. But that's what makes this so interesting. I am a seeker and adventurer and I am having fun tweaking my life to counteract some of the discomfort of aging. Stay tuned!

On the Covid Vaccine: My 30 Year Wellness Journey and Why I Feel the Way I Feel

2020-12-26T21:17:00.001-05:00

The idea for this article was formulated after I posted an Instagram story about how disturbed I was that Quantas Airlines was considering mandatory vaccination to fly their airline. I was actually quite surprised when I got some comments opposing my negative attitude about a potential COVID VAX PASS for traveling. One woman left a comment asking: “Sharon, why are you so against vaccinations? Didn’t you vaccinate your kids?”

Honestly, I was overwhelmed by that question because I have never been an anti-vaxxer, and yes I did vaccinate my children with the required vaccines. I even remember feeling judgmental at one point towards anti-vaxxers. So I actually get it. When we learn something that feels right, it becomes our belief system, and it’s really difficult to understand those outside of it. But I was actually surprised that the concept of not wanting to inject myself or my kids (and grandkids) with a brand new, rushed vaccine, with a new technology that affects our RNA, was equivalent to being against all vaccines. I realized there was no short answer to that question, because I have had years and years of personal experiences that have led me to feel the way I feel.

From the time we are born we are ALL indoctrinated to believe in doctors, vaccines, and drugs. Our lives are in their hands from day one! We are taught that our lives are being extended and saved on a level like never before in history because of vaccines and Western medicine. Right? And yes, I believe this may be true to some extent and I am grateful. But the system we have become dependent on and have put all of our belief into is far from utopian. See, you have to kind of get screwed by that system to start waking up to what’s really going on. And even with that, it's not all black and white or good vs. evil. That's why it's important to open up our minds, get educated, think for ourselves, and find some type of balance that works for ourselves and our families. So here, I will share just some of my stories that have led me to thinking the way I think and living the way I live, especially during these crazy times:

1990: The Pediatrician:

The morning after I gave birth to my first child, the pediatrician on call came into my room and, being a nervous first time mommy, felt a wave a relief when he told me with real care and compassion that it was totally normal to feel overwhelmed and I could always feel free to call him at any time, no question being too stupid. He also told me to make sure I make some time for myself, and that it wasn't selfish if I needed a break from my baby. This was way before we had social media support, and before “self-care” was a thing, so hearing this was everything. I was thrilled to have met such a wonderful pediatrician, who eventually became a close family friend. He would see us in his home office whenever we needed off hour visits, and he always gave me his “free” sample bottles of the “best” most expensive antibiotics he had in his “hidden” closet.

I would often come to his office, and notice the stylish, savvy pharma reps dropping off gifts, samples and basically kissing a$$. As a young stay at home mom, stuck in gloomy central NJ, I remember dreaming about working for a pharmaceutical company - traveling and taking doctors out to sell my magic potions for great profit. After all, it was those reps who always dropped off all those beautiful free samples that my doctor was always generously giving me so my babies would sleep the minute they whined for a second or tugged at their ears. Believe me, I get the magic of a doctor that waves his drug wand promising to make everything ok.

My first indication that putting a baby on antibiotics for basically his entire first year of life is not exactly the best idea came when I took my 2nd child to the dentist, and he told me that he could tell that some of his adult teeth coming in were damaged. I was shocked! When I asked why, he asked me if he’d been on a lot of antibiotics. I said, well…he was that kind of baby…colicky, cranky and always getting sick…so basically he’d been on about 8 rounds of antibiotics in his first year alone! The dentist just nodded his head and said it makes sense.

At the time, I didn’t understand what I do now about how taking too many antibiotics messes up the “good bacteria” balance in the gut, causing all kinds of problems and affecting many delicate processes. (Including serotonin production!)

As I became a little bit more wary regarding antibiotics, I spoke to the doctor and he told me straight up that most ear infections are viral and doctors give antibiotics even when not necessary because it appeases the parents. Also viruses thrive on bacteria so if you wipe out the bacteria the virus is not as potent. What he didn’t say was that when you wipe out the bacteria you’re also wiping out the good stuff.

A few years later, my doctor moved further away from my home, so going to the doctor became a whole trip. I still loved him and his practice, but I was starting to become more aware. I understood that the doctors were getting kickbacks for the meds they prescribed, and that my kids did not need antibiotics every time they didn’t feel well.

I started to learn why some “crazy” people were taking their kids to the chiropractor for ear infections: The gentle adjustments helped drain the fluid that was causing the pain and infections, in order to avoid antibiotics. Crazy started sounding not-so-crazy.

Eventually I implemented my new "sick rule." If my kids didn’t feel well, we waited 24 hours. If they had a high fever or still seemed unwell after 24 hours we would go to the doctor. And guess what? 99.9 percent of the time we didn’t end up going to the doctor. I also started noticing how often my friends were running to doctors and putting their kids on antibiotics and all kinds of meds, and how much less my kids got sick once I stopped running to doctors and putting them on meds. It was quite eye opening.

1995: The Internist

When my 3rd child was born in 1995, we were in a transition. We were planning on moving out of Lakewood, but our plan fell through and we ended up moving in with my mother-in-law temporarily. It was definitely a low-point in our lives. I was post-partum, 3 kids in, without a home of our own, and literally starting a new business from scratch.

I wish that I knew what I know now: Sometimes plans don't work out in order to give birth to new and better things. But at the time I suffered from terrible anxiety. The kind of anxiety that is really, really frightening. The kind that, I’m assuming is driving a lot of today’s population to believe in something….just something…anything…even if it doesn’t make sense…to save them. Like a mask? Perhaps a vaccine? Believe me, I get it because I've been there.

I went to my internist and the minute he walked in the room I burst out crying. I told him I was hardly functioning and I had awful anxiety. I told him that I wasn’t sleeping, and I needed to sleep because I had 3 kids, one a baby, and how would I function? I was a wreck. He, unlike my pediatrician, was not empathetic at all. He just looked at me expressionless and told me I have postpartum depression. If felt like he was just slapping a label on me and proceeded to write me a prescription. As he wrote on his pad, I insisted it wasn’t PPD, because my baby was already 8 months old and I wasn’t depressed, I was just anxious and afraid and my life had been turned upside down. He told me I was wrong and prescribed me with anti-depressants and sleeping pills. (He didn't even give me anything for anxiety!) He told me I must take the meds and come back in 3 months for more.

Looking back, I probably should have gone to a therapist, not an internist. But back then, young mothers hardly went for therapy unless they had REAL problems. Therapy was way more taboo than it is now. Again, without social media, we had very little support or knowledge as to what was normal or considered a real problem. Women struggling as young mothers with anxiety began to gain awareness just a few years later, with the advancement of technology and better access to the communication and information that came out of that.

So I went home and took my pills. I don't really know if they worked, or if I just calmed down a little because I was doing something. I was definitely still not 100% ok for a long time, and I realized that I most definitely did NOT want or need to be on meds forever. I also was getting scared of how addicted I had become to the sleeping pills. I would worry about never being able to fall asleep again without popping a pill.

Now let’s keep in mind that the 90’s was the era when the pharmaceutical companies were heavily promoting their amazing, miraculous meds that essentially got a portion of America addicted to pills. And later, some of their kids too, from swiping the bottles out of the medicine cabinets during parties or episodes of drama or depression. I used to get full bottles of the strongest pain killers (aka opioids aka rich man's heroine) after I gave birth. You can google the pharma lawsuits and all that fun stuff if you want, but that's when I started realizing that many doctors were just glorified drug dealers. Not all, but many.

I have no idea why or how I had the motivation to do what I did, but I decided to get myself off the pills. I would get through the afternoon, and after my kids were sleeping, I’d go into my guest bedroom close the door and lean out the open window and give myself therapy. I would sometimes cry and even scream at myself things like, “I WILL NOT DIE IF I DON’T SLEEP! I WILL NOT DIE FROM ANXIETY. I AM A STRONG FREAKING MOTHER AND WIFE AND I DON’T NEED DRUGS TO FUNCTION.” I was doing verbal affirmations way before they were even a thing. Before bed, I broke my pills in 1/2, then in 1/4’s and then I just touched the bottle as a placebo to sleep. When I could sleep with the bottle touch I knew I was ok.

One day I ran into my internist jogging along the lake, and he stopped and said to me, “Hey, I haven’t seen you back in the office. You need to come in for more meds.” I told him that I was off the meds...that I had gotten myself off. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, “You can’t do that. No one does that.” I smiled and said, “Well, I did. Bye.”

I never stepped back into his office.

Early 2000’s: THE FLU VACCINE

One day, another doctor friend of ours saw me in the grocery store and came over to tell me I should make sure to come in and get my flu shot. I was like…what shot?

Now, I was born in 1968. We got the flu. That was part of life. To me, the flu was a bad cold. You got it and got to stay home from school or work. You got to stay in bed and have people bring you chicken soup. There was not a shot for the flu! But lo and behold, suddenly there was. And it was urgent that everyone get it.

It started to get annoying when this doctor friend bothered me about 2 or 3 more times over the next few months to get the flu shot. I was like, no way, I don’t need it. At this point, I was already pretty much against meds in general, unless really necessary. A few months later this particular doctor began to build his dream house down the block from us. Good for him. The pharmaceutical companies making those flu shots were a great sponsor! But, I and my family NEVER ever received the flu shot. And we hardly ever got the flu…hmmm.

This past spring, I found myself in a debate with a doctor, who told me straight to my face that by not taking the flu shot I could be responsible for killing the elderly. This idea of us being called "grandma killers" because we question medical trends or mandates is like being in a toxic relationship where the other person blames you for their problems and manipulates you to do things for them that are unhealthy for you. As a life coach I would say get out of that unhealthy relationship fast. Or at least set clear boundaries. If you are reading this and believe I'm being selfish, then you have been indoctrinated by one of the most unhealthy psychological manipulations of all time.

2005: MY GREAT AWAKENING

My mother-in-law, also a free thinker and always open to holistic health and wellness, introduced me to the book "Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About" by Kevin Trudeau. This was the book that clinched everything for me and introduced me to the world of holistic wellness. Always looking for more information on how to lose weight and improve my health and well being, and after everything I'd been through, I devoured the book. It also was the first time I was exposed to information about the corruption of the big food and pharma industries, and that's when everything started clicking into place in my brain. Kevin Trudeau actually got in big trouble after he published his books. He was arrested for spreading false information, but if you read his book, you'll see that he talks about basic things like getting enough sleep, filtering your water, reducing exposure to electronics, lowering your stress, and eating organic produce. A lot of people think it's a new thing that we are being censored regarding keeping healthy and well in order to prevent dependency on doctors and drugs, but this has been going on for a long time. I highly recommend his book, and you can still get on Amazon!

2008: THE BACKPAIN

About 12 years ago, my husband started experiencing a “pins and needles” sensation in his arm which eventually led to excruciating back pain. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty details, but suffice it to say, he was told, like so many others who experience unexplainable back pain, that he had several herniated discs and would need to have emergency surgery ASAP.

UM…no.

We weren’t having it. I had already known several people who experienced a similar scenario and even after a grueling surgery still experienced pain and even worse complications. This was when we began exploring other, more “holistic” options to help my husband. By the way, besides for the doctors telling him he needed emergency surgery they also prescribed him with mega doses of one of the world’s most addictive opioids: Percacet. Lots and lots of fat pills of Percocet. Thank G-d they didn’t help him and he didn’t take them more than once or twice.

One day I was having coffee with a friend and shared with her what was going on, and she mentioned Dr. Sarno’s book on backpain. I was eager for any “out of the box” solution, so I went straight to Barnes and Noble and bought it. My husband read it, and he “got it.” We both did. This was so our vibe: Understanding that our brains are brilliant machines that would rather us feel and deal with physical pain than our emotional issues. And also, that contrary to what most doctors will tell you, herniated discs are in fact very common and not dangerous at all.

He started asking around and talking to people about Sarno, and we were told about a guy in Brooklyn who gave seminars on the Sarno method. We attended a few and ultimately, this was the path that led my husband to his healing. It wasn’t instant relief, like how western medicine hooks us, but once the brain accepts this new way of seeing things, it is the solution for almost every non-life threatening pain you will ever experience. The method was logical and consistent with what we were seeking: Healing and wellness for the long term without dependency on doctors and medications.

For those of you who have been scared by doctors about your herniated discs, know this: The herniated discs ARE real, just not dangerous like many doctors say they are. My husband still has them, but lives with them without pain.

2019: THE OB/GYN

Last year when I went for my annual check up and had blood work done, my ob/gyn, the only type of doctor I still maintain on a regular basis, told me my testosterone levels were low and tried to sell me a type of patch they embed…yes…EMBED into your lower back! I was shocked, because this was supposedly a more progressive doctor. I mean it was 2019 in Boca Raton, Florida!

Thankfully, I got a second and third opinion on my bloodwork, and was told that my testosterone levels were in fact fine. I was actually a little estrogen dominant because of my age, but my hormones were basically good. Imagine if I would have trusted blindly and had hormones I didn’t need embedded in me??? Then what kind of medical problems would I have?

So there you have it. These are just some of my experiences. We are systematically being brainwashed that being healthy naturally is not possible without running to a doctor or taking meds. Staying healthy via holistic or natural ways is never promoted, and information about it is often censored. We are told that those in the more natural fields are crazy and are causing us harm, when in fact, they are trying to keep us well and off pharmaceutical dependency. We are told this by the people we trust: Our media, doctors, politicians, and even the FDA who is supposed to be protecting us! We are made to feel bad or selfish if we do not buy into running to get tested or vaccinated for the sake of the the world's "health and well being". How can anyone not see that those in charge really couldn't give a damn about the world's well being. Almost a year later, the world is far from well.

I’m blown away daily by what the fear mongering media, news outlets, tech companies, politicians and some doctors have done to the intelligence and independent thinking of most people. Fear is the best motivator. It’s how you get the masses to follow blindly even if the data makes no sense.

This is why many are not questioning the unhealthy measures the entire world has adopted because of COVID-19 after 10 MONTHS of seeing NO positive results from all of them, including staying home, masking, and social distancing. The absolute worst thing for our immune system and our whole-mind-body-emotional-spiritual-well-being is living in fear, staying home (non-exposure to germs and loneliness), masking (breathing in your own air, trapping viruses and bacteria into a dirty moist cloth, continuously placing something non-sterile against our mouths and noses; not to mention all the lack of smiles and the loss of non-verbal connection between humans), and social distancing (loss of healing human contact)! Do you really believe that doing these things long term are good for you? How is that even possible? It seems to me more likely that these mandates are purposely BAD for our health, causing us to be more dependent on doctors, drugs and of course the vaccine. A brand new not-tested-enough vaccine that uses a technology that is unknown as to how it will affect our bodies, our genetics, and our future generations.

So, do I trust the new vaccine? No, I do not. Am I against it being mandatory? Absolutely. Does that make me against all vaccines? Not necessarily. Am I telling you not to take it? Absolutely not. Will I take it? No! And I hope I am not forced to. I also do not think this will be the end game that brings us back to “normal,” which is the motivation for so many people to run and get the vaccine.

I hope this post gave you some insight into why I feel the way I feel. It took me a really long time, and a lot of editing to write this, as it's a very delicate and tricky topic. (See my disclaimer below.) I truly believe that my experiences together with my ability to write and verbalize how I feel deems me responsible to share this information. I know I will get flack from some in the medical industry, and also from those who really want to believe that the western medical system and our government are truly looking out for our best interests. But it's ok to question and research things if they don't feel right.

So what can we do?

I don't want to end this post on a negative vibe, so I'm planning on doing a part II where I talk about some basic things everyone can do to improve their lives, their health, and their general well being, despite whatever else is going on in the world. Stay posted!

Disclaimer:

This post is NOT to give medical advice or tell anyone what to do regarding the vaccine! This post is to share my own personal experiences and opinions, and also to open people's eyes to new ideas that may be helpful to them. It's up to each individual to assess their own situation and do their own research.

I am not against all doctors. Some of our best friends are doctors who are amazing and intelligent people who truly want to help others. A lot of the issues I have are with the system in which doctors are indoctrinated, but not necessarily with the individuals who work for or within these systems, who truly believe they are helping humanity.

I also believe that G-d is in charge and there are many different ways of healing in this world. What works for me may not work for you. I understand that in certain cases it is required to go to a doctor. I also do not claim to know more about Western medicine than doctors. I believe in living a healthy lifestyle to keep well, but if G-d gives someone an illness that is beyond their control, they should definitely seek a doctor's help, as well as alternative methods of healing and well being.

In the end this is G-d's world and everything that is happening is part of His plan. Let's pray that our worst fears actually are just conspiracy theories and that all will be well soon!

Florida In Crisis? My Covid Story

2020-07-19T23:51:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone! I hope you've all been well. I'm here to share my Covid story.

Butterfly mask by @mlwdesignny

I know you've all been hearing about our Covid crisis here in Florida, and the first thing I'd like to say is that we are (mostly) fine! But more on that later.

I'm not really great at exact dates or anything like that, but let's just say this story starts in that "ok" time around May, when the New York numbers were starting to thankfully come down, and here in Florida, we were starting to open up, and our numbers were just fine. There was this ray of hope in the air. We had all been waiting for the Florida spike for a while and it wasn't really happening, so we were kind of just feeling a bit hopeful that things would get better from here on in.

My eldest daughter and her family had come down to Florida to get away from the frigid and dreary weather in Chicago, especially since her kids were not in school. Of course she didn't come to our house. She rented her own house about 25 minutes away and we tried to be cautious with distancing when she first arrived.

But after a few days we all just chilled and decided to enjoy this little silver lining in all the craziness going on in the world. My kids and grandkids were close by! And this brought immense joy to our lives during a time when we were mourning the loss of our previously very social lives.

The plan was that my daughter and her family would stay in our area for 6 weeks and then go to Orlando for a few more weeks, and then go back to Chicago for the summer. It was truly a blessing. We were able to distract ourselves from the craziness of the world, and hang out with our kids and grandkids. We swam, went on bike rides, and barbecued.

Toward the end of their stay, my husband, who had been spending a lot of time in the pool with the kids, started to develop ear pain. At first, we chalked it up to swimmers ear. He went to his doctor who diagnosed him with an ear infection, and he was put on antibiotics.

