"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

Self-Care Struggles

2012-02-09T12:00:52Z

One of the most difficult parts of moving last week/weekend was suddenly not being able to trust my body. The very first box I attempted to carry down the stairs of my old apartment, I nearly fell! I was instantly in a state of shock and horror! I began to cry…I don’t do that! It was scary. It was because of my knees. I was truly frightened. I hated that I couldn’t rely on what had always been there for me. I’ve never had knee problems before the few months and just when they seem to get better I either re-injure them or I don’t know what. Frustrating doesn’t even cut it! I was angry and sad and everything in between.

*GetsOnSelf-CareSoapbox* Ahem… *TapsMic*

Y’all! We cannot be our most authentic and amazing selves or even be there for others properly if we are not mindful of our bodies and what they need. We cannot put off pain and rest and healing. We must treat our bodies as our most precious of possessions and resources, because that is exactly what they are! I have been putting ice packs on my knees each night (20 minutes on/off/etc as prescribed by my CMT husband) and it helps. It slows blood flow to the area for a bit and then when removed allows fresh, good, healing blood to flow through the area once again. When I skip a night, I feel it in the morning. The stiffness is mostly gone on normal days, but when I ski a night of icing, I am stiff the next morning and that blows. When I do remember, and I try, I have no stiffness and can get up with little pain.

Why is self-care so damned hard to remember/do? Because we’re taught to think only of others, to be selfless and blah blah blah! Fuck all of that! Be selfish! It’s totally okay! If you don’t, your health will suffer. Your mental health will suffer. I believe that suffering, while a part of life for sure, and should be lessened whenever possible. But here’s the hardest bit for me: Asking for help, time, breaks, assistance, access, care, being held and so on. I realized the other night when I was asked outright, “What do you want/need?” I was dumbstruck! WTF?! I am so rarely speechless. I was suddenly unable to speak! My mind went blank (that never happens) and I sort of just gasped.

How do I get better at this? What steps could I take to improve? How do I take the pressure off of the act of asking? Because let’s face it, being on your own and fending for yourself is not an easy endeavor. I know this, but I also take great pride and satisfaction from doing things for myself, by myself, etc. Perhaps too much pride, stubbornness, etc…but I’m a Scorpio! Ha-ha! But I want to get better at this…no I NEED to get better at this!

I am open to all of your advice and suggestions. I have been able to ask for help with some things, but they were minor. I’m the gal that says, “Can I ask you for a huge favor? Could you pass me that ___?” Real “huge”, eh?! Ha-ha! Every favor or assistance, etc, feels major to me. I have been self sufficient in some manner my entire life, okay, well since I was five. To ask for help was always met with, “no!” or “Get it yourself” or “if you don’t learn to do it on your own you’ll never ___” these old patterns are difficult to break. I know this. I understand where it began and how it’s impacted my life. My logical/rational brain does anyway, but my emotional side? Not so much.

So yeah…self-care! Woo!

Surrounded By Love

2012-02-09T10:18:00Z

This weekend I went to the wedding of two very good friends. I was in fact, blessed to be able to perform the ceremony for them. I'm not ordained, but they got married at a chapel in Vegas where there was a minister to do the official declaring them married part afterward as they signed their marriage license. I got to lead them in sharing their vows with each other, exchanging rings, and a flower binding ceremony with their respective children. It was so touching to hear them express their amazing love for one another and to be part of the ritual that marked their formation of a new family.

Now what does this have to do with this blog? Well both my friends are fat and both of them are beautiful. He's a lifelong vegetarian, artist, and one of the kindest men I know. She's sassy and strong and amazingly loyal to those she loves. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her white dress with black accents and he was so handsome in his dark suit and purple tie. I thought he might burst with happiness and the love and joy shining from his eyes all through the ceremony was amazing. I felt really lucky to have the intimate view of their commitment as we stood before their friends and family. And it was inspiring as a fat woman looking for love.

The reception was interesting for me in that there were actually quite a few single men there (unusual in my experience of weddings). Several of the groom's friends are single and I have hung out with some of them before (and actually been on dates with two of them in the past) and there was another fellow who I just felt an amazing instant chemistry with. It turned out that though he was there by himself, he is "loosely partnered" and I later found out from my friends is actually expecting a baby. Not really a great potential match for me, but oh boy, it was fun to dance and flirt with him! In the end, even with all those single fellows about, I spent the night in my hotel room alone.

Sometimes weddings make me sad. I feel like I'm the only person in the world who hasn't been able to find a strong and enduring love. And dang it, I want the pretty dress and someone vowing to be my partner. I want to love and be loved in return. I want the celebration with all my nearest and dearest and I want the joy of having someone choose to create a family with me.

Luckily, somehow this weekend I didn't feel the negative side of those desires. I didn't have the ugly tint of envy washing over the joy of celebrating my friends' happiness. This weekend I felt the love of my friends surrounding me, I felt the power of the many beautiful loves I have in my life even though I do not have that primary partner that so much of our society concentrates on as bringing meaning to life. I still want those things but I was at peace with where I am now, at peace with the knowledge that I am surrounded by love even if it doesn't look the way I expected it would.

Edited because paragraph breaks are important and I thought you might enjoy seeing a picture from the wedding.

Sick of Being Somebody’s Cash Cow?

2012-02-09T09:32:06Z

People have moo’d at me and called me a cow, and that’s annoying, but not as annoying as the number of people, businesses, and industries who call my fat friends I cash cows. That cash may not be coming to us since statistically we get paid less than our thin peers and are less likely to be hired. Ironically that’s part of a mass hysteria and prejudice that is perpetuated by a group of people and industries who make Billions of dollars off our backs. Now, people who I respect believe that the people behind the diet industry and Big Pharma have the best of intentions and truly believe that what they are doing is best for people’s health. I have a hard time believing that. Here are some reasons why:

Despite the fact that the American Diabetes Association tells us that most overweight people will never get diabetes, the concepts of obesity and diabetes have been so conflated that the term “diabesity” has come into vogue. Except it’s not by crazy random happenstance – the term “diabesity” was trademarked by a group called Shape Up America. According to their website, they are supposed to be “high profile national initiative to promote healthy weight and increased physical activity in America”. So why do you think for-profit diet companies like Weight Watchers International, Jenny Craig and Slim*Fast, not to mention pharmaceutical companies including Wyeth Ayerst, Ortho-McNeil, and Novartis, have donated millions of dollars to this initiative? An initiative which, if they thought it would actually work, would put them out of business? Do you think it’s possible that they know that the fat panic created by Shape Up will drive them customers who will have a 95% chance of failing and then becoming their customers again?

Speaking of diet companies, it wasn’t their idea to put disclaimers up every time they say that their product works. Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and other weight loss companies have been successfully sued for deceptive trade practices by the Federal Trade Commission, and their disingenuous practices have lead the FTC to create regulations specifically for their advertising. So they didn’t change their very profitable behavior of selling a product that they know has limited success, they just disclaimed it.

Weight Watchers in particular has been caught doing some really shady research. Counting people as successes twice when they lost weight, gained it back, then lost it again, making it seem like people who succeed on their first diet to lose the 10 pounds they gained after a break-up prove that people on their 20th diet can lose over 100 pounds, counting people as “successes” for statistical purposes as soon as they lose 5% of their body weight, even if that leaves those people in the same BMI category in which they started (and therefore, based on their own literature, at the same health risks as when they started.)

The Strong4Life campaign put up billboards, bus shelter signs and commercials showing healthy confident fat kids acting like unhealthy unhappy fat kids who don’t have clothes that fit them, with slogans like “Being fat takes the fun out of being a kid”. They claimed that it was necessary to shame, stigmatize and humiliate fat kids in order to make them healthier. The program is the brainchild of Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. They are a not-for-profit organization and in addition to taking donations from Waffle House, IHOP, and Dairy Queen while denouncing the food that they serve, they also took over $145,000 in donations from Coca-Cola and Pepsi. I notice that on the Strong4Life campaign’s Quick Start tips page, they caution against drinking juice, but say nothing about soda. Is it because the juice companies could not come up with $145,000? They are also running a weight loss clinic for kids including performing partial stomach amputations for weight loss in children despite the fact that the practice is considered highly questionable.

If these are their best intentions I’d hate to see their worst. Here are some of the many companies, industries, and people that benefit financially from the conflation of weight and health, the stereotype of thinness as beauty that lead to stigma and shame being heaped on fat people in our society, and from making sure that we focus on weight and not health:

The diet industry – Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, MediFast,Slim*Fast, Jess Weiner etc.
Pharmaceutical Companies that manufacture weight loss drugs
The Biggest Loser Franchise (advertising for the show, DVDs, supplements, soundtracks, t-shirts, and more)
Women’s magazines who depend on a staggering number of weight loss articles to sell issues
Weight loss surgery centers, weight loss surgeons
Companies, like Allergan, that sell weight loss surgery implements
Doctors who specialize in weight loss
Researchers who specialize in researching weight loss (to the exclusion of other health practices)
Publishing companies who publish books about weight loss
Authors of weight loss books
And more…

One of my favorite things about the Support All Kids billboard campaign is that it gets money flowing in the other direction. It makes me happy to buy books about Health at Every Size and take workshops about Health at Every Size because it sends my money in the other direction. It makes me happy when I or one of my colleagues is paid as a speaker by universities and by those who attend our workshops. I am happy whenever I see that someone has created a product to help people live a HAES life because it allows people to get good information, and send their money in the other direction. I can’t stop everyone from calling me a cow, but by voting with my wallet I can stop being a cash cow for industries that perpetuate hysteria about, and shame and stigmatization of, my friends and me all the while claiming that it’s “for our own good”.

iVillage Update

I did a piece for iVillage about Stacy Irvine, the girl whose collapse from anemia and breathing problems led to the discovery that her diet consisted almost entirely of chicken nuggets. Every article mentioned that she was at a healthy weight, although you would think that the situation would help them see that there is no such thing as a healthy weight. Anyway, you can find the article here, it is unapologetically HAES without the usual “of course, obesity is still bad blah blah blah” paragraph and so publishing it was a kind of a bold move for iVillage - so if you feel like reading and commenting then go for it!

Georgia Billboard Update

Speaking of that Georgia Billboard Campaign, we are only 98 donors away from hitting the 1,000 that we need to unlock our $5,000 More of Me To Love matching grant. At that point we’ll close donations and begin implementation. If you haven’t donated there is still time to stand up for bullied kids and be part of this. If you have donated then consider asking a friend to donate. You can link to http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/enough-is-enough-the-big-fat-money-bomb/ to give them all the details and the donation links, or send them directly to the solidarity dollar site at http://tinyurl.com/solidaritydollar. It would be awesome to get this done today!

This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads. If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen

Who could be against “Healthy Children of All Sizes?” Part I

2012-02-09T03:22:45Z

Me. Alright, I’m exaggerating somewhat. I’m not at all against healthy children of all sizes. But I’m *totally* against Healthy …

How to let yourself intersect

2012-02-08T14:27:00Z

Intersectionality was originally put forth as a feminist concept, but has since spread to many other sociological arenas. Essentially, it says that none of us live any part of our lives in a vacuum. When we talk about fat discrimination, our gender, race, height, coloring, socioeconomic level, immigrant status, and a million other aspects of ourselves affect both the discrimination and our

Unpacking the Fat: People Like Me

2012-02-08T13:29:44Z

1. People like me get thrown off flights, especially if they’re too full, and asked to pay double for the privilege of waiting for the next one.

2. People like me can’t shop in most malls. We get strange looks and downright condescension if we go into certain stores.

3. I can’t turn on the TV and expect to see someone like me, in general. If I do, then that person is almost always being portrayed as something broken to be fixed, or otherwise in a negative light.

4. When I see people like me talked about in the news, it’s about how horrible people like me are, and what is the best way to get rid of people like me.

5. If I go to an adoption agency I will be told that people like me shouldn’t be parents.

6. If I go to an infertility clinic I will be told that people like me shouldn’t be parents.

7. If my child is someone like me (which they have a good chance of being) I will be told I shouldn’t be a parent. My child might even get taken away from me.

8. I can’t open a magazine and expect to see people like me. However I can expect to see ad after ad for products on how to prevent becoming like me, or how to ‘fix’ someone like me.

9. If I ride the subway/bus, I get dirty looks. People don’t think someone like me deserves to sit. If I stand, they tell me that I’m in the way of everyone else.

10. If I take a walk down the street in a populated area I can expect to be told how horrible I am from passing cars, pedestrians, people in shops — anyone I meet. I might even get things thrown at me, like garbage.

11. If I go to the gym I can expect to get talked down to, and treated like the reason I’m there is to ‘fix’ myself from being so broken and horrible.

12. If I drive my car instead of walk it’s taken as proof of why people like me are horrible. If I don’t go to a public gym it’s taken as proof of why people like me are so horrible.

13. There is big money for people who are trying to eliminate people like me. They especially want to eliminate children who are like me. Most other people, even some people like me, think this is a wonderful thing. They hail an ‘enlightened’ future world that no longer has people like me in it.

14. People like me are blamed for the broken healthcare system.

15. People like me are blamed for global warming.

16. People like me are told that we can’t do certain things, and when we do, we’re told that we’re the exception that proves the rule.

17. I pay three times as much as what other people do for clothes, and it’s often much worse quality, style, fit, and selection. Clothes for people like me are segregated in stores and online, if they are available at all.

18. With some regularity the media debates on morning and news shows if people like me should exist, and how best to get rid of us if not.

19. People like me aren’t in trendy establishments. We are either barred from going, or the place can’t accommodate us, or we get condescended to and pressured to leave as soon as we walk through the door.

20. I can wear the same style and cut of clothing as someone who is not like me, and told that while it is perfectly decent on her, it is indecent on me.

21. People like me are told that we shouldn’t leave the house because of how awful we are, but that we are so awful because we never leave the house.

22. People like me are denied life-saving surgeries and the opportunity to donate organs unless we change.

23. My friends and family think it’s their duty to tell me how horrible I am, and how I should change.

24. People like me are told that we are stupid, lazy, immoral, and broken with regularity. I can expect to hear this several times a day.

