"Notes from the Fatosphere" via Fat O'Sphere in Google Reader

Priorities Priorities —

2009-11-08T03:42:00Z

A person, place or thing

2009-11-07T23:04:22Z

When I was a wee Nomes, only learning the first few pieces of grammar, that’s what I learned what a noun is. And obviously the misogynistic culture we live in has a lot to do with shunting women from “person” to “thing.” Lately I’ve been carrying around in my head that particular chant when I’ve seen the marketing for the film Precious. Please bear with me; image analysis is so not my field, and I am out of practice with this stuff, but I wanted to write about this.

I got the book out of the library. And it is phenomenal. I love that Precious is so determined to tell her story that we get the words directly as she thinks them. Here’s the cover:

Bright, bold, striking. I like it, I think it goes really well with the story. Especially with the significance of the lettering – the letters themselves – and Precious’s struggle to gain literacy and express herself.

Here is the first poster for the film:

Although Precious is the titular character of the film, what do we get for her here? A silhouette. Cracked and broken with the image of a hand between her legs, which strikes me as not the most subtle way of alluding to the sexual abuse she suffers from her parents. She has no features, no face, nothing. It’s unclear whether she’s intended to be naked, which is problematic. The safety orange behind her does a good job of expressing the misery of her situation at the start, but that’s about it.

Poster number two:

I like this as art but I don’t know if I like it for the film. Once again Precious has no features – we don’t even get a differentiation between her face and her hair. She looms out of the dingy background, opaque and oblique. I can’t tell if she’s supposed to be wearing a dress with an apron over it? But Precious in the book describes herself as dressing fashionably and loving clothes, including a pair of neon yellow leggings she got at Lane Bryant. I don’t know that dress-with-apron really fits. The name necklace is a nice touch. But overall it again feels to me like it falls short.

Lesley over at Fatshionista already covered some of this same ground. I want to highlight a couple of lines in particular:

Indeed, our culture would remove big pieces of Precious’ identifiable humanity for each of the two physical characteristics that make her different from most everyone else we see in leading roles: her fatness, and her Blackness. If it’s difficult to recognize Precious’ humanity, it isn’t because of the lighting or the angle at which the camera is seeing her; it’s because we’re not accustomed to seeing women who look like Precious portrayed as fully human.

By presenting Precious as a silhouette, a negative space for us to map our readings onto, we take away a lot of what makes Push so incredibly moving and heartrending. The story is about how despite the absolutely toxic environment in which she finds herself, this girl has a mind that only needs a little encouragement to blossom. She has dreams and ideals and hopes and fears and desires and sadnesses, but we don’t get any of that from these posters. Push is a story that demands to be told in the words that Precious can use. These posters don’t give her a mouth, much less a mind.

Overweight Americans Push Back on Health Debate

2009-11-07T13:56:00Z

SOURCE: New York TimesNovember 8, 2009Overweight Americans Push Back on Health Debate By SUSAN SAULNYMarilyn Wann is an author and weight diversity speaker in Northern California who has a message for...

Me and My Scales Part 4: Scales of Doom

2009-11-07T15:20:32Z

This post has been in draft for a very long time. I haven’t posted much over the past year, but I hope this addition to the Me and My Scales series will kick-start it off again. This builds on my philosophy that fat and size acceptance are an ongoing journey, not a destination.

Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

I did not one day hear the Fat Acceptance Word and shriek: “Glory!” I was not saved.

I did not go forth and diet no more.

For a long time, I still weighed myself. I still rated my value according to the number on the scale. Yes, even though I let myself eat what I wanted. And after so many years of restriction and self denial, what I wanted was food and lots of it. And I still felt the need to binge – to consume vast quantities of ‘forbidden’ food in secret – although the binges became less frequent and a smaller amount of food over time. To the point that I have not binged in years, incidentally.

(No, I’m not claiming ‘good fatty’ status – just stating that for me food restriction, AKA dieting, was one end of a wildly tottering seesaw with binging on the other end. Allowing my eating to self-regulate eventually allowed the seesaw to balance.)

Clearly, this wasn’t self care, but strangely, I feel it was a part of my path being able to care for myself.

I really don’t know how to describe the ‘in between years’ when intellectually I understood that my body did not deserve my hatred, but I hadn’t come to the point where loving my body was natural to me.

But, at some point, the scales disappeared.

I am not sure when, exactly. You would think I’d have a suitably dramatic memory of tossing the scales out the window, or running them over, or some similar angry, defiant act. But I don’t.

Nevertheless, I was somewhat anxious when my partner John commenced home dialysis a few years ago and I had to allow a pair of scales into the house (so he can work out how much fluid is removed each night – ‘dry’ weight vs his pre-dialysis weight).

They sat ominously in the corner of the bathroom: THE SCALES OF DOOM.

I worried that I would be tempted (or perhaps ‘compelled’ is the word?) to re-enter an obsession with a kilo lost or a kilo gained, that I would be on the whole diet merry-go-around again.

But, after about 15 or so years of actively not dieting, and instinctive eating, I found that I was sufficiently at ease with my size and weight to look in the mirror and enjoy my shape, not for its potential if I lose a few kilos, but as it is now.

But I still have ‘bad’ days of course. Doesn’t everyone?

Accepting one’s body as it exists today is a challenge, particularly if one is DEATHFAT.

I remember one particular ‘bad’ day a few years ago relating to the production of one of my partner’s art works. We were sourcing most of the costumes for a 70s tableau from a costume hire studio – and all they had to fit my size were hideous mumus and caftans. I was reduced to humilated tears. It worked out fine in the end – I ended up wearing a black corset over one of the groovier caftans and it looked great – but the humiliation and SHAME OF BEING FAT burned deep that day, even though I declared myself ‘pro-size acceptance’ and had for some time.

That’s part of what I mean about size acceptance and fat acceptance being a journey. We have an idealised goal in mind, but we are human. We have doubts and failings and slips and stumbles. My weight has gone up and down during this time, but that is a natural thing which doesn’t bother me either way. I haven’t been on a scale in a long time, and could only guess at what I weigh (approx 115kg +/- 5kg). At the moment, I am on a downward cycle (My jeans from last year completely slip over my hips), but that is not through any conscious decision to lose weight. I don’t feel like I am depriving myself of anything – quite the opposite in fact! However I am sure that at some point, I will be on a gaining cycle again.

We are battling against anti-fat propaganda and pressure to be thin. In fact, I believe it goes further; it’s a pressure on women in general to be aware of the *beholder* (you know “beauty is in the eye of…”, etc.) That is, we judge ourselves (and are judged) by external things – how we dress, our make up, whether our hair is professionally coifed or tousled, our size – things that are basically superficial.

The realisation that we can base our self-esteem on things other than our appearance is a big one, but very, very hard. I don’t think anyone can perfectly achieve size acceptance 100% of the time, but being aware that it is a path we can choose is a really important first step.

Posted in Body Acceptance, Body Image, Fat, Fat Acceptance, Fat Activism, Fatadelic, HAES, Life, Size Acceptance Tagged: diet, scales, weightloss

In the mirror

2009-11-07T14:50:00Z

Last night I had to get changed in a bathroom with a full length mirror. I've not seen myself in full length (almost) nudity for so long that I feel it deserves a blog entry.

Seeing myself all at once, made me pause (even though I was in a rush) - and brought up quite a lot of thoughts and feelings I wanted to share.

The first things I saw looking in the mirror were the parts of my body I don't like (which in the spirit of openness I will share)

1. My belly - which is a little large for my liking, I admit. Especially as it seems a little out of proportion with the rest of me
2. My stretchmarks, especially the livid red ones under my stomach and on my upper thighs which appeared with me putting weight on recently (immediately following yet another doomed diet, of course).

And that's it for the dislikes.

Now for the likes

1. My big boobs, which are in proportion with my body
2. My arse, which is nice and high and firm
3. My waist - which is, even without my clothes, really rather defined so I have a good hourglass thing going on.
4. My belly and boobs are both quite firm, I don't have anything that sags.
5. My skin, for the most part, is smooth, soft and silky - and looks healthy.
6. My hair and face - I have pretty eyes, a straight normal-size nose, high cheekbones - I do ok :)

In the past I have looked at myself and only seen the negative, and this has driven me to treat my body very badly. I'm surprised, after so many years of disrespecting my body I can now find so many things to like about it. Perhaps now it's time to reward myself by treating my body with the respect it deserves.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

Snoring? Must be because you’re a big, fat fatty

2009-11-06T16:31:41Z

Carrie writes:

My boyfriend and I are both happy fatties.

For years, I’ve been dealing with his snoring, which has complicated a sleep and chronic pain disorder that I have, but he was tentative about going to a specialist because he was certain the doctor would say, “Hey, dude, lose some weight and everything will be peachy keen.” Despite this fear, I finally convinced him to seek a solution for his snoring.