It was at that time that the Covid cases in Florida had just started rising. It was about 5 weeks after we opened up. But we didn't even think for one second it was Covid-19. But just to be cautious, he decided to get tested, as he wasn't going to shul in order to be careful.

The interesting part was that when he went to get tested he was already cleared by his doctor as being better and was in fact feeling better. But to our utter surprise his test came back positive. We were shocked. He didn't have any Covid symptoms! Like the good man that he is, he made a commitment to quarantine for two weeks. I was told by my doctor friend that I need not quarantine. That I could still go grocery shopping and bike riding, but I should assume that I could be a silent carrier and to be extra cautious, wear my mask, and keep a distance from people. No biggie. I was already doing that. I made sure to not go to my yoga classes for two weeks and to only go out if necessary.

I did go on a bike ride one day, and I found it a bit difficult. I had to stop several times and my speed was slow, but I chalked it up to the fact that it was 100 degrees that day and I was riding at high noon! The next day I felt a little "funky". I had some stomach issues, which for me are not so uncommon, and my head felt a little woozy. I was also a bit more tired than usual.

That feeling lasted a couple of days. But I did not have fever, and I kept thinking if I wasn't paranoid about being exposed to Covid I probably wouldn't have noticed anything.

After we finished the 2 week quarantine, we went out to get antibody tests and we both came back positive for antibodies!

So....with great gratitude to Hashem, our Covid experiences were very mild....and quite interesting. It's amazing how each person experiences Covid differently. And that's one of the reasons why it's so difficult to feel secure during this crisis.

I had been posting a lot on Facebook about how mild the symptoms are for most people and that people should stop being afraid. To me, the fear mongering had been the most dangerous part of what had been going on. But, after being told by a friend that my posts were insulting to people who were really suffering with Covid, or people who had lost loved ones, I toned it down and shut my mouth.

Listen...I have my own personal opinions about this whole thing. But this post is not about sharing statistics or getting political, or talking about conspiracy theories. Even though I do believe that we may be overreacting based on the percentage of deaths, and that masks may not be protecting us and others as much as we are being told they are.

As a matter of fact...if you are in fact interested in seeing a video that shows actual scientific studies about the effectiveness of masks you can click this link HERE.

But for those of you who would rather not, that's fine too.

So, I'm not entirely convinced they help as much as we are being told they do, but I am willing to wear them on the chance that they do. And I'm not going to be a Karen about it! (OMG...even being a Sharon is difficult these days. I'll go into Starbucks and give my name, and through the mask they always hear "Karen." I'm like, NO! I'm Sharon, not Karen! But I digress.)

As far as Florida in crisis? Yes, we are now having a crazy spike. And yes, our hospitals are full, but thankfully not overwhelmed. And people seem to be recovering. Thank G-d! But keep in mind that tons of people are running out to get tested now. Everyone that has a sniffle, everyone that thinks they were exposed, and people who are just curious because of the spike itself.

If I wouldn't know about the numbers? I wouldn't actually feel like we are spiking. Here in Palm Beach County, the stores and restaurants are still open. My favorite gym, Yoga Joint, is still open, although, I just heard that the Yoga Joints in Broward County are requiring people to wear mask in the hot rooms during classes. (Say what??? Talk about elevating the challenge!) People seem to be out and about, on the beaches, walking, biking, shopping. And yes, people are complying and wearing masks indoors, and there are many that are wearing them outdoors too. It seems...we are (mostly) fine.

Just a regular day walking on the beach.

So here's what I'm going to say: I think for most people, Covid-19 will not be so bad. But for some it will be. And it's for those people that we need to be sensitive...even if you believe your rights are being infringed upon and that the government is overreacting or even trying to control the situation for political reasons. I could definitely go there...believe me! But what I have learned, above all, is to be a little bit more sensitive to others and how they need to deal with all of this. Even though the act of accepting our differences is in itself a bit isolating. It is not easy for anyone right now. Besides for the fear of physical illness, there are huge mental health repurcussions from what's going on. Our world has changed and social distancing, although we can justify it away as acting out of kindness, is extremely difficult for humans.

As I wrote in my latest Instagram post

"One of the hardest parts about what’s going on these days is this constant feeling of isolation. And I’m not even talking about “quarantine” which most people are out of. First of all we need to acknowledge that there has been a major shift in the way we interact with people and that in and of itself... keeping a physical distance, no hugging, a constant and acute awareness of touching things that others have touched... these are all social changes that can have strong negative affects on the human psyche. Especially now with the knowledge that this is not just a temporary situation... ouch. And another aspect of feeling isolation is realizing that so many people who used to be likeminded, may feel so strongly...and differently... than us. That realization can almost feel like a sense of abandonment. I think it’s really important we acknowledge that this new reality can be extremely painful... and we may be feeling very lonely even if we see our friends from even just a few feet away. It’s just not the same. And those feelings are valid and real. The key is to realize we are all feeling this way TOGETHER. May Hashem heal this world ASAP because we are social beings and we need to connect! So let’s do our best to connect in the ways we can: By offering help to others, reaching out to friends with kind words, and being supportive of other people’s choices even if we don’t agree with them..."

Try this: Make sure you do something that makes you happy every single day, get out of your head (and the news) and do something for another, and know that every day that you're healthy is a blessed gift!

Wishing you all loads of health, peace of mind, and love,

Sharon

How To Calm a Middle of the Night Panic Attack in Under 5 Minutes

2020-03-24T19:31:00.000-04:00

Life got real weird, real fast...no?

Just a month ago, even though we already knew about the deadly Caronavirus: Covid-19, we were fine! Weren't we? It was just a bad virus and we would get through it. No need to panic.

Back in the day, (a month ago feels like a lifetime ago!) I wrote a post on Facebook telling people to go about their lives and not to panic, because it's not good for our immune systems, and I got blasted by some that I was doing people a disservice by downplaying the pandemic that was about to hit our shores. Someone actually commented, "This post will not age well."

Unfortunately, it is way worse than I thought it would be. But, I have no regrets for trying to create calm. Especially now, with the entire world shut down, without an end in sight, and so many of our loved ones getting sick, we need more than anything, to create calm. Because the fear of the unknown is its own infectious disease. And it's infecting all of us.

This past Friday night, the 2nd shabbos that shul was cancelled here, I slept fitfully. I woke up several times, once with chills and a rush of fear, worried that I had a fever...only to realize that someone jacked up my AC, and my room was freezing.

Actually, I had been waking up pretty much every night and every morning that entire week with immense fear: What if I was going to die? After all, I'm 51! A month ago I had been jokingly comparing myself to JLo, and now my brain was screaming, "What!? Are you dumb? You're not as young as you think you are!!" (Isn't it lovely how kind our self dialogue can be?)

One night I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe while trying to fall asleep. Of course the fight or flight part of my brain switched on, screaming: "OMG this is it, it's Corona!" Fortunately, the sane part of my brain sent a quick memo saying, "Hey! Yoohoo! Hello!...CALM THE F DOWN! You don't have fever, you feel fine, you're not coughing. This is just your friendly, everyday panic attack...RELAX!"

And, knowledge is power. A panic attack loses a lot of its force when you are aware of what you're dealing with, and you know you can defeat it. Which is why I decided to write this post and share my own personal tools and steps for getting through it. We have no idea how to defeat COVID-19, but we can definitely win the war against the evil PA! (panic attack)

So what exactly is a panic attack? (Or any anxiety or fear for that matter.) It's when our minds get stuck in a traumatic past or a terrible imagination of the future, and for all intents and purposes, it reacts as if whatever happened in the past or the terrible ways we imagine the future, are actually happening right now.

Once the fight or flight reaction begins, the body secretes a ton of adrenaline and cortisol. Now, this is great if we're ACTUALLY under real attack. But if it's...say...3 am, and we're safe in our beds, and all of these chemicals are being secreted because we remember what we watched on CNN, or we are making up stories of a terrible future...well, then, it's pretty much the worst feeling in the world.

The good news is, there are things you can do to calm down your parasympathetic nervous system in under 5 minutes. YES. This is a fact.

By now, most people know that taking deep breaths is the best way to calm down your brain and body. The problem with this, is that in a panicked state of mind, even while you're trying to take those breaths, it not only doesn't always feel like it's helping, but to some it may even cause them to feel worse, or hopeless, if the relief is not instant. Unless we have practiced this with at least some positive result, our brains give us a hard time, especially in a state of fight or flight, believing that nothing will help us at all. That is why panic attacks are so scary.

But you CAN get ahead of them!

Before we get to my how-to's, it's very important to integrate the following idea in a time of relative calm...say, like right now, while you're relaxing and reading this post:

It is scientifically proven that deep breathing...or simply slowing down and focussing on your breath, is the shortcut that will calm down your parasympathetic nervous system, reaching the part of your brain that's in fight or flight, way faster, and less energy-depleting than trying to rationalize away your fears.

This pre-existing knowledge is what Gedale Fenster, would call "da'as," or "da'at", which loosely means "a learned knowledge of helpful information," that helps us deal with our challenges in a positive way.

OK. So now that we all have integrated that important information, I'm going to go through the steps I personally take to get myself out of panic mode. These are the things that have helped me. But, everyone is different, so whatever feels right or good for you to try is great, and whatever doesn't, that's OK too. But, I figured if these powerful tools help me so much, why not share them? Right?

Also, I'd like to note that some of the tools I use I learned from the book: The 60 Second Fix by Regalena Melrose, Ph.D. If you guys have never heard of Somatic Experiencing, and suffer from anxiety, PTSD, or any trauma at all, this is an easy book you may want to read.

That being said, this is how I calm a middle of the night panic attack in under 5 minutes:

Step 1: Awareness

Let's say, I wake up, and as soon as my brain becomes aware, I feel it. That horrible flood of adrenaline and cortisol coursing through my body. The "monkey chatter" in my brain begins as if someone undid the floodgates of fearful and upsetting thoughts, and within a few seconds I know I'm at risk of getting washed away with them. At that very moment I simply become AWARE of what is going on and I define it without attaching anything dramatic to it: "This is just anxiety. My body is secreting chemicals that are causing me to feel this way."

Step 2: Deep Inhale

Once I have awareness, I have enough brain space to remind myself to begin taking deep breaths. I do not think, "Will this work?", and I do not worry about the technicalities or the how-tos. I just start inhaling deeply, because I already know this WILL begin to shutter the floodgates of fear.

Step 3: Focus Your Breath

Now I can put my focus on my breath. Inhale for 5, feel the breath go all the way down to the belly, hold for 3-5 seconds, exhale the breath all the way out for 8. Or, find your own pattern that feels calming to you.

Step 4: Somatic Anchoring

I can now control and direct my thoughts a bit more easily. At this point, I will anchor my feet down into my mattress, and/or focus on feeling the support and comfort of my mattress and pillow connecting to my body and head. This is part of Somatic Healing, and it works because it "anchors" you into the current moment with your focus on your current physical comforts.

Step 5: Affirmations

Once your focus is on a current comfort or support, you can start to say silently or out loud, "I am safe in this moment." or "I am healthy in this moment." or "I am grateful for the comfort of my bed." Or whatever other mantra you feel like saying that will continue to anchor you into the present, safe moment.

Step 6: Stay Present with Gratitude

You should be starting to feel a little better now. Continue with the breathing, the mantras and affirmations, and see if you can move your thoughts into gratitude for whatever is good in the current moment. The key is to stay anchored in the present as much as possible. If you get pulled back into "monkey brain" just refocus and start over. It's a practice like anything else, and it does get easier and more instinctive over time..

Step 7: Shift to Recovery

For me, sometimes I'll shift into meditation mode, get tired, and fall asleep. That's the best case scenario. But many times that doesn't work. Sometimes I need to get up and just accept that I'm not going to fall back asleep right away, but at least I'm calm enough to go do something distracting, or I'll talk to G-d and pray. But either way, I'm no longer panicking.

I hope these steps have helped you. If they seem difficult at first, or as if they are not working, just keep trying. It's like learning a new language, and before you know it, you will see that you CAN calm yourself down.

This entire experience is a huge reminder that we really have no control over anything, except how we respond to the craziness going on around us. And as Gedale Fenster says, "There is a great power in powerlessness." Our greatest fears and pain come from the illusion that we have any control at all, or that things "should" be a certain way. Once we give over all of our control to the one and only "Controller," and accept that what is happening, is for a reason that we cannot see, then we can just let it all go.

So keep the faith, keep on breathing, and remember, we're all in this together. Please share your ideas on how you're staying calm during this harrowing time via email, or on my Instagram page.

Sending calming thoughts,

xx

Sharon

Blogger/Certified Life Coach

For a confidential appointment via phone or FaceTime, email me.

Next up...What Are We Supposed To Be Doing Now??

A Chat With A Holistic Nutritionist You Definitely Want to Read

2020-02-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

Dear Readers:

If you already received this post via email, I apologize for the duplicate. We needed to fix some technical errors and repost. If you haven't yet read the post, I highly recommend you take the time to do so. Not only is it a fun chat with a good friend, it is chock full of really important information regarding holistic health and wellness. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

It was the first Shabbos in my new neighborhood in Boca Raton, and as I walked into shul, I noticed her right way. Tall and thin, with a huge, open smile radiating out to her adorable young daughter, I felt Henya's positive energy immediately and wondered if we'd be friends. And friends indeed we became.

We immediately connected over similar backgrounds, and cultural experiences. Our kids, who went though similar experiences as well, connected too. Over the next two and half years we shared thousands of WhatsApp and re-life conversations, meals together, countless bike rides including riding in Tour de Simcha together, joint creative projects, and some funny drunken 80's karaoke nights.

I often discussed health and nutrition with Henya, a Certified Holistic Nutritionist and ACE certified personal trainer, and would pay attention during our many conversations with our doctor friends. She always presented intelligent, and updated scientific data that made a lot of sense to me. Besides for being a fun friend, I grew to know her as a pretty smart chick when it came to holistic nutrition, wellness and even healthy culinary skills!

After years of trying everything and always struggling, I realized that if anyone could unlock the complex secret of how a woman of my age could possibly get rid of those increasing pounds, inflammation, and an annoying middle-age bloated belly, it was her!

So on this past New Year's Eve, with way too many tequila shots flowing through my veins, I asked her to please help me.

Now don't get me wrong. Up until that point, I had too much pride to "hire" Henya. I had been a self-educated, know-it-all dieter my entire adult life. Before I hit 45 I knew how to diet my way down to the weight I wanted to be, but it was mostly painful and unhealthy, physically, emotionally and mentally. And I was usually far from fit.

But after 45? Well, that was an entirely different story. I began to feel my age. I had less energy and my moods were out of control. And the weight gain wasn't just regular weight; it was a lot of bloat and inflammation. Often my face would be swollen in the morning and my belly would be round and protruding in the evening. And the worst part was that it seemingly had very little to do with how much I exercised (usually a lot), or how much I ate (usually not a lot).

No matter what I tried on my own, nothing worked for long. I just didn't understand how complicated it was to achieve and maintain that fine balance of health and wellness at my age. I had pretty much come to terms with the fact the I would never get even my old, imperfect, but better body back. Which is fine, I guess. Right? We're supposed to accept ourselves as we are. But, I'm a warrior against decline in aging, and I really didn't like that I wasn't feeling good inside and out. It was time to surrender my pride to the person who I knew would understand the many factors involved in getting, and staying healthy and youthful as I got older.

And those weren't the only things Henya understood. Although it may not be evident by the way she looks today, she has experienced her own journey and struggles the area of health and fitness, which is what led her to her career to begin with, as you will read below in our chat. I have seen for myself that she too has to work hard to stay fit and healthy and is completely empathetic to the various issues that many of us struggle with.

So that New Year's eve, Henya reluctantly agreed to work with me. (Reluctantly, only because she knows how much I loved to drink!)

Being silly New Year's Eve 2020

She warned me it would be a lot of hard work, and I would have to listen to everything she told me. I'd have to cut down on my alcohol to almost none (gasp!), take a whole bunch of vitamins and supplements, and I'd have to take a saliva hormone test.

But, I was ready and I committed!

Since then I have lost more than half my goal weight, but more than that, my inflammation is down and I'm starting to look good in pictures again. (You may even start seeing more of me on social media now ;)

The one month difference!

But mostly, I feel way more energetic, way less sad and lethargic, way more youthful, and I hardly ever get "hangry" or "cravy". And just this morning, I noticed my hair was actually thicker and shinier.

Writing this, I know it all sounds like an ad for some magic weight loss pill. But the truth is, this is far from a shallow post about just weight loss, and it's far from magic. Henya creates extremely fine tuned, custom programs specifically for each individual client's needs and issues, based on real data and the most recent research. And it's all holistic, healthy, and extremely "feel-good."

And yes, I DO have to work hard and be diligent and organized. I do have to avoid many foods and shop organic, non-gmo, and prepare my foods carefully. I have to avoid eating out and drinking too much alcohol. I have to swallow all of my supplements and watch my FitBit, and make sure I burn enough calories everyday.

One of Henya's delicious, easy salads. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

So, no, it's not a magic pill at all. It's science and hard work. But I would have no idea how to do all of that myself, even if I was a know-it-all dieter who had already gone through every diet on the plate. The body is a very complicated machine. I'm glad I'm friends with such a smart chick!

So I give you my dear friend, Henya Lazar!

Photo property of @RealHealthFit

Sharon: OK. Let's start with some fun facts about yourself so my readers can get to know you better!

Tell us a little about your background.

Henya: I was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, in the typical Jewish areas of Boro Park and Flatbush back in the 70's and 80's; but moved to Canada when I married my husband who is from Toronto. I lived there for about 20 years until I was pretty much a frozen block of ice and decided to move to Florida to thaw out! I'm obviously being overly dramatic but the cold really got to me.

S. I can totally relate! What do you like to do for fun?

H. I love to cook and bake healthy meals and desserts. The hard part is cleaning up the invariable tornado of a mess I make in the kitchen, but I recently started listening to audio books or podcasts at the same time which helps make the cleanup process easier.

I also love to bike ride outdoors, which I did in Toronto during the warmer months, but you got me on the real deal - a road bike - when you moved here, which I was always terrified to do! By promoting Tour de Simcha, you convinced me that a road bike wasn't as scary or as painful as I though it would be, and you were so right! People often assume it was the other way around, so I love sharing the real story. Anyway, my old hybrid bike is now sitting in my garage if anyone wants it.