25. People like me are never the heroes of books or movies. We are usually cast as the villain.

26. The very existence of people like me is called one of the top problems of our modern age.

DISCLAIMER: Not complete, nor in any particular order. A list like this is always a work in progress. I might edit to add more later. Feel free to add your own in the comments, and I might add them to the list. Thanks to the authors of the many privilege-unpacking lists I’ve seen in my time.

My STANDard

2012-02-08T12:00:06Z

There’s an effort afoot, led by Ragen Chastain, to buy space for a billboard in Georgia saying “WARNING! Shame is bad for your health!” If you want to help out, they’re raising funds at http://www.gofundme.com/dp16w

Also check out this great post on this same topic:

http://healthateverysizeblog.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/the-haes-files-a-tale-of-two-billboards/

Please join in the “I STAND…” photos, if you like! Email your photo and credo to marilyn@fatso.com

Hey, Get Off My Foot!

2012-02-08T11:40:42Z

Yesterday a federal appeals court ruled against California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage. The basis of the ruling is that the ban unconstitutionally singles out gays and lesbians for discrimination. One thing that really struck me was an argument made by those in opposition that federal judge Vaughn Walker (now retired) should have stepped aside and let another judge hear the case. Walker is the judge who found Proposition 8 unconstitutional in 2010. After he retired he came out as gay and in a long-term relationship, and so Proposition 8 advocates argued that he should not have heard the case.

Their belief, then is that in order for a group to get civil rights, everybody but the oppressed group gets a vote, but the oppressed people must recuse themselves from the fight for their own civil rights. To paraphrase the brilliant Dr. Deb Burgard, that’s rather like saying that if someone is stepping on your foot in an elevator, the rest of the people in the elevator should be polled to see if the person should stop. It’s even more problematic than that since typically the oppressing group is gaining something from their behavior.

That’s not how civil rights work – no oppressed group has ever won their civil rights by waiting for everyone else to decide to stop oppressing them, treat them with respect, and give them their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It breaks my heart to see fat people who believe that they deserve the shame and stigma that are heaped on us by society, that they deserve to pay more for insurance, to get lower wages than their thin counterparts, an dbe discriminated against in the hiring process. I don’t need polling data to know that I deserve better than that. In fact, I don’t care if 99% of people think I don’t, someone is stepping on my foot and they need to get the hell off, period. If we want to be treated better, we have to be the first ones to stand up and say that we deserve better, and then demand it. You are, of course, under no obligation to become a fat civil rights activist. My point is that you can if you want, you don’t have to wait for anyone’s permission.

Speaking of insurance and workplace benefits (see what I did there with that segue…) I did an article for Texas CEO magazine about the dangers of “carrot and stick” benefits programs that punish employees who are perceived as unhealthy because of their body size. You can check it out here if you would like! (And as always, comments are appreciated because they make me look popular!)

The Georgia Billboard Project is SO CLOSE – We just need 169 people to find $1.00 in the couch cushions and these kids get $5,000 worth of support from the More of Me to Love Match donation. Large billboards, small billboards, bus shelter signs and tons of media to support these kids are all just 169 donors away. If you haven’t donated there is still time to stand up for bullied kids and be part of this. If you have donated then ask a friend to donate. You can link to http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2012/02/02/enough-is-enough-the-big-fat-money-bomb/ to give them all the details and the donation links, or send them directly to the solidarity dollar site at http://tinyurl.com/solidaritydollar. It would be awesome to get this done tomorrow!

Rage Against Injustice

2012-02-08T10:01:39Z

Following on from my last post, and after the good ole ranty pants I had on Twitter this evening, I want to talk some more about anger. Because you know, the minute a woman stands her ground and says “Enough!” she is accused of two things – being selfish and being angry.

I think there is a whole lot of shame attached to anger, particularly in women. We’ve talked before about how accusing someone of being angry is meant to derail and silence someone who is speaking up/out about something. I want to expand on that a bit further.

Particularly on the accusation “You’re such an angry person.” that so often gets thrown in the direction of women.

When it comes to social justice, which is what fat activism is a form of, anger is a completely understandable emotion to feel, and to see from social justice activists. Because really, we’re talking about injustices here. We’re talking about the oppression of people based on their size. We’re talking about the open hatred of people because of their weight. We’re talking about social and medical discrimination of human beings. We’re talking physical, emotional and social abuse of a whole swathe of people, simply because their bodies don’t fit into a narrow, arbitrary measure of “acceptable”. I say there’s something wrong with you if you’re not getting angry about this.

In fact, I get angry about ALL forms of social injustice, be they based on gender, size, race, sexuality, spiritual beliefs, physical ability, economic status or beyond. I get angry at the marginalisation and oppression of human beings for any arbitrary reason. Because it’s fucking wrong!

If that shit isn’t making you angry… there’s something wrong.

Of course, speaking up about any of this gets that dreaded accusation “You’re such an angry person!!”

What many people fail to understand, is that they so often only see one aspect of someone. Many readers of my activism work know little more about me than what I write here, or tweet. They see just this perspective, Kath in her activist boots.

We’re all a whole lot more multi-faceted than that. Yes, as an activist, there is a good amount of anger expressed through my work. But then there’s my career – those people only know me through my employment. They see a different side of me, and many of them don’t know about the activism I do. They see dedicated Kath who loves her job to bits and most of the time, has a whole lot of fun doing it. They see Library Kath, in her librarian hat.

Beyond that, there are people who know me primarily through my hobbies. They see yet another facet of me. They see someone who loves to have fun and laugh. They see playful Kath, who loves to try new things and expand her horizons. They see Leisure Kath, in her leisure dress.

Then there is Kath the friend. Kath who cares about the people in her life. The Kath that wants to hear when her friends are going through good times and bad. They see Friend Kath, in her friend socks.

Then there is private Kath. This is the Kath who enjoys her own company, likes quiet down time on her own, away from any need to perform to other’s expectations. Almost nobody sees this Kath, since she likes to keep that side of herself to herself. That is Kath, in her private underpants.

Some very special people in my life get to see all those facets, and they know me better than others, so they see the whole outfit – dress, hat, socks, boots and if they’re really lucky, underpants. They see all of me, the whole outfit. They see that the anger is tempered by the humour, which is balanced by the caring, which is strengthened by the intelligence. Now sometimes parts of those aspects of myself get a bit worn through, and I have to lean on the others. That’s how it is with everyone – we sometimes focus on one aspect of our lives more than others, until we are refreshed about our careers, our loved ones, our activism, our hobbies etc.

Yet because people may only see certain parts of the whole, they decide they can judge someone only on the strength of the part they see. So in my case, lots of people know me as the angry fatty, who rants and raves about how people treat fat folks.

I hold no shame for my anger. Just like love, or humour, or sadness, or passion, or worry, or dedication, it is part of who I am and a genuine emotion that I have as much right to express as any other emotion.

Many people equate anger with violence as well – but the two are not the same thing. I believed they were until my late teens, because that’s what I was taught anger was. I was taught all my childhood and most of my teens that if you made someone angry, the repercussion was violence. It wasn’t until I met a dear friend of mine at 17 (hey Big Dude, love you!), who taught me that someone could be absolutely livid, totally pissed off, and not engage in violence at all.

Anger can be damaging, for sure. It can be damaging if we direct it towards the wrong things. It is also damaging if we let it fester inside us and don’t deal with it.

So often, we bottle up our anger. We suppress it to be “nice” or “polite”. Particularly women – women are expected to be pleasant and nice, caring and gentle. We’re not allowed to express anger at hurt or injustice. If we are, we’re aggressive, unfeminine… bitches. So instead, many women learn to be passive-aggressive, and engage in snark or spite.

For the first… well most of my life, I didn’t express my anger at injustice. I held it in, worried about what people thought about me. So it came out at things. Instead of allowing myself to be angry at people for behaving like complete arsehats, I let it fester inside me until I took it out on something inanimate. I can’t tell you how many appliances I’ve destroyed in complete rage that was boiling over from the way I had been treated as a fat woman.

Now, I focus my anger on the injustices of the world. Instead of swallowing my anger at bigotry and ignorance and hate, which forces it to surface later, in my job or at my loved ones, I let that rage out at where it should be - at the injustices towards human beings.

Filed under: activism, anger, emotion, injustice, women

Beauty and Strength

2012-02-08T05:53:00Z

Part of the Charge of the Goddess, one of the most widely used and easily recognizable pieces of written work in the Pagan community, reads as follows:

"Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you."

That's my favourite part of the whole thing, and it sprang to mind tonight while browing Youtube and stumbling upon the video below. I've never seen a full traditional Hawaiian hula dance before; like many here in North America, my knowlege of such things is limited to costume/theme parties and the Disney film Lilo and Stitch. What I see in this video is so much more, and so much better than what I know. It's authentic, alive and vibrant, much like the traditional dances of the pow-wow or other First Nations celebrations. It deserves to be seen and shared and not be used as a costume at Hallowe'en or an office party theme.

Parents

2012-02-08T02:34:20Z

It is beginning to sink in that my father is dying. My mother died nearly 6 years ago, so I’ve been managing his finances and meeting with doctors and such.

A large part of me feels numb.

I’ve written before that I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents as an adult. Part of this was due to my fat, though that certainly wasn’t the only issue. In the past couple years I’ve gone from seeing my father a few times a year to seeing him once a week or more. He seems to feel that he’s very close to me. I see him as an amiable relative who is slipping away. It’s also a loss, both of what was, and a reminder of what could have been.

I should note that I’m not sure I can have a full, two-sided relationship with someone with dementia. Partly it’s the memory loss (he’s asked me to visit at least once a month, and I explained I’ve been visiting once a week). He is dependent on me, in many ways, and that affects things. I’m not looking for the relationship I didn’t have 20 years ago, because that’s not possible now. But I am reminded of the relationship we could have had 20 or 30 years ago.

This isn’t just my regrets, or my loss of a parent. He made his own choices. It’s very possible that his dementia is due to his longterm drinking. I know his drinking affected our relationship, and my relationship with my mother, same as I know their wanting me to be thin affected me and my relationship with my parents.

I realize these may not be the typical feelings at facing the eventual loss of a parent. But there it is.

Filed under: Family, Me

One small step for man....

2012-02-07T19:54:00Z

One giant leap for all human rights. Prop 8 gets one more critical blow from the justice system, which is finally living up to its name.

A quote from Judge Stephen Reinhardt:

"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as

the HAES files: a tale of two billboards

2012-02-07T16:15:34Z

by Jeanette DePatie, (the Fat Chick), MA, ACE

Lately the Strong4Life campaign in Georgia has received a lot of publicity and a LOT of pushback. For those of you who aren’t familiar, this is a group of ads that depict fat children in black and white photography and seeks to convey how miserable it is to be a fat child. They claim that this is a “wake up call” for parents who apparently don’t know that their kids are fat and have somehow missed the message in our culture that being fat is a “bad” thing. They insist their goal is not to make kids feel bad (even though the images look like shots of hardened criminals). But it’s hard to imagine that chubby children encounter these ads via magazines, the web, television and even giant billboards and feel GOOD about themselves.

But ASDAHonians should take heart. This week I’ve interviewed two amazing women who are involved in specific pieces of activism aimed at counteracting the negative effects of this ad campaign. Both of these activities are extremely easy to join and both have used new technology and social media to create a groundswell of publicity around and support for the Health At Every Size® approach to health.

ASDAH Member Marilyn Wann has initiated an amazing campaign called “I STAND against weight bullying.” In this campaign, Marilyn has created a design template that imitates the Strong4Life ads and invites people to submit pictures of themselves and positive statements to represent themselves. Marilyn’s amazing design team takes the photos, cuts out the images of the people and puts them as well as the positive statements into the I STAND design template. These photos are then shared via facebook, twitter, tumblr, flickr, and other social networking tools. You can see some of the images submitted by your very own ASDAH leadership team here in this blog post. So far well over 200 images have been created. I caught up with Marilyn in the midst of this extremely popular project and she agreed to an interview:

What gave you the idea for this project?

I’ve been aware of these awful billboards since they went up last year. I always thought they were a hateful blight on the Georgia landscape very much like the 1-800-GET-THIN billboards are a blight on the California landscape. I tend to think visually and so I was aware of how much damage these negative images can do. But I started to wonder about how I could take the negative charge of their images and turn it into a positive charge for people of all sizes. What if we could create and share positive images of people of all sizes who are comfortable and happy in their bodies? How powerful would that be?

How did the project start?

The project started with a single STANDard. (I call these images STANDards.) I just wanted to create one of me with a powerful image and statement. I had a friend snap a few quick cell phone pictures of myself, and then Nicole Peirce helped me create an image that looked very similar to the Strong4Life versions. But the image had large red letters on it. Those letters made me feel tense. I realized that the color red usually implies warning or danger or fear. This is the opposite of the feelings I was hoping to convey. So we changed the red to hot pink, which to me symbolize health and happiness and joy. Once we did that, we realized that we had a very powerful image and we posted it.

So then you invited others to join you?

Yes! The moment I posted the picture, I realized it was something other people could do too! Almost immediately people started asking if they could submit images too. So we just developed it as a “meme dream” and put out invitations. And I want to say something about those invitations. They are open to EVERYBODY. I have had people email or call and say they want to do an image, but they have a health issue or they are in a wheel chair or they have some other reservation. This is an open invitation. If you have a picture and something positive to say, you’re welcome. And the images have just been pouring in!

Why do you think this has been so popular?

There are plenty of us that are good and angry. But we want to express our anger while doing something good. This effort unites people in our movement. It’s hard to feel powerful when you feel like you are completely alone. But when you see hundreds of images of people of all sizes standing up and saying, “hey I love myself and I love my body and my life rocks!” well, how powerful is that? We take the finger pointing and finger wagging and blaming of Strong4Life and turn it on its head. Instead of spreading fear and prejudice, we stand AGAINST bullying and FOR joy and life and health.

How do you think the “I STAND against weight bullying campaign” represents the Health At Every Size® approach to wellness?