He had a sleep study, which came back relatively normal, and his primary care physician suggeted that he see an ear, nose & throat specialist to see if s/he might be able to further diagnose him and provide treatment.

His appointment with the ENT was yesterday. Despite being able to determine two physical conditions that could result in snoring – a deviated septum and chronic nasal inflammation – the doctor did exactly what my boyfriend had feared: gave him a long lecture about the importance of him losing weight and making assumptions that this was the true cause of his snoring problem. The doctor even recommended specific weight loss programs, all the while looking in my direction as if to say, “Take note, fatty, you could use this advice, too, even though you’re not even my patient.”

As a person with chronic medical conditions, I’ve seen my share of cocky, rude, and fatphobic medical professionals, but this particular specialist was the worst I’ve ever encountered, and he wasn’t even my doctor.

Save me from baby shower hell!

2009-11-06T20:52:47Z

Our family is throwing a baby shower for my brother and sister-in-law on Sunday and my mom keeps calling me with yet another mind-numbingly infantilizing game she’s found with names like “guess that baby food,” “the poopy diaper game” or (god forbid) “pin the binky on the baby.” I haven’t been to many baby showers, [...]

Fat Actress brings out the Fat Hate

2009-11-06T19:56:26Z

Shorter Alicia Villarosa at this website I’ve never heard of before:

Sure Gabourey Sidibe is a great actress, but could she please stop being FAT at me?

Really, that’s pretty much what she says. And the whole post is loaded down with the usual everyone knows fat people die b.s. She even uses the phrases “GAG!” and “SUPER Fat” (sic) to make sure everyone knows just how really really fat Gabourney Sidibe is. (And how totally NOT okay with it the writer is.)
I think my favorite bit has to be this:

As well adjusted as Sidibe purports to be, there’s got to be an emotional disconnect between the mind and body.

So, even though she SAYS she has no issues with her body, she obviously DOES. Don’t you know that we know everything about someone just by seeing how fat or too thin they are?
She follows this up with :

Finding comfort eating one’s way to morbid obesity is not healthy, nor is it self-affirming.

I THINK she’s trying to say that not only does Miss Sidibe have to be miserable about being fat that she also MUST be a comfort eater because how else would she get to be so fat?

Her ridiculous rant about Sidibe’s weight and anyone who would try to say that maybe obese people are I don’t know, people, is inexplicably followed up with something along the lines of …But we’re also pressured to be really thin too and that sux too OMG. As though by pointing out that being pressured to be super thin is also bad too, yeah, totally, it’s bad too and stuff, she can balance out the giant plate of steaming hot fat hate that was served up as the first half of the article.

It’s funny because she kindof almost sort of gets to a point about accepting yourself the way you are:

So how do we reconcile the bizarre extremes; the pressure to be painfully thin and the backlash that glorifies obesity? Is there a middle ground? Hopefully and tentatively, yes. Real women can, and do, have curves; people do come in all different shapes and sizes. So the message is to be the healthiest you. That means not hauling around a mountain of excess of weight that limits activities and invites health problems. Nor does it mean starving yourself or over-exercising to the brink of cardiovascular failure.

Accept yourself, you’re a real woman, that is unless you’re “SUPER fat”, and then exercising yourself to the brink of cardiovascular failure is probably a good idea fatty, don’t you know that being fat is going to kill you, stop it already.

Villarosa employs everyone’s favorite line of logic. She must be mentally unhealthy and have a poor diet, because she’s fat. Since we’re drawing unfounded conclusions about people based on very little information today, I’m going to assume this writer is miserable about her body and has decided that everyone should be too (omg especially if they are SUPER fat.) Sorry lady, you’re out of luck here.

Late update from TheRoot247’s twitter feed:

DISCUSS—-> “Fat people: thin people :: domestic violence victims:non-victims” — A Colleague

Anyone who writes for this website is clearly an idiot. I mean it. It’s not like there aren’t resources out there for people who want to research obesity or domestic violence victims. There are tons of articles and commentary which might provide some enlightening information. (Y’know based on research and facts instead of what someone thought up over their after lunch smoke break.) Instead they publish the uneducated ramblings of some obviously privileged morons with no exposure to social justice issues. Way to really raise the bar for online content.

THE NOT-SO-FRIENDLY SKIES & MY BIG FAT BUTT

2009-11-06T18:46:11Z

For many fatties air travel is one of our least favorite things to do – second only to going to the doctor. Why is this? Because we never know what to expect. We never know how we will be treated. So even if the trip is uneventful, you spend the whole time waiting for a fat-phobic employee of the airline to come up and ruin your day.

Soooooo many stories out there about fatties being treated badly by airlines – pulled off of flights, unexpectedly asked to purchase a 2^nd seat, buying a 2^nd seat only to find the airline has assigned those 2 seats in separate rows, etc.

One of the most frustrating things is the unpredictability. It is clear that, like the acceptable size of carry-on luggage, the acceptable size of the ass getting onboard is strictly up to the people at the gate. Have you ever seen anyone force a passenger to stuff their huge piece of carry-on into the little “your luggage must fit in this” box? I haven’t. Why don’t they have an airplane seat at the gate, with a sign that says “your ass must fit in this”? To me, if there is no set standard or if the standard is not uniformly enforced – it’s discrimination. And as NAAFA will tell you – discrimination is wrong. Period.

And I love that the airlines will all tell you it’s about safety – not about money. Right. So when 2 fat people traveling on Southwest are forced to buy an extra seat each, instead of allowing them to share 1 extra seat between them – it’s not about the money. Southwest will tell you that it’s because they can’t guaranty you 3 seats together – but they let the fatties preboard – so WTF.

Then you get into the issue of people who spill over seats in other ways – people with broad shoulders; people who put their seats back (so you spend the flight with your nose in their hair product); people with children; etc.

And speaking of safety – what about people who are allowed to hold their young child? Excuse me? You can’t do that in a car —- because (duh) it’s NOT SAFE. And you and your child have to be very wee for you both to fit exclusively in your seat area.

How do I handle it? Well, a lot of times, my husband and I upgrade to first class (from accumulated miles) — and here’s an interesting tidbit. The seatbelts in first class are shorter than those in coach! I can sometimes get away without an extender in coach, never in first class. I guess fatties are not supposed to be in first class. And even in first class – there is not enough room for me to properly use my tray table. Nice.

If we can’t upgrade, I get an extra seat. This is when the fun begins. The online systems are not set up for you to easily purchase that extra seat – because they want a name to go with that seat, and they don’t want the same name for two seats. When you check in, you go through the same thing about – who is this extra seat for (I usually tell them it’s for my other butt cheek). Then you go through security, and get to explain to them that the extra seat is for your other butt cheek. And again when you board. So once you get the seat (that the airline is so adamant you need), you have to justify to them why you got that extra seat – over and over again.

So usually by the time I get on the plane. I’m already not happy with the world in general. But now I get to deal with other people impinging on my space –the space I had to pay double for! I think if you want to put your seat back – you should have to pay for the seat behind you – because when you put your seat back, there is no way you are not making the person behind you uncomfortable (which I believe is why folks don’t want to sit next to us fatties – so how come, they are okay with someone’s hair gel in their nose, but not okay with my softnesses touching them? It’s a mystery). The kid behind me starts kicking the seat. The flight attendants keep running the cart into my arm because the aisles are so narrow. Oh and even though we put up the armrests – they still stick out and make it really uncomfortable if you really do spread over into that other seat. So even though I have done as requested by the airlines (for safety reasons, mind you) – the airline still cannot deliver a comfortable trip to me.

Maybe the airlines should just admit to EVERYBODY that they will get you where you are going (on time or not) but that it will not necessarily be comfortable. That way, if you don’t like sitting next to a fatty – YOU can buy the extra seat – since YOU are the one afraid of being touched (despite the fact that fat is not catching, you know) – and then YOU can explain that the second seat is because you are a fat-phobe, and you can’t risk contact with “us”.

Now, the airlines are making all kind of nasty noises about weighing passengers, charging a “fat tax” on tickets, etc. To understand why this is so very inappropriate, I urge you to check out (and join) Association for Air Passengers Rights (AAPR) at flyfriendlyskies.com. They are great fat-allies. As AAPRS explainted at the 2009 NAAFA Convention, airlines count on there being an average weight for each seat – so while you may be above average, they aren’t giving credits to those who are under the average, and they aren’t giving you a credit when you carry less weight in luggage. It’s all about the money and it’s all about an attitude that they can discriminate against the fatties and get away with it.

