Hates

GQ for being mildly d-baggy.

So, I’m at the drug store buying lozenges, multiple packs of tissues and some nail polish when I see this:

And I was prepared to write it off as unklassy, but whatever, sex sells blahblahblah. Until I’m listening to Pop Culture Happy Hour and they start talking about the amazing piece of profile writing in GQ this month about Michelle Williams. So I head over to GQ to see more about it. And this is still how they’re selling great writing:

Some Like Her Hot

It seemed crazy at first. Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe? Come on. We knew Williams could act—but could she make us drool? America, we have our answer. Meet the winner of GQ‘s (okay, yes, unofficial) award for best actress

Favourites

1. We’re kind of a big deal.

 

That's us as a feature story. No bigs.

 

So is Ben (but you already knew that) and The Vegan Butcher. And so are the other bloggers in this city. When Kim interviewed us, we were happy to answer questions and forget about it. And then boom! We are in the middle of an awesome story and oh hey! that’s a photo of us!

2. Kate Spade clearly loves me

Right…so they kicked off their year of the pattern with stripes.

So that means, my birthday month was full of nautical and stripes over at Kate Spade. It’s a wonder I didn’t go stark raving mad and just buy one of everything. Particularly the nautical jewelery (which comes in a necklace, bracelet, ring and earrings…you know I want to collect the whole set).

In the meantime, I got a cute anchored number from Jewelmint. This is merely a stop gap. I still want the whole set.

3. Rachel Bilson is pretty much the most adorbs.

Call Me Doctor with Rachel Bilson from Rachel Bilson

As much as we love us some Marissa Cooper round these parts, Summer Roberts will forever be our homegirl.

4. And like the title of the post says:

 Oh hells yes. They are totally mine. (but not with those particular jeans). And I will eventually write an entire blog post about them (when the weather is better and I can take them outside for a “photoshoot”).

And now on to covet something new. I will put that new covet out into the universe like I believe in the Secret or some junk and it will totally become mine (because I won’t shut up for years and I’ll start sending links to people around gift giving holidays).

Ally: Yay to Friday! Fairly big snowstorm about to hit Halifax so I’m stoked to home-office-it for the day. Speaking of home offices, Ben and I have decided to co-write a post to be published on one or both of our sites called, “How to Operate with the Self-Employed/Entitled”. It will include helpful pointers such as, “We don’t do rush hour.” Wait for it.

I don’t have many favourites this week, and I don’t want to hold up the publishing of the post, so I’ll just take you direct to the Crappy Pop Video of the Week with a promise that I will have funny things to say next week (or at least I will be funny in my own head).

Look, judge me all you want for my pretend crushes on douchey rapper types, but I know enough to know that Pitbull is all kinds of wrong. How is he famous? Selena Gomez could “rap” better than this. In fact, I think she does:

 

 

Anyway, possibly inspired by Ally’s desire to be an 80s rock groupie and a link The Husband sent me of 1980s NYC, I’ve decided that this is totally an era I can dig fashion wise. Not one that I particularly want to inspire my current style, but that I can dig on as a general era of awesome. I mean, shit. That city had swag.

I bet if I time traveled there, I'd totally be BFF with John and Yoko and wear hats together.

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So, I went on a hunt for non-celebrity, non-disco images that show you why I dig the swag of that general time period (I totally guessed at 1978 to 1982). I’m going to try to properly credit photographers.

John F Conn.

You will probably never be this cool. That's okay.

Jamel Shabazz:

1980s short shorts and knee socks are totally where it's at in my books.

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the leather jackets are killing me.

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What up, shearling coat gang?

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Yeah, pretty much everything about this street style rocks my world. I really do wish I could look that cool. I also wish I could have grown up in 1980s NYC, because I probably wouldn’t have been terrified of the joint. I’d be all, whatevs, this is where I live and it’d be the early 1980s, so no one would fear for my safety if I walked two blocks from my house by myself. Like this kid.

That’s the NYC I grew up watching. Is it any wonder I romanticize it? Big city living with your pet llama sounded pretty sweet to me. Even this song about the subway kind of made losing your purse sound not so bad, just a think that might happen.

Even the NYC muppets had swag back then. It’s decided. I would totally travel back in time for the style.