I think this represents the HAES^SM model mostly in terms of its positive approach. It takes the approach of the pleasure principle as opposed to the punishment principle. It’s the difference between motivation and eagerness. When we are asked to do something we may not really like (which for me might be to go to the gym and get on an exercise bike) then we have to be continually motivated. But when we do something healthful we like (which for me is going for a fabulous bike ride outside) we feel a sense of eagerness. When it comes down to it, people are eager to like their own bodies. They are eager to engage in pleasurable activities. They are eager to eat delicious and sustaining foods. A HAES approach is about connecting with this eagerness. These images from dozens and hundreds of people are coming from their own hearts and express the eagerness experienced in a Health At Every Size life. People end up avoiding exercise or nutrition when those goals are motivated by shame. Enjoying eating well and exercising can come from loving one’s body and not hoping to change one’s body–core values, I imagine, of these photos and of the HAES principles.

ASDAH Member, Blogger and Fat Activist Ragen Chastain has worked with several other members of the size acceptance community to create a campaign to raise money for billboards that feature a size-positive response to the Strong4Life ads. She spearheaded the Support All Kids Billboard Project and kicked off the fund raising last week. Since last week’s launch, she has raised over $12,000 for size-positive billboards in Georgia. She only needs about 250 more donors to make a contribution (at any size) to unlock a $5,000 matching grant from More of Me to Love. You can help by making a donation. I caught up with Ragen this past weekend and she graciously agreed to an interview.

How did you come up with the idea for the billboard campaign?

I had been thinking for a while about how powerful it would be to have positive images of fat people on billboards as a way to give people of size a chance to see ourselves positively represented in the media. I talked about my frustration about Strong4Life on my blog and someone from wellroundedmama.blogspot.com left a comment saying that she wished we had enough money for our own billboards. I felt that this would be an amazing response to the Strong4Life campaign. The next day did a poll of my blog readers and people were excited about it. The only negative comment I got was that I shouldn’t bother because there was no way we could raise the money (which the commenter estimated to be $3,000). I felt like our community was ready to do something big, and I didn’t want to be held back by the notion that we shouldn’t try something big because it’s difficult or because we might fail.

Who else is working on it with you?

This has been a massive team effort. Marilyn Wann from Fat!So?, Shannon Russell of Fierce Freethinking Fatties, and Rachel Adams who did our web design were absolutely instrumental in this effort. Jay Solomon (ASDAH member) and the folks from More of Me to Love also extremely generous in offering a $5,000 matching donation that was half of what we needed to raise to put our billboard up, as well as getting the word out.

Why is this important to you?

They are kids. They are kids and they are being shamed and stigmatized by an organization that purports to care about their health. All the while that organization is taking hundreds of thousands of dollars in donations from corporations of which they claim to be critical (Pepsi, Coke, Golden Corral etc.). They are kids standing on the front lines while adults humiliate them and call it healthcare, and we need to get their backs.

What has surprised you the most about the campaign so far?

I was most surprised at the speed of the response. I believed we would hit our goal of raising $5,000 in the first day but I thought that it might be a mad dash at the end of the 24 hour Big Fat Money Bomb. Then, as I prepared to get everything posted at midnight people were e-mailing me asking for the link so that they could donate. Once we launched it the support literally poured in – we raised $1565 in the first hour, when I went to bed (at 4am!) we were at $3,290. By the end of the 24 hours we were just over $12,000.

If you had your dream come true, what would the outcome of this campaign be?

If my dream came true every kid who has ever been bullied or made to feel less than because of their weight would find this campaign and realize that they are worthy and valued and deserving of respect in the body they have now. Their new understanding would be supported when First Lady Michelle Obama stood at a microphone and said “I had the best of intentions when I focused on the weight of kids as a way to improve their health, but I now know that was a mistake, I was wrong and I’m sorry to all of the kids who were hurt when I confused their weight with their health. We are going to support developing healthy habits and high self-esteem in kids of all sizes using a Health At Every Size® approach. This is Dr. Linda Bacon, she’ll explain the research and talk about our new campaign…”

What one thing do you most want people to know about this campaign?

Right now I want people to know that we have raised enough money to put up our billboard and we are now raising what we need for other media including bus shelter signs, smaller billboard in downtown Atlanta etc. following the model created by Strong4Life to make sure that we get this message out. The More of Me to Love Matching grant is a challenge grant and to unlock it we need to get 1,000 individual donors. We are currently running a Solidarity Dollar campaign and if people want to support what we are doing. No donation is too small!

Do you think this is a good way to spread a Health At Every Size message?

I think that this is a great way to spread the message. Since CHOA’s controversial billboards have made it into National Media, our response is has the opportunity to earn National Media as well. In fact we’ve already been contacted by a major network news program, BBC News, and we’ve had an article in SF Weekly. We are getting the message out that shaming is bad for children’s health, and that we can be for developing healthy habits in kids of all sizes without stigmatizing any kids at all. The Health At Every Size paradigm is an evidence-based way to do just that.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

Thank you. I’m reticent to start listing people lest I miss someone but thank you to Marilyn, Shannon, Jay, Rachel, everyone at More of Me to Love, NAAFA, ASDAH and everyone who is involved in this campaign. I’m so excited about what we can do for kids in Georgia and the reverberation it could have. We have accomplished something huge and we should be incredibly proud of ourselves.

This is a remarkable time in the Health At Every Size movement. Ragen, Marilyn and their amazing partners (and that includes many of you!) have created unique opportunities to create positive, HAES messages for kids, parents and other people of all shapes and sizes. I encourage you to take a moment to contribute just a little of your time, money, energy, voice, creativity, publicity or other resources to these amazing efforts!

ASDAH President Deb Lemire blogged about the Strong4Life website video campaign that accompanied the billboards.

ASDAH’s Leadership Team Supports the I STAND project!

Not pictured: Jennifer Copeland, Education Co-Chair; Paul Ernsberger, Research

Tagged: BMI, body acceptance, body love, CDC, childhood obesity, Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, CHOA, Dances With Fat, diet, discrimination, diversity, Eating disorder awareness week, eating disorders, exercise, fat, FatSo, fitness, Georgia billboards, HAES, health, Health At Every Size, health promotion, healthism, linda bacon, Marilyn Wann, Michelle Obama, nourish, nutrition, obesity, obesity epidemic, Ragen Chastain, statistics, stigma, strong4life, walking, war on obesity, weekend warrior, weight, weight cycling, wellness, World Health Organization

Baby Led Weaning, “starves children and leads to underweight!!”

2012-02-07T15:27:50Z

Did that headline get your attention? I had a little fun with that one. The real headlines? “BLW prevents obesity!”

Of course, because that seems to be the only way to get attention these days. What if the headline had said, “BLW starves babies and makes them underweight!” Equally as valid sensationalism given the conclusions of the actual study.

But, I digress…This article about Baby led weaning is intriguing, but leaves me with lots of questions! If you aren’t familiar with BLW, take a minute to read my post from last year which is a primer. It was my most commented on post ever!

Remember, my conclusion is that you can do either BLW or spoon-feed and have a healthy feeding relationship that supports healthy growth, if you follow your child’s lead!

“Researchers analysed two methods of weaning – baby-led weaning with finger foods, versus traditional spoon-feeding by parents. The sample included 92 children who had been weaned on finger foods and 63 who were traditionally spoon-fed. Parents filled in questionnaires on how their children had been weaned, including how often they ate certain foods.”

“Some 94% of youngsters in the baby-led group had never choked as a result of being given solid foods.”

”Our results suggest that infants weaned through the baby-led approach learn to regulate their food intake in a manner which leads to a lower BMI (body mass index) and a preference for healthy foods like carbohydrates.

The actual article at least acknowledged: There was an increased incidence of (1) underweight in the baby-led group and (2) obesity in the spoon-fed group. No difference in picky eating was found between the two weaning groups. (surprising, since the book claims BLW means less picky eating, and I actually thought it might lead to greater variety as well…)

There is a major problem with these types of studies, with small numbers especially as they look at the children in one point of time, not at the growth patterns over time… Perhaps the “underweight” and “overweight” kids were healthy and growing at a steady rate… Perhaps kids in the “normal” group were dropping percentiles, or increasing…

So I did a little more digging, and found a few other things. The age of the groups of children at testing were very different. The BLW group was on average 32 months old, the spoon-fed group was 40 months. Big difference. BLW babies were breast fed for 23 months vs 9 months for spoon-fed. No report of choking in the spoon-fed. (A 6% incidence of true choking may be higher than acceptable, but the study is too small, 1 kid essentially…)

This chart was also interesting for several reasons. The increase in “underweight” was significant, but also look at how the NHS (National health service in England) and the CDC have chosen different arbitrary cut-offs for “underweight” and “overweight” and obese, and how different the conclusions might be based on that!

	Baby-led group (n=63)	Spoon-fed group (n=63)
WHO z-score^†
−3	1 (1.6%)	0 (0%)
−2	2 (3.2%)	0 (0%)
−1	5 (7.9%)	3 (4.8%)
0	39 (61.9%)	40 (63.5%)
1	15 (23.8%)	12 (19.0%)
2	1 (1.6%)	8 (12.7%)
3	0 (0%)	0 (0%)
NHS percentiles
Underweight (<2)	3 (4.7%)	0 (0%)
Healthy weight (2–90)	51 (81.0%)	53 (84.1%)
Overweight (91–97)	9 (14.3%)	2 (3.2%)
Obese (98+)	0 (0%)	8 (12.7%)
CDC percentiles
Underweight (0–4)	6 (9.5%)	1 (1.6%)
Healthy weight (5–85)	49 (77.8%)	47 (74.6%)
Overweight (86–95)	7 (12.7%)	8 (12.7%)
Obese (96+)	1 (1.6%)	7 (11.1%)

What I am getting at (not really sure what that is as I rush to get the first draft of my special needs chapter of my book done) is that these are complex issues, often not acknowledged in press releases or the headline-grabbing articles. We do need to be careful we aren’t causing more harm than good, and can’t just gloss over an increase in underweight without comment. Every child is different. Some children will thrive self-feeding, others may benefit from spoon-feeding, and often, a combination is the right approach. Supporting parents in being responsive, and not trying to get children to eat more or less than they might want is the way to go.

(Oh, and I love how they defined “carbohydrates” as “healthy” when I see carbs so often being blamed for the all nutritional ills…)

What do you think?

Fat Studies articles free downloads!

2012-02-07T13:27:00Z

You can download and read a selection of articles (including mine) from Fat Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Body Weight and Society for FREE until 30 June.

Get in there!

http://www.tandfonline.com/toc/ufts20/current

We Stand

2012-02-07T13:00:00Z

Thank you, Marilyn Wann and all her photoshopping volunteers for putting together this project. It means a lot to us to be able to take a stand.

If you haven't already donated to Ragen Chastain's fundraiser to put billboards up in Atlanta, GA protesting fat-shaming of children, they still need a few hundred donors to get a giant matching donation! You can donate as little as a dollar, or

Ripping off the Band-Aid

2012-02-07T12:00:17Z

Brief radio silence there, but I suppose most of you are used to that from me by now. Ha-ha! Wow, okay, where to start. Bit of a catch up here. All of the Fatty Affair stuff certainly did keep me busy, but that actually isn’t all. I will just come right on out with it because I know that if you read this blog you will understand where I am coming from already…

So, on January 13^th, I asked my husband for a divorce. Things have been strained for some time now and while there were many attempts on my part to work on and improve things, it seemed it was more one-sided than I could deal with in the long run. The beginning of this year sort of solidified some things in my head and brought other things to the foreground that I hadn’t been willing to address/recognize until then. I spent some time depressed and writing it out and all, but in the end I felt it must be done. I needed to find happiness within myself. I couldn’t continue to be hurt by waiting for him to be someone he never will be or to suddenly understand how to make me happy. His silence was like a knife in my heart every day and I felt it unfair to both of us to stay so unhappy.

The amazing part is that despite the initial shock, he totally gets it and supports me! I spent the week after Fatty Affair packing. I’d found a room for rent in a house in my actual neighborhood! It’s nuts how things work out sometimes. It’s three blocks from what is now my husband’s apartment. I moved in and spent my first night in the new place Sunday night. If you’ve ever been to my old café, I painted my room the exact color! It’s called “Sweet Nothings” by Valspar. I adore it! I get to have a bit of my café with me while also being surrounded by this gorgeous and not-too-vibrant color! And I bought a set of curtains…I’d never even had curtains before!

This past month and a week has been a whirlwind; mostly an emotional one, but a physical one, too. There were plenty of bumps and hiccups along the way, but I’m hopeful that the worst of those are over with. I certainly could not have done it without the love and support of my closest friends and this of course includes my husband.

I feel compelled to strike out on my own for the first time (for the most part) and seek out what the world has to offer! I want to begin writing my book and get back into the art scene and just do all the things, ya know?! Ha-ha! It is completely scary and terrifying; don’t get me wrong, I have never truly been on my own. I can’t say that I’ve ever not been in a relationship either. I’ll admit that my first night in the new place was entirely sleepless. I needn’t have expected anything more. That is typical of me. I don’t sleep well whenever anything major is happening or changing. No biggie.

I do not want sympathy or anything. I still love my husband; I have no ill will or even anger or anything towards him. Honestly, we’ve been getting along so much better the last couple of weeks than we have in years. Funny how things work out that way! We’re still close friends. We still hang out with our BFFs every Sunday night and except for living together, not much has changed. I have been surprised by my own emotions and find myself apologizing for stupid shit again, but I’m a work in progress, folks. Just goes with the territory.

So, yeah! Lots of crazy changes in my life lately. It’s a bit difficult for even me to wrap my head around. I mean, what with the new job (which is still great) and all…And yes, I did choose the absolute worst time ever for such a thing, but the heart wants what it wants when it wants it. The stress of it all was killing me. I hadn’t eaten or slept much in nearly two weeks before I finally told him and the very next day I felt so much better. I haven’t ruled out reconciling one day in the future, but he’s resigned to never marry again. I can’t say that I blame him. I know that part was just for me and I don’t even know why that was so important to me then. Fourteen years together, we started out as friends, we leaned on each other when our lives were difficult and here we are again.

Food Crisis and more on Georgia.