TDS 2018

S. Yes! I love that we rode together in TDS! It's really cool that some sort of fitness inspiration came from me to you as opposed to the other way around. That makes me so proud. And you inspired me to get my FitBit and really up my ante when it comes to fitness on a daily basis.

I'm sure people often wonder what a nutritionist eats...what are some of your favorite foods?

H. I genuinely like all healthy food, but my favorites would have to be salmon nigiri or sushi rolls with salmon, avocado and green onion. I am also obsessed with dark chocolate covered almonds. I have such a weakness for dark chocolate covered anything: rice crisps, raisins, it doesn't really matter as long as it's crunchy (and organic of course!). Over the years, many well-meaning friends have misunderstood this chocolate love affair and bought me boxes of dark chocolate truffles as gifts...and I really don't like truffles at all. There is something about the texture, not to mention the additives and unhealthy ingredients. So, if you're reading this and at some point you bought me truffles - umm, I'm sorry? You're still an awesome friend, it's the thought that counts ;)

Henya's delicious, homemade chocolates. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

S. Haha! I really think people will love hearing about your weakness for chocolates! As you know, my chocolate is tequila. So if anyone wants to gift us...it's chocolate covered anything and tequila! No truffles :)

While we're on the subject of no-so-healthy choices, what are some of your favorite foods that you have given up?

H. Pizza and fries, although I wouldn't say I've given them up, just switched them over to healthier versions. I'll eat homemade gluten-free pizza with vegetables on occasion (I'm still trying to find kosher organic mozzarella!) And I'll make organic "fries" in an air fryer. But growing up I at a LOT of pizza and fries. There were a couple of famous pizza places in Flatbush where I would spend way too much of my babysitting money. The other thing I've given up, but at this point would taste really gross to me, are chocolate bars like Twix, KitKat, and believe it or not, Paskesz nougat bars. That one is a little embarrassing but what can I say, I used to have a serious sweet tooth for all kinds of unhealthy stuff.

S. Aaah, pizza and fries! Long lost friends :( I want your recipe for the healthy versions! I'm waiting with bated breath for you to write your cookbook.

H. Thanks for the vote of confidence, hopefully I'll get there someday!

S. What's something unexpected about you that would be surprising to most people?

H. People tend to think I am aloof in social situations, but the truth is I am kind of shy and awkward with people I'm not close with. It's gotten better over the years, but basically if you come over and talk to me I love it. It's much harder for me to make the first move. Although, I think I spoke to you first and introduced myself when I met you in shul! Another thing people find surprising and also hilarious is my terrible sense of direction...I could literally get lost going around the block.

S. I'm really glad that your came over to me! I remember us connecting right away...we even went to you for impromptu cholent, and I remember thinking, aah these people are so cool. The cholent wars began from the start!

H. Haha, we will let the people decide...but both our cholents are great, and I can say that without bragging because I don't make mine, my husband does! (Although, I did tell him what NOT to put in it!)

S. So yours is healthier! What else is new ;)

Tell us something that's on your bucket list.

H. Traveling to places like Spain, Italy, Greece, basically anywhere exotic that I haven't been to before, which is a lot of places! For now I am happy to live in Florida and go with my family to different beach destinations within driving distance.

S. Yes! Greece. One day we'll make it there :) And yes, we are so lucky we live in Florida.

H. Are we telling your readers that every Purim and Simchas Torah when you drink one too many tequilas you tell all your friends we are going to Greece and Steven is paying? Haha!

S. Well, I wasn't planning on it! But thanks for sharing ;)

If you could have lunch with one person dead or alive, who would it be?

H. Oh, this is a tough question. There are a few but the one who comes to mind right now while we are talking about fitness and health is Tony Horton - the creator of P90X. He revolutionized home based fitness programs and he just fascinates me as a person, a trainer and a businessman. I also find him pretty funny, and I'll have lunch with anyone who makes me laugh. Plus I know he would be happy to eat somewhere healthy! I would probably suggest Fuego Mundo in Georgia - we ate there on the way from Toronto to Florida and it was honestly the most incredible kosher healthy restaurant I've ever been to. They have grass fed meats and yucca fries. OK, now I'm hungry just thinking about it. Forget Tony Horton, you and I should go there!

S. I'm down! Did someone say road trip?? When are we leaving? But first...

Tony Horton and Atlanta's Fuego Mundo

...let's get down to business...The Real Health Business. Now that we have a better picture of you as a person, I'm sure everyone wants to hear about what you do professionally, and also learn more about holistic nutrition and wellness. With so much information out there in the health, nutrition, and wellness fields, it can all get confusing!

H. It definitely is confusing! I have an Honors BA (that's a Canadian distinction meaning a more rigorous undergrad program than a typical BA) in Kinesiology and Health Science. I am an Advanced Registered Holistic Nutritionist and Culinary Nutrition Expert, both of those are from Canada as well. I am also a Certified Personal Trainer, but I've moved a bit away from that these days and focus more on health and wellness.

Essentially my job is to help people live their lives in the most healthful way possible, including food choices and teaching how to cook healthy wholesome food, exercise, lifestyle habits such as quality sleep and getting rid of toxins from skin care and household products and even unnecessary medications.

Obviously there are no guarantees in life. We all know people who smoke and eat garbage and are fine, and also those who obsessively watch what they eat and exercise, but don't feel well. This is where things like genetics, how you deal with stress, and social factors come into play. That being said, I strongly believe that we have to try and do our part to make sure that we are doing things to improve our health as opposed to constantly being exposed to harmful products and habits. And this is a daily practice, moving upwards on what one of my mentors Josh Gitalis calls the "slope of health." Meaning, you aren't either completely healthy or completely unhealthy, but rather, on any given day, what choices are you making to move up or down the slope? This was a powerful lesson to me and one I try to implement with my clients.

S. I love that! It's kind of like the 2 steps forward, 1 step back concept. If we think in those terms we won't be hard on ourselves when we are not perfect.

So just to clarify, how does what you do set you apart from a general nutritionist?

H. That's a good question, because the term Nutritionist here in the U.S. is different than in Canada. For the most part, especially in some states like Florida, it means Registered Dietitian, which I am not, and I'm always very clear about that and the fact that I have no intention of becoming one. Registered Holistic Nutritionist as I mentioned, is a Canadian distinction that is either unknown or misunderstood here. While there is some overlap in both fields, we have a more holistic approach, and rely on quality vitamin and herbal supplements along with organic food wherever possible.

It falls under the category of alternative wellness and functional medicine, as opposed to following the American food guidelines and western medicine approach. You will never see a holistic nutritionist recommending splenda or artificial ingredients of any kind. We cannot wrap our collective heads around serving food dye and sugar filled jello in hospitals to sick patients!

S. I know! That's why what you do resonates so much with me personally. The holistic approach to wellness just makes so much sense. It's not only about "getting skinny" or taking meds. It's about a lifestyle, where being lean and fit is just happy side affect of living healthfully!

So, tell us, what got you interested in this field in the first place?

H. I was sick a lot as a teenager and into my early 20's. I had chronic headaches, debilitating digestive issues, eczema, got colds very frequently, and had severe anxiety as well. I had no intention of getting into this field at all. (I started college as a computer programming major!) At the time, I went from doctor to doctor and after all the tests came back normal, was either told my physical symptoms were "in my head" or that I needed to take different medications depending on what my symptoms of the day were. Nobody ever asked me what I ate or what time I went to sleep at night. If they did, they would have learned I was drinking 3 to 4 cups of coffee a day, eating tons of sugar, maybe a vegetable every other day and going to sleep around 1:30 am. Let that sink in for a minute...numerous doctors and nobody asked me what I was eating?

It was meeting with several holistic practitioners that changed all of that. My anxiety decreased by 80% simply by cutting out soda and caffeine...seems so obvious now, but back then I simply didn't make the connection. Probiotics and a change in diet drastically helped my gut health - I still get digestive discomfort, but only when I am not careful with what I eat, and for me that is different than it might be for someone else. I wanted to learn more and in turn help other people.

S. Thanks for sharing that! I feel like this is a really important factor in what you do. A lot of people don't realize what you have gone through personally, and I think this information makes you relatable and adds a certain comfort factor for your clients.

What are the main goals you have for your clients?

H. When a client tells me she feels better, has more energy, better skin, lost weight, whatever the specific issue was, it makes me happy!

S. I know! And it's totally different for every client. I was so excited to use the meal plan you created for me. So many people who want to get healthy and lose weight feel like there's nothing to eat. Tell us about how you come up with your original recipes.

H. I am really good at taking an unhealthy recipe and modifying the ingredients to make it good for you, wholesome and still taste great. I am not a chef, but I learned a tremendous amount about delicious, healthy recipes and cooking from the Academy of Culinary Nutrition.

S. Yes! You recently completed their program and became a Culinary Nutrition Expert and started giving cooking classes too. Which is great for the moms out there who are struggling with coming up with wholesome meal ideas that everyone in their families will love.

Henya sharing her skills at one of her recent cooking classes. Photo property of @RealHealthFit

Can you explain to us why it's so important to understand concepts like GMO and organic food, and why that's just as important to our health and fitness as how much food we eat?

H. The sheer number of pesticides, fungisides and GMOs used in growing food today is staggering. Add that to the toxins in beauty products and household cleaning products and it's no wonder people get sick so often. Our immune systems simply cannot handle it. We also have no clue of the long term effects of GMOs, and if you do the research, like in this article, there really is no benefit to them. While organic food isn't perfect, it does drastically lower the exposure to all of those things while also, in most cases, increasing the nutritional value of our food. For more on that, check out this amazing resource at the Environmental Working Group, a non-profit, no-partisan organization dedicated to protecting human health and the environment.

S. It's really scary if you think about it! But, what you taught me was instead of getting overwhelmed with all of it, to just start being more aware of the ingredients and information on packages, and slowly replace the unhealthy food and products as they run out. There's no need panic and throw everything out at once. Even small slow changes make a difference.

What is your favorite part about what you do?

H. Listening to people's health challenges and trying to figure out the best way to help.

S. You're really good at that! What is the worst part?

H. Not being able to reach people who are too afraid and/or find it too difficult or overwhelming to make the necessary changes to improve th quality of their life. Watching them go down the slope of health I talked about earlier, and knowing there is nothing I can say to convince them to try an alternative approach. That's hard, but I've learned that not everyone will agree with me or what I do, and that's OK.

S. Sure. I hear that.

What are some of your dreams and goals for the future of Real Health Fit?

H. I have a few and G-d willing I'll have enough hours in the day to implement them. My priority is and always will be my family, which B"H includes 4 kids, ages 12-19.

So, I'll keep those future goals under wraps for now except for one, which I am excited about us doing together! You're an exceptional Life Coach and people need to hear more from you, that's why I am happy we are working on an awesome Health and Wellness Retreat together.

S. Thank you! And yes, I am super excited about that. So, dear readers, stay posted for more on that soon, and Henya, thank you so much for being with us today. I hope this conversation will inspire more people to walk down the path of holistic health and nutrition.

TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HENYA, CONTACT HER HERE OR EMAIL HER AT INFO@REALHEALTHFIT.COM

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How To Build A Vessel

2020-01-19T16:15:00.002-05:00

Last week I took a little trip to New York to spend some quality time with some friends from my Jersey days. My talented Interior Designer friend, Margalit, recommended that we check out the newly refurbished Hudson Yards neighborhood on the West Side of Manhattan, featuring the recently opened "Vessel".

This was all very karmic to me, because I had just been considering writing about the Kabbalistic concept of "vessel building."

Although, I by no means claim to be an authority on the subject, (see more about this at Chabad.org,) I wanted to share what I have gleaned from listening to my daily classes by Gedale Fenster*, for over a year, in the most simple terms possible, as I understand them, and as they have helped me, in the hopes that they will also help you to convert your challenges, and even your traumas, into strong vessels for the receiving of light, joy, and meaning into your life.

So, with that being said, and with only the best and holy intentions, I ask Hashem to help me find the correct and pure words to share this information.

Here we go:

Let's start first with the world "Kabbala", which literally means "receiving." We are all searching for ways to live joyful and meaningful lives...to receive Hashem's infinite light. The problem is that if we are not prepared to receive, we end up missing the "flow", or even blocking it from coming into our lives.

Imagine you're in a desert and you're dying of thirst. All of the sudden it starts raining, so you quickly open your mouth to receive as much water as possible. But it's not enough. Your mouth alone is not enough to receive the amount of water you need. You will need to figure out how to create a vessel large enough to catch the rainwater and quench your thirst.

We are all "dying of thirst" when it comes to yearning to understand why we are here, why we have to go through what we're going through, and how to find meaning, and ultimately joy and satisfaction in our day to day existence.

The problem is, we are each plopped into this world without an adequate vessel. And as we grow up and live our lives, we have experiences that don't make sense and even hurt us. For most of us we carry this pain far into adulthood, leaving us tired, angry, sad, confused and lost. We busy ourselves with loads of meaningless distractions like empty entertainment, overindulgence of food, obsession with body, substances, bad relationships etc. just to survive. We are all so thirsty, many of us feeling depressed or anxious much of the time.

The good news is, at all times there is an abundance of light and goodness raining down upon us, and it is infinite and endless. After all it's from G-d! We just aren't able to perceive and receive it yet.

So how do we build that vessel big enough to receive the light and meaning we are all searching for?

Let's start at the beginning. Before Hashem created the world, His light was Ein Sof (endless), but the materialistic aspects of the universe were not able to receive all of it, and therefore, it shattered into "shards" that were spread all over the universe. Now, through this "breaking of the vessel" came about all the darkness that is also a part of our world. Including all of our challenges, pain and trauma.

So first, let's understand that this is the formula of creation. Through constriction and concealment comes light. And creation is happening at all times. Here are some examples:

Before a baby is born, it has to travel through an extremely painful constriction for both the mother and the baby.

Before a tree can grow, a seed has to go deep into the dark earth, break apart, and only then begin to grow.

Before a butterfly can roam freely, it has to almost die and then go through a period of constriction inside a cocoon.

And before we can live unconditionally joyous lives, full of meaning and without fear and anxiety, we all have to go through our own personal challenges, custom made just for us, offering the opportunity to choose between victimhood and misery, or getting up, brushing ourselves off, and building that vessel.

Get it?

Ready to get building? Here we go...

1. GRATITUE

Thank Hashem for everything! Even your biggest problems.

The first time I met with Gedale Fenster, he told me to thank Hashem for my problems, and focus on the good things that came out of them. I was like, "Wait a minute! I think I'm doing so great because I focus on the good stuff in my life." (But I was still crying about the things I wasn't so happy about.) But no! He told me to take it to the next level and actually work on gratitude for the bad stuff. And you know what? Soon I was able to see the things that had actually changed for the better because of the situation I was so miserable about.

Being grateful for your hardships may seem difficult in the beginning, but now you know that, like all good things that begin through concealment, your hardships may be the catalyst for a chain of events that is already bringing great light into your life. Maybe if you look hard enough you can already see it. Now you are beginning to build your vessel!

But how do you really know it will work? Well, that leads to the next step:

2. FAITH AND TRUST

Don't just have faith, have complete and utter trust that everything will work out. You need to start training your brain to give over every bit of fear and anxiety to G-d. Say confidently, and loudly, "I totally trust in You that you have a plan that I can't see right now. And I know it's for my best and I thank you for this!"

Try saying this when people ask you how you are, or how a certain situation is, "Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be, and I'm totally confidant everything is going to work out even better than I expect." Watch not only how your reality changes, but also the reaction of others.

The other day I said something similar to a friend, and she called me 15 minutes later to tell me she "had a spring in her step" because she decided to try the same attitude about a worry she was having and now she felt amazing. At the time, I had no clue I had an impact on her, as I was only trying to work on my own attitude. But do you see how these "good vibes" spread around, literally changing the world, in an instant of shared faith?

Still don't believe it? Fake it until you make it. Affirmations work!

Remember? Some guy decided he wanted to build a structure like nothing ever built before on the West Side of Manhattan, and now it exists! Imagine if he never opened his mouth because he didn't really believe it could happen!

Which leads to the next step in the formula:

3. PRAYER

For goodness sake, pray!

I know, I know, prayer is hard. Trust me, I avoided it for like 50 years! The way davening was taught to me personally was not conducive to authentic connection to G-d. But now that I realize that using our voice is one of the crucial steps to actually creating our realities, and that words have tremendous power, I decided to approach prayer differently. And it gets easier every day. Now, I can't live without it.

So here are my tips for getting started with prayer:

Start by taking a few minutes a day to just meditate on the idea of G-d being your biggest fan, and wanting desperately to have a relationship with you. Then just start talking to Him. Can't think of anything to say? How about, "Help!" That's a great start!

If you're ready to open a siddur. Start with something easy and doable, like the morning blessings. And just try to focus on the words that stand out for you. Like a word search puzzle. On most days I'll focus on words like Boruch (Blessed), Chesed (kindness) and Rachamim (mercy). As I say those words I focus on bringing down blessings, kindness, and mercy into the world and into my life. In this way, my prayer has a more meaningful and practical purpose and I can truly connect with G-d's infinite light and energy.

And, by now, I don't have to tell you what that's doing. Yup, it's building a vessel.

4. HUMILITY

The ego loves getting in the way and blocking out all of that gorgeous, delicious light that's flying towards you at all times. In the beginning it may feel a bit counter intuitive, but try humbling yourself when you're feeling at your worst. Just close your eyes and meditate on the ideas that everything is as it should be, that you're not really entitled to anything, so whatever you have is a bonus, that you don't really know everything and can't see the big picture, and that your self worth comes from G-d and no one else. That's called acceptance. And before you know it...woosh...you're at peace and fully unblocked. There you go...your vessel is now wide open!

And finally, when you feel ready, here is the ultimate step to completing your vessel:

5. PURPOSE

Use your pain to help others. Your unique experiences, growth and knowledge will help others in a way that no one else can. Which is exactly why I decided to write this post!

And don't get discouraged! These things take practice and time, and there will be tests along the way. But things will get better! Trust me on this :)

As far as our city day, Margalit and I had a great time catching up and discussing design, architecture and manifesting our dreams. We were both in awe of how all of this came out of architect Thomas Heatherwick and his colleagues' brains...building from the raw material of their imagination and then elevating it all into the creation of this unique landmark that would not only be beautiful to look at, but gather people together and take them "from nowhere to the sky."