I personally try to avoid using Southwest Airlines – because I feel they are the most egregious when it comes to fat discrimination. HOWEVER, they are also the only airline that if you buy a second seat and they are not fully booked on that flight, you can get the cost of that second seat back; so I can totally understand why some people prefer to fly with them. Granted, it is a major hassle to get that refund (funny, they can’t just credit it back to your credit card when you get off the plane, and funny, they can’t tell if the plane is going to be full – even right before the flight). You have to hang onto your documentation, you need to get the paperwork from Southwest right there at the airport (and funny, they never seem to have it handy! — don’t let them skate, they made you buy that extra seat – you make them give you the paperwork). But at least, you have the chance of getting your money back from them.

And I encourage you to keep apprised of the current rulings concerning air travel. I had a Southwest attendant tell me that I couldn’t sit in the exit row if I needed a seat extender – that it was an FAA ruling. NOT. The FAA leaves it up to the airline to determine who should be sitting in the exit rows – and did you know, they are supposed to make sure that if you wear glasses, that you can see well enough without them to read the instructions (ever see anyone check on that?); and the FAA warns that many small women are not strong enough to handle the exit doors. I know if I needed an exit door open – I’d want a BIG strong person there operating them. How about you?

And if it’s really all more than you want to deal with – may I recommend train travel? Perfect if you’re not in a hurry to get there; and (so far) much more fat friendly.

Up Close and Personal with Plus Size Designer Jacqueline Floro of INÈS Collection

2009-11-06T17:00:06Z

Every now and again, you come across a designer who sears such a memorable impression that you will never forget them, and are constantly on the hunt to find them. This is the case with Ines...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Fat Friday - Guns

2009-11-06T17:25:41Z

I think I would like to hire this woman as my bodyguard. I wish I felt as strong as she looks. Find more sculptures and paintings of large women by Jed Dougherty here.

Stongwoman by J. Dougherty

Salad-dodging: Sumo fail

2009-11-06T16:19:30Z

Everyone knows salads are healthy? Right? Amirite? The make you thin and healthy! And cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets are pure evil and make you ugly and die.

Well, according to Sumo Salad, an outlet found in food courts everywhere in Australia. See Axis of Fat’s post on this heinousness.

Only they’re a bit like Subway on this “We’re healthy!” front: hypocrites. If you compare their nutritional info sheets to those of McDonald’s, KFC and so on, you can see that they have many menu items which have more fat/calories/etc than a cheeseburger, 6 nuggets, small fries, and other apparently evil food items. The chicken and mushroom salad has 36g of fat, for example. All of their wraps have at least as much fat and energy as a chicken burger. Even their lowest-calorie mini rolls are about on par with a cheeseburger or 2 pieces of fried chicken.

Maybe you’d get a little more nutritional diversity out of a chicken and mushroom salad as opposed to Big Mac, but that’s not what the advertising campaign is about. It’s about claiming Sumo Salad is “healthy” and will prevent cankles or whatever the hell else because it’s low-fat/low-cal compared to other fast food franchises. This is simply untrue. It’s just an excuse for some body-shaming and food moralising in an attempt to sell more of their products. Bleah.

The Zaftig Chicks’ Guide to…Twilight?

2009-11-06T16:21:47Z

by sylvia

Have y’all been to this Regretsy site? It is totally awesome. Bianca and I have been spending some time there lately, as it has deemed itself a notable waster-of-time.

But here’s the thing – what is the fascination with Twilight? And yes, I know I’m a little behind the times on this one, but now that the second movie is coming out and I actually forced myself to read what I could of the first book, I’ve got to ask the question.

See, there are these ladies at work that spent countless hours of countless days talking about the books and the movies. It was downright annoying. Bianca and I would joke them (behind their backs, of course) but while we were busy talking smack about D-list celebrities, they were going on about these fictional characters. Which I guess is kinda the same thing, but I digress.

Regardless, they were obsessed. And by looking at the Regretsy pages, walking by Hot Topic, and even looking for dresses at Torrid, so are thousands/millions(?) of other people.

But why?

Why has this series, these characters, struck such a chord with so many people? Is it because Bella is basically uncoordinated and mousey and then becomes the “belle of the ball” when she moves to a new school, and the cutest boy likes her? Do the people obsessed with this wish that would happen to them because they are essentially Bella?

Is it like a romance novel for the tweens, pre-teens, teens, and middle-aged women?

And to top it all off, I had a dream last night about the movie. Granted, I haven’t even seen the movie yet, but there they were, the two main characters, blabbing about something and vampires in my dream. I tend to have really boring dreams.

I remember when Harry Potter was a mad craze, too. And I actually read some of those books. Maybe I’m just not the kind of person to get all crazy about something, unless it is booze or food, so I can’t quite relate.

But what is it about Twilight that makes so many people obsessed? Bianca and I have determined that we need to watch the movie before we can really snark on it anymore (cuz Lord knows I could not get through that book, and it’s not just because of my short attention span).

But in the interim, if anyone can shed some light on the phenomenon that is the obsession with Twilight, I ask honestly – please do.

Old Clothes

2009-11-06T15:34:59Z

It is “winter” in Florida – that means it is in the 70s and 80s at the moment instead of the 80s and 90s and 100s. It might have even gotten down into the 60s but I try not to pay too much attention to that sort of thing because it fills me with despair.

Point is, in an effort to locate some “winter” clothes, I got my closet and dresser a bit more organized and realized I had some clothes I haven’t worn in a long time – like, a year or more.

Part of the beauty, for me, of not dieting is that while I had a sort of left-over habitual moment of worry about whether or not those clothes would still fit, it was easy to shake that off. OF COURSE they still fit. Once I stopped trying to force my body to change, my weight and shape stabilized and is happily sitting at pretty much exactly the same point it has been sitting for about 4 years now.

Some of my clothes are older than that – they are the clothes I have left over from before my last “I’ll get healthy and that will make me lose weight” attempt about 5 years ago. And those clothes? Still fit. They got a bit big when I was staving myself but I went right back to the same size (give or take a little bit) as I was before.

There’s this hot pink skirt I bought at Wal-Mart of all places, in 2004. Still fits. Still love it. There’s a black peasant top from Old Navy (I wore it yesterday as a matter of fact). There’s all of these clothes that I love and do not have to remember fondly because I can still wear them fondly.

It’s kind of amazing.

I often hear the “I can’t afford to not diet; I have to stay in these same clothes.” Buying new clothes is expensive and a pain in the ass, I get that, I really do. But buying clothes for the skinny phase (whatever counts as skinny) of your diet is not a sound motivational technique.

I have some concert t-shirts from high school. They still fit, because I was a fat kid then, too. They 14 years old, yo.

When I realized that, hey, I actually did not need to worry about whether or not those clothes would fit, it was kind of like a huge anxiety I didn’t even know I was feeling disappeared.

And getting dressed got even more fun – I had been sort of unconsciously limiting my choices without thinking about it and now…. Now I don’t have to do that anymore.

This is what I mean when I say FA is a constant process. There is so much pressure from all sides, so many internalized messages, so many past experiences rearing their heads – it all goes so deep.

So, we’ll just keep moving deeper, too, eh?

Shoes of the week!

2009-11-06T15:07:06Z

Torrid is having their 50% off clearance sale, which means really good prices on some great stuff. You just have to be willing to dig a bit! Keep in mind that sizing is limited, especially in the shoe department. If you’re a size 7, you really should check it out. Most of the shoes Torrid carries are wide width but some aren’t, so make sure to check the item page.

Black Faux Lizard V-Front Finella Heel, $15
A little edgy but still feminine, these heels would look great with straight leg pants or a simple dress.

Cobalt Patent Malia Heel, $12.50
Torrid has a bunch of different colors in this style. I really like this bright cobalt blue patent.

Purple Faux Leather Finella Ruffled Heel, $15
These are just begging to go to a holiday party. The ruffle is cute but definitely not over the top.

Fatism, Classism, Sexism: “People of Walmart”

2009-11-06T15:10:15Z

One of my students first told me about People of Walmart, and even though my first reaction was that making fun of working class people is kind of not cool, a lot of my students insisted that no, it was funny, and I should check it out. Indeed, makes fun of lots of people, such as those who paint their cars as Clay Aiken tributes, or dye their hair to look like toupees, or dress like zebras.

On the other hand, it does make fun of fat people quite a bit, most often for wearing very tight clothing. (Of course if you are skinny and wearing tight clothing, it is described as “awesome.”) It also has used the term “back titty” more than once. (If there’s a word I can’t stand…) And occasionally there are posts where the entire point is “you are fat and your clothes are riding up“; conversely, there are posts where the fact that the person is fat is seemingly irrelevant.

This is another one of those things where I can’t decide if I’m being oversensitive or not sensitive enough. Is People of Walmart equal-opportunity free-for-all mockery, or are there undercurrents of fatism and classism (or even racism and sexism) that we should be pissed off about? And is it even okay to take pictures of strangers in public and post them online in the first place? Is Look at this Fucking Hipster equally bad? I’d love to know your thoughts.