2012-02-07T02:30:03Z

By now many of have heard the story of a British teen who ate almost nothing but chicken mc nuggets and suffered health issues because of it. Amanda Hess, editor of the website GOOD points out:

It's also inspired timely commentary from health "experts." Last week, a PR agency pitched me a story pegged to Irvine's collapse. A "weight loss specialist" could be made available to "comment on the dangers of Stacey's addiction" and "speak to the dangers of childhood obesity." The doctor in question has "specialized in the study and treatment of Bariatric Medicine" and has "directed the operation of multiple Weight Loss Centers."

The teen was thin.

If you say something long enough it will become accepted as truth even if it's not.

Her health problems are not related to obesity, and they won't be solved by stapling her stomach. Yet we're so culturally hardwired to believe that unhealthy equals fat and vice versa that even photographic evidence...

An article from a foodie website was shocked that the girl isn't obese.

As I have mentioned before I believe that people should eat as best they can and move as much as they need. This doesn't just mean fat people. This oppressive moral crusade against fat people also damages the health of thin people. When thin equals healthy, thin people will assume they are healthy. I have to wonder if the teen figured she was healthy because she was thin.

Being fat is not the worst thing in life especially when there have been several studies which show that eating poorly and not fat is the cause of certain diseases. I'm not against campaigns for people to cut sugar, cigarettes, trans-fats and processed foods. (Although I question that they might be far more instustive than they should be). What am against is victimization of fat people by stigmatizing us, not for health but for moral reasons.

Meanwhile several projects against the ads in Altanta has grown by leaps and bounds. The first one the "I stand" or stand for kids campaign spearheaded by Marilyn Wann and Atchka Fatty of Fierce Thinking Fatties. There are hundreds of I Stand pictures, Pattie Thomas has done a short video here and Jennifer Jonassen created a much longer (both worth the watch) video.

And as mentioned on Saturday, Ragen Chastian is raising money to billboards and a media campaign against the CHOA ads. She is almost to the 15K goal but needs more donations to unlock to the 5k match. Here is information how to donate either through Paypal (where you can go as low as $1) or the fundraising website (minimum is $5). I've donated three times to help get the match, so please just send $1.

Induction Math: The Importance of the Bishop Score

2012-02-07T07:00:00Z

Image from Relay Health, as displayed on http://www.med.umich.edu/

Yet another study shows that inducing labor increases the risk for a cesarean, especially in first-time mothers with an unripe cervix (one that has not done much dilating and effacing yet).

In the study, they specifically looked at cesarean rates among induced mothers with an unripe cervix. They found that cesarean rates were particularly high among first-time mothers who were induced with an unripe cervix, but the risk was also elevated for mothers with prior vaginal births who were induced on an unripe cervix.

This is why it is absolutely vital to ask your provider about your Bishop Score before agreeing to induce labor.

The Bishop Score

The Bishop Score is a measure of how soft and ripe your cervix is before labor. It can help predict whether or not your body is ready for labor, and whether or not an induction is likely to succeed or fail.

A vaginal exam is done and the care provider evaluates the degree of:

cervical dilation (how far the cervix has opened so far)
cervical effacement (how thinned out the cervical walls are)
cervical consistency (how soft or firm the cervix is)
cervical position (whether the cervix is pointing forwards or backwards relative to the vaginal walls)
fetal station (how far down the baby is in the pelvis)

[If you need further explanation about the terminology above, you can find an excellent explanation and great illustrations here.]

Each factor is "graded" on a scale of 0-2 or 0-3. The maximum possible score is 13. This all adds up to what some doulas call "induction math".

The exact cut-offs used differs by source, but generally a score of 5 or less indicates the woman is unlikely to go into labor spontaneously at that time, and that an induction is likely to fail (result in a cesarean).

A score of 8 or more indicates that an induction is more likely to succeed. A score of 9 or more indicates the woman will likely go into labor on her own very soon.

Sometimes care providers use modifications of a Bishop Score to help predict likelihood of successful induction. One point may be added to the score for the existence of pre-eclampsia or for every previous vaginal birth. One point is often subtracted for a "postdates" pregnancy, being a first-time mother (or for no previous vaginal births), or preterm prelabor rupture of membranes.

The Bishop Score is just one tool for predicting a woman's response to induction. Obviously, other factors matter as well.

The Influence of Fetal Position

One often-overlooked factor is fetal position ─ which way a head-down baby is facing in utero. Most babies face either occiput anterior (back of the head towards mother's belly; baby looking at mother's back) or occiput posterior (back of the head towards mother's back; baby looking at mother's belly).

Often a low Bishop Score is associated with a posterior baby, which is a less ideal position for birth. In this position, the the baby's head is not putting pressure as efficiently on the cervix, so there is less cervical effacement or dilation, and the cervix is often posterior (pointed towards the lower vaginal wall and hard to reach during a vaginal exam). When the baby rotates to anterior, the Bishop Score often changes dramatically because the physics of the baby's pressure changes.

Many "overdue" babies are actually posterior babies whose positions are simply not putting the most efficient kind of pressure on the cervix to thin and dilate, and so the body wisely does not go into labor yet. Forcing the issue by inducing labor when the baby is posterior (or has other malpositions) tends to result in long, hard labors that often end in a c-section.

[This is a pet peeve for me, because it is the story of my first c-section....induced at 40 weeks despite a very low Bishop Score (the OB told me I had a "horrible" cervix) and a malpositioned baby. Small wonder I ended up with a cesarean!]

So if your Bishop Score is low, it may not just be that your body is not "ripe" for labor, it may also be that the reason you are not ripe is because the baby is not in a great position for labor. For that reason, it may be wise to delay inducing until the baby is in a more favorable position for labor.

Seeing a pregnancy chiropractor and getting adjusted may help encourage the baby to get into a better position for labor, which in turn might lessen your chances for a cesarean. (This is what was key for me in my VBACs.)

Induction Triples the Risk for Cesarean in First-Time Mothers

In the 2011 study listed below, the charts of women who were induced with a Bishop score of less than 7 were studied.

Those first-time moms who were induced with a Bishop score less than 7 had a whopping 42% cesarean rate.

This shows just how important it is to have a nice ripe cervix before inducing labor, and especially so in first-time moms, whose cervices have never dilated before.

Sometimes a doctor will try to reassure you that it doesn't matter if your cervix isn't ripe; they use drugs that help ripen the cervix before starting the induction drugs. And it's true that these drugs can help at times.

However, even with cervical ripening methods, many inductions still fail. Cervical ripening drugs are simply not a panacea for preparing the body for birth when it's not ready. They work best when the baby is in good position and the body is close to being ready but not quite there yet. Cervical ripening methods are very unlikely to help in women with very low Bishop Scores.

Now, if the cervix has dilated before, induction is more likely to work. Women who had had vaginal births before had a much lower cesarean rate after induction in this study, 14%. Still, this was nearly double the cesarean rate of those multips who went into labor spontaneously.

Obviously, cervical ripeness matters, even in women who have had vaginal births before.

Take-Home Points About Induction

Additional research confirms that cervical ripeness is one of the key factors in whether or not an induction will work. Here are some take-home lessons from the 2011 study:

Whenever possible, wait to go into labor spontaneously
If induction is being considered, try to avoid inducing if your Bishop Score is less than 7

Other general bits of wisdom about inductions:

Try to see a provider who is not induction-happy and won't induce automatically at a certain gestation. This is especially important for women of size, because many providers induce "obese" women at extremely high rates (a 50-60% induction rate is common in many recent studies). This is a direct but under-acknowledged factor in the very high cesarean rate in women of size.

Question whether an induction is truly necessary in your case. Many inductions are done routinely, simply because it is convenient for the provider or protocol to induce by a certain gestational age. However, you don't have to agree to this intervention. Discuss the pros and cons of the induction vs. waiting with the provider, and see if you can negotiate for more time.

If you are contemplating an induction, ask about your Bishop Score before agreeing to the induction. If at all possible, try not to induce before you have a favorable Bishop Score.

If you are contemplating induction, ask about your baby's position before agreeing to the induction. If the baby is not anterior, consider delaying the induction. Seeing a well-trained pregnancy chiropractor may help encourage the baby to get into an easier position for birth.

If a medical condition makes induction necessary even with an unripe cervix, look into ways to increase cervical ripeness before the induction. This can include acupuncture, herbs, and cervical ripening agents. Consider the pros and cons of each choice carefully for your situation, and remember that gentler methods generally need a longer time to be effective. Don't wait to the last minute to try the more gentle methods of cervical ripening if you are very likely to face induction.

Be sure your provider allows adequate induction time before resorting to a cesarean. Recent research has shown that many providers move to a cesarean too soon in an induction; allowing just a few more hours (provided mother and baby are doing well ) may result in a vaginal birth after all.

Remember, induction doesn't automatically mean you're going to have a cesarean; many women who are induced do end up having a vaginal birth. Go in with a positive attitude, try to remain as mobile as possible, and be sure to have professional labor support (a doula), who can often help maximize your chances even during an induction. However, because an induction does increase the chances for cesarean, be prepared for any possibility and have a cesarean birth plan ready if one becomes necessary.

Induction is more and more common these days. This is why it is important for all women to be informed birth consumers and learn more about their choices around induction. The Bishop Score is an important ─ and often overlooked ─ part of this discussion.

*Thanks to Holistic NYC Doula for the term "induction math" and for her excellent posts on the topic of the Bishop Score.

References

Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand. 2011 Oct;90(10):1094-9. doi: 10.1111/j.1600-0412.2011.01213.x. Epub 2011 Jul 21. Induction of labor and the risk for emergency cesarean section in nulliparous and multiparous women. Thorsell M, et al. PMID: 21679162

OBJECTIVE: To assess the risk for emergency cesarean section among women in whom labor was induced in gestational week ≥41 and to evaluate if parity and mode of induction affected this association.
DESIGN: Hospital-based retrospective cohort study.
POPULATION: Singleton pregnancies delivered after ≥41 gestational weeks at Danderyd Hospital, Stockholm, Sweden, during 2002-2006.
MATERIAL AND METHODS: Of 23 030 singleton pregnancies meeting the entry criteria, 881 were induced with a Bishop score of less than 7. Obstetric outcome was assessed through linkage with the Swedish Medical Birth Registry and a local obstetrical database containing information from patients' medical files. Results were adjusted for body mass index, age and the use of epidural analgesia.
MAIN OUTCOME MEASURE: Risk for emergency cesarean section.
RESULTS: Among women who were induced, the proportions delivered by emergency cesarean section were 42% for nulliparous and 14% for multiparous. Compared to spontaneous onset, this corresponded to a more than threefold increase in risk for nulliparous women (OR 3.34, 95% CI 2.77-4.04) and an almost twofold increase in risk for multiparous women (OR 1.94, 95% CI 1.24-3.02). There was no significant difference in risk for emergency cesarean section between the two methods of induction (PGE(2) and transcervical catheter).
CONCLUSIONS: Compared to spontaneous onset of delivery, induction of labor is associated with an increased risk for emergency cesarean section both among nulliparous and multiparous women. When labor is induced, the high risk for emergency cesarean must be kept in mind.

Clin Obstet Gynecol. 2006 Sep;49(3):564-72. Preinduction cervical assessment. Baacke KA, Edwards RK. PMID: 16885663

The rate of labor induction is increasing in the United States. Methods for quantifying cervical factors have been developed to identify patients who may benefit from cervical ripening before induction. The first cervical scoring systems used digital examination. More recently, cervical ultrasound and testing for the presence of fetal fibronectin have been suggested to evaluatecervical readiness for labor induction, but neither of these methods provides a significant improvement over digital examination. The Bishop score, the most widely used digital examination scoring system, still is the most cost effective and accurate method of evaluating the cervix before labor induction.

Obstet Gynecol. 2005 Apr;105(4):690-7. Bishop score and risk of cesarean delivery after induction of labor in nulliparous women. Vrouenraets FP, et al. PMID: 15802392

OBJECTIVE: To quantify the risk and risk factors for cesarean delivery associated with medical and elective induction of labor in nulliparous women.
METHODS: A prospective cohort study was performed in nulliparous women at term with vertex singleton gestations who hadlabor induced at 2 obstetrical centers. Medical and elective indications and Bishop scores were recorded before labor induction. Obstetric and neonatal data were analyzed and compared with the results in women with a spontaneous onset of labor. Data were analyzed using univariate and multivariable regression modeling.
RESULTS: A total of 1,389 women were included in the study. The cesarean delivery rate was 12.0% in women with a spontaneous onset of labor (n = 765), 23.4% in women undergoing labor induction for medical reasons (n = 435) (unadjusted odds ratio [OR] 2.24; 95% confidence interval [CI] 1.64-3.06), and 23.8% in women whose labor was electively induced (n = 189) (unadjusted OR 2.29; 95% CI 1.53-3.41). However, after adjusting for the Bishop score at admission, no significant differences in cesarean delivery rates were found among the 3 groups. A Bishop score of 5 or less was a predominant risk factor for a cesarean delivery in all 3 groups (adjusted OR 2.32; 95% CI 1.66-3.25). Other variables with significantly increased risk for cesarean delivery included maternal age of 30 years or older, body mass index of 31 or higher, use of epidural analgesia during the first stage oflabor, and birth weight of 3,500 g or higher. In both induction groups, more newborns required neonatal care, more mothers needed a blood transfusion, and the maternal hospital stay was longer.
CONCLUSION: Compared with spontaneous onset of labor, medical and elective induction of labor in nulliparous women at term with a single fetus in cephalic presentation is associated with an increased risk of cesarean delivery, predominantly related to an unfavorable Bishop score at admission.

Sure Could Use a Little Good News

2012-02-07T07:08:44Z

And I have some! This blog is a bunch of cool things, really not very related to one another. Read on because I’m about to reveal the super secret blog project that we’ve been talking about for a couple of months, I also have some cool news about levels of obesity. But first, as I write this (and remembering yesterday’s blog) I’ve just finished watching a show called “NFL Films – In Their Own Words”. It’s a show for which they have compiled clips of a player being mic’ed on the field, being interviewed etc. I’m watching it because I like anything that has to do with athletes and this episode is about Warren Sapp. At 6’2 and 330 pounds I watched him him run drills and play in games and he is amazing! His explosiveness off the line, his agility, his strength and speed are all impressive for an athlete of any size. A reporter asked him about his size and he said “I don’t have to look like some kind of god. It’s about going out and performing for three hours, it’s about your will.” You tell ‘em Warren.

