Fast Forward Girl

Guest Post!!!

2012-02-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

The wonderful Beka from a Blog by B* asked me to write a guest post for her blog about one of my absolute favorite things........ my handsome husband! I'm so glad she asked me to write this post, and I thoroughly enjoyed sitting down and writing all about this amazing man who spends his days loving me!

Head on over HERE to read my post!

It's a whole lotta LOVE and it's just in time to get you all sapped up for Valentine's Day ;)

Oh, and while you're over there, spend some time browsing Beka's blog! She's an incredible woman of God who has made some inspiring commitments in her life. She encourages me every time she posts and her blog is DEFINITELY one worth following!

12 Days of Sick

2012-02-08T06:15:00.000-08:00

12 days. That's how long there has been sickness in our house. It all started when Bryan and I went away for our 4th wedding anniversary in the last weekend of January. We got back after a lovely, romantic, amazing night away (sans kids!) to a phone call that sweet Peyton had spent the night throwing up :( No fun! The poor thing was lethargic all day and I couldn't help but feel guilty that I hadn't been there for my baby during her first ever stomach flu! We spent the week focusing on Peyton's recovery and also bleaching the house in hopes that no one else would get the virus. Late Thursday night Peyton woke up coughing uncontrollably, and still to this day hasn't stopped. She has a terrible cold that keeps her from even being able to sleep well, and her normally loud and precocious little voice has been replaced by a hoarse little squeak :( On Friday evening, Britany started throwing up. My poor little baby! She was so confused about what was going on and wanted momma even more than usual. She was thankfully on the mend by the next morning, but woke up on Monday with the same cough as big sister. Last night I got the flu bug and was up all night with the absolute WORST stomach pains I think I've ever had (besides when I had gall stones, of course!) Being 30 weeks pregnant and sick is a wicked combination.

So that's why I've been MIA. Caring for a sick family, and now caring for my sick self. My sweet husband (who woke up this morning with the girl's bad cough!) stayed home from work today so that I could recover and I'm so thankful. I can barely stand up straight let alone care for my babies today. I am praying that my body recovers quickly and that our whole family will be back to normal very soon! Please keep us in your prayers, if you think of us. It has been a nasty sick season over here and we're very ready to be well and to get out and enjoy the sunshine that has been pouring over our area these past few days!

Oh! I wrote a guest post while I was gone for one of my favorite bloggy women! Stay tuned! I'll be sure to link you all up as soon as it's posted :) I'm excited about it... it's about one of my very, very favorite topics!

Liebster Award!!!

2012-01-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

Thanks Haley @ For Everything there is a Season for nominating me for the Liebster Blog Award! It's an award given to blogs with less than 200 followers who the giver thinks deserve a little more recognition! Thank you Haley for recognizing Fast Forward Girl for this award!!!

Here are the rules:

1) Show your thanks by linking the sweet person who nominated you.

2) Leave links to 5 of your top blogs and leave a comment letting them know!

3) Post the award on your blog.

4) Enjoy the Love :)

I'm giving this award to five blogs that I love to ~~stalk~~ read!

1. Rachel @ Semantics of Shalom This is my beautiful sister in law! She is wife to my brother in law, Chris and mother to my 2 beautiful nieces Ariella Sophia & Jocelyn Michelle. Rachel challenges me with her writing and her beautiful heart. I'm so bummed that we live far away from each other because I'm blessed to call this lovely lady a sister of mine!

2. Laura @ One. Step. at. a. Time. This pretty lady has been a BFF of mine since......... I think fourth grade?! I admire her strong love for God and her ever bubbly personality! I have so many beautiful and crazy memories and inside jokes with this girl and I love that through blog world we've been able to keep in touch despite the fact that we're now in different States! It's so important to have people with whom you go wayyy back. Good for the soul :)

3. Chana @ More than Diamonds I've recently gotten addicted to this beautiful woman's blog! I love clicking over to her blog for fun fashion ideas! She has her own unique sense of style and I've found myself challenged to take a few new risks with my wardrobe thanks to her classy way of being adventurous with her style! I love how fashion forward she is while still honoring God with her clothes! And c'mon, what girl doesn't love a few new wardrobe ideas? You might find yourself resurrecting an old piece in a new way thanks to Chana's creative suggestions!

4. Emily @ Amazing Grapes I've gained a fast friend in this amazing woman! She has such awesome life experiences and I love how refreshingly honest her blog is. She also has a great knack for making me laugh :) I'm constantly learning something from her, and I often find myself living vicariously through some of her experiences! She's so relateable and fun!

5. Sarah @ Playing House This woman is an inspiration! She has 2 young kiddos who she is raising while her hubby is away serving our country! Sarah and I have so much in common and I love reading her blog because I feel like we're chilling in sweats on her couch just chatting! She looks like seriously the most fun mom ever and her 2 cuties, Peyton (yup!) and Vandis are lucky little kiddos for sure!

I hope you enjoy checking out these five wonderful blogs!!! Give them some love!

And P.S. Thank you all so much for your outpouring of love, support and comments on my last post! I appreciate each and every comment made and I felt so encouraged by reading them! This motherhood journey is truly a wild ride, but it's one that is so rewarding in so many ways!

Unashamed.

2012-01-11T05:05:00.000-08:00

"Are they BOTH yours?" The host at Applebee's fairly cringed when I walked in the door with my one year old on my hip and my 2 year old in tow. My coat slipped open as I bent over to wipe my daughter's nose.
"OH MY GOD!" He exclaimed. "You're PREGNANT!"
"Yup." I responded, really just wanting him to do his job and take me to a table rather than gawking over my reproductive choices.
"Well, you've been busy" He turned on his heel and led us to a table in the back-- furthest from any other customers. I sighed in relief when he walked away, settling into my booth and getting my children situated in the booster seat and high chair provided.
"Hey I'm Nick. I'll be your server today." I look up and see the same host who brought us to our table. Great. He's going to be my waiter. Well, maybe he's gotten all his gawking out of the way and now he'll just take my order and get on with it.
"So you look awfully young to have so many kids. How old are you anyway?" No such luck. Uh oh. He's not done.
"I'm 22."
"WHOA! You ARE young! That is just crazy. So, I mean, why?" Why? Really? Does he really want to get personal? Should I launch into a 10 minute explanation of the fact that I'm super fertile and seem to fall pregnant as easily as I blink my eyelids? Should I tell him how most women stop ovulating while they're breastfeeding but my body continues to have a cycle, meaning that I become fertile again very shortly after delivering my babies? Should I tell him that I'm not all that comfortable with hormonal forms of birth control and that in my research I've found that the ways in which it prevents pregnancy are questionable at best and contradict my views on life and its very value? Should I just laugh him off and tell him I like sex? Should I get angry with him and just tell the kid to mind his own business and serve me my lunch? Should I call security?

I'm ashamed to say I didn't have a good answer for him. To be honest, he caught me off guard. I gave him some ridiculous answer about wanting to have my kids close together so they'd grow up close. True, but not the best thing I could have said, I'm sure. I think anyway he got the message that I wasn't interested in talking about it. And other than a few smart comments throughout the meal about how messy my kids were, he mainly shut up.

But he got me thinking.

So, why?

Why am I due to have 3 kids under 3 just after my 23rd birthday?

All those reasons I thought up in my head certainly have something to do with it. But are any of them really the underscore? Do any of them truly define the reason my family is growing as rapidly as it is? No. I don't suppose they do. None of those reasons offer enough conviction and motivation to choose and continue a radical life style.

At the end of the day, whenever my husband and I discuss the size of our family, or the speed at which we are adding to it, there is one thing and one thing only that comes out of both our mouths.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed..." -Psalm 127:3-5

I don't know how many children we will have. I don't know what God will show us over the coming months and years in regards to our family. But what I do know unwaveringly, is this:

Children are NOT merely an inconvenience.

Children are NOT an unnecessary expense.

Children are NOT a curse.

Children are NOT an accident.

God is clear on this point. Children ARE a blessing. A REWARD. An inheritance. Who doesn't want all those things?

My life is messy. My home is messier. My eyes are heavy. My back aches. I don't have it all figured out. I might look like a walking poster ad for birth control. I might be the image that causes people to shudder because they think my life looks so rough. I might be pitied by people for the tolls that pregnancy and child rearing have taken on my body and my time. I might be the example held up of why others want to wait to conceive, or why they want to space their children.

Why did people hug me, jump up and down with joy and slap my husband on the back when we got pregnant with our first.... but then look at us with apologetic eyes when we announced both our second and third pregnancies?

I even question this life so many times a day. If you read my last post, you know that loss of self is one of the hardest things for me about motherhood. I struggle. I falter.

But in the eyes of the Lord? The only perspective that will ever truly matter? I know what I am because it is spelled out plainly in my Creator's words in Psalm 127:3-5. This is my credo. My hope. My motivation.

I am:

BLESSED.

REWARDED.

HAPPY.

UNASHAMED.

Finding the Myself I Lost

2012-01-08T03:53:00.000-08:00

You could say I've always been a little wild. Passionate. Excitable. I have this image of myself in the truest form, and it involves a little girl with crazy blond hair riding her horse a little too fast. She cares nothing of dirty hands, a dirty face or mussed up hair. She cares only about that moment--that fleeting moment of freedom and unpredictability.

As a young girl, I lived for the time of day when I could put away my schoolbooks, change in to my favorite torn pair of jeans and my worn green sweatshirt, jam my hair into a pony tail and fly out the back door. We lived in this little cape on the top of a hill, surrounded by miles of woods that begged for exploration. I would spend hours out there, completely released. Sometimes I would lose myself in make believe. Other times I would lay on the gnarled branches of the apple trees looking up at the sky and dreaming about my own life--who I would become.

As time went on, I lost so much of that girl. I'd like to say she's still alive and well inside my being, and in some ways I suppose she is. But in so many ways, I've forgotten how to feel pure joy simply by letting the wind course through my hair. I've forgotten how to dance wildly and run freely. I've lost the art of day dreaming and wild flower picking. And even as I read back through this blog of mine, I realize that I've lost my love of writing, somewhere in the daily grind of it all.

That little girl grew up so quickly. At eighteen I became a wife and responsibility took over carefree spontaneity. Becoming pregnant at nineteen meant that the maturity of motherhood must take the helm rather than the reckless desire to chase the sunset.

I suppose the last traces of that little girl longed to be revived when we found ourselves bound for South Africa. One of my day dreams in that orchard not so many years before had been going to distant lands, carrying the wild hope of the Gospel with radical love and barefoot obedience. But when reality fizzled even that final dream, I found myself floundering. Who was I, if not that fancy free little blond girl? Who was I if not the wild, unpredictable free spirit than everyone knew me to be? I now found myself, a tired and weary brunette mother of two. Hardly an evidence of what was, remained.

I used to feel so deeply. I used to love so passionately. I used to dream so limitlessly.

I want to find myself again.

It sounds so cliche to say that as mothers we often lose ourselves, but this morning as I sit here thinking over days gone by, I realize that it's begun.

But I am resolved. It is not without reversal.

I see so much of that wild little girl every time I look at Peyton. She is vivacious, passionate, joyful, energetic, strong...she is everything I was. Even down to the wild blond hair and light filled blue eyes. Little Britany is sweetness, pure sensitivity and love. She is gentleness, but she is also strength. My daughters each reflect what I hope to be. Peyton reminds me to let loose, to dance, to run. Britany makes me long for the gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God. (I Pet. 3:4)

Through my children, God will restore to me what has been lost. What life has threatened to strip from me--my very being--God will restore and reshape. He will return unto me the joy of my salvation. He will renew a right spirit within me.

I have to find that little girl again. I need her to help me teach my daughters to day dream. I need her to remind me how to run barefoot and dig in the dirt. I need her to help me teach my children to climb trees and go fishing. I need her to help me show them how to wade in the water, how to catch fireflies, and how to run with the wind in your hair. I need her to help me dream again. To lose resignation and rekindle passion. I'm ready to live fully again. To chase life with fervor. To forget about the things which really never mattered all that much, and remember what it is to breathe life in my lungs. I will remember.

Family Love

2012-01-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

When I wrote this post and declared that January would be the month of Increased Love, I had no idea how that would end up revealing itself in the coming days. I also had no idea how God would bring this about. And yet, here I am, on January 6th, already baffled at how God is teaching me about Love and how He is increasing it in my life.

On January 2nd or 3rd, we turned on our TV to find out that we had lost over half our channels. We've never paid for television, we were just able to pick up about 80 channels simply by plugging our cable in to the wall. Well, due to new upgrades, we've lost all but about 20 channels. And the 20 channels that are left, aren't really chock full of entertaining stuff, to be honest.

As I sat down with my kids the other evening, I realized that losing our channels was a way in which God was increasing the love in my home. Without the temptation of TV, we are left with much more time to spend with one another in the evenings. It's amazing how TV can consume so much time without our even realizing it. So as disappointed as I was when I first realized that I won't be able to watch many of my favorite shows, I'm also overjoyed. Because God is teaching me about increasing the love in my home. And I can do that by spending more focused time with my family without the distraction of the TV.

God is teaching me about setting aside my priorities, and placing my kids priorities at the top of the list. I am learning to let the housework wait a few minutes so I can have that tickle war on the living room floor with my girls. I am learning to rock my baby to sleep for a few extra lullabies. I am taking time for extra early morning snuggles, afternoon giggles, and bedtime stories.

This first week of January, God is increasing my love for my family. He is increasing the way I give love, and the way I receive it. He is increasing my desire to be a loving wife and mother and decreasing my desire to be selfish. Oh, I still am selfish. I'm all kinds of selfish. But... as He increases my love, He is increasing my understanding of His love. He is patient with me. Patient, kind and gracious. To know the increase of love in my life, is to know the increase of God in my life. And there is nothing but good in that.

12 Blessings for 2012

2012-01-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

This morning at church our pastor presented everyone with a hand out of Patricia King's "12 Blessings for 2012" proclamation. He had us all come to the front of the sanctuary together and speak each of these blessings out for our year. As I was reading them aloud with my church family, I felt impressed to claim these 12 blessings over my life month by month this year. Since there are 12 blessings, and 12 months, I want to focus on one blessing per month... having each blessing as a "theme" of sorts for it's corresponding month! I'm really excited about doing this and I'm excited to see how God reveals Himself to me through each of these different areas.

I thought I'd share these 12 blessings with all of you in case any of you would like to join me!

Get your "One Word 2012 Button" by clicking this link!

2012: A Year of Increase

JANUARY: "Increased Love"

I decree that I will increase in my love for God, myself and others! (Matthew 22:37-40)

FEBRUARY: "Increased Peace"

I decree that I will increase in perfect peace, wholeness and soundness in my heart and mind, in all my ways and in every situation. (Numbers 6:26, 2 Peter 1:2)

MARCH: "Increased Wisdom"

I decree that I will increase in wisdom from above because I love wisdom and ask for wisdom. (James 1:5)

APRIL: "Increased Grace"

I decree that I will increase in the grace of God that enables me both to will and to do of His good pleasure. (John 1:16, Philippians 2:13)

MAY: "Increased Strength"

I decree that I will increase int he strength of the Lord as I wait on Him. (Isaiah 40:31)

JUNE: "Increased Health"

I decree that I will increase in divine health and healing. (3 John 2)

JULY: "Increased Prosperity"

I decree that I will increase in abundance and prosperity. All my needs will be met according to the riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Deuteronomy 1:11, Philippians 4:19)

AUGUST: "Increased Revelation"

I decree that I will receive increased revelation in the knowledge of Jesus Christ, His kingdom and His righteousness. (Ephesians 1:17)

SEPTEMBER: "Increased Power"

I decree that I will receive increased manifestation of miracle working power. (Acts 1:8)

OCTOBER: "Increased Answers to Prayer"

I decree that I will receive increased answers to prayer as I pray according to God's will. (1 John 5:14-15)

NOVEMBER: "Increased Purity of Heart"

I decree that I will increase in the purity of my heart, its motives, and its passions. As a result, I will perceive God in new realms and dimensions. (Matthew 5:8)

DECEMBER: "Increased Boldness"

I decree that I will increase in boldness to proclaim the Gospel and as a result many will turn to the Lord! (Acts 4:31)

Aren't those powerful?! I'm so excited to walk through each of these blessings and truths throughout the coming year! To believe God for His promised blessings, but also to humbly seek His truth and wisdom regarding each of these areas. I am looking forward to hearing from Him in NEW ways and old ways.

That means that January (THIS MONTH!) is the month for Increased Love! I am looking forward to trusting God to teach me more about LOVE this month! My pastor preached a really inspiring sermon about love this morning and the Golden rule, and it put so much passion in my heart about being a loving Christian. I think that's another post, but I really do want to share about it because it was chock full of powerful messages about how to truly love like Christ.

I am so looking forward to this coming year and the ways in which God will cause me to grow! I am so thankful for His GRACE and PATIENCE with me and His passion for watching me grow up in Him.

I hope your first day of 2012 was full of vision, hope and invigoration!

Love to you all!

A Giveaway Win & Christmas Recap!

2011-12-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas was amazing this year :) I loved spending the holiday with Bryan and our 2 girls. Loving each other and enjoying being together.

On Christmas day, my parents and my brother came over for Christmas dinner and we had such a wonderful time exchanging gifts, sharing a meal and laughing and talking. We definitely missed Bryan's family this year though as we couldn't swing a trip to Minnesota. :(

This Christmas we got so many packages in the mail! It was almost like every day in December was Christmas! The door bell would ring and we'd rush to the door to see what was left on our door step :) Such fun!

One of the packages on my door step was my prize from my first ever Blog world Giveaway win!!! I won a giveaway from Glory Accessories sponsored by Amanda at The Shepard Life ! I won a hair flower :) I was really excited to win this giveaway too because I've never really worn hair flowers, but I've always wanted to try ;) One of those things I wouldn't necessarily buy for myself, but was so happy to have won because now I can totally try out this fashion statement I've been dying to try!

I loved explaining Christmas to Peyton this year as well. Being 2 1/2, she's still limited, of course in what she can understand but she caught on to a lot of things. I loved hearing her talk about God and her love for Jesus!

We did Christmas early this year!!! Bryan woke me up early on December 14th and practically BEGGED me to let us do Christmas early :) He gave a lot of very convincing arguments... the most convincing one being that he had the day off and we had nothing planned so we could really just "hole up" and enjoy our day together as a family with no interruptions, family gatherings, phone calls or church services. We snuck downstairs, careful not to wake the girls, and started preparing for our Christmas day :) We made cinnamon rolls, hot chocolate and chose some Christmas music to play on the iPod. We set all the presents around the tree, and then snuck back upstairs to get the girls :) They were thrilled! They loved the special breakfast, and the presents made their eyes go wide!

The girls loved their presents and Bryan and I had a special time exchanging our gifts for one another too. Then, we thorougly enjoyed the whole rest of the day as a family :) After the girls went to bed, Bryan and had hot chocolate, watched a movie and enjoyed some time together.

My amazing Christmas present from my hubby was................. (DRUMROLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!) An iPad 2! I was so shocked and excited when I opened it! I really didn't think it was in our budget, but Bryan had made a couple extra sales at work without telling me :) I LOVE IT and I'm having so much fun exploring it :) I'm so blessed to have such a thoughtful hubby!!!!

But at the end of the day... as exciting as presents and everything are, I'm so thankful for the TRULY important things this Christmas. For my Savior KING who came to earth to born as a baby and grow up to DIE FOR MY SINS so that I can live forever in communion with THE ALMIGHTY GOD! For my health, my children, my husband, my home, my family, my friends and the beautiful world surrounding me. God is good.

I hope all of you had wonderful Christmases where you felt loved!!!!

Our Son's Name

2011-12-23T18:07:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas weekend, so this will be a very quick post. But I wanted to tell you all that we have named our son!

I can't wait to hold him in my arms and speak his name over him as his eyes are on mine.

22 Week Bump Update

2011-12-11T11:45:00.001-08:00

I'm not the greatest at getting someone to take belly pictures of me... so it's more like "Oh! I'm a new week today! I better quick snap some pictures of my belly!" and then I run to my full length mirror and snap a few quick shots of my belly for the record books :) I want to be able to show my children one day what they looked like "in-utero" ;)

haha, do you like how my bed is un-made in the first picture and then made in the second two? Classy, right?! ha!

How big is the baby? The size of a papaya!! A pound already :)

Weight Gain: my home scale says 12 pounds so far. The Doctor would say less, but I'm a realist here so I'll go with my home scale since I'm weighing myself here more regularly ;)

Maternity Clothes? A little of both. I'm wearing some maternity jeans, but some of my maternity jeans are still a little too big. I'm still in a few pairs of regular jeggings from PacSun. And shirts are a big mix. Just depends on the fit of the shirt. I have a few trusty maternity shirts, but other than that I just improvise from what's in my closet. In the picture above nothing I'm wearing is actually maternity. I definitely love to come home though and throw on my yoga pants. Soooo comfy :)

Sleep? Thanks to my Leachco maternity body pillow, I've been sleeping like a dream this whole pregnancy! Now if only I didn't have to get up to go pee a million times a night.............

Best Moment of the Week? I keep a "Mother's Journal" for all my kids (a place to write my thoughts and dreams for them during different stages of their childhoods.. starting during pregnancy and I think I'll probably give to them at either graduation or their weddings) and I started writing in this little boy's journal this week. It felt so good to write my thoughts to him and take time just to day dream about his coming... it can be easy to get caught up taking care of the other two, so it's important for me to take those moments just to single out this little man and give him some love :)

Food Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving lots of grapefruit, still cereal and salty snacks like chex mix. Bryan got some jalapeno cheesy bread the other night and when he heated it up and I smelled it it made me feel SO sick! So that's a definite aversion. ha! glad to know I can check jalapeno cheesy bread off my list, lol.

Gender: BOY!!! still in disbelief on that one :) but can't wait!

Movement: Lots of kicking all the time. Just recently the movements have moved from low in my abdomen to the center of my abdomen. And I'm starting to feel kicks in several places at once, making me know that my little man is exploring the use of his hands and legs!

What I miss? Laying on my belly, playing more actively with the kids and wearing all my adorable little clothes!!!

What I'm Looking forward to? CHRISTMAS! I'm really excited this year. It's so fun this year because Peyton is really starting to be more into the excitement of Christmas. I love wrapping the kids presents and thinking about how excited they'll be to open them. And it's been so exciting to teach Peyton the true meaning of why we celebrate such a special holiday. I'm looking forward to picking a name for this little boy! Bryan and I have tossed ideas out there, but we haven't really settled on any certain name. I'm looking forward to being able to call him by name and be able to imagine him even more as a part of this family. And of course, in the longer term, I can't wait to meet this little man!

Hope you all have an incredible Sunday!

Happy First Birthday Britany Zoe

2011-12-07T05:32:00.000-08:00

My Darling Britany Zoe,

I can't believe that I'm sitting here writing this letter.

To think that a year has passed since you arrived, sweet girl, is unreal. And yet, I feel like you've been part of our family forever.

I found out I was pregnant with you in April 2010. Your big sister was only 10 months old, and I was surprised to be pregnant again so soon. But the moment the reality sank in that our family was growing again, I began to feel such a deep love for you. I dreamed of what you would be like, and how much fun you and your sister would have together. When we found out you were a little girl, we knew immediately what we would call you. Britany Zoe--"Defender of Life". or "Bright, Bold, Beautiful Life". We knew that you would be a child that would bring life--both to our family and to the world.

16 weeks pregnant in South Africa

26 weeks pregnant in Vermont

30 weeks pregnant in Vermont

36 weeks pregnant--the same day I went into labor.
You were born only hours after this picture was taken!

My pregnancy with you wasn't an easy one. From moving to South Africa when I was 2 months pregnant, to moving back to the U.S. when I was 5 months along and then pre-term labor and a hospital stay at 7 months, and then bed rest until finally you were born 4 weeks early.

But despite that difficult pregnancy, your birth was one of the most peaceful events of my life. I felt so calm knowing that you were on your way! Your labor only took 3 1/2 hours. I pushed you out in 10 minutes. Your daddy and my doctor supported me through the whole experience and encouraged me to keep going! When you came into the world and they laid me in your arms, I fell instantly in love! The pediatric team was there prepared to take you to the NICU since you were 4 weeks early, but the moment you arrived they turned and left because it was obvious you were a healthy baby! I praised God for that! My recovery from your birth was seamless. I didn't need any stitching or anything, so I was able to focus on loving you and not as much on healing. We had such wonderful moments of cuddling in the hospital!

The first picture of you! Moments after your birth
at 8:01 AM on December 7, 2010.

Meeting big sister Peyton for the very first time!

We were able to bring you home from the hospital after only staying there one night. I was so anxious to bring you home and to begin life as a mother of two!

a couple days old

You were an absolute DREAM of a baby to have! You slept a lot of the time, and when you were awake you were happy and content to be held and loved by all of us and your doting sister. You made the sweetest coos and sounds and your wide brown eyes were captivating to everyone who met you.

5 days old

2 weeks old, lying in Daddy's arms

As you continued to grow throughout the year, your sweet personality continued to come through more and more. You were tender, loving, sensitive and happy. Your smile was always ready and your sweetness apparent. Everyone who meets you comments on your striking beauty and your smooth, olive skin.

3 months old

4 months old

5 months old

5 months old, looking just like Daddy!

6 months old, crawling in the grass :)

6 months old

When you turned 6 months, I remember realizing how quickly time had already flown by. The tiny baby who was once content to lay in my arms and coo was now sitting up, eating solid foods, babbling up a storm, interacting with her big sister, and cutting her first tooth.

10 months old

Your sweet disposition remained even as you grew. Always soulful. Always tender. Always loving.

Now at one year of age, I'm amazed at how much you've grown. You are crawling, laughing, pulling yourself up and so interactive.

Your favorite thing to do right now is pull things off shelves and out of drawers :) I suppose I should teach you not to do this, but it just does my heart so much good to see you so happy and occupied :) You've struggled a lot with not wanting to be away from me, so when I see you enjoying an independent activity, I smile. I know it means my baby is growing up, but that's the thing about motherhood. What breaks your heart also makes it sing.

I can't wait to watch your life unfold, my sweet Britsy. You are beautiful, tender, caring and soulful. You have a deep heart and strong intellect. You feel deeply and you love deeply. You have a ready smile and a pure heart.

I love you my beautiful Britany Zoe. I can't wait to watch you grow and change in the years to come. I know you will make such a caring big sister to your new little brother next spring. But for now, I"ll cuddle you close and let you be the baby. Because in so many ways you still are. Stay close to me, baby girl. When I look at that picture right above this, I can't help but wish I could somehow just keep you this way forever. I love the way your plump little cheeks are irresistible to kiss. The way your pudgy soft hands reach for mine. The way your nose crinkles when you smile. The way your high voice babbles baby talk. The way you crawl quickly to me when I walk into a room. The way you let out a squeal when you hear your Daddy walk in from work. The way you love us all, and we love you.

Thank you for joining our family, baby. We are all the better for having known you.

All my love,

Your Momma

20 Week Bump Update: GENDER REVEAL!

2011-12-01T11:10:00.001-08:00

Sorry to keep you all in suspense!! (although if you follow me on Twitter or are friends with me on Facebook, then you already know the news!)

Well, I'm 20 weeks pregnant! We had our ultrasound yesterday morning! I had butterflies all morning long and I found myself dying for the minutes to pass by so it would be time!

When I got to the doctor, I found that I was actually 45 minutes early! I had the wrong time! haha, but they saw me a little earlier anyway so it worked out okay :)

When we got into the ultrasound room, my doctor came in and casually asked if we wanted to know the gender (OF COURSE!) she put the wand on my belly and immediately said, "Well, the legs are pretty close together. Let's see if we can sneak a quick peek." Then she sort of held the wand over one spot for a few minutes going, "Hmmm. Looks suspicious." Bryan and I were both like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? then she says, "I see a suspicious bulge you probably haven't seen on an ultrasound before". Then she just continues with the ultrasound! Finally we were like, "Um, what is it?!" and she goes, "Oh it's a boy!" haha! It was such a weird way of telling us that Bryan finally said to her, "How sure are you?" and she goes "Oh, 100% that's definitely a little boy!" then she gave us another very clear shot so we would be convinced ;) We were both RADIANT! We are soooooooo excited to have a little boy on the way!

I am still in shock! I think having 2 girls already, I was just sort of expecting that this one would be another girl... but secretly, I was really, really hoping for a little boy! AND THAT'S WHAT I GOT! I can't wait to meet our little man :) It's still sinking in though! It really started to sink in when my mom and stopped by the mall after and I started letting myself linger over the racks of little boy clothing :) I made a couple purchases:

The jury is still out on a name, but we are SO excited about our sweet little boy :) I'll let you know when we decided what his name will be! It's so fun to now say hello to my little man and to dream about what he'll be like :) I'm now able to pray much more specifically for him as well which is so fun!

Unfortunately the ultrasound pictures didn't come out as well as I would have hoped. With Peyton I was in Minneapolis and with Britany in South Africa and both places had much more advanced ultrasound systems than they do here in Vermont. We really didn't get a clear profile shot or anything like I was hoping for :-/ But my favorite picture of the day was this one:

Isn't it great? Bryan is very proud already of our little football player :) (disclaimer: although of course we will love him just the same even if he doesn't choose to follow in his daddy's footsteps athletically!!!!!!) But I just love that our little man already has his hand perfectly cupped as if he's preparing to throw a pass! Little Quarterback, perhaps?!?!?!

Well, I'm off to get some rest :) This little boy is a sweetie, but he makes momma tired with all his growing!

Oh that reminds me... He's 11 ounces big :)

Tomorrow We'll Know!

2011-11-29T19:41:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to stop by to say....

That in approximately 12 hours.... I will know (HOPEFULLY!) whether this baby is a boy or a girl!

Can't wait for my ultrasound! I love finding out the gender and calling our little ones by name before we even see their faces! And no, we don't have names picked out yet... that will come once we find out the sex and can begin to pray over our little one more specifically!

Don't forget to head over to the right hand column and cast your vote if you haven't yet! Bragging rights for Team Pink or Team Blue are on the line ;) ;)

Giving up the Glory

2011-11-23T18:47:00.001-08:00

I work hard in my home. Morning til night there is work to be done. From the time I swing my feet onto the floor in the morning (often times after being wakened by a child's cries) until the time I collapse into bed at night I am working hard.

The other evening, as I slipped away for a precious few moments in my prayer closet, I was feeling particularly weary. It had been a busy day full of spills and messes, accidents and tantrums. I turned the lights low in my office and turned on a Jesus Culture song.

As the words of this song played, I began to weep. Specifically the line "...help me to never seek a crown, for my reward is giving glory to You."

As a mom, I do so many unnoticed deeds throughout the day. From scrubbing the toilet to emptying the dishwasher... from changing a dirty diaper to wiping a snotty nose. I do so many things that no one notices (unless they're not done). It is so easy for me to harbor resentment about not getting praised for the things I do. It can be frustrating to spend your entire day serving 2 little people who don't even know how to say thank you--or that perhaps they should say thank you--for the things being done for them.

But as I poured my heart out to God and let the lyrics to this song wash over my soul, I realized that it doesn't matter if I get recognized. I don't need a "crown" for the things I've done. My reward is bringing glory to my King.

Even as I pray, I always know that interruption is inevitable. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting in the presence of God, with revelation pouring down on me, tears on my face and a song in heart... and I'll hear "Mommy! I poo'ed!" or "Mommy, sister is crying!" and I'm jolted out of prayer and back into reality... which for me is wiping bottoms and soothing infants. But I have to know, that even in those "unspiritual" things and those totally non poetic moments... I am bringing glory to the King. I can receive revelation of servant-hood as I take care of my children that will perhaps be more profound than what I would have learned locked in my office with my Bible before me.

God is abundantly able to meet us where we are. I went from having hours to spend in the presence of God, to minutes at a time. But you know what? I haven't stopped growing. God is still showing me Himself... just in different (and definitely more creative!) ways.

As Thanksgiving is upon us, lets be thankful for the ways in which God meets us. Lets be thankful that the glory is not ours for the taking.... but His. Lets be thankful that we don't have to rely on earthly "crowns" or praise to be our rewards... our reward is His glory. And we know He WILL have His glory. I hope this song strengthens and encourages you tonight as it did me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Where I'm From

2011-11-22T15:51:00.001-08:00

I am from the wooded hills, from the orchard with gnarled trees and the bubbling creek below.

I am from the little white cape atop its incline with flickering white lights on the windowsills and blue stones along the drive.

I am from the apple blossoms, the white fields of Narcissus and the endless blue Forget Me Nots.

I am from South African tradition and of Dutch colored skin.

I am from Henwoods and the Vander Kraats, from Edmay and Pauline.

From legacy and from loss.

I am from conversations 'round the dinner table and from dreams under the stars.

From running in the African sun, swimming in the Indian Ocean and from walking to school in New Jersey, playing music and studying mechanics.

I am from new found faith on desperate knees. From poverty and promise. From immigration and sworn citizenship.

I'm from both the Empire State and the Green Mountains. From cinnamon pancakes and sweet Durban curry.

From the school teacher, the secretary, from the soldier, the engineer. The children of apartheid and the parents of hope.

I am from the boxes in the cellar with pictures worn and torn. From long distance letters with stories of the years. From sunrises and snowflakes, meteor showers and fishing trips. From earth, from sea, from miracles.

***************************

I got this from my friend Krystle's blog! You can make your own with this template.

19 Week Bump Update

2011-11-20T18:26:00.001-08:00

Me at 19 weeks... haha yes, I know, there's no belly. Whew, I need to get better at the belly picture taking!!!

Baby Size: Summer Squash! 6 inches long :) Baby is starting to THINK and to LISTEN. Only 10 more days until we know if baby is a he or a she!!

Symptoms & Cravings: Had a mini bug this week which was no fun :( Still lots of cravings--mostly cereal. Had a crazy random craving for pizza last week. Baby is moving A LOT these days and I love the feeling! I'm still so tired so I've been doing my best to make time for naps here and there!

Something you miss: Being skinny! All the gorgeous fall/winter fashions that are coming out keep making me miss my flat stomach and skinny hips. I feel like I'm missing out on some seriously cute fashion! Went shopping with my mom and my brother yesterday and I felt like an outcast back in the maternity section :( Ah well, it just makes it all the more fun when pre-baby body comes back!

Milestones: I had my doctor appointment this past week! Baby's heartbeat is 140 bpm and strong :) Baby is healthy... however... I'm dehydrated which has been causing mild contractions! So I left the doctor's with orders to drink, drink, drink! I'm doing my best!

Weight Gain: Up from 2 weeks ago! Weight gain is now 7 pounds!

Looking forward to: The same thing as last time! FINDING OUT BABY'S GENDER!!!

I'm so excited for Thanksgiving this week! I love this time of year :) I'm honestly really disappointed that there's no snow yet because I want to put my tree the day after Thanksgiving, and I just can't imagine doing that without snow! I love to turn up the Christmas music while I decorate and that just feels wrong when it's sunny and 50 (which it's supposed to be on Friday!!) Ah well, I"m sure the snow will be here soon enough :)

Daddy and Britany enjoying the fall leaves :)

I can't believe that my baby Britany is going to be one year old in less than a month! Time flies when you're having fun :)

Beautiful Britany - 11 months old!

And then there's sweet Peyton, who never fails to make me laugh!

Ever joyful Peyton - 2 1/2 years old

And there's a peek at week 19... for all of us :) And we all cannot wait to find out if a baby brother or sister will be joining us! Peyton changes her opinion daily ;) today she said the baby should maybe be named "One".

It's so funny to see how she's reacting to this pregnancy! She didn't react hardly at all throughout my pregnancy with Britany because she was so young she didn't understand at all what was to come. This time, the fact that she's older coupled with the fact that this is her second time going through this process means that she's a lot more interactive about the pregnancy.. and I LOVE it! She loves saying hello to the baby (my belly!) and giving the baby kisses and hugs. It's so sweet to hear her think about whether she wants another sister or a brother, and to try to register the thought that the baby will be here in the spring :) She is such a great big sister as well. She is so tender with Britany and really goes out of her way to include Britany in whatever activity she's doing. I love seeing them play together! Finally Britany is getting old enough to actually play with Peyton instead of just watch her ;)

Alright, enough randomness for this post :) I promise another belly picture will come soon! Well, I don't promise, because I'm just bad at taking pictures in general... but I'll work on it!

This Path Called Life

2011-11-17T10:13:00.001-08:00

Funny how life can take you places you never thought you'd go. How you can look at your life and marvel at where you are, and how you got here.

This third little life is due just about a month after my 23rd birthday. I'll have a child for each year of my 20s. I only met my husband 5 years ago... we married nearly 4 years ago... and here we are now with (nearly) 3 children. Cliche as it may sound by now, I couldn't have chosen a more appropriate name for this blog! My life has been on fast forward for a while now, and it doesn't appear to be slowing down.

Image Credit

But even in the midst of my wonder at this life of mine, I'm happy. This isn't the path I thought I'd take, but it's a beautiful path that's led me from being a young girl, afraid of life, to a wife and mother who is responsible for caring for an entire household.

Life has taken me places I didn't ask it to. But God has orchestrated each step, each open door, and each moment. I only pray that He will continue to lead me forward in HIS path and not in the paths that only I want. Because if I'd mapped out my life myself, I wouldn't be here. And that would be a mistake.

We have to trust that God knows what He's doing. Sometimes He'll start to take us somewhere and we'll halt--tell Him He can't be right--explain to Him that we won't be happy going that direction. BUT if we open our hands and TRUST... only beauty can be the result.

Random Update!

2011-11-15T17:40:00.001-08:00

I finally got some pictures uploaded!!! Yay! I thought I'd post a few of them with a random update of life lately :)

16 1/2 weeks

18 weeks

I turned 18 weeks on Monday, and I feel great! Definitely still exhausted much of the time, but for the most part I'm just feeling so happy and excited to be blessed with a third child. That November 30 gender reveal is definitely helping to lift my spirits! I just can't wait! Sorry for the ridiculous smiles in both of those pictures... I think I feel awkward getting belly pictures taken so I make these stupid faces hahahahahahaa.

I'm definitely carrying much higher this time around! Particularly than I did with Britany. I carried Britany SO LOW the whole pregnancy, but this baby is right up there! I've never carried quite this high! It's great because it allows me to keep wearing those non maternity pants :)

hahaha had to share this one! My mom was taking belly pictures of me and Britany was next to her in the stroller... well Britany started ROLLING AWAY in the wind! Too funny. This is me freaking out and telling my mom to grab her!

My sweet girls are lighting up my life! Peyton is still working on potty training (it's been a long process because we've had so many distractions!) I feel bad that I haven't been able to dedicate more time to it.... Britany is very clingy so it's hard for me to really focus my energy on Peyton solely. But she's doing well, and for the most part is very aware of her body and what's going on. And when she does go, she goes completely by herself... wipes, pulls her pants down and up without help. It's a blessing that she's so independent ;)

Britany is finally getting her third tooth :) Poor girl has been very fussy but she's such a sweetheart. I can hardly believe she'll really be one year on December 7th! It's almost unreal! It's really hard for me to grasp how quickly this year truly has flown by! She still seems like my baby in so many ways, and to think she'll be a big sister in only a matter of months is crazy!

She's such a little peanut, so I don't expect her to walk too soon. My guess is she'll be walking the same time big sister did (around 15 months). But lately she's been standing up a lot more! Found her standing in her crib today... sweet girl :) She's such a special child and I'm so grateful that she came into our lives.

Every blessing is GREAT, whether planned or unplanned ;)

My sweet little third baby is JUMPING inside my womb right now! I'm so thankful for my children :) God is good.

Pink? or Blue?

2011-11-13T16:49:00.001-08:00

Two and a half weeks! That's all that stands between me, and finding out if this baby is a boy or a girl! I'm so excited, I can hardly take it!!!

So it's time for you all to weigh in :) What do you think?!?!

I added a poll to the top of the right hand column so you can cast your vote! Can't wait to see what everyone thinks!

Comment to tell me what your vote was!!!! And I'll let you know if Team Blue or Team Pink wins after November 30th!

Sunday Sermon Notes

2011-11-10T18:22:00.001-08:00

A visiting preacher came to our church this past Sunday, and his sermon was so good. As I was ferociously taking notes during his talk, it dawned on me that I just had to share all this goodness on my blog!

You all have been there through our families journey on, and then off the mission field. You've heard more than your fair share of my sob stories of failure, disappointment and regrets. Here I am, more than a year later, and there are still pieces of my heart that need healing. (am I a broken record, or what?!) The sermon that this guy (wish I could remember his name!) preached was so healing for me. It resonated so strongly and gave me hope. I'm gonna go ahead and mainly just type out my notes... I hope this encourages some of you as it did me!

He started by setting the stage for us of Moses' life. Here this child is SAVED out of a mass murder by the wisdom of his mother who places him in the basket in the river where he is found by none other than Pharaoh's daughter. He's taken into Pharaoh's household and raised as a prince, basically. And because God loves the mother heart (which He created!) He allowed Moses' biological mother to be his wet nurse. Talk about AMAZING. Well, the preacher said that perhaps Moses' mother spoke to him about how he was to be the deliverer of his people. Perhaps she spoke vision over her son's life as she nursed him. Perhaps she prepared him for greatness even from such a young age.

Image Credit

Well then, when Moses grows up, he gets angry and kills a man in a fit of rage. He is sent out from Pharaoh's house into the wilderness where he....HERDS SHEEP. Real great, huh? No doubt in that time, Moses accumulated pain and feelings of failure. For 40 years he led sheep in the wilderness. So much for "deliverer". So much for greatness. He led these sheep in the middle of nowhere, far from the people he was created to deliver. For FORTY years..... UNTIL! One day, God broke through his routine with a burning bush. God presented His plan to Moses one day that could have been like all the others. And Moses had to make a choice. To continue in the routine of 40 years, or to get up and to walk into God's plan for him.

"Out of the brokenness of our disappointed dreams, we must ask, 'WHO IS THE LORD, AND WHY MUST I OBEY HIM?'"

We must know the God we serve for who He is. God has had a calling for us since before He created the world. We can keep ourselves from that calling by "camping" in places that hold us back.

When Moses returns to Egypt and requests that Pharaoh allow him and his men to go make a sacrifice to God in another land, Pharaoh attempts to strike a deal with them--to bargain. He first tells them "yes, go, but make your sacrifice still here in Egypt." When Moses says, "No we must go out from this land" Pharaoh comes back with "Well, then leave your women and children here." When Moses says, "No we must bring our wives and offspring." Pharaoh returns with, "Fine, then leave your livestock." Moses replies, "Not a hoof must be left behind, because we do not know what God will expect as a sacrifice." The point of this conversation is that Pharaoh was attempting to anchor Moses and the Hebrew people to Egypt. He wanted something to always be there to call them back.