Talk about elevating raw material for a higher purpose. Now, that's how you build a vessel.

-Sharon

Please let me know if you enjoyed this post, and if so please share the link with your friends! If you have any comments or suggestions you can leave a comment below on the blog or email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

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*Gedale Fenster speaks daily on Rabbi Nachman of Breslov's teachings. He sometimes throws in some Kabbalistic concepts. If you'd like to be added to the WhatsApp of his daily classes please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Victim or Victor?

2019-12-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

Life can be brutal at times. The question is not about which incidents happen throughout life, it's about what happens to you throughout life. Have your disappointments, losses, and even traumas turned you into a victim, or have you pulled yourself up, pushed on, and not only survived; but thrived and become a victor?

I first heard the line: "Be a victor not a victim," from Gedale Fenster. I really love the line because when all is said and done, when facing trials and tribulations, we ultimately have one choice or another of how to proceed down the road of life. And trust me, there really is only one path to redemption. The other paths will only land us at that brick wall of desperation, depression, anxiety and fear. I know this because, as an "explorer", I have traveled down some of those paths...the ones where you get angry at G-d, resentful towards people, unbelieving, untrusting, wary, weary, rebellious, and indifferent. And do you know what all those paths have in common? You end up smashing your head into a brick wall. And that hurts!

As difficult as it may seem at first, what is way less "hard", is to simply look inward and change yourself. Through the practice (and yes, it is a practice) of changing our thoughts, our attitudes, and our perceptions, we can literally "reframe" our lives, becoming stronger, wiser and happier with what we have. Which opens ourselves wide up to attracting not only the solutions we were so long seeking, but also, the hidden blessings lurking in the shadows of our "problems" that we weren't even able to previously see. Now doesn't that sound so much better than bashing our heads over and over again by trying to change the people around us, the uncontrollable circumstance surrounding us, and even G-d Himself.

So who's ready to go from victim to victor?

Let's start right now!

Below I'm going to go over 13 practical ways to achieve this new attitude, taken from the book, 13 Things Mentally Smart People Don't Do, by Amy Moran, which was the basis of Gedale Fenster's recent Wednesday night class.

Click to buy

Here we go:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

chabad.org

Believe me, you are not the only one with problems. Why is it that some people with really massive problems seem to be happy and have a great attitude, while others whine about even the smallest things? It's not because some people are stronger than others; it's because the former refuse to sit in self pity, while the latter bathe in it fully. When we feel sorry for ourselves we place our minds into a cycle of negative thinking based on our past and fearing our future, which magnetizes our worst fears and traumas, bringing them to life in every moment, way past the time they happened or before they may ever happen, missing all the beautiful present moments.

2. Stop blaming others.

The act of blaming others, or even allowing others to impact our moods, days, and lives, is basically handing over our power to other people and circumstances. Set boundaries and stop giving away your power! You get to decide what you allow to affect you. And if you don't like something, take responsibility, learn from it, and move on.

3. Don't be afraid of change.

Change is good. Life is continually changing, so just dive in and embrace it. Feels scary? Good! That means you're exercising your spiritual and mental growth muscles!

4. Stop trying to control the things you can't control.

If you can fix it, then by all means fix it. If you can't, then just pray and release it to G-d.

5. Stop trying to please everyone.

Oh, I used to be an expert at this one. Not at actually pleasing everyone, but trying to. It doesn't work. Be authentic, be kind, take care of yourself, and if people aren't happy with you, it's none of your business. (Unless, of course you actually did something wrong and hurt someone, then it's good to own it and apologize. But not when someone has an issue with you just "doing you". )

6. Stop being afraid to take risks.

Life is scary. Anything can happen. Which means, yes, anything CAN happen. So if you want something in your life, take the risk and make it happen!

7. Don't dwell on the past.

Why is it that we often find ourselves watching a never-ending loop of the movie of our past mistakes and traumas over and over? It's because that's where the Yetzer Horah (evil inclination) tries to trap us in order to stop us from living in the present moment, therefore preventing us from moving forward. Forget it. It's over. Move on. Every single day G-d re-creates the world for us...so leave the past where it belongs...in the past.

8. Stop repeating mistakes over and over expecting new results.

Mistakes are only mistakes if you don't learn from them. If it didn't work, learn from it and try something new.

9. Stop resenting other people's success.

At some point, we all experience jealousy, but it's soooo dangerous. The only thing envy does is create a blockage in our own "flow". How about next time the green monster sneaks up on us we try celebrating our friends' successes with them. Try sending someone you're jealous of a message saying you're so happy and inspired by them, and see how you feel and what happens. Your stuff has nothing to do with their stuff, and their stuff has nothing to do with your stuff. As Gedale Fenster always says, "Stay in your lane."

10. Don't give up after failure.

Those who avoid failure, avoid success. Failure is part of the process of growth and goal achievement. Don't take it personally! Embrace it, learn from it, and try again.

11. Don't fear time alone.

Time alone is golden. Make time every day to quiet your mind and just be alone with yourself. This is one my favorite ways to get unblocked and watch the creativity flow.

12. Don't feel entitled.

Around the time I was going through my "angry at G-d" phase, when I was starting to work on my Emuna (faith), I had an epiphany: Who ever promised me that my life would look the way I made it up in my head it should look like? The truth is, we are all only here on this earth for short while. We are simply guests. And whatever we get is a gift to be grateful for. And we certainly can't know or understand everything. So if you don't have it, it just means it's not for you right now. But that doesn't mean that tomorrow may be different. (See number 7 and 10.)

13. Don't expect immediate results.

In Judaism there is a metaphor about life being like a hallway. That's because we are always traveling through it. It's a moving process. And we can't always see all the millions of teeny miracles, details, curves and twists that create the journey that may or may not lead to the results we want. But we can trust in the process. Just keep moving forward. Don't give up. And make sure you enjoy the ride along the way!

So there you have it. I did NOT read the book, I just listened to the class, took some notes, and then added my own personal commentary. I hope these points help you. Try focusing on one of them a week (or month) and watch yourself live a victorious life every single day.

With loads of love,

Sharon

For private or group coaching please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

If you'd like to be added to Gedale Fenster's WhatsApp group for his daily classes, please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

My Services:

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Are you sick and tired of not feeling good about yourself? Do you have dreams that you just feel like you are having a hard time achieving? Do you feel blocked? Are you struggling with body image issues and want to finally feel beautiful? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you struggling with self-esteem, relationship issues or career issues? I'm available for phone and FaceTime consultations.

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Learn how to dress for your own beautiful, unique body and finally feel beautiful from the inside out. Or let me help you create the gowns of your dreams for your Simcha (wedding, bar/bat mitzvahs, events). Full Simcha concierge services available. Or, treat yourself to some personal shopping and/or a closet makeover where we create brand new outfits from what you already own. Custom packages available.

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I'm available for local and international events and speaking engagements.

Stay tuned for my upcoming business website: SharonLangertPrivateClient.com.

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

Adding Some Light (And White) To These Dark Days

2019-11-04T18:45:00.002-05:00

This is it.

The dark days are upon us.

For some people, changing the clocks is all about gaining extra time. But, for most women, it's actually that dreaded time of the year of dealing with cranky, over-stimulated kids getting off a bus or out of a carpool, after a long day, in the dark. But more than that, I want to acknowledge the disturbing symptoms that come from the decrease of natural Vitamin D, which ultimately may decrease the serotonin levels in the brain, sometimes leading to the very serious symptoms of S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) which is actually a very common disorder in this country. I have suffered it myself. And, I also know that, many of those not officially suffering from S.A.D., often are prone to feeling some type of sadness or lethargy at this time of year.

It's not just a coincidence. Or a flaw or deficit in our biological makeup. It's actually consistent with the energy of this time of year. It's Mar Cheshvon. The month of bitter darkness. A month when there are no holidays to celebrate, and a huge lack of light and sunshine. Nothing in Judaism...and in life, is a coincidence. In Kaballa we learn that the world consists of both light and darkness, abundant flow and constriction, and we are not going to always feel amazing and successful and confident and glorious. But we should also not wallow in darkness, sadness, depression or fear. The point is that both are emanating from the same source: Hashem. And when we can unify the darkness with the light we are able to reach an ideal balance in life.

So how do we get there? How do we get through and bring lightness into the dark? In this month's quote (see the sidebar of my blog), it says: "The darkness around us might somewhat light up, if we would first practice using the light we have in the place we are." Seek something positive, in those moments of darkness, and they won't seem so dark anymore.

I found a couple of my past blog posts that have addressed this exact issue. On October 28, 2012 I wrote this post about the darkness of this time of year:

"The darkest days of the year will soon be upon us, and I know for myself and many others, that these shorter days and their lack of sunlight can wreck havoc on our moods and energy levels. I've learned over the years, though, that sometimes you just have to go with it. Because honestly, trying to 'fight it' drains too much darn energy.

That's why I try to embrace that feeling of coziness that comes with the tendency to hibernate during this time of year. I make sure that during the day I get in some exercise, some friend time, and some me time. I try to eat super healthy and drink my vitamins (vitamin water zero with electrolytes does wonders for a cloudy brain). But no matter what I do, towards the end of the day, I'm literally ready to get into pajamas and get cozy at home.

And speaking of a cozy home...would you ever consider painting your walls black (or any dark color)? Well, I did...and I love it! Contrary to popular opinions, dark walls can expand your space and create a wonderfully rich and glamorously enveloping feeling that's perfect for nesting during this time of year.

I say, when the darkness arrives...go for darker, just do it glamorously. Here are some other ways to infuse your world with beautiful darkness...."see full post here.

Well, black is back! Not only on walls but in kitchens too!

Take a look at what's new in interior design:

Update your kitchen HERE. All Kitchen Photos are from Elements Of Style Blog

Photo Source. Shop similar PAINTING. Shop similar CHAIR.

Then, on November 2, 2016, I wrote: 5 Ways to Go From Dark To Cozy, where I give 5 tips on how to get through these dark days.

I still love what I wrote in that post:

"The time of the changing of the clocks is swiftly heading our way...how are we to deal with the dark days ahead?

Back when my kids were little, I dreaded this time of year. I've always been sensitive to lack of sunlight, and the end of the yom tovim and the changing of the clocks would mean those dreaded, dark, after school, but not yet bedtime periods, when I would turn on all the lights, blast music, and throw dance parties in the living room to keep my kids, but mostly myself, from going insane. Remember, this was way before social media, so we all felt pretty isolated and stir crazy. Eventually I would give in and put on a video or computer game and let the kids space out until it was time for bath and bed time. Maybe I would actually pick up the phone that was attached to a cord in the wall, and call a friend to chat while Walt Disney or Roller Coaster Tycoon would turn my kids into zombies for just a peaceful hour or so.

Getting involved with charities and school events really helped change my perception of those days. There were lots of meetings with like-minded creative women to attend, and phone calls to keep us busy during those hours when we were juggling the kids. It gave me a sense of purpose and camaraderie outside of being a stay-at-home mom. And slowly, for me, those dreary evenings turned into cozy ones, when the lights in the house glowed, the family bustling and busy.

As the kids got older and attended school full time, there was a security in knowing that from the end of the chagim and on, our lives would be structured and scheduled. Those dark days were a sign of that blissful stretch of routined life.

I still do get affected by our long winters and lack of sunlight, but that usually doesn't kick in until January, when I've pretty much had enough. Until then I relish in the coziness of autumn. Here are some of my favorite ways to take advantage of this time of year and turn these dark days into a warm and fun experience, as much as possible."

To read my 5 tips from back then in November of 2016, click HERE.

A lot has changed for me since 2012, and even 2016. I no longer have kids at home to take care of. I am older and wise enough to realize that this dark period is very short lived, and should be embraced for its coziness, and an opportunity to just get into bed early....(ahhh bliss!) Recently my moodiness probably has less to do with the change of the yearly clock, and more to do with the change of my lifetime clock. I am now smirking at how frustrated I used to get during these seemingly endless, dark days, with the seemingly never-ending tasks of raising kids.

But, oh, how it does end.

Just like that.

So put on that music. Dance with those kids. Get into bed with them and drink hot cocoa. Don't worry so much about your mess...or your weight. Drink more wine. Eat more chocolate. Embrace your curves. Tickle and hug the kids, and leave their faces and your kitchen a mess. Leave the load in the washer. Be imperfect. Let yourself cry a little. But then kiss your kids and laugh with them. And during the day, workout! Go to Soul Cycle. Take a yoga class. Get a massage. Take a luxurious nap. Paint a wall black.

It all goes by so fast.

Your babies will be adults in no time, telling you about how hard it is that they don't get enough sunlight. Just enjoy every moment you're alive.

Oh...and definitely go shopping!

Speaking of which, check out my new Amazon shop and go get yourself something fresh and white like winter white booties to brighten a drab, mostly black, winter wardrobe. (See more shoppable links below.) Here in Florida, white booties are a great way to pretend we are transitioning into a more winter-like wardrobe, even when we're complaining and shivering because it's only 75 degrees!

Photo Source

Wherever you live, black and white in the winter is divine!

Nothing is more classic than a black pencil skirt and a spectacular white blouse. Add a cute jack for warmth! Shop this look on my Amazon shop HERE.

A black and white graphic skirt looks great with an untucked blouse under a cropped black sweater. Knee high boots and dark sunnies complete the look.

Try a long sweater/coat combo over leggings for a sleek and comfy look. Shop this look on my Amazon shop HERE.

Shop More White Booties below:

So how do you cope with these darker days? Leave a comment below or send me an email. Would love to hear from you!

With loads of light and love,

Sharon

Services:

Life Coaching:

Fashion Consulting:

Events and Speaking:

I'm available for local and international events and speaking engagements.

Stay tuned for my upcoming business website: SharonLangertPrivateClient.com.

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Taking the Power Out of Sadness Plus Power Dressing

2019-10-26T20:50:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone!

Thanks for your amazing response to my last posts! I'm really psyched to be back here. Stay tuned for some great content, and thank you for your emails and comments. Keep 'em coming!

In response to a message I received from my last blog post: Yes! Although my goal is not for it to be the main emphasis in my newer content, I will still be posting fashion on this site. Staying true to my original format of combining spirituality, inspiration, design and fashion, I will try to end my posts with some fun fashion or design inspirations, as well shopping links...just like old times! How could I not!?

Now that the Holiday season is over, we're entering into a darker time, both literally and figuratively. I'm not going to lie. It's definitely easier for us Floridians at this time of year. But I remember clearly from all my years in New Jersey, when the days got shorter and the sky got darker, how difficult it could be to remain consistently positive. So I want to share some thoughts I had over Sukkot that helped me reframe that feeling of sadness that often tends to creep up.

It was erev Sukkot, and I was standing on the table in my daughter's Sukkah, helping her hang her gorgeous baby's-breath-in-mason-jars decorations. Besides for the chilling 40 degree temps, it should have been an iconic memory-making moment full of joy. And I knew that. But deep down inside of me was a pit of sadness just holding me back from experiencing the full joy of the moment. At the time I thought it was because none of my other kids were there this year.

Now, if you think this is going to be a post about the difficulties of empty nesting and getting older and all of that, then forget it. That's soooo boring. And anyway, I'm finding it to be surprisingly nice.

No, this is a post about the light-bulb moment I had when I realized that the feeling of sadness comes from a little vacuum inside of us that literally seeks and powers up on whatever external situation there may be to "feel sad" about. It's like a black hole that's constantly beckoning us and testing us as to what we will fill it with. In Judaism we call it the yetzer horah.

This all dawned on me when I thought back to the year before and realized I also felt a little sad before the holiday, for an entirely different reason. And then the year before that. And shockingly, I realized this pattern went back a long while. The aha moment was recognizing that I probably get sad before Holidays, because my brain is conditioned to do so at this point. And since, now that I knew it was coming from inside of me...a little dustbuster, whirring and seeking a reason, I could just unplug it from its power source (whatever circumstances there were to feel sad about, which if you're alive exist for everyone) and manually fill it up with lots of amazing goodies.

I made a mental note that I'm only going to be with my daughter and her family for one week and before I know it I will be back home, so I better enjoy every freaking second with my grandkids and enjoy watching and helping my daughter host like a champ! And so I did. And in the end, I had the best time, and was grateful that we had that precious one on one time, without worrying about my other kids being happy, getting along, or feeling left out.

I'm not saying we don't all have real reasons to feel sad. Or that we shouldn't feel our feelings. I'm just saying that we have a choice to give those feelings power, or unplug them and choose to enjoy the good stuff. We all have circumstances in our lives. Some are pleasant and some are not, but it's what we give our power to that grows inside of us and determines our days. Choose the pleasant ones to focus on and power yourself up with them, because then there will be no room for that energy sucking vacuum to seek and find a reason to place sadness inside of you.

Now that's power!

Givenchy ad Fall '19

Speaking of power, one of the top trends for this Fall is the oversized blazer, the perfect piece to add some structure and confidence to your outfit. I personally love the 80's vibe of the bold shoulder and oversized shape of today's blazer. And why not try it in a happy hue, like green. Great for adding some cheer to your day and building a creative outfit that's still conservative enough for the office.

Getting creative with a bold green blazer. Neiman Marcus, Town Center, Boca Raton, FL

Shop Below:

Have a great week!

Your comments are always welcome!

Sharon

Services:

Life Coaching:

Are you sick and tired of not feeling good about yourself? Do you have dreams that you just feel like you are having a hard time achieving? Do you feel blocked? Are you struggling with body image issues and want to finally feel beautiful? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you struggling with self-esteem, relationship issues or career issues? I'm available for phone and FaceTime consultations.

Fashion Consulting:

Learn how to dress for your own beautiful, unique body and finally feel beautiful from the inside out. Or let me help you create the gowns of your dreams for your Simcha (wedding, bar/bat mitzvahs, events). Full Simcha concierge services available. Or, treat yourself to some personal shopping and/or a closet makeover where we create brand new outfits from what you already own. Custom packages available.

Events and Speaking:

I'm available for local and international events and speaking engagements.

Stay tuned for my upcoming business website: SharonLangertPrivateClient.com.