Intersecting Trans and Fat: Similarities, Differences and All the Rest

2009-11-06T14:45:00Z

I've been going through some old documents recently and I found some discussions exploring the links between fat and trans people. I've cobbled them together as a blog post because I think this stuff needs saying.

Some of the ideas below were proposed by people who took part in a LiveJournal discussion, on 25 April 2007, which is friends-locked. I remain thankful and grateful to Stacy Bias, Grant Denkinson, Fflo, Zoe Meleo-Erwin, Nine and Leah Strock for their contributions to this discussion. I've also edited in a passage from an email concerning parallels between weight loss surgery (WLS) and gender surgery because that seems to fit here too.

There's been a recent thread on the Fat Studies list about the intersections between fat and trans stuff. One fat activist said that he didn't see that there was any connection, he got jumped on by lots of people who think that there is.

I did no jumping, but I've long had a mini-list stewing in my brain about the things that fat and trans people have in common, and don't. I've resisted posting about it because I worry that I'm too worthy and precious about this stuff, too serious. But it is serious. I also get pretty bored when people obsess about identity and begin an announcement with something like "As a _______ ________ ________, who is ______ and ______, I think...". Just because you have a label for yourself doesn't mean that you speak for everyone else who shares those labels. Hopefully this won't invite too much of that.

This isn't a comprehensive list, it's just my preliminary thoughts, and in notes. I continue to welcome additions, comments and suggestions.

Similarities between trans and fat people and communities

A lot of fat people have never heard of transgender and a lot of transgender people have never heard of fat activism
Being fat and being trans are not mutually exclusive identities, you can be both, more, or neither
Fat and trans people are often categorised as a spectrum of types and bodies
Both groups are about being the impossible, embodying what a lot of people can barely imagine
Both groups of people are blamed for not trying hard enough to be normal, both are presumed to be culpable
Both have been regarded as comic stereotypes
Both have some funny kind of magical power, but only sometimes and only in particular settings; think about the magical power that drag queens have in a room full of straight people, or the magical power of The Cool Fatty
Both identities can involve some kind of coming out to oneself, or self-acceptance
Capitalism banks on fatphobia and transphobia to sell product
Clichés: inside a fat person there's supposedly a thin one waiting to escape; similarly, some trans people talk about growing up as one gender and knowing that they were really its opposite inside
Growing politicisation, community, social justice, legal rights
It's all about the body, its secrets and possibilities
It's sort of about repositioning ourselves as valid and worthy in the face of oppression and/or self-hatred, also about developing positive self-images and feeling confident about taking up space in the world
Medicalisation is a big part of our daily lives
Our very existence forces people to question basic beliefs about big ideas, including: health, gender, the body, normality, difference
People have funny theories about how we got this way and some of these theories have a lot of currency, even though they are really weird
Scapegoating, discrimination and prejudice are also part of our lives and leave their imprint upon us
Shame and denial are familiar things
Some people like to fetishise us
Surgery does and does not necessarily make us what we hope to be
Television programme makers like us a lot and always want us to be on their crappy shows
Trans and fat people are in the midst of developing our own aesthetics and norms regarding how we look and behave, we are developing our own cultures
We both experience varying degrees of being visible to the wider culture, with all the prurience, pain and pleasure that entails.
You can also be a fatphobic transperson, or a transphobic fat person. Hurrah!
Both trans and fat people can always find work at a circus freakshow

Some crossovers but a lot of differences

Medical intervention. Some trans people and fat people welcome all medical interventions and see doctors as their allies. There's a strong assimilationist streak in both groups, which can be validated to a certain extent through medical interventions. There are also fat and trans people who are very critical of the power held by health professionals and medical gatekeepers. There are probably more who are ambivalent. A lot of trans and fat people rely on drugs and medical equipment to get by in life. Both groups have had to learn a lot of self-advocacy skills in order to negotiate health provision.
There are differences are in the way that medical intervention is regarded as elective for some trans people and mandatory for the fatties, though this isn't always the case
Trans people are categorised as psychologically disordered in the DSM-IV as gender identity disorder, transvestic fetishism, or other types of paraphilia. Fat people are often lumped in together with people who have eating disorders, but fat doesn't appear in the DSM-IV as an official psychiatric disorder - yet.
I suppose the medicalised categories that are used to demarcate different types of trans people don't really exist for fat people so much; overweight, obese and morbidly obese don't really match the whole host of acronyms and categorisations that trans people have.
I think trans people's surgery is also relevant to the notion of finding some kind of fat lib accommodation of WLS. Some, in my view, anti-trans feminists have argued that gender reassignment surgery is mutilation, but the people that have it themselves think of it as life-saving.
In various dyke communities I've heard nasty comments about "all the butches disappearing and becoming men," which to me is congruent with the line that WLS turns formerly fat lib activists into skinny pod people who are no longer of use or relevance to fat activist communities. In more progressive queer and feminist spaces there have been attempts to understand and incorporate trans people as a presence that is enriching to the community.
I am critical of the way that trans bodies are often medicalised bodies, or the way that gender surgery is often presented as the only way of being authentic, trans, or gendered. Yet although I would not want that surgery myself, and do not recognise myself as being on the part of a gender spectrum where I might look for it, it's not as emotive to me as WLS. Perhaps this is because of my own identity and history.

Differences

Do fat activists have any allies?! I think we are much more alone than trans activists
Gatekeeping processes for surgery; it is common for trans people to have to construct an 'appropriate' narrative in order to access services, whereas WLS is more accessible for fat people, especially superfat people, it's almost mandatory.
In some circumstances it's possible to pass as 'normal' if you are trans. Fat people can't pass as not fat. Passing or not passing is, of course, a complicated thing that is not necessarily useful, helpful or wanted. I also think there are trans people who couldn't pass even if they wanted to, and fat people that have other signifiers that enable them to sort of pass.
I've noticed some episodes of unquestioned body fascism in trans communities, I think it's a bit more acceptable to be a body fascist there than it is in fat communities, though there are plenty of exceptions to this too
Some - to my mind, discredited - theorists have suggested that the fat body is intrinsically gendered, but there's no consensus as to what that means, and I don't know of any theories that use the T word when this stuff is discussed. They say that fat = extreme femininity, that fat women are very manly or fat men are like women, that fat correlates with butch and femme. There's no similar theory that relates to trans people and fat.
Trans people have a relationship with LGB communities and fat people don't so much, though this relationship is problematic as well as useful

Food Choices, Lying, and the Diabetes Question

2009-11-06T14:41:59Z

I haven’t had a single sugary food item for two weeks. No cookies, no candy, no ice cream, no chocolate, no desserts. This isn’t a matter of willpower or virtue or whatever, and I’m not saying this to get pats on the back or be added to the “Good Fattie” list. And I’m not eating any [...]

Obesity causes cancer - more "BIG FAT LIES"!

2009-11-06T09:42:00Z

A radio show from the BBC recently featured a metastudy which concluded that obesity "causes" cancer. The researchers opined that 100,000 cases a year can be linked to obesity. According to the Washington Post:

This study, from scientists at the University of Manchester, analyzed 141 articles involving 282,137 cancer cases and 20 different types of malignancies to determine the cancer risk associated with a 5 kilogram-per-meter-squared increase in BMI, roughly the increase that would bump a person from middle-normal weight into overweight.

141 articles isn't that many of course, not withstanding that they can pick and choose which articles to include and also, probably did not have a real accurate measure of BMI from the studies anyway.

It should be noted that over 1.6 million new cases of cancer are diagnosed in the USA every year, so even if their figures were correct that would only be 6 percent of cancers (according to WEBMD.COM) which can be linked to obesity - 94 percent of which can NOT be linked to obesity. The researchers on the program admitted that lifestyle factors like sedentary lifestyle and poor food choices were a player and briefly mentioned "the link between tobacco and cancer" but did not give any figures.

WebMD states that these figures linking obesity and cancer, were "estimated" from existent data (what the junkfoodscience.blogspot.com calls a "data dredge" study.).

So how does excess fat "cause" cancer? The researchers didn't have an answer for that but opined that fat tissue, produces estrogen. What they didn't tell us is that fat tissue produces the type of estrogen our bodies can use but when we flood our bodies with synthetic pharmaceutical estrogen, this raises the risk of breast cancer FAR MORE than 6 percent.

For example the HERS study on 11,000 women, a double blind study found a 26 percent higher incidence of breast cancer in those in the cohort, on low dose birth control medications. 26 percent OBSERVED in a double blind study which was stopped midterm. Not a tiny 6 percent from "estimated" figures.

