Fashion Pirate

my birthday blouse

2012-01-27T14:42:00.000-05:00

If you follow me on instagram (my username is fashionpirate, natch) and twitter you'll know that when I went to Opening Ceremony with Meagan I got myself a Rodarte (for OC) blouse. Well this is it! It was heavily on sale, just like many other pieces from the collection. I've got one of the dresses on my wishlist and it's within reach so I might buy one....or two. I really liked the collection, at least the pieces that are available in black. WESTERN GOTH DREAMZ.

This is admittedly a more risque piece for me to wear (boobies!) but I don't really care. I have some fashion tape and pasties so when I wear this out my ickle buds (ugly laughter) aren't saying hi to anybody.

Blouse: Rodarte for Opening Ceremony

Skirt: Thrifted (and seen before in this post, along with several others)

Saggy as all hell tights: I don't know. Probably Satan planted them in my drawer bc I hate them.

Clear Creepers: Some Halloween store online? $20. Also seen before on the blog.

P.S You can click on the images to make them bigger now, they won't link to Flickr. Progress!

parrots and zebras and curtains as dresses

2012-01-20T12:21:00.000-05:00

Ughhhh I forget how to pose for outfit photos. I'm just like "OK HOW DO I SMILE" and then I look at the photos and I have the same soulless smile in all of them oh well. At least I'm pretty. (And modest, too!) Oh yeah, I was boring and instead of going green like I'd planned in December I just redyed my hair purple. I'm so used to it now, it's like my natural hair color to me. Anyway, I wanted to take photos of this dress Meagan got for me at Opening Ceremony over the weekend when we went shopping. She is so so generous and lovely and one of my favorite people period, we have lots in common re: how we view fashion and the blogosphere, feminism and personal politics. I hope she moves to New York so we can hang out more, I miss her already.

Cardigan: Rodarte x Target, gift from Tavi

Dress: Opening Ceremony, gift from Meagan

Brown Jacket: Gift from my mom

Vintage Jacket: Gift from one of my HS teachers

When were were in OC we tried on a bunch of stuff, but we have very similar taste so the people helping us accidentally put everything we both wanted onto one rack/dressing room. It was funny. Anyway, I got myself a Rodarte top (you'll see in another post) and might go back for a dress but I'll wait until I have more saved up. Even if the sale discounts are really good I don't have $$$$ to spend every week. I've been really bad with temptation this month. But I haven't purchased any new clothes in....man, I honestly can't even remember how long. Maybe since....November. I have enough clothes, and I've been focusing my style to a very specific point, and I have everything I need and can afford to achieve the style I want at the moment, so I haven't felt the need to buy new stuff.

Anyway, I hope I did the dress justice in these photos, for Meagan stipulated that I had to take LOTS of photos in it if she were to buy it for me. So I did and these are the best ones I think. You'll see me in it a lot though -- I have a bagillion ideas as to how to wear it. So happy. Thank you thank you thank you! I have the sweetest and most generous friends.

you need to know the rules before you can break them.

2012-01-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

I am uncomfortable with the big elephant of privilege in the blogosphere. So I am trying to think of ways to acknowledge and subvert it in my own blog without being a hater to the girls that I support and love who also blog but who also perpetuate the bubble of privilege that makes reading fashion blogs not very enjoyable anymore. I mean I acknowledge I have that privilege, too -- I am white-appearing, cisgendered, don't read particularly "QUEER" if people are stupid enough to judge by appearance, 'straight sized', I am in an area where I am afforded every opportunity to shop where I choose because there are plenty of places I like to shop near me that I can afford and that have things I want and I can fit into most everything I try, and I get sent things that otherwise I may not be able to afford, by very generous friends, followers, and stores. And I work as a writer and 'blogger' and get paid for it occasionally by sponsors and editors so I can afford things if I save up. I know I have privilege myself when it comes to being a blogger.