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

My Journey from Ego to Self: The Story of My Year Away From Instagram Fame, Just in Time For Sukkot

2019-10-16T23:43:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone!

So, for those of you who subscribe by email, you have received my latest blog post that I wrote right after I deserted social media, explaining why I left. I published it now, as a prelude to this post. It's been 11 months since I stopped posting on my 40+K follower Fashionisha Instagram page. And 10 months since I DELETED that page, losing all of my photos and followers. If you look up "Fashionisha" on Instagram it is now owned by someone entirely new.

I just kinda disappeared. But it was a long time coming. If you guys want the details of why I left, you can read this post (the one I mentioned above) that I wrote back in the beginning of January of 2019, right after I deleted my page. But, today, I'm here for a totally different reason. Today I want to share with you what I've learned and discovered in this past year or so, being, for the most part, off of social media. It's been a journey of letting go of something that was a huge part of my life and identity for a long time, and what I've learned about detaching myself from the EGO and finding a healthy sense of SELF. And isn't that what Sukkot is all about? We leave the luxury of our homes for the meager and simple world of the Sukkah. A place where we find peace, humility, and connection to our innate value through the altruistic connection to our family and dependence on G-d alone.

My Sukkah Circa 2013

Do you guys want to know what it was like to let it all go? Here it is:

Let's begin on last January 1st, when I deleted my very popular page on Instagram. It went something like this:

Stage 1: Euphoria

The day I deleted my page I felt EUPHORIC. Yes, euphoric! I felt like I had done something HUGE. I remember I was training for the Miami 1/2 marathon, which in itself was pretty badass; and I was running down A1A, endorphins sweeping through my blood stream, sweat droplets flying backward into the hot air behind me, and thinking, "I'm free! I"m free!" But soon after....

Stage 2: Loss

I felt a MASSIVE LOSS. Stage 1 did NOT last very long. I was in major withdrawal. Generally, I don't have an addictive personality, although I do have my vices, but this....this felt like a huge hole. Anything and everything I did lost its value and meaning without posting it. When I went to the beach, I would think, "What's the point? I'm not going to post a story about it anyway." This stage was a huge wake up call to me about how much ego is involved in being an Instagram influencer and how addictive and unfulfilled any work that feeds the ego can be. I had to re-learn the art of actually living in real life, enjoying the precious moments in the here and now. Remember when we did that when we were like 4 or 5 years old? It's worth it to try to think back to that and taste a bit of that euphoria. If you're addicted to social media, you may not even be able to access that pure, blissful sense of SELF. But more on that later. Anyway, after a while, this happened:

Stage 3: Freedom

Not posting everything became delicious and freeing. Like, I didn't have that horrible pressure to post my outfits anymore. And to wrack my mind as to who I was going to bother to take my pictures. And to beat myself up because I was too nice to make sure my pictures were as perfect as all the other bloggers' who just seemed to be getting better and better (and younger and thinner and fancier and more "urbane" and thicker lipped and photoshopped...you get my drift?) It was true FREEDOM! But, addiction is hard, and I still felt loss, so then came the...

Stage 4: Self Righteousness

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS OK here is where I started getting judgmental of people that were always taking pictures and had to "document" everything. I relished spending time with friends and not having to prove to the world at large that I actually had friends. AHA moment right there. Those people that had to prove everything were so annoying! (Ouch. That had been me.) There was a lot of eye-rolls on my part in this phase. That's when I realized I had become one those poor, strange people that aren't on social media and live in the real world! That's what I used to think about people when they would say they never heard of my blog because they aren't on social media. (Poor me, my ego was crushed. Boohoo.) I would think poor them, they're missing an entire universe. When all along it was the the other way around.

Stage 5: Redemption

At some point during this journey, I started to change my answer when people asked me why I stopped posting. I started to say that it just got too big for me. That my "Fashionisha" Instagram page with my 40+K Instagram followers did not represent the real me and I didn't feel authentic or comfortable receiving stranger fans' ravings of me being "amazing" or a "role model"or their "style icon" or a "top influencer" (that word!) or even like their "best friend" (I never saw that person before in my life!) I know. this sounds a little bit pathetic (sucks for me, I got famous...boohoo), but after a while, too much ego, like sugar or alcohol, starts to make you feel really not well or healthy. And then when it's gone, you're in misery until you get some more again. And the cycle goes on. Because, at some point, I must have lost my SELF to EGO.

Honestly, this particular truth was the door that led me to my REDEMPTION...the ability to recognize and let go of my ego and fully embrace, accept and truly love my SELF. The me that is just me. The me that is a soul that is as brilliant as all the other shining souls in this world. You, me, her, him...we are are all imperfect. And we are all brilliant. And we don't need thousands of people to prove it either way.

Through a lot of introspection and work (living with that feeling of loss and freedom); and with the tremendous influence of Gedale Fenster's* classes, on emuna (faith) and Rabbi Nachman's teachings, I learned to discern the difference between acting out of ego vs. self. And this, my friends is what I came here to share with you. The way to feel full and satisfied and grateful in every moment of your life for no other reason than because Hashem decided He needs you here. That not 1 or 40K people can give that to you nor take that away from you, nor should you need or allow other people's opinions, or even your circumstances to define who you are. But that you are simply a precious, necessary soul in a world that is constantly flowing with blessings if you choose to open yourself up to them.

Here are some tell-tale signs that will help you navigate your life away from your ego (which is essentially your yetzer horah-the evil inclination) and, hopefully towards a place of SELF love, SELF worth, and SELF fulfillment. Let's do this while the new year is still new!

You will know you're in an unhealthy state of EGO when you feel the following:

Afraid
Insecure
Angry
Jealous
Envious
Resentful
Self Righteous
Holier Than Thou
Tight
Constricted
Anxious
Upset
Feeling small
Stuck
Paralyzed
Overly Emotional
Yelling
Hurt
Needy
Alone
Jealous
Blocked
Scared
Afraid of Rejection
Left Out
Forgotten

BEWARE! The ego is very sly. It will make you feel like you are RIGHT to take action on those feelings! To counteract this, dose yourself immediately with loads of SELF love, SELF respect, and SELF care! Remind yourself that you are awesome, worthy and enough without needing to hear it from others. Only YOU get to choose who or what defines you.

You will know you're in a healthy state of SELF when you feel the following:

Peaceful
Good Enough
Relaxed in the moment of what is
Grateful for all you have
Grateful for your challenges
Humble
Light
Free
Happy
Worthy
Being a winner by not having to win
Accepting of others and self
Loving of yourself
Loving of others
Mevater (when you "allow" others to have success or "win")
Giving
Sharing
Connected to the universal energy that connects us all
In a "WE" state, not a "ME" state
Non-competitive
Willing to give up something for peace because you want to and it makes you feel good
Like a winner without proof from anyone
Empathetic
Compassionate
Giving the benefit of the doubt.
Wishing well on competition.
Accepting there's enough for everybody
Understanding the infinity of G-d's blessings and by sharing you're opening your pipeline for receiving.
Rising above your ego and feeling damn good about it!
Accepting humbly that the ego sometimes gets you and it's OK to be imperfect.
Forgiving of yourself
Forgiving of others
Letting the ego go.
No guilt about doing what your soul is here to do!

Try to get yourself into a SELF or SOUL state as much as possible! Meditate on these concepts. Practice feeling them! You will learn the difference by the way you FEEL in your decisions and actions. (Light and happy is SOUL, tight and aggressive is EGO.)

We're right in the middle of a long Holiday season so these tools can really help you get through any intense situations that may arise.

How about this? Try to only take actions, make decisions, and speak when you feel you're in a safe space of healthy SELF. If you need a little time to get there, take the time! Knowing your inherent self worth is key to all of this!

There's nothing wrong with saying how you feel or standing up for what you believe in or asking for what you want and need. But first make sure you're in a healthy place of SELF (Meditate on these thoughts: I'm worthy, lovable, and good enough. Being imperfect is OK. The other person's reaction is from their own pain, etc.) as opposed to reacting in a highly emotional EGO state. Think about the difference between, "How dare you" or "Who do you think you are?" vs."This is what I need" or "I disagree with you and it's OK if we disagree." or "You're right. I made a mistake. But I'm allowed to make mistakes. Now, what can we do to rectify it?" Not only are you setting boundaries for how you should to be treated, but you will earn respect and get your message across clearly and without unnecessary drama. You be the anchor that calms the storm!

Remember: The ego never feels satisfied, but the self is satisfied right now with what it has.

If you'd like to learn more about these and lots of other tools for living a happy, calm, and peaceful life, please email me for your very own personal coaching appointment. You're worth it!

I'm so happy to be back here. I hope you are too. Stay tuned for more great posts!

Meanwhile, have a beautiful Sukkot holiday!

I can't wait to hear from you!

With loads of love,

Sharon

*For a personal invite to Gedale Fenster's WhatsApp group to listen to his daily classes, please contact me.

Services:

Life Coaching:

Are you sick and tired of not feeling good about yourself? Do you have dreams that you just feel like you are having a hard time achieving? Do you feel blocked? Are you struggling with body image issues and want to finally feel beautiful? Are you at a crossroads in your life? Are you struggling with self-esteem, relationship issues or career issues? I'm available for phone and FaceTime consultations.

Fashion Consulting:

Learn how to dress for your own beautiful, unique body and finally feel beautiful from the inside out. Or let me help you create the gowns of your dreams for your Simcha (wedding, bar/bat mitzvahs, events). Full Simcha concierge services available. Or, treat yourself to some personal shopping and/or a closet makeover where we create brand new outfits from what you already own. Custom packages available.

Events and Speaking:

I'm available for local and international events and speaking engagements.

Stay tuned for my upcoming business website: SharonLangertPrivateClient.com.

Meanwhile, feel free to contact me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Why I Took Myself Off Instagram

2019-10-10T23:17:00.001-04:00

Hey everyone. HAPPY NEW YEAR! (This post was written January 2019, but not published until October 2019.)

So I figured I kind of owe you guys an explanation as to why I just disappeared from posting on my Fashionisha pages on Instagram and Facebook. No, nobody hurt me, and there was seriously no drama whatsoever. (Sorry, if you were looking for a juicy story or something.) That's precisely why I didn't make any grand announcements of leaving (usually when Instagramers do that they last about a week and then are right back at it).

There are a few reasons why I left, and it wasn't a rash, emotional decision at all. As a matter of fact, this decision had been a long time coming.

Here we go:

Reason number 1: When I started Fashion-isha, it was a real blog. This blog. For those of you who are new at this game, blogging meant having an actual website where you created blog posts. You did research, you wrote, you created something to offer others. You had to have some meaningful content and some actual computer skills. And in the beginning, (10+ years ago before Instagram was even an embryo), I viewed myself as an editor...it was rarely about me! Blogging was a craft, and it didn't mean taking a million selfies, staging dramatic photo shoots, or doing a million stories about all the mundane errands in our lives. I have no idea when that became blogging, but when it did I already started contemplating getting out of that world. I felt that the craft that I, and so many other talented women who worked so hard to learn and create was being diluted with a bunch of smoke and mirrors all reflecting back to self, self, self. But I guess I felt like I had to stay current and went with the flow. I don't remember when exactly I got sucked into the whole posting selfies, and my outfits, but I remember I got way more likes and follows that way. So I got swept up into it. (See reason number 2 on the issue of ego.) But, the truth is, I never, ever felt comfortable doing that. Surprising? Well, that's the truth.

Reason number 2: The problem with ego, self-promotion, looking for honor, and vying for "the most"....whether it be likes, comments, love, money, or attention, is like a big black hole of never-ending need. There simply is never enough. I felt like the competitiveness, unadulterated methods of self-promoting, and petty jealousy have turned Instagram into a big circus replete with loads of ego. I personally wanted to return to the real world and practice being present and focusing on the little things in life that bring true contentment. Sure it feels great to do a great post and get loads of comments and love. Or be featured in a magazine, or on a larger page than yours. Or to receive loads of boxes in the mail to show off. But then the next day, if you don't have a strong sense of just being ok with the flawed imperfect you, you're back to square zero. I wanted to sit in square zero long enough to take my own advice and not need anything else to feel like I was in square 657,000. (And by the way, do you really think that people who have 657,000 followers are not struggling to reach 1 million? Like I said, with matters of ego, it's endless.)

Reason number 3: As much as people KNOW that Instagram is only a small glimpse of people's lives, (maybe only a few short minutes of day that has 1440 of them), it's still a trap for making people feel bad about themselves. And even if people on Instagram are trying to be good and positive and inspiring, human nature is such that, the way a person or their life or their talents or their family looks (and may not actually be), causes us to examine our own flaws and what we are lacking. And honestly, I just didn't want to be a contributor to that anymore. G-d forbid I should cause anyone to feel bad about themselves or their life because of me! (See reason number 5.) Especially since most of my followers have no idea about the struggles or problems I myself may have too.

Reason number 4: When I first started blogging, I was living in Lakewood, struggling with a level of modesty I felt I couldn't keep up with, and the conflict between loving fashion and dressing modestly, I wanted to create a happy place that offered fashion advice for the women who kept the laws of modesty and wanted to still feel pretty and stylish. A lot has happened in my life since then. My circumstances changed, my kids grew up and went their own unique ways, and I moved out of Lakewood, ending up in South Florida. I had been feeling that the essence of the original Fashion-isha was not something I could uphold any longer. And when Instagram came out and then blew up, it was all about how many selfies and personal stories you could post to get those followers. That was definitely not the essence of the original Fashion-isha. I truly would love to go back to the original way that I posted. Creating inspiring posts that aren't about me at all. So that's the direction I'm going in now, even if it means less likes and followers.

Reason number 5: If you're an ashkenazi modern-minded Jewish woman like me, you're definitely not going to like this one. But I was told by a very dear friend (a French-Moroccon Sefardic modern-minded woman) that the amount of ayin horah I must have is probably huge and it's a definite spiritual blocker. No, this was not the first time I've heard that, and believe me, every time I did in the past, I would get defensive and chalk it up to jealousy. And we Ashkanazi women don't believe in ayin horah anyway right? But the truth is, the more "modern-minded" I became; ie believing in the the law of attraction and that thoughts are powerful things that create our lives - the idea of ayin horah actually became way more believable to me. If there are people out there believing things about you that aren't even true (perfect body, perfect marriage, perfect children) and they are angry because of their own pain, and they are thinking and talking negative things about you, well, that's definitely putting bad stuff...call it energy, vibrations, bad angels... whatever... out into the world. There are things in this world we can't actually see with our eyes but are most definitely there. And hey, everyone needs an open passageway for the blessings of G-d. Who doesn't need help for something? I most definitely did not want to be a stumbling block for someone to feel bad or inadvertently cause someone else's pain, or be a cause for someone to feel bad about themselves, even if my intentions were essentially good. Cuz man, the energy just flows back and forth between us. Karma is a bitch.

So there you have it. But before I go, I have a disclaimer:

This decision was solely for ME, based on what I felt I needed for my own life and the future of Fashion-isha, whatever it may be. I, in no way, am making any judgments about anyone else who is out there on social media. I have many, many dear friends who are huge posters and I love them all very much. I would never make a blanket statement about social media as a whole for other people, for it is not my place to ever judge or put my own personal issues onto other people. I firmly believe that social media is an excellent place to promote a business if done properly. And I believe that even the most "out-there" perfect looking Instagram posters are truly good-hearted, kind people just trying to shine their own light onto the world. As was I. As I may one day be again. Who knows.

But for now, this is my journey.

And lastly, a note of gratitude to those of you who sent me messages, telling me that you miss my inspiration and realness and asking if everything is OK and where I've been, I appreciate every single one of you!

4 Fall18 Trends You Will Love

2018-08-12T21:53:00.003-04:00

This past Shabbos, one of my neighbors mentioned to me how lucky he felt that he has a famous fashion writer living across the street from him. I laughed at his comment, as I haven't officially blogged about fashion in a long time. But the truth is, it was a huge wake up call for me. He made me feel like Carrie Bradshaw for a moment!

You know how we sometimes forget what we're good at? Sometimes you just need a little reminder to wake you up and inspire you to do the things you love. And why does everything always have to be so deep and serious all the time?

So I decided to get back on the blog and create this fun Fall18 trends post, using some of my newfound photoshop skills. Besides for, and inspired by the first collage, I created 3 additional artsy collages featuring some of my favorite Fall trends, with personally curated shopable links directly below them.

I hope you enjoy the creativity and pieces that I picked for you. Just click on the items below each collage to shop!

For the girl with a little edge, why not try...

Photo from Vogue.co.uk

Click on each item below to shop:

50 Truths At 50

2018-07-09T19:53:00.000-04:00

Ah..coming back here to blog feels like home.

I decided for my BIG 5-0 I'm gonna give myself a present and write a real blog post, right here, where it all started (way before Instagram was even an embryonic thought in some computer geek's brain, btw.)

I feel like over the past few years, diluted versions of "blogging" via social media have taken over the REAL art of blogging. But babes...this is where the real shiz happens. This is where I open up my heart and let the words pour out of my fingertips fo' real!

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

I'm not going to lie, the idea of turning 50 has been a bit (ok, a LOT) daunting. I'm just not one of those people who goes easily into the night, without a fight. Especially when that night consists of realizing your life is not the pretty picture you assumed it would be when you were 20 or 30. (Don't worry, there are other pretty, albeit different pictures. See #46.) Or watching yourself age slowly as your belly ever expands. (See #29.) Or not being able to see or hear as well as you used to ("What's that honey??") and you find yourself actually squinting and fumbling like a real life older person. Gasp! (Tip: Buy stock in reading glasses. No matter how many pairs one has, they can never be found.) I could go on...

But there's a bright side. There are loads of bright sides actually. The main one being that I'm still here. What a blessing for real! B'H for 1/2 freakin' century. But also, that I've been through some really tough times and am still standing. When you've faced down, and survived some of your worst fears, the world opens up and the little baby monsters that used to keep you shivering under your covers become easy-peasy to ace. Like all that painful insecurity and self-loathing stuff. Honey...at my age, there's no room for that, and I can be and say whatever the hell I want without a care in the world...so here I am. It's been a freakin' journey, and I've learned a ton of stuff on the way. Ready or not, here are my 50 truths at 50:

On Self Love and Relationships

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

1. Do whatever it is you really want to do. You don't need anyone's approval to live your life the way you want.

2. Make a list of things you love to do and do at least one a day. Do not wait for other people to do things with, to do the things you love. (Read Melissa Ambrosini's Mastering Your Mean Girl.)