Synthetic estrogen was put on the FDA list of carcinogens in 2005.

Finally, it should also be noted that researcher, Dr. Glen Gaesser stated in his book, "BIG FAT LIES" (CA, 2002) that he found in his metastudy of all the obesity research in the previous 20 years, that obese people seemed to get cancer significantly LESS often than non obese people. 40 percent less cancer in the obese, than normal weight people, concluded Gaesser.

Dr Linda Bacon, respected scientist and author of "HEALTH AT EVERY SIZE", was also on the BBC program and started to directly refute the findings with cited studies. As soon as they found she could do this, she was rudely interrupted (twice!). Before they cut her off, she pointed out that for example in a group of 23 studies, only 4 had suggested a significant link between obesity and cancer so she asked how these researchers could conclude from a small percentage like that, that obesity "causes" cancer. They evaded her question, of course.

I wrote the BBC a comment accusing them of dishonesty in news reporting and challenged them to have Dr Bacon on again to tell the REALITY of what the studies on obesity and cancer REALLY show. Perhaps some of you might want to do same.

Until we demand more honesty out of the news services, we won't get it. Fat activist Marilyn Wann was on the same program. Here's the link:

BBC radio program on the so-called "obesity link" to cancer

ManiK MAGAZINE Puts Ethics in Perspective with Anti-PETA “Save the Apology” Ad

2009-11-06T07:59:55Z

Remember that “Save the Whales” ad PETA unapologetically put out in an attempt to tell us fatties that by going vegan we will lose weight? I KNOW YOU DO. If you don’t remember, let...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Other Words —

2009-11-06T06:15:00Z

Poor and Pathetic —

2009-11-06T06:13:00Z

Tragedy and Triumph —

2009-11-06T05:50:00Z

I like salad and I like muffins

2009-11-06T02:43:54Z

Who's moralising food now? Why, Sumo Salad!

Let's get this out of the way - I LOVE salad. Don't keel over in shock or anything, but I think there's nothing so refreshing in a stinky hot Brisbane summer as a fresh and crisp salad. Occasionally when I'm out in a shopping centre, I'll get a hankering for something to eat and the best out of a bad bunch will be food retailers like Sumo Salad. I've had it approximately twice in my life (I don't really go shopping much!) and every time I've been there, their staff (teenagers) have closed down the hotplates early so they can go home on time. I've had to settle for the premade salad in the bain-marie those times, but last night I snapped and turned on my heel so I could write a passive aggressive tweet about it. When I'm hungry, I'm grumpy. I like to avoid being grumpy.

I felt justified in my wroth when Leigh linked to Sumo Salad's new ads which brought on waves of non-hunger related grumpiness that can only be assuaged by blogging furiously.

And anyway, that "cankle" isn't even one. Fat and skinny people, and lots of people in-between, have cankles - you're born with them and you may as well make peace with them!

Similarly, many men (from skinny to fat and back again) have "moobs" that they were born with - they weren't made by chicken nuggets at all.

Hey, Sumo Salad! Your mascot is fat and appropriated for Maude knows what reason because none of your food is even remotely Japanese. Your salads are wilted and bland! I will now add you to the list of Foodcourt Retailers I Avoid - fear the angry fat lady's wrath! I'm so over the body shaming and food demonising and I don't understand how insulting your target market will entice them into your stores, unless your ads aren't aimed so much at fat people but at people who are afraid of being fat. Sumo Salad, you are douchebags (and I like to keep douchebags away from my lady bits!)

Hollywood makes way for the 5th Annual Miss Plus Top Model Awards Show

2009-11-06T01:36:42Z

Making Big Moves on the West Coast is the 5th Annual Miss Plus Top Model Awards taking place this Sunday, and YOURS Truly will be a judge for it! Please read on to learn more about this monumental...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Joe Ligotti chews the fat in Don Imus war

2009-11-05T14:12:00Z

SOURCE: BostonHerald.com - The Inside TrackJoe Ligotti chews the fat in Don Imus warBy Gayle Fee and Laura Raposa Thursday, November 5, 2009 Joe Ligotti, aka The Guy From Boston, thinks radio yakker...

Links a`la Mode- 11.06.09

2009-11-05T19:59:35Z

Go Fashion Bloggers, Go! Edited by Debutante Clothing As more and more print magazines fold, bloggers seem to be growing in professionalism and media legitimacy. When bloggers such as Previously...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Biding Time —

2009-11-05T16:48:00Z

Contexualizing the invisible: How people are talking about Precious

2009-11-05T17:31:08Z

The Heart–which may be broken: happy they! Thrice fortunate! who of that fragile mould, The precious porcelain of human clay, Break with the first fall: they can ne’er behold The long year linked with heavy [...]

Boot Me Up Scotty

2009-11-05T16:00:05Z

Every Fall I die for the fiercest boots to cater to my wide calves, and while there are few, I still can lust after these fabulous frocks below! What do you think? Tweet This!Share this on...

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Hooray for expanded mobility!!!

2009-11-05T16:35:00Z

I finally got my Rollator walker last week. This means that I can now shop in places that don't have electric carts (like some malls, and most stores). It also means that when DH wants to go to the local toy shows, pancake breakfasts, and Pioneer Power shows, we can actually go because I'll have the walker to lean on (and when my back cramps and I can't walk anymore, it has a seat so I can sit until the cramping goes away). I won't have to worry about standing in lines forever anymore (and let me tell you, the pancake breakfasts around here have some of the longest lines I've ever seen).
This is a picture of it:

I ordered it from amazon.com, it was originally priced at $595, I got it for $163.62 (and didn't have to pay any shipping and handling, got it 4 days after I ordered it). It has a weight capacity of 400 lbs, so it's well worth the money (and was mostly assembled, just had to install the handles with the brakes, the basket, and the back rest).
I know I'm probably going to get looks from people when they see me using it, since I'm a fat woman - "Oh noes, she's fat and using a walker, what a lazy fat fatty mcfatterson she is." (same shit when I use the electric carts at WallyWorld). But ya know what, I don't care. They don't live with the pain I have, they don't know anything about it (and I don't talk about it much in the meatworld), and if this is going to widen my horizons and let me get out more and do more with DH, then I'm all for it.
Hell, I can actually go shopping with him at Menard's now, since Menard's doesn't have those electric carts, and the one wheelchair they have sure as hell doesn't fit my fat ass (it might fit my D-I-L, who is 5' 10" and 150 lbs). I'll be able to spend more time shopping in individual stores because I'll have a place to sit when my back starts hurting because I've been standing for too long - which may not be a good idea, more time to shop means more time to spend money......
We even have a bike/walking trail that runs past our house that DH and I will finally be able to use in the summer time now (can't use it in the winter time, it's a snowmobile trail then, and those snowmobiles zoom by, even here in town).
I am so looking forward to finally being able to get out and about more than I have been. This Rollator walker is going to open up my life so much, I can't even think of all the ways it's going to help.

My Inner Supermodel is Broken

2009-11-05T16:35:10Z

By Bianca

FDR once said: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

He forgot to include falling on your fat ass in front of 4,00 people, 7 photographers, and the casting people from 3Ball productions. Because I am very afraid that will be me in a little over 2 weeks.

Remember that little fashion show thing I am doing? It’s not so little anymore. Or apparently never was. You guys, I have to walk a 52 foot runway in 3 inch heels, in front of over 4,000 people. Not 40. Not 400. 4,000.

Gulp.

What the hell was I thinking? I am not a runway model. I am not even that fierce, I just play it on my blog. I am a boring soccer mom, who until recently wore flats to work every single day. Standing in heels hurts my feet and legs. When I try to smile with my eyes, I look like a serial killer. My runway bitch face makes me look cross-eyed.

And yet, I somehow need to find a way to make this work. It doesn’t help that at every single rehearsal I get singled out in the group that needs “extra help”. I listen to what our coach has to say, practice really hard during the week, do what I think is awesome at the next practice, and then end up in the sucky group again.

It’s so freaking frustrating.

And I have lost my confidence. Whenever I walk, all I think about is what hips are doing, why my arms are doing, what my shoulders are doing. I try to make sure I’m not too bouncy, that I’m not walking too fast, that my face has attitude. And all that does is make me look like I have no idea what I am doing. Hell, I am having problems with my normal walk now, because all I can think about is how my arms are swinging.

This was supposed to be a super fun experience, and instead it’s turned me into this insecure mess, and I hate that I’ve let that happen. Even Sylvia’s ’Bianca you are so awesome, and I want to be you’ pep talks are having no effect (I must have been really really drunk ~ sylvia). What the heck happened to me?