But then again, I am not a rich person, I don't get as many opportunities as some other bloggers because I'm not quite as marketable (also I'm terrible with answering emails at a reasonable time) and I've turned down things many times, for many reasons, and I'm okay with all that. I think and hope you all trust me and my opinion and why I blog. I am just contemplating what it means to have integrity but also individual freedom to market myself. You can't make bank on pride, you know? I don't know if what I am writing is making sense. I hope so. I've been in this hard place for awhile. I just don't like the feeling that I have this power to affect change and help people and make people less lonely while also making them feel like they're only going to have a good blog, only get where they want in the world if they do x things, look x way, buy x things, take pictures x ways, x times a week, write x way. I think I am doing a disservice to you now by saying you can only be a successful fashion blogger by being 'yourself'. I think we all know that is kind of bullshit, now. Successful fashion bloggers, they/we have this unwritten glossy standard now, and it's tiring. I am tired. I have realized I am not tired of blogging, but by the rules of fashion blogging that have silently creeped up on us, the rules we have kind of invented for ourselves. I wonder how and when it happened, really, and how can we actively change it without making everyone change if they don't have to. I wonder if enough people care.

What I'm saying is that I am, as I've said before, tired of playing by the rules. I have played by them, I have gotten this far by them and by making them accommodate me and my personality and my style, but meh. Enough is enough. I don't think fashion blogging is enjoyable enough a pursuit for me to keep blogging if I'm gonna keep trying to accommodate a certain style of blogging I'm not into, anyway. I dunno what my resistance will be, in what form it will take on this blog, other than this long winded declaration. I guess I'm gonna do whatever I want and I hope you're gonna go along for the ride. I'd like to know if you feel the same about where the blogosphere is going. Do you like where fashion blogging is at the moment? Does it alienate you too? I wanna know your thoughts.

Talk to you soon.

happy birthday

2012-01-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

Continuation of the shoot I posted the other day. Everything is vintage and/or thrifted with the exception of these shoes, which were gifts from Filthy Magic, and you can get a 15% discount off your order using the code FASHIONPIRATE I think.

Styling and modeling: Me.

Makeup and Hair: Candice Crawford

Photography: Meagan Cignoli

It's the blogs 4th birthday today! And my 19th. It's been a journey, hasn't it? Thank you for taking it with me, old visitors and new. I've got a deeper post planned that will be setting the tone for the next year in blogging for me -- call it a manifesto -- and that'll come on Monday. For now I'm just happy to be where I am, which is away from the computer, with friends, surrounded by clothes and music and lots of wine. Hope you're having a blast. Ehugz and lots of love.

Belle

rainbow blood and sequin horns

2012-01-11T10:00:00.000-05:00

A few months ago -- okay more than a few, time flies -- I got together with an amazingly talented photographer and makeup artist and we did two different shoots in one day. Here are photos from one of them. Details will be running on the makeup and hair over at powderdoom later on in the week (to be determined, our queue is always changing). I'm so happy how they came out, and so in awe of Meagan and Candice's work.

I don't want to SPOIL YOU ALL and show you all of the photos at once, so here are the few of several. It was super fun to do this shoot, I used all of my own wardrobe and just wore stuff I do usually. This is one of my favorite outfits to wear, actually. All of it is vintage and/or thrifted, with the exception of the shoes, which are from some sex store ($40 steez) and the clips, which are from ban.do that they kindly let me borrow for the shoot and was sad to send back.

The purpose of this particular shoot was just to have fun, start with a blank canvas and bring it -- and my outfit choices -- into life and color. We started off with a essentially a very white outfit, plainer hair, then built up the color palette of my clothes and the makeup and the hair and I went to town with paint. It was really, really fun, and I still have the canvass somewhere in my house. That blazer still has some orange paint on one of the cuffs as a fond reminder.

Styling and modeling: Me.