Ally: Due to a virus my computer picked up yesterday, which meant spending the day in Intensive Care at PC Medic, I will not be adding to this post. Not because I don’t think it’s worthy of my comments, but because the workload waiting in front of me due to missing an entire day is making me pee my pants a little bits.

]]> http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/25/fashion-time-capsule-nyc-circa-1978-1982/feed/ 5 http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/25/fashion-time-capsule-nyc-circa-1978-1982/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FashionablePeople/~3/BSbOQguV1Sc/ http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/23/in-todays-i-wasnt-kidding-episode-i-sort-of-want-to-be-a-rock-band-groupie/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:30:58 +0000 allygarbs http://fashionablethings.com/?p=11220 Ally: Last week I inferred that I was slightly intrigued in the magical mystique that is the  rock band groupie. I discussed this over lunch on Friday with Official Intern Krista and L-A. While I don’t necessarily believe they endorsed this sentiment, I think they preferred it over my crush on Pretend Boyfriend Eminem (this [...]]]> Ally: Last week I inferred that I was slightly intrigued in the magical mystique that is the  rock band groupie. I discussed this over lunch on Friday with Official Intern Krista and L-A. While I don’t necessarily believe they endorsed this sentiment, I think they preferred it over my crush on Pretend Boyfriend Eminem (this seems to deeply upset Krista on many levels, mostly because he is getting precariously close to “ending up like Axl Rose”).

Chemical peel, much?

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Krista also had this to say when asked her thoughts on the whole groupie issue, “My love for Duran Duran is still deep and abiding. John Taylor 4Eva.”

Speaking of Axl Rose, which we were.

Look at all the fun they’re having at the two minute mark. The excitement, the smoking with reckless abandon, the overuse of hoop earrings (seriously, I miss big hoop earrings). At this point, and at any other point in the future where it is questioned, I want to be clear that I was never an Axl Rose girl. Slash? Different story. Hit up 3:35 in the video and tell me you don’t wish you were one of the bridesmaids getting to chase that down the aisle. Just me? I would also like to be clear before we go any further that I don’t actually wish to engage in the actions of a groupie (besides smoking with reckless abandon with vodka on ice), I’m writing this post to share my love for their clothes, or lack thereof.

(Editors note: In “researching” this blog post, I came across the following site which ranks individual members of rock bands for their talents in the boudoir. It’s hysterical.)

While I tend to lean towards the rock groupie era of the late 80′s/early 90′s, the obvious go-to groupie icon is that of Penny Lane as played by Kate Hudson (when I used to like her) in Almost Famous.

Who can forget that coat? Or the boots?

I wonder if the rock stars provide the clothing bursary?

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The story is that Penny Lane was based heavily on Bebe Buell probably most famous for being the mother of Liv Tyler (“conceived” with Stephen Tyler)

One of her more modest outfits. Lookit how pretty Steven was!

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Rod would not have been one of my groupie targets, for the record.

The original "leggings as pants" ensemble. Daring, yet dashing.

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And while the pose is not particularly klassy, I do indeed love the knotted blouse crop-top look. You know, if I was 20 and driving around on tour buses.

I think she's asking for another drink.

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Apparently Topshop did an entire collection dedicated to the 70′s groupie back in 2009. How did I miss this? Oh, right. I was 20 months pregnant. Not what Mick Jagger was likely looking for.

White powder sold separately.

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Yes, it was a more subtle sensuality being dished out by the seventies groupies, something that is lost on the current day model.

They just don't sell jean shorts like that these days.

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I adore the above photo. Looking at it, I can’t help but think of this song:

Don’t lie. It’s catchy. Sigh, I am so old.

These days, the groupies don’t even try anymore. It’s a lost art.

The physics around the dress worn by the young lady on the far right goes over my head. Physics in general goes over my head.

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It bothers me that these girls don’t even want to go to the bar with Axl Rose and his posse, they’re ok with heading straight to the hotel lobby for the after-party, and that’s not cool. Who’s raising you wrong, my bitches?

Of course, our modern day rock star “groupie” icon has to be Kate Moss:

I think I've referenced this photo previously (maybe to piss L-A off on purpose).