So how do I get my mojo back? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Beakman's World —

2009-11-05T15:49:00Z

Kirstie Alley to get new weight loss reality show

2009-11-05T15:03:00Z

Speaking of Jenny Craig spokescelebrities… Oh, Kirstie. Does your masochism know no end? The former Jenny Craig spokescelebrity and once-again fat actress has a new weight loss reality television show coming out next year on A&E. As CNN reports, the yet-unnamed series will follow Kirstie as “she juggles producing a feature film, sticking to a new [...]

Years of abuse from doctors delay MS diagnosis

2009-11-05T14:49:54Z

HappyWriter writes:

I think if I began to tell all of the stories I had about being discriminated against as a child, and now adult – I could write a small novella. I never talk about it, I dont often write about it, I just block it out. As a child, I had a doctor who I still hold a special place of mild contempt for. I still clearly remember her telling my mother that if I did not lose weight, my tonsils would explode, My mother (out of fear and embarrassment I think) would often agree with the doctors who were making me feel like trash. I realized at an early age that doctors didnt help all the time.
When I was about 13 years old, I was struggling with a very bad bout of tonsillitis as per usual. I already had a fear of going to the doctor because of what I’d grown up hearing, but when the Dr walked in and she was slim and tall, I thought “oh no” (how easy it is to do what is done to us). I calmed myself by thinking – It’s tonsillitis, I have it every year, she’ll just need to give me a prescription for antibiotics.
How wrong I was.
She told me to take off all of my clothes except for my bra and panties and then proceeded to humiliate me for 15 minutes about how fat I was. She just couldnt get over my fatness. The fact that I was actually ill faded away. I was fat, and that is all I was. It was one of the most damaging experiences Ive ever had in my life.
When I was 15, I had a doctor take my blood pressure twice and declare – puzzled “it’s normal?”
After that, I stopped going to doctors all together. I didn’t have the courage. In the next 9 years I went to the doctor once.
So when I got headache when I was 24, going to the doctor was the last thing on my mind. When it had not gone away three weeks later, I still did not go to the doctor. When my body started shutting down, I finally went. When I told them that I had a headache for three weeks, they wondered why I didn’t go to the Dr, but they had not lived the life with Drs I had.
I didn’t know it then, but it was the beginning of a long, tedious road with doctors. For about 3 years, I had to fight to get anyone to even take me seriously. At one point I wrote in a journal – Doctors must be so happy when I walk into a room, they know at that point they won’t have to do any work at all – just rely on the old standby. It feels as if I go in with a pinky ache, all they would tell me to do is lose weight.” through all of the nightmares, I had one doctor who treated me like a person – like a real person, and I couldn’t believe it. She did not ignore my weight, but she didn’t make me feel like I was nothing but my weight. She was an angel disguised as a Dr.
When I started having difficulty breathing, she feared that it was an auto immune condition I was diagnosed with – deteriorating, and sent me to a Pulmonologist, who on sight – on sight said to me “if none of your other doctors have told you, I will tell you – you need to loose weight”. She was sure I had sleep apnea, and a whole other set of problems although she hadn’t seen a chart or any other testing results. She wasn’t even really interested in running tests because she was sure that the only reason I could not breathe was because I was fat. Three years later, still struggling with my breathing despite having lost 110lbs (but still fat) she thought perhaps it really could be my auto immune system causing the trouble. Last year, I was scheduled for a heart catheterization. When I went in, I overheard one of the nurses- whom Id never seen before a day in my life, say “Yeah, she’s supposed to be on a special diet (not true), but you can obviously see that’s not happening, she’s as big as a house”. What made this statement especially hurtful was the fact that I was in fact smaller than I’d ever been in my adult life. Ive had so much blamed on my weight, sometimes, I just prayed to get a doctor who would listen to me and see me as a person before they see the weight. I was finally diagnosed with MS, but I have to wonder – if it could’ve been caught earlier if I had a Dr who listened and taken me seriously. If I hadn’t started losing weight, If I gave up like I did when I was 15 – where in the world would I be right now?
I know that society has a way, but I can honestly say that doctors were/are among my most harsh mental abusers. The sad thing is that they have a license to be.

Returning to the well: Tights and belts and cardigans

2009-11-05T15:08:32Z

I had reason today to thumb through the archives on this site, something I do embarrassingly infrequently. It’s as though the archives are a cluttered attic and I keep finding shit waaay in the back I’d totally forgotten about. In my time-travels I ran across a few seasonally-appropriate posts that may appeal to some [...]

Winter Care for Skin and Hair

2009-11-05T14:49:00Z

I'm still reeling from the idea that people think I deserve to pay more for health care based on a physical attribute I can't change. So I don't really have the emotional reserves for anything that meaningful. I'm not normally a "beauty and fashion" type of blogger, but since winter is here and the air is drying, I thought I'd share my personal tips.

Here in the north, winter means artificial heat. The word of the season is dry. My skin is constantly tight and itchy, my heels crack, my hair turns to straw. I don't have a lot of disposable income for expensive products, so I fight the dry fight on a budget.

The first thing I do is switch from soap to body wash for the season. Nothing fancy, but the difference between the best moisturizing bar soap and a reasonably priced bottle of body wash is significant in terms of moisturizing power. I buy the Suave cocoa and shea butter wash when it's on sale, the off-brand knockoff when it isn't.

Cost: Approx $2/month

I invest in a good razor with cartridges, instead of the cheap disposables. Dry skin is easily irritated and vulnerable to razor burn. On the other hand, I don't bother with shave cream; the body wash works just as well without an extra purchase. I use Shick Quattro for Women, and change the cartridge every two weeks.

Cost: Approx $5/month

Since my skin is so dry, I skip the expensive lotions and go straight to virgin coconut oil. It's easy to find in health food stores or specialty Asian or Indian cooking supply stores. Coconut oil is an extremely lightweight oil that's solid at room temperature but melts almost instantly on the skin. It's easily absorbed and doesn't evaporate over time like lotion. If you have sensitive skin or break out easily you might want to test it on one spot for a few days before using it everywhere. I put it on right after I shower in the morning and a little goes a long way. a 16 ounce jar lasts me at least 3-4 months, including using it on my hair. I then wait a few minutes for it to absorb before getting dressed.

Cost: Approx $3.00/month

For my face, I avoid the $40 sugar scrubs in the stores and just use sugar. Regular, cheap, old-fashioned white table sugar. Why pay for the artificial suspension mediums and perfumes in the commercial sugar scrubs? I keep about a cup of white sugar in a bowl on a shelf by the shower, dig out a small handful onto a washcloth and scrub gently until it dissolves. I try to not keep too much in the bathroom at a time or it will start to clump. I don't use cleansers or toners in addition to this, because I've found that the sugar cleanses the skin pretty well, suppresses breakouts, and rinses clean.

Cost: Approx 10 cents/month

As a facial moisturizer I also bypass the commercial cosmetic industry that puts a drop of shea butter in a bottle of lotion and charges you outrageous money for it. I just bought the raw shea butter directly from a fair-trade source in Africa. I keep a lump of it in a jar and the rest in the freezer. So far a pound has lasted me over a year. I only need about 1/4 teaspoon to moisturize my face, so it goes a long way. Better yet, I don't end the day with dry flakey face because the pure raw shea actually stays on the skin instead of evaporating. Of course I bought it when I had a wholesale license, so it was much cheaper. When I have to re-order I'll have to hit up a friend of mine who owns a store to order it for me. I can also usually find it at Pagan festivals, the annual Black Arts festival, Island Fest, etc. here in town for around $20/pound. The extra effort is worth it when you're talking about 1/20 the cost of re-packaged versions.

Cost: Aprox $1/month

My main hair product, other than shampoo and conditioner, is virgin coconut oil. I have very long, thick, dry hair that desperately needs treatment in the winter to keep from getting brittle. Before I wash my hair I use about two teaspoons of oil as a detangler (and it works marvelously!). I brush the hair to distribute the oil evenly through the middle and ends and let it sit for about 10 minutes before I get in the shower. I only wash my hair every other day, and on the off days I rub a very small amount (1/2 teaspoon) of coconut oil into the last few inches of hair, then brush as usual to distribute. By applying just to the ends I keep the hair at my scalp from getting too oily.

Cost: Nothing (accounted for as body moisturizer)

My feet are a real problem year round. I hate to wear shoes and socks, so my feet dry out easily and crack until it's painful to walk. I tried to keep up with them by using a foot rasp to remove the callouses and intensive moisturizer, but a friend who works at a podiatry office told me that the rasping to remove dead skin actually causes the callouses to form more quickly. I finally just started using Vaseline morning and night. Well, I say Vaseline. What I mean is dollar-store petroleum jelly, which is the same thing at a tenth the price. I smear it on my feet at night and wear socks to bed. I smear it on in the morning and wear socks for half an hour until I have to leave for work. As a result I haven't had the splitting callus thing in over four months, and my heels are actually starting to look like skin instead of a desert landscape.