Makeup and Hair: Candice Crawford

Photography: Meagan Cignoli

Anyway, the blogs 4 year anniversary is around the corner -- Saturday! -- and also my 19th birthday -- also Saturday, lolz. I'll put up some more photos from the shoot then, and also a surprise for you. :) Thanks for sticking around.

rest and you rest

2012-01-02T14:16:00.001-05:00

I don't consider myself a particularly romantic person. I don't like to obsess over my past and how it was better than what I'm stuck in now. I think nostalgia can be a weakness sometimes. If you dwell on the past you aren't fully living in the present, you know? I've talked about this before I think, it's a recurring theme here whenever I get 'serious'. I've often been accused of being stuck in my own head too much, thinking about the future. The future is romantic to me, not the past. I've been restless lately, mostly because since I'm not at school I don't have a set schedule so I mostly sit around, play with makeup, read, watch movies (I'm doing a 365 film challenge right now), shop. Shopping and makeup has kind of consumed the part of my life normally reserved for fashion blogging, maybe 'cause it's so simple in comparison. I'm almost tired of it though. It can get exhausting wanting things so consistently, so frequently, all of the time, something new, something else. You shouldn't invest too much in material things but I do it. I don't know. It's an obsessive habit. I'm an obsessive person. I didn't get to (almost) 4 years of internet narcissism by being anything less than obsessive.

2011 was a good year for me. 2010 I had a shit college experience and bad luck in general, 2011 I found people I love and relate to, I now live in a safe space, surrounded by people I love and care for, and I had the opportunity to be part of some really cool things. 2012 looks to be a little scarier, because I'm finally growing up, dealing with real people problems, planning some big trips where I'll be by myself most of the time -- Taipei, LA, maybe London -- and it's scary but exciting. I can't stay a kid forever. I sometimes miss the naivete of being a child and not getting into arguments about racism or politics or whatever, but really, I don't regret growing up at all. The world is changing and so am I. I don't know into what, and I won't ever be done changing, but it's happening. I'm a little softer than I once was to people, because I realize they will not put up with my shit (nor should they). I cry more during movies. I cry less over people. I get things done faster, because I know two hours of hard work beats 3 days of 10 minute half assed work. I write more and do more and am understanding it's okay to be by myself all the time but I have friends that care about me and I need to treat them with as much love as they deserve and stop being a lazy fucker. There's this saying, "rest and you rust."

I've rested long enough.

once again... not dead!!!

2011-12-25T15:31:00.001-05:00

I don't feel like blogging about fashion at the moment, I've got other things on my mind like Harry Potter and makeup and how this year has turned out for me. So no fake apologies about not blogging, I don't miss fashion blogging at the moment, the tripods and the self timing and hours of editing....I need to figure out what makes me love fashion blogging again. Because I do love fashion, but I'm very disinterested in advertising my personal style right now mostly because I don't have any right now lol. I've minimized my current wardrobe to like, six pieces, which I suppose I will post about in due time, I need to introduce you all to my favorite items anyway, I think you guys would like that kind of post, right?

Anyway, I dunno. Blogging about my outfits seems a bit stale to me -- outfit posts are just you know, so polished and I'm not interested in being polished at the moment. And I'm not really inspired at the moment re: fashion blogosphere wise, it's all very like, I don't know, typical. The trendy pieces are everywhere and I don't mind that, but it's getting harder to find something I feel a real connection to so I'm going to bury my head into the darkness and try to find something that means something to me again fashion wise. Reacquaint myself with strange designs, read myself Alexander McQueen quotes to sleep. Watch weird films that fuck with my emotions until I feel brittle with the possibilities the world has to offer. I am in the mood to reinvent myself again, time to move on. Restless as usual. So, yeah, this is another filler post, oh well.. Instead I'll leave you with this tutorial I filmed a little while ago!

Kay. Bye.

im not dead

2011-12-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

HI I'M NOT DEAD DO YOU REMEMBER WHO I AM??

No but seriously I'm not dead I've just been busy filming and stuff and wrapping up this semester. You should check up my makeup blog for more updates I'm not going to be posting any outfits until at least the 17th. I am changing up my hair color soon that is going to be super fun.

Miss u love youuuuu

xoxoxox

bhon

2011-11-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

Into that black dress, and it's affordable. I just want a bagillion black dresses you guys. A BAGILLION. The sister duo behind Bhon makes super comfortable jersey blend outfits, it's exactly the thing I've been wanting to wear. Lately I've just been in jersey black things with chunky red knits and tweed, I love it. Into what they've been doing.