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Sexy (yes, L-A, debatable), casual, and certain to get on the bus for the full tour experience. This is likely more up L-A’s alley (pun!):

S/S D&G Collection

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L-A’s classy and sassy. She’s only going on the tour bus if there is a promise of boxed wine and unlimited amounts of “Treat yo’ self” days from the rock star in question.

I don’t get much of a chance to dress up like a rock star groupie these days, but I’m looking for an excuse (meaning L-A needs to set this up as an FPQT challenge, which I will only agree to in the warmer weather. You can’t do groupie in a puffy coat and hiking boots required for the bullshit Nova Scotia weather. Word?)

L-A and I don’t get to hang out as much as I’d like in real life. I don’t get to hang out with many people as much as I’d like in real life. Despite the lack of shared boxed wine and candlelight dinners, she’s still one of the most important people in my life. She is always there to encourage me, make me laugh (because seriously? The girl makes me laugh more than Tina Fey’s Bossypants, and that’s saying something), find  me high-quality “stripper songs”on a Wednesday when I’m down  and convince me that my leggings should always be paired with pants outside my home office. We’ve decided to agree to disagree on me continuing to wear leggings as pants in the privacy of my own home.

L-A is one of the best writers I know. The blog exists purely because of her and her mad skillz. She’s just bringing me along for the ride, and I’m so happy to be her sidekick. So today, I wish her a fantastic birthday with hopes that she will end the day scooting around her apartment in an empty box of wine while blaring hipster dance music that I am not smart enough to understand.

To celebrate, I’ve asked some of our sexy unpaid Interns and Guest Bloggers to share with me their wish and virtual gifts for L-A on her B-day, so that I can in turn share it with the Internets.

First up, our lovely Anthony. A man who’s wit is only matched by his bionic chiseled abs. Or so he tells me.

Being that L-A and I are self-professed type nerds, I think buying her a custom font for her b-day would knock the socks of her sock monkeys; thereby leaving mounds of stuffing around her house. Since Vancouver is also full of many (MANY) fantastic designers, I could even stay local and get a font made by local shop, Working Format. Seriously, these guys are tight. But, since I won’t be having anything bespoke for L-A until my media baronage is totally secure, I’d totes give her the Charlie font from Working Format. Happy Birthday, L-A! Serifs for days!

Right. I mean, I’m sure that’s nice and all…but if bitch gets me a “font” for my birthday, even in virtual pretend gift land I’ll be royally pissed off. Sadly, I know L-A will love this.

Next up is Official Intern Krista, who apparently has been the victim of Kardashian one-liner theft. It’s true. The other day I renamed my cold a “Kardashian Kold” only to learn that she had coined the phrased a week earlier on The Twitter. Mortificationville!

L-A’s love of nautical fashion is well-documented. To reward those efforts, and encourage them further, I’m giving her a magnificent boat for her birthday. I think you’ll find this one should do:

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Since any ol’ billionaire can buy a boat, I’m also going to hire The Lonely Island and T-Pain to ride around with her and play “I’m On A Boat” on demand, spending their non-singing time as bartenders and doing light housework [video likely NSFW, even though it’s awesome]

Editors Note: Krista was kind enough to add, “Beat that, everyone else. I guess I just like her more than you do.”

And now we have Jill, who put together a lovely little collage!

Happy Birthday, L-A! You are one funny and fashionable lady, so I hope your day is filled with cocktails, glitter ponies and, of course, the incredibly swoon-worthy combination of Adam Scott and Paul Rudd on Parks and Recreation. Now, if I had unlimited funds available (still waiting for that blogging windfall to happen) this is what you’d be getting from me today:

• Ampersand cushion from Etsy
• “Pride of the Sea” dress from Modcloth
• Vintage Set Sail scarf from Modcloth
• $250 Krug Grande Cuvee Champagne (I have no idea if it’s good, but it’s the most expensive one at the NSLC!)
• A Ron F***ing Swanson Fridge magnet and the Lil Sebastian plush toy from the NBC store

That’s some thoughtful shit right there.

Last up from our Guest Bloggers is Mel.

I wish to gift this video to L-A:

And also, some glitter ponies. But mostly that video.

Wow. I guess it’s my turn. Huh. Ok, let’s give it my best shot.

Ryan Gosling

If possible, I would deliver Ryan Gosling (armed with coffee) to L-A’s door first thing on her birthday. Hopefully she would have her hair did when answering the door.