3. Spending time with yourself is awesome. It's not pathetic, it just means you're the best person to spend your time with.

4. So many of the things you believe, that are holding you back and not serving you, were just other people's opinions put in your head at an early age. Create your own truths that work for you, and let those false truths (all the criticisms and "cant's") fly away.

5. People WILL talk about you behind your back. So what?! Just live your life and be the best you, flaws and all. What they say doesn't matter one bit to your life. People who are known to gossip are also known to be untrustworthy in what they say.

6. Before you gossip, think about the negative energy you're putting into the world. Karma's a bitch.

7. If someone tells you you're beautiful, believe it.

8. Remember, the things you hate the most about your body, may be the things someone else is dying for. Sometimes, literally.

9. Be brave and face your ugliest truths with honesty. Then go ahead and love yourself anyway. Watch your energy clear up enough to actually make those changes you want. (Credit: Blimi Kaler/Limore Atelier)

10. Love does not mean sacrificing yourself for someone who will never be happy with you. If someone is never happy with you, remove yourself from the relationship, they don't deserve you.

11. If you're in a toxic relationship that you cannot easily extract yourself from, teach that person how to treat you by setting boundaries. Boundaries are not walls, they're how much or how little you allow a person to affect and have power over you and your feeling of self worth.

12. Hurt people hurt people. If someone hurts you, try to think what kind of pain they may be going through, then, take a risk, make yourself vulnerable, and tell them how YOU feel.

13. Do not attack or label the person who hurt you with hurtful words, thereby perpetuating the cycle of negativity.

14. There is no "always" or "never" in relationships, so don't use those words.

15. Popularity is overrated. It is better to have a few good friends than a ton of bad ones.

16. Don't NOT do things for yourself because you're afraid people will be jealous of you. On the other hand do NOT do things just to make people jealous of you. UGH! (See #18)

17. Regardless of what you do or don't do, people WILL be jealous of you. It's their test not yours.

18. We all have an inner compass. If something makes you feel good in a devilish, powerful way, it most probably is coming from the ego. Best not to do it. If something makes you feel good in a spiritual-this-is-freakin-awesome-best-feeling-in-the-world-way, DO IT and do it a lot! (Example for me: Tour de Simcha)

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

19. The things that make you sick about yourself, the ones you try to hide from the world, may be the very things that someone worthy of you will absolutely love about you. Our self loathing and suffering is extremely subjective and based on the things we went through as a child. So ease up on yourself baby, they're not as bad as you think they are.

20. Do not love to be loved. Do not bend yourself and your life into a pretzel to make everyone love you...trust me I tried that for years with disastrous results. (You end up attracting the most unhealthy people in your life who suck you dry with guilt trips galore, and you end up neglecting and hurting the very people who truly love you and are most important.)

21. Just love your own damn self already and then the good people will fly into your life and love you exactly the way you are.

On Success

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

22. If you pursue success, inevitably someone will be jealous and try to discourage you. Their opinion has no place in your journey. But DO always generously give credit where credit is due.

23. If you feel threatened by or jealous of someone, intentionally go out of your way to help them and send them good vibes and wish them success; this is a hard one, but you will watch your world turn upside down for the better.

24. The only competition you should have is with yourself. Everyone in the world can try to copy you, but no-one can ever BE you. Put yourself and your passions into whatever you do, be authentic, don't copy anyone else, and watch yourself soar.

25. You're just as worthy and capable of making money as anyone else. Kiss your money and thank Hashem when you receive it, and kiss your credit cards and thank Hashem when you spend it. You attract more of the things you actively love. (Read Rohnda Byrne's The Secret.)

26. If something is blocking you from doing what you want to do, try to find the root fear that's holding you back and let it go. The word impossible is just short for "I'm possible." (See #4)

27. Sometimes we like the idea of doing something but deep down we don't really want to do it. If you're not getting to something, maybe you don't really want it? Be honest and be ok with the answer.

28. Ask a good friend how they and others see you positively, and then write that down and read it when you don't see yourself in a positive light.

On Fitness and Health

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

29. Learn to love you body. Right here. Right now. Because...

30. No matter what you do you will never have anyone else's body. You can only have a better version of your own.

31. There is only one diet truth: Eat less calories than you burn. Do it 6 days a week. And be very, very patient. (Get a fitbit to see how many calories you burn a day.) (Credit: Henya Lazar/RealHealthFit)

32. Fad diets don't work in the long haul.

33. Eat a hearty breakfast every day with at least 15 grams of protein.

34. Carbs are not the devil. Eat healthy ones for energy. Some carbs that I have eaten in moderation while losing weight and feeling great are Ezekiel bread, rice cakes, corn cakes, brown rice, sweet potato, quinoa, chickpeas, lentils, beans.

35. Do NOT starve yourself ever. It gives you bad breath and turns you into a bitch, and you will end up eating more than you would have if you would have just fed your body the right way.

36. If you starve yourself to feel powerful, that's an eating disorder. Get help ASAP. You're not better because you're skinny and frail from starving yourself. The hard truth is that something is broken inside you and you should get help to fix it. You deserve to nourish your body and love it unconditionally.

37. The way most bodies look in the media (including social media) is not real! Don't buy into it. (Even people who don't use filters can look thinner or better with certain angles or poses...trust me on this one.) So just save yourself the misery and love yourself right here, right now.

38. You will NOT lose weight from exercising if you don't make changes in what you eat.

39. Exercise may not be the answer to weight loss, but it will most definitely cure mild depression temporarily. At minimum, walk at least 30 minutes a day. As a matter of fact, walking for one hour burns almost as many calories and is better for your body than running for 30 min. (Get a fitbit to motivate you to get those steps in, and watch your calories burn, baby burn.)

40. There is no shame in Botox and Juviderm. If you want to do Lipo, do it. Or don't. Some people are more tolerant to aging and imperfections. Do whatever makes you happy. It's a personal choice and it's no one's business but your own. Don't judge either way.

41. Put on sunscreen and get into the sun as much as possible.

On Spirituality, Pain, and Suffering

Daniella Photography. Do not use photo without permission.

42. Let go and let God..seriously, that's the only control we have over anything. Give it up to HIM.

43. Modesty in dress is not the be all and end all in religion. It may be the right thing to do, but it does more harm than good when the person who's dressed modestly uses it as a tool to hurt others. Judging, talking about, or humiliating people who dress less modestly is a huge chillul Hashem and destroys any motivation in that individual to actually take on dressing more modestly. Everyone has their own personal stories and reasons for doing things.

44. Inspire others by truly loving everyone and being a light for others to follow.

45. It may not always feel this way, but Hashem loves you more than you love yourself.

46. No-one ever promised you things would turn out the way you painted that picture in your head. When they don't, try to repaint your picture a different way and be ok with it. Stick with real people, not people who pretend that everything is perfect and that you're only worthy if your home, life, family, looks a certain way.

47. Resisting what is, is the root cause of most pain. Acceptance with love is the pill. (See #42 and #45)

48. This applies to physical pain too. When something in your body hurts, don't fight it. Instead try to visualize the feeling and "listen" to what your pain is telling you. There's always an emotional message in physical pain. Send the part of you body that's hurting some love and encouragement. Tell it it's healthy and strong and thank it for sending you the message. Give it permission to relax and feel better. (For more on this google Dr. Sarno and Louise Hayes.)

49. Just because other people's problems seem less tragic to you doesn't mean they don't feel just as tragic and painful to them. The causes may be different, but we all have our fair share of pain. (Do not let appearances fool you!) Listen to others with empathy to create camaraderie and healing for all.

50. The grass may actually be greener on the other side, and if you can get there, great. But you may lose out...because if you nurture your own grass, yours may end up being the greenest of all.

Here's to 70 more...why the hell not!?

With loads of love,

Sharon

Credits:

Photography by Daniella Photography. Please do not re-use photos without permission. Follow on Instagram and contact at daniellaphotography98@gmail.com for photo shoots in South Florida and New York.

Top: Junees/Hair: Sary Wigs/Earrings: Bitz of Glitz

The 4 Essential Rules for Social Media Success and Happiness

2018-01-06T19:58:00.001-05:00

It's a grey and chilly day by South Florida standards. As I sit in a Hollywood Starbucks nursing my skim-one-pump-chestnut praline latte (I'm on a low fat diet now...but that's for a different post), I wonder why, oh why, I am so creatively blocked.

It feels like I've reached something akin to a seven year itch in my once fiery hot relationship with blogging. It's been this way for a while now. Oh sure, I have bursts of inspiration, usually in those twilight moments when I'm just waking up, when life hasn't really smacked me fully in the face yet. Or on Shabbos when, for some reason, my creativity just oozes out of me, maybe because there's no pressure to actually do anything, and I can just let my thoughts flow freely.

But then, despite how many times I'll put my post ideas into my calendar, create a whiteboard with a blogging schedule, or sit in those coffee shops with my laptop (usually closed while I whittle away my working time scrolling through the black hole that social media has become), I just don't do it.

Is it fear? Is it boredom? Is it part of a midlife existential crisis? Maybe it's just the way I've began to feel around social media.

Who knows.

I've recently heard myself tell people that I'm getting sick of myself on social media...yet every time I think about leaving my no-longer-passionate relationship with blogging...just calling it quits...I'll get one of those awesome messages about how I've improved someone's day with my words of inspiration. I've been doing this for 7 years! It would be a great loss to just walk away.

On a bad day, Instagram feels to me like an overcrowded, unoriginal, ego-driven, ultra-competitive, fomo fostering, soul sucking, time wasting, black hole of overly edited faux realities. Sometimes it feels like an unhealthy addiction of racing, racing, racing for those numbers, fans, and likes, of which there are never, ever, ever going to be enough. Yet we just cannot rip our eyeballs away from seeing who's doing what at every moment of the day so we know exactly how we are not having enough fun, skinny enough, fashionable enough, talented enough, good enough at taking pictures, or happy enough in our lives.

But maybe I'm just being overly dramatic.

Because on a good day, Instagram is a place full of superb talent, creativity, friendship, connection, opportunities, love, and inspiration. And it's the best shopping and idea mall out there.

Like everything else in life, it's all about perspective.

In this era of the masses being on Instagram and everyone being a "blogger," I've been doing some real soul searching about where I want to go with Fashion-isha in 2018, and how to make it a good day, every day, in the blogging and social media world.

I'm probably not the only one who feels this way, and since so many of you are on Instagram and trying to run your businesses and build your pages, I decided to delve a little bit more into this topic and ask a few friends who are pretty successful on social media, to share their perspectives and tips, on keeping Instagram a happy, productive and inspiring place for all of us.

1. Be Your Only Competition

"I'm my own competition, I don't feel like I'm competing with anyone else but myself. I want more followers because I want to be the best at what I do. I want more likes because I want my current post to be better than the last one. I'm lucky in the sense that I never felt pressure from the success of other people's accounts, but rather I was inspired by them. I think, "If she can reach a million, then I can too!" Those things only make me work harder. It's important to have a healthy self esteem in this industry or it can be tough!" -Esther Berg @estherandsasha 254K followers

2. Foster a Relationship With Your Followers

"My goal with my platform has always been to inspire others. The larger the following, hopefully the larger the reach of inspiration. That being said, having a loyal, engaged audience is paramount. Engagement, in my opinion, is much more important than that large number at the top of one’s page. Engagement is where the relationship lies between influencer and follower. Without that, what is the point really?

It is hard not to get caught up in the numbers obsession. Sometimes I feel like I’m back in high school, studying for that perfect 100 on a test. What photo will get regrammed? Which caption will motivate people to comment? Which hashtag will land me on the “explore” page? When I find myself asking these questions I feel torn. As a full time blogger with bills to pay, I have to think with my business head. Growing my audience does increase my income because brand partnerships pay proportionate to one’s following. However, on a personal level, I started this venture out of passion. If I don’t feel personally fulfilled and authentic to my audience, I can’t sleep at night.

I think the ultimate goal when producing content is stay true to oneself while still maintaining a shrewd business sense of what one’s audience will connect with. When you do that, there is nobody to compete with. Nobody can replace you in the relationship between you and your followers." - Elizabeth Savetsky @excessoriesexpert 140K followers

3. Believe in Yourself and Celebrate Every Milestone

"When people ask me, "Don't you feel great about your success?" my first thought is, "Success??" When outsiders see social media their first thoughts are: glamour, perfection and numbers. However, the reality is every perfect picture is accompanied by many more non-perfect pictures, at least an hour of doing hair and makeup, and spending too much time picking out what I'm going to wear for just one picture. No amount of followers ever feels enough, we always want and need more numbers. But although I don't always feel "full" on social media, what I do always feel is fulfillment.

Every time I hit another milestone whether it be a higher number of followers, another big brand that I'm collaborating with or another amazing photoshoot, I feel as though I've climbed another step on the ladder. I may not have 200k or 1M followers but what I do know is my impressions. Engagement and feedback from companies prove that I am as strong as any of those and it was only me pushing myself and ignoring other peoples numbers and other externals factors that got me to where I am. As long as you believe in yourself and push I believe you will succeed." - Eliana Sherman @EishesStyle 59.7K followers

4. Stay Genuine and Authentic

"I personally feel that Instagram makes you FEEL that numbers is the name of the game. We all want to see a big number, and there’s no shame in that, because if we have a message to share then the more numbers means the more we are influencing (or selling!). But if you focus on that alone, you’ll lose your actual magic and end up doing things that sell your soul. Which is the opposite of what your followers want.

If you’re a blogger or business with a meaningful message or even just sharing your life, focus on being real and giving your followers good genuine unfiltered content, and not only will the numbers naturally grow because people will appreciate the authenticity, but you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll have real genuine fans — not just numbers. Focus on engagement: relationships will help your end goal, and will always be more important than a headcount." - Mimi Hecht @mimumaxi 37.1K followers

As for me, just writing this post has made me realize that the minute I start comparing or competing, obsessing over numbers, or trying to be something I'm not because I'm not feeling great about myself, it becomes a really bad day on social media. I hope that by sharing this, you will see that there is always a real and vulnerable person behind the Instagram lens, and if we stay focused on shining our own unique light, offering something of value to our followers, giving ourselves loads of love and acceptance, and then supporting and engaging others with love, Instagram will feel like a way happier place to be. And that's what I plan on doing with Fashion-isha in 2018!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Before you go...Please take this poll. Email me with your answer!

To be considered a successful blogger, you need to:

1. Have a lot of followers.

2. Make a lot of money.

3. Post content that you're passionate about.

4. All of the above.

Click HERE to submit your answer. Thanks!

Will be sharing results on social media soon!
_________________________________________________________________________________

Until next time..

With loads of love,

xx

Sharon

An Empowering Chanukah Interview With the Women of 'Between Carpools'

2017-12-17T08:13:00.001-05:00

Happy Chanukah!

Meet Leah, Renee, Victoria, Shani, and Esti...the women of Between Carpools..the ones who empowered themselves to create a place that empowers all of us to live our Jewish lifestyle to the fullest, with taste, ease, practicality, and style.

"Between Carpools was born when five women got together for brunch around a table. On the table, there was this cheeseboard and lots of notebooks and freshly sharpened pencils...They wanted a place where Jewish women like themselves could feel at home and find kosher content that’s relevant to their daily lives...Between Carpools is the lifestyle site and app that speaks to the busy Jewish woman...It’s all things that make life easier for the Jewish woman..."

For this Chanukah, the Between Carpools squad and I have teamed up to present you with this rare interview, full of insights, inspiration, and loads more; like cool party and game ideas, plus easy recipes for us last minuters...and lots of wisdom to keep things sane, fun and fabulous, right until the end of Chanukah, and throughout the coming year.

So go grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the conversation, check out the links, get inspired, and get empowered!

with

Fashionisha: How did you guys meet and when did you decide to pull together your resources and create Between Carpools?

Esti: I think the first time I met Leah was actually when I was taking pictures of her kids! She was working in the food magazine world at the time and we briefly discussed food photography. Years later I worked with Renee and Victoria while photographing food for magazines. And Shaindy and I met while we were both doing some work for Ladida, a local childrens’ boutique. But Leah was really the one who pulled all this together. She’s the glue that holds us together and keeps us moving forward.

Leah: Victoria and I met over the phone when she called to interview me for an article about mixers in January 2010. Renee was our winner in our contest “The next Whisk food star,” then I found out she lives around the corner from me and is related to my husband. Esti, as she said, and Shaindy and I have kids in the same class.

Renee: I knew Leah, Victoria and Esti pretty well through Ami and other projects. Shaindy was introduced to me by Leah and once we got together everything just fell into place. We clicked immediately and realized we had a great team of talent, right here.

Shaindy: I’ve crossed paths with everyone on the team before but when Leah called me to discuss this project - I have to admit it was getting to work with these amazing woman that got me to even consider joining this crazy adventure we call Between Carpools.

F. So amazing and inspiring! What would you say sets Between Carpools apart from other websites?

Leah: Between Carpools is a place for Jewish women to find life hacks, tips, quick recipes, and inspiration for our busy lives. We’re about sharing our experiences and helping each other learn from each other on how to create a warm atmosphere in the home, use our creative side, and be there for each other in a positive manner. We all get how hectic our lives are, but pretty things, new dinner ideas, and hacks just make the ride so much more enjoyable. Our goal is to always stay authentic and post things we truly love and what we find works.

Renee: I find it very inspiring when I see other women loving the website because it has helped them with life's little challenges like "What do I cook for dinner today" or "How to treat a stubborn diaper rash." This reminds me that Between Carpools is here for every woman, whatever her challenge may be. Like a big sister, but in your pocket, if you will. That is my favorite way of describing Between Carpools.

Shaindy: From the beginning, I was inspired because I saw a vision and a niche that Between Carpools could fill. Recipe sites--there are plenty--same for lifestyle tips. But what I felt was missing was the combination of pretty, practical, and functionary. If our content was going to be amazing AND visually pleasing it is going to fill a niche in the frum world that no one has yet done.

F. We all know that success takes a lot of time and hard work, and results come from a lot of trial and error, and even mistakes and failure. Can you share with us any specific bumps in the road that felt like a big deal but ended up turning out ok?