Wither Dress $180

secretary of witchcraft and solitude

2011-11-28T10:00:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update to let you know I changed my hair. I hadn't cut it in a year. Feels much lighter. I think my style will probably change accordingly, my makeup routine has modified a lil already! But we'll see see. Here is a pointless video for your time.

meow mix

2011-11-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

God you can really tell how badly I need a haircut, can't you? Lions mane of frizz and uneven layers from when I thought it was a good idea to chop off the split ends myself. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to hair. I do like how strangely the color faded though. It's a dye job that doesn't know what it wants.

Another page in the "Arabelle only likes to wear black and pretend she's a cat" book that is my life. When I saw this cat skirt on Emerging Thoughts I screamed IRL at my computer. Obviously it had to make its way into my wardrobe, and I am very glad that it did (thank you ET!!). I paired it with my favorite black fuzzy close cut sweater and a blouse my girlfriend and I found at Goodwill in October. We mostly got it for the collar, which is beautiful, but I actually like the blouse itself so haven't had the heart to cut the collar off and use it individually. Maybe later.

I'm really into all of the designs from Vivetta (the brand this skirt is from), it's super cutesy but not in a one dimensional saccharine kind of way.

Love Lace Shirt. I want it sooo badly you guys.

Lamp Skirt. Reminds me of my favorite Luella collection. I wish it came in a red tartan and black lace, that would go so well with my current wardrobe of goth lolita wednesday addams schtick.

Since this is going up Wednesday, you're probably getting ready for Thanksgiving and Black Friday. What are your plans for BF? I don't think I'll brave the crowds, but there are some mighty fine deals at Sephora I'm kind of contemplating. What about you?

diamonds and pearls

2011-11-21T13:47:00.001-05:00

Been wearing this outfit pretty much nonstop because I'm lazy and it seems misleadingly complicated. I think if I had a pleated leather skirt I would probably wear that with it, switch out this dress for the skirt, but you know, I don't really need any other article of clothing right now.. don't need much at all. Just some nice films and friendly conversation with people I love and miss.

Did I tell you guys I'm getting contacts? I spent like the entire week last week trying to put my sample ones in and gave up until like, a few hours before my doctors appointment, and then I got my sample ones in!! They're ordering my new ones so I should have them by after Thanksgiving break. I still prefer glasses over contacts -- these just suit me, I think -- but it will be a nice change I guess, for when I want to wear super OTT makeup looks.

Speaking of makeup, thank you so much for the warm reception powder doom has been receiving on tumblr! Chi-Chi and I are so so thankful everyone loves the blog, and we're trying to figure out how to say thank you properly for the Holiday season. ♥♥♥ Thank you twenty thousand times.

2011-11-19T16:04:00.001-05:00

I haven't been thinking about my style lately, just how to keep warm, and thus there haven't been many outfit posts. I am kind of just watching a lot of movies -- I watched Stealing Beauty last night, and was reminded how my ideal person is Liv Tyler mixed with Eva Green, but then that ideal person would be too perfect to even acknowledge my existence probably. Anyway.

Now that I'm thinking about how to dress for when the weather gets colder, I'm kind of excited for the challenge. I mean it would be really easy to dress in dark velvet and tights and big chunky scarves, and I will probably do so a lot, but I am very happy with where I am style wise, with a restricted palette of white and red and black and silver, leather and white cotton and black mohair. It's my favorite thing, really, that limited selection of texture and color. I'm going to try to find a way to make only a few pieces last me the entire winter, in different combinations, and I'll have to go hunting for good basic things that will match what I already have. Finding perfect basics at a thrift store is hard!! I guess that's what Zara and H&M is for, but I don't really shop anywhere but Goodwill and I don't feel like making the trek to a mall to deal with the bustle just for a shirt, you know?