He would be wearing that. At her door. First thing in the morning.

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A random vintage video that I feel hipsters like yourself would appreciate (you can play it after Ryan declines your offer to come in and meet your sock monkeys)

The long awaited public viewing of my dance move: Introducing the Ass Drop

I shall do this for you today, L-A. Cause you’re that special. You’ve been wanting me to put this up for a while now. For obvious reasons, I have pushed back.

You owe me.

Editors Note: Engaging in the ass-drop move while also executing the “blue steel” all up in your face is an exercise in exhaustion.

And lastly, your birthday would not be a birthday if I didn’t find a song crappy enough to celebrate your special day.

Crappy Pop Video for L-A’s Birthday

The lyrics are a gift in itself. So klassy and refined.

Happy Birthday, lady. We all love you so much.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I watch (and love) Downton Abbey. It’s a highly addictive period drama.

Cast of 20 with fancy costumes in a giant house and lots of dramz? Don't mind if I do!

There’s way too many characters to deal with in one post, so let’s go with my current favourite. Mostly because she’s kind of a bitch.

For those of you immune to the charms of this joint BBC/PBS Masterpiece dramzfest, here’s the skinny: Mary is the eldest daughter of the Lord Grantham and because of some kind of British law, she can’t inherit the estate. So she needs to marry well because dresses don’t come cheap. And apparently, marrying well is a tedious business because the rich dudes are boring as all get out.

Another day, another fancy ass dinner party.

Mary’s super pretty, so being single is kind of new to her. That’s because her cousin died on the Titanic and left her un-engaged and on the hunt for a new dude. In the process, she sleeps with a Turkish diplomat who dies in her bed and she has to move him so no one will know he died there (which is totally fair. I’d move a Turkish dude out of my bed if he died there. “No officer, he totally died on the couch”). Another distant cousin moves to town because he’s going to inherit the place and they eventually fall butt crazy in love (because it’s still totally okay to fall in love with your cousin).

Of course, it doesn’t quite work out for all the usual reasons: large misunderstanding, he goes to war, gets engaged, gets injured, et cetera, et cetera (I’m trying not to spoil it for y’all who haven’t seen season two, which totally ruined where that joke was going).

From what I can tell, Mary’s hobbies include horseback riding, strolls through the English countryside, singing romantic duets with men who are engaged, dressing up fancy for dinner and breaking up her sister’s relationships. She’s a real peach. But she always looks good and that’s the main thing.

So, you get the picture. It’s hard to be a wealthy young woman looking for love back in the early 20th century. It’s a wonder she doesn’t take up day-drinking.

She spikes her "tea" when no one is looking.

Now that we’re all up to speed on Mary’s loves and losses and bitchin’ dinner wear, we can flash forward to present day where you too can look like Lady Mary at dinner. So long as you have a spare $1400+ to drop on a Temperley London dress.  Because I was checking out the Temperley London Pre-Fall 2012 collection on New York Magazine (from where I took all the following screenshots) and after I got past the dresses that were inspired by Melanie Griffith’s Working Girl and some adorbs dresses I’d wear in a heartbeat, I was struck by one thought: “holy crap! You could totally wear that to dinner at Downton Abbey!” Check out these bad boys (and the occasions in which they are most appropriate):

1. To seduce foreign diplomats who will totally die while nude in your bed.

How could he resist you in that?

Also, that must be a really frigging awkward moment when you wake your mom up in the middle of the night to tell her about the dead dude. You best hope you and the diplomat didn’t just toss that sparkly number on the floor. Because you wouldn’t want to have to explain that you also wrinkled that dress while you were at it.

2. A more subtle, demure look for meeting distant cousins you will eventually fall butt crazy in love with.

The gunmetal grey paired with black gloves and a bejeweled headpiece would totally be the sort of thing your Lady Dowager Grandmother would approve of. Even if she doesn’t approve of the new heir to the house just yet (stupid Titanic ruining everything!).

3. While in Town (apparently this is what we call London), you will be headed out to parties to meet other rich young (and older) men.

So Lady Mary wouldn’t have worn a trench coat. I know that. But if she were Lady Mary today and headed out to meet a wealthy, self-made newspaper baron who is kind of a d-bag, I bet she would wear it.