Victoria: I can’t remember any bumps because I don’t view bumps as bumps. It’s just Hashem steering you in another direction. I remember the first day Leah told me that we were going to write the cookbook Passover Made Easy. I remember thinking, “There’s no way I can do this, I have absolutely no time.” I didn’t tell her what I was thinking, but I was going to tell her that I can’t take on the project. The next day, one of my clients (not in the food world) fired me. I was very involved in food writing at the time and couldn’t give their project the right focus. When that happened, I saw right away, “Now I can write the cookbook!” Imagine if I kept that job? I might have never have written books. Sometimes it’s obvious but sometimes it’s not. You just have to trust.

Renee: Bumps in the road are what make our creative juices flow. When you get stuck with something that's when we come up with the best and most creative ideas. Bumps force you to think out of the box.

Shaindy: As with any startup, there’s always a learning curve. Our team has always shared this amazing "optimistic we can do this” attitude, but at some point after some small hiccups along the way we stepped back and realized we can benefit from outside help to take care of things like site security, site speed, sales, extra content or anything that can free up our time to allow us to focus on what we each do best.

F. I know for me, one of my favorite things about blogging is being able to connect with all the amazing women in our Jewish blogging network. How has creating Between Carpools affected your relationships amongst each other and other bloggers?

Leah: I always say that I would never meet most of the food bloggers if not for what we do. I’ve made some amazing friends and friendships over the years. How likely could I have connected with Jewish woman in different states or countries if not for blogging? The best part for me is having friends that share my passion, who I can message and discuss things like the best way to let a dough rise. My friends in real life would have no idea why I’m so excited about these types of things. It’s just some dough, after all.

F. I totally get that. Being a "Momtrepreneur" is very in vogue now. Do you find that for us- Jewish women with large families that are a priority-it's more difficult to do it all and find the balance?

Victoria: I don’t think it’s a conflict. To the contrary, being in control of your own schedule is more conducive to being there for your kids. We might not have traditional work hours (these days, for me it’s 10 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. til whenever), but it works. I personally don’t consider myself a boss or an entrepreneur, but I feel very fortunate to have a career where I can be there for my kids on days they’re off of school, or even if they simply forget their lunch at home. Let’s make one thing clear. Working women are not “less” there for their families. Perhaps overwhelmed women get distracted, but any woman, working or not working, can feel overwhelmed. Hashem gives you more koach when you have more responsibility. You have to learn to use that koach for the right things.

Leah: I think we’re all on the same page. Our family comes first. Once that’s clear every decision is based on that. We may do extreme things, like work at 1 am, but we’re fully there the hours our family needs us. Most of the times that means that we don’t leave the house during the afternoons and evening. We miss out on lots of fun networking events, free restaurant tastings and other cool opportunities. But no regrets. In spite of that we’ve all come extremely far in our talents with sticking to our family first rules.

F. Hmm FOMO! We all have it. There's no way to do every networking thing, but, like you said, no regrets. We can still pursue our goals and achieve success without sacrificing what's important. What are some of your favorite tips for making life flow a little smoother while juggling both a business and home?

Victoria: I have a post on Between Carpools called, “Working Moms Alert: How to Get It All Done and Not Be Overwhelmed.” Leah also wrote a post “10 Things to Say to Yourself When You’re Overwhelmed.” She asked lots of people for their tactics when writing that. Those two posts really empower women and will change your perspective on juggling. Sure, it’s harder to juggle more balls, but imagine the person who doesn’t have balls? Lots of kids and parnasah opportunities are a blessing.

Renee: Lists! Lists! Lists! We have a few downloadable printouts to help you with just that, come erev Shabbos or erev chag.

Shaindy: Working on Between Carpools with some of the most organized gurus out there has kind of helped me to improve in this very area. The behind the scene process of how an idea becomes a post - which requires so much work, from idea to conception to drawing out a calender to writing to editing to shooting it then posting - and don’t forget all the meetings - it all sounds so tedious but somehow when your co-workers have that organizing skill, it all just happens rather smoothly. It actually amazes me.

F. Between Carpools is so necessary. Again, as Jewish women, even if cooking is not your thing (that would be me) we always have Shabbos and guests and the next holiday coming up. Even if we want to keep it simple, we still love having everything look nice and taste good. It’s just the way we are…so what's your favorite quick tip, shortcut or hack when it comes to cooking, gift giving, or even taking care of our families.

Leah: Our medicine hack was perhaps our most popular hack and these 5 minute doughnuts using bought pizza dough is the best doughnut hack.

F. So perfect for Chanukah.

Renee: Yes. And this is my favorite Shabbos fish dish for when there is literally no time but I still want to impress my guests.

And this Charchuterie Board is exactly what I will pull together anytime I have zero time to prep but want to feed a crowd. In style, I might add.

Shaindy: The Romanian Eggplant Dip featured during Pesach has become my weekly homemade healthy dip . There are so many little hacks like how to style a salad, or a new way to serve your chicken soup - that are small ideas that make a big difference - and I have to say it’s quite convenient having these ideas at your fingertips in such a visual and pretty way.

F. I'm really excited to try the chachuterie board...easy and pretty is so my style! Let's get back to Chanukah. What are your favorite decorating tips or party ideas that we can still implement in the last minute?

Shaindy: The coloring tablecloth featured last year was a huge hit. There are so many posts that have inspired my decor choices from Between Carpools - like thistablespread, or this one. I love the transparency on this platform - I always encourage the team to share where every item was purchased - it really breaks things down for people with no natural styling skill to get a beautiful table.

F. Favorite Chanukah recipe?

Leah: This year my two new favorites are the Classic Sufganiyot. I was so excited with Noami’s hack for getting the perfect round sufganiot...

...and these Pastrami Pizzas.

Shaindy: I’m also all about easy and pretty. I just loved this easy donut hack dessert recipe.

F. Favorite gift to get or give?

Shaindy: Last Chanukah my parents got my kids this classroom sized dry erase board. It has by far been the best gift our family has ever recieved. It’s used practically everyday for homework or drawing and is good for kids of all ages.

F. Best advice for making Chanukah as wonderful as it can be.

Leah: For all of us on Between Carpools team, we feel that Chanukah is all about family time, by playing games and creating a fun family atmosphere. We post as many simple and easy hacks and game as we could come up with (and gather from other writers). As long as you keep that focus in mind, it’s easier to make chanukah a wonderful experience.

This post is great for some last minute party ideas: Host a Chic No Cook (Almost) Chanukah Party

And these are some games we love:

How Renee Muller’s Family Kicks Off Chanukah Festivities

Danielle Renov’s Life Sized Memory Game

5 Party Perfect Games for Your Chanukah Get Together

Victoria: I like to do one “big” thing that they’ll remember forever. Last year, it was this S’Mores bar which was the size of my dining room table.

This year, I made a Life-Sized CandyLand Game Board with real candy. The kids roll dreidels, move along the board, collect candy in certain spots, choose cards, earn tickets...everything that a real board game would have, but much, much better. My kids helped me build it for our Sunday party.

F. So fun! You guys have such great content for Chanuka and all year round. What are some of your dreams for the future of Between Carpools? Are there any next levels we can look forward to?

Leah: As we’re growing so fast, our hope is to keep the site as authentic as when we started. We really post only items we love, hacks that we tested out and know that work, and our dream is to keep on inspiring women from all over the world and simply help them out.

Shaindy: We take ideas and requests from our readers very seriously. One thing that we’re planning is a siddur page where all woman-related prayers would be easily accessible. We also want to improve our food section and incorporate an easy search by Meat, Milk, Gluten Free, Dinner etc.

F. It all sounds so great! Thanks so much for being here, and looking forward to spending way more time browsing Between Carpools.

Please leave a comment below, and let me know if you enjoyed this post, what you liked or didn't like, and if you'd like to be featured here on Fashion-isha.com!

Ttyl...until next time,

xx

Sharon

She's Got Eyes For You...Meet Blimie Levy of Eyewear24Seven

2017-11-27T07:00:00.002-05:00

Last week, on a gorgeous day in South Beach, I sat down with my new friend, Blimi Levy, to chat about balancing family life while running her self-made business, Eyewear 24 Seven. We talked about keeping it real, yet staying fabulous; doing it all, while taking care of yourself; and what drives Blimie in her business and personal life.

I loved getting to know this vivacious and soulful woman, and so will you!

SAVE 30% off the retail price of all Eyewear24Seven AUTHENTIC designer sunglasses: Follow and message Blimie on Instagram, or call (917) 374-1308 and mention you saw this on Fashionisha!

South Beach babes (Blimie and I) checking out the Eyewear24Seven collection

Fashionisha: Hey, Blimie what's up?? How’s your day going?

Blimie: Amazing!!!

F: I’m really happy to feature you here on the blog! I’m all about showing off my favorite momtrepreneurs who are cool, classy, sassy, and sweet all rolled into one. Let’s start with the basics…can you tell us what you had for breakfast today?

B: I always start with my morning coffee, I cheated today and I had a mini babka muffin (laughs)... then I had scrambled eggs with coffee.

F: Love your honesty. We want to know more about you! What three traits would you say describe you the best?

B: Oh boy, I have to narrow it down to three traits?? If I have to.. sometimes it’s better not to talk too much and just narrow it down.. OK, here goes: super friendly, genuine, and giving.

F: I agree, babe. Let me ask you, when you were a little girl, what did you dream your life would be like when you were older?

B: I didn’t really know what I wanted to be when I grew up.. not everyone knows what they want to be at such a young age.. life experience changes you as you get to know yourself. You evolve as a person and then try to figure it out.

"Not everyone knows what they want to be at such a young age."

F: I love that answer. And I think it's really important for the young readers here to read that, and not feel all that pressure to have their lives all perfectly planned out. So tell us what a typical day in the life of Blimi looks like:

B: I wake up a little before 7:00... I like to have those extra few minutes before I have to wake up my kids. I listen to some music, for me it’s always about music. Then I wake my kids up. I literally climb into bed with them and tickle them and give them some love. Then I get them dressed, plan our meals, give them a healthy breakfast, pack their lunches, and we’re all in the car by 7:40.

After I drop them at school, I go back home and have my coffee, change into my gym clothes, and head to my spin class. I have the best, most fun workout with all my friends. It’s my therapy. Then I’m energized and full of positivity for the day. Then I’ll check my emails and Instagram, and do my daily posts and inspire my followers with bursts of sunshine via my amazing eyewear! Then I’m ready for my clients. I love getting dressed for the day and styling myself, as well as my clients, to look and be the best they can be.

Being an independent business owner, my days vary. Some days I’ll have customers coming over by appointment, or I’ll be busy shipping out styles marketed through Instagram or social media. I also do various wholesale deals amongst the optical community in Florida and New York, and I work private trunk shows and boutiques throughout Florida via country club settings or philanthropy fundraisers.

The fabulous and powerful women I meet at these events only fuel my journey towards success, and I love the feeling of coming back to these events, year after year, to greet my longtime clients who are anxiously awaiting for me to once again, style the perfect new pair of glasses for them!

After work, I get to come home to my 3 children who anxiously await to share their day with me. Dinnertime is all about giving everyone the individual attention they need. Then we gather again when my husband comes home to talk about our days. After the kids are sleeping, I’ll unwind with my music, and I usually go to sleep late. This is when my adult social life starts...I can be up until the wee hours of the night texting friends. The value of great girlfriends is priceless!

Some of Blimie's friends modeling her eyewear

F: Wow, sounds like a packed day. You’re a total boss babe and inspiration to all the other working moms out there. Who are are some of your favorite designers? What are some of your favorite brands of clothes?

B. There are so many! I don’t have one favorite. But I love Valentino and Diane Von Furstenburg for her simple and classy dresses. And I always like the Alice and Olivia collections. I also love Vivianne Westwood, and Gucci shoes are my favorite, but you can never go wrong with Zara and J. Crew. I believe in mixing affordable brands with designer pieces, and then I'm good to go.

F. I love your passion. Speaking of which, what’s your favorite food?

B. One favorite food? Are you kidding? It used to be pasta...I feel like I’m half Italian sometimes, but then there's fried chicken! And spicy Israeli food! There are so many, but those are my favorites.

F. And your favorite blogger?

B. I only have eyes for you Fashionisha!

F. Aww I love you too! So how did you get started with your sunglasses business, Eyewear24Seven? What inspired you? What drives you?

B. Well, I’m a licensed optician by trade, and I always loved accessories. And whoever knows me, knows that my greatest strength lies in sales. I’m always being told that I can sell the Brooklyn Bridge! Glasses are the first thing you see on a person...even before the shoes! And the eyes are the window to the soul...if the eyes are the window to the soul, then the eyewear is that perfect piece of jewelry that every woman must possess! Each person's face is unique and special, and so is each pair of sunglasses, and I love customizing my service and finding the perfect fit to that perfect face. I love selling the ultimate accessory of the face…eyewear…24/7…that is my calling.

F: So, what makes Eyewear24Seven special and different than the others?

B: Well, I do the shopping for my customers. I pick the best of the best designers: Chanel, Celine, Gucci, Fendi, Dior, Roberto Cavalli, Alexander McQueen, and much more. Every designer has their own unique style and I love curating my own unique collection for my special customers. There will always be that one perfect pair that matches each and every one of my unique clients, and they always end up coming back for yet another perfect pair.

Each person's face is unique and special, and so is each pair of sunglasses, and I love customizing my service and finding the perfect fit to that perfect face.

The cherry on top is that I offer a major discount off the retail prices. (Be sure to check my Instagram page daily for special promotions; and sometimes I offer even bigger discounts depending on the season.) I also can offer you discounted prices for styles you may find in department stores that I may not carry, and I can even add prescription lenses to your sunglasses. I also ship all over the country.

SAVE 30% off the retail price on all Eyewear24Seven AUTHENTIC designer sunglasses: Follow and message Blimie on Instagram, or call (917) 374-1308 and mention you saw this on Fashionisha!

F. Okay here’s the biggie: How do you manage running a business and being a wife and mom…and being so damn fabulous on top of all that?

B. I do my best. Don’t we all? I try to give my husband and kids the most attention possible, while still doing the best I can for myself to fulfill my desires and achieve my goals in the business world. Happy wife, happy life!

F. Yes, I agree! Self care is crucial to being a giver. If you could have lunch with someone famous, dead or alive, who would it be?

B. Larry David or Seinfeld! Comedy is key in life, and laughter is always the best medicine. And we as members of the elite Jewish class can all relate to Larry David. In my personal life, I often find myself saying, “This is such a Larry moment!”

Also, being that I'm so into music, I would love to do lunch with Alicia Keys, because she is my favorite singer/songwriter/piano player...which is me! I especially can relate to her New York song..."the streets that inspire you, make you feel brand new..." My roots will always be in New York, but my home is now Miami. So lunch with Alicia and Pitbull...now that would be a major soul connection!

F. What’s you mantra or favorite quote?

B. Always focus on the good.

F. Ahh... mine too! There is no other way! If you could tell your younger self one thing what would it be?

B. Follow your gut and don’t care about what others think. Trust your inner wisdom; it steers you right every time.

F. So true. Can you share with us your dreams, aspirations and goals for the future?

B. First and foremost I want my children to be happy, successful and comfortable in who they are. I hope they always strive to be whatever they want to be and do it the best they can with ambition and success. But most importantly, I want them to be happy and like what they're doing; to always have a goal. I have new dreams every day, and I feel like life experience takes me to a different level of appreciation of different things. And when I get the feeling that I want to do something, it’s never too late. You’re not dead yet! Until you're dead, you're alive.

"Until you're dead, you're alive."

F. Love that! You have so much wisdom here for women of all ages.

So...what are you having for dinner?

B. Meatballs and spaghetti. I told you, I feel like I'm half Italian!

F. Awesome! Ok...just for fun...bath or shower?

B. Bath.

F. Tea or coffee?

B. Coffee.

F. Yoga or Spin?

B. Spin!

F. Bold lips or smoky eye?

B. Bold lips.

F. Fried foods or sweets?

B. Fried foods.

F. Love your answers...love you! This was so fun. Thanks for being here...xo

SAVE 30% off the retail price on all Eyewear24Seven AUTHENTIC designer sunglasses: Follow and message Blimie on Instagram, or call (917) 374-1308 and mention you saw this on Fashionisha!

Until next time,

Sharon & Blimi

This is a sponsored post. All sponsored posts on Fashion-isha.com feature products I approve of, and all opinions are true and honest. If you'd like to be considered for feature here on the blog, please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com.

Thanksgiving and Kislev: Getting Your Lights Bright

2017-11-20T07:21:00.002-05:00

It's Thanksgiving week, and there's no better time to celebrate gratitude. And boy have we been celebrating! If you have been following my Insta-stories, you know we've been having a great time with my gratitude challenges all month. Gratitude has changed my life, and I know it's changed a lot of your lives as well.

The gratitude challenge has had such an impact, that I've decided to keep it going, but on a whole new level. Stay tuned for my upcoming Insta-stories, where I've teamed up with Chai Lifeline Southeast to share some powerful lessons of gratitude; because when you hear what the people of Chai Lifeline Southeast have to say, you'll realize that no matter what you may be going through, there is always something to be grateful for. And when we train our brains to focus on gratitude, there's no room for the negativity that sometimes haunts us and brings us so much sorrow.

Remember, what we think about affects how we feel. And how we feel is what our life becomes.

And now, with the month of Kislev upon us, I'd also like to talk about the importance of shining our lights onto the world. (Read my other post on this topic HERE.) As women, many of us have a hard time giving ourselves permission to truly embrace the full uniqueness of ourselves and show it to the world. Maybe we were taught to be humble, modest, and quiet, but that doesn't mean we don't each have special gifts that we were meant to share. We must find our inner lights and shine away!

As a matter of fact, I'm sharing my top 5 looks (and where to get them) from this past month, along with tips to increase the wattage of your personal lights. Enjoy!

1. Be yourself, everyone else is taken. Why do we spend so much time trying to be like everyone else, when we are already perfect beings as we are?

Proenza Schouler dress from Esti's Brooklyn. Booties: YSL

2. Successful people are not "lucky". They go after what they want and create their own opportunities. They are not better or more worthy than you, they just know their own worth and that's enough to move them into action.