And I'm about to chop my hair off and/or bleach it, I haven't really decided what I'm going to do with it, I just need a change. I haven't cut my hair in over a year and it's just ridiculous. Toying with the idea of bleaching it and being all purple again, but I dread the upkeep and don't mind roots ... I'm just not ready to let go of purple, which will probably happen if I just chop it off the way I kind of want to do. There is something liberating in cutting my hair drastically, it just shreds up the femininity in me. The prettiest thing about me is my hair I think, and when I cut it off the very first time and dyed it I felt like a new person. That is one of my favorite things to feel, like I have a new start. But I can't decide if I want a new start or not. I like where I am, I am happy, it is a quiet happiness, but it's still something better than boredom. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm happy or not or if I'm just waiting for something else. You know that feeling?

ss01 olivier theyskens

Anyway, I hope your Thanksgiving week is super awesome and you gorge yourself on cranberry jelly (MY FAVE THING ABOUT THANKSGIVING YOU GUYS). Keep warm and stuff! I will try to update more because blogging makes me happy and all that. X.

wishlist version: me but more

2011-11-11T19:08:00.000-05:00

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 - all from farfetch

Another page for my wishlist series. Things that I've been staring at lately. Of course I can't afford a sleeve of anything of these things, but it's a good jumping off point for hunting for things. I think I do a good enough job translating my dream wardrobe into my real life, though, and what is funny about this wishlist is that it's really just more expensive versions of what I already have in my closet. Just goes to show you what you have is more than enough. Here are some blog versions of these pieces for reference, you should be able to click the photos to see the original posts:

This shade of green is my favorite color, though I have only one item in it. Naturally I gravitated like a moth to a flame when I saw this ODLR dress. I think people who don't know me as well wouldn't think I'd like this dress -- or anything Oscar, but I do follow his collections pretty closely and one of my biggest vintage regrets is not swiping up this plaid ODLR dress when I should have. Still haunts me.

Not a direct translation of the CDG half-jacket, but I think it is quite similar and it is also CDG so maybe I cheated but WHATEVER OK.

I don't have $5000+ to spend on that perfect Valentino dress, but this vintage dress is one of my favorite items of clothing and was the first ever vintage dress I really obsessed over, and it was a gift from my favorite local vintage shop when I first started blogging. Meika (one of the owners) just had a birthday the other day, I've got to drop by and wish her a happy birthday. :)

So what are you obsessing over right now? Any splurges lately?

keep breathing and breathing and breathing

2011-11-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

Another day of armor. It feels very fall, yes? I wanted to take this out before it got too cold to wear.

Vintage Tulle Peplum Jacket @ Goodwill / Comme des Garcons FW2008 Dress / Thrifted Striped Shirt / DIY Halfassed Facial Expression

I like this jacket because it reminds me of that iconic Yohji jacket.

I think I would wear my jacket much more / like it more if the shoulders weren't so weird -- they're kind of bulbous because of shoulder pads but even if I removed the shoulder pads, the actual sleeves are cut strangely and I'm not good enough at sewing to feel comfortable taking the jacket apart. I am no Luxirare. I DIY things like sweater skirt and whatever but I hardly ever sew things into being permanent, I tie up, I clip, I button in such a way that things can always be moved back to the way they were before, I like it better that way. I am terrified of DIY disasters!! Do you have any stories to validate my fear?

this is my armor and you can't chip it

2011-11-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

Sooo a change in scenery seems to be in order! I love the basement but the lighting completely sucks and the dorm maintenence crew likes to creep by and judge me a lot so I moved for today. I like it! Reminds me of my bedroom back home but I have way more room here. I noticed how much my last couple of outfits on the blog kind of blend together, and IRL they don't, but my favorite outfits usually are in this palette and with variations of this jacket or that skirt and that top. My roommate has more clothing than me in the dorm! No one understands it but it's because I have narrowed down my clothes. I mean I have an obscene amount of clothing, like, 4 closets technically, but I decided to only bring what I love and can't live without and it's surprisingly very little. And I haven't been compelled to buy anything recently, because what I want is very specific and I don't want to buy anything less than my dream items.

I actually get into arguments with my roommate (in a good way, we're very good friends from High School. I think she was one of the first people I bothered telling I was homo? I was never in the closet I guess if you were to think about it, because I never realized being straight meant you couldn't think about girls....derp) about clothes a lot. Like, she has so much more of it at our dorm -- her closet is twice as full as mine -- but she dislikes it more and doesn't wear probably 80% of it. The way she gets dressed is a lot different from mine, and the way she approaches clothing is much different than how I approach it. Granted, I approach style, fashion, and just getting dressed differently every day because I don't feel like the same person on a day by day basis. I used to use it as a means to purposely differentiate myself and have fun and get around my school dress code and just revel in direct translations of my inspirations, but now I don't think so much about it.