So, the good news that I wanted to write about today is that studies are showing that, despite the crazy doom and gloom ohmygoddeathfatzarecomingforeveryone predictions that we will all be obese within the month or whatever and how horrible that is, in actuality rates of obesity are leveling off. Now, let’s not forget that part of the rise in obesity happened when a panel of people with strong financial ties to the dieting and pharma weight loss industries were able to convince the National Institutes of Health to lower the weight that is considered “normal”, making about 25 million people overweight overnight. Also, it’s interesting that the articles about this leveling off are finally admitting that nobody knows what caused the rise in obesity and nobody knows why it leveled off. Of course there were also reports that it had leveled off between 2003 and 2008 so the whole thing is highly questionable (especially when the conversation is driven by those who profit from a weight centered approach to health, and obesity hysteria). Now, we know that bodies come in all sizes, and I don’t actually care whether there are more, less, or the same number of obese people. What makes it good news to me is that every article that I’ve read about this has mentioned that dieting has not resulted in thinner people. What I am excited about is that maybe this will halt some of the obesity fear mongering and cause a retrospective look at the last 10 years, which I think will show the epic failure of the dieting industry and hopefully that will lead to people to being open to a discussion of a health centered paradigm. A girl can dream.

Super Secret Project Revealed!

You may remember me asking for pictures of fatties doing cool physical things. Here’s why. I became really frustrated with the lack of active online conversations about fitness where I felt comfortable. Forums about fitness ranged from subtle fat bashing to outright hostility, even in the best of circumstances I had to wade through a ton of weight loss talk to get to the actual fitness advice, and there was no advice to be had by people my size. At the same time I get a whole bunch of e-mails from people asking for fitness advice – everything from weight training questions to what do to about chub rub. I started thinking about what I could do to solve this problem so I talked to a couple of the awesome women who I’m lucky enough to know – Jeanette from The Fat Chick and Jayne from Slow Fat Triathlete – and we hatched a plan. On March 3rd we will be launching the Fit Fatty Forum. This is for anyone, of any size and any ability who wants to talk about fitness in an environment free from weight loss talk. Whether someone’s goal is to walk to their mailbox or run a marathon, there will be a place for them on the Fit Fatty Forum. This will be free to use, moderated to be a safe space, and will include discussions, a picture gallery, a video gallery, and an Ask A Fit Fatty section where you can ask your questions to an expert. I’m super excited about this. I’ll be giving you more information as the launch date comes up.

Support All Kids Billboard Project Update

Y’all we are so close to getting that $5,000 More of Me to Love Matching donation which will pay for small billboards in downtown Atlanta and signs at bus shelters. We just need 217 more individual donors. Today is “Ask a Friend Day”. If you’ve already contributed, consider asking a friend to donate a Solidarity Dollar (or posting http://www.SupportAllKids.com on your Facebook and/or Twitter) and asking people to Stand Up for these kids. I know is that when our giant billboard and all of our posters go up to support the kids of Georgia who’ve been shamed, stigmatized, and humiliated for the last 9 months, I will be so proud and grateful to have been part of it.

Monstanto Makes You Fat

2012-02-07T03:30:00Z

On Monday this picture appeared on my Facebook wall, posted by an acquaintance. I have seen, and written about, similar sentiments before, but this one takes the whole damn cake, but it also led to a little lightbulb moment for me.

There's a lot going on here explicitly and implicitly, and this is my take; Mega corporations like Monsanto are bad for us. GMOs, which Monsanto are infamous for developing, are therefore also bad for us. The pinnacle of human achievement is a man with an automatic gun and a bloody shovel (agriculture? peasant revolution? Beating down peasants? Herding the fat man forward? You be the judge). Thanks to things like McDonalds/fast food and companies like Monsanto, humans have passed our peak and become fat, with all it's awful associations. The next step down the road is mindless consumption, shown as the pig.

I left the following comment on both my friend's wall and on my own when I reposted the image: "I'm really sick of 'progressive' folks on the left (and just assholes on the right) using fat people as a scapegoat for the world's ills. Fat people are fat for a variety of reasons, not just because of poor diet and/or lack of excersise. Monsanto is evil; equating fat people with Monsanto makes fat people the enemy. I say no thanks to that thinking and think we can do better than stereotypes." A friend reposted it with my comment and added: Really. Knock it the fuck off. Your bigotry (hell yes, I went there) is unbecoming.

Under her post the conversation got heated as a mutual acquaintence said she didn't see this picture as a statment about fat people per say but more as a commentary on how Monsanto is turning us into mindless consumers unable to care for ourselves by robbing us of the ability to grow our own food, and making us eat that which we don't even know is safe. I was agog she didn't think this was about fat people; as a fat acceptance advocate I immediately focused on this as yet another image of fat people being badly treated in the media, that people who are that big are being used as a symbol of what GMOs and fast food do to people is hateful, misleading and wrong. As a scientist, she took the image very differently, focusing on what she knew about Monsanto and their despicable practises.

When I was taking English in university I was introduced to the post-modernist way of thinking and reading; if I read a text and see something in there, it's there (and I can prove it in a 1500 word essay!). What characters wear (red shirt vs. white shirt) for example, says something about their motivations during a scene, or maybe if it's a theme, their personality. What seems obvious to me may not be to you because of our different upbringings, associations, experiences, etc. For me, the Monsanto picture is *obviously* a jab at fat people as well as the company. That she didn't immediately agree with me or understand that put me on the defensive, and things went downhill from there. I failed to keep an open mind. I failed to consider how she might be seeing things (other than to assininely tell her to check her privilege. *facepalm*). Her perspective and experiences and mine are very different so it led to very different takes on the image. She agrees that the use of a fat person in the picture is wrong, but that's not the most important part of the image to her. Neither of us is WRONG mind you, just coming at something from very different places.

Sometimes, with fat acceptance or feminism or anti-globalization or occupy or any of the dozens of things I care deeply about, I need that reminder; the world is not made up of people who think like me and agree with me, and just because they DON'T doesn't make them an adversary, not until they actually show it. Jumping all over someone for having a different take on something doesn't help to have a conversation. Then again, the positions that I hold on many things are pretty rigid for a reason, and if someone *doesn't* agree with me, it's probably because of unexamined privilege and/or sheer ignorance and/or bigotry. You're antichoice? Homophobic? Misogynist? Racist? Violent? A fat hater? I'll tell you right where to go and how fast you can get there. People who hold those views don't want a conversation and I wont validate their opinions with giving them one. They're entitled to their own opinions, but not their own facts (to paraphrase D.P. Moynihan). On the other hand, someone simply saying "I don't see that the way you see that" is not one of those people, and deserves better than an ill-thought out and snarky reply on Facebook. So my journey into maturity continues!

Will You Be The Lucky One Wearing IGIGI This Valentine’s Day?

2012-02-06T16:01:16Z

Hey Curvy Chicks!

What a whirlwind of a giveaway we have had this weekend! It was amazing seeing such a great turnout of entries in our short period of entry time, but really who can blame you all, the prize is the dress of your choice from IGIGI after all! Thank you all so much for entering through comments, facebook, twitter and by joining my mailing list, you all rock! Ok lets cut to the chase and get the winner’s dress in her hot little hands ASAP!

The winner of the Be My Valentine Giveaway from Stileto Siren and IGIGI is (Drumroll please…..)

Karen Smith

Congratulations Karen! So glad you will be wearing the dress of your dreams this Valentine’s Day! I will be in contact via the email you provided shortly and will set you up to get your dress selection, sizing and shipping info for IGIGI. You are going to look fabulous curvy girl!

Thanks again to all of those who entered, and another huge THANK YOU to my wonderful friends at IGIGI for sponsoring this giveaway!

If you didn’t win this time keep your eyes out for our next giveaway coming soon, it could be your chance to win!

xoxo

Stiletto

The All-New Fat Hate Bingo 3

2012-02-06T21:15:00Z

The All-New Fat Hate Bingo 3 is finally here!

So, back in 2007 in the early days of the "fat-o-sphere", fat bloggers were weathering seemingly endless fat shaming attacks from trolls and concern trolls alike. During a discussion at Shakesville, I made a subtle reference to the history in social justice movements of using "Bingo" cards to diffuse commonly repeated attacks. Kate Harding suggested actually making a Bingo card and 90 minutes later, there it was. Fat Hate Bingo 2 followed the next day and both remain among the most popular posts at Red No. 3. Each card catalogs many of the "brilliant" put-downs fat activists face online and in our lives when we try to advocate for the horribly radical concept that maybe its not the end of the world that we're fat.

Honestly, its something a lot of fat activists try to avoid because its emotionally draining to have to hear the same thing over and over and over again, always repeated by people who are enamored with their brilliance and courage to finally say this to a fat person. I usually avoid it, too, but last fall when I started doing the Maggie sequels, I came upon a whole host of new attacks that I'd see quickly repeated endlessly by all sorts of people who don't realize they are reading from a script. Thus, Fat Hate Bingo 3 was born.

I know fat people aren't supposed to have friends, but if you did have 2 friends, now all three of you can play against each other the next time the concept of fat shaming is introduced to a not so receptive audience. Actually, since we now have 75 Fat Hate Bingo squares, just as many as used in actual bingo, maybe we can all get in the act!

[Image Description: Header Text: “red3.blogspot.com presents Fat Hate BINGO 3. We really have heard it all before.” Below is a 5x5 Bingo Card with squares in alternating red and gray colors with text in each square.

Column 1: My tax dollars are paying for your fat lifestyle. | Shaming of Dieters is the real problem. | If you don’t like being bullied, just lose weight. | If that’s true, why are you so fat? | Fat people threaten our national security!

Column 2: You can’t control fat bigotry, but you can control your weight. | Diabetes! Hypertension! Heart Disease! | You are ugly. Do something about your health. | Fat acceptance shouldn’t mean accepting an unhealthy weight. | Somebody needs to start shaming fat people.

Column 3: Take responsibility for what you put in your mouth. | You can’t all have thyroid problems. | Its not a diet… | Thin privilege doesn’t exist because you can choose to be thin. | People shouldn’t have to look at you.

Column 4: What’s next? Cancer pride? | I can’t condone your self-destructive behavior. | Instead of promoting obesity, use your energy to lose weight. | Fat people are empirically unattractive. | We are becoming an obese nation!

Column 5: BMI may be flawed, but we have to do something. | Its not hate if you really are unhealthy and disgusting. | Your fat activism is killing people! | Since when is laziness like gender or race? | You can’t argue with facts.]

I Miss Fat Jonah Hill (And Other Mostly Pointless Celebrity Observations, In No Particular Order)

2012-02-06T12:07:51Z

Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.

OBSERVATION 1: I miss fat Jonah Hill.

I miss fat Jonah Hill (image courtesy of wikipedia)

I know it’s not cool to say it, and believe me, I believe in a person’s right to do what they will with their bodies, but I miss fat Jonah Hill.

I think it’s because I like seeing “one of us” in the movies. His quirky humor was the only thing I enjoyed about Funny People. I liked him as genius sabermetrics guy opposite Brad Pitt in Moneyball. I could imagine a little, fat 10 year old who always gets picked last in gym class seeing him in a movie and saying, “Even if I don’t make the team, at least I can be the smart guy in the back office who gets to actually pick the team.”

Now he just looks like a thin guy who’s in movies, and it bums me out.

OBSERVATION 2: I won’t die if I see Melissa McCarthy‘s arms.

Melissa McCarthy (image courtesy of CNN)

I love Melissa McCarthy. And apparently, she sometimes wears a 3/4 sleeve. But every time I see her at some awards thing, she has super long sleeves on.

Seriously, I can only imagine the pressure and scrutiny she’s under. I’m sure her size comes up in every stupid, useless interview for magazines that I refuse to read. But I’m just dying for her to pull a Gabby Sidibe and show some big fat arms!

OBSERVATION 3: All I want is to live in a world where Octavia Spencer doesn’t feel the need to “triple spanx.”

Octavia Spencer (image courtesy of Us Magazine)

Speaking of award-winning actresses constantly being asked inane questions about weight, Octavia Spencer is sick of it. According to Jezebel, she posted about this on facebook, saying, “I am NOT WORRYING ABOUT MY WEIGHT! I AM NOT TRYING TO CONFORM TO an unrealistic model of beauty.” Amen!

But she also told Ellen, “I triple-Spank. Which is not good. Spanx really, really work, but you don’t need to overdo it.” This woman is a freaking award winning freaking actress. Can’t she be allowed to enjoy the moment without impinging on vital organs? I’m all for an end to the havoc of chub rub, but I’m sick of this Spanx crap.

OBSERVATION 4: Paula Deen didn’t get diabetes from cooking with fat.

Paula Deen (image courtesy of The Food Network)

Just read this, guys. Seriously.

OBSERVATION 5: Sometimes I miss the good ole days when Jennifer Hudson and Mariah Carey sang stuff, instead of just hawking weight loss b.s.

Remember stuff like this?

Now I only see her in this (real and awful) Weight Watchers ad:

I realize that all of these celebrities have incredible pressure put on them about their bodies. Do a google search for any of these people and add the word fat and you will see page after page of horrible commentary. That’s why it’s so important for each one of us to stand up to fat oppression.

In the meantime, at least we have Gabby Sidibe and Adele.

Some food for thought from Adele and Gabby (Image of Adele with quote from definatalie.tumblr.com, image of Gabby Sidibe from NBC, quote from Harper's Bazaar)

I think I need to go back on my media diet.

But seriously, what do you think? Let’s chat over on my facebook page.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to http://www.bodylovewellness.com/free to get your free download — Golda’s Top Ten Tips For Divine Dining! And, please join her and twenty of the biggest names in HAES(R) and Fat Acceptance at the Body Love Revolutionaries Telesummit.

I Miss Fat Jonah Hill (And Other Mostly Pointless Celebrity Observations, In No Particular Order) originally appeared on Body Love Wellness on February 6, 2012.

We Have A Winner!

2012-02-06T17:05:00Z

Last Monday I hosted a small contest to help repurpose a sign. I recieved quite a few interesting and positive entries and have chosen KellyK as the winner! Congrats, Kelly!