3. Saturday night in with the family.

Like those brunches on Gossip Girl, family dinners at Downton are a classy affair. This will help seal the deal with the cousin. You know how your sister was setting her cap at him? NOT ANYMORE BITCH. Or how another lady thinks she’ll be his one and only? SERIOUSLY BITCH? IN THIS DRESS? One look at your sparkly dress and mildly caustic wit and he’ll be yours forever!

And as an aside to the starlets of Hollywood, who I’m sure read this blog: why the eff didn’t you wear anything like this on the red carpet on Sunday? If you had,  I would have been a little excited by what I saw. So, maybe you can take a page from the Lady Mary playbook when it comes time for the Oscars? Awesome. Thanks.

Ally: I have nothing to add to this hilarious post. Specifically the second to last paragraph written by L-A. Speechless. Also, I was working last night so I wasn’t able to fit in time to be witty.

I will add this, which some of you might have seen. I know the whole “Shit Girls with Blonde hair and Nine Toes Say” thing is getting tired, but it’s not exhausted. Not for me. Not yet. Especially after watching this:

At first, I was like…”I say none of this.”

Then I admitted I say the following:

“Totes”

“Hates”

“Do I look ok?”

“He was dressed like that hot guy from Yo Gabba Gabba”

“How do we feel about bangs?” and “How long do you think it will take for them to grow out?”

I may have even used the hashtag #totesamaze

]]> http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/18/lady-mary-of-downton-abbey-your-random-style-icon/feed/ 4 http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/18/lady-mary-of-downton-abbey-your-random-style-icon/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FashionablePeople/~3/qLFxeOp2aew/ http://fashionablethings.com/2012/01/16/golden-globes-2012-the-best-and-the-worst/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:13:36 +0000 la http://fashionablethings.com/?p=11139 L-A: Actually, I don’t really have any dresses that were “the best evar”. It was a pretty lacklustre red carpet. I assume this is because everyone is saving it for the Oscars. Like how you only wear an okay dress to the winter semi-formal, but go all out for prom. And 90% of the ladies [...]]]> L-A: Actually, I don’t really have any dresses that were “the best evar”. It was a pretty lacklustre red carpet. I assume this is because everyone is saving it for the Oscars. Like how you only wear an okay dress to the winter semi-formal, but go all out for prom. And 90% of the ladies wore something flesh toned and I had trouble figuring out where actress ended and dress started. Hopefully they’ll be wearing more colour at the next awards ceremony. The other disturbing trend was the number of orange fellows in attendance. They do know it’s okay to not be tanned, right? And that no one actually thinks orange is your natural healthy sun kissed glow?

Anyway, here are the dresses I didn’t hate and the ones I did. Those who joined us for the live blog action (which was fun! Thanks for testing it out with us!)

Dresses I didn’t hate.

The epaulets on the front of this dress were kind of weird, so the back was where it was at for Clare Danes.

I wanted to be her when I was 15. The front of the dress was weird.

Her speech was kind of nice too. No tears or “oh golly gee wows”. Overly earnest speeches always piss me off.

A weird dress that I liked was Michelle Williams. It probably has something to do with her being so adorable.

Intern Krista pointed out that the headband looks like what she wears to clean her toilet, but I like it.

Speaking of headbands, I totally dug the sparkly one Charlize wore:

I’m torn on this dress. Part of me loves it…part of me isn’t so sure about that giant ass bow on her hip. But because she appears to be ten feet tall and she’s wearing killer shoes, she’s making it work. So it’s firmly among the dresses I didn’t hate.

An actress I hate, but who wore one of the dresses I really enjoyed:

I think it’s because she was one of the few who knew how to use colour and use it well. So golf claps Angelina. And take them while you can, because it’ll be awhile before I’ll be inclined to give them to you again.  As for your husband, the Legends of the Falls look was only hot in 1996. We ask that you give it up.

Now on to the dresses I didn’t like: 

I should have liked Frida Pinto’s dress:

The cut, the colour, it all had promise. But the fit? Oh no. There was serious armpit bulge that you just want to avoid when you’re having this many photos taken. But it’s close to being a dress I like, so I won’t lump it with the dresses I hate.

Now, for a dress that’s getting a pass because we all thought the wearer is so adorable and delightful.