For the first few years that I got into fashion I used to scorn people who wore really basic, black outfits, etc, and swore I'd always "be ~unique~" and whatever that shit but now I think I feel most myself in simpler compositions and palettes. I mean, I am totally happy wearing colorful outfits (I am a color queen, let there be NO DOUBT) but whenever I feel very unsure of myself or even just very happy, just in general very something -- I always return to the sentiment that my favorite clothes are my armor and my friends. They will never fail me. And most of my favorite clothes just happen to be darker and have richer textures and are very delicate and strange. Clothes give me agency where talking often fails. I've become very introverted and introspective in the past few years and my favorite films and my favorite songs and my favorite clothes got me through. I can be a feminist and also love fashion because I believe that your style and how you approach the industry and dissect and create the media can give you agency, give you a voice, give you strength. Passion in any form, like getting dressed (even if that is a simple form), just says that I am here and that I exist and I am not ashamed.

2011-10-31T15:00:00.000-04:00

You guys know how I feel about big, shiny colorful statement necklaces from my previous accessories post [Neck Me]. Really into this designer, Allison Hessert, and specifically this piece on Closetista. I like morbid skull and bones things to adorn my fingers if I even bother putting on jewelry (I don't as much anymore), so I also like her Lone Star Skull Ring. Reminds me of my dad's Lone Star painting he has above his bed that used to creep me out as a child but now I love as dearly as any of the other weird things we have in our house.

I realized how much I love dark, creepy spaces the other day, probably because they remind me of home.. We have a lot of antiques and weird furniture in our house (you might remember previous outfit posts in my living room which oddly resembles a pirate ship) and the living room doesn't get the best light so a lot of the time, all of the pretty things are cast in shadows or in complete darkness. I don't find it creepy, I dunno, I find darkness kind of gleeful. I am more productive at night, too. Essentially, I am a vampire and I am going to kill you. Fear me!!!!

Have a nice Halloween you guys.

psychobabble and witchery

2011-10-26T13:18:00.000-04:00

So. much. to. do. My google calendar is my bible and guiding light, I honestly don't know how I'd live without it organizing and reminding me of my deadlines and class schedule and all the jazz. How's your October been? I've been on my feet the whole month - back and forth from the city to class, documentary editing (UGH) and watching documentaries with friends (YAY), zining and basement shows, midterm papers, endless exams. Sleep is for the lucky, not the weak. I'm super excited for this weekend though, Halloween is the best holiday and I couldn't wait to get into the witchy spirit because it's kind of my vibe on a daily basis anyway and I can just be even more witchy now and be considered festive. What're you guys being for All Hallows Eve? I hope you're having fun. I'm doing a new zine on sexuality and invisibility I'll probz put online when I'm done, I think you guys will like it.

See you soon! x

Tulle Jacket: Goodwill. Rodarte Sequin Dress: Goodwill Striped Tights: IDK Red Glittery Shoes: Sex store? Can't remember which.

things that happened

2011-10-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

one of my favorite and most precious ladies came to visit.

i occupied wall street. we marched on the brooklyn bridge. a post for another time, i think.

been obsessed with this dress from emerging thoughts.

page from an unfinished zine.

i went to slutwalk. i left more disappointed than energized, looking back on it.

Busiest two weeks in like, ages -- busier than fashion week, even. My SD card broke so no outfit posts for a bit, have no fear! Where there is a will there is a way.

VARDØGER

2011-10-06T00:02:00.009-04:00

['ʋɑːɾdøːgəɾ]: is a spirit predecessor, from Norwegian folklore. Stories typically include instances that are nearly déjà vu in substance, but in reverse, where a spirit with the subject's footsteps, voice, scent, or appearance and overall demeanor precedes them in a location or activity, resulting in witnesses believing they've seen or heard the actual person, before the person physically arrives.

Based on/ varroa mites/deformed wing virus & sacbrood virus/

mending/ biomorphism/ unconscious memories/

Chiharu Shiota & Lee Buls installations has also inspired & intrigued me to discover and approach

the possibilities of connections towards nature and the human form, in a way of uncertain perception.