Leather and faux fur outfit: Limore Atelier.

3. Love yourself. Self love is the most powerful magnet for bringing more love into your life.

Dress: Limore Atelier. Shoes: Valentino from Amuze.

4. Your flaws are also your assets. Stop being ashamed of them, and embrace your imperfections. Self acceptance brings freedom from the fear that dims your light, and connects you with others who may be feeling the same.

Dress: Raju. Booties: Jessica Simpson.

5. Know what you're good at, thank Hashem for it, and then share it with the world. It's not being a show off. It's using your gifts to shine your light and make the world better.

Top: Petit Pois From Head to Hose. Skirt: Esteez Online. Booties: Forever 21. Sunglass: Tom Ford

And finally, do not give a hoot about what other people say, and do not make up stories in your head about what other people may say. Just do your thang...you were born for it!

Until next time...

Love,

Sharon

From Room to Groom (We're Back!)...I am Grateful for These Fall Colors

2017-10-31T21:30:00.001-04:00

If you've been following me on my Insta-stories, you'll know that we've been doing a 30 day gratitude challenge this month, where we focus on one small thing to be grateful for each day. And when I say one small thing...I mean small. Things like being grateful for colors, tastes, scents, etc. It's a great way to train our brains to notice all the little and wonderful details in life that we often overlook. And you know what? If our brains stay busy with gratitude for all the little miracles, they won't have much space for complaints, negativity and sadness.

So today I am celebrating, and grateful for, the rich colors and flavors of some of the most vibrant and healthy foods from nature...which, BTW, are some of the most en vogue colors of this season both in the kitchen and in your closets: Blueberry, avocado, pumpkin, and cranberry.

Delicious!

These are the color palettes for today's From Room To Groom post, which I decided to bring back, because who doesn't love a creative collaboration of interior design and fashion!?

Blueberry

Shop this color palette below:

Avocado

Shop this color palette below:

Pumpkin

Shop this color palette below:

Cranberry

Shop this color palette below:

Remember, nothing is too small to be grateful for. Even a tiny bit of gratitude has the power to ease a huge bunch of negativity. Follow me on Instagram to get grateful and positive!

Much love...until next time,

xx

Sharon

Enjoyed this post? Check out these favorite From Room To Groom Posts:

http://www.fashion-isha.com/2011/07/from-room-to-groom-plus-more-seafoam.html
http://www.fashion-isha.com/2012/10/from-room-to-groomdarker-days.html
http://www.fashion-isha.com/2013/01/from-room-to-groom.html
http://www.fashion-isha.com/2014/05/from-groom-to-room-sometimes-it-is-all.html

If you'd like to sponsor a product to be featured on my next From Room To Groom post, please email me at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com for more info.

Why You MUST HAVE These 12 Things This Season

2017-09-24T09:24:00.001-04:00

And here it is...drumroll please....my latest and greatest Fall/Winter Must Have List!

Get ready to check out 12 of my favorite must-have products, services, clothing and accessories. And the coolest part is that I divided the list into 3 categories which correspond with some of the mantras I love to share with you guys: 'Simplify Your Life', 'Take Care of Yourself', and 'Have Fun with Fashion'.

My sponsors and I have worked hard to bring you this list, to help you easily pull off a fabulous, updated YOU. All without expending too much time, energy or money, while giving yourself the care and love you need to enhance your life and feel beautiful, inside and out. That's the Fashionisha way!

Enjoy this list, shop away, and let me know what you think!

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

We're all so, so busy, especially this time of year. The first four items on this list are not only some super stylish, awesome products, they also all have this in common: They will make your life easier. And that, my friends, is everything!

1. THE GO SPORT WIG BY @STREIFERWIGS

I can't even describe how much I love my GoSportWig, but let me try. At first I was reluctant about this wig because I thought it would look wiggy and feel really uncomfortable all around my head. But, boy was I wrong, wrong, wrong.

A few weeks into my move to Florida, after seeing one of my daughter's friend's rocking the coolest high pony, and wondering what she was wearing....I realized that ...

I Needed THIS!
Right now!

I messaged @STREIFERWIGS and ordered my GoSportWig, and pretty much haven't taken it off since. Here's what I love about the GoSportWig: It's probably the most comfortable wig I've ever worn, it's cool and off my face, the texture of the hair and the gorgeous color and highlights are super chic, and there are a gazillion ways I can wear it...with all sorts of bands and head wraps, in a low pony, a high pony, a messy bun, braids...even down like a fall! That's why the GoSportWig is number one on my list of MUST HAVES!

Order your GoSportWig at 718-633-5828
Follow @STREIFERWIGS on Instagram

2. THE ZIP HOODIE DRESS BY @SHOSHANAROSENY (See exclusive promo code below)

Shoshana Rose athleisure-wear was designed for the extreme multi-tasker who needs to make one less decision in the morning. She's someone who appreciates being able to throw something easy and comfortable on that will take her through her daily journeys. At Shoshana Rose, they feel that it's important to have access to quality athleisure wear at an affordable price. Meticulous with fit and overachieving on feel, we've sourced the softest cotton fabric to cover the body in all the right places with just the right amount of spandex that stretches with every move. Packable and versatile, its perfect for travelling, as a cover-up to the gym or for those work at home or errand days.

Not sure what to wear on those busy back-to-school mornings? Rushing to get your kids to catch the bus? Shoshana Rose offers the perfect solution. Save time by throwing on something stylish and comfortable to get you through the entire day; from the gym all the way to plowing through that never ending list of errands. Made from premium pre-washed stretch cotton, the Shoshana Rose cowl neck dress, zip up dress and wrap and sweatshirt skirts are great for those long walks outside in the crisp fall weather. So make sure you grab some “You Time” to de-stress and enjoy the changing color of the leaves!

Available at shoshanarose.com.
Follow @Shoshanaroseny on Instagram

Save 20% on your first order by using promo code Fashionisha.

3. THE SHAATRA PLANNERS

You know how much I love my Shaatra planners...I post about them a lot! No matter how much your iPhone can do for you, there's really nothing like writing things down with good old pen and paper. Add a super stylish, highly functional, well designed, inspiration filled planner that includes spots for goals, gratitude, dinner menus, lists and way more, and you'll never need a different method for organizing your life again. I call my Shaatra planner my anti-anxiety notebook...and for good reason! This is truly, and always, one of my favorite MUST HAVES.

Order your planner HERE
Follow @shaatraclub on Instagram

4. THE BELLA DRESS BY @TUBESKIRTSLA

If you're looking for a stylish, comfy dress to get cozy in...and go out in this winter, we've got you covered (literally) with this cashmere-like, heavenly soft knit dress by Tube Skirts LA. It's elegant, modest, and looks good on everyone. Getting dressed pretty just got really easy.

Order your Bella dress at tubeskirtsla.com
Follow @tubeskirtsla on Instagram.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

5. A PAMPERING LASER SESSION WITH @MORIAH.LASER.AND.SPA (see exclusive promo code below)

Excuse us, because we're about to get a little hairy here. You know that icky feeling when you notice those little hairs on your upper lip (and other unmentionable places)? Yikes! Somehow we just don't feel 100% great anymore. That's why it's really important to set some time for yourself to take care of your personal business. No, it's not unimportant or petty; these little acts of self care go a long way in enhancing how you feel and perform in all of the gazillion non-self focussed things you have to do!

Introducing Moriah.laser.and.spa...

Moriah tells us, "Back when I was in school (10 years ago), and thinking of career options, I decided I wanted to be in the business of making people feel awesome. So together with my love for everything beauty, makeup, and skincare, and my gift of having good hands, I decided to become an esthetician, and laser hair removal technician. At Moriah laser and spa I offer everything from advanced IPL photo facials, to standard facial treatment for acne, anti aging, and any other skin issue. With every facial clients receive a relaxing facial, and hand massage that increases blood supply to the face, and improves the skins over all appearance. This rejuvenates dull skin, plumps up fines lines, and even aids in emptying the pores of excess sebum for those with oily skin. Here massage is a crucial step in every facial, so clients leave relaxed and rejuvenated, and we all know relaxation equals more glowing and younger looking skin. In addition to skin care, I also offer laser hair removal with the newest technology on the market. Laser treatments are 90% less painful than what they used to be, and treatments are 100 times faster.

Clients don't have to sit for hours while treating large areas because this machine fires pulses faster than any other machine. This machine has also been clinically proven to show results 80% faster and clients have reported seeing a lot of improvement after just 2 treatments. So for all those that are tired of shaving and waxing and still never feeling smooth and clean, and for all those that have ingrown hairs, (that sometimes get infected), and large red irritated dots all over, laser is the answer. I offer safe, affective, reasonably priced, and professional service. Most importantly I care about my clients. Its important to me that each client's questions, and concerns are answered and dealt with, and that you feel comfortable, and happy with your results. This is not a clinic where you're in and out with no personal touch, each client gets their personal undivided attention."

So what are you waiting for? Book your laser session with Moriah now by calling 917-889-5147 or emailing Moriaharonov@icloud.com

Take 10% off your first two laser treatments with code FASHIONISHA

6. A HAIR AND WIG COURSE WITH @A_CUT_ABOVE_HAIRSCHOOL (See exclusive promo below)

Do your wigs knot up from all those chic fall scarves and jacket collars? Are you always running to your hairstylist to get your wig redone?

Why not give yourself a gift and enroll in A Cut Above Hair School, where you will learn how to properly wash, set and style wigs, cut and style hair, and even learn some basic wedding styles!
Become your own stylist and learn how to wash, set and style your own wigs so that you can always look your best and feel confident and comfortable in your wig.

Style done by a student

You are just a few classes away from always looking your best!

Email: acutabove.hairschool@gmail.com
347-909-1447
Follow @a_cut_above_hairschool and @wigsbyshani on Instagram

The first 5 followers that sign up for a full course get 10% off! USE CODE FASHIONISHA

7. A LUXURIOUS FACE CREAM AND GLOWY NEW BRONZER AND LIPSTICK BY ARBONNE FROM @CLASSYHEALTHY

As the seasons change, it's nice to refresh your beauty routine. With colder, dryer air, and less sunlight, an ultra rich moisturizer and a glowy bronzer can really be a pick-me-up in your morning routine.

I myself am not an Arbonne consultant, but I've heard about the quality of their products for years. And when I received and tried this Arbonne intelligence rejuvenating cream from Mimi of @Classyhealthy, I fell in love immediately with its rich, silky texture and uber moisturizing abilities. And the bronzer is great too, with nice, glowy, and natural coverage. I have yet to try the lipstick, but I'm looking forward to wearing it with my colorful faux fur scarves (see below) when it really gets chilly!

"Become the best version of yourself while impacting the lives of others along the way!" -Arbonne Independent Consultant, Mimi Mermelstein

Get your Arbonne products HERE
Follow @classyhealthy on Instagram

HAVE FUN WITH FASHION

8. A GLAMOROUS BELT BY @TWO12FASHION

A little embellishment can go a long way in upping your fashion game, and this Fall, trends are leaning towards the more-is-more approach. The more sparkly and feathery, the better!

An extremely wearable way to add some of that feathery and sparkly vavoom to your outfits is with the belts of Two 12 Fashion, located in Lakewood NJ. Two12Fashion specializes in Jewish modest fashion. They have so many gorgeous belts to choose from: Rhinestone, metallic, gold, feathered, beaded, and even fur. Adding Two 12 Fashion belts are such a fun way of glamming up your outfits.

Two 12 fashion brings on-trend, modest fashion to women all over the world. They believe you don’t have to sacrifice anything to look beautiful. Modesty and beauty can be seamlessly joined. We agree!

www.two12fashion.com
Follow @two12fashion on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/two12fashion/
For wholesale inquiry’s please email info@two12fashion.com.

9. A WINTER WHITE DRESS BY @SIMONDAVIS

This fall, colors get intense, with deep reds and purples trending off the runways. But I still believe that when you want to move away from black, yet stay sophisticated and elegant, there's nothing like winter white.

The Simon Davis aesthetic is grounded in elegance with a flair of contemporary taste. Their woman is a boss at whatever she does, whether she’s a mom, a CEO, both, or none. She is someone who plays by her own rules and doesn’t let others define her. The Simon Davis woman is an influencer and a leader whose graceful sophistication sets the example for others.

Simon Davis clothes are a Made in the USA brand. They garner a lot of their aesthetic from historical influences, and don't worry...they also carry those on trend bold colors as well!

www.simondavisny.com
www.instagram.com/simondavisny/

10. A FUN FUR SCARF BY @DANIELLAFAYE (See exclusive promo code below.)

I love living in Florida. And when I think about how I'll be missing those crisp cold days, the only thing that gets me feeling blue about that, is the fact that I probably will not get to wear all that fun fur they've been showing for Fall. But this collar by Daniella Faye is so cool and versatile, that maybe, just maybe, I'll have a chilly evening or two when I can throw it on over something, and reminisce about those cold New York winters. Ha! I'll take the fur minus the cold thank you!

Daniella Faye is a young entrepreneur who started her career as a designer at the age of 11. She now owns a shop in the center of Jerusalem at Hillel 1, seconds away from the bustling Ben Yehuda street. Prior to opening her store, Daniella was known for her beautiful and unique head coverings. Since opening her store, Daniella has expanded her line to clothing. If you're visiting Jerusalem, check out Daniella's amazing new winter collection which includes dresses, skirts, and fur and cashmere scarfs. The scarf in this picture is a part of her new collection. The best part about Daniella's collection? Everything is designed and produced in Israel.

If you can't make it to Jerusalem don't worry! Daniella's collection is also available online at DaniellaFaye.com, on Facebook at Daniella Faye and at a number of local stores in the US. Follow Daniella's adventures on Instagram (@Daniella.Faye) for a behind the scenes look at her job.

Use promo code Fashionisha10 for 10% off the scarf!

11. A VELVET BODY SUIT/ LEATHER LEGGING COMBO BY @FROMHEADTOHOSE

I know I'm not garnering any sympathy here, but this is something else I'll miss wearing this winter in Florida: The super chic foundation wardrobe of a velvet body suit paired with leather leggings.

You can build virtually every cold busting, street style worthy outfit with those two pieces...the best versions available at From Head to Hose.

Velvet bodysuit on left, and Commando leather-like leggings on right, available at From Head to Hose.

From Head To Hose is one of my favorite boutiques, and carries the best brands in exclusive hosiery, foundation pieces, dresses, leggings, and accessories. They are located at 1717 Avenue M, in Brooklyn, NY (718) 692-0820.

Follow @Fromheadtohose on Instagram and message them. They ship too!

12. THE BROOKLYN SKIRT FROM @ESTEEZONLINE (See exclusive promo below.)

"Hello beauties!"

That's how my good friend Annette from Esteez Online starts her hilarious insta stories every day. I love watching her stories because she is a fabulously kind person with a huge laugh and an even huger heart. But, that's not all. She (and her very funny husband sidekick) also design and manufacture THE BEST pencils skirts on the market. I'm not exaggerating when I say I literally live in them. Every. Single. Day.

The Brooklyn skirt is my favorite because it's buttonless for a flatter tummy look. But I also love the Miami skirt. As a matter of fact, I love all of their skirts! They fit great, are completely modest, are stretchy and slenderizing, and come in a whole slew of colors and patterns. Once you start wearing them, you won't be able to stop.

Save 15% on all ladies skirts sitewide with code FASHIONISHA15

Order your Esteez skirts HERE (Also available on Amazon!)

Follow @Esteezonline on Instagram

And there you have it! My favorite MUST HAVES of this season.

For last year's Fall MUST HAVE list, click HERE.

Let me know what you think, and follow me on Instagram for more great products, and to stay inspired!

Lots of love,

xoxo

Sharon

Change Your Life With These 10 Truths

2017-07-15T23:30:00.001-04:00

Shavuah Tov!

If you've been following me on Instagram you will know I have been posting the '10 Truths With Limore Atelier 'series, and now I've compiled them all for you here in one place for a mega dose of inspiration!

I met the girls of Limore Atelier about a year or so ago, and we became instant friends. You know when you just sit down with someone and everything just clicks? Before you know it you're pouring your hearts out to each other and finishing each other's sentences.

That's how it was with Blimi and Libby of Limore Atelier. The fact that they are incredible designers who have a passion for creating runway inspired, couture quality, modest dresses that are classic, elegant, and also a bit edgy, is just the bonus! These are dresses like you've never seen before in our modest market place.

What I particularly love about each and every one of the Limore dresses is that they are meticulously crafted to fit a real, adult woman's body. Every dress I tried on made me feel amazing, because each unique masterpiece is built upon a foundation of the most flattering silhouette.

Whenever I get together with the Limore girls, we have the best talks, and I am always inspired by their positive outlook and pearls of wisdom. So we decided to promote their new line of dresses together with some of the 'truths' we have shared over our salmon and sangria lunches, for a dose of beauty that goes both, from the inside out and from the outside in.

Are you ready? Here we go!

1. Don't ever despair or give up...things can change in an instant. Miracles happen in a second.

2. Let your wounds be your wisdom. The things that hurt us most can end up being our best teachers.

3. Surround yourself only with people who will take you higher...or at least people who are happy to travel along with you on your journey towards happiness and success.

4. Be the energy you want to attract! What you put out comes back at you so always be generous with your love and positivity.

5. The miracle of surrounding...totally giving it over to the one above...that's real peace.

6. True forgiveness is when you can say thank you for the experience. Forgiveness is your treasure box...a gift for yourself.

7. Behind your fears lie all your potential. You can do it!

8. Always remember to love yourself first...when things feel bad, give yourself a hug and tell yourself how wonderful you are.

9. You get in life what you have the courage to ask for...no one is big enough, strong enough, smart enough or rich enough to do it by themselves...so dream big and ask for help!

10. It's not the circumstances in your life, or even the way people act towards you that cause your negative feelings...it's what you THINK about the circumstances, people, and even yourself, that cause your bad feelings. Change the way you think (reframe the circumstances), and you will change the way you feel.

So what do you have to say about these dresses and truths? Send me your comments and questions at ask.fashionisha@gmail.com, and stay posted on Instagram for an upcoming instal-live to chat more about these ideas.

For dress inquiries, follow Limore Atelier on Instagram and Facebook, or call 845-642-5440.

Talk to you soon,

xx

Sharon