Cost: Approx $1/Month

So that's my winter daily care routine. Your mileage may vary, especially if your skin is more oily than dry. But I'm a big fan of cheap, especially when I'm using things that work better than the expensive store-bought. Altogether it looks like I spend about $12.10 each month caring for my skin and hair. I've spent more than that on a single bottle of fancy facial moisturizer before I called foul and put my money to better use.

By the way:

2009-11-05T12:29:28Z

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

Just saying.

What’s wrong with this lineup?

2009-11-05T11:00:39Z

So, there’s a lecture series called Smart Talk Connected Conversations and it’s coming to Cincinnati for the 12th year in January. The celebrity-based spoken word series invites intriguing and influential women to present their stories in an intimate setting in what is supposed to be an uplifting, educational and empowering experience for women. Here’s the [...]

Guest Post - Some Partially Formed Thoughts On Size & Disability

2009-11-05T06:06:35Z

Meloukhia is one of the brilliant bloggers at the relatively new group blog FWD/Forward - FWD (feminists with disabilities for a way forward) which I totally encourage you all to check out, bookmark or sub to and read as often as possible. I have learned so much about living with a disability since FWD was established and when I read Meloukhia’s post on the insectionality of fat and disability I knew I had to ask her to guest post here. So with no further ado…

A conversation in the FWD comments and with other FWD contributors got me thinking. And the best way for me to think, sometimes, is to write about what I am thinking, hence, this post, which is being crossposted on this ain’t livin’.

A commenter basically asked why size acceptance and disability activism are separate movements, and brought up the issue of ableism in the size acceptance movement. This is a question I’ve been asked a couple of times, so I responded with my blanket answer, which is that the two social movements are different things, with some intersections. There’s a lot of intersectionality between size acceptance and disability activism, but the two are different. Kind of like how feminism and disability activism are different. Again, many intersections, but different types of people and different types of end goals.

Being separate movements (with intersections) does not, of course, mean that members of either movement should be discriminating against each other, since they do have some common goals, and this is where the issue of ableism in size acceptance comes into play.

One of the cornerstones of the modern size acceptance movement is the repetition of the idea that being fat does not mean that you are unhealthy. That’s actually something I believe in. I want to divorce the idea of fat and unhealthy. The flip side of this, though, is that people who are fat and unhealthy are marginalized by the fat acceptance movement. And this is where the intersection with disability rights activism occurs.

Some people are fat and healthy. Other people are fat and unhealthy, for unrelated reasons. Other people are fat because they are unhealthy (hi, that’s me). And some people, yes, are unhealthy because they are fat. There. I said it.

I believe that all of the people in the above paragraph deserve to be treated like human beings. They deserve respect, they should not be shamed for their bodies, they should be given accommodations if they need them, they should not be treated as figures of horror, mockery, or fun. I would like to believe that everyone in the size acceptance movement thinks this way. That the movement is about acceptance of all people and all bodies, no matter how they came to be the way they are.

But. The problem is that, in some areas of the fat acceptance movement, there’s a good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy. Some people push the “good fatty” part of the dichotomy; fat isn’t unhealthy, we are the face of the obesity epidemic, etc. And they tend to sort of ignore the “bad fatties,” the fatties who are disabled (whether or not their disability is related to fat) and the fatties who are unhealthy. Because they don’t fit with the message of the movement.

Who’s a better face for a public campaign? An older woman who is a wheelchair user, or an able-bodied young woman?

This is a common problem with feminism, too. In the hurry to advance the movement, to try and accomplish something, people get left by the wayside. Not just left by the wayside, actually, but steamrollered and stuck in the closet. The bad fatties are that family member no one likes who gets ignored at the end of the table or accidentally left out of social invitations. They don’t make the movement look good, or they don’t support the core messages of the movement, so they have to be excluded “for the greater good,” except that this concept is a load of bunkum.

There are people who want movements like size acceptance to be more inclusive. But it’s an uphill battle. Some people argue that it’s better to focus on small steps, like getting society to accept fat people, before introducing people to the idea that there are different kinds of fat people with different kinds of needs. I think that this is a mistake. It’s a mistake because it sets up exclusivity within a movement, and it’s a mistake because it values and prizes health/goodness above all else.

In short, people in the fat acceptance movement are falling into the same trap which perpetuates ableism in our society. It’s the trap that says being sick, for whatever reason, being disabled, for whatever reason, is objectively bad, and possibly your fault. This is the trap which is used to push people with disabilities out of the public discourse, because they raise uncomfortable issues. And because they make people uncomfortable.

The Fat Nutritionist, one of my personal heroes, wrote a great post about the fact that we have no obligation to be healthy. That post is as example of one of the ways in which we can start to deconstruct and break down this trap. We wouldn’t need a good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy if we accepted that some fat people are unhealthy or disabled, for whatever reason, and that’s ok. And that those people have some unique needs which need to be addressed, rather than being ignored in the desperate rush to make the movement media friendly.

So, are fat/size acceptance and disability rights activism the same thing?

No, they are not. But there are a lot of commonalities. Both are getting at the idea that all bodies need to be accepted by society, including those which don’t meet objective standards of health and beauty. Both are getting at the idea that policing identity, disability status, and health is not acceptable. Both endure opposition from people who think that fat or disability are somehow objectively bad and the fault of the person experiencing them. Both suffer from a good/bad dichotomy. Members of both movements face the “well, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about those other fat/disabled people. You’re fine, it’s just those other ones that I have a problem with.”

Size acceptance needs to start addressing its ableism in a more meaningful way. It’s going to be difficult. I’ve fallen into the good fatty/bad fatty dichotomy myself, and probably will continue to do so despite my best efforts. Getting more disabled fatties involved in size acceptance would be a good way to start doing this. (Shapely Prose, for example, a major fat acceptance blog, could really use a columnist who identifies as fat and disabled, although Sweet Machine is a terrific ally for people with disabilities.)

Disability activism also needs to address its sizeism. Sizeism may not be as entrenched in the disability community as ableism is in the size acceptance movement, but it’s there. It sometimes manifests in very insidious ways, too; sadly, marginalized people sometimes marginalize others in an attempt to assert their right to exist. If we could recognize their right to exist, maybe they wouldn’t have to fight so viciously for it.

One of the best ways to start breaking down exclusiveness in these movements is to start stressing, when people talk about these issues, if you are identified with these movements, that people are talking about you. I am clinically obese (”but you don’t look fat”/”you can’t be fat, you’re not disgusting”). I am disabled (”but you don’t look disabled”). I am, in some terms, a bad fatty (”oh no, I’m talking about those other fat people, over there, those ones, not you”). That’s me that they are talking about. And every time I say that, I humanize the movement a little bit more. I get people thinking about things in a new way, because they identified me as on their side, as one of the “good” ones, and it’s time to start rejecting that thinking.

Angry Bitch —

2009-11-05T05:13:00Z

Adipositivity 325

2009-11-05T01:02:26Z

Adipose: Of or relating to fat. Positivity: Characterized by or displaying acceptance or affirmation. MISSION: The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that's normally unseen. The hope is to widen definitions of physical beauty. Literally. The photographs here are close details of the fat female form, without the inclusion of faces. One reason for this is to coax observers into imagining they're looking at the fat women in their own lives, ideally then accepting them as having aesthetic appeal which, for better or worse, often translates into more complete forms of acceptance. The women you see in these images are educators, executives, mothers, musicians, professionals, performers, artists, activists, clerks, and writers. They are perhaps even the women you've clucked at on the subway, rolled your eyes at in the market, or joked about with your friends. This is what they look like with their clothes off. Some are showing you their bodies proudly. Others timidly. And some quite reluctantly. But they all share a determination in altering commonly accepted notions of a narrow and specific beauty ideal. Bookmark adipositivity.com and check back often, as new photographs are added regularly(ish). And please help spread the message. The Adipositivity Project: Changing attitudes about the aesthetic validity of big women, one fat fanny at a time. ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER: Substantia Jones’ photography has been exhibited in galleries and museums throughout the US East Coast, and has appeared in The New York Times, Time Out New York, and some other publications she can’t recall at this time, but you probably haven’t heard of them anyway. She is biographied in the 2006 Who’s Who in America (though under the name her momma gave her), and back in the day, she won some photography awards which would sound somewhat Mayberry if listed here, but at the time, they damn near made her cry. Still kinda do. She lives in Manhattan, where she also sometimes steps out (more like lays around) in front of the camera, and on some of those occasions, the snapping is done by her trusty sidekick, Dr. H, who also fetches her banana popsicles and maintains her muse, a certain pancake colored dog who’s asked that his name not be mentioned on the Internet. Ms. Jones likes crispy calamari, Squidbillies, and the ika okonomiyaki from Otafuku in the East Village, if only the lines weren’t so long. ANNOUNCING: TAP Shop is now open! To mark the first 100 Adipositivity Project images and to answer those who've asked for T-shirts, calendars, and posters, a CafePress shop has been set up with the requested items, as well as mugs, bumper stickers, mousepads and greeting cards. Yeah. Went a little crazy there. So go get your merch on! Visit TAP Shop Thou shalt not reproduce without permission. Except for babies. Make all o' them you want. © The Adipositivity Project 2007-2009

Sequins & Stripes

2009-11-05T01:37:00Z

I had to have a striped long sleeve top after seeing many fashionable women photographed by The Sartorialist in something very similar. I think that mixing stripes and sequins achieves a fun, whimsical look. I have been ignoring this sequin jacket so I was happy to be able to wear it out today! Also pictured are my fab new denim leggings. I love a good dark rinse—a wardrobe essential in my opinion!