Actually, I’m sort of impressed she went with the bejewelled eagle belt buckle. That couldn’t be easy. And props for a great colour choice.

The Dresses I Hated

Oh Buffy….really?

This is literally what happens when your toddler is your stylist.

Unlike many, I still hold out hope for SMG and Ringer. Probably has more to do with the weekly man candy and less to do with the actual plot. Also, how can you not love SMG? Well, I guess a tie dye ball gown is a start on the track to not loving her.

Now, if you didn’t watch the show, try to imagine that dress on stage with this one:

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I chose this photo because I thought it would make you hate her less than all the others. She either looked like she was drunk early or making weird Marilyn Monroe-ish faces. All around weird. As was the sheer ballgown. Both were odd choices to be presenters. You go big when you’re up for the noms.

The Absolute Worst

No surprises that I’d hate this lady’s dress. But it had nothing to do with her being a try-hard or posing like Renee Zellweger (like you’ll die if everyone isn’t paying attention to you). No, this hate is all about the dress.

Posing like her life depended on it.

I like figure skating, but I do not like it when the costumes end up on a red carpet. Let’s save that shit for the ice ladies.

As for the dudes…

Sadly, dude fashion is boring on a red carpet. And when it is interesting, it’s hard to find a decent photo. But I’m giving props to Pretend Boyfriend Joseph Gordon-Levitt for his bowtie:

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You can hardly see it, but it looks sharp and not unlike something you’d see from Forage, makers of fine looking bow ties.

Ally: I had so much fun during our live chat that I almost forgot it was being broadcast across The Internets. I need to cut down on the swears. Indeed, the best line of the night was from Intern Krista who noted that Michelle Williams headband was similar to the one she donned while scrubbing her lou. I’m not the biggest fan of headbands on red carpets. There is a time and a place, this would not be one of them. Or maybe I just haven’t seen it done right.

My favourite of the night was Elle MacPherson.

I've been watching a lot of Say Yes to the Dress...not sure if that is relevant here.

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Wearing Zac Posen. Sure it looks a little wedding cake like, but I’m ok with that. She looks like she’s on a Red Carpet. Unlike Angelina Jolie who looked like she was going to a Parent Teacher Night in Upper Manhattan. Are you starting to figure out that L-A and I disagreed on a few things last night? Although I am totally on board with her assessment of Lea Michelle.

I also really liked Nicole Kidman’s dress. Which is difficult for me to say.

The absolute worst. I mean THE WORST, was Reese Witherspoon, who was also wearing Zac Posen. It reeked of desperation, and that really hurt me. That Reese Witherspoon is trying so desperately to be seen as a Megan Fox is a hit to society…something, something…I haven’t had a lot of coffee this morning. Really, though, does this not look like she is trying to compete with the Jennifer Lawrence’s?

OK, this photo surprisingly makes the dress look ok. It was not ok.

Source – all the images of Reese on Just Jared dot com are surprisingly decent. [L-A: Her PR folks must have shut that down and banned all bad photos. Because all shots from above or the side were a total trainwreck.]

Reese wasn’t the only one to try to pull off the Jennifer Lawrence Oscar 2011 look. Here it is for reference:

It was one of my favourite dresses from last year's Oscars. Flawless.

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Stacy “of George Clooney” Keibler (I don’t necessarily care if I spelt her last name correctly) also gave it the old college try:

She's done worse, lots worse, but still it was a fail.

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In my humble opinion, if you’re going to wear red on the red carpet you better be A List (That’s not you, Stacy) and you better own it.

Thoughts, readers? Who was your best/worst of the night? Hope you liked the live-blog!

I don’t know, right? Like, while other parents (ALLEGEDLY) were being turned away from seeing their kids in the NICU, Jay-Z was busy ensuring the baby’s wails would make it on a birth announcement track. With that said, I love the song.

What else made the love-it list this week?

Internal Snarking on the Fashion at the People’s Choice Awards

By internal snarking I mean talking and giggling to myself at 7:30am in my home office. Sometimes I really miss other people. I’m fun and all, but I can only laugh at my own jokes for so long. I had watched a little bit of the awards show on Wednesday night, but couldn’t stay up long enough to truly judge the “outfits”. So I hit up Google to see what I missed.

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS.

This is a big fear of mine. That I will be under the illusion that I can still wear mini-dresses at age 40 (is she 40?). This upsets me.