Shot in LA before I transplanted to London. Following the film, lookbook photos will be posted shortly.

there is no magic word for how i feel

2011-09-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

Thrifted Shirt, Vintage Leather Shorts, c/o Rebecca Minkoff Bag, c/o Steve Madden Silver Oxfords, Zana Bayne Harness. It looks like I have a weird rash on my leg but IT'S THE PHOTO FILTER I SWEAR OK

I was initially reluctant to talk about it (uhm, my being queer) on FP.... it's not that I was ever in the closet, or hiding it from the internet, but FP is a personal style blog and most of my random talking falls into my tumblr. But I have been getting dozens of tumblr asks and emails talking about femme invisibility lately and lesbian self doubt, being uncomfortable with labels, et all and I guess the short of it all is that I've been there too, and I am still there. Being un-straight is hard. For anyone who doesn't identify as strictly heterosexual, we constantly deal with labels, with coming out, with finding others like us, with presentation, with whatever. It is kind of like falling over yourself in the dark, over and over again. Everyone deals with wondering who they like, I guess, but for a lot of queer kids it's not just wondering who they like, but how to translate your feelings about people into a word. Just like, a single word.

Straight kids won't ever have to do that, because their sexuality is normal, represented everywhere, all the time. That is their privilege. They are lucky to have that. Good for them.

Privilege is not something to be ashamed of, and I don't hate straight people, or anyone with privilege.....not on the basis of them having privilege, anyway. It is just imperative that those with privilege acknowledge it. That, of course, is the funny thing about privilege: it's privilege because you don't notice it. It's just there. You don't wonder about it. You don't question it. You dismiss it as the way the world works. Queer kids will never have straight privilege, not in this system, not in this society, not how it is right now, but I mean, it's getting better. But we're still operating under a system where there is one normal, and everyone else is just that: someone else. The other. Queer kids fall into that category.

Now I don't mind being the 'other', and that is perhaps because I don't "look" gay. I don't "look" gay enough to get bullied, I am too femme for people to be like, "look at that dyke," or for people to come up to me and say they've always wanted a gay best friend, or any of that stuff. In fact, lots of people don't realize I'm queer at all. That, you could say, is it's own form of privilege.

I didn't realize there was a word that fit me for a long, long, time. And sometimes there are days that I feel alienated all over again, and I sit lost in thought shuffling through the words that are available: queer, fairy, lesbian, gay, homo, dyke, fag, etc trying to find something that has a ring of meaning to me in it and I can't find anything and I just give up. I do! And I think that is ok. It's scary and weird sometimes, not having a magic word that encompasses who I like, how much I like them, how I like them, and all that stuff the word "heterosexual" or "homosexual" entails, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's different.

I think we fear that if there isn't a word to describe us, that it means we don't exist or that something is wrong with us as functioning human beings. But there isn't anything wrong with us, it's the system that is fucked. We're changing it though, by talking about it, by acknowledging that it's fucked, that is has to be better, because we have got so much to lose and so much more to gain.

There are so many more things I'd like to talk to you about, and I will, but for now I just wanted to get this out first. I was at my college QSA meeting the other night and we all discussed this exact topic and I wanted to write down my thoughts, so that people who weren't there but want to talk about these things know they are being talked about, and we can talk about it together if you want. This is so, so long, sorry!!!! Anyway. Thank you, love you, bye.

Aminimal

2011-09-24T15:00:00.000-04:00

Video from the Closestista website.

I'm really into the methodology behind Aminimal's rings and jewelry, it's super nerdy slash awesome, I'm kind of bummed I can't find their sterling silver rings anywhere on the internet, I want one! I'm not much of a ring person, or for that matter, a jewelry person.... I wear a watch and that is about it. But I like the organic meets technological feel their jewelry has. I'm not good at describing things, so I pulled their bio:

One of Aminimal’s signature materials is nylon that is printed into shapes using a SLS 3D printer. The production may be minimal, even industrial, but the end result is hardly sterile. Each piece is first created using a computer program that Briscella and Blum experiment with and manipulate before reaching the final incarnation of the design.