"KellyK January 31, 2012 wrote:

You could paint it with "Eat food. Stufff you like. As much as you want." And if there are broken cookies on there, they can stay. You could also just take the text off and cover the heart with cookies."

This very specific HAES message wont just be positive for ME puttering around the kitchen, but for everyone who comes through the space.

In other non-FA/HAES related news, there are flowers in the garden! I was coming home this morning from walking Gabe to school and I just happened to see out of the corner of my eye some green where there shouldn't have been any, hiding under some maple leaves. SO EXCITING! I didn't think anything would grow in that sandy rock pit but it looks like some crocuses and hyacinths are coming up! Now I want to move all the leaves that I put down on the other beds and see if there's anything else, but I don't think so. I went through pretty thoroughly in the summer weeding and didn't find any bulbs or roots, just sand in those ones. Next weekend I'm hoping to start my seeds indoors and do a lot of container gardening here on the patio (that way the deer and rabbits can't munch anything), but I need supplies first, like seed trays. Can you tell I love to play in the dirt and grow beautiful, delicious food?

Cucumber vine from my garden back in the Sault in 2010.

Homosexual Death Drive: Fat Queer Old Lady Punks

2012-02-06T17:02:00Z

I'm in a band and, even though this is a little self-referential, I want to write about it, so I will.

My band is called Homosexual Death Drive and it consists of me, my girlfriend Kay Hyatt, and a couple of occasional collaborators. Although we have both performed in bands before, neither Kay nor I would think of ourselves as musicians; we make songs with the barest minimum of skill, often just singing, or making a song using instruments, pedals and home-made gadgets that are easy to play. We have a small repertoire, did our first performance in December 2010, and hope to release a 7-inch EP on vinyl some time this year. We've played a handful of shows and no one has booed us off yet. Soon there will be some videos and digital downloads. We don't have a website, just a little corner of Facebook for now.

Corinna Tomrley painted this picture of Homosexual Death Drive entitled 'Showbiz'.

I don't know about Kay but I think of Homosexual Death Drive as part of a queercore tradition in punk. Our name comes from a branch of queer theory that's preoccupied with anti-social sensibilities and is somewhat nihilistic – just like us! Our songs, mostly written by me, inhabit fairly traditional punk turf: revolution, riots, burning things down, but we also sing tenderly about being alone, regret, survival. I use Homosexual Death Drive as a place where I can express unspeakable things. We try and make our performances energetic and memorable, this sounds high-minded but I try to pass on the same feelings of freedom and openness that I've felt when seeing and being inspired by other people performing. It doesn't always work, performing can often feel quite humiliating but I still feel compelled to do it because there's something good about falling on your arse in public, being okay with being the buffoon, letting people take from that what they will.

Since I was a teenager punk has been this amazing force in my life. Punk means many things to different people but for me it has to do with queerness, belligerence, impertinence, politics, rawness, immediacy, anti-authoritarianism. These are great sensibilities for girls and women to draw on. But punk can be very conformist. When I was a girl I thought punks were always thin, I never saw a fat punk anywhere, I still struggle to name many, let alone fat queer punks beyond Nomy or Beth, certainly no one like me then or now. Being a real punk was the main thing that motivated me to want to be thin. Aged 15, 16, 17 I wanted to look like Iggy Pop on the cover of Raw Power, I thought that's how it would have to be if I wanted to be recognised as a punk (this would also have meant being a man and being a drooling drug addict). I never got thin, and always looked chubby and wholesome, even when I behaved otherwise.

With Homosexual Death Drive I feel like I'm carrying on the lifetime's work of reclaiming punk for myself. Fat used to be the thing that I thought was incompatible with being punk, but it turns out that it's central, it's an asset. Often people will never have met anyone like us, they have no idea about fat activism, they see us and perhaps expect us to be comic, or fulfil a stereotype. Then we turn out to be something else, something they never expected from a pair of fat old dykes. Our bodies are a rare spectacle of public fatness unmediated by hatred, fear or prurience. We invite people to look and listen and relate. The people we play to seem hungry for people like us, they are desperate for evidence, that until now has always been slightly out of reach, that disproves the inevitability of fatphobia. It feels good to be able to deliver this in some way.

The band is still new and tentative and I don't know how it will develop. I'm happy with the way it's going and the way we mix fat, queer and punk together. That's all I'm going to say for now.

Homosexual Death Drive are playing R I O T S N O T D I E T S #5 along with Halo Halo, Bellies, and Town Bike, plus a screening of But I'm A Cheerleader from 6pm onwards, Saturday, 11 February 2012 at West Hill Hall, Compton Ave, Brighton, United Kingdom. It costs £6. Please come.

http://tinyurl.com/homodeathdrive

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 5)

2012-02-06T13:00:00Z

This is part 5 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

In this last post on this, I want to address the final element of the question: whether the participation of men is encouraged,

Wilfork is an Athlete, Hunter is a Hack

2012-02-06T10:04:23Z

When I saw the name of Paul Hunter’s article my blood immediately started to boil “Are very hefty NFLers like Vince Wilfork real athletes?” This is right up there with “Can you be fit and fat?” as questions to which the answer is “Yes. Spend 10 minutes researching on Google, and stop asking”.

First let’s tease out the four different things that this article seems to think are interchangeable. Stereotypical beauty, weight, athleticism, and health. These are four separate concepts and people can be any combination of the four including all of them or none of them.

Let’s start with stereotypical beauty. We shouldn’t even have to mention this since the article is supposed to be about being an athlete but when Hunter chooses to quote a TSN football analyst saying “From the outside, not being derogatory, this guy looks like a fat pig” then we have to talk about it. One wonders what Chris Schultz would have said if he WAS being derogatory? In this article an elite athlete who keeps up a training tempo that most people couldn’t possibly match is also called “he poster boy for those who look like butter sculptures”. Why do these reporters persist with the belief that everyone in the world need to fit their stereotype of beauty? Vince isn’t asking Paul Hunter a date, he’s an elite athlete who is at the top of his game. I counted 12 fat jokes in this article. Try harder Paul. Stop talking about his looks – it’s disrespectful and has nothing to do with anything.

Weight. This is a big flaming sack of who cares. The article comes very close to accusing him of lying about his weight. Let’s keep our eye on the ball here people – Vince can run the 40 in just over 5 seconds. Go ahead and try to match that time, I’ll wait. Most people will not make it. Athletes come in all sizes, this is the size that Vince comes in. Back off.

Health. The article does say that he does not have diabetes. Other than that we don’t know anything about his health. There is some talk about how when these guys stop playing they become much less active but eat the same amount of food and have health problems. That seems to speak to the need for some optional transitional coaching to help these guys figure out life after football, but it really doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not he is an athlete. There are athletes of all sizes and all abilities with all kinds of health issues.

Athleticism: Let’s get this into perspective. He can run a 5 second 50, he is one of the .2% of high school football players who ever make the NFL, and he is one of the even smaller group whose team made the damn Super Bowl. What else do you want from this guy? Happily amidst all the fat jokes are quotes from people who actually know what they are doing who say that he and other athletes his size are unequivocally athletes. Hey, look over there, it’s a big flaming sack of Duh!

Throughout the article various “experts” call athleticism in people this size “puzzl[ing], absolutely stunning, shocking, really amazing, inspirational in some ways.” These are examples of weight bias. These things are only shocking because people have incorrect preconceived notions of what people of size can do. If you’re struggling with this concept, try to imagine the feedback to an article that said “in spite of being women, they were really good at math. It was shocking, puzzling, and inspirational in some ways.”

This is another example of the bullshit idea that the only “correct” outcome of exercise is thinness, when in fact many studies show that exercise mitigates most of the health issues correlated with being fat, but is not likely to make us thinner.

Let’s take a minute to examine this lose/lose scenario: If we are fat they make fat jokes about us and tell us to exercise. If we exercise and become successful professional athletes but fail to become thin, then we have to deal with articles that ask if fat people can be called athletes and a barrage of fat jokes, (instead of what should happen which is an apology and respect from people who are seriously rethinking their stereotypes). Did anybody else see the movie “War Games”? The only way to win is not to play.

But that doesn’t mean don’t move your body if that’s what you want to do, or give up on being an athlete. It just means to remember that Paul Hunter and writers like him are hacks who go for the cheap fat joke, and those who choose to maintain weight biases are bigots and they can do that but we don’t have to buy into it. We’ve already discussed the ridiculousness of the idea of a dancer’s body or a swimmer’s build, this is an extension of that. If you want to be healthier, most studies say about 30 minutes of moderate exercise (which you can absolutely break up throughout the day) about 5 days a week will do it. If you want to take it farther and train for a sport, let me suggest that you ignore idiots and jerks, focus on your training and athleticism, and let your body size sort itself out.

Billboard updates: It’s Manic Monday! We only need 280 more people to donate (in any amount) in order to get our $5,000 More of Me to Love Match. That gets us our big billboard in a high traffic area, small billboards in downtown Atlanta, and plexi-glass covered back lit signs at bus stops so that as many kids as possible can see them and know that they are respected and valued.

Please consider giving 1 minute of your time to donate 1 dollar to stand up for these kids, a donation in any amount brings us closer to our goal of 1,000 individual donors which gets us our $5,000 MOMTL Matching donation.

DONATE A Solidarity Dollar NOW!

If your donation is more than $5.00 it is also greatly appreciated and you’ll donate through our GoFundMe site. Click Here!

Fat Activism in New Zealand on 20/20

2012-02-06T08:56:35Z

Next Thursday (16 February, 2012) TV2 in New Zealand will be airing an episode of 20/20 that explores the world of fat activism in New Zealand. And yours truly will be a big, fat, part of the story.

If memory serves I approached Louisa, the producer, about doing the show. I wanted a program like 20/20 or Sunday to introduce New Zealand to the growing social movement that is fat liberation. I provided a list of names of both Fat Studies scholars and fat activists around the country, and met with the producer to chat about what kind of story it could be. My intention was to play the role of the academic: commenting on the rise of fat activism and sitting comfortably to the side of the story as an “expert”. The producer, however, saw me as a bigger part of the story. I struggled with the decision, because being in the spotlight is not a place I want to be. I like to organise things – produce things – coordinate things – I am really, really, good, at pulling things together and running things from behind the scenes. I remember a time when I was younger when I wanted that spotlight focused on me. Not sure when that changed, but the idea of being a major part of a story on 20/20 was not my idea of good time. As we emailed back and forth it became clear that if I wasn’t willing to play a key role, there probably wouldn’t be a story at all.

This is often the price for being involved in a small movement like fat liberation. There are only a handful of people in New Zealand who would identify as fat activists. And an even smaller number who are willing to put themselves out there in the public with such an identity. But if we want our message to reach more people – that fat people deserve the same rights and dignity as non-fat people – we need publicity. And that means making ourselves the public face of a political movement that is also very personal. Putting yourself out there as a visible fat activist has both benefits (increasing my reputation as a Fat Studies researcher is good for my career, and I love the emails I receive from others who find their own courage and strength from seeing others standing proud) and costs (being a proud fat activist paints a target for both hate and concern trolls, indeed. And on such a large surface at that.)

I agreed, and the 20/20 shot a variety of footage across three days. First up was the classic 20/20 interview with me against a backdrop. I expected the first question to be something along the lines of, ‘What is fat activism?’ – so I was quite surprised when the first question was about the necklace I was wearing (one of my many ‘Fat’ necklaces from Fancy Lady Industries). I was so surprised, in fact, that instead of identifying it as something from Fancy Lady Industries, I panicked as I was unsure if Definatalie is pronounced, ‘Definitely’ or ‘Defi Natalie’ and I am pretty sure I went with the second one. (Apologies, Natalie!) I fumbled my responses and forgot all of the succinct one-liners I regularly use when I do interviews. The reporter, Hannah Ockelford, asked me questions insightful questions about fat activism and the work that I do. She also about what I eat and whether I exercise. *sigh* When we spoke about it afterwards, she explained that many people watching will be asking those questions and it is better for her to as well. I responded by asking whether she asked those same questions of everyone she interviews about weight, obesity, or health.

We shot at my office: me talking about tools for fat activism and living life as fat person. We shot walking through the Square: me talking about fat phobia. We shot at the Access Manawatu studio: me recording my weekly radio show, Friend of Marilyn (HUGE shout out to Kath Read for being a last minute guest for the taping!). We shot me preparing food for a dinner with friends, and then part of the dinner itself (thanks friends!) They also convinced me to do an impromptu fatshion show, which I really hope meets the cutting room floor.

One of the larger parts of the filming involved me giving my presentation on the obesity myths, ‘Big fat facts: What you don’t know about what isn’t killing you’, to a group of women they recruited. Most of these women are actively involved in weight loss, and I spoke with the producer about my concerns. Do I, as a professional, have an ethics of care consideration to make? If part of my presentation is educating on the futility of weight loss, and these women are committed to losing weight, what ethical responsibilities arise? (I’ll write more about this later) In the end, we went ahead with the presentation, and, unsurprisingly, the women in the group who had recently lost weight, and were working to lose more, were happy to dismiss my science as wrong. Committed to the fantasy of being thin, the women in attendance were willing to consider some of the other myths, but not interested in acknowledging the failure rate of diets (even when you call them lifestyle changes).

The last thing we shot was a Yay! Scale demonstration on Queen Street in Auckland. This was my first time doing this kind of activism, and it was intimidating. But it was a great experience, and I am sure the footage we shot was some of the best of the bunch. From the 8yr old boy who shared that he had to be weighed weekly at school before he was allowed to play rugby, to the women who stepped on the scale and watched in delight as they were declared by the scale to be ‘Sexy’, ‘Cute’, ‘Hot’ and ‘Beautiful’, it was all very meaningful to me.

Will the story be meaningful to those who choose to watch? Now that the filming is over, I can obsess over my fear and excitement regarding the show and the way it will be received by the New Zealand public. What I would like to do is watch it before anyone else. I like to process my feelings before I have to deal with how other people feel. But seeing the episode early is not an option.