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It’s time for The Interpretive YouTube Video of the Week™ :

(Editors note: The Interpretive YouTube Video of the Week™ essentially describes what we are feeling at said time when reviewing an item – whether it be a person/thing/donkey. In this case, it means to say, “I think Carrie Preston looks a wee bit like she works at Cheetahs“)

If I were to be honest, which I always strive to be on Friday’s, I would disclose that this song has now been downloaded and resides on  my iPod next to Christina Aguilera’s, Dirrty. It’s been a weird week.

Carrie Preston was one of the least worst ones. Yay for grammar!

I’m no fan of Ashley Greene but…actually that’s it. That’s all I have to say. I’m no fan of Ashley Greene.

You cannot tell me there was nothing else she could have worn. Why would you DO that with leather?

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Leather and Lace aye, Ash? Bonus ass points for the fucking turtleneck. I just shake my head.

Even Kaley Cuoco, who I just adore, completely failed me.

Snort.

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It’s very Mother of the Bride in a Church Hall in Insert Small Town Name Here, Texas.

I’ve spent far too much time on this. If you would like to have a good laugh, or ensure nightmares for your Friday night bed rest click here for more damaging photos.

 Favourite Non-Crappy Video of the Week:

Over on Ben’s Facebook (He’s seriously getting a lot of airtime on FPQT lately. You other people need to raise the awesome), he flagged this video as one that best highlights Stacey Dash’s pretty.

Take note, Carrie Preston. This is how you do 40. Ben’s comment was…

This entire video is all about her pulling those sunglasses back down over her tears. DO MORE OF THIS, KANYE.

We will agree to agree on that.

And now we must end my segment of this blog post with our Crappy Pop Video of the Week

Remember earlier when I talked about embarrassment cringes? When you literally feel physical pain for someone’s lack of awareness? Let’s be real here, if you really saw these two driving down the street in a convertible singing out their windows would you not feel SO SORRY FOR THEM? This is not to say that I wouldn’t like to reenact this very scene on Spring Garden Rd in my Ford Focus with L-A, but we’re white girls in our thirties. It’s almost expected that we act like tools.

Obviously the song is on my iShuffle. Stop asking stupid shit.

P.S. Bonus Crappy Video of the Week

When watching BET’s The Pull Up with Toddler G we encountered the following hot mess:

Let me save you some precious time. Hit up the two minute mark. I’ll wait…

…Right?

WHAT IS SHE DOING? I mean, even on my worst home office days I don’t dance around in high heels and sweat pants. Ok, I do, but I don’t shoot a music video. It was poor parenting to let Toddler G watch this, but I couldn’t pull myself away from this insane dancing. I realized what I was letting him watch when he said, “Mommy, she dance like this” and he began kicking his legs up while laying on the floor. I seriously need to look into purchasing that Juicebox business.

L-A: I think we have Juicebox as a free preview. The Husband was all, “what the hell is this?” and my answer was, “It’s the music channel for preteens. Ally loves it.” He totally accepted that answer.

Anyway, two favourites this week and then I need some sleep:

1. ChocoCafé

How have I not spent more time in this place? I’ve been for a quick coffee to go, as it’s near to work, but today was the game changer. I walked away with a sample of some tasty chocolate (I don’t even know what I was eating…I just know it was good), delicious coffee that was worth the wait and a warm cookie. You read that right. A warm cookie. After ordering it, they asked if I’d like my cookie heated. And the answer was, of course, “Hells yes.” Followed by, “Why doesn’t every other cookie selling establishment offer to heat my cookies? This is genius!” I wrote Ally about the place after and confessed that if they sold booze, I’d probably never leave.

2. Carrie Bradshaw was a Stephanie Kaye wannabe

Okay, it’s no secret that I’m not a giant fan of the fictional character of Carrie Bradshaw (and any love I might have had was quashed by the horror that was the second movie). But shortly after writing about Stephanie Kaye as a random style icon I realized something: Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t some kind of fashion forward style icon. No, she was just taking her cues from a Canadian eighth grader in the late 80s. Need proof? Well, here it is, starting with one of their more studious outfits:

Stephanie’s got the old school, computer free library, Carrie’s got a laptop. But they’ve got the same outfit.