Pumpkin Ring

Who's your favorite jewelry designer? Do you go for $$$ or cheap tricks? I lose rings a lot, and am very picky, but they have nylon rings (??!) and they're like $25 and they're really cool so I might buy one.

Mistress Wednesday

2011-09-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

Coach Poppy Bag, Vintage Dress c/o Another Mans Treasure, Vivienne Westwood x Melissa Anglomania Shoes

Fall is here!!! We're still in the transition stages so I can't layer properly yet, but I'm very happy with being able to wear sleeved things and dark lacy things without sweating to death now. This is just what I wore Monday, but obviously since my influence was Wednesday Addams (as it always is, I mean really), I decided to show you all today. For those who asked, this is actually a room in my dorm. No one is ever in it when I'm in it, so I get to sit down and draw and do whatever and write on the walls if I so desire. My happy place. There are other rooms around the building that are like this, but this is the best one, I think.

Been swamped with work, can't say I mind though. One day at a time, right? So tired, so much homework. And I've been thinking about sexuality like, 24/7 for the past few weeks, it's a really frustrating topic and I can't really escape it, particularly since I'm queer and femme and in order to find my place in my college I have to constantly come out and it's not always the experience I expect or want it to be. Oh well, more on that later. How are your classes going?

concept korea

2011-09-20T10:00:00.000-04:00

The Concept Korea presentation at Fashion Week was probably one of the last things I went to (I can't exactly remember, my memory is fuzzy from the busy schedule and the perpetual hangover I had, WOOPS) but it was also my favorite, at least concerning an introduction to new and inspiring designers. Granted, all of the designers who presented at CK were not exactly new -- they'd been designing for several years, if not decades, but they were new to me, which counts.

First up is Son Jung Wan, whose presentation was based upon 90's relaxed silhouettes with a dash of 50's glamour. I loved the blue she used in her collection, that rich, vibrant blue is one of my favorite colors and I think it adds a lot to the collection overall, which is primarily pastel in a variety of soft, airy fabrics. Not my favorite collection of the night, but still a good one.

Next up is Doho, which felt like a very faerie collection to me, something that a Fae would wear while she danced around in the clouds and plotted how to keep Sookie in their grasps forever (also, fuck this season of True Blood.). I loved the hair, I loved the fact there was a lot of intense textures going on but it never felt heavy, but I would probably not wear any of it. I'd like to see some of the pieces incorporated into different looks, to see how they translate into different styles.

The next group was, I think, Steve J & Yoni P.... I can't really be sure who designed it, woops. I can't find the name on the presentation stand and the collections aren't on the website, so I'm just making an educated guess: it's a more laid back collection with 'hippie' urban influences, etc. My favorite outfit was the suit, I would wear it to death because I'm a firm believer that more is more. Overall it felt a bit discombobulated.

My favorite collection overall was hands down Lie Sang Bong though, I have his resume/lookbook/thing on my nightstand because I keep flipping through it. There is nothing I didn't like about this collection, nothing that I wouldn't want to wear. Architectural, vibrant, shamelessly intricate and modern but not cold. So, so good.

I'm a big fan of the hair and makeup, too, I wrote about it on PD already. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS AWESOME.

Sang Bong has done a lot of really impressive, super rad collaborations (Blythe Dolls! LG phones!) and I'm really looking forward to seeing his next collections, and this one in photoshoots. Gotta happen, it's too good to just disappear.

street style from fashion week

2011-09-16T10:00:00.000-04:00

I was sitting on the steps at LC in between shows, kinda bored by the street style but then I whipped my head around for no reason at all and BOOM, Pamela Reed in cat tights and dreamy shoes! I zoomed in on her as a kindred spirit and creepily asked to take her photos, and then someone started taking photos of me taking her picture, and it was all very strange but I'm very happy I took her picture because it was nice to see someone who I could relate to style wise at the tents. I mean, I've been eyeing those tights by Celeste Stein for a million years, and I'm super into her Y-3 shoes. Pamela was super sweet and we share a deep love for cats, as you can tell. . :) Yay nice people.