Top- Asos, Jacket-D. Perkins, Jeans-Asos, Heels- Jeffrey Campell, Bag-LV

Quick note: Someone asked me whether I ever photoshop my face in these posts (like, blurring it to make it look smoother). The answer is no. I want to be accurate in what I portray—whether it be myself or my outfits! Posting this in case anyone else was wondering. My skin stays nice due to an intense skincare routine, lol. I can make a skincare post if there is interest!

So hey guys! Been really silent around these parts, hasn't it?

2009-11-04T23:46:00Z

So hey guys! Been really silent around these parts, hasn't it? *blows dust off the blog*

So I'm sure we're all starting to feel the effects of Winter, or at least late Autumn, and I thought, well that's a darn good topic for a post! I'll check out the latest Winter collections and maybe pick out a few favourite pieces!

And bloody hell, I take a few weeks away from fashion and it gets as boring as a potato. I mean really, the stuff I've seen has been muted colours, boring fabrics, the same dowdy shapes. Of course there's been a couple of things I've liked, but not a lot of things made me stop and go, "Wow!!"

*sigh* Well anyway, using Evans' website (and believe me, for all my love of New Look, I actually gasped in horror at the crap they were offering. I'm sure it's all a lot better in real life, but on the website, everything was just bleagh.), I came up with this simple outfit:

Dark coloured tops, bright leggings and jewellery, and some kick ass boots.

So I want to say something in particular about the multi-textured top. Online, I have to admit, it really doesn't excite me. It looks quite boring, right? But in real life. Oh, in real life! I actually fell in love with it. If it had been on sale, you can be damn sure I'd own that! It's soft, and comfortable, and pretty! It's one of the few tunic length/dress-tops that I've seen that I'd be really happy to wear with leggings.

Sorry I've been gone for so long! And sorry for the ridic. boring post I'm coming back with. If it's any consolation, I've gone and got myself a mohawk! Check it out!

Until next time, lovelies!

Comment Moderation

2009-11-04T21:48:00Z

Just to make it perfectly clear - all comments on my blog are moderated and any comments which I deam offensive, unhelful or that I just plain don't like will be deleted.

Doesn't mean I won't open them up to public ridicule though.

So, Anonymous, if that is your real name, congratulations! You have been awarded the auspicious prize for "first stupid comment on the blog" with this stunning example of general ignorance:

"Why, for the love of all things decent, won't you just stop eating"

I shall, on this occasion, indulge you with a reply...

1. Because I'd be hungry
2. Because I'd get sick
3. Because I don't want to
4. Because I'd die
and finally...
5. Because I couldn't give a rat's arse about "all things decent." "Decent" is just not rock n' roll.

I Need Help

2009-11-05T00:00:00Z

by sylvia

Yeah, I probably need all sorts of help, but specifically I need help with a physical problem.

For the last 5-10 years or so, I have been suffering from lower back pain. Like severe lower back pain. Typically, it used to happen when I stood for long periods of time (like doing dishes or cooking) but now it is happening more frequently.

I talked to my doctor about it, and they did an x-ray and they couldn’t determine if lack of space between two vertebrae was always that way or a new development. Yeah, thanks for nothing.

And I’m sure my size G boobies aren’t helping things, and that a lot of my gorgeous, free flowing fat is in my stomach.

Regardless of all that, can someone tell me what is a good exercise for such pain? Please don’t tell me swimming or pool exercise, because I am too lazy to get my bathing suit on and actually go to pool at the YMCA.

Yoga? Pilates?

I need to do something, because at this point, I feel like I can’t do anything.

Thanks, y’all.

My disablity is not your diet plan.

2009-11-04T23:32:17Z

Thanks to Zaftig Bianca for pointing out Dr. Mark Hyman’s article posted on HuffPo today. It got me thinking. I went gluten free last spring after testing done by my naturopathic physician indicated high sensitivities to gluten containing grains and beer (which also contains gluten). This means I cannot consume wheat, rye, barley, oats, and spelt in any form, nor can I have any food to which these grains or their derivatives have been added. After going gluten free, I soon learned that neither can I tolerate lactose, so I have also eliminated all dairy products from my diet as well. I have worked hard to avoid gluten and lactose as much as humanly possible over the past few months. This is a lot of work because, as it turns out, foods that come from places other than my home may or may not contain gluten and/or lactose in some form or another. This, coupled with my son’s multiple food allergies, has meant that we are no longer able to eat out. Ever. It has meant that I’ve become that crazy label scrutinizing lady in Trader Joe’s. You know, the one with a degree in food science in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other. It means that I cannot just pop into the drive through whenever I feel a little peckish. It means that I bring food I prepared myself whenever I leave the house for more than an hour. It means that if it’s “company policy” not to allow outside food or drink, then I stay home.

Having food allergies and sensitivities turns out to be a huge deal. It sucks. It sucks huge fucking donkey cock. Yes, I am eating more healthfully that I have eaten for much of my adult life. And yes, I feel so much better than I have felt in a long time.* My mood is, for the most part, better. I have more energy, for the most part. But you know what? I would give anything to be able to think about food like a “normal” person again, to be able just hop in the car and drive over to McDonald’s for a Big Mac and a large fries, or down to the local chip shop (yes, there is an authentic, amazing, chip shop in my town) just once. But I can’t. Because if I do, I will spend the following three weeks in the digestive system equivalent of traction. And let me tell you, that sucks huge fucking donkey cock, too.

I don’t mean for this post to sound whiny or to diminish the experience of people with “real” disabilities,** but to just toss out “Hey fatsos, food allergies causes fatz!!” to the huddled, panicked, quivering OMGTEHFATZWILLKILLUSDEADERTHANDEAD masses is right up there with “Hack of a leg and lose 20 lbs!” as far as weight loss advice goes. Going gluten free represents a massive investment of time, energy (and money, people! You think rice/garbanzo/sorghum flour is cheap?!) and is a huge commitment, never mind having to deal with other food allergies like peanut and soy. It is not something to be undertaken lightly or without some degree of sadness. Having a gluten intolerance (or celiac’s disease or food allergies) isn’t the same as Weight Watchers. You can’t just stop going.

*I had a cluster of moderate to severe symptoms that have either mostly abated or have gone away completely.
**You know, the ones recognized by the ADA, although I would argue that having Celiac’s disease or a Gluten Intolerance or any food allergy would (and should) fall under the provisions of the ADA.

Hey, Doll

2009-11-04T18:50:00Z

I've styled a good number of people in my life, but never have I styled an illustrated character...until now. When I saw Melody Moore post a fabulous illustrated plus size girl in the Fatshionista community, I asked her if she would be willing to share some of her work with my readers. We collaborated via e-mail and decided that I would send over links to outfits I put together, and she would draw them up. I couldn't be happier with the result! I like this method so much more than photoshopping simple wishlists. Let me know what you guys think!

Get These Looks!
Look 1 (Date Night): Torrid Blazer, Evans White Tank, Old Navy Pencil Skirt, Evans Net Tights, F21 Necklace
Look 2 (Daytime): Old Navy Cardigan, Torrid Burnout Tee, Torrid Skinny Jeans, F21 Flats, F21 Bag, F21 Necklace
Look 3 (Night Out): Evans Dress (not yet available, to be released soon), Bakers Booties, Aldo Clutch

Look 1 styled by Melody, Looks 2 & 3 styled by Gabi.
To see more of Melody's fabulous work, visit her portfolio: www.melody-moore.com

144 / jibri sample sale

2009-11-04T21:00:00Z

Adding on to the list of possible holiday dresses, JIBRI is having a sample sale on over 30 items....

Weight Acceptance Prevents Weight Gain?

2009-11-04T13:05:00Z

SOURCE: www.drsharma.ca Weight Acceptance Prevents Weight Gain?This may sound counterintuitive, but it appears that one way to manage your weight and not continue packing on more pounds year after yea...