A little more definition to Carrie’s curls and a little less teasing, but they were both into the coloured eye shadow and the big hair.

Let’s just knot that blouse up and wear it with some denim.

Stephanie preferred the leggings as pants over the hot pants, but both ladies can agree on the tube top. And finally, my favourite, the crochet tank top:

BTDubs, that’s one episode of Degrassi Junior High. I bet if I watched more than just the first episode, I’d find even more. At least now I can rest easy that Patricia Field and the costume department of SATC wasn’t completely high when they chose Carrie’s wardrobe. No, they were just mesmerized by the awesome of Stephanie Kaye.

Okay, I promise I’ll stop now with the Stephanie Kaye and the mad style of Degrassi. At least for a little while.

And while I admire the rolled up sleeves and the sweater tied over the shoulders, that is not the look Stephanie Kaye would want us to be inspired by.

No, the real style of Stephanie Kaye lies in her wardrobe that is the muse of American Apparel.

You wear that top with leggings, of course.

Which brings us to a little something I like to call:

Style Lessons from Stephanie Kaye, Random Style Icon

She may have been dressing for 1987, but I bet a few of you wish you had some of her outfits. Actually, there are probably a lot of lessons we can learn from this girl. So let’s dig in and see what the most fashion forward eighth grader has for us. And we’re not kidding when we say she’s fashion forward. I mean, check out her former BFF:

Oh Voula…you are not making the lace and the cameo work for you. I mean, you could do it. I could see that as a seriously bithcing look if you paired it with a cute skirt, but I’m pretty sure you went floor length and paisley like it was 1887 instead of 1987. No funsies. Let’s move on…

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 1: go big or go home.

That hair takes time my friends. Time and a skilled backcomb. The eyeshadow to the brows? Not for amateurs.

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 2: mix your labels.

A little pastel American Apparel with a preppy skirt that could be vintage J. Crew? Don’t mind if I do!

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 2.5: this look is how you will snag a dude. or two.

We here at FPQT love a good lesson on how to snag a man in another decade (or century), so we thank Steph for the tips. How to snag a dude in the late 80s when you’re 13? Midriff + mini skirt (or leggings) + giggle. And if this is the kind of dude you’re looking for, you’re a winner.

(we may need to follow this up with “Joey Jerimiah, Random Style Icon”. I may leave that to the West Coast Bureau/Head of Menswear at FPQT).

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 3: all the way with gold lamé

Okay, so not actually lamé. But I like the rhyme. Either way, you want a glittery tank top to wear with your leggings. If your outfit says “Sandy from Grease goes bad meets Studio 54″, then you know you’re on the right track for an outfit to wear to the library.

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 4: a tube top is your best friend

Seriously friends. You can never go wrong with a good tube top.

Butterfly clip and tribal inspired jewelry? You make that shit work, Stephanie Kaye.

And how do you take a tube top and make it more awesome? A crochet tank top, that’s how.

Tuck one strap in, add  a studded belt that wraps around twice and you are golden. As a matter of fact, I have seen this before and no, I don’t mean back in 1987. I mean within the past year. The hair wasn’t quite as high, but the Steph Kaye vibes were there.

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 5: know when to tone it down

Don’t mess with four or more inch heels. When you’ve got hair that high, a top that low and a skirt that short, you’ve got to take it easy on the rest of your ensemble. Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Stephanie Kaye takes it easy(ish) on the accessories (considering it was the 80s, she could be decked out in a lot more) and goes doesn’t go too crazy with the shoes. A simple sandal-esque kitten heel will do just nicely. Let the rest of your outfit make the statement.

Stephanie Kaye style lesson 6: the 80s were hard y’all

There were perms and peasant skirts and blouses that could house an entire family of nomads. These were not easy times folks. It’s no wonder Stephanie Kaye was in search of a new image.

Bonus Style Lesson from Random Degrassi Girl: A beret, a bob and a snarl are always in style

While this post is all about Stephanie Kaye, I couldn’t just ignore this random girl in the crowd who would yell stuff about pre-feminism during episode 1, season 1 and hanging out with not even remotely ironic Trucker Cap L.D.. Seeing as I’m just a long strand of pearls from dressing like this, I had to share.

Bitch had swag. Way to rock the blazer and the beret. I question what appears to be gold makeup.