My back-up scenario is to watch it in private, and then hide out for a few days. But my friends want to watch it with me. So now I’m thinking I may just jump off the cliff without a parachute: I’ll hold a viewing party. Invite everyone I know over and just embrace the embarrassment I know I am going to feel at seeing myself and hearing myself on TV. And the cringing I will engage in as I misspeak (defi-Natalie?!) or when I am less than eloquent. I make mistakes. I am not perfect. And I am working on being okay with that.

Perhaps we’ll play a drinking game? Break out the shot glasses everyone: Every time someone says the word ‘Fat’, take a shot! We’ll all be drunk before the first commercial break!

And then, of course, will be the comments posted and emails sent. Some will be positive, but most will be negative. I say this because we live in a fat phobic world. I say this because people often confuse their hate for concern. I say this because I’ve been doing media about fat liberation for a few years, and I always get more bad feedback than good. This time, I’m more prepared. I’ve dealt with much of it before, and I have a larger connection with the Fat-o-sphere, so I do not have to process this alone. I have also printed out ‘Fat Hate Bingo’ cards and plan to see how long it takes me to get a Bingo. Will I reach a Bingo in the first day? The first five emails? Maybe I’ll share the game on Tumblr, and you can join in the fun. Anyone want to play with me? Send me an email, and I’ll send you a card! Friendofmarilyn@aol.com

Doing this story with 20/20 has been a learning experience for me, both as a fat activist and as an individual who consumes a great deal of media. The structured nature of the shoot, including the staged shots and different angles, added depth to my understanding of how a show, like 20/20, gets put together. I’m worried about the end product; I’ll not try to deny that. The 20/20 team have been trying to put my worries to ease for months, assuring me that they want to simply share the message of fat activism with the viewing public – promising that they are not trying to make me look foolish. But what else would they say as we are working together? ‘Yes, we want to make you look like an ass. A big fat ass.’ Of course not. So I put my faith into them, and I hope that I have represented myself, and the fat liberation movement, well. Hopefully I can post the clip on YouTube and you can watch it for yourself.

Feel free to let me know what you think.

Pearlsong Press authors STAND for Kids & against weight bigotry

2012-02-06T08:06:22Z

Pearlsong Press supports the fabulous STAND project orchestrated by body liberation activist Marilyn Wann, standing for all kids in comparison to Georgia's fat-kid-shaming Strong4Life anti-"childhood obesity" campaign. Participating authors include Pat Ballard, Lynne Murray, Ellen Frankel, Lauri J Owen, Pattie...

Academia, Obesity Epi-Panic, and the Emperor’s New Clothes

2012-02-06T06:15:36Z

A quick hit today with apologies to everyone since I have been completely overcome by work lately and unable to dedicate time to writing. I hope to have everything sorted soon so that I can continue the series on food and food processing. In the meantime, I want to talk about articles in the press, and commenters who bring joy by pointing out the naked emperors in our midst.

It is both wonderful and terrible to have the Newspaper of Record for these United States as one’s hometown paper. On the one hand, there is some VERY fine reporting in the paper. On the other hand, one has to contend with the Fat-Bash Olympics on a daily basis. I have been really fed up lately with the patronizing tone of some of the writers who address topics of health. It really has been worse than usual. And yet, a new crop of commenters seem less and less willing to remain silent, so they are pointing out the birthday-suited emperors running around in academic head-dress justifying their studies by bashing fat and fat people.

Most of the time, unfortunately, I have to say that the worst of the fat bashing contenders play on the Commenters team, not the Journalists team, in the contests. What I have been seeing more of, however is, a commenter such as the one (whose comment I will talk about today) who will distinguish him or herself by calling shenanigans on one or more aspects of an article, and showing very clearly and with few words the bias which underlies it.

One such article appeared last Tuesday in the Times. You can see the article here. It was written by Jane Brody, and it references primarily the work of Dr. Richard J. Jackson, professor and chairman of environmental health sciences at the UCLA. He works in the field of analyzing how the built environment (our cities, suburbs… our living environment in short) affect health. Well, so far so good. In these pages we have often commented upon this. What is unfortunate, however, is that this Dr. Jackson seems compelled to repeat the same shibboleths of the fat-hating academic tribes to justify his pursuits. Here is an example (emphasis supplied):

“unless changes are made soon in the way many of our neighborhoods are constructed, people in the current generation (born since 1980) will be the first in America to live shorter lives than their parents do.
…
“People who walk more weigh less and live longer,” Dr. Jackson said. “People who are fit live longer. People who have friends and remain socially active live longer. We don’t need to prove all of this,” despite the plethora of research reports demonstrating the ill effects of current community structures.”

If one were to remove the highlighted bits (please read the full article for the context), the good work that public health professionals concerned with our built environment would still be emphasized appropriately. The justification of creating environments where movement is possible, encouraged and supported would be maintained.

Why, oh why, does weight have to play a part? Are these academics concerned that their work will be invalidated if obesity is not highlighted as “the problem”? SHOULD they be concerned that their funding will be reduced if it is NOT thus highlighted? I really want to know. Perhaps if one of you academics is reading this you can enlighten us in the comments to this post.

The Comments Section for these articles is where we can feel the zeitgeist most clearly. These were actually (on balance) not bad in the case of this article. That is actually a welcome change. One comment, stood out for aiming a strong beam of light right at the implicit fallacies. The link I provided shows the comment and the responses to it (a fine recent refinement to the commenting process). A gentleman (to judge by the picture provided) writing as Kip Hansen (who I hope keeps commenting on these topics in the future) said:

“…Compare his dreadful predictions with the fact the average lifespan in the US continues to rise, year after year. Americans are healthier and live longer than ever before.

There is always someone who can drag out some 'purpose-chosen' statistics (doesn't that sound nicer than 'cherry-picked' ?) showing how this and that disease is on the rise (usually because we're living longer, and moire [sic] of us suffer the usual diseases and discomforts of older-age)...”

Some people who responded dog-piled on his comments saying that – of course – the increase in diabetes will not show up in death stats for years, and (I am paraphrasing here) that we are all just fat pigs. Yet the gentleman’s comment stands as a very clear counterbalance of common sense to the Obesity Panic-mongering that is de rigeur amongst academics working in public health. Perhaps it is my imagination, but I seem to see a larger number of comments such as Mr. Hansen’s showing up and being recommended by readers several times.

I know a number of regular readers of this blog comment on articles in their papers or on websites. If you do… What have your observations been in terms of the number of pro-HAES comments Have you encountered any great comments that pointed out some fundamental prejudice in an article? Do you have commenters that you consider favorites? What makes you decide to comment or to withhold your thoughts on any given article?

Looking forward to reading your thoughts…

A note to those who have been following the efforts to put up billboards in solidarity with the children of Atlanta who have been subjected to odious and shaming signs depicting fat children: You can follow the progress of the donations on Ragen Chastain’s page. There you will also find links to donate a dollar (or more) in solidarity. The effort exceeded original expectations, and is extremely close to meeting the requirement for a challenge grant from the More of Me to Love folks. Thank you if you have donated, and please donate if you possibly can. Every donation counts!

Wanted: One Three-Day Weekend

2012-02-06T04:01:34Z

It’s been a hell of a week. I mean last week, obviously, since Sunday is widely opined to be the first day of the week, something I’ve never understood because, well, it’s the weekEND. Anyway. It’s been a hell of a post-Christmas, is what I should say. I was out sick from work the week [...]

Responding to Fat Shaming in Georgia

2012-02-05T18:29:51Z

A quick note: Marilyn Wann has created a campaign of size positive “Stand4″ posters in answer to the ads and billboards in Georgia targeting fat children. And fat dancer and blogger Ragen Chastain has followed with a fundraising campaign to pay for billboards in Georgia with a HAES (Health at Every Size) message. Consider participating in one or both of these!
http://marilynwann.tumblr.com
http://www.gofundme.com/dp16w
http://www.supportallkids.com

Call for Interviews by Cinder Ernst

2012-02-05T17:29:00Z

My friend and life coach Cinder Ernst is interviewing folks who have been told they are pre-diabetic. In exchange for spending 20 minutes on the phone with her she's offering a really cool free gift.

Cinder is interested in what it’s like for individuals who are coping with these diagnoses and what challenges they may be having. She is expanding her practice to serve people dealing with diabetes and wants to learn more so she can better meet those needs.

Cinder has been a well-known fat friendly fitness trainer for many many years. I have known her since 2004 when we filmed some of her classes! In the past month or two she has been coaching me. I enjoy talking to her and always find our conversations fun and useful.

You can message Cinder on FaceBook or send her an email coach@cinderernst.com Tell her Pattie sent you.

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 4)

2012-02-05T13:15:00Z

This is part 4 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.

Part 2
Part 3

In this post, I'm addressing the element of the question that is how a thin person can respectfully lend their support to the movement

Online Dating (While Fat)

2012-02-05T11:02:13Z

For some reason, 2012 has been a year where online dating is being mentioned in both my on- and offline worlds with increasing frequency. Pros, cons and (missed) opportunities seem to abound – and everyone who’s taken a crack at it seems to have a mixed bag of experiences under their belt, which I guess can be said of any kind of dating.

I’ll admit, online dating holds a certain appeal for me. I’m a bit of a social recluse at the best of times and, while I might be a gay guy, I’m not someone who’s into the “gay scene,”* which means that my opportunities for in-person interaction with other queer guys is limited, to say the least. So, being able to connect with other gay guys across the span of the internet, whether it be for a chat or the possibility of something more, isn’t something that I’m going to turn my nose up at.

It’s worked out okay for me in the past, too. Putting aside the fact that I’m currently single and it therefore hasn’t worked out too well for me, I can’t say that internet dating has been a complete waste of time. And as much as I have my own issues with how gay guys present themselves and interact with each other online (which is a whole series of posts in its own right, probably), I still currently check OKCupid and will check into at least a couple of gay male apps on my iPhone every now and then.

In other words, it is a thing that I do.

Of course, online dating is a particular kind of experience for people who aren’t necessarily of the (white, thin, straight) “norm.” There are certain decisions that need to be made about ‘outing’ yourself, for example as being queer, a person of colour, in an open relationship, a parent, etc. In some cases, you can hide (or choose not to divulge) certain things about yourself, for whatever reason. In other cases, that doesn’t really work.

Being fat is one of those things that can raise questions about the need for disclosure. It can be as simple as deciding whether or not to use the Myspace Angle (it’s an Urban Dictionary link, so click at your own risk) in your photos; it can be a matter of clicking the “curvy” (or equivilent) option for body type options on sites that offer that option; or it can even be a matter of saying straight up in your profile that you’re fat.

There’s also the option of signing up to sites that are specifically catered to setting up fat people with each other and their admirers. I tend to think that this is easier for women (and particularly women who are looking for men), but I also imagine that concerns about being the object of someone else’s fetish cross the minds of everyone** when considering these sites, regardless of their gender or sexual identity.

SO! I’m curious. How do YOU negotiate the world of online dating as a fat person?

* Yet for some reason every six months or so I’ll have an urge to go visit Oxford Street, because the idea of the place seems so much more fun than the reality generally is. What is up with that?!

** Unless you’re into that, in which case, cool!

I Stand With Fat Children & A Reminder

2012-02-04T16:46:00Z

So this is pretty great:

I chose to say what's on there because I got a lot of 'good natured' ribbing as a teen and young girl about being busty, developing early, being pudgy, etc. My mom told me to 'suck it in' during family photos (and I still find myself doing it to this day). I'm grown up now and can defend myself if necessary but kids? Kids all over the place need unconditional love. UNCONDITIONAL. That really means something; love your kid no matter what, no matter if they're smart, stupid, fat, thin, not conventionally pretty or handsome, or if they're stunning. Your kid doesn't exist on this earth to please you and make you look good. YOU exist to make sure they become a good person. That's it. They can't do that if you shame them, if you set them up for a lifetime of self-doubt and hate, and punishing their body, and maybe even hurting themselves in the long term. Please, stand up for your kids, for your neighbour's kids, for the kids in your kid's classes, for the kids you see walking through your neighbourhood-they all deserve to be loved just as they are.

A reminder; Monday's contest to find a new saying for my sign closes Sunday night at midnight PST with the winner announced in Monday's post. The winner will recieve a pair of handmade, sterling silver and semi-precious stone earrings courtesy of yours truly! Thanks to everyone who's entered so far. Have a wonderful weekend!

Fatties fat back

2012-02-04T16:41:21Z

The magnificent dancer Ragen Chastain is raising money for a billboard in Atlanta Georgia (Preferably near CHOA). The original goal was 10k which was passed, now it is up to 15K and it's getting there.

More of me to love has pledged 5k if Ragen can get 5k (done) and 1000 donors. (More than halfway there) Please donate. You can go as low as $1 or as high as you want. See Ragen's blog post for more info.

Walkby Shouting

2012-02-04T16:32:35Z

I was walking in the park one day late last year (I walk every work day during my lunch break), and a stranger who was walking the other way asked me how much weight I had lost. I told him “I’m not trying to lose weight, and that’s not a proper question to ask people in the park.” He responded, “You look great; I remember when I first saw you.”

He was trying to be nice, I guess, but the question hit me the wrong way. As a fat man, I don’t get much criticism about my weight, and obviously, I didn’t get criticism this time either, other than the implied criticism of a past me. Still, my weight is my business, the same as with anyone else. Even before I had size acceptance, I wouldn’t initiate a conversation with a stranger by asking about his/her weight, even in the course of making a compliment.

He didn’t seem to grasp my objection, so I didn’t respond any further. I’m happy with how I responded, but it probably didn’t do any good. He may not even have realized why I objected. To understand an observed event, we (adults, anyway) have to plug it into a known framework, and I don’t think he had a framework for what I said.

That’s why it is so important to proclaim and explain size acceptance in all media we can. Even if we don’t change anyone’s mind, we’re at least letting people know that there are such things as body self-acceptance, fat pride, and HAES. Then at least strangers will understand why we object to weight-loss-based compliments, even if they don’t agree.

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 3)

2012-02-04T13:15:00Z

This is part 3 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.

Part 2 was posted yesterday.