There's always something that draws you back and anchors you to "Egypt". But you must PICK UP ALL YOUR ROOTS AND GO WHEN GOD CALLS YOU. We don't know what God is going to ask of us--we just have to lift it all up with open hands. IT MUST ALL BE AVAILABLE TO HIM.

There is no time for looking back. No time for "dual citizenship".

You will NEVER possess your promised land with your heart still attached to "Egypt".

Being filled with the Holy Spirit is living in such a way that we allow the Spirit of God to do everything He wants to do in every part of us. If I ask to hear what the Holy Spirit is doing in your life, don't you tell me about an experience you had 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, even a day ago. Tell me what God is doing RIGHT NOW...TODAY!

There is no such thing as being able to say "No, Lord". Because the moment you've said no, then He is no longer your Lord. There is only "Yes, Lord."

God's expectation for His people is to love Him with ALL THEY ARE (Deuteronomy 6:4-5) Understand the traps that are attempting to hold you back. Moses did.

17 Week Bump Update!

2011-11-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to do these bump updates ever since I've started seeing them all over blog world! How fun to remember your pregnancy week by week! I guess I'm a little late in starting... but better late than never ;)

Unfortunately I don't have a picture this week! I feel so bad, I only have a couple of bump pictures so far this pregnancy! Mainly because my camera has been dead and I wasn't able to find the charger (just found it this morning, YAY!) and because the pictures that have been taken are on my mom's camera! I have to get her to email them to me and then I'll add them :)

17 Weeks Pregnant!

Size of the baby: Our little baby is as big as a sweet potato! 5 1/2 inches long and weighing in around 5 ounces :)

Symptoms: Really exhausted this week. I came down with a cold so that's not helping things :( I've just been really achy and sore and starting to feel bigger which is probably adding to it all :(

Cravings: This whole pregnancy, I just haven't been able to get enough cereal! Haha! I just want cereal 24/7!!! Something about the cold cereal with refreshing milk is so yummy to me! Doesn't really matter what kind! Honey Bunches of Oats, Frosted Mini Wheats, or this week it's been Captain Crunch ;)

Something you miss: Having lots of energy... and being able to lay on the ground with my kids :) I have a lot of back pain and it's always worse while I'm pregnant so I have to be careful with sitting on the floor or any hard surface really. So lame... here I am at 22 and I can't sit on the floor! BOO!

Milestones: I've been feeling the baby move for a few weeks now (since about 13 1/2 weeks), but this week I started feeling baby move even when I'm not sitting perfectly still! So fun to feel those kicks and jumps :)

Weight Gain: So far 4 pounds.

Looking forward to: Finding out baby's sex on November 30! I can't wait to find out if our 3rd little lady is in there or if the first boy is on his way!

Well said, Mr. Stein.

2011-11-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as “Holiday Trees” for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America . . .

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

Wordless Wednesday: Fall Family Photos

2011-11-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

My beautiful sister in law took these wonderful family photos of us just a couple weeks ago! Here are a few (or a lot lol) of my favorites!!!

Rest, Restore, Recharge, Repair.

2011-10-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

My heart is hungry for peace. Not peace as in, lack of panic or fear... peace as in quiet.

Here I sit, with both children asleep in their beds and I'm breathing the silence in deeply. I'm asking it to restore me and recharge me. In minutes I'll get up to start dinner. Clean the mess left behind by the two whirlwinds who are my children and change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. But for this moment, I am resting. I am letting out a deep sigh and embracing the autumn chill in the air and the bright scene of rainbow leaves outside my window.

In this season, when God has been saying so much to me about waiting, I am realizing that part of waiting is also being still. "Be still, and know that I am God." To wait on God also means trusting that in our "not doing anything" He is.

As a mother there are constantly a million thoughts racing through my mind. Is the laundry ready to come out? Did I leave the stove top on after making the kids lunch? Did I just hear the baby wake from her nap? Did I remember to give the kids their vitamins this morning? Was my appointment today or is it next week? Did I remind my husband to pick up milk on the way home? As mothers, it's natural for us to "control" our homes. We are the captains of these ships, and we feel responsible for running them tightly. But yesterday at MOPS an older mama stood up and urged us to take "M-ahhhhh-mmy" moments. To sit and rest for a few minutes to recharge, regroup and repair. In the moments of stillness, we gain strength. It is that way with mothering, and it's that way with life.

God asks us to sit and rest because He designed us to NEED REST. We need to wait. There is a reason God set the example by resting on the seventh day after creating the world. Even the Creator took a rest. "put His feet up" so to speak.

One key to always remember however, is that not all "rest" recharges. Be intentional with your rest. Have you ever gotten up from the couch and still felt weary--sometimes even wearier than when you sat down? Don't confuse resting your body with resting your soul. True, life giving rest comes only from the presence of the Father.

Join me today in resting your soul. In sitting before God--waiting on Him and receiving His rest and recharge.

Waiting.

2011-10-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

God has been speaking to me lately. In consistent, constant conversation.

This past week, His word for me has been WAIT.

My morning devotional one day was about waiting. A few of my favorite bloggers posted about waiting. I got in the car, turned on the radio and the preacher on the radio was talking about waiting. Then a friend of mine randomly told me a testimony from her life about waiting... Do you think God was trying to tell me something?! I can't totally share yet just what God was telling me to wait about... but lets just say I knew what He was talking about. And I'm so glad He goes out of His way to get His point across.

"Waiting strengthens our patience and lengthens our perspective."

-Chuck Swindoll

Waiting is possibly one of the hardest principles in the Bible for me to follow. And I think I know why... It means relinquishing control. It means accepting that you won't be able to totally see the road in front of you, but moving forward anyway. That's scary for a dreamer like me. I like to rush ahead and see everything I can as quickly as possible. In my mind, there will be time to stop and smell those roses later, but first, I want to know what's around that next bend.

God is teaching me to sit. To stop. To pause. To rest. To WAIT. And I am learning to trust His silence. To understand His peace. To be refreshed in His stationery presence.