In Part 2, I addressed whether there is specific hostility towards thin people in FA. In this post, I want to address

Exercise and Instant Gratification

2012-02-04T09:42:26Z

I had a weird day. Sometime around 4am the adrenaline rush of the last 2 days wore off and I became aware that I had fallen asleep at my computer. I went to bed and, I thought, very carefully set my alarm to get up at 9am so I could make a 10 o’clock meeting. You know that feeling when you wake up and realize that you are way too rested for how much sleep you were supposed to get? That was me. I look at the clock, it’s 10:14. Alarm was set for 9pm. Damn.

On the other hand my day has been really awesome. You all kicked the fundraising campaign for Georgia kids in the ass. We raised over $12,000 on our first day and at this moment we’re only 356 individual donors away from unlocking the More of Me to Love Match grant of $5,000. In addition to a big billboard we’re going to be able to do small billboards in downtown Atlanta as well as backlit, plexiglass covered bus shelter posters that we’ve heard from people in Atlanta are the most hurtful. Plus we’ve got a major national news show and BBC news making inquiries already and we got a write up in SF Weekly. (If you want to get involved you can donate a Solidarity Dollar here!) We’re going to positively affect a lot of people, including a lot of kids, with this and I’m so proud to be a part of this community right now.

So I’m having this weird day and I kept thinking of reasons to postpone working out or not to work out. Now, there’s nothing wrong with skipping a workout, but I also had this feeling like I wanted to go. I had skipped yesterday to coordinate the campaign and so I really thought that my body might like to get out and move around today. So at 1am I got dressed and headed to the gym.

I did a light workout and my body did feel good, and I felt happy that I had gone. It started me thinking about the different ways to measure success of movement. When I was in a diet mentality I would do a workout designed to burn a specific number of calories. It didn’t matter how I felt, I did the entire routine every single day, sometimes more. Then once a week, always at the exact same time, I got on a scale to see if my exercise had “worked”. If the number was right, I could be happy for a minute but it was short-lived since the cycle started all over again for the next week. If the number wasn’t what I hoped for, then that meant a week of feeling bad, guilty, and spending the next week punishing myself.

Dieters are warned not to expect “results” too soon. I remember seeing a poster at the gym that said “If the gym was meant to make you feel better right away, it would be called a bar”. I guess it was supposed to be motivational, but I wonder – why do you have to feel bad about yourself to start out with? One of the best things about my Health at Every Size (r) practice is that I get to like myself whether or not I work out. I move because I feel better when I move but I like myself on the way into the gym, I workout based on my dance goals but also based on how my body feels on any given day. I celebrate my physical accomplishments, but I also celebrate the fact that I worked out. There’s no scale to consult, I get to claim victory immediately.

One of the things that I love about HAES is that you get to have success early and often and I think that success breeds success. I used to have the experience of not getting the number I wanted to the scale and thinking “Why do I even bother? If this is how it’s going to work I’m just going to quit!”. Now I move my body and I say “I moved my body, yay me!” and then I do my instant gratification butt-shaking happy dance.

Los Angeles, CA. Photo by Weegee, c. 1948-1950.

2012-02-04T04:38:00Z

Los Angeles, CA. Photo by Weegee, c. 1948-1950.

And Komen Came to Her Senses!

2012-02-03T19:09:36Z

For those not in the know, the Susan G. Komen charity has decided to resume funding breast cancer screenings at …

BODYSLAM! Audio

2011-02-20T08:06:17Z

BODYSLAM! Audio – videos will be posted soon! Thanks again to all of our presenters as follows.

Amanda Levitt – Intro

Kathy Barron - Fat Poets Speak: Voices of the Fat Poets’ Society

Rae M. – Two things that never would have happened had I been fatter

Brittney Pauling – Beauty Standards

Sicily Amaris McRaven – Hymen of Steel

Amanda Levitt – I’m not Fluffy I’m Fat

Wednesday Lee Friday – an excerpt from A Stabbing for Sadie

Nadia Zahran – Disgraced Replaced

A special thanks to Alex Heberling who you should totally check out, her artwork is amazing.

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Fatty Affair: FATshion!

2012-02-03T18:30:39Z

The clothing swap part of Fatty Affair seemed to be the most popular portion for sure. And while I only snagged a couple of tops towards the end of the main part of the swap, I’ve already worn one and Love it! What was truly fun for me was getting to see what people picked up, tried on and strutted around in! Many were quite pleased to just change on the spot and wear their new garb the rest of the day. That is so cool!

We also had a catwalk/fatshion show where people were asked to get their strut on if they were feeling good in what they were wearing, even if it wasn’t from the swap (the song of choice of course being “Super Model” by RuPaul). At first we had sign up sheets, but only one person signed up. So I said fuck it and started just recruiting people! Ha-ha! This did seem to work as soon there was a line on either side of the stage area. I didn’t realize that Jery would be the first or that he would even be participating, other than being the emcee, but gurl! He knew how to kick it off:

I went next and decided to twirl before bustin’ out my swagger down the catwalk:

Nicole of AWellRoundedVenture.com was, as always, dressed to impress!

Raven was such a good sport since she originally had no intention of participating:

Tigress & Amanda teamed up for an adorable twirl and strut combo!

But I have to say it, nobody embodied the spirit of the day or the swap quite like my friend Lauren!

This is her catwalk outfit (she had just snagged it in the swap):

This is what she showed up to Fatty Affair wearing (posing with her own artwork):

And this is what she ended up wearing the rest of the night after the fatshion show

(posing here with Milo and her companion looking ever so fabulous!):

It was a total blast! We all clapped along to the song and for each model. It felt so good and so empowering!
To live your entire life being told you could never do something because you’re fat? Yeah, fuck all of that!
We can do anything we damn well please! Together, as a community, we can move mountains and make dreams come true! I know this because it is my own experience. To see people really come into their own and become the person they always wanted to be. To shed the bullshit and the guilt and let go of toxic relationships and just live each day for you. To try things and step outside your comfort zone and experience the dazzling pleasures life has to offer if only we did that more! This is what Fatty Affair and the Fat community mean to me and have done for me.

I urge you, if you have even a tiny desire to attend something like this, do it yourself! Plan it! Team up! Coordinate! It’s so fucking worth it and you won’t regret it! Hit me up for tips. I mean, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, but I did it! Ha-ha! You don’t have to live somewhere specific or know “all the right people” because that is not at all what this is about. This was only ever about community for me. It was only ever about exchanging the love! And belly bumps! Ha!

lunch box “back off” note

2012-02-03T15:43:54Z

hello readers,

Over the years, I’ve had posts complaining about folks who feed out children at schools or in daycares do not follow the DOR. (Again, not out of spite, but because they generally really love our kids and want what they think is best for them…) These often get lots of “Yes! That happens to us and I hate it!” kinds or responses.

I have been asked for a note like the one I had in M’s box for years (explained in the post linked to above.) Here is a rough draft. (On my upcoming website, www.thefeedingdoctor.com, I plan to have more resources like this for parents. Coming soon, still in progress, stay tuned! You can check it out and give me feedback if you like…)

This will be a PDF, be about index card sized that parents can fill in and laminate. You can buy clear contact paper pretty cheap at most craft or hardware stored. What do you think?

Dear Friend of (insert your child’s name here,)
Please allow _____ to decide how much ____wants to eat, and in what order, from what I have packed. Even if that means all ____ eats for lunch is her “dessert,” or if she starts with her dessert. I trust that ___________________can rely on her own hunger and fullness to tell her what and how much she needs to eat. Please call me on my cell at _______________________________ if you have any questions or concerns. The nice thing is, this should be less work for you. If ____ needs help opening her containers, I thank you for that help, otherwise,______should be good to go ☺ Thank you for all you do for our children. __________________________________________

What other things would be helpful? Notes to doctors with resources? Meal and snack ideas??? Help me, help you, help me…

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 2)

2012-02-03T13:15:00Z

This is part 2 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.

I use "she" in this post because I am, in part, talking about my own experience in FA and I identify as female. This should not be taken to mean that

Of Stereotypes and Obligations

2012-02-03T08:58:51Z

I was lucky enough to be on one of the fantastic Golda Poretsky’s Body Love Revolutionary Telesummits with Dr. Linda Bacon tonight. It was an honor to work with both of them (Golda has more amazing telesummits coming up, check out the schedule here!)

Unfortunately my phone mysteriously lost signal at the end and I didn’t get to answer a final question from one of the people who had called in. She was a dancer and she asked me something like do I feel that when I dance I have to be better than others to overcome stereotypes.

It’s a really good question, and it took me a long time to gain perspective on this:

When a fat person chooses to do something, and that thing happens to challenge someone else’s stereotypes of people of our size, we are not asking for their approval, we are doing them a favor. We are giving them the opportunity to question their stereotypes. Their choice to believe those stereotypes and prejudices, and whether or not they choose to challenge them, is on them. We can’t control that.

As an artist I can choose that one of my goals is to afford people an opportunity to rethink their stereotypes and prejudices about people my size. I can also decided “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a fatty” and simply do whatever I want to do just, because I want to do it.

One of the dance workshops I teach is “Lyrical Movement for Larger Bodies”. A question that comes up pretty often is “how can larger dancers express frailty when people can’t see us as frail”. There are a lot of ways to do that technically and we go through them in the workshop. But I think the biggest part of it is, at least for me, was the realization that people can only see what they choose to see. There are people who cannot see a fat person as frail, that’s not the fault of the fat dancer, it’s the choice of the audience member. It does become our problem if we are auditioning etc. and addressing that is a whole other blog.

We are not obligated to live up to someone else’s expectations or to challenge their stereotypes.

Extremely Exciting Update!

Our Fundraising campaign for kids in George raised over $12,000 in the first day during our Big Fat Money Bomb. Now we just need to get to 1,000 individual donors and we will unlock our $5,000 More of Me to Love Matching donation. So today is solidarity dollar day! If you are reading this I’m asking you to take 1 minute of your time and donate $1 to show that you support standing up for this kids and against bullying. The GoFundMe page doesn’t accept donations of less than $5 so we’ve set up a pay pal account just for this:

DONATE A Solidarity Dollar NOW!

If your donation is more than $5.00 it is also greatly appreciated and you’ll donate through our GoFundMe site. Click Here!

Every donation, no matter how small, bring us closer to getting 1,000 individual donors and unlocking our $5,000 More of Me to Love Matching Donation. Every little bit TRULY helps!

Stand Up For Fat Kids

2012-02-03T05:26:00Z

Despite being an eternal optimist, sometimes I doubt people. I've been disappointed before by people or groups who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Well, today my faith and hope for humanity was renewed by the Big Fat Money Bomb project. In less than 24 we hit our goal of $10,000 and as of 9:30pm PST Thursday night (time of my blogging) we are still going strong! Tomorrow (Friday) we need to hit 1000 donators (so about 600 more people) in order to get the More of Me To Love match of $5,000 and extend our project of one billboard fighting fat shame and stigma in Georgia to whatever else we can afford; radio and newspaper ads? A second billboard? Who knows!?

What I DO know is that kids everywhere cannot be hated for thier own good, that you cannot shame someone to health and happiness. This is true for adults and especially true for kids; once they start on the cycle of shame, diets, unreal expectations and all the rest, it's very difficult to get away from. If you're here reading this, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Please, give what you can. Even 1$ gets us close to the MoMtL 5k match. Thank you.

To help out and make a donation you can visit THIS PAGE or, if your donation is less than $5.00 (and every little bit helps!), head over HERE.

I Stand: for Loving all Bodies.

2012-02-02T21:49:17Z

What a great thing to come home to after a long day waiting for my wonderful Adam D to get out of gallbladder-removal surgery (he’s doing well and recovering at home now!).

I stand for loving your body. Any body. All bodies. Mine. Yours. All of ours. Using shame, bullying and hatred to inspire health is the furthest thing from healthy. It is destructive, cruel and intentionally hurtful to the very thing such behaviors are purported to correct: health. Stop the bullying. All bodies deserve love and respect.

As my poster declares: I Stand for breaking the cycle of shame and hatred. Body Love has NO limits. Stop weight bigotry.

To see a Tumblr of these amazing posters go to I Stand Against Weight Bullying. The submissions are so diverse and empowering. So many voices crying out for a halt to hatred. It is truly inspiring and hopeful and beautiful.

What do you Stand for? (Or Sit for? Or Pump Your Fist for? Or Cry Out For?)

"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

Self-Care Struggles

Surrounded By Love

Sick of Being Somebody’s Cash Cow?

Who could be against “Healthy Children of All Sizes?” Part I

How to let yourself intersect

Unpacking the Fat: People Like Me

My STANDard

Hey, Get Off My Foot!

Rage Against Injustice

Beauty and Strength

Parents

One small step for man....

the HAES files: a tale of two billboards

ASDAH’s Leadership Team Supports the I STAND project!

Baby Led Weaning, “starves children and leads to underweight!!”

Fat Studies articles free downloads!

We Stand

Ripping off the Band-Aid

Food Crisis and more on Georgia.

Induction Math: The Importance of the Bishop Score

Sure Could Use a Little Good News

Monstanto Makes You Fat

Will You Be The Lucky One Wearing IGIGI This Valentine’s Day?

Karen Smith

The All-New Fat Hate Bingo 3

I Miss Fat Jonah Hill (And Other Mostly Pointless Celebrity Observations, In No Particular Order)

We Have A Winner!

Homosexual Death Drive: Fat Queer Old Lady Punks

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 5)

Wilfork is an Athlete, Hunter is a Hack

Fat Activism in New Zealand on 20/20

Pearlsong Press authors STAND for Kids & against weight bigotry

Academia, Obesity Epi-Panic, and the Emperor’s New Clothes

Wanted: One Three-Day Weekend

Responding to Fat Shaming in Georgia

Call for Interviews by Cinder Ernst

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 4)

Online Dating (While Fat)

I Stand With Fat Children & A Reminder

Fatties fat back

Walkby Shouting

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 3)

Exercise and Instant Gratification

Los Angeles, CA. Photo by Weegee, c. 1948-1950.

And Komen Came to Her Senses!

BODYSLAM! Audio

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Fatty Affair: FATshion!

lunch box “back off” note

On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 2)

Of Stereotypes and Obligations

DONATE A Solidarity Dollar NOW!

If your donation is more than $5.00 it is also greatly appreciated and you’ll donate through our GoFundMe site. Click Here!

Stand Up For Fat Kids

I Stand: for Loving all